Episode 031 with Madi Allis of Vail Denim

[00:00:06] Intro: Hello and welcome to the junkyard hello my very best to you and yours Junkyard Love Podcast recommendation before we get going today it's going to be in the form of the TED talk I think this one's around 18 minutes it is from Paul Stamets sta M ETS and it's called six ways that mushrooms can save the world something like that definitely worth checking out he also has a movie that recently came out in theaters Fantastic Fungi he has an episode two episodes with Joe Rogan on that podcast super fascinating to learn about that sort of thing if you're locked in during this current quarantine might be a good time to just explore different things that you want to learn not your typical things step outside of your zone maybe kind of distract your mind with all this crazy news going on take care of yourself let's get going to the podcast we got Madi Allis Wu no reason

[00:01:26] Madi: Madi welcome so Junkyard Love Podcast how are you today I'm stoked to be here I'm stuck then you are Here I am I want to start this out with what did you listen to on the way here to be honest no I real

[00:01:45] Jacob: Ascend for the second or third time to Nate Tanzman first episode yeah you know what you told me that before maybe I just wanted you to repeat it so I'm like yeah I just listened to it I did yeah we were talking about just growth like it's just so cool to see someone grow like you know you we have an image of people especially in our small town we have an image of who someone is and like who we know them to be or where we've seen them in certain ways but as time progresses and we get older like there's now this allowing room for people to change and breathe it's just so cool it is it's

[00:02:23] Madi: Inspiring yeah no I

[00:02:26] Jacob: Music-wise what do you listen to music

[00:02:29] Madi: Wise yeah well we're being honest again

[00:02:35] Jacob: Not anything that my grandmother would like me to listen to but no I know I

[00:02:44] Madi: Listen to a lot of rap like hard rap what would our thought if I know well on Spotify rap caviar is my one of my go to

[00:02:57] Jacob: Playlist just very here and there no but um a lot of rap just to get me I did think I don't I always need a little boost so I feel like that's just it's not who I am you know the songs mean like I you know yeah you know I don't I

[00:03:16] Madi: Just like that hardness we'll know but if I'm not listening to rap no like

[00:03:24] Jacob: New country probably so there's a very vast yeah um to be honest I was kind of hoping that you would mention new country because I'm always like you gotta tell me who's hot right now I am missing out on the country but okay who do you like that within the last year is there any like songs country why I said I'm gonna be basic I'm gonna say Luke Holmes Luke okay he and his lyrics I do those lyrics do hit me and I can totally

[00:03:50] Madi: Relate with like his music is like super relatable for me or like for my past or my life so I really like him who else do I like it country I don't know no I'm More just like some I always have to have something in the background so if I'm not if I'm not you know if I'm just here and there you know tootin around town whatever yeah one of those if I'm like on my way to something yeah definitely rap but if I've got my daughter was me we're definitely kids Bob or some new country she's down with to you but I never hit VeggieTales not a thing dude I remember I grew up listening to those And like I was not I didn't I didn't have a family that was like into them into that side of me engine anything it was just I thought it was so good another song a classic they had songs about like hair brushes and this guy who

[00:04:54] Jacob: Travels around and he does I mean no

[00:04:57] Madi: It's educational he's our age very

[00:05:00] Jacob: Annoying very like bright orange bright blue outfit he's very out there but great for kids the kids love them yeah so it's worse than Steve on Blue's Clues I'll give you that Steve from Blue's do too so I watch this thing a couple years ago you might have seen this it was like a it was like a Steve's life after being Steve or something like that or wait was Steve the first character because I know they replaced him Steve and Joe I'm so embarrassed

[00:05:24] Madi: I don't know but I watched this thing where it like it was a video interview with him like later on he's like forty involved and he's just like I'm just a normal guy and it's kind of funny cuz your dream had he missed the clue but her brain is like no you're Steve yeah where's blue he's not here I don't understand that's so um so you're um your mother what's my teacher and I think it was there great right we should have been there my stepmom yeah same oh no she's

[00:05:59] Jacob: Still teaching she remembers you we talked about you know this is anything good no all good thing no I think she knows well let me see your sister too no yeah I mean we just you came up in conversation up when we were talking about no you know scheduled this podcast whatever no I don't I didn't really tell anybody cuz I wanted to be you know like it cool you know I did talk to her about

[00:06:25] Madi: It and yeah she's super excited yeah is

[00:06:27] Jacob: It so bringing up cuz it's just growing up again I'm just growing off they're like growing older to be differently we're talking about me it's so weird how life works like I would have never thought that like make look we're having this great conversation like we're here but like the connection of like I was however many years old you know um growing up in a small town our town is

[00:06:51] Madi: Our town is cool what's okay

[00:06:55] Jacob: Yeah I always hated that I always hated the like when people like overdo the joke about drugs and stuff it's like yeah what's your what's your view of

[00:07:07] Madi: Have you lived here whole life okay all Cowlitz County it's still like it's still oh yeah I've been here too I have grown I used to be like I didn't

[00:07:21] Jacob: Like it I was like my I'm too cool for my town like yeah I'm here I don't know that was all about but now I just I love it and like I'm it we're a small town here now you know I totally I love this - what's your what's your view on our

[00:07:34] Madi: Town like if you had to describe it to someone who's like oh that looks like a pretty town and you're like I'm gonna sell this town the lake the lake is gorgeous oh my god it is right we know

[00:07:46] Jacob: We have met you know anywhere I feel like anywhere you go know you know there's gonna be homeless there's gonna be drugs there's gonna be no crime well whatever no yeah I think that you know you get that

[00:08:02] Madi: Anywhere so um yeah meet up for me now I got my parents were born

[00:08:10] Jacob: And raised in Long Bay Oh No and they add me and yeah you know a lot of people don't know I know a lot of people through them you know to me I've lived here forever and no I don't know there's just so much no I don't I don't know like why do I choose Longview I don't know like you know I don't know to be honest like it's not bad like for me what I like I like to be outside and there's plenty of things no they were close to everything you know I don't know if I want city I've got Seattle I've got Portland right you know we're close to that if I want like mountains know where within you know you know what I mean we got were close to that too so like yeah I have everything within you know a short drive to so but long yeah I

[00:08:56] Madi: Don't know I'm not specifically stuck too long right but I do think that I don't know

[00:09:02] Jacob: Yeah I think long be like when we would consider our area in our heads it just seems like a long view it was like the main like the downtown project well I'm going into town like it's that it's long view you know but when we do have like our we're kind of a big small town you know you know that all the surrounding areas I have I mean I remember obviously like I hated that there was a lot of me hating the rain in Pacific Northwest because of a skateboarder yeah and so I'm just like I'm walking outside all the time and I'm complaining about it and like you can't get your grit you're bored wet because it just sucks it up and rest the bearings and water logs your tack and all these things but I don't know I was trying to think of you might remember to was there like a time in your life that you were like switched from no I don't know I feel like there was a time where I like oh you know what like I just didn't even realize it but over the last six months I've become to love where I live

[00:09:57] Madi: Well yeah after high school everyone moved away or went away and yeah I know

[00:10:02] Jacob: I stayed here a month no I did a couple years LCCC but you know I don't I do think like then I was like well like why am I here you know everybody's gone there not a lot of those people came back and I was like oh wait yeah like some stayed away and some came back and I'm like oh okay you know you know what

[00:10:20] Madi: I mean yeah and then I had relationships

[00:10:23] Jacob: That kept me here or friendships up whatever and like you know now I'm here I have a daughter and you know

[00:10:31] Madi: Like well what like yeah California is

[00:10:35] Jacob: Nice but we go there to vacation or you know what I mean but like I like it here the rain doesn't bother me like you know call me crazy but I don't like when I like at night going to bed you know don't and just crack the window and listen to the rain at night like that's peaceful to me and no yeah I'm yeah that's inconvenient don't but again like we want to go to the park okay grab your rain jacking your boots like there's nothing stopping me from the rain no it's more peaceful to me no yeah yeah and then all those other places that you know are out there makes a good

[00:11:09] Madi: Vacation yeah exactly dude I'm so with you on that I think and I just I don't know I grew you gotta realize like what sometimes our vision or our view on things is like we

[00:11:22] Jacob: Don't realize we don't see that it's our view until we like question it like it like I feel like I went a long time still like after high school even just like not realizing that I'd walk around not liking where I was at or like it would start raining and I would start complaining like that's normal or something and it's like wait like the raining is so bad like the rain is happening and then there's my reaction to you know it's two different things you mentioned you went to did you go to LCC is every said what classes did you take LCC that's the community college yeah you know I originally wanted to ya know I was all over the board I'm still all over the board but no I took some classes for like

[00:11:59] Madi: Elementary education but it wasn't my

[00:12:02] Jacob: Style I wanted to do something with like

[00:12:05] Madi: Legal not know like uh not criminal

[00:12:08] Jacob: Justice but like along the lines of that's fine me the word for it know what's it called when you what am I thinking read my mind um reading your mind criminal justice maybe it's that I don't know I'm in a space um nope no but then I realized that I wanted to do a lot of like this psychology sociology that kind of stuff like hey yeah I don't after you

[00:12:30] Madi: Know whatever reasoning I went just wanted to know like why no why are you the way you are was she the way she is that kind of thing so I took a lot of that into my own no hands and was like okay no I

[00:12:44] Jacob: Could have lived in you know in that psychology class like I took it twice I just like couldn't get enough of it no yeah so after that I know but I went

[00:12:55] Madi: Was I was working two full-time jobs at the time yeah and going to school so I

[00:13:01] Jacob: Thought well I'm making a lot of money right now you know I was what no nineteen twenty um no so like why go to

[00:13:10] Madi: School if I'm making all this money

[00:13:11] Jacob: Right now you know and then I quit school well and I don't saved on all that money and worked and worked and didn't have time to spend it and then you know you know quit one job because I had enough now and then just worked at a full-time job and No and then I was like oh wait you know wait where's school you know and then so yeah Here I am but no yeah I know I yeah what was your jumps how long ago was that like what was the last time that you took an LCC class like how many years ago is that six years ago six no no that's yeah about that six years ago seven yeah seven years ago okay between a good time no I'm not anti

[00:13:55] Madi: School no it's just not for me

[00:13:58] Jacob: High school is like no I loved high school have like a **** college thing down there but I'm wait I get it

[00:14:06] Madi: No I am this social choir I couldn't save my life so that to like book tests not a thing can't do it are they nerve-wracking good I could ace a class no not nerve-wracking I just I'm just I just I just can't like it just I

[00:14:23] Jacob: Seriously cannot yeah I think there's so many people who like the testers the class I'm there I'm I aced every single

[00:14:32] Madi: Class but every single test like math can't do math you give me math I'm dead like I'm out yeah no oh but um yeah I just I get feel like I tried so hard but

[00:14:48] Jacob: Like the tests you know yeah that kind of stuff is what got me somethin ya know I'm out sorry yeah I'm good money at these two little minimum-wage jobs you know well sometimes you got to look at like that's what's my happiness yeah like what's money I mean you got it you got a sacrifice like long-term of course but if you're able to look anybody this is this is a little easier on me this is making my life more fulfilling I did I did LCC right after so I graduated 2010 from Kelso and I did LCC was right

[00:15:16] Madi: Afterwards what's that hey what'd you

[00:15:19] Jacob: Say what'd you say you wanna fight no

[00:15:23] Madi: But I did LCC right afterwards and I honestly did it I was just like young and I was like I like I don't really know like I know it's probably should go to school like I should probably just keep doing this right like what I admittedly was just enjoying my life and in getting drunk and skateboarding and working like I was just like let's just keep doing it because I probably do that so I did a little bit of LC and it was enough I think I did two quarters and I didn't like any of it like a I just it wasn't for me i but I will say it was it was a lot of me I wasn't showing up to be the person that the teacher needed because I wasn't fully invested I in and I was also young and too cocky for my own good

[00:16:04] Jacob: Like not being good at math is in a cool place that I like to be it's very uncomfortable and so I would just be like I'm too cool for this math class now I'm gonna go you know in I don't know I feel like I'm glad that I went to LC I'm glad that I like experienced it and I don't know just you know a community college is a great to check out like it like is this for me because you know sometimes you're like I don't know if college is really for me and spending $40,000 exactly yeah but I do wish that I mean maybe like later in life I loved learning about like psychology and a lot of that same stuff I'm just a YouTube guy like all day every day I love listening to like all kinds of stuff like that um do you remember anything that like stood out at that class like that you love learning or do you member like anything that hooked you on psychology sorta stuff no just no my teacher at the time that was yeah he was really easy to listen to no and he was really intriguing he could

[00:17:01] Madi: Even be probably good to sold you on

[00:17:04] Jacob: Anything but I know like I just remember when we're at like where I was at and that time in my life you know like the

[00:17:13] Madi: Relationship wise but I don't I just

[00:17:16] Jacob: Remember like no things learning in the class like making people who they were like why people don't act out the way they do or I know what makes them think the way no you know just like cutting into somebody's mind and you know which yeah I know it's not probably for example well but just realizing like no that's why he is why he is or that's why she is who she is kind of thing and I just like I'm obsessed with that yeah you know as time has gone on and even

[00:17:46] Madi: Over the last couple years like no I don't want to say I'm obsessed with it but I'm so intrigued with like no like how my mind has developed over the last few years and like what makes me

[00:17:59] Jacob: Who I am like you know people that I

[00:18:02] Madi: Know I don't know it's crazy it's so cool though you just like try and figure people out it's like I hate puzzles but these kind of it's a very satisfying puzzle because it's very cool to learn about others and then when you learn about yourself and you learn like I don't know like who's in the more I learn about myself like so all be okay so I have three older sisters yeah and like I've been fairly alone since like

[00:18:32] Jacob: 9:00 but before that like very detrimental times and like my brain and my cognitive functions and everything being born you know zero through seven zero through eight whatever it may have been so I have to look at a lot of the reasons why I do things like my more feminine side like I've been surrounded by girls my whole life like her special note sure of course and also like a lot of the things that I do are very the youngest child who doesn't get any privacy like I love my alone time like I'm like if I can if I can set up my

[00:19:00] Madi: Space for sure and like make it really

[00:19:03] Jacob: My own in controller you know cuz like growing up I said room shared rooms with sisters and I should ruin through

[00:19:08] Madi: My mom and in all these things like so it's interesting to see myself as like I'm a 28 year old grown man but I'm still kind of just living out being the youngest child some ways I'm okay with that like sure yeah but you kind of learn how you tick and you learn how other people tick it's just it's just fascinating like and it makes me it makes me more compassionate honestly I think it makes me know like I see people

[00:19:31] Jacob: As their whole life sometimes like that you know sometimes easy so angry drunk guy comes up to you and you're just gonna see that situation like you're just gonna yeah you know and but if you can see like there's a reason why he got drunk exactly you know there's a reason exactly you know nothing you could just give everybody the benefit that now just a situation but it's definitely a thing of beauty um Madi so after LC he said it was like six years or so in between to where now what was your life like in between then what were you doing what were your jobs I

[00:20:07] Madi: Worked at a tanning salon for a few years no and I know left there and work in a dental office like I got up front stuff insurance verifying all like office

[00:20:19] Jacob: Assistant kind of stuff and then I know oh shoot I let's see no okay hmm what let's see so I just I just worked no for a few years no I don't I literally just worked just working up Emma and I know so okay I

[00:20:44] Madi: Worked I worked at moonlight Bay gotcha no I don't know I left there and worked at a dental office and no I do a lot of Insurance verifying stuff not and upfront like office assistant kind of stuff and then I did no friend god no that I knew it was a real really big into like a car see no not like race cars but like um like a modified car scene no and no so I quit my job yeah a little bit after that and yeah I did not like photography for a year just for that not that car club but like local car clubs in general from Portland to Seattle so I did a lot of pictures for like car events no and that occupied my

[00:21:33] Jacob: Time for almost a year you know and then after that I went back it up don't went back to the dental office worked a little bit no you know

[00:21:41] Madi: They're kind of RAD on my brain you're talking about I actually forgot that you did the photography thing for a little bit I'm not a photographer well I mean you took photos I know I did but I don't I don't want to call don't give myself that title right but did you enjoy it while you yes I did yes I did and this side coming out lately he's totally making me they don't like reminisce on those days like I cannot wait to just meet up with old pals every second just like get their cars washed and not yeah super fun I met a lot of cool people that don't end up some really cool relationships and that which no but maybe a few don't my favorite one is no I talking to this guy no he was involved with one of the no yeah we've got the car groups that I was going to take pictures with or whatever and he was a four - he is a photographer no and

[00:22:32] Jacob: You know you know I mean I remember

[00:22:37] Madi: Telling my mom like I'm not gonna I'm drunk I'm gonna drive up to Portland today no I mean up with this guy and we're gonna take pictures no and I look on her face was just like

[00:22:47] Jacob: Yeah well who is it and I'm like I don't I don't know I mean his name's Justin but I mean he seems really nice I mean oh I'll be back but whatever yeah you know no and no she was just I get yourself this wasn't gonna happen not like she was not she's gonna get murdered by the nice guy he's a super good friend no but yeah and we still chat to this day but you know it's super cool like taught me you know a bunch of different things I took pictures of his car like he gave me some really cool tips and no we all I mean you know got kind of close after that and no I mean we're still so good

[00:23:25] Madi: Friends but no and no he's married now

[00:23:28] Jacob: And you know you know has his life set and I'm you know we I don't know it's super cool bill yeah you know it was just funny how like that one like going out on a limb to go meet up with oh no with this person who I just trusted that he was gonna be good because you know he we had mutual friends up or whatever and you know super cool but yeah following

[00:23:48] Madi: Three one like intuition let's just try it yeah and that's something that you can have like no maybe you weren't planning on being a photographer forever being the most famous photographer but like it's something like you say bring it up every summer and enjoy taking pictures of cars were you into cars no I don't know much about cards well okay what do you like about cars what in what's your what kind of cars do you like see here's the thing no mind you this was a different no time in my life right I said little bit it still holds up a big piece of my heart boat I was really into that no there's a local

[00:24:22] Jacob: So I'm Subaru group in town in Longview no and my friend at the time was always

[00:24:30] Madi: Part about part of this group no and so it was boyfriend let's just put that out there

[00:24:36] Jacob: So we split up no and you know he you know that went went one way no I kind of stuck with no not his car group but no the car group and kept taking pictures or whatever you know and so I just kind of like all those friends soon became mine not and then as mad as that sounds like yeah yeah no but yeah so you know still to this day you know last weekend some of us hang out wait no wouldn't we all went out for dinner and no drinks or whatever yeah so no I mean it was funny just because something that was just so little at the time no just like something to do don't go out and take pictures for one weekend whatever no and then what that was at least like six or seven maybe eight years ago no n-no yeah we're all still in the cars but we're all like well no some of us are married

[00:25:31] Jacob: Up some of us I've kids Oh some of us have moved away but still make the time do don't get together you know every so often I think that's a really cool thing about community I really like to mention that word you know because it has different meanings like it expands its me yeah and I think like it's cool because you know this is six seven years ago and it still is a community that it kind of exists to you look you die you guys got you get together and hang out I really like to encourage people to like you know in a small town a lot of times you think that you need to find what everybody else is doing and do that but you can start where you're at you know like I'm sure I have a Subaru and I like Subarus like maybe there's a Subaru Club I have a yeah they may have stuff like that now but I think it's meetup. com me it's not it's not where you meets angles yeah but it's a I did it I did it to join a book club actually in Vancouver sure and it was a it was super

[00:26:20] Jacob: Cause super glad I did it but yeah I think encouraging people to do things like that like if you have an interest and there's people you're like I'm nervous to meet them but like yeah we do share a common interest we can just start by talking about Subarus you know ya know funny thing they do is yeah you know I know you know a young kid came to you and you know making his coffee and he was on his fence growing on his phone you know waiting and I was like hey you know is that like are you trying to like a blog is that a bug I know and he just looked at me know and know what he was like what no I got is that an o2 or no for

[00:26:57] Madi: And he's like wait what wait you just like it's like is it a no - or is it a no for no and he was like what would you have won and I'm like give me like you

[00:27:10] Jacob: Know he's like no well how do you know about that and I was like yeah yep a long story but it just like totally got kind of off garden yeah so we got to chatting a little bit and you know he just you know we don't I don't like so you know like what's your story like how do you know how did you know about that and I think it's kids probably like know maybe 21 so super well I don't like fresh fell into the scene that I feel like I should be a veteran in but yeah so it was super cool they're just gonna don't see his eyes light up like oh my gosh somebody like knows what I am you know what I mean yeah because you

[00:27:46] Jacob: You can you can pull somebody out of their stuff sometimes like not that he was like just you know I hate on social media sometime but just because he that's so cool and you're like we have a common ground for sure let's start there yeah I think that's always a powerful thing like even if strangers for sure but even if it's like a co-worker somebody that you just don't think I have I don't think I know I don't think I've ever met a stranger no I don't I don't I'm just no I'm just nobody's asked I think everyone's my friend I mean I know this people who don't like me you don't but I like know I will I'll be friends with anybody like it's just ya know I don't know like if I know ya idea I think you know you're the

[00:28:23] Madi: Same way don't worry I mean you I mean you'll talk to anybody you'll be friends anybody right yeah that's that I can yeah I don't know do you remember can you think of like how that started or I always try to like my mom is so that's how I am yeah every time we'd go into a grocery store she'd

[00:28:42] Jacob: Know like she'd know somebody or I'm like oh my god shoes that have Q shoes on I'm like okay well that's where I get

[00:28:50] Madi: It so yeah anybody I mean no just no I don't know I just a little like what's you can't never have too many friends right yeah I can't you I mean I think I don't think so I mean I know I have a small circle a

[00:29:08] Jacob: Really small circle no I'm really tight

[00:29:12] Madi: With but I don't I mean like there's

[00:29:15] Jacob: Nothing wrong with knowing somebody in right you know there's different like levels and stages they're doing it's okay that's something that I that I'll definitely have like learned as I've gotten older like yeah like you know the mindset that we have I'm like this is what a friend does this is what a friend does and it you know as you get older sometimes it's like my childhood best friend yeah right well well no I think it could still be friends in a lot of ways like it's like you know you see him you haven't seen him in a year and you're still super excited to see them like they're still your friend they're still whatever like yeah but there's also your group of friends that it's like hey I haven't talked in a couple weeks what's going on like are you still good you know whatever it's a you have to like learn that not all of your friends and friendships and relationships are all the same across the board you kind of like find different ones but I really like that about you and I think that's super cool that you treat everybody as a friend you see you don't see think anybody is a stranger no I know and I

[00:30:08] Jacob: Just got I sweat no I don't I had friends it no it's that by themself at lunch no I know I had friends it around the basketball team and friends that you know what I mean you know that were in freakin band nerds whatever some of those were the coolest people but I'm just not I just don't have like go like that one no I don't know I'll be friends with anybody everyone's yeah I guess I feel like everyone's got something to offer someone else no that's what I think I

[00:30:35] Madi: Definitely think the same thing I think

[00:30:36] Jacob: Knowledge is power and everybody has something different they can teach you everybody that you talk to you it's just waiting to teach you something you don't know like you know so much stuff I don't know yes so much I might know I'm I know stuff you don't know but like haha life is cool like you know in

[00:30:51] Madi: The past I've been really not really bad

[00:30:55] Jacob: You know me I don't but really bad yeah

[00:30:57] Madi: Like talking to respond like that was that was one of my 2020 goals no it's talking no don't are not

[00:31:06] Jacob: Talking to respond but like just talk like a conversational but I want to listen and not be like you know coming up with what I'm gonna say when you're done talking you know what I mean right that's where I'm at that's actually like a difficult thing to do like when you know there's a lot of effort yeah do you have any recommendations for anybody who like might notice like oh maybe I do just wait for my chance to talk because I have my I myself I've even heard my first some of the first podcast I'd be like oh my god I was just like well like

[00:31:36] Madi: That's part of conversing though right

[00:31:38] Jacob: Right you know we're not like you say

[00:31:41] Madi: Something up and I'm like oh yeah oh

[00:31:42] Jacob: Yeah well I you know yeah but like if yep if you're like really talking about something you know in and you say something you might spark something of mine but you know just like hang for a sec like let you finish instead of like oh yeah well I have this too or whatever but like yep you learned up you learn so much more about by giving them the extra couple minutes or seconds or whatever just to finish what they're saying and then you'll process you know

[00:32:08] Madi: Don't yeah because there's honestly been

[00:32:11] Jacob: Times where like I'll chat with someone

[00:32:15] Madi: For however long and no alright well

[00:32:18] Jacob: Catch you next time you know like have a good day you know and you're like wait what like what you know have you ever had that well we're not like not like a

[00:32:27] Madi: Mind blur but don't like what it like

[00:32:29] Jacob: Okay I felt like I totally just rushed them through that conversation cuz I was so busy like trying to catch up or like tell them about me you know sorry no it's not about me like I want to hear about you right like you know what I mean have you ever done that no yeah I do totally get that I know sometimes I think that sometimes I think that like my brain anyway like social media Allah this might be a stretch but okay so

[00:32:55] Madi: Sometimes so say I just posted or say it's a I'm famous on social media I'm so popular I'm the coolest guy ever in social media and like I post everyday everybody knows what I'm up to today it's like everyone's like oh yeah Jake's he had cornflakes

[00:33:10] Jacob: You know you don't yeah but you did what was it last year and you shared it yeah yes I am I'm on my high horse on Facebook I like when you run into people you know you want to know what they're up to right you don't know about the car they just bought no or the disco whatever yeah see I do pay attention I'm a scroll too much you know that was a good no it's a good eye opener yeah okay sometimes where we're trying to hold everything remember everything from their Facebook we're trying to you know you see I think no the person who you meet in person the person who you talk to like whether you know about their past or whether you know about them or whatever like I think just giving them a blank slate to just have that conversation there and just like not assume that they know this thing you know like if you just like I said I had cornflakes reckless like I can't walk up to everybody and yeah in the back I have in the back of their mind like hey you know I had cornflakes for breakfast this morning weird but so many people and you know

[00:34:12] Madi: That so many people are that way yeah no yeah no yeah I don't know I don't like it yeah it's uncomfortable but I think it's something that we have to like no social media is a weird thing man but it's a good thing if you use it for the right reason definitely what do you how do you manage your social media use like what are you who do you follow on social media that you like following that's not just like scrolling stuff or not see like I know like on my Facebook know Instagram is just for scrolling no but Facebook like friends yeah

[00:34:56] Jacob: Friends family you know people that I know or of like know that I have no not that just like oh I know no it's her because of her well I don't that's on Facebook it's work for me but like Facebook is for people people I don't that I want to keep in touch with but don't see or I don't know yeah it sounds too cliche but we didn't

[00:35:22] Madi: Know like my daughter just started her first ballet class and I've got lots of friends that don't live around here that

[00:35:28] Jacob: I don't want to start like a 12 person group chat know you know I didn't know like family that lives away from your well so where I can post it on there and then they'll all see it maybe they'll see it no you know what I mean know what or do I look for recommending okay she only got anyone anybody have like a cool DJ they can DJ wedding whatever and then everybody responds with you know Carlos good now lately I'm like yeah you know you know I think no so I like social

[00:36:02] Madi: Media yeah because no I get all it can be negative because you're constantly you don't like well if you

[00:36:11] Jacob: Have it you know like your scrolling your scrolling and then like no I don't know like everybody's lives

[00:36:18] Madi: Are perfect on Instagram no they just you know or on social media they just are I mean my life is perfect on Instagram right look at it go look at my page like I'm happy as **** but and I

[00:36:29] Jacob: Really I really am but there are days where I'm just like oh they're not my days yeah you know human I am I am human but like you know you don't know like you know especially like business-wise you know there's I like

[00:36:44] Madi: Instagram for inspiration or like ideas

[00:36:47] Jacob: Or no you know it's good for like advertising or like getting your know your business yeah you know just yeah it's you know so social media can be

[00:37:02] Madi: Such a powerful thing like super powerful like in a super good way but it can also be not super good yeah I think learning to control it like we like people around our age we kind of like a road I always say we road like the way

[00:37:17] Jacob: We're just shredding it's so cool like the new thing well yeah razor what that's the thinnest phone I've ever seen in my whole life it's so mind-blowing and they have the next one and it's so cool but as we get older like this is you know I'm probably over overly dramatic about the subject far too often but for me I think like as a human species like we've never experienced anything like this before and I think that taking a look at like where are we at in history and like what's you know how can we take these cool exciting things and get older later in life and start to manage them and make them make our lives better so you said that you use Instagram for inspiration I totally

[00:37:53] Madi: Love Instagram for inspiration so you also have a wonderful Vail Denim coat is it Vail Denim Co company do we say yeah it's junk it's just Vail Denim Vail Denim no you know it's just it's just don't just Vail Denim so I had a daughter in 2016 her name is Cove like CoV veil like Vail Colorado no I love me - no me - it's

[00:38:22] Jacob: Beautiful yeah but you know you know she no she won't she was yeah no I don't not quite one no and I was a stay-at-home mom no

[00:38:36] Madi: Until she was almost too but um she don't she I had cool ripped jeans I love jump distressed no you know loved distressed jeans I probably wore him everyday you know and I wanted her never bear cuz who doesn't want to match right on their little baby girl so I went

[00:38:55] Jacob: Online and I was like absolutely not no

[00:39:00] Madi: I am NOT okay I can't spend up nor will I spend well don't like $50 on a pair of ripped jeans like my grandma would have a fit yes and no so I know

[00:39:15] Jacob: You know got a pair of jeans that she already had don't you know and I don't took my ghetto ass kitchen scissors to them and you know whatever and I made myself a pair for her nope yeah and I know you know social media I posted a picture of her because she was so damn cute and no and you know a couple people wanted I'm selling I mean I would make up you know you know whoever wanted a pair and then I was like I'm going in the hole no so then I was like I went I was uh no yeah so I

[00:39:49] Madi: Would make those and then no sure enough

[00:39:52] Jacob: I was like I can't yeah I don't know you know like but just buy my coffee survival mode like whatever no and then it got to be more than that and you know eventually had a lady named Sean you know who owned dope

[00:40:07] Madi: Like a brick-and-mortar kids clothing for no income Washington's yeah but she don't she reached out to me don't to see if I wanted to sell you know you know my little denim stuff there at her store and I was like yeah that would be like super cool but I didn't know like this was just like a side gig no I mean

[00:40:24] Jacob: You know no you know and so I don't I said yeah put it in her store no they sold I mean a lot more than I thought and so I was like holy cow and so then long story long I know but what I

[00:40:37] Madi: Started doing like women's apparel up cycled and distressed denim nope and sold those at a local shop in Longview

[00:40:45] Jacob: No and you know they don't that don't yeah I probably made no well I probably

[00:40:54] Madi: Made of like a few hundred pairs of shorts denim jackets or whatever that summer no that was probably two summers ago and so I was like holy crap like I know they don't like this is so

[00:41:09] Jacob: Cool but I'm like no a little overwhelmed you know yeah and so at this

[00:41:14] Madi: Point I'm where I'm working part-time yeah and doing this Vail Denim staff know and being a single mom know so it was super cool it paid for like all of our you know I mean I helped pay a lot of our bills but no now we've even gone a

[00:41:28] Jacob: Little bit farther and do you know and we don't have anything in any stores Oh which is kind of a weight off my shoulders but we launched our website no

[00:41:37] Madi: Veil denim calm and we do everything through that know so I still am taking advantage of my three-year-old napping and when she goes to bed I don't go to bed no for a little while and no my yeah

[00:41:54] Jacob: My entire kitchen dining room areas got no scraps and fabric and a sewing machine and a cutting board and it'll you know and I know I'm losing my mind the thing you hang on you're a backdrop a backdrop and it's got a ring light and it's like you know like I'm just a bunch of no it'll it's my little my little shop so no it's a fun adventure I've got a lot of local girls who also do like homemade hee no yep you don't you know small business stuff they wear really tight circle no and I know it's a super fun adventure super cool I met a lot of cool people through doing that too but yeah it sounds like you found another like community too yeah I'm all about finding little communities you know yeah I love that I think it's super important especially I didn't realize that until now yeah community hunter yeah well hey whenever when nobody's your stranger every surprise yeah me too do that

[00:42:51] Madi: So when you get in spots okay so I've distressed a pair of jeans and to myself I feel like I've definitely used kitchen scissors for sure but I've used hand saw like you know like no well yeah back and forth hand saw that seemed to be my go-to but I that's the extent of my distressing of denim well what else do you do like what are some you not to give away your secret tips or anything but yeah great job I graduate graduated up to no well no well no well my stepdad no used to so yeah make all his own clothes ski jackets no whatever like he know he's the king of the sewing

[00:43:37] Jacob: Machine know so I borrowed his sewing shears and I borrowed his sewing machine no it's currently in my kitchen no and no he is very supportive and he's all all you know well for me making this little business a new thing but no oh he hasn't asked for his sister's back yet he knows where is that what he knows to use it yeah you know he is going with this no oh yeah he is with all

[00:44:07] Madi: The sewing shears yeah I graduated up to

[00:44:10] Jacob: Those you know and I don't I have a little bit of a everything I do is hand

[00:44:16] Madi: Like hand distress hand up cycle whatever no so no I'm not China so I

[00:44:21] Jacob: Can't like bust out yeah but um I don't use a cheese grater or the razor anymore like I didn't know I'm a little bit more legit but yeah it's super fun

[00:44:34] Madi: No we graduated fried cheese grater it mines me and when I'm in high school every time I could denim I'm like oh my gosh Ramona needs to get like the tweezers and like flick each thread over oh yeah and it's no exam and it's so funny like I mean it's cool because in our minds we're like I cared about this thing and I'm wearing it and like really good nobody's gonna like super notice those details but there are some people that will and it is satisfying to you sure I really I've

[00:44:57] Jacob: Always liked customizing my wife

[00:45:00] Madi: Really what's customizing my always love that's another thing to wait we don't know like each thing I do don't there's not another thing like it like no we

[00:45:10] Jacob: Recently got don't know started like a

[00:45:13] Madi: Pre-order in it's funny because when I

[00:45:18] Jacob: Was packaging them up a couple weeks ago I thought of you know when you're you matter line or no ours with that says it's okay to not be okay and I was

[00:45:28] Madi: Like oh my gosh remember that sweatshirt I wanted so but none of our size is a is it no is the same like we have that same print to go on denim middle or flannels

[00:45:43] Jacob: Or whatever but it's not like I don't know like I won't sell something that looks like something else no like they all have to be you know like unique and one-of-a-kind really that's because so no I don't know I thought that was super cool but yeah I really like that I think that's a very cool business model and I'm sure that like the interactions that you have like when you sell to the person like so do you if you meet up with people like you get to see them face to face when you give it to them so now you're online but ya know

[00:46:13] Madi: Was that like no I work full-time yeah

[00:46:18] Jacob: And sometimes more and I don't have like I want to have time to map to me every single person and we put like a little personal touch up you know inside each package but it's not realistic for me to like yeah you know dry I mean well I'll if you yeah no I yeah I get what you're saying yeah cuz you got to start out like that sometimes like it because I was just thinking with you man deliver every baggage no and there's like hug every person that I think when they open it click it every thank you whatever yeah No yeah I think they're giving you a hug that they accept it they understand it's like an individual original piece I think that's supercool fashion-wise just

[00:47:00] Madi: Even before distressed denim and stuff when did you get into fashion do you have anything that like not know so it's

[00:47:06] Jacob: Kind of you mentioned earlier like no you had a lot of sisters no three that's a lot no you have like a different feminine side well I grew up with two brothers know so I'm like vans jeans and like a ter like a hoodie or crewneck or whatever your pants right now to you by the way no yeah that's the dopest girl and so I don't I know I'm not super girly no by any means and so I'm not

[00:47:30] Madi: Really like into like know like fashion hmm but no yeah I don't know no like I don't know I just I just kind of roll with it like whatever's yeah you've know like I don't own a dress you probably never see me in a dress no but um no I don't I just think like look

[00:47:52] Jacob: And over the last couple years with like my mental health space - or mental headspace held space whatever know it like you know you know you can express so much don't like don't think about when you go somewhere and you like notice somebody's outfit hmm right it's cool know like oh no he has school shoes or she has a cool hat whatever like why

[00:48:12] Madi: Not like express yourself through what

[00:48:15] Jacob: You're wearing right like oh that's a

[00:48:17] Madi: Super cool sweatshirt that says it's

[00:48:20] Jacob: Okay not to be okay I want one like I want it no I want people to know you know what I mean or like whatever we

[00:48:27] Madi: Upcycled know oh like oh that's super cool denim bastard just whatever like you can express yourself through what you're wearing and it's just a super cool message whether or not it says anything we're all kind of like it's kind of like WWE sometimes in the real world right by that I mean like we're all kind of walking around like we all

[00:48:47] Jacob: Know like you know so you walk into a tap house right and like before you notice anybody fashion you all kind of know like hey these people everybody in this room they have their own **** we all have our own **** of all you know learn through different ways and we all have different paths and we'll have different futures we have different interests but like there's this common like WWE like but we to pretend we don't we don't have to like yeah we'll have to make sure that we're all but I think for me fashion has been always been cool because it kind of like puts a little flag like a sticks out like with WWE it's like a real UFC fighter sort of thing it's just we can break out of that thing like someone who would not expect you or I to talk to them and we're like hey man that's a cool jacket and I'm like oh shoot and

[00:49:27] Jacob: Then you know you break him out of their head like you were talking about that with the super with that guy like yeah you know it took him a little bit he was like stumbling but then you have you open up the conversation so I think that's super freaking cool um excuse me so I want to go back to Vail Colorado selfishly just because I think it's no okay so I used to work this show I never skied up there or snowboard it up there but we would stay in the cabin with in Vail in Vail like actually up in there so you land in Denver and it's like what two hours up the something like a couple hours about that yeah it's been a few years but we have essentially my production team we would stay in the cabin and there's like the ski lifts through the front yard like okay you can go on the balcony I'm like hit someone's shoe no doubt who's on the ski lift in it oh my gosh so I haven't actually like seen the whole the whole beauty that I feel like other people have but it's very it's not he's done it's better yeah

[00:50:27] Jacob: It's very you know like got like a classy feel it's not it's like right out of a movie when I went like every time the one time you know I've only been there one time that's fine hey I had that much impact I've only been there like two three times I think but yeah yeah so um when did you go to hell with how old are you when you went there I was 24 yeah no 24 no and did you go to

[00:50:55] Madi: Like the town and stuff there right

[00:50:57] Jacob: Yes I have family in Colorado okay but we don't we met we went for air look like look we got I think about like about a week know and uh and we got closer to Denver know like outside a veil between Denver and Bill No yeah and

[00:51:13] Madi: What we just went for the mountain to the mountain because I mean you have to go there if you're there right and by the way we did miss the Kardashian clan by like two or three days no I was kind of bummed about that devastating wait what were they do they know skiing like they've rented the mountain that's a regular thing for them no apparently I know I'll just name my next kid Kanye or something no I'm down no I'm a huge supporter of Connie No all

[00:51:39] Jacob: Right lately okay what do you

[00:51:41] Madi: Think about screw Valen screw Vail okay I'm with you okay so I think my opinion on Kanye I'm just gonna bullet past you I'm sorry no I think I've had this some good conversation with Shay Lee's dad yeah about this like I think I think

[00:51:58] Jacob: Like oh it's coming either with it here

[00:52:02] Madi: For or you're not

[00:52:02] Jacob: Yeah I'm so here with I will say I give I've always given the benefit of the doubt like I actually rewatched risa I watched the Taylor Swift documentary and I saw the scene where he like interrupted her and I saw it as like an older person now no dad is so messed up what he did but back then I remember like oh he was you know it's no big deal it's just whatever like didn't realize but I don't know I feel like I have still grown with him and so what he's doing listener if you don't know he's been doing a kind of transition to all of his music into like more worship music he does his Sunday service thing now it's I think that like in the music

[00:52:38] Madi: World in like the pop culture world I think that over the next few years I think that Kanye is going to have like a very positive impact angry and change but I know I guess I don't follow no hon I kinda have just seen like what I see on YouTube it yeah I know I

[00:52:54] Jacob: Agree I think like no it's hard enough yeah you know it's hard to like good you

[00:53:01] Madi: Get a grasp on somebody that's had no no not death not that he's had a **** and they yeah negative impact on my life yeah but he's just not kind of known for

[00:53:11] Jacob: No being no Kanye you know you know that I'm not like all about him and it's you know you know and he's got I think like we talked about earlier know um you know who you know or like who you knew know like time goes on in know like know like as much as we can say oh yeah I've changed or don't like I'm different now in whatever ways other people are capable of doing that - yes no so and it's hard yep it's you know to like accept or recognize and be like oh I'm you know like I just that they're changing or well whatever like no other people are

[00:53:50] Madi: Capable of being somebody else no like they are capable of change and bettering themselves and I really think know that

[00:53:59] Jacob: No it's kind of like religion our politics like no you don't you know it can be II don't like your either no you either are or you aren't not here for you know you know I keep stopping there

[00:54:12] Madi: No so yeah I really I really think

[00:54:15] Jacob: That like you know he's gotten a grasp on like who he was who he wants to be and like who he is like who he's going to be right and I don't I think that it's less about like oh like you know his all about me I think it's not you know he wants to reach out and like let other people have that chance to be creative and like a positive outreach and be who they're gonna be or just have like a more positive no effect

[00:54:43] Madi: On know does that make sense no Tony because I'm somebody with that much of a know hollowing yeah like yeah like

[00:54:54] Jacob: He has yeah no yeah forward for where

[00:54:58] Madi: He's at like in his celebrity Fame or

[00:55:01] Jacob: Whatever no you know he's got like the know like he's in the perfect position like he's up on that pedestal on his pedestal but he's gonna use it for a more positive right yeah but I think I think it could be something I really do i genuinely do - I mean I understand I get my position I have always been like a Kanye family more they do no wrong but I really do respect you know it seems like I listen to more interviews with him in the last year and like I used to listen to interviews with him often like you know beat-making like way back in amuse you know and he's always been he's a definitely a different part like you know we see him and he's confident onstage and he's like says these things in his lyrics but like yeah when you had conversation with him or people would interview with him like he's not a super comp like he would he stumble overs words in these sort of things he'd be very misunderstood to totally human and then I feel like he

[00:55:51] Madi: Has he's helped himself out over

[00:55:54] Jacob: The last few years and he's a you know I'm sure I'm sure Kim and in their life and everybody other life has like greatly helped him having children growing up he just like he's shedding his ego in his life he's

[00:56:04] Madi: Learning how to he's learning that he does have like one of the biggest impacts of like I am a god yeah there yeah he's like you know it's interesting on he says I am a god or I'm I am the most popular like but it's if you know I mean outside of ego like he literally does have like one of the biggest followings like yeah he has the power to influence many lives and I

[00:56:25] Jacob: Think that's so incredible that he's taking that now and you know trying to trying to do good for it wherever that leads I think I'll be super interest

[00:56:32] Madi: Absolutely no absolutely yeah I'm intrigued have you ever seen Connie live no I mean videos yes but not like no I like I like Kanye about but I've never been like yeah I don't know I'm not anxious I'm anxious to see where this takes him I think I'm very curious like I like I need to know yeah good I'm like yeah cuz I feel like with

[00:57:04] Jacob: Pop culture I love pop culture but it you know we have the this is gonna sound tinfoil hat for sure we have like the government who like controls these things in the news and they control obviously like the business stuff but you know the leaders of pop culture control our everyday interactions like what like what we're wearing what we're influenced by what we're how we're talking to each other the slang we use the you know like I like Kanye is from

[00:57:29] Madi: Chicago and like oh wait he's never

[00:57:32] Jacob: Chicago but like there's slang that me as some white dude in Kelso Washington wouldn't never even use in my daily conversation but when I listen to a bunch of Kanye's caviar I mean I always do a lot of VeggieTales you know so with those beats rapping about the hair yeah but it's cool to you know it's cool to see that people realize you know like oh I do have an impact like what I what I do is made okay and what I do influences other people to do you know in really as long

[00:58:07] Madi: As a positive impact no that's what I'm

[00:58:13] Jacob: About right like yeah and it's yeah I know I know that he has the potential no I mean look at what he's done no and other is you know right I definitely I know he has the potential but I'm I just want to see what he's gonna do I'm sure my seat with that **** yeah I'm like I'm ready and I mean in Kim's doing a lot of really cool stuff I again I don't know too much about that site but she's like helping people who are wrongly accused and yeah jails and jail prison sentences and moms a Kardashian like she's worships yes

[00:58:44] Madi: Pretty indication yes no I know it's my but like the music I listen to I don't I don't live that lifestyle nor do

[00:58:52] Jacob: I want to don't you know but like I just I like to live it through them that's not who I am or what I you know so that's just a clear though I am rap caviar ya know I feel I have I have so many different moods where it's like yeah like I can be at the gym I'm like in my headphones it's just like the most hardcore like yeah and then someone I take my headphones off because someone talks to me okay yeah you know it's like I'm representing this it's know we all have human emotions and an outside of the lyrics you know you got to be careful with constant lyrics but yeah a lot of times it's the feeling that the song in the in the words give you just lock it especially driving man like sometimes you just gotta feel like a holler when you're driving yeah you got to go ham you do you so I want to talk about I always like talking about like digging a hole in change no I think I already mentioned something similar but do you have a point in your life or a

[00:59:51] Madi: Memory that pops up that you can you know that you changed your view on something you grew out of an old view or

[01:00:01] Jacob: No this is a tough one

[01:00:04] Madi: Start me like give me like yeah I got you okay let's have some ideas but I okay let's see where I meant let's see where I changed my view obviously like it like simple easy one just or they are conversation like my view on rain obviously I was just like oh yeah I should I should appreciate that sort of thing because that's what gives you the green grass but um I think I think he stumped myself even on this Mady what a terrible yeah it's not that hard but I thought I feel like no yeah like yeah I don't I changed my view no like on I

[01:00:44] Jacob: Don't know like there's so many areas

[01:00:47] Madi: That this could take me mm-hmm no well let it sit you want to let it just sit in the background if we come in why yeah okay let's see yeah okay how oh okay wait I do have one what was the areas that you

[01:01:10] Jacob: Changed this could spark one when you became a mother did was there like yeah you know because I'm obviously there's the inn and you could talk about the two like I've always thought okay okay here's one I change I'm following into okay stumbling over

[01:01:25] Madi: Being a host here I'm sorry so I imagine um I used to be very like

[01:01:31] Jacob: No instant to joke about like birth like it like if you're like in the room like would you want to be in there and there's just kind of like running guy joke of like I don't want to see that I'm not gonna see that tore up just like terrible like an open you know it's just like this weird joke that guys honestly don't approach farther than that joke like it seems like we like keep it there and we keep it like this joke between us but I have like over the last couple years like I'm trying to like you know figure out where like do I want to be a father and you know turns out yes I do and like these different things and I have opened my mind essentially to I think that

[01:02:09] Jacob: Instead of it being this like oh that's an intense situation I don't want to be in the room with the screaming and stuff like I in my head I'm like that seems like probably the most beautiful moment in a life like that seems if you think about it yeah that's what I saw yeah well you know it's a it's what we you know what we know and what we've heard and what it's just like that's just what it is like what you said oh when you think about you know being enough in their delivery room out when someone's giving a baby you just know like everybody talks about the worst you know no but well I like when I was in the delivery room I know well like okay so my water broke earlier that day no and it was a it wasn't what everybody thought like this no I'm not like completely honest like everything oh you'll know you'll know when your water breaks and I was like okay well know if your mom and if you're not a mom this might just be not your thing but no like we know when you're

[01:03:05] Madi: Pregnant weird **** happens just that so I was like oh I think I just kind of like what my pants a little no and I was at my mom's and son my daughter's car seat you know I started two weeks left no so I went inside you know change whatever came back out and I was like

[01:03:21] Jacob: Whatever not that but it was like okay

[01:03:24] Madi: No okay so I got no I told my mom whatever long story long she's like you need to go in no your water broke and I was like no it didn't no like look at me I might be like whatever I'm whatever so she know so I get in the shower I throw some sweats on I literally throw my sweats on grab my phone and go like I'm annoyed right I'm like 38 weeks **** pregnant don't you're a noise like taking me to the damn hospital though because I had a freaking little accident I don't have

[01:03:58] Jacob: Time for this like I've got stuff to do before this baby comes whatever so but she got she's like oh yeah are you hungry you know and I'm like no like in and out let's do this no yeah well so I don't eat no it's like it is 4:03 p. m. no because my birthday is April 3rd or 3 you don't so I know yeah it's 403 when I get to st. John

[01:04:19] Madi: That no I walk in no look my mom like walks out I mean she's like my daughter's water broke I think and I'm like oh like you know it's not funny to me like my water didn't frickin break oh my god like the movie said I don't like

[01:04:33] Jacob: All my friends said like y'all no okay oh that didn't happen so yeah so I got I get it I get in no I go to the bathroom well I go sit in the waiting room nope they call me back and they're like oh your water broke and I'm like I'm getting me right like what like that's

[01:04:52] Madi: Not what they said it was gonna happen yeah and so I go back yeah left and like I said I brought my phone no that's all I brought don't like threw

[01:05:01] Jacob: It in my pocket and what No so I get in the freaking room and no I'm like I have nothing no and I'm just like did you have like an overnight bag packed and stuff before it like you don't plan on hiking that's nothing right no so I don't plan no like I just know I just go so um that always works better for me what went well like what when I'm rushed up and I do bet the better was like yep we don't get everything no time yeah you just have to do so yep yeah and so I get in there and get my got my gown on whatever and no like I was up Diane I was dilated just to like a 3 or 4 so you don't you have to get to 10 right so and I felt I felt nothing like I was just more like bored sitting there you know so my

[01:05:53] Madi: Mom was there and my mom's friend was there no yes yeah and she got she's in

[01:05:57] Jacob: There something's uh I told her when I go in you have to be there like I want you know you know you know as a nurse

[01:06:03] Madi: Yeah I don't I want you I just want to want you in there friend for comfort well whatever you're my birth coach and she would draw all the birth classes with me and it was super fun but um I'm so good at making a long story even longer so we get into four five six I

[01:06:19] Jacob: Kind of get stuck there so that end

[01:06:22] Madi: Up they know they induced me to get

[01:06:27] Jacob: Things moving you know and no nothing

[01:06:29] Madi: Like I admitted like a seven not feeling

[01:06:32] Jacob: Anything or not contracting so I'm like is this right yeah I don't like I literally I don't I don't feel like anything and so then I get to like an 8 and I'm getting uncomfortable at this point like just starting to get like kind of stomach cramp II and then like eight and a half nine well I

[01:06:50] Madi: Oh they'll keep checking you yeah see

[01:06:54] Jacob: How not further dilated you are and not at this way I'm like at a nine and I'm like I have to got I need to up to like go use the bathroom and they're like oh no you can't am I go no well yeah okay

[01:07:05] Madi: This where my mom probably won't like this part of the podcast was like no I'm probably gonna like **** my pants like I need to go to the bathroom real quick no and they're like okay lay down but we're down the check here real quick you know and so I lay down and I'm like oh my god like I need you not to go to the bathroom like and to go back a little bit like I when I went in there I was but I wanted to epidurals one in the front one in the back I was not gonna feel this right so I didn't feel

[01:07:32] Jacob: Anything so I totally miss up miss the window for the epidural oh you know because like I'm not earning so I don't need it right yeah so at this point I'm like yep I need to go to the bathroom whatever so yeah they sent me back up now okay you know you we're gonna go get a doctor whatever I think you're about ready and I'm like Restless at this point you know I can't sit still like I need to go to the bathroom so no the doctors yeah couldn't they came in a couple nurses came in and literally if you've not ever been in that room you know it is so incredible within like five seconds they had that hospital room turned into like it looked like a spaceship like lights came out of the corners no I'm not kidding it was insane there was like yep seven people in there and I was like pushing hey I just yeah like I just know like I just went like I just that I didn't I didn't just want it and I was like my body just knew what to

[01:08:38] Madi: Do yeah it was incredible and I got super lucky and I think it only took me

[01:08:44] Jacob: Like maybe four six pushes and she was out but you know it was up it was insane like it was something that I'll always remember I don't I mean I got hurt I mean didn't feel good but like yep you're bringing another life into the world like whoa don't it's a it's a it is a it was weird

[01:09:03] Madi: Because like what I had her and they don't they later write on my chest I was like none of that matters I get hurt for a minute but

[01:09:09] Jacob: I was like they just went away yeah and you're like oh my god like this is my this is my little human yeah you know no it was the most like and I don't know from a dad's perspective but like as a parent like you created that right no

[01:09:23] Madi: It's so it's really cool and it's so no I don't know the word for it like if you don't want to be a parent fine like no there's other things that

[01:09:34] Jacob: You can you know you know you know that I mean not like your life your purpose is no somewhere else so yeah if you but if you are a parent no it's I don't know it's incredible I can't think of any other words to like describe that moment and then you got you bring the baby home

[01:09:50] Madi: And you're like all of your priorities

[01:09:53] Jacob: Change right yeah like you don't know you know you can't run you can't just run into the minute my real quick and grab know like you know you know you know what I mean like you know you have this life that you have to keep alive like it's not about you know like you know you're tired you're hungry yeah okay well this one comes first so yeah it's quite an adjustment but and yet as any parent well that could probably agree but you know I know like I don't know what I did before like it just is like that's just she's just my life now and I wouldn't change it for anything that's

[01:10:27] Madi: Because I had so much more well more

[01:10:31] Jacob: Energy you know before I was a mom but I don't like I'd rather be tired know every single day then not have no like I'm just bored

[01:10:42] Madi: Without her right yeah it's the best and

[01:10:45] Jacob: Like whatever you do yes they do you know no like you just adapt and you know that's a cool thing it's really just a mini run around oh my gosh oh and -

[01:11:03] Madi: She's awesome she's so fun yeah that's

[01:11:06] Jacob: Fantastic I you know it's a cool thing I very much like I like trying to take myself on the outside of situations that I'm that I'm in so like my friends you know like I don't have any kids but I have my friends over the years you know like and I've thrown rocks at buildings in drink at the age of 13 with these boys you know like we've been total turds but to see them like you know have some see we start having some serious conversations like to see them get nervous to see them like talk about how much they love their daughter now and yeah how much that you know to see a man or a woman change so you know they're especially through to childbirth to raising a kid is so cool and I'm glad that I know I think I just wanted to put a pin in it because I think that I used to because I didn't have my stuff

[01:11:50] Jacob: Figured out I didn't have like in my head it was like the thought of kids was like I would like to push it away cuz normally I don't know you know like I want to get it away but I'm being able to like look at it and see like you like your friends who you know very well just change as people and men and women and and just it's cool life is life is fantastic yes Madi I

[01:12:14] Madi: Would like to if you'd like to I would like to talk to you about Tourette I don't think that I know anybody else with threats but I think that as far

[01:12:24] Jacob: As like education goes you are fantastic with it as far as being kind to people

[01:12:30] Madi: About it I feel like you're great with that like explain to people what's going on you've probably had a lot of moments where in correct me if I'm wrong it seems like you may have had a lot of moments where someone may not understand it like they've never been around something with Tourette and they might like say something or they might like look at you strange like they don't know what's going on and it seems to me

[01:12:49] Jacob: Um I don't I don't know if sure tell me if I'm wrong but it seems to me like you're not kind of personal but with lucky looking at you know like you're like you're probably hard but wound up

[01:13:04] Madi: Whatever when I was younger I thought my mom no and still to this day is that

[01:13:11] Jacob: Is about the most supportive person know

[01:13:15] Madi: I've ever know like she I wouldn't know

[01:13:19] Jacob: Nowhere look like I wouldn't I know I wouldn't be here I wouldn't know who I was without her but um she know she's

[01:13:28] Madi: Always been so what

[01:13:32] Jacob: You know when I when I was like so

[01:13:36] Madi: Let's say six or seven is when I got diagnosed but leading up to that know I have what's called don't like transient tics so no they come and go they know

[01:13:44] Jacob: You know you know yeah they don't stay you know forever there's always different ones know so um I know I

[01:13:52] Madi: Started blinking my eyes a lot my mom was like oh my gosh you need glasses the teacher thought I needed glasses whatever or whatever No so I got glasses it went away no so I started clearing my throat no and then no the teacher my mom my

[01:14:08] Jacob: Parents I should say you know my parents no thought I had a cold or whatever whatever you know so I you know Michael went away you know and then the next thing came no you know and so how long they thought oh well it's just we're fixing up fixing the problem because yeah she got glasses and she stopped blinking hard or she you know what I mean oh no but really what we didn't know is these were the transient kind of you know of take so and so they would go away just in good time to no like

[01:14:39] Madi: Solve the problems no and so then it got to where it was like no it's a little bit more than this like ADHD threat

[01:14:48] Jacob: Oh no you know it's all along the

[01:14:53] Madi: Same line oh really no so ya know so I was diagnosed when I was about seven no a ton of doctors had no idea no it was just my age or was just you know all those kind of things and then I saw a specialist like a neurologist a specialist who specifically specialized in Tourette OCD ADHD all these like neurological things so she diagnosed me know and then you

[01:15:26] Jacob: Know going forward

[01:15:30] Madi: Through that like elementary

[01:15:32] Jacob: School dope

[01:15:33] Madi: I was on medication for Tourette you got but it would make my ADHD worse so then I would stop and I would do something for a DD no ADHD but it would exact

[01:15:46] Jacob: The Trix know so at that point towards like after middle school in middle school I was like I know like I would be no I was not myself like I was boring I was quiet I was really sluggish no and that's that wasn't me no and so I mean don't know I made the choice my parents let me

[01:16:10] Madi: Make the choice I get for you don't well if you don't want to medicate then don't know and so I was like all right like I'm out I'm out I'm done like this is and so after that I was well I was

[01:16:21] Jacob: Back to playing soccer and volleyball and basketball or whatever all the sports I played no so no you know yeah

[01:16:29] Madi: So then came in through middle school if

[01:16:33] Jacob: Yeah oh man elementary school no and

[01:16:36] Madi: Middle school my mom would meet every single year with every single one of my

[01:16:40] Jacob: Teachers no and she would sit

[01:16:43] Madi: Them down and say no this is my daughter no she has Tourette what can we do as a

[01:16:52] Jacob: Team to ensure that she has a successful school year no and no you know and at

[01:16:58] Madi: The time I was like oh well you know you know like here's my mom ya know but well

[01:17:03] Jacob: No and then as I got older know so in middle school actually no I don't ever know I would go to every teacher know and tell them when I got my schedule and talk with them and be like okay I'm mad you know I have tried like I just want to let you know so I don't come to class the first day and you're like you know no yep so in middle school I'm sorry in high school I would do the same thing and I remember one of my teachers I was like okay well on the first day of class I'll let you stand up and you don't know and like you know and introduce yourself to the class and I was like oh okay yes and so I did and then yeah I would jump I went to school that's about a lot of the same people since elementary school so a lot of them know I mean everyone not everyone knew me but a lot of people just knew me and it's just what no and I was friends with everybody like I just know whatever no stranger and so in high school I got like honest to god

[01:17:59] Madi: I was never like know like there were

[01:18:02] Jacob: Some **** no but I was never like bullied no but you know and I'm so

[01:18:08] Madi: Thankful but I don't but I don't and maybe it's because I'm just super confident or maybe I did get Boyd and I just let it like look like it didn't know it didn't like get under my skin I don't know no but I know I don't

[01:18:22] Jacob: I do think like you know me being able to own Who I am and you know because I had so much support growing up and it was just like not a thing like no oh you have tried okay like what's next so like I have braids in my hair okay you know what I mean just like why don't like it's nice for that the Fertile like further heads up but at the same time like okay thanks so but yeah and then in high school I thought it was it was good high school was good and same thing with LCC I let my teachers know that you know you know here's you know the low down and I'll be in your class you know and nobody know you know nobody really had a problem with it right no and I mean I

[01:19:03] Madi: Know like okay so fast-forward yep do too much like my early 20s no this is

[01:19:12] Jacob: Where no like I was born I've always been independent and confident and I'll do what I want kind of thing but more that more so in my trunk my 20s is when I just kind of became my own like know

[01:19:23] Madi: Like I don't need my mom even though I do need my mom all the time no yeah but um no there's people

[01:19:31] Jacob: Where no so yeah the biggest eye-opener for me was like I'll go into a store and people are like you know what I mean like what is happening over there no you know it's all just smiling like oh hey you know and they're like okay like you know you know I mean I'm sure I give up get mistaken for you know weirder things but no like it doesn't bother me is kind of my vibe so should so it shouldn't bother you sort of thing I don't know and if you're curious just ask like the biggest thing I can say is like I'm here no like I know I used to be here to educate no now I'm just kind of like it is what it is and I'm still what one day I want educate because ignorance is just a lack of knowledge like they don't know you know people just don't know that ignorance is a land knowledge case you know but on the other note you can't fix you but like some people just don't get it no some people do not get it they don't want to maybe look maybe they can't accept that I don't know they can't accept you know like the difference or whatever but yeah

[01:20:36] Madi: Like for me no matter everyone's got something yeah but whether you can see it here and feel it whatever no you just know you just have to educate like people don't like to me like I'm like how do you not know what it is no but I've lived with it yeah but people just don't know so yeah you're like oh I've trapped no it's just like a neurological disorder and whatever I make weird sounds no but no this is what it is not in 90 percent of the time like oh no yeah okay no but

[01:21:09] Jacob: Like there's that 10% that are like what yeah you know what I'm like but it's so cool that they're able to just like you're you're friendly and you're open and you're like hey if this is weird to you I can explain it real quick but otherwise that's just yeah what do you want to know about it not but you're looking at me so mad I'll tell you yeah no but young people need updated but a little bit later in my you know in my life I felt like I was almost getting annoyed I think well but under stress I don't know lack of sleep if I eat like crap it gets worse just like anybody's body right well when you eat like crap you don't feel good you know what I mean so no same for me but we don't like well you know like a little bit after like my mid-20s I would say I don't I would no I just wasn't taking care of myself like well I was I was but not in the right ways you know and so yeah like my trip was a little bit worse no and so no good I got to a point

[01:22:10] Madi: Where it was almost like angry and really short patience is that a word patience no well I

[01:22:19] Jacob: Just you know so if someone would look at me I'd be like I like do you have a question you know you know in my head I'm like God like why are you peeking through the frickin ass clothes a cat me we're at Nordstrom Rack not that ghetto no some racket no yeah so but I you know and then when I do when I was doing that I was like oh no well where does that get anybody nowhere oh so now I'm just like you know no what now well know that I'm a mom I feel I

[01:22:54] Madi: Feel like my daughter is only 3 but no it's never too early to start no so no like yeah well the other day we know or like not gonna know

[01:23:07] Jacob: So like doctor yeah you know Dino that kind of stuff doesn't even faze me where you know you see a guy in a wheelchair know do you know do you need to explain no he's just you know you see a lady with a scarf on and no hair no like those things up no those don't need to be explained right like it just is you know what I mean like people just are who they are no and so like my three-year-old the other day was I saw a guy in a wheelchair and she was like mommy how come he has wheels and I was like Oh **** just can't walk in nuts just who he is move along didn't bat an eye no you know it just he just you know you know it just is or no my mommy how come like yeah just little things and I'm Michael that's how God made him or whatever you know what I mean and so no little angel and growing up with me like nope yeah no you know it hasn't no it has not even come up to her

[01:24:01] Madi: Nope or any of her little friends but

[01:24:04] Jacob: Especially her like why does your mom make that noise you know like you know it just it just freakin is and she doesn't even know any different no but I do have to say no you know you know Billy Eilish yeah you know where she don't just sad your little interview on Ellen and let the world know that she

[01:24:22] Madi: Has Tourette - did you know oh I had no idea yeah I cry been obsessed with

[01:24:26] Jacob: Your brother Phineas so hold on come yet

[01:24:30] Madi: We'll come back to Billy Eilish okay but well covet right my daughter up was watching that man I was like oh my god **** Billy I know shows Tourette and she's like what's Tourette know no those weird noises mommy makes and she goes hmm mom want to play Barbies I'm like no

[01:24:47] Jacob: Okay so whatever you know but anyway

[01:24:49] Madi: Like so she knows Billy Eilish and mommy have Tourette no and you don't make fun that's not her key line like you know you know some new threats yeah I don't make fun no it just is what it is so at three she already knows like

[01:25:02] Jacob: No you know whatever the difference is yours color of skin she doesn't even notice and neither do i why should we it's just who somebody is okay so yep but Billy I'll Joe so one a lot a couple

[01:25:16] Madi: Years ago I was in the know the target parking lot changing my daughter's diaper in the backseat no and there's a big where like Mercedes van that pulled up no and no I was like oh that's weird and the girl that got out of it was like totally she was a really cute girl

[01:25:34] Jacob: But like her swag didn't matte like no no I don't know how to explain it she um she had a really crazy nope but like authentic vibe about her but I was like whoa like oh not a bad thing but I was like no like she's somebody like who is that no and then a guy got out and like - like it don't look like parents but they all had name tags on no like little lanyards you know until they went into target I stayed out there nope sat in the car or whatever they came out got in the van and left but as they were getting back in the van you know I read one of their like lanyards and it said Billy Eilish

[01:26:13] Madi: And so I instagrammed that and she had

[01:26:17] Jacob: Not even 10,000 followers no I swear to god no and so I was like well I

[01:26:24] Madi: Listened to some of her music which brought me back to SoundCloud to the ocean eyes okay I had that song Joe and so I listened to it and I was like that is cool but she didn't have much out at that point no and so well whatever no

[01:26:39] Jacob: And then she freaking blew up you know and I was like nobody's gonna believe it I saw her in the Kelso target bar you want I believe you but I did know I really did and no I so wish I know I don't know it's just super cool and I just think that she the bomb she was so cool no way wise beyond her years but she's got a lot of talent a lot of talent she does - she

[01:27:04] Madi: Phineas brother have you so I've been listening to the last couple days didn't listen to you I lost a friend by Phineas oh my god it's so good it's a it's

[01:27:15] Jacob: Essentially just like a stripped yes him singing with piano but he has like an artistic video behind it I lost a friend Phineas listener please let's do it fi and n EAS other music video is just a beautiful piece of art but that's so crazy I did not know that off to watch that Allen video cuz I absolutely love Maryland she's my favorite I just I just wish she was my best friend so bad but

[01:27:37] Madi: Had no idea that Billy Eilish had takes I had it yeah back and watch a lot of

[01:27:47] Jacob: Her music videos cuz I was you know I was interested and I was really intrigued she that she I think from what

[01:27:55] Madi: I understand pays her videographers know

[01:28:00] Jacob: To edit those scenes know where she no you know no leaks out or whatever no

[01:28:08] Madi: Because she didn't want to be

[01:28:10] Jacob: You know that girl you know the new the newest thing that I had to write like she didn't want to be known for that like she was Billy Eilish she's known for her music not know you know and I really admired that about her because know like I got like I get it I get it no but at the same time she asked her and makes her that much cooler right I mean in my eyes obviously but like and so ya know in somebody else's eyes it's like no like you know that doesn't stop her from doing from singing from whatever it's just a thing like it is like some people are back some thing to some people but I guess I can

[01:28:51] Madi: Do I we I'm speaking for people with

[01:28:54] Jacob: Vocal tics no well we can do anything you can do you know and we might even be able to do it better if the only thing I that I don't do is I don't go to movies

[01:29:05] Madi: I just don't know myself and that's why I do go to no and I've got into it with one person at the movies but they moved and I stayed in my original seat and all was good so no but I don't know I typically

[01:29:18] Jacob: Just don't put myself in that situation right so if I need know like if I'm in a spot where I need to be quiet I can know but then after that I just you know does it does it like if you how does it incorrect me if I'm using wrong terminologies to I don't want to sound arrogant like a flare up but probably not the right does it ever get like more intense so if I eat bad know if I am nervous right I know or like under no and you know in like an uncomfortable environment which this is it no maybe discuss I'm on the spot of course no I mean not even right now but like wind up when I am or what if I don't sleep good or no you know anything that would make

[01:30:02] Madi: The average body flare up or feel

[01:30:05] Jacob: Differently or not I don't know not perform in a hundred percent is the same thing but my just takes get more often

[01:30:14] Madi: Or no they're just more vocalized or whatever mm-hmm but the only time I don't do it is when I'm really concentrated no or no or when I'm sleeping I don't do it when I'm sleeping no and weird I don't know why brain is a magical thing IIIi want I feel like I want to learn more I feel like it's sticking out to me and you said you said ADHD and OCD I didn't know these were related my OCD

[01:30:45] Jacob: Has developed more so in my adulthood like over the last few years really ya know like bad no like no like knock I'm not controlling but no like I know I do

[01:30:58] Madi: I yeah I do have OCD right no like if I have a weird shirt on underneath my jacket I'll like sit you're in like can't stop thinking about me not feeling like because I have a motion well I mean I don't know how yeah it's I'm always know I wasn't diagnosed by a doctor I just had a different life I don't think you need to be you know yeah you know you know what I mean like and some doctors won't diagnose a real thing and I feel like self-diagnosis is

[01:31:25] Jacob: Sometimes better than but anyway yeah yeah I think I diagnose is I think for

[01:31:30] Madi: Me like it's like okay well I seem to do these things differently than other people cool that's that and then now how do I work with it like I have like for my ADHD that wall over there with all the sticky notes and stuff is me trying to organize my brain and all these things and so I also do like

[01:31:46] Jacob: Honestly this podcast is like no it took

[01:31:49] Madi: Me so long to really get my first episode going and just do it because I was like dude I have ADHD I can't I can't make someone sit here and I'm not gonna be able to concentrate yeah

[01:32:00] Jacob: But it's so far it's like no it

[01:32:03] Madi: Seems to be going well and I am a lot easier on myself than I thought I was gonna be like I don't have had it much of it like it's like it's just a conversation between two people is a moment in time and there's a lot of beneficial there do you it so it's probably way long ago but um and you don't have talking about if you don't want to but a medication wise do you remember back in the day do you take like adderall or any of those sort of things no they were so yeah something

[01:32:30] Jacob: Along the same ritalin is that the

[01:32:36] Madi: Same yeah it was same concept no on something like that no and fredo for a TD or 88 used to you

[01:32:46] Jacob: Know but I was the opposite where like no like I don't like no as a child I could drink a cup of coffee and that would have the reverse effect have you heard of that like no yes so those you know the medicines that were supposed to like chill me out would hype me up or vice versa no so you know you know it was so much going on in my brain at that time developing anyway and then having you

[01:33:13] Madi: Know those big meds that are supposed to

[01:33:16] Jacob: Cure you of whatever yeah nope and

[01:33:18] Madi: Playing with dosages and stuff like that

[01:33:21] Jacob: I don't I would just remember like you know day to day thinking like I don't want to feel like this sort of Franken - yeah and you know like I was trying to do like balance I got who I was in middle school high school and figure out like my medicine and my homework and what I was gonna wear and no you know whatever there's enough going on when you're that age anyway but

[01:33:44] Madi: Um no I think yeah I'm a big

[01:33:48] Jacob: Advocate for like no I don't like a little like natural things that can help you heal mm-hmm it's far as I don't like if you want to smoke weed to chill out find out if you want to go drink a rock star and go on a run fine no you know what and not saying that medicine is bad if it if it works for you fine but I'm

[01:34:07] Madi: Just all about finding away do you no no to like balance who you are and feel

[01:34:12] Jacob: Good about like except what you've got like you said with your OCD like okay you have it so how are you gonna deal with it or how are you gonna know you know am I gonna work it into my life not to suppress it like it's not very I'm totally cool with people just know like accepting who they are

[01:34:30] Madi: What they have and no like no educating others to what works for you might not work for me but ya know somebody else it

[01:34:38] Jacob: He it worked for herself yeah I love

[01:34:41] Madi: That conversation yeah I think for me I lot so if like for ADHD for me I wasn't a couple of years I was on not

[01:34:50] Jacob: Ritalin but the adderall and now like over the last it's probably been like I don't know six seven minutes could be totally off on that but I'm not on any of that anymore and I'm just like I found ways like you're saying the more natural way it's like honestly meditation yoga these sort of things they make me feel so sane like I you know sometimes I wake up and I'm in a whirl I just I feel like I'm like I can't focus I'm like obsessing over things and I'm like I had some night or whatever money nightmares dreams but I can have my routine where I you know like all you know drink my water do my stretches my meditation in it and it helps me not shut those things up you know those are you know these things are a part of us but feel that feeling I'm in control and they're not gonna stress me yeah and no yeah we should find no

[01:35:35] Madi: Breathing techniques to have you have you turned to breathing techniques oh yeah oh yeah what do you like no I never do that no like the like the same one is not a specific well specific one that I like revert back to but like if don't like I'm an anxious person I always worry no I've always been a warrior about things that haven't happened things that might happen things

[01:36:01] Jacob: I think yeah you know if there's like I

[01:36:03] Madi: Will always worry no but um I don't

[01:36:07] Jacob: Know no like there's a nights where I can't get to sleep no I'll lay there and worry about like some I said two years ago or what's gonna happen at work tomorrow you know yeah so though in the know just the

[01:36:21] Madi: Focus what was the link you shared of the breathing do you but I think it was

[01:36:27] Jacob: I think that's the four seven eight yeah yeah we have to heal or something that's a TED talk yeah yes it was a talk but mine was like the five and five I think no like fire in do you knows blow out

[01:36:39] Madi: Five seconds for your mouth yeah that's create a second change then like after you start doing it no you're like oh my gosh I was so focused on like counting that number that I'm like I feel

[01:36:50] Jacob: Okay right now it's just like a matter of like you know changing your mindset

[01:36:55] Madi: Or what your know the direction but I'm

[01:36:58] Jacob: Totally into their breathing techniques you know you know and I know you know I know you and Jacy talked about it the meditation I always feel like I'm doing it wrong but is there a wrong way to do it there's not a wrong way doing if you're doing it yeah so you've never tried it you have to try it but keep trying it keep trying I think every day biggest thing what I always for me in meditation like that's of course like the act of doing it like if you just do it that's a good percentage but

[01:37:24] Jacob: So when you're sitting there okay ten minutes I got to sit here I'm focus on my breath yeah all that it takes is as you're doing it and having I meditate every day when daily meditator it still happens to me every day I'm sitting here and I'm focusing on my breath and I'm focusing on whatever **** weird whale sounds I put on my computer or whatever like sounds in the room and then you know sure enough within a within a few seconds within a minute some days I'm thinking about like laundry and what I need to do later and all these things but once you realize you're thinking about those things and you're like oh yeah you bring yourself back to the breaths that right there that moment right there is a bicep curl yes you getting buff baby you get buff and it's a it's training your and it allows me to be more forgiving

[01:38:05] Jacob: With myself like sometimes because I'll be obsessed we be like looping a thought looping a thought and then once I realized that I'm looping it instead of for a while with my depression I would realize that I've been limping or think about some crazy stuff and then I would get mad at myself like dude you just you just wasted time like aha oh gosh but now I don't have that I have that like oh okay man you're just think about that thing let's carrot let's get present right now it's about you but you know like in the beginning you know you think like you don't people suggest that and you're like don't okay you know Captain Obvious like that doesn't work for everybody no but I think it can you know if you really give effort I really think you can it's hard to see that it can when you're like at your very dark moment yeah but a lot of times the breath work can pull you out of that dark moment to get you to like okay well I'm not just looping that same exact thought yeah now let's yeah Tony Robbins always says change your state before you try to you know a lot of times we have problems that come up

[01:39:06] Jacob: We have things that come up and we just try to put them in the we try to stand in the boxing ring we try to fight those problems while we're stressed out but a lot of times the best thing you could do is say I'm not in the best state to handle this right now so let's just work on getting in a nice state and then I'll have reassessment this conversation floating around we're getting a little bit up here in time was there anything that you wanted to make sure the listeners knew of the chunk Aaron loved podcast Matty be you you be you I like that educate you got something share know share it you know there's something that needs to know no don't talk to respond listen learn yeah beautiful be you can't like I'm gonna make you write be you on the wall cuz I don't know if there's be you anywhere on that wall know me make it sure idea tune like that live on and be yourself oh yeah it's a Macklemore quote I love

[01:40:06] Madi: Matty my shoulder I can **** wasn't necessarily because Macklemore but he sung it sung it so he's suck he's on dick I'm just he said it so I like that I still like it's good quote to live by yeah I like Macklemore I think finding quotes you know I'm big on quotes and I know that an Instagram makes quotes kind of like manat they could just see him all the time but I've truly believed that you give things power like you like you if a quote means something truly to you can just you could take it and put it in your heart and carried around and it can be powerful you know so

[01:40:40] Jacob: Madi I really appreciate you I really appreciate the conversation it was cool to like meet someone who creates and sees the world through beautiful lenses I just I love like the fact that you

[01:40:53] Madi: Said I don't see anybody has a stranger like what's a stranger it's just like this perfect thing I'm like oh man that's so cool I feel honored that you would come and explain your life to me and chat it out and I'm grateful

[01:41:05] Jacob: That you listen to the podcast too I think that's always cool to me like I don't want I don't want to be like one of those it's like yeah always the first to like or comment or share yeah the next no but like literally as soon as I'm done with a podcast I'm like alright next oh yeah like I'm always ready no you can't dish him out fast know that but I feel like there's so much info if my if no one relates to mine don't really do another episode I hope so like there's no is something you know from each oh yeah each episode that I can take a note from it's so cool and I don't know some of these people and some of them I thought I knew but really got to know from their episode and it's just taking that forward and I like it

[01:41:48] Madi: Thank you for sharing your you're crazy

[01:41:54] Jacob: Brain and your crazy ideas that know a lot of us can really relate to Wow well

[01:42:00] Madi: Thank you for listening Madi all right

[01:42:02] Jacob: Listeners have a good rest of you of your day please drink some water and please just be you have a good one

[01:42:11] Madi: Listen my bros we're quarantined right now fear is a little high there's places in our body that are little tense we've

[01:42:19] Outro: Been sitting more than usual we've been thinking about weird stuff more than usual don't forget to stretch don't forget to drink water don't forget to go easy on yourself relax your shoulders right at this moment right now and just look around you're safe

[01:42:32] Madi: Everything's fine at this moment you're going to handle what comes next with ease with valor with courage with

[01:42:40] Jacob: Bravery though there's uncertainty

[01:42:43] Madi: There's also there's also love and fake

[01:42:46] Outro: In hope and in community so just Remember your surroundings relax do what you need to do don't forget to stretch water all that take care of yourselves Pay attention to how much content you're consuming we are inside there's a lot to do there's a lot to consume on the internet you could listen to all my podcasts all day you can to somebody else podcasts all day but sometimes you got to take a break go outside and get some fresh air stay six feet away from people but get some fresh air live your life take care of yourself