Episode 035 with Ryan Reed - Hope, Ambition, Fortitude, Unlimited Beliefs, Putting Yourself On, Creating Hip-Hop, Producing Music and Reaching For Greatness

[00:00:06] Intro: Hello and welcome to the Junkyard Love what is cracking my brows welcome to the Junkyard Love Podcast this is Jacob Rhines just letting you know that this episode was recorded kind of about a month ago before it's being posted I had plans for

[00:00:45] Intro: A lot of these upcoming episodes to edit Them while I was traveling and in hotel rooms and these sort of things so I had just recorded a ton right before I was about to leave and then the coronavirus hit so I'm just back logged in I haven't um totally caught up so I am I am just trying to make sure I post that they were not very recent so this was a little over a month old but it's a brand new to your year so enjoy this episode of Ryan Reed before we get going I'm gonna give a recommendation the recommendation today is not in the form of a book or a TED talk because Ryan and I give a ton of book recommendations later on in this podcast so stay tuned for that but um also let's just recommend The Good Place on Netflix that's just a TV show on Netflix it's about philosophy moral philosophy it's quite wonderful and stretch your mind a little bit check it out on Netflix The Good Place let's get going me Ryan Reed HAFLife ent let's go eat checking microphone chick alright Ryan Reed you beautiful man damn you Welcome to the Junkyard Love Podcast

[00:01:53] Jacob: How are you today my friend specifically specifically today man I was your morning and everything

[00:01:54] Ryan: Today's a little stressed yeah we had a great

[00:02:05] Jacob: Weekend we on Friday we performed at an

[00:02:08] Ryan: All-ages show in Gresham which is cool

[00:02:12] Jacob: It was alright we're trying to expand more and so the all-ages thing just because you know we need to expand our demographic and you know to be honest that's a lot of the younger folk they determine what's next and what's cool yeah I can't forget about that so we've been trying to endeavor into all ages but the hard part too is that if the all-ages kids are just there to like turn up and listen to music that they know like hake we just have the box by roddy rich on repeat the whole night they did okay with that okay wrong is a bot but yeah so then you're like yeah but check out what we're doing and they're like yeah but like you bring the box back you don't I mean so they want to show off the dance move they practice in private bro right exactly so

[00:02:58] Ryan: Been diving into that which we can get into a little more after I answer the first question and then Saturday we had

[00:03:05] Jacob: A comedy show Max had his first like stand-up comedy show that wasn't revolved around that wasn't part of like

[00:03:14] Ryan: A HAFLife event and that went amazing

[00:03:17] Jacob: He killed that super proud of him and the way that he's been pursuing that ambition of his and so we had that on Saturday that went really dope Sunday we filmed a new music video for Rula Delgado for the song called the one which is available on all streaming platforms the one by Roulet Delgado it's really good as our MB and he's got some R&B chops and that song is incredible it dropped on Valentine's Day because the one you know of course so we filmed that and then so then it was just like this busy weekend and then I woke up today and like a bunch of messages and stuff hit me and it was like oh my god I have so much unfinished

[00:03:54] Ryan: Business I have so much just like the work still comes right so I kind of woke up from this like amazing haze cuz when you start to do like multiple shows in a row and stuff mentally you're like oh this is the life and then you have to like wake back up to reality right and remember all the business side of things that have not been done your Monday still comes bro money still comes man and so there's just so much stuff to do and so that's where I woke up I woke up very busy minded today okay but maybe

[00:04:22] Jacob: That'll help with the conversation yeah I'm not to be too erratic we got hey bro I'll rub off on you if you art we'll both be alright I mean if people are listening this podcast they know things go erratically if one's right well I mean they follow in my brain here so exactly so we can just combine our

[00:04:38] Ryan: Crazy mazes and we'll just we'll just be two mice in the maze yeah I know cheese

[00:04:44] Jacob: Together you know speaking of - I have an interesting fact about - to teach you to tell you about - gosh when they called - lemierre's - lemierre's it's a everybody has them they're like I'm gonna totally butcher this fact now essentially here's the fact I was listening to Brett Weinstein and Eric Weinstein they're brothers and they study like just everything biology and economics and mathematics and just everything there are some professors essentially with mice they've learned that a lot of the mice that we've been testing on for like America just like cosmetics food

[00:05:17] Ryan: Supplements like everything from pretty much this one factory of my so this one place in the United States and which is

[00:05:26] Jacob: Like cool that's great you know we have things that they have it probably down there they probably the best the best but right what happens is after like

[00:05:32] Ryan: Eight months or something they kill them - or after eight months like essentially they've made these like these are like a superhuman sort of mice or a super mice that don't live because we only test products on mice that are under eight months old or something okay and so essentially these mice over the years because they're just built as like cosmetic testing mice or whatever it is they have like grown into like a different type of mice that died after eight months are they whatever so they have their telomeres I'm

[00:06:00] Jacob: Saying them incorrectly which is what we test like this is like our similarities between them and mice in humans so what I'm rounding out is we have been testing on mice thinking that they're representing humans in the long term the longevity of a human lifetime but we're actually like testing it on mice that would be representing like ages 1 to 30 right yeah so would that wouldn't you

[00:06:23] Ryan: Also not want to condition these super mice because then wouldn't that almost make everything a little bit bias yes

[00:06:31] Jacob: Like you're not you know because they're gonna grow genetically they're gonna start maybe being like less affected by certain thing yes so wouldn't we be getting botched yes that's what's happened so this is like the chickens this is like big a chicken yeah like they don't even hardly lay most of time they don't even have to use hormones anymore because selective breeding has

[00:06:55] Ryan: Made it to where they live

[00:06:57] Jacob: Those weeks - that's so fast though if you think about it like in like terms of like just evolution oh they did that so quickly to the baby and in me like if your baby was like 800 pounds like that oh yeah like they're so they die at

[00:07:12] Ryan: Six weeks they're butchered at six weeks so they after they've been selective breeding till they're so that they're full-grown by like six weeks and like they can't even hardly walk you know legs came to support them their legs are broken they're having heart attacks like you'll have a lot of them died due to heart attacks but big chicken man they'll just you know they pay you based on they pay these farms based on how big they are and how many big ones not how well did

[00:07:37] Jacob: You treat these chickens up until the process of circle of life here you know have you seen okay you should watch some members Super Size Me yeah okay so Super Size Me 2 came out nobody knew about it because he ended up being on the wrong side of the meat to movement and yeah like right before Super Size Me 2 was this was supposed to drop so but regardless still the name in the clintons on that right exactly regardless of how you feel about him though it was very intriguing because basically what he doesn't Super Size Me too is he's like I'm gonna start a fast-food restaurant and then it shows

[00:08:09] Ryan: The whole process from getting the

[00:08:11] Jacob: Chicks all the way to like the marketing schemes and yeah ok what was it like was it liked it was it did he showed us how gross and like you know like hey man it all is all of the secrets and like he calls at one point this is one little tidbit about it he's like so how much free-range do they need to be for me to be able to put on my package free-range and it's like it's like well as long as

[00:08:36] Ryan: They have like access to outdoors if

[00:08:39] Jacob: They want so he literally puts like this

[00:08:42] Ryan: Like maybe three square feet like addition to the end oh yeah the end of the fungus hits a **** wall with a hammer and open so there's like this three square foot area where if they

[00:08:55] Jacob: Want to the communal sunlight free range

[00:08:58] Ryan: He exposes everything dude that's what we have if you if you go to the supermarket you go to the store you go anywhere a gas station and you like read these things what we read is we're like oh low in calories or low fat or low

[00:09:10] Jacob: Whatever like it do these things and we think oh those are good indicators of I should buy that's good for me that's not gonna be I know that's better than McDonald's but like a lot of the times a lot of these indicators that they put are just **** like the free-range psychological yeah they're playing with this man like you know what my favorite one is what's that because there's a lot that are like you know there's a lot that you're like okay sure but one of my favorites is farm-raised arm race okay yeah they'll literally put that as a tag like farm-raised and you're like where else doesn't matter

[00:09:44] Ryan: How terrible the conditions are it's still called a farm for that too will be

[00:09:51] Jacob: The quotes farm right like more like hey can you pick me up some like good like not that none of that shitty chicken just give me some like good okay so farm raised yes sweet home alabama' right you know can we go me there's an episode of the show Portlandia which is this drastically have you seen that one essentially they go and they get like they're going to get breakfast and they're like so the eggs are the chickens that lay the eggs cruelty free or whatever and the waitress is like you know let me double check and she goes back and get some info about the chickens and comes back and like I don't know like were they are they treated well before they arrived like it and then it's essentially the whole episode of Portlandia as them like going to this farm and they're like farm for like don't they like live on the farm or something to experience it because it feels like a combine or something like oh yeah like the

[00:10:49] Jacob: Scene ends they go back to the restaurant or something I think and they're like oh yeah I think we'll go with this like you like we made our decision it's like that's the thing is you know we have so many there's so many trickle downs in the way that like our economics work the way that our world works it's so hard to know like like we what you want is you want to be able to read the package and trust that like your government trusts these companies are like this is good for you or this is bad for you or like eat this much of this thing don't eat whole package or whatever but like instead we have trick words you know right trick words and so you would actually really enjoy and any who is listening to this podcast and also is you know fascinate wait I should say if you don't want to live ignorant ly blissful about food don't

[00:11:32] Jacob: Watch it but if you are curious about that information definitely watch Super Size Me - because they even talk about like the tag lines and everything you know so he's like and I won't spoil the ending but you know they talk about the fact that because there's actually a fun twist but they actually talk about like oh like if we put the word fresh next to went

[00:11:53] Ryan: Lettuce really big with like a juicy

[00:11:56] Jacob: Tomato it's gonna seem like we've made

[00:12:00] Ryan: These large advances in making our fast

[00:12:04] Jacob: Food more health right and it's all a bunch of shenanigans and then you know he basically based on the conditions of his chickens he calls up

[00:12:14] Ryan: I forget which company deals with you know like certified organic and all that good stuff right in the US FDA the FDA and I don't said the USA DEA and oh

[00:12:25] Jacob: That's all right but he calls them up and he's like okay so what all categories am i okay to say on my

[00:12:35] Ryan: Package like so they go through and they're like alright so okay you could say no hormones that's fine you could say antibiotic free you can't do certified organic because there was trace amounts of chicken in your feed so

[00:12:48] Jacob: You have cannibal chicken but the free-range one got me because he literally makes this like little fence and he's like free-range farm raised dude that's how it is it's you know it's a bunch of people we have laws in place is the thing like we have laws in place a lot of them should be like Rhian spected of course but they're like people are like I'm going it I'm not breaking the law my hands are in the air it's like dude you know what you're doing though you know what's going on right yeah they don't care then the other thing she'll be talking to sideways or straight in oh yeah oh it sounds yeah it goes straight up where you know who that's folder have like a

[00:13:27] Ryan: Fuller's Murrah

[00:13:30] Jacob: So the other thing that was that was interesting was oh shoot I got so caught up in the tonality of my voice it makes a dramatic difference it was very like high frequency you know it's very laughs like I should be more on top of that so hey listener if you can if you just heard the first few minutes of Ryan's voice not as thin and ladylike as he sounds right this is the real him this I

[00:13:53] Ryan: Had him talking at different mic types you talking to like different areas of the mo I'm Ryan Reed who are on the junkie

[00:14:00] Jacob: Little podcast shoot was gonna say um

[00:14:04] Ryan: Anyway Super Size Me zoom yeah dude I also in that same area I recommend Shaylee and I just watched couple days ago it's called that sugar film and it

[00:14:14] Jacob: Is along the same lines essentially this dude he eats super healthy he's in he's a from Australia he eats really healthy he cut out sugar long years ago but he has a baby on the way and so he's like I want to know like what's like I gotta like know what should I feed my baby like he was all stressed about it whatever so he's decided to go on like a typical like what's a typical person's diet like not worrying about sugar like he doesn't care about sugar he's not he's not watching out for it and it turns out to be like it was like 40 grams of sugar or something that people edia every day and so he followed his like two months progress yeah there's a surprise I'm more it might have been more I could be totally awful than sugars and everything well so that's the thing is he did 60 days of so this is someone for who like eats super healthy does not intake sugar and then he went to just eating crate like every single day that much sugar did it for 60 days any follow his progress I came to total weight he was doing blood tests like all these things kind like Super Size Me and

[00:15:11] Ryan: Essentially what he what he showed is

[00:15:13] Jacob: Like the trickery to of he didn't eat like soda and candy and ice cream like he had none of that like that was an option he only ate like healthy things so like he would buy like slimfast you know like a low calorie or low fat like he only ate the healthy stuff that they sell us and he also he went from Australia hated it there for the first half came to America and then he did it like for the next 30 days he did it there he said he had more difficulty eating healthy and keeping under his allotted grams of sugar every day in America that it was even over there that doesn't surprise me oh yeah and so it did it essentially what I got which anything I got out of it was just more reiteration of just like the **** of

[00:15:54] Ryan: The Lying of like this is healthy

[00:15:57] Jacob: For you and it's sad to me that we have people with cancer that seems so mysterious and we have people with all these things and all these illnesses that are just being compounded by people in companies lying to them you know right if it's healthy like you know what that **** means healthy like don't hurt you're hurting this person you know right yeah we don't care dude it's something care is money yeah right that's the way the world goes out for is all the sugar alternatives right Oh sucralose man right brother shame all that they showed a good example of like what that stuff does inside your body what do we don't process it and it's like right Blaine okay so I feel like we're low-key like segue into it did it work did it did so you know because that's something that's made a big change for me too with

[00:16:45] Ryan: My health and we could get into that

[00:16:46] Jacob: Right now if you want I would love to get into Ryan tell me about your health you had some changes in your house lately yes so because you know that reminds me of the whole carb thing to people forget that carbs or sugars and like they have to be treated the same so last January

[00:17:02] Ryan: Whoo all right so for those that are

[00:17:05] Jacob: Listening it's probably March now and if you don't know I had a huge change in my

[00:17:11] Ryan: Health in January of 2020 and this is

[00:17:14] Jacob: The first time publicly talking about it I didn't want to make a big deal about it especially when I was in the hospital I'm not the guy that's like you know I'm no offense to the people that do I just I don't like to put everything on social media like if I didn't have a music and entertainment company or a had do post on social media Tom I wouldn't like just me personally I just don't like to spend a lot of time like posting and doing

[00:17:40] Ryan: The social media game but unfortunately

[00:17:42] Jacob: I have to for my company right for

[00:17:44] Ryan: HAFLife Entertainment so I didn't say anything on social media I didn't want to I didn't want a bunch of people to know in fact my parents didn't even know until I had it already handled but

[00:17:54] Jacob: January of 2020 I so I basically I started to get really

[00:18:01] Ryan: Weak and really sick I started to feel

[00:18:05] Jacob: Dehydrated constantly at all times and I

[00:18:10] Ryan: Started drinking water because I was always thirsty and I tried to overcompensate for that but I was drinking all this water but I was also peeing like 30 times a day like nothing was retaining I'm just I'm taking in unlimited liquids and I'm peeing them right back out this is going on for how long was it till you die Quinta it was like two weeks but it wasn't just that it was the fact that I lost like I'm for those that know me I don't have a lot of body fat right I've always had trouble gaining weight and even gaining muscle and I never knew why I lost 12 pounds within two weeks and at the time I was

[00:18:48] Jacob: Only like you know a buck forty ish so like I dipped down I started to monitor my weight every morning because I was like this isn't right like I stopped I stopped drinking ice because I was doing a cleanse anyway like who knew you knew me you know but like I usually do that like every few months Chris and I will take like a couple weeks here or like a month here like we'll just do little like it alcohol cleanses anyway yeah we do same thing right and so it was like

[00:19:21] Ryan: You get over that first five days when you start to of not drinking and you get past like the crappy part of you know getting rid of alcohol and then you start to feel better then also in your Energy's back getting up earlier in the morning you're more hungry all this stuff I was less hungry less energy losing weight I start monitoring every day and every day I'm waking up lighter and I'm like this is nuts

[00:19:43] Jacob: I had you know I'm trying to work and my muscles are weak I don't have energy and like once I started dipping into like the 120s I'm like something is very

[00:19:53] Ryan: Wrong I haven't been this light since I was cutting weight on purpose and for wrestling in high school and that's what it felt like yeah that's small right like it felt

[00:20:03] Jacob: Like I was cutting weight and I looked you know small I would shriveling up like a raisin and I was being I was being stubborn and I was like I don't know like I was monitored a couple more days and then Chris that was like not like we're going in you know he's gonna keep saying couple more days exactly cuz I you know just being at the stubborn dude that I am so she was like dr. unibrow right exactly you know I mean you're like nah stomach bug we'll get over it right so but then I started I started googling the I feel I got my symptoms went up and I was like I think I know what this is and so I went into a like a walk-in like a Urgent Care because I didn't have insurance at the time and I walk into an urgent care and I'm like I need to be tested for diabetes and they're like we don't do that here and I'm like that's weird okay can you point to where they did I helped and so they're like yeah so uh oh it's just you has this walk-in clinic that you could go to and I'm like oh cool so we go to that and I'm like

[00:21:11] Jacob: Hey I need to be tested for diabetes they take my blood sugar and my urine and they're like you need to go to the emergency room like my blood sugar

[00:21:19] Ryan: Wouldn't even read on their device it just said hi it was just all red and it said hi she says so yes so I go into the

[00:21:31] Jacob: Hospital I get admitted and they're like yeah we know what to do and obviously I

[00:21:37] Ryan: Went through like three IV bags and like

[00:21:42] Jacob: Three saline solutions or whatever and they're like I we're gonna need to monitor you wanting to get you on insulin we're gonna take a bunch of blood tests but you are probably a diabetic and I'm like okay so we so I

[00:21:58] Ryan: Ended up staying there for four days but

[00:22:01] Jacob: They knew like day one right now it's gonna be diabetic they wanted to prove it with the blood test and why not that would take a couple days but they pretty much knew I knew it all just like it's pretty cut and dry when like your symptoms look like that and so sure enough I am a type 1 diabetic not even type - that's like based around diet and stuff my pancreas officially does not work anymore which actually made a lot of things make sense over the last like three to four years of why I was slowly

[00:22:34] Ryan: Losing muscle mass and like not being able to gain weight gain muscle I felt sluggish for years so it's something you've had like or it's been coming on so basically what it is

[00:22:46] Jacob: Is that my pancreas slowly stopped

[00:22:49] Ryan: Producing insulin but at a slow rate and then what I learned is that I ended up

[00:22:56] Jacob: Going into what's called ketoacidosis so

[00:22:58] Ryan: For if you don't know how insulin works

[00:23:02] Jacob: Your pancreas creates insulin and what

[00:23:05] Ryan: Insulins main job is to take the

[00:23:08] Jacob: Sugar out of your blood and it's the gatekeeper to getting it into your cells so with no insulin exactly yeah

[00:23:16] Ryan: Who was the blind man that rode you across the river Styx you'd have to in Creek mythology you'd have to toss them a couple coins to get you to hell and that's why or to the underworld that's why they put two coins over your eyes so you can give them to the boat man so you can take it in the world so basically that's insulin and

[00:23:37] Jacob: Without that your blood becomes so

[00:23:41] Ryan: Just kind of clogged up with sugar and then your cells think that you're starving like your cells are like we're not getting any sugar here we're legit starving so they start to slowly eat your fat and if you're somebody like me who doesn't have fat it starts to slowly eat your muscles after you don't have any muscle left it starts to eat your organs and so like ketoacidosis is basically where your cells are like I we've had it we're going full in and then they basically start to have like a buffet on your body and so that so it was it was a process that now makes so much sense that my insulin rate was

[00:24:19] Jacob: Declining over the years and then finally it was just done and that's why I went into ketoacidosis and he was like it's a good thing that my girlfriend wasn't gonna let me keep me and stubborn because he was like it was only a matter of days before you went into a dive like a coma I would have went into like a ketoacidosis coma great no not great and so honest kidding we have girls to save our life I know right we're so **** helpless sometimes they're like yo males are the alpha

[00:24:56] Ryan: Species they're the alpha sex nope yeah we would all kill these start kill each other kill ourselves barbaric we can't take care of ourselves no we can't we really can't like she is

[00:25:08] Jacob: Seriously she is she's the greatest thing in my life she's my rock I would die without her she'll always be my best friend no

[00:25:17] Ryan: Matter what but so thanks to her I

[00:25:21] Jacob: Didn't go into a coma but we started getting on insulin immediately in the hospital you know we went through the you know a bunch of IV and I started to feel better immediately yeah and basically the reason that they had to keep me forage days is because they can't they have to figure out what insulin rate like levels like how many

[00:25:43] Ryan: Units per day like works best with your body because everybody needs different levels and they can't just like hump you with all of them right away so if they start with X amount and if that doesn't work then they need to pump it up and monitor firday bump it up and monitor you for a day and tell your addict come fluent especially since you were pretty skinny going in there too so right you're just by changing as you're as you're getting healthier right of course in a couple days exactly and so we ended

[00:26:10] Jacob: Up dialing it in I take a long-acting

[00:26:13] Ryan: 24-hour insulin every night and then I

[00:26:16] Jacob: Have to take short-term insulin before each big meal depending on how many carbs have and so that's what kind of brought it up that note that I made earlier about the carbs and the sugars is that they're interchangeable with diabetes like your body treats carbs and sugars the same and so like I'm actually counting my carbs to determine how many units of insulin I need to take before that meal to insure that I can get

[00:26:42] Ryan: Whatever sugar that I'm about to intake from my blood to my cells and make sure

[00:26:48] Jacob: That my body's feeding and so when you take your when you take your nightly one this is like a shot it's a yeah it's so I have the Pens so basically it's like a twist like I it has X amount of units in it when I twist how many units I need and then I have like one use needles Oh perfect I just screw on a one use needle put it into my belly yeah how is that bad how have you been adjusting to that part's fine I have to take them everywhere I got a you know taken before meals I got to make sure that I don't forget at night like it's a pain like you know living with diabetes is going to change your entire life right it has but that part's not too bad the annoying part is the blood sugar like pull it out my thing putting a reader chip in my

[00:27:33] Ryan: Blood sugar monitor poking my finger

[00:27:36] Jacob: Like you know that part's annoying but I did get approved for one of those constant glucose monitors little sip of my hip and then I'll read off on my phone so wait does it does it stab you on your hip too or yeah like you put like a

[00:27:50] Ryan: Needle a new needle in every two weeks

[00:27:53] Jacob: Okay and then it's on there with like sports tape basically like heavy-duty medical tape and then you take your transmitter and hook it up to that so you'll keep the same transmitter where I have a different needle every two weeks for sanitary reasons that'd be great to have yes I was reading my blood sugar off my phone especially when I'm out you know like doing shows and things like that I don't want to like you know and then I'll just make sure to have my insulin with me so I could still take insulin yeah and then also I feel like just making fat beats with like a poked finger we're just suck you know what I mean you know what the technology of these nano needles is it a nano needle that it does how's it feel as their it like you feel like a little just hook and as long as you like I do the sides and not the actual like mmm flat top yeah it doesn't bother with things I'm doing let's do the sides and you just keep rotating fingers there yeah but now I won't have to do that near as much so that's that I now I'm up to a hundred

[00:28:46] Jacob: And fifty pounds great idea so I've gained like you know 25 pounds from when I was at my lowest when I went into the hospital whoo and I feel incredible this

[00:28:57] Ryan: Is the healthiest I've felt in years you know I thought my lack of energy was just like I guess this is being an adult is just like being tired all that I'm over that sentence promising I'm saying it near me like man like until your until you're **** 80 years old you're like this is what I guess I'm getting old now man right just accepting the fact that you're feeling crappy when you're 24 that ain't right man right there's going to be something wrong right and so for me it took all of that to realize it but now that I am on regular insulin and my body is working like a normal human being I feel great my energy has skyrocketed

[00:29:32] Jacob: Like just like so many little my muscles feel dense again you know not that I'm the strongest dude but like they actually feel my muscles feel like muscles you know what I mean it's crazy

[00:29:45] Ryan: So it's just it's really changed my

[00:29:48] Jacob: Entire life for the better even though

[00:29:50] Ryan: Yeah it can definitely be a pain in the ass yeah I mean so it's a whole new like just your day-to-day obviously is different what's the house like the mental shift been like obviously it's like a scary moment like it's like oh **** like this is my health like no a lot of times these sort of things he kind of like wake us up to like just like yeah I do want to take care of my body those sorts right so I don't know have you had any like mental shifts at all through it yeah so for one just being

[00:30:15] Jacob: Excited to feel good and not always wandering in the back of my head if there's something late there was definitely a weight off of my shoulders because like I said I knew that there was something funky for years right right and so that's a good way to off of my shoulders so there's that and then with this new energy I just feel more ambitious than I was before I feel like

[00:30:36] Ryan: My work ethic has increased once again and I always tried to pride myself on having a consistent strong work ethic so to see that like on it's just been really inspiring you know I mean and like yeah like it's a big deal and a huge change in my life but I was so positive the entire time like I'm it takes a lot to get me down like we all

[00:30:59] Jacob: Have our rough days and everything but like I really have put a lot of effort into trying to be as positive as I can

[00:31:08] Ryan: And like recognizing that the way I want to feel is on me like I have the power

[00:31:14] Jacob: To you know affect my

[00:31:17] Ryan: Motions I am NOT a creature of circumstance but rather a creator of circumstance and I you know I've worked really hard to take my own mentality into my own mind I'm not saying that just dis credits you know like mental illness and things like that I'm not saying that at all I'm just saying when I go I have a choice where I don't need to be subject to the

[00:31:38] Jacob: Energies around me and so that has just

[00:31:41] Ryan: Increased tenfold and I was super positive through the entire thing I learned everything I needed to learn ASAP my endocrinologist and my

[00:31:51] Jacob: Diabetes specialist were like damn I like you got it out you're good to go you're accepting the fate yeah exactly well because here's the deal here's the deal um you know I don't want to keep hogging the mic the whole time but no key pocket image you have plenty of room

[00:32:06] Ryan: Thank you but whether like I have diabetes I'm a **** diabetic whether I want to be in a crappy mood about it or whether I want to take it by the balls and figure out how to live the best life that I can or anywhere in the middle of that scale it doesn't change the fact that I have this disease yep so why on earth would I let myself be beat up over it day in and day out when I can just

[00:32:35] Jacob: Make the changes I need to feel great and then just attack life even harder you're able to run you're able to see things as and this is something that not a lot of people haven't or they don't have until they realize they don't have it sometimes that's enough to like kind of wake it up the in life there's things

[00:32:55] Ryan: That happen and we think that's exactly my reaction to that thing that happens is exactly what happens all right when my what life actually is there's a thing that happened and then there's your reaction to it right two entirely separate things and you've always liked it obviously this is a great example of who you are as a person like you were positive through this dude tell me about where you got this positive mentality from like what you your belief in yourself you're like wow this is life like I'm going next like you have this like just undefeatable attitude I mean undefeatable I can think that's best word I can think of like there's nothing I like that where did this come from tell me about the birth of this side of you uh just losing yes like I feel I feel like I've

[00:33:43] Jacob: Always been ambitious I've always felt

[00:33:47] Ryan: Like I had a leadership attitude and

[00:33:51] Jacob: Mentality and I always knew that I

[00:33:53] Ryan: Wanted to do something impactful with my life right like that much I feel like I've always known I always felt like there was something in me that I just

[00:34:04] Jacob: Needed to figure out how to harness and and figure out how to use it but I also didn't know where it was supposed to come from but I've been competitive my entire life I used to race motocross when I was in elementary school punctured my lung doing that with the dorm Becker's that's how we did that benefit for her you know between

[00:34:26] Ryan: Wrestling you know and back in high

[00:34:30] Jacob: School like your sport is the most nothing else matters in the world besides that sport right and so like my upsets with like State and things like that like there was a lot of like notions you know that I was given that

[00:34:43] Ryan: Like hey you're you have greatness in you but you need to figure out how to properly harness it use it and and where to put it and so like I was always searching for where that greatness was supposed to be but then always coming up short and always somehow getting **** on yeah and so then

[00:35:03] Jacob: With the whole music thing like I fell in love with music you know I mean granted I used to I used to take guitar lessons in elementary school and you know I thought I was like max explained you know I thought I was gonna be in a rock band - it wasn't a Christian one like I've been in a rock made myself I know how it goes I was in the black man Tanner renegade no that's better than Road to Christ or what was that yours no that was Max's remember I always thinking his was uncle sugar no those first rap name okay his elementary school a Christian band was road to Christ yeah okay so road to Christ and Uncle sure guys want to make sure that any listeners don't forget these things about Max Weber yeah yeah so you know but then like I kind of fell out of music throughout middle school until high school I started to get back into it out of just a joke and I had no idea what I was gonna do outside of school honestly I was gonna I

[00:36:00] Jacob: Was gonna join the Marines like how everything in life made me feel like if you put your mind to it you can be a badass and I was like I'll just go be a badass I'll just go like in all those fails I'll just still be the badass I'll just go kill people I don't see what I'm a trained killer and then you know and then it'll be smooth sailing from there

[00:36:19] Ryan: Still think about that option every now and then too late now especially I don't think they'll let me another I'm diabetic yeah to it on a potty it's like we listen to this podcast it seems that you lied about having diabetes exactly yeah

[00:36:32] Jacob: So that's something about that from time to time but I fell into music accidentally and then you know my path through music has redefined me as a human it's allowed me to not only find my passions artistically and figure out that I am an artistic human but also has

[00:36:47] Ryan: Helped redefine like my leadership qualities and what I feel like I can do with business because then I started to discover that I actually have a knack

[00:36:55] Jacob: For you know being an entrepreneur and then leading a business an independent you know company right and my dad is one of the you know best businessmen that I know one of the best men that I know in general like my dad is such just a started from the bottom built himself up from like you know

[00:37:17] Ryan: Being from a poor broken home to working

[00:37:23] Jacob: From the machine shop to you know like stay he stayed in the same industry almost his entire life and went from you

[00:37:30] Ryan: Know machine shop worker to VP of Sales

[00:37:33] Jacob: For like multiple states you know what I mean and so he's just a self-made human and so like that's inspirate that was always inspiration to me and pushed me but also me and him would butt heads a lot because I'm not following the family path you know what I mean like I'm taking my own path to my own success but it's also in the music industry and how **** unrealistic is that right there's no that caused so much like you know

[00:38:02] Ryan: Trouble between us and my family and

[00:38:06] Jacob: Like me my parents that really had like a rocky relationship for a lot of years a lot of that you know on my part and you know so but now that they've seen

[00:38:15] Ryan: The perseverance and the fact that I'm not gonna take no for an answer right now they're like all right

[00:38:23] Jacob: Like I guess I guess you really are gonna do this and so we've been able to rekindle our relationship which is obviously important yeah I saw over the last few shows it's good to see em your dad got me a beard yeah I love when another man buys me a beer like that's truthfully that's like man thank you I know it's a beer but it's right it's such a nice it's like a respect thing yes I respect you it's social like it's a head not like right cool right it's cool agreed so you know as far as like the unbeatable attitude like I feel like obviously I've

[00:38:56] Ryan: Got a lot of inspiration for that seeing my father's story and being a part of my father's story but then also wanting to prove that I can that I can pave my own path in a completely different direction and still like I always feel like to

[00:39:11] Jacob: Certain extent I have something to prove to that man you know I mean about me is my own man right and so that's probably been one of the bigger things is always feeling like I needed to prove myself to him and still do but where was that

[00:39:25] Ryan: Going to fall into so like it happened to fall into music and HAFLife and the business and all that you know what I mean and all of my artistic endeavors but because of all that and like losing

[00:39:37] Jacob: Myself and having to refine myself and

[00:39:40] Ryan: Like going off to college and my whole

[00:39:44] Jacob: Like you know my whole party phase and my whole drug phase and like all you know like when **** was getting really dark and then coming back out of that and then realizing that I have to grow up and if I'm going to actually do

[00:39:58] Ryan: All these things that I say I'm going to I need to grow up and be a **** man and so because I feel like I went through that darkness by myself and transitioned out of some pretty low points in my life that since I've come

[00:40:12] Jacob: From that what like nothing in this

[00:40:16] Ryan: Earth can **** stop me rarely not even diabetes kids hey you don't I thought you were ready for die but like diabetes just came at you as you're running and you're just like I don't see you let me just put your hand up when you just said all right well that's the thing I am in like so glad that it happened now yeah not when I was like 20 really you

[00:40:33] Jacob: Think you would have just ignored it at 20 or just holiday night past it and a piece of **** about it yeah or victim maybe you know that's an easy place to be when we have especially with health scares you know it's a dude when things come up and it's like hey you've got to drastically change everything about you like all the sudden I mean the last thing you want to do is drastically change everything about you right like dude nobody wants to dress to change everything about themselves but sometimes health says you **** got it and a lot of times you can you can sit on the ground and wallow for quite a while you know and we all have our own ways of doing I've had my own ways of doing it in certain areas it's easy

[00:41:08] Ryan: To be the victim right but dude I

[00:41:11] Jacob: Think you're a good example of training yourself man it's like you haven't always been this way it's like you have this unstoppable attitude but there's also areas where you're like oh this would happen not too long ago I would have been strong enough so having this constant like believing in yourself every day in

[00:41:30] Ryan: Some sort of ways leads yourself to when you have something like a real health thing come out you run ready for you're strong for it you didn't even have to like wallow for ten weeks and then like say okay now I'm gonna deal with it

[00:41:40] Jacob: Right you know you're able to face it head-on when you were like back in the day when you're going through like high school sports and stuff like how did

[00:41:50] Ryan: That how did those defeats like shape you to be because you were saying that like you took you took it kind of harder back then like you didn't do you took it more seriously lose in a wrestling match it's tough but now it's like it doesn't seem like failure is anything to you like the there is a progression from who you were then to know well also I mean a

[00:42:09] Jacob: Lot of that comes with maturity a lot of that comes with having a bigger scope of understanding - that's like I said when you're in high school and you take sports very seriously and there's things like state tournaments there's nothing else that matters in the world like you don't realize how big the world is when you're in high school the world revolves around high school it revolves around the really a you know and you know there's as much as I do like That's Life that's life you know I mean and then it's not until you bust out into the world like I look at it like everybody's like oh what happened

[00:42:42] Ryan: To like me telling all my friends we

[00:42:45] Jacob: Were graduating that we're all gonna still like kick it and you know what I mean and it's because not that they were they were not that they weren't your friends but at the same time you guys had to be at the same place at the same time I look at it like it's raw right if you picture high school like a straw everybody's going through the same straw we all have to be there so you hang out with those people because you're there and like that's all that matters the drama in high school the sports the relationships the loves the like that's all that's all you know and that's life and then when you graduate you hit the end of the straw and all of a sudden it's **** free-for-all yeah and everybody flies off into the wind like those dandelions in the summertime you know and original hours exactly yeah exactly so that's kind of you know so

[00:43:32] Ryan: One I had to broaden my scope of the world and that's why when I took off to Seattle for like a year and a half yeah yeah it got a real dark and real bad for a while but that's because I went from Kelso to Seattle right I went from you

[00:43:47] Jacob: Know like you know what we doing this week you know we're gonna you know find some beers and yeah pull up in my pickup

[00:43:54] Ryan: Truck drink some beers and then call it good and that's wild you know what I mean and then you go to college in Seattle and it's like everybody's doing

[00:44:02] Jacob: Drugs yeah you're just exposed to you know

[00:44:11] Ryan: You're just exposed to a lot and it's

[00:44:13] Jacob: Enticing it is enticing but it also you

[00:44:16] Ryan: Got to be really careful not to lose yourself or be able to put yourself back so like so that be answer a to

[00:44:24] Jacob: That question is just like broadening my scope of understanding and broadening the scope of reality in what matters and what does it matter as much right but those defeats I took very hard because that was all I know you know like I was a returning state placer I was supposed to place again except higher and I ended up getting pins in the match that would determine whether or not you placed or not like at state and it was like I put my whole and also cutting weight I am now very against

[00:44:50] Ryan: High schoolers cutting weight or at least the way the untrained uneducated way that it happens I wearing a garbage bag and running and **** like that I would love to like publicly speak on this at some point like speak on the dangers of like weight cutting and why we should be at least teaching them how to cut weight properly cuz like yeah we're all spending so much time being like ah like **** everything except my weight and losing a bunch of weight in an unhealthy rapid manner so that I could go like attempt to be strong after

[00:45:21] Jacob: Making myself weak right and like and then the fluctuations between after you weigh in gaining a bunch of weight back and like all this crazy in high school that's **** brutal your body is supposed to be growing the most right huh you know what I mean and so like I spent all this time like just like

[00:45:37] Ryan: Putting my whole life into it cutting away wrestling on the offseason all this **** for one week which is state the week of state that's what all of those months and years go into yeah so that was like a devastating loss for me you don't have me and so like it that took me years to get over that and then I realized the broader scope and that handy to be focused on succeeding at life and not succeeding in high school

[00:46:00] Jacob: Right threat and then the whole music

[00:46:03] Ryan: Thing happens and like people have hated the idea of me making it in music

[00:46:12] Jacob: And making music in general and like I'll admit like yeah a lot of my early stuff sucked a lot of my stuff sucks for a long time right I was a cornball and I

[00:46:22] Ryan: Fully accept that's fine but like I got so used to everybody especially my hometown just hating me and do that like despising what I do and talk and **** and this and that and like all this petty stuff and then I go into like I go to Seattle and all sudden it's like everybody's an artist and this is dope vibe and nobody hates on you anymore I don't know if it's just because like it's so I think part of it is it's so hard to see somebody that you knew as a different yeah be a different human it's very difficult you know what I mean especially maybe they feel like they have not become a different human so to see you become a different human it like

[00:46:58] Jacob: **** Exim do to even allow room for someone else to change it takes a shift within the other people who are actually it takes a shift within the onlookers some people are not even willing to give themselves a little bit of room to allow you to change right and so they're like I'm just gonna hold on to my opinion of you but especially as you get you know past the ages of the 21 22 years old you definitely have to you know and again

[00:47:22] Ryan: For people in like a smaller town area like arts there's you got to leave room as an observer for change like you got to be like oh I did think this through this way about this person before but like clearly they're changing clear they

[00:47:32] Jacob: I was incorrect about what I thought of

[00:47:34] Ryan: Them or yeah or that mentality never

[00:47:38] Jacob: Changes and then you just have to be strong enough to know when you got to cut people out of your life absolutely like I started succeeding the most when I told myself you know what nobody can

[00:47:49] Ryan: Say anything to you that is going to

[00:47:52] Jacob: Deter you discourage you bring you down because you will never be anything and if you want to succeed as bad as you want to succeed you're going to cut these people out of your life who do not actually believe in you do not want to see you change do not want to see you grow do not want to see you succeed and

[00:48:06] Ryan: So I just stopped giving a flying **** about what anybody thinks I can or cannot do and then all sudden I make that change and then **** starts happening right and then all sudden that synchronicity that energy started balling up inside of me and I started to see that manifest success into my life and now I don't give a **** I don't care

[00:48:26] Jacob: I don't care what you think about me I don't and that's not even me being arrogant that's like if like I am all for like if you want to show love or like if you like you know if there's old relationships in my past that want to sit down have a beer and rekindle I'm all for it I'm not an arrogant person I'm doing that right on being **** on right or at least I'll go down that to affect my mentality right so that's and

[00:48:50] Ryan: Then that just snowballs people don't

[00:48:53] Jacob: Understand when you start to empower yourself and like you know the whole

[00:48:57] Ryan: Like half the reason that I'm doing all this is just to prove to people that empowering yourself real that you can empower yourself and you can change I mean **** that's less you know half stands for hope and mission fortitude the whole part of it was to be like if you want whatever you want to do in life you can achieve that with basically these three key aspects and you can you can use hope ambition fortitude to like propel yourself into something greater a greater version of you right that's what I'm out here doing and so slowly but surely it's starting to actually work and so like once you start to empower yourself then you build on that energy and then that energy snowballs and snowballs and then you get to that level that you were talking about of like an undefeatable mindset yeah like I've just you just have to start but that's only gonna start within yourself when you make that decision that you're that you're going to cut

[00:49:47] Jacob: Off that negativity and truly focus on

[00:49:50] Ryan: Yourself and believe in yourself more than you ever have and it'll be hard at first and it'll get easier it'll get easier and then you'll start attracting more positive people into your life and those people that's the real issue Pro we were talking about we talked about two books before this - one of them you're talking about synchronicity that word man I mean that's some real **** that's a lot of times people be like hey how's it going - podcast house or whatever I'm like bro honestly I'm following my intuition and the synchronicities aren't lining up I am I'm doing what I feel is right and I'm ignoring like you like you're talking about it's almost like you put your blinders on in what I'm focused on is me and it might sound selfish but I'm focused on like what I'm supposed to be doing right like I like oh if you don't like what I'm doing like okay like right you don't even cross my mind like I'm just right past you can't affect me if I and I think that when you start going on that road once you have your blinders on you get to where you like you're going 70 miles per hour towards your goals in like you

[00:50:45] Ryan: Might **** switch lanes once in a while but it seems like the

[00:50:50] Jacob: Synchronicities just start it's like it's like you tune into who you really are and who you truly believe yourself to be and then all of a sudden like people and things and opportunities start popping up like it's almost **** magic man and I start coming up but it's a it's a simple thing but you can kind of think of like say you your daughter you got a daughter and

[00:51:12] Ryan: She's turning 16 soon and you're looking

[00:51:15] Jacob: For cars for and you know all she wants is a red Honda Civic and then all of a sudden like you don't see red Honda Civic but then all the sudden read how the sexes are **** everywhere because you're like you're looking out for me because it's a reliable car for my daughter is this actually a car that I want to get hair like oh you know that one's actually not too bad I like those rims like what would she like you know you start your mind starts warping around I know I want to get my daughter a car and she likes red Honda Civic so all of a sudden you see red Honda Civic everywhere this is this is you know the synchronicity I want you to don't be afraid to like you know we live in a world where we're afraid to say things at me anyway like oh I don't want to get to tinfoil hat or to woowoo or to you know talking about intuition

[00:51:53] Ryan: And in mystical sort of things that we don't they're hard to conceptualize into words but I've totally believed in them and I think that exploring them and expanding them as creators is **** awesome so tell me Ryan Reed about synchronicity manifestation talk to me about this **** bro so first and

[00:52:12] Jacob: Foremost I am not religious I am you know I work very hard to be very open minded I don't care what you believe in it you know like that I'm not gonna judge you based on what you believe in obviously unless it's you know unless there's a piece of **** and believe in piece of **** philosophies but like you know I don't hide that just me personally I personally am not really just I personally don't believe that there is a God and I hope people don't judge me for that but if they do yeah whatever it's your opinion man exactly I'm not gonna judge you back you know so why are you interested me but anyway plumbing is that I that so energy is

[00:52:54] Ryan: What I believe in like I believe that

[00:52:57] Jacob: Each human is a product of what they like a product of their own consciousness and like the energies that

[00:53:07] Ryan: They begin we're almost like all like

[00:53:10] Jacob: Magnets you know or you could look at it like the two wolves theory where the

[00:53:16] Ryan: The grandpa was like tells the grandson that there's two wolves and all of us one of them is greed lust

[00:53:27] Jacob: Anger agony all that and then the other

[00:53:30] Ryan: One is peacefulness selflessness hair love all that good stuff and then the grand sounds like well which one wins or

[00:53:39] Jacob: Yeah because he was like the two wolves are always at battle they're always battling each other inside of you instead of every person and the grand sounds like well which one wins and the Graham the grandfather's like the one you feed you know and so like I'm a big fan of that or like so Jim Morrison of the doors who I'm a big fan of got me

[00:53:58] Ryan: Into Frederick Nietzsche and then so in the birth of tragedy there is the whole Apollonian Dionysian concept where we

[00:54:06] Jacob: All live somewhere on this like balance beam of our Apollonian sad and our die nice the inside and that's not as like polar ring as the wolves but same kind of concept where one is like more so I guess you could say matters of like the heart and then the other and then the Apollonius has more matters that like the brain so it'd be like intellect kind of versus emotion right and we all live on this balance and so actually have a song called

[00:54:34] Ryan: Apollonian and ICN that kind of speaks on that topic a little bit and kind of the struggles in my mind with my own balance and so like what I believe is that inside of everybody is basically this balance beam of energy and what you put your weight into is what is going to

[00:54:51] Jacob: Win if it end yeah and basically once

[00:54:54] Ryan: You realize that power is yours like that balance once you reel and that's the hardest part the hardest part about my whole idea and

[00:55:04] Jacob: Philosophy on like the human being is realizing is knowing once you know that you're in control of your own balance being right then you start to naturally become less victim minded and more ambition minded and then you start to notice the way the energies revolve around you what energies you're attracting and what energies are giving out because like what you said when you put your blinders on you start speeding down the freeway and then you said that like people and opportunities and things pop up more often than not those people that start popping up are going to be because they share a similar energy to you right so then I'm just like connecting my energies with the right people instead of trying to butt heads connecting my energies to the wrong people and the wrong energies and so I'm building this like network of energies with the people that vibe with

[00:55:53] Ryan: Me on my wavelength and therefore that

[00:55:56] Jacob: Is making my energy stronger exactly an

[00:55:59] Ryan: Or darker depending on what you feed you don't mean so that's kind of my whole philosophy about because here's a deal do I know for a fact that there is no

[00:56:10] Jacob: God no anybody know that's the point nobody does what happens when you die speculation nobody knows except people that are dead and good luck asking that Brett right so like I don't base it off of like this is truth and this is fact i base it off what can I

[00:56:27] Ryan: Use like what applies to me and

[00:56:30] Jacob: What can I use to not only better myself but better those around me and for me it's that energy concepts you know I mean and that's just personifying it you know maybe it's energy maybe it's the Holy Spirit whatever it is you know we get whatever word doesn't matter we're talking about the same thing because exactly you know and ideally like here's the other thing too is it's gonna suck if there is a god and he's like he's like well you know cuz based on certain aspects of the Bible he would be like what and Christians are probably and crucify me for this no pun intended hey but um you know you know they're like there's something about like oh you deny me in front of your friends Elton I even for my father and so it's gonna be real shitty if I die and this is

[00:57:11] Ryan: Years down the past after years of my

[00:57:14] Jacob: Like the philanthropic I believe I pronounced that right the fear the philanthropic side of me that I want to ya the act of philanthropy right maybe

[00:57:25] Ryan: Your philanthropic ambitions thank you is how you would say that I love it somebody's gonna be like no that wasn't

[00:57:31] Jacob: Right but so I do want to do a lot of philanthropy in my life you know what I mean like with these benefit concerts each one continues to get bigger and like I really do want to help change lives for the better I want to make a difference right and it's gonna be super hypocritical pretty shitty for me if I do all this philanthropy and like do and then help a lot of people in life and then I get to heaven and he's like well even though you were a really good dude and like helped a lot of people you technically didn't believe in God so and then trap door opens and I dropped down the hell yeah that's gonna suck but that's the if that's if that's what it is that's the mean you're the only one who's dealing with that if that's if that's the reality that people think is real then you're the only one who has to pay for it right I mean like you know so exactly so I you know right because nobody else is gonna know what's going on yeah so you know that's

[00:58:23] Ryan: Me that's I'm very energy driven I was I told you this before but when I

[00:58:28] Jacob: Read synchronicity and when I read the war of art not to be confused with the art of war when I read those two books I

[00:58:37] Ryan: Was actually in work-release jail for

[00:58:39] Jacob: Some other dumb stuff that we don't gotta get into you know I was I was an idiot back in the day like around like between like night with all big boys my friend we're I've been boys and I got sometimes right I got a lot of trouble like personally in like legal trouble when I was like 19 to like 22 you know

[00:58:57] Ryan: And that really helped shape me a lot but so anyway I read those two books when I was in there and that was like

[00:59:05] Jacob: You know when you have nothing else to do you really fully dive into the book because you don't have distractions around you obviously and so like those

[00:59:14] Ryan: Were key to me starting to build this

[00:59:18] Jacob: Mentality that I do and this belief system that I do of the energies you attract and the energies that you put effort into right dude do you think I personally believe that a book I mean anything can change your life like dude someone farting too close next you can change a life if that's the opportunity you're ready for but I really believe that a book can change someone's life like very quickly like you know I listened to a lot of podcasts I've seen plenty of episodes of Parks and Rec in the office and stuff and as much as they bring me joy none of them have ever profoundly changed my life and like sparked something in me that I didn't know was even there ready to be sparked I think that a book not just like a book

[00:59:56] Ryan: Has magic or anything but I think that just slowing down this crazy-ass world and in reading or audiobook or whatever is enough to like kind of bring us out of our fast momentum our maze that we all have to live in and really like spark something that's

[01:00:10] Jacob: Already within us um do you like you I mean you're pretty busy with your half stuff but have you recently in the last year at any good books outside we talked about the war of art and then I synchronicities and so that's actually funny that you say that because we just Carissa and I we just put down six books each and whoever gets through

[01:00:32] Ryan: Them first the loser has to buy both

[01:00:36] Jacob: Of us Apple watches that's so savage

[01:00:38] Ryan: Holy **** right because that's like that's like a bunch of money on the line you're hacking the human **** meat Batman like this right because obviously you want an Apple watch don't you yeah you're gonna have to read a bunch of books right next of them and they're all not like I don't read fiction not

[01:00:54] Jacob: Because I don't want to but because I have so little time to read at all that I want it to be yeah you know I want it to be something that I'm gonna take with me right empowering right and so I'll tell you what I got in the works right now I'm about a third of the way through the seven Habits of Highly successful humans and highly-effective paper yeah that one yeah Highly Effective People about like a third of the way into that book actually changed my life photo straighter dude it's changing my life currently yeah so that's amazing that's a good one I made it like halfway through the 50 laws of

[01:01:32] Jacob: Power or 48 laws of power can I have it read though and it's good it's a lot like that's the thing is like there's all these side stories and everything and like you kind of gotta like filter through the 48 laws of power because it's really manipulative too and like you'd want to be that guy right you don't I mean like it's almost when those books were it's like if I implement all these like I'm gonna be a low-key kind of a piece of **** like yeah I'm gonna watch my own narcissism yeah it's gonna it's gonna like you know give you tips on basically how to step on people to get your self further and that's not my mo I don't want to do the crabs in the bucket you know maybe it's good to learn about so you watch out for that sort of thing it can make you defensive it could be a sword or it could be the shield alright so I'm gonna I'm gonna finish reading it for the fact of it being a shield so there's that one I'm reading

[01:02:16] Jacob: This book called who's afraid of AI and that's a really quick one and that one's really dope it's funny because it was written in like late 2018 and I'm like **** this is already outdated because I move so fast everything about AI is so different from 2018 like but it's dope because it really looks at like how jobs are going to

[01:02:35] Ryan: Change and like how there's a lot of aspects of AI that we don't realize are already in place like there's a lot of jobs that are using them and a lot of areas of the workforce that use it

[01:02:48] Jacob: Heavily that you don't even think about first things you think about our cars I Robot an Elon Musk you know what I mean and I've worked and I've worked in a production mills before so I definitely like fresh in my mind I'm like these people are not gonna job right pretty soon so another one you might like so that was interesting also if you're interested in AI Andrew Yang's

[01:03:12] Ryan: Joe Rogan podcast I'll fair Gideon money

[01:03:15] Jacob: Money um no pun intended because he wants to everyone again I love learning but yeah I do want to eventually get somebody who's pretty good at AI on here we go just I really like explaining to people who don't have any idea with **** going on right I want to get somebody can be like that let me give you just some four one on my count under stones are you familiar with neural ink yeah half row oh my god how is this even reality dude the fact that wait give it's for somebody who's never heard the term neural link before give him a low down is a quick tip there's okay so quickly there's two aspects to neural link there's the short term goals and there's the long term goals short term and girl goals very humanitarian very amazing like absolutely the long-term goals scare the **** out of me so Elon Musk comes up for this key presentation talk to the front of it and Elon Musk goes on like a keynote speech and he's

[01:04:05] Ryan: Like alright so we have this neural link and basically we are going to take microscopic wires wire them into your neurons via the back of your ear and

[01:04:15] Jacob: Then you'll have a transmitter that will

[01:04:18] Ryan: Like clip on to that connection to your neurons and then it will basically be able to read the movements

[01:04:26] Jacob: Between like your synapses it'll be able

[01:04:29] Ryan: To read that just as quickly as your brain reads and then it'll basically so the short term goal is if you're like a

[01:04:38] Jacob: Paraplegic as we advanced in prosthetics you would be able to so basically it makes your mind a Bluetooth device so you could have like a prosthetic leg and be able to move it in the same way that you tell your muscles to move through your brain but via like almost like a Bluetooth connection so he's trying to basically eliminate paralyzation which is if that was the right way to say that

[01:05:04] Ryan: Word which is amazing it's fantastic right yeah but then there's the other side of it where he's like but then the long-term I want everybody on a genius

[01:05:14] Jacob: Super cloud yeah so basically like Siri would be in your head like you know it'd be like Ironman where it's like Oh what

[01:05:24] Ryan: Are we in the nervous yeah and Jarvis yeah I'd be like that but it's like dude if somebody hacked iCloud how long is it before they hack the genius super cloud with all of our **** brains attached to it I hate or how long is it before the military actually not even how long military is already getting on Elon

[01:05:40] Jacob: Musk's ass so how can we weaponize this right they probably we are we already probably got a chip in our head that's so small it's like we're just talking about this Elon thing like ants the size of your finger right it's already way smaller right it's like yeah who got their flu shot this year well you got a super chip you got the nanobots to the nanobot right so like the long-term the long-term goals are pretty scary for neural link and it's really you know exciting to read into but then you know at the same time the other half of the coin is you're like oh you know this was like a year ago and so you're like okay that sounds really interesting but obviously that's gotta be like a couple years out or whatever right like calm down Elon like I get it you're ambitious and then he's like oh so we've already been successful with monkeys yep we've already had a monkey control a computer

[01:06:26] Ryan: Wirelessly through his neural link food so you create a plan of the Apes so that's cool yeah that's here for now great terminator and already it is here dude

[01:06:36] Jacob: Let's start human trials in 2020 and then also you wake up like a month and a half ago and is 2020 yeah it's is now yeah it's weird that it's like we're still live in our life's doing like whatever and like there's **** doing that right now making Silicon Valley wherever they're at like their this happening right now it's so dope it's fascinating it's terrifying but it's fascinating and **** awesome right it's a wild ass time to be alive you were on the third book of your six oh right um so oh one that I won that doesn't include this that's not included in the six actually there's two that not included in the six mention mob books grab a brief history of Vice who

[01:07:13] Ryan: Advise a vice okay it's really it's

[01:07:17] Jacob: Not like a life-changing book but it's really fun and really interesting it basically looks at the bird like the

[01:07:23] Ryan: The oldest human history known of like

[01:07:26] Jacob: All vice and that goes from drinking to drugs to **** talking to sex - oh shoot

[01:07:39] Ryan: Like oh like music like how the

[01:07:43] Jacob: Stonehenge is there's this huge theory

[01:07:47] Ryan: That Stonehenge was this musical arena like the world's first rave because it's the way that it's

[01:07:54] Jacob: Put together can if you get enough

[01:07:57] Ryan: People drumming at a certain frequency

[01:08:00] Jacob: Like in Stonehenge the way it reflects

[01:08:03] Ryan: Creates this like trance this rhythmic

[01:08:06] Jacob: Trance and people would just like resume

[01:08:09] Ryan: At this frequency as a perfect that there's a proven science between like certain frequencies in the way they make your mind kind of react and so there's a we can dive into frequencies I make beats and **** to just like you I probably had some **** up dates or you're like I touched some weird frequencies today when I was making so I would do a trade 0 dude I've had days where I like my legs feel hella weird the rest of day cuz I'm like I don't know what the **** but I was doing but I was in that frequency too long when I was making that thing and I feel **** up or in it yeah it's definitely so there's that so you might find that one interesting but yeah then the funny thing too is he teaches you like how to do a lot of these early like for

[01:08:50] Jacob: Instance like the first type of beer

[01:08:54] Ryan: That was discovered by man and like then he'll give you like directions ik step-by-step recipes on how to do it or like there's like this hallucinogen made from like some

[01:09:08] Jacob: Sort of cheese and mushrooms and he teaches you how to sounds like a wild ride yeah so he teaches he's like but you have to you have to fast for a

[01:09:19] Ryan: Week before you do it and he'll do it in The Hague so here were my results like he was in the nest it's that one's really interesting brief history events interesting and I do like stuff that were people guinea pig themselves on the top right and that's kind of like what I do so okay yes exactly so you probably enjoy that one I'm have you read who moved my cheese I've not read who movements you could read it in a day it's really small and it's all about being willing to change and adapt ooh yeah it uses this whole metaphor and again you could read in a day but so it's a quick one but it's this whole metaphor of like you're a cheese or you're a mouse and a

[01:09:54] Jacob: Maze and somebody moves your cheese and

[01:09:57] Ryan: Based on your habits one of the mice stays and waits for it to come back the other mice the other Mouse steps out into the unknown into the maze knowing that it and it's gonna have to adapt and to survive and find more cheese it is

[01:10:13] Jacob: The long played out metaphor well this sounds great because I actually like Shaylee and I talk about a lot of times like trying to conceptualize the way that my mind works is a lot of times

[01:10:22] Ryan: Well in helping other people is getting them to realize like you're in the maze like so today I might find interest in that just cuz a lot of times we're trying to solve our maze problems we're trying to like is it left or is it right but the truth is you need to just notice that you're in the maze right nuts that's what's gonna tell you if it's left or right or yeah remove yourself from anyone who wants like a real quick just kick in the ass about being more

[01:10:44] Jacob: Open and accepting to change who moved my cheese real quick love it yeah so the three that I'm currently reading though were 48 laws of power the Who's Afraid a

[01:10:53] Ryan: I and seven Habits of Highly Effective humans right that's yeah the right title what were the other three um oh man hopefully I can I can remember they're all like stacked up on top of each other I know I'm always like I'm a third away this one through I'm 1/8 of the way of the two that right

[01:11:11] Jacob: Yes I've even started three of them I

[01:11:14] Ryan: Don't even remember what they're called right now so well maybe we'll get the review on the next Ryan Reed fun right exactly um so we want to okay so I want to talk about creativity and producing and I want to talk to producer Ryan Reed for sure I'm in rapper Ryan Reed of course too but I do just want to on the seven Habits of Highly Effective People just because it's a cool so there's a story in that I'm probably gonna butcher it but I think it might be the opening story about they're on the train they're on the subway and there's kids that are like acting out do you remember having gone to this part yet wasn't it a

[01:11:46] Jacob: Party or there was like the like birthday party and the kid didn't want to share the toys was a bad story you know it's a difference where okay so I'll tell story I might butcher it so read this book seven Habits of Highly Effective People because he brings a

[01:12:00] Ryan: Bunch of like I metaphoric child stories I thought it was at the beginning but I haven't read it in a long time so essentially this dude is on a subway or train and he's like at the end of his work today and essentially he has like a couple kids and a guy next to him and the kids are just being loud they're being like kind of naughty they're just like not behaving and they're getting progressively louder and like disturbing his peace and he talks about how he's like he starts to get a little more frustrated Aneesa I'm gonna say something to this guy I'm gonna tell him I'm gonna be like hey can you I'm like tell him he's watches kids right and so he gets he gets to the nerd he talks about socks and fell through it in his head and then he says all right I wouldn't get the nerve and he's finally goes hey man can you can you watch your

[01:12:38] Jacob: Kids they're acting out you know that they're being naughty or what they're disturbing the peace whatever he says to him and the guy kind of snaps out of it the father and he looks around he's like oh no I'm very sorry sir you know I guess they're probably just a little out of you know they're probably really don't know how to act because we just left the hospital and their mother just died right yep and it's like dude I remember reading that and I was like holy for my heart drop and I was like it like woke up this thing in me and also holy **** we could be so caught up and like I'm gonna say something I'm gonna like we were thinking about ourselves so **** much in these situations like you're disturbing my peace we don't really think about like this man is just staring off into space you think he's not being good dad but he's actually just going through one most traumatic suffering experiences he's absolutely and the kids don't just cry and like understand that the severity the things that happened to him they act out they be kids they don't know what's

[01:13:28] Jacob: Going on you know so I'm bidding ways so that I remember when I read that like profoundly changed me and I could have been remembering that a little incorrectly so it's definitely read that book reader but it's actually I remember the apartment of mine and that's pretty yeah you pretty much nailed it obviously you know I think it's important to see other people and you know you can't just walk around like if there's some dude just punching random people in the face you came like he's probably having his mob just dad you know I mean let's balance - yeah there's a bit but I think that when you can see people immediately for like the first thing you see is like they've got something there's a reason that's going on Ryan they've got something but yeah so great book seven Habits

[01:14:06] Ryan: Highly affected people let's move on to Ryan Reed the producer yeah hi personally I so I've been like a DJ I've been a DJ for many years and we've worked together DJ wise I've always kind of pushed away the I've not had a lot of self-confidence in like the producing side of the world I honestly just haven't really done a ton of producing I'm the guy who was stuck in many years of just like watching every tutorial I could possibly find and not **** putting a beat pad under my fingers and just doing it right the last two years I have done more of that I've started playing piano more started like allowing myself to - I don't know just make some **** I'm not really for any other reason but other than myself but

[01:14:49] Jacob: Yeah it's a really cool journey and I know that over the years you have definitely gotten more and more great at producing in you inspire me and I just want to talk about producing yeah tell me how did you when it first started so like rapping of course but when did you when did you branch into like making your own beats or like explain your own sounds almost immediately almost immediate they started about the same time okay I just did not explains a lot right I did I just didn't I didn't put out I didn't put out the ones that I produced for myself for a while you know what I mean it was always something that I here's the deal if you want the secret just suck for a bit yeah like you're just gonna have to go through that period of not like making a bunch of beats that

[01:15:41] Ryan: Aren't great right you don't a meme and so I didn't even release most the ones that I made myself I did some like in high school I released a couple but I ended up linking up with a couple people who were just naturally way better than I was at producing like some just some local cats and so I started using their

[01:15:59] Jacob: Beats and I just I you know I didn't really have the balls to like really like make mine the highlight of my

[01:16:06] Ryan: Work until years later until like 20 probably like 2014 Max and I we did a

[01:16:14] Jacob: Whole collaboration EP called the you know rap EP and we produced every beat on that and we made it a goal to like it's gonna be all of our own production right but that was also when we started linking with Matt Jefferson aka make music or Die aka crumb bum who is he said God like we call him jefe that got because that dude is he's 12 years self-taught engineering actually more than twelve now self-taught engineering producing he's

[01:16:41] Ryan: Toured the US as the lead singer of

[01:16:44] Jacob: Mortified mortician which think like

[01:16:47] Ryan: Marilyn Manson style he plays guitar drums bass I think the dude is just a

[01:16:54] Jacob: Legend and he's become we start working he's out of Black Diamond right oh yeah you know you know it I got totally I always forget I know yeah will do because we haven't really worked together at that suit like I have it I don't think I've seen you there what cuz I don't work we don't work there yeah what one no but you just saying you think that our paths would cross in that way but I've never had they didn't cross it yeah I've been having in years though like we just do I just do it on his house yeah you know and like he's become like he's become like a big brother to me in a lot of ways music and just life mmm like that dudes just that's my big bro and I mean **** even he was one of

[01:17:35] Ryan: The only people that I told that I was in the hospital because it was creeping up on studio day and I'm like hey they keep telling me I'm here so I'm probably not gonna get like how I'm supposed to be let out and then they kept me another day I'm supposed to be let out sounds like dude like I'm probably not gonna get let out till tomorrow which the day of my studio so I was like dude I'm just gonna come straight from the hospital to the studio so we could still get this song recorded and we did and I want to go into that too but he met cheeks out in the nightgown or what you just in the studio just right I kept the gun I'm like I ain't even changed put the video on right exactly but so he VIN like he ended up buying a MIDI key like a mini MIDI keyboard because he had the idea he wanted a smaller one anyway but he had no reason to actually go do it I told him I was in the hospital he went into Guitar Center and bought a mini MIDI keyboard brought that and headphones to the hospital and was like

[01:18:27] Jacob: Hey so maybe you could at least produce while you're stuck in here boy and I was like dude I was like three beats that like are all bangers like yeah it's amazing man is so cool and like you know I'm in like the 14th story of OHSU which

[01:18:40] Ryan: Is up on the hill up on the mountains and I just have this whole pretty like my whole window is just Portland we can you see PCT mountains from there yeah I mean towards Mount Hood dude I love that we there's so many great like top story views like 14th floor where we live you can just look around most the time you can catch a mountain if there's not any hills next it's over and so I had like a big window shelf and so I just literally set it up on the shelf up against the window yes I would just produce and just look in there's nuts but so that just speaks to the type of dude he is but working with him for so long I've been able to progress so much you know because like I'll take my beats and then I'll bounce out the track outs individually and then he uses his

[01:19:24] Jacob: Engineering skills with all the plugins in the south the you know editing plugins that I do not have the money for and just makes everything sound better

[01:19:34] Ryan: So mean him together of just like

[01:19:38] Jacob: Evolutionized my abilities do like what we're capable of doing right and then so now like I just need the raw bare bones and then make sure I write to it and then bounce it out and then we go to him and I'm like can you help me like you know I in my head it sounds like you know do to do but in reality is like do to do so let anything like that's just a stupid example but you know so he just helps me take all of my babies and turn them two grown men make it make sense yeah and so less people like that right and so that's but that's also helped me learn how to come you know prepared with

[01:20:13] Ryan: Like more in-depth full projects you

[01:20:17] Jacob: Know because now I'm getting the hang of it and so now I produce everything that I make you know mean since like

[01:20:23] Ryan: Twenty

[01:20:25] Jacob: I don't know sixteen or some it's 2015

[01:20:27] Ryan: Is waiting what's your preferred uh so I I arrange and logic but I use a machine a lot okay but I don't like the arrangement and machine it's just not my style I hate how it arranges so I love arranging and logic it's just what I know I've been on Logic since I was like

[01:20:45] Jacob: In high school right and so like I just arranged on that and then like I don't know if you're familiar with output and like arcade I use the output arcade all time row oh my like and you know there's a secret weapon and you know what **** the people that say that's cheating

[01:20:59] Ryan: And that derail fight that **** makes me cancel that **** makes me I'm a DJ so I feel like I'm like yeah I mean I've been using loops and samples literally I've been getting hella money by using loops and samples so like yeah you're talking about so like honestly like oh I'll use

[01:21:12] Jacob: You know a lot of times I'll still make my own drums piece by piece with my machine you know I'll still drum it out and then a lot of times I'll still use my own like keys and stuff and but the fact that you can match key signatures for all the difference like engines in an arcade like all

[01:21:35] Ryan: I need is one that like gets an idea started way to freeze your ideas that's my favorite thing about that program because you can you can drag into and it changes the key for you like that's the biggest thing is like when you like I got this dope ID and you start playing drums and your drums are out of key and you're like why the **** does that sound right not how it should sound in my head or vocal sample to a guitar sample you

[01:21:57] Jacob: Know the ability to just make them to lock in that key signature and in what we're talking about listeners if you don't know we're talking about we're talking about everything that if every sound has a key it has a key in a tempo and you can what a what a DJ or

[01:22:13] Ryan: What a producer or what someone who's mixing things together they make them all in the same key they put them together so they actually sound good so just because I have a cool like dududu and then I have a cool bum bubble bum doesn't mean they're in the same key doesn't mean they go together it doesn't mean at the same tempo right so making those things

[01:22:30] Jacob: Actually make sense together is the

[01:22:33] Ryan: Art of producing and mixing in these things well and that's I would say one of the biggest smartest things that I did to elevate my production is learn

[01:22:43] Jacob: Key signatures right like where I'm at yeah and like so the thing is like I can't sit down on your piano and bust

[01:22:50] Ryan: Out like a memorized Beethoven song or even a memorized journey song like I don't have any songs memorized that I can impress you with but I understand key signatures so I could be like oh here's a G minor chord and here's C minor and so that allows me to produce like I'll produce a melody and then by the time I move on from the piano melody and move on to the drums and the other aspects and then I write lyrics to it and then I record it and then worry about engineering like mixing it and then I release it and I'm worried about promo I forgot that **** I can't sit down and play this beautiful piano melody that I wrote one time yeah because I didn't memorize it I didn't take the time to because there's so much other aspects to do so like understanding how music works and

[01:23:31] Ryan: Understanding theory like I would say for anybody that wants to produce or even be an artist take time to understand music theory like it's important and something on YouTube I wish that I wish that I had started the journey earlier that I did because I don't have any sort of musical background it which I think **** every song is cool I love all songs I just want to mix them together and that's like my music background is that

[01:23:50] Jacob: YouTube University YouTube University I no doubt there's so much learn who you watch on YouTube like you have any like beat makers on YouTube like I usually

[01:24:01] Ryan: Use YouTube super specifically right like how to use this VST yeah it's like I'll come in or like I'll come into a question of like so if I wanted to yeah

[01:24:14] Jacob: Like if it's like okay I need to

[01:24:16] Ryan: Automate some pitch on like an intro to

[01:24:19] Jacob: Like make the vocal sample go you know from this octave slowly to this octave every quarter note before I rap I'll be like how to do how to automate a pitch you know on Logic Pro it's like very specific **** yeah or I'll be like a lot of times though Google key signatures cuz I'll forget all right how many flats are in you know B minor or whatever but as far as the ones that I actually watch I watched a lot of the genius ones actually there's genius and then there's one other one that are like popular beats because I like to hear how the popular radio ones were made right because then I can like kind of like pick up on like things that sonically

[01:24:57] Ryan: Make it a successful record right

[01:25:01] Jacob: Right but bow too right but yeah I just sucked for a long time you know I mean and then all of a sudden I made enough to where they started to not suck or and then arcade was able to just like blow my mind with like the sound starters like for instance tornado my most popular song right now it very quickly became a most popular song because it's fun and it's not like deep and dark like a lot of my stuff but like instantly I found that like for those that have heard tornado you know that first like I owe that sample that vocal sample I found that unlike instantly I'm like that dude it sent you like on a projection like this is the idea go from

[01:25:38] Ryan: There and it's just - it's the initial like that I hear and then the oh I just put those together then there was the one that was like I don't want nothing those together and I was like that's Helene 808 and there's the beat so do you like loop net so you start out with your idea just the creative process we start with your idea you're like okay that's the one it gets you going you have this thought okay I think we can go with this and then you just like follow the intuition of throwing some **** some drums in the beat pad and just yes what happens it depends on the song cuz like for instance like there was a hook that I made the other day no baby did you

[01:26:13] Jacob: Get what you came for you played me no you crying on the same floor you said let you down reminisce you're not in Flex you play the whole town on you did it like and like she played the whole tournament in yeah and it's like but no one's left around or no but it came crashing down and no one's left around and that's um truth that you can't drown on and it's like it's pretty dark it's pretty deep but I came up with that first and like I'm not a singer by any means but I can hear the cadence in my head so then I gotta find it like sometimes I start with the you know so it was like baby did you get what you came for and so I'm on there like dddd that pop I do I'm not gonna find it cuz you know I'm not a singer but I can like here at cadence and I can replicate it you know or light with your fingers yes is a note right yes no that's the note or like what we did with that particular song is that like made the beat and then I went to Matt Jefferson and I was like can you help me can you

[01:27:06] Jacob: Like while I was trying to record it I was like can you like have that play on a piano like even if it's not part of the me just add them the melody on piano right I can sing along to it and

[01:27:19] Ryan: Know which pitches I'm supposed to go for you can almost hook your voice to the melody of the piano right stay on that because this is my melody and I just I don't know how to like do it good enough without hearing it being played because I understand what I am and I understand what I'm not I understand that I'm an artist I'm a musician I produce and I rap I don't sing it's just

[01:27:40] Jacob: Not you know what I mean so I had to figure out how to be it's almost like one of my favorite inspirations production and artist wise is Mac Miller and we could get into Mac Miller a lot but the biggest thing you have to realize is the change from like kids it's a blue slide park - good a. m. - My Beautiful Dark Twisted that's Kanye Divine Feminine yeah - swimming and like he's you know

[01:28:10] Ryan: Similar to me in the sense that he's a producer he's a rapper he has music inside of him he's an artist but he's not a singer but he figured out how to still create emotion and not a rapper but an artist like if you look at that progression especially from good a. m. to Divine Feminine to swimming he became an artist I'm as I like to look at when

[01:28:33] Jacob: You're not a singer when you're like okay I know I don't have the Beyonce but right but my lyrics and my mouth my

[01:28:39] Ryan: Voice and those are instruments right I got to learn how to get a little better at using each of those instruments every single day if you treat him as like a it's not like me like I'm the singer but like these are things that come out of my head in my mouth and I use them as instruments in the mix yeah that's like that's like that's it that's how Mac Miller writes you dude the dude's got so much up and down like he said I mean not I guess he is a specific genre right of his own but he's but those last two records real started to just so Dianna

[01:29:08] Jacob: Right and he realized that he's you know that's why I relate with him so much is because he figured out how to be a great

[01:29:15] Ryan: Musician without being a good singer you

[01:29:18] Jacob: Know what I mean bruh what did you start in the rail here what how did you how did you feel any past man I genuinely had it was this moment where I was like I didn't realize that like yeah I see him on Twitter I listened to his music but like

[01:29:32] Ryan: I feel closer to this dude then I feel to a lot of my friends like I like I felt genuinely disheartened when he died and I'm not trying to make it about me by any means but I think that the Internet and social media and like connection for a lot of artists brings us closer like if what I'm saying is I think it feels like a home he died when he passed do you remember like what happened when it when the news came across uh yes so I was like a decent Mac

[01:29:57] Jacob: Miller fan like I'm not I'm not gonna sit well I was used to be a decent Magna fan like pre Divine Feminine right I was like the casual Mac Miller fan and so like I'm not I'm not gonna say like I've been right or died forever yeah you don't have to feel nothing but like after good am like Divine Feminine and

[01:30:17] Ryan: Swimming like Divine Feminine is if I had to pick one Mac Miller album that meant the most to me it wasn't that one and that's because the darkness he traveled through and like the breakups and stuff and I was going through I was going through a long time like a long term up-and-down relationship with

[01:30:38] Jacob: Somebody from like high school uh-huh right that continued to be up and down throughout like you know 20 I don't know

[01:30:49] Ryan: Like 15 16 maybe I don't recall exactly my years and write a lot of years of like knowing somebody and like knowing the toxicity versus the love and that

[01:31:02] Jacob: You know crazy balance that a lot of us had been involved in right and like Mac Miller's album Divine Feminine was like me at that time and like so it was it was written for me you know when you hear those albums and they're like I feel like they wrote that about me and that's why it felt like a home he died because you relate to their like what they're going through that I feel like you went through that with them and then you feel in turn that they went through your struggles with you so yeah you guys have like it's like a big bro like who just he had like the same path as you and you're like holy **** what you're able to conceptualize us into your words into your lyrics and like loudly to process what I didn't even know it's processing like your words they your words gave explanation to the things that my body was going through my decipher yeah

[01:31:50] Ryan: So like connection so define feminine happens and I fell in love with it and fell in love with him and his music and then swimming happens and it was even so then it was even more ladders what's the years what's your favorite track off swimming oh okay well okay so the

[01:32:09] Jacob: Intro record like when he's like I just need a way out of my head I'd do anything for a way out of my head like that chills when you said that right thanks to me so much but or there's there's another one that like meant a lot to me more recently and that was conversations part one because he was like for one that Cadence's his bass line is good too right and the way his cadence rides but when he was like

[01:32:39] Ryan: He talks about like sit around the house

[01:32:43] Jacob: Do getting faded like homie that a entertain me like going I forget the exact lyrics but it's basically like you know it was basically like I need to get like it really put into

[01:32:56] Ryan: Perspective all the time I've wasted you know and so that one hit me more after he died so by the way when he died after like how close I felt to swimming in Divine Feminine like I was devastated how is

[01:33:08] Jacob: You know what I mean and I was really the only one of my team that really listened to him mm-hmm and so like it was it was a lot for me personally and

[01:33:16] Ryan: Because I kind of had my own path with Mac Miller that I didn't really share with other people like a lot of **** had that right feel like for me I've always loved Mac Miller breath like it was a silent love like it was like a I was crowd was connected to that dude in a lot more ways he realized you were connected yeah if you weren't you were just like casual it's like it's like do-or-die with Mac Miller right and so I at that point I was really strong with him so it hurt and then I ended up going taking off for my birthday for like a weekend and we

[01:33:44] Jacob: Just made music it was me honest and Krista this was you know a couple years ago and we took off to Prineville for my birthday and we were at this guest house and this huge guest house and I turned the whole big dining room table into a studio I brought all of my **** and we just we didn't even go to the lake we went to Lake like one time we made music and drank and chilled and it was so genuine like we just spent all the time but like in my heart like that was like right after the passing and I just I felt like I was traveling down a very similar path you know mentally and then like with our both of our like struggles with not wanting to be sober you know and like the lack of desire for sobriety and written so I traveled down the sobriety path with him to or lack thereof and so like I just all weekend in that music or like in that vibe you know Carissa was she end up saying someone she was like she was like I asked him to I asked him to look over you last night like it was you know and

[01:34:47] Ryan: So because she I think she visualized

[01:34:50] Jacob: The same lifestyle for me right and so she was like yeah I asked him last night after he passed she was like I asked him last night to look over you don't find you don't fall into the same path did you start bawling your eyes out what you said that cuz I think I'm right whatever right now yeah you know that's just powerful in and so but yeah then I'd be listening to conversations afterwards after his death and you know

[01:35:17] Ryan: It'd be like you just behind around the house you getting wasted that ain't entertainment like get up and go and make it whatever the executives are and

[01:35:26] Jacob: I was like god dammit he's right yes call me up ladies called he's like literally being like dude dog wasting away this is no way he knows cuz he'd been there he sees Delta you know you can relate to it right so like that whole death man was like but you know I also I use it to inspire me at the same time you know what I mean and I try to like I don't know I guess

[01:35:51] Ryan: Make music that would hopefully impact

[01:35:55] Jacob: People and you know in a similar way

[01:35:59] Ryan: Away right I mean like I'm still gonna do my fun stuff like tornado and escape the last two songs because but those aren't the ones those are the ones that become your most streamed for obvious reasons but they're not the ones that mean the most right and I think that pulls me into the song that I recorded the day that I left the hospital I left the hospital I had I had written the song prediabetes but the whole diabetes thing like just made it just even more how much did the words did the words change because sometimes I feel like songs are written and you're like I don't what the **** that about and then you read it two months later you're like oh that's what that's none of them changed they just **** it was like I wrote them not knowing that it was gonna

[01:36:37] Jacob: Be more impactful so basically I was I was producing to be for somebody else and you know when you're like when you're producing with Arcade you spend a lot of time just going through sounds and **** right it's almost too exciting to be honest right and so I found I found like this sound and like this song will actually by the time this airs

[01:36:56] Ryan: By the time that this airs this song will be out and it is called this is for so for those that are listening it's called this is for you may have already heard it by now but just like this song

[01:37:07] Jacob: Right here

[01:37:15] Ryan: Ready right and ice like I stumbled upon that and immediately I just knew I was like

[01:37:22] Jacob: That I need to leave this other session yeah start a new song right now because

[01:37:27] Ryan: I cannot lose that I can't forget that yeah so I've made it I laid down that angelic vocals and then I was like okay just keep the drums simple so I just drummed out like some cymbals I do and then lightning Ferb I just use like quarter note hats I didn't want anything like so it's just like it is a rides right and then I just made simp I played simple chords on the piano I think it's G minor a minor I think it's actually a minor doesn't matter but I like did just like some simple chords and I was like that's it good it's all needs and then I ended up writing the whole song that same night that I made it and the song is called this is for and I forget the term there's that there's actual term for this style of writing I don't remember what it's called but it's when everything almost everything starts with the same line so like the song all it's

[01:38:17] Jacob: Like three verses no hook

[01:38:18] Ryan: I got a poetic boner right now tonight so it's like it's like a this is for everything that I've invested this is for working up being respected this is for chance it's taking a fail pick myself up and look at what I'm left with this for the nights I was drinking too much this isn't a nice number remember very much this for the pain again in the game and pushing for people the strength of my name this for the drama this for the doubt this for the skits and the schemes in the cloud this for the doors are dyed to break them win this for the ones that could shut me up and this for the show's with nobody showing up this for the vision that's threatening and closing up this for the ones that still hope and I quit they hope and I failing they hope and I slit this for the friends that I've me in the rear thought I lost control of the wheel and can't steer but it's 2020 and I am still here this is for going to war with my fears

[01:39:03] Jacob: Yes first one okay I can keep going okay hey I'm ready I'm only sitting while we're at it with the second one oh my god how's the second one start uh if

[01:39:17] Ryan: I get the first line I'll be good I think people are arguing that this song will jet this song by the time this cool March 1st in the sound Spotify app music where all of its it'll be on all of it so okay so second verse theme and this is so now you can see now you can see

[01:39:36] Jacob: What I meant by the writing style Fergie I wish I remembered but so then it's like this is for all the nice I could

[01:39:44] Ryan: Sleep this for the fact they obsess over dreams this is for nights I thought I lacked talent to make it despite having all of the passion in this for the studio back at my mom's dick in the go or I roll my four songs this for the scribbles and scratches and tears the trashcan is full but that kept pushing on this for the free styles were thought of the squat sit still and liquor written in the bong think oh we had it even though we was broke by so many days now this is all that we know and this for the summers and all of the women I used to make verses and playing the victim and this for the ignorance needed to grow so this is for me again hi all alone and this for the drugs that I did in the past thinking that those types of habits class this for the Benner's that brought in the bars it brought in the fights and it brought in the scars this for the sanity not thinking clear and driving when I could not even steer but it's 20/20 and I am still here this is for going to war with my fish pursue

[01:40:29] Jacob: Yeah love it there's one more you want it yeah hit me without any day I need it just keep going alright so this for the

[01:40:37] Ryan: Team supporting the dream this is for working that change in the scene this is for HAFLife and all of the fans they play in our music they've reason their hands this is for making some scrap before wraps and then turn it around just to give it all back and this for the moment on Channel eight news just because of the benefit concerts we do this for the fortitude we had to show just to get the throw in the greatest shows just goes to show that Grandin will get you to motor on stage where all the lights close so this for the tears enough every glass Rose past the obstacles back in their past this for the goosebumps this for the tears this for adjustments we made every year this for the trends to tie up loose ends for not breaking when they all thought we would Bend this for the blood this for the sweat when adversity thought we

[01:41:13] Ryan: Income and correct and this for the armor we strapped on ourselves just to get back to battle we taken the belt this for the championship we've been working for this for the fact that nobody has earned it more this for my mom this with my dad when I told him I was gonna live off a rap for I knew we'd be much bigger than that thank you for showing you now how my back and this for the patient shown by my sister this is for every time I mister picture this for the times I wasn't around cuz I was a fight in the world crowd this for my girl patellar but neither could see my best friend of my biggest believe the reason I'm alive is to work in the sword for showing me light what I'm stuck in the dark brushing me off keep my mind clear so I could keep finding the right path to steer that's 2020 and we all are here this is for me conquering fears love it that I wrote

[01:41:54] Jacob: That night and then like two weeks

[01:41:58] Ryan: Later got diagnosed with diabetes almost

[01:42:01] Jacob: Dad left the hospital that day we

[01:42:04] Ryan: Recorded that song and knocked it out of

[01:42:07] Jacob: The park a lot better than the lyrics

[01:42:10] Ryan: Didn't know I did I feel like it's kind of dope occupy like you should open up if I can open up shows with that like don't even sing it just **** - say it - I'm just speaking like just what I did just now that I spoke words that loved it and then now that music video is gonna drop - and it's gonna be the most important thing that I've ever made who would you be without writing who would you if you weren't able to get these things that are clearly inside of you out to somewhere whether people are listening to them not yeah like if you if like if I put you in Ryan

[01:42:38] Jacob: Reid's hell and I gave you no notebooks I gave you no voice to get this out who would you be you think you'd be half the man you are today without the ability to get this art if you want express yourself in this way special forces

[01:42:51] Ryan: Murderer I would kill people like I know that sounds really dumb no I think that it doesn't what when I'm trying to push out is I think that there's a lot of us who call us creators

[01:43:04] Jacob: Call us artists call us different left brain thinkers right brain thinking about **** as I think that a lot of

[01:43:12] Ryan: The times people think that what a creator does is for attention they think that what a creator does is for themselves but sometimes it's like this is this is because I have to like it's this thing that like I understand that not everybody has it there's a thing inside of me that if I don't have a conversation with it or let it let it have a conversation with the rest of the world it's gonna eat me alive so I think it's something that like is a genuine calling that will just fester in us if we don't get out no another thing I'd be it's con dark I think I'd be a drunk

[01:43:41] Jacob: Yeah yep I think I would I think without

[01:43:47] Ryan: Music - - without art to figure out who I am and be able to

[01:43:56] Jacob: You know like get all of this craziness out into something that even if you know

[01:44:04] Ryan: Even if not everybody hears it I at

[01:44:07] Jacob: Least was able to give it life whether that's through the keys or through the drum pads you know whether it's through the piano or the vocals like I was able

[01:44:19] Ryan: To breathe through arts I think I would

[01:44:24] Jacob: Probably implode I think I would self empty out and I think I would just spiral into a lot of vice damn it me too yeah I don't know if I'd be a good for sure that you know we just sat out hope that it's Oh be a good person because I feel like I have a decent heart yeah but I know so I don't know it's hard to contend with me on this it's hard to it's a lot to deal with like it's a lot to like put into words but it's even harder when you can't put it into words when it's like the wind those words that like you'd like that you just spoke that are on your phone that are on papers that are on that are in songs already those words are in you know a lot of times and sometimes they're just taking up a room it's like I don't know how to understand this thing but getting it out so I just I always want to like put a hole in it put a peg in it because I think that even people who even if

[01:45:13] Ryan: You're not trying to be on a stage even if you're not trying to be a rapper musician and producer if you are able to

[01:45:20] Jacob: Get lyrics out if you can write songs if you just sing by yourself if you get any words on paper even if it's just journaling to yourself it's so healing I think that so many humans can benefit from just **** writing and getting out the words that they don't know are inside of them agreed you know

[01:45:34] Ryan: I mean you don't gotta show anybody ever yeah I don't have to do it for yourself yep yeah I am with that I have a quick question do you do you by chance have

[01:45:45] Jacob: Like juice or anything sugar yes I definitely do let me go grab okay I can tell that my blood Sugar's low which is another funny thing as you start to really start to read your body yeah that's good that you would read your body let me go run and grab that real quick if you want to entertain you talk about entertain the people all right

[01:46:02] Ryan: Here's what you need to talk about you need to talk about you gameplan and keep in mind that your girl was right down the road so you gotta handle that while I'm upstairs here's the Sarat scenario I'm getting you some juice and you just see a **** zombie hand punch through that window okay that means I have a limited time to look around at my surroundings I need to figure out what's around me so we have the good thing is that we're in a basement that has been turned into a music studio so there's a lot of metal there's a lot of heavy things I have a microphone stand which is it one of the round based ones it is one of the round based ones oh man for those of y'all that don't know the round bases are usually the concrete of like the so obviously so that the mic

[01:46:47] Jacob: Stand stays upright so if I flip that upside down take the top off I got like a three-foot basically like hammer like

[01:46:58] Ryan: War hammer of concrete so I'm probably

[01:47:01] Jacob: Gonna use that to see the one that breaks its hand through the wall or through the window I come running at it

[01:47:08] Ryan: I smash that **** and just beat the **** out of him hopefully and then I obviously check out that window to see how many more we got

[01:47:19] Jacob: Okay next Karissa who brought me here she's about like well luckily she's only like three blocks down so that's not too terrible I can make that happen and so I'm gonna call her after I beat

[01:47:34] Ryan: The **** out of that first zombie and oh thank you so much you brought me all the things okay where we have these zombies as you're pouring this alright so basically what I did was I your mic stand I was telling the people that those the round based mic stands usually have the accrete bottoms yeah they're heavy so I'm gonna take the top out of that I'm gonna use that as like a warhammer to at least kill the one that's jumping through the window or trying to jump through the window then I got a survey the scene I got to see how many are in your yard yeah and then I got a call Karissa and be like yo are you dead yet right are you still alive should I do I need to come you because if you already did then bummer it's every man for himself like I'm not gonna waste my time forehead so like I'm just saying if you don't answer right it's a done deal so she answers and she's like yeah but they're like coming in from in

[01:48:28] Ryan: Crouching us from all angles she's still at that coffee shop I'm like all right see if you can like barricade yourself with bookshelves cuz that's also a library right there's coffee things there so there's gotta be something that's like metal and heavy not let's try to arm yourself with some even if it's a lamp all right I'll be there probably not like a paper book maybe like a hardcover book ideally

[01:48:50] Jacob: Right and then um so then I'm like I bro you have a decision to make I gotta go get Carissa I go with you okay so no down with me all right so the good no stutter I got it perfect I appreciate you for that honorable respect so we have like luckily the door is right there so as long as they haven't gotten into the house and whatnot we can skedaddle out of here pretty easily worst-case scenario we could fit through that window you have weight sets in your garage so we're gonna need to go I gotta work out real quick no we need heavy things okay um so we can arm ourselves with some dumbbells and then

[01:49:28] Ryan: Or even like the bench bar the

[01:49:31] Jacob: Bench press bar right scoops 45 man do just get and get spinning in a circle and that thing my backyard you could take out 25 - sighs I don't know if you have guns uh no I'm just getting it like

[01:49:44] Ryan: I have some like secret gun thing I'm just **** bird from Trevor's next door know what you ask everybody there zombie questions so I'm not gonna be surprised if you hit a button and run just kinda prepare nexor just like flips upwards and then it's just like maybe it is I don't know what I would do though like I dude it's so crazy to think about like

[01:50:03] Jacob: You think that you could handle it but I think when even came down to like the act of any of us humans actually

[01:50:09] Ryan: Like trying to hit like even though it's a zombie who's trying to kill you can be so hard to make your brain and actually like kill like smash a head i'd-- another like person thing I think when you I think humans when they're backed up against the wall you know capable instincts come out and I think that adrenaline would allow you to smash the **** out of zombie right Elyse doesn't girls I'm dead if I don't you know it's do or die it's killer be killed but then the next question is so here's the hard part about the zombie thing right the zombie thing sucks because I would

[01:50:39] Jacob: Rather fast forward like six months into

[01:50:43] Ryan: The zombie apocalypse and live then

[01:50:46] Jacob: Right okay because it's the first if you

[01:50:49] Ryan: Survive the initial chaos you your

[01:50:53] Jacob: Chances skyrocket a super true because then you're fighting people almost like I know how to fight zombies I'll kill him real quick but then it's just like other **** right and then so what do you need you need food actually

[01:51:05] Ryan: I'm screwed yeah you just realized your son oh my god I never even thought about the insulin thing so I have to not only raid a grocery store but I got to make sure that grocery store has a pharmacy mmm-hmm and I need to raid all of their insulin right and then I need to figure out how I could survive like like I'd have to figure out how to make **** insulin like you just see we'd have to get like a bunker situation and we'd have to start like a quick little month-long science thing where we just like we'll just somehow learn how to synthesize whatever you have for your blood sugar I need to start that now yeah well I mean they did it on I am Legend like Will Smith seemed to be able to figure out the whole lab thing so we should be able to see the situation he was in it starts in the good part it starts in the okay and like he's already got I mean it starts with him already having a habit he's already got really

[01:51:54] Jacob: **** trained canine companion like you know he's yeah it's true I worry about the initial chaos of getting what you need to bunker down when everybody's freaking out the military is freaking out people are getting killed not only by zombies but other humans desperation kicks absolutely once you make it past that first wave and you figured out how to have a semi-regular food supply and

[01:52:20] Ryan: Ideally ammunition and guns yeah you get a lot better chance I feel like there'd be so many like in a town like this there's so many **** with guns who just love shooting their guns like anyway just des monts whatever I feel like what if what if like we're all concerned about it's like ya know Castle Rock Washington is completely fine because they've been defending their own yeah like just set up barricade we just have a bunch of **** like on their houses and recliners just shooting zombies with shotguns I could picture it I had a to your father I think maybe he's retired mr. Clausen he was a history teacher

[01:52:54] Ryan: Yeah so he was a he was just baller-ass teacher I just I loved him but I always pictured like if there's a zombie apocalypse I feel like I'd probably make my way to his house cuz he would be on the roof just Cap'n zombies like he would show us like history movies and then he would just like stop it like he would **** like he would show us like the war scene from Coral Harbor but then like the other stuff started and he just stopped the movie man I can't all **** lies look he was just like he would be like not let us deal with the **** just tell us the truth so but then here's the thing is that it

[01:53:24] Jacob: Depends what type is Ami's you know that's all it depends on you know other words these zombies were toasty we're toasted world I never saw a movie was that the really fast one with Brad Pitt yeah do they suppress that a sacrifice I can I've to they were kinda like ants like they'll like sacrifice themselves like stack each other on each other to get over this wall see that's like that's scary yeah done it's the like shoot what was that popular show forever walking dead all right if it's like those zombies I feel a lot more safe with that yeah they're slower like the um the ones from I am Legend mm-hmm yeah like superhuman started to get smarter and smarter right that can think yeah okay then we got some other questions and also honestly I haven't

[01:54:07] Jacob: Even I don't even have like enough canned food you know what I mean yeah I have like a chicken yeah I wouldn't last very long I would definitely have to like get some supplies that's for sure and then you got to be willing if it came down to it if it came down between like your camp like you and your loved ones versus somebody else in their loved ones right you got to be willing to do what you have to do to survive the humanity is going to lose ya know like you're gonna

[01:54:32] Ryan: It's gonna the people that the heartless **** that already have like the crazy Doomsday Preppers they're like yeah who's **** laugh and now you don't I mean they're gonna be so confident oh man they're so stoked to

[01:54:45] Jacob: You know what they're actually they're so stoked because they're like yeah I am your God now like y'all are clamoring to me I didn't I meet you denied me for Seoul all right I feel like that's kind of how some of our politicians get in some ways but hey

[01:55:04] Ryan: All the other conversation give me a

[01:55:07] Jacob: Let's roundabout on here we'll give you another you know 15 20 whatever you're comfortable with let's go with ya I mean I'm down to go until you're like right this is way too long well I want it I mean it's not too long for me I definitely do want to make sure I cover some Soho I mean I think I'm at like in total I was like we can go yeah oh yeah no I just wanted to make sure we hit a couple things and then let it go from there and tell me

[01:55:32] Ryan: About HAFLife okay I feel like because

[01:55:37] Jacob: You know I want to hear it from like the I want to inspire people who are like you're all back up a bit I always had this like **** it I'll do it myself thing like it like I wrote it's like a rust thing that I grab onto but even before Russ is mentality that I loved there's always this like like if nobody's gonna put me on a put myself on like when I when I first started throwing shows when I first started DJing like I like I didn't know what to do I just thought music was cool and I thought electronic music was cool there was nowhere to play it and so I just start throwing my own shows put myself on build my own thing and I want to like inspire anybody who is maybe has an idea and I kind of wonder if I could do it but like nobody in their life tells them that they should do it because it's like you know it is hard work and it does start small but it does grow and it grows into these different things so I don't know keep in mind that

[01:56:30] Ryan: That I think you're super **** inspiring and I think whatever you tell do whatever your truth is going to be inspiring for anybody who's starting the journey so tell me what halfway right okay so HAFLife is

[01:56:42] Jacob: Something that started as a belief

[01:56:46] Ryan: System that always had the similar core but it has like grown and evolved multiple times so if you throw it all the way all the way back it's a joke half was like this joke that started with me and my cross country buddies and it did not stand for whole permission fortitude it started first the four hardest **** and it was super sarcastic like we this was the time when like the word Yolo was like a very normal popular thing like it was right and we always did it as like a like a parody of Yolo

[01:57:15] Jacob: It was like all bro hard is **** I wouldn't actually you know like we painted that we're like hard as **** right yeah but so it started that right and then the reason that it's stuck around and what a lot of people you know probably understand is the reason I stuck around is because that was my initial core support system like we so it went this was back and then another thing is that it started

[01:57:39] Ryan: As half clan which obviously we changed for obvious reasons because effect the word clan was not like a you wouldn't even faze yourself with that word back then we were gamers oh well that's what you do you clan up yeah on night either xbox or ps3 we all play Call of Duty

[01:57:59] Jacob: Right and so half clan was our clan like that on Call of Duty it had nothing to do with you know any sorta isn't it piss you off that like stupid groups take away an entire word well here's a deal if I would have been open my if I would

[01:58:16] Ryan: Have like looked at the US and as a whole and looked at my and you know like thought about my future more I would have been like this is probably not something that we want to enter music let alone hip-hop with you don't

[01:58:34] Jacob: Have it right I get that my scope wasn't that big right you know like this is so it started this in cross country and then we all hung out like every weekends and we gamed you know and it was like half clan was our was our gamertag right and that's what that so then when I started like first doing music and I started like first doing shows guess who like we came we squad my very first show and I remember cuz it pissed off all like the older artists and **** cuz I'm like 18 at the time I'm young as **** and like there was like nobody really at the show it was that loss trochus and I showed up like 30 people deep just like a bunch of kids right and it was a lot of them were the cross country kids

[01:59:15] Ryan: My gamer dudes and wrestlers do you want I mean you some bros yeah and so like we squat out 30 deep and then they all ended up we went first they made me go first cuz like the new kid nobody knows me so we're all raging for my **** and then and then after I'm done performing they all leave mm-hmm and then all the others like well people get worried yeah

[01:59:39] Jacob: Dude it's I didn't even understand the scene back then so like it just naturally transitioned into my core families so yeah he's stuck and then I

[01:59:48] Ryan: Wanted it to mean something more and so

[01:59:52] Jacob: That's when the acronym came and this was like this was about the time that's um you know I had max already explained this in his interview but you know I asked him to come and hype man and then we started making music together and then he just like we just became Bros on it like you know we it became an us thing pretty quickly right like even though I started it he became apart pretty early on and has been obviously you know a huge part of it and that was about when we wanted we thought we wanted to take it more seriously and so I decided to change it to hope and mission forward to because I want it to be something I wanted to stay with half

[02:00:26] Ryan: Because of the roots you know and I didn't want to leave those but I wanted it to mean something because we always wanted to be we still wanted to be empowering so that's our HAFLife came out or have claim at the time and then

[02:00:38] Jacob: You know max took you a whole through the whole thing of bringing on Yanis later on and then you know just recently we brought on three other

[02:00:47] Ryan: Artists but the whole thing about HAFLife was self-sufficiency and DIY like we I knew we were not gonna be accepted by the industry I mean we were hardly even accepted by our own City you

[02:01:03] Jacob: Know let alone other town states you know like in the whole industry I knew that we were going we were not gonna be accepted by everybody so that's when that natural DIY energy started to take over and we started doing everything that we could by ourselves from the jump yeah and so we started throwing more shows you know I got and you know like the first show I got handed to me and then cat caught fever after that and I started just like trying to figure out who the promoters were who was the movers and shakers name in there so long view right so like not really much at all

[02:01:39] Ryan: But I still had to work with what I had and then so then we just started doing all these shows and we were trying we're trying we're trying to knit was like y'all corny oh don't matter like you're not gonna make it and then Anna and I we just I just kept lon and it's kept pushing and like it was if you had to boil down the DIY part of it's

[02:01:59] Jacob: Absolutely lack of acceptance you know what I mean like that you'll do right and so it's like you know like you said wolf nobody's gonna do it for me I'm gonna do for myself and that's why nowadays with like you

[02:02:13] Ryan: Know we put our own shows together you know I go I go right to the venue and I

[02:02:19] Jacob: Don't even deal with the Booker half the time I'll go right to the venue and be like who's in charge who don't need to talk to I need to get a date and then we get it down and then I talked to the charities about you know throwing it in their name and their man or you don't I mean like I put the lineup together and we handle everything as an in-house unit right and that's because like you know it went from getting **** on to finally started getting accepted and then people tried to start taking advantage of us and like you know basically trying to like get a little you know her off of **** that I worked for them that we worked for that we built you know and so that's not gonna **** fly and so like I and also I just got tired of the way the scene does things like it's so selfish it's so crabs in a bucket everybody would just be so willing to throw down their fellow man to raise himself up a little bit when really like what like oh we're all battling for the scene what **** scene yeah what scene it like and so I just got tired of the egos I got

[02:03:22] Jacob: Tired of like walk Portland's this Portland's that what the okay says who yeah right who's the brain who if you become McLemore and blow up who granted who was also a cornball I respect what he did I do I respect what he did but musically not my favorite but I respect you know that he like came up where nobody really did he did his own thing many exactly so like that I respect it like the way he moved I respected I was like if you do that in Portland you can start trying to make some calls about Portland you know there's obviously some there's some people that some of some older heads that have been in the province in forever and I don't even try and like you know look that's yeah absolutely y'all but

[02:04:04] Ryan: That's the thing is I think that's the thing that you did though is it's not about we think there's gatekeepers and we're like okay well I'm doing this music so I got to go who are the hip-hop God so I have to ask permission to play hip-hop in their town in do I gotta suck

[02:04:16] Jacob: You know it's no it's like hey I want to do something that's it so it's own thing it's just for us it's a thing that we do and I'm gonna do it this way and I'm gonna and you could cut out the middleman I think so many people think that there's a gatekeeper magic like oh I got to go to this guy who knows this guy so I don't disrespect this and I mean I there is a thing about culture and you know like not stepping on culture but I also think that **** can be so **** boxing in and stupid so let me give let me get something said like alright just because I want to do things my own way does not

[02:04:50] Ryan: Mean that I do not respect the culture right the culture of music the culture of hip-hop the culture of Portland right I'm just not going to try to pretend like I'm an advocate for the culture because that's not my place excellent I can still build my company and be successful and hopefully give to the

[02:05:09] Jacob: Culture because I respect like you know I'm trying to get I'm trying to get rid of the stigma that is like so selfish right so like I respect the culture but a lot of these other people who are way more like justified to represent the

[02:05:25] Ryan: Culture I just feel like they aren't

[02:05:28] Jacob: Doing their best representation like you know and there's some that are but then there's others that aren't because of the ego and the selfishness and the crabs in a bucket mentality so me wanting to do things my own way is it ignoring the culture or thinking that I can represent it better it's not my place not my **** job but I love to make music I love to put on shows I love to

[02:05:51] Ryan: Give back to the community I love I love what I do and I respect what I do and that's why I'm not gonna take no for an answer Yeah right like you could be like you don't belong here that's okay

[02:06:04] Jacob: Yeah right exactly like I love what I do I love art I love music and I love to be able to give people amazing entertainments and then when I can give it back it's why we did the Doernbecher show the YWCA show that's why we did the toy drive mm-hm you know where's more of that you know right not trying to be a dick but like nobody who else is doing that right you know what I mean so that's everybody's looking out for number one man you know community is something I always like to expand on the word community on this podcast what's your what's your view on community I mean obviously you create your own community that's for sure and that's prevalent but there also is like you trickle into other communities akyuu my talk about like trappers persona

[02:06:44] Ryan: Purse trauma for example he does a back flip back and back way back when and then all set numbers ago we can do back flips and then two big sighted people are doing back flips so like I think you even in your own community like with with your HAFLife that's your community you know and obviously it's expanding farther and farther and it has its reach its arms its veins but

[02:07:02] Jacob: Just by you loving your own community and you guys all like believing each other within yours even just like going anywhere near other communities it inspires them and it pushes them to me

[02:07:13] Ryan: Expand on community for me what's right

[02:07:15] Jacob: So if you from an outside perspective see and feel that then I am I am doing my job like one thing that we talk a lot about you know because Rula Delgado is a very inspiring artist very inspiring human and the things that he's done for his Portland scene especially in the lgbtqia+ I think I got them all you know

[02:07:44] Ryan: Basically the scene of like

[02:07:46] Jacob: People who are struggling with self-identity right and that the inspiring things that he's been able to do with people who struggle with their identity you know because he's a big overweight black gay rapper and he's like but guess what not only can I love Who I am you can love who you are too oh yeah and it's incredible I mean strapped a pride flag around that dudes neck so that he could wear it on Moda center stage with no shirt on and do a song about getting blackballed by his community when he came out of the closet yeah a rapper right and so like we talk about this all the time because I am I get inspired by that **** every day for his willingness to be who he is be honest with himself right and inspire other people to be honest yeah I mean him talking about all the time with a strong-ass place that he stands man

[02:08:35] Ryan: Right it's incredible and he has the power to really and that's one of the reasons that you know I really wanted him to be a part of HAFLife is because he's exactly what we're working towards and what we're striving for and so we talk about all the time he's like dude I he's like I feel like he's like I feel like I finally found family like he's he can tell you his own upbringing story he'd be a great guest to have on what

[02:08:58] Jacob: Have a month yeah but he has his own story that you know I not my place to talk about but he's like I finally like I feel like I have a family and I fit in and so we just want that to resonate and we want that to spread you know what I mean and so for you to like I said from an outside perspective feel like you're already starting to see that then I'm doing my job right you don't mean like I want I like I want you to wake up and feel a little more empowered than you did yesterday you know what I mean like I want you I want you to win the fight you know do I want everybody to win their fight one if you can do that by filling your cup right that you feel it filling your cup so much that it overflows right not in the traditional cup runneth over sense yeah not like a like let's just see how I can fill my cup just for me and keep it to myself it's like you fill your cup like you focus on what's good for you focus on your community and you guys up you guys bring each other up

[02:09:54] Jacob: Right you guys are fulfilling to each other and then that overflows that's exactly it and here's the thing man is that like community I feel like is

[02:10:03] Ryan: Something that gets really lost

[02:10:07] Jacob: Misunderstood misconstrued and you know

[02:10:11] Ryan: It's really just like giving a ****

[02:10:14] Jacob: About your fellow human you know what I mean and wanting to see your other human thrive and we're in a weird place like society wise politically you know no matter how you feel about the current president you can't some whether you like him or hate him you can't say that he hasn't increased the divide between you know ideas and and thoughts and beliefs and like all of this division is starting to resonate in communities whereas now what aching and what if you're in the clique what if you and somebody else have always been in the same community loved each other support each other whatever and then all of a sudden you find out that one of you is a trump supporter and one of you is a Bernie Sanders supporter mm-hmm how many people like that are strong enough to put personal political beliefs aside yeah and still want each other to thrive right now that we're starting to see dissolve like because of your personal beliefs now you have to go on

[02:11:15] Ryan: The offensive and you can't want your

[02:11:19] Jacob: Other fellow human to thrive as much right which you know seems like oh sorry shitty but that's what we do yeah you know what I mean so like I don't know I guess like where we're going into like we're starting to move into a place

[02:11:32] Ryan: Where it sees like all inclusive or all

[02:11:35] Jacob: Exclusive you know and we're starting to see that Venn diagram start to separate yeah why I ain't about that no I ain't about I'm about connection I have front from my left shoulder braid blade to my right shoulder blade I have the words humanity in the negative space tattooed in and you know sometimes I

[02:11:52] Ryan: **** and I literally like wonder what it

[02:11:55] Jacob: Means to me like because it seemed like the definition changes sometimes and I think through all this **** through all the Trump through all the burning through all the **** you're 20 years old you're 25 years old through all this the one common thing we all have is where none of us know **** and we're all humans you know I mean right like **** man we got to be on each other's side it's not it's humans against all of our problems it's not all of us against each other manners and so I think community and expanding on what community is and just like letting other people you know you believe in it I know and so if you look if you if you look at it from like a historical standpoint there has always been war no matter what right but technically we're a lot more open-minded and aware than we were back then like at least we're not at least we're going in the direction over time where we're killing each other less

[02:12:48] Ryan: Because of your specific for instance

[02:12:50] Jacob: Religious beliefs you know I mean we're back then they would just decimate an entire like civilization because one was Catholic one was Christian you know or we've definitely grown right so then it's like so as we get into the most aware I was talking to somebody else talking us might lyft driver the other day and he's like in his 70s and he's like I'll tell you one thing like you guys you're the generation cuz I've seen like four generations and I was like yeah that's crazy for you to say that because usually they're just like you're lazy and entitled he's like I've seen four generations and there was not one of those generations with a generation before them didn't say you're lazy entitled so he's like don't trip on that too much they men say in that moment he's like but you all the first ones to come up with like to grow up with unlimited resource and unlimited knowledge because of cell phones internet technology oh that's the writ like it seriously say that again we have unlimited knowledge limb if you

[02:13:49] Jacob: Have a question you don't have to ask your aunt who knows everything about rocking like if you have any question about cooking the Internet has every answer you need so the point that he made that was so important was that we

[02:14:01] Ryan: Are less likely to be stuck to our closed-minded beliefs of our immediate families friends and ancestors which I thought was huge it's like we're in the biggest time where like you can have

[02:14:18] Jacob: Whatever type of mind you want you could stand by whatever you want to stand by you're not just limited to like what my parents believed or because if you look at things like racism is like very taught it's very you know what I mean like more my parents and my grandparents and my great-grandparents you want a meme that was never questioned right but now you can question anything so like it's just crazy to see this divide that's happening between like love and hey and where that's gonna go into the future now that we are all more connected than we've ever been and I hope that it goes in the direction of open-mindedness right but only time will tell I think that as artists and people who you know people look up to you and I in a certain way it's you know at least a handful once in a while right so I think by just like seeing that and

[02:15:08] Jacob: Seeing it from an outside perspective and being like well you know as much as we talk about communities and in people doing this and people doing that like we are the people and we are the communities right so you know listener if you're it ever and any sort of leadership role of any sorts if somebody's looking up to you whether it's a little kid whether it's your neighbor whether it's you are the person in your neighborhood who never ever forgets to put your garbage out right what you're doing man people are watching be inspiring be dude it's

[02:15:36] Jacob: The craziest **** time in right now what's happening in the world especially the internet and all the political crap is there's little tornadoes it's like hey it wherever there's a problem or wherever there's a disagreement we now have a magnifying glass from the disagreement we've stirred up and we give it a little tornado and we and all the problems come up and what we're doing is we're like we're fighting all the problems we're punching out the **** debris and the air try and like no that's bad that's evil this is evil no here's what I believe in but we need to remember that like the dust is gonna settle you know this **** dust is gonna settle and in who you are through all this crazy **** in America right now you know give yourself some grace and let yourself change and let yourself grow let yourself look at your actions and see

[02:16:21] Ryan: How they let yourself build your own community how about that right now yeah and understand that the example that you set may or may not be followed by a

[02:16:32] Jacob: Number of people that you don't even realize you know like if you set an actin a accidental bad example you know thinking I will you know that's not gonna resonate that's that he you know was what was that like the butterfly effect you know and the raindrop you know you know you know like you said you don't know how many people are looking up to you and are inspired by that and so like whatever type of examples you're setting is gonna resonate beyond what you think it is especially with social media and everybody on earth seeing exactly what examples you're setting yeah exactly that's crazy thing about social media that's a whole nother hugging I'm always

[02:17:11] Jacob: Going off about social media it's such a blessing and a curse I think the biggest thing that I just love saying on social media really quick is like why do you feel need to be connected all the time right you see just saying just take a look at that like I like it you know it's even cell phones even texting if you think about it so something that like in the last two years that like my friends been super cool about understanding is like yeah I'm gonna text Jake and he's probably not gonna be back till tomorrow right like I'm not available like in my life and my mental health is better for it and I think that a lot of people who are very addicted to social media like I was I was crazy to Cru social media just take a look if it's **** pulling you in a little too much and know that it's okay to take a break completely texting all this you can take a break from your phone right so the unfortunate thing is when you have a business but no I was

[02:18:01] Ryan: Gonna say it's gonna get worse because

[02:18:05] Jacob: Like you know this is and a lot of people been saying this you know sound off I'm just being a betta or beating it will go the dead horse cuz I don't know if I'm being a dead horse here but like when people go through middle school they are so impressionable and

[02:18:23] Ryan: That's when they mentally build like

[02:18:28] Jacob: Validation and what validation means to them and what validation means to society absolutely so we're actually the last of

[02:18:37] Ryan: The generation that are like me and you are old enough to where we didn't have to go through social media

[02:18:45] Jacob: Validation in like middle school right now these people are going through middle school with like Instagram and

[02:18:54] Ryan: Facebook oh my gosh likes Iife it makes me like a sad and nervous for like right

[02:19:00] Jacob: So we're not teaching the right

[02:19:03] Ryan: Validation habits and it's just it's

[02:19:06] Jacob: Making you know so then all the sudden you know you like your slave to that phone because that phone you're valid your sense of self-worth and your sense of validation is now that phone meaning you are that like you are slave to that phone because without that you don't feel so you don't feel validated don't feel like you're with you feeling comfortable you don't like you don't like sitting in a room where you like I'm not touching my phone like that feeling that you get where you have to grab your phone that's what that is you're avoiding feeling there right and you know what and that's something that like so you know you said that I inspire you but like you really got to understand how much that you inspire me and a lot of that is because you've

[02:19:44] Ryan: Really like taking your own mental state

[02:19:48] Jacob: Into your own hands and you've you know

[02:19:52] Ryan: You like your process your

[02:19:55] Jacob: Journey of disconnecting so that you can refine Jake Ryan's or find Jake grounds for the first time if that's the case you know I mean that is so strong and

[02:20:05] Ryan: Powerful because like most people don't have the strength to even think about what they might be like in their own strength in their own mind state right and like I come into here and you have all of this riding on the walls and you have all of these sticky notes everywhere of just your thoughts and ideas and you're willing to sit with your ideas and not feel like you have to run away to either an escape on your phone or run away to validation from others on your phone for you to start to feel okay and that process dude is like you're one of the greatest humans that I know and like I've missed yeah super honored to be your friend for that reason because that is so strong like which shouldn't that shouldn't be a thing yeah right you shouldn't have to think that like oh he doesn't use his phone he doesn't use the phone all the time like what a strong human yeah well bird it dude it to it said thanks so much for saying that I really I really appreciate that because you're very inspiring to me as a friend but I think that like it's

[02:21:07] Jacob: Something new as humans man like it's something that like you got to kind of look at where we're at in 2020 and you know 2007 when iPhone was invented to 2020 13 years man look at human beings take yourself out of the equation and look at us on a timeline in a history book and think about like what are they going to be typing up about like how are the humans affected by the cell phones like bro you gotta take a look at that and realizing you're one of them you're one of them right now in a we record but uh but do it and one thing I was one emphasize is like I and I in this is part of me I'm trying to get good at taking compliments because sometimes I finally it's dissociate and reject it and so no but I want to emphasize that like I'm not a perfect man I've had many mistakes I've had many flaws I probably have more flaws you know or a but probably make more mistakes but I am able to what happened to social media thing is I was able to like take a look at the mistakes look at

[02:22:02] Jacob: The ways that I was doing that the ways that I was thinking in realizing like this isn't gonna last for me this is stupid this is this is not in my benefit and just taking and honestly like the typical part of like you know they say addiction is like admitting that you have a problem and it sounds corny and when we've heard that a million times but like dude with cell phones and like validation of other people like I definitely had a problem like I had a problem with seeking validation and people looking up to me and making sure I was popular and also making sure that I kept this like everybody thinks I'm a nice guy like I don't want to cry in front of people because then they're gonna think that I'm just lying and like opening up to see that you are this way

[02:22:42] Ryan: And say like it's not really benefiting me though right and then being able to go from there and say what can I take off like what armor can I start to remove and mic **** dude for me it start moving scales and skin and more and more

[02:22:55] Jacob: You know I break it I believe in but you're like it's gonna but it's so worth it I just think like you know I want to do good and I want to be a good man I haven't always been perfect and I'm not gonna be perfect but I want it yeah but yeah and I think just like realizing

[02:23:12] Ryan: That we're all like that like we're all like I'm a man I've been a boy I have boy tendencies like you're a man you've been a boy yeah boy tendencies like same thing with females like any of us just know that your life is

[02:23:25] Jacob: Worth it to just say you know what I'm gonna start over I'm gonna I'm gonna rethink my thoughts they're not **** helping me out just be willing to like lose the attention for a while lose the attention from social media lose the momentum that you like I like you know I lost a lot of gigs just DJing like because I wasn't responding to my Facebook post I wasn't responding my Instagram cuz I deleted that **** but it's like so I lost out on those but my life grew in so many other

[02:23:54] Ryan: Ways I think we got to be willing to sacrifice a lot of what we have to build what we what we know we can be and have love faith in ourselves and but that balance also is so hard because of

[02:24:04] Jacob: The fact that businesses have rebranded

[02:24:09] Ryan: The way they work to revolve around

[02:24:12] Jacob: Social media as well mm-hmm you know it means that's the only thing about like having a you know being a DJ comes with a same with you know what I'm doing is that it's almost a necessary part when businesses are going out of business because they refuse to adapt to social media yeah that's everywhere that's dude like it like it's like it when I go to eat somewhere like if I go look and see if their hours are open or what their menu is and like if they're online doesn't like match up or they don't have like a menu I'm gonna be at well next right like exactly this is how the world works exactly so but there is a huge balance like not letting it suck you in like me saying like well I have a DJ business I have to stay online it's not an excuse for me to check my phone every six minutes you know exactly like don't do email bro I think and I think that anybody who wants to cut down their social media use I know that's not exactly what we're talking about but just in that specific subject just give yourself like set the

[02:25:05] Ryan: Timers or just say like I don't do notifications and I don't check it randomly like I check it every day at 8 p. m. or I check it every day at 5 p. m. I let myself have a half hour and then I do not check that **** until 5 p. m. the next day or whatever it is set some limits for yourself I think and then also just I guess just inspiring people to be the best versions of themselves so I think just realizing that wherever you're at you're not

[02:25:32] Jacob: Your thoughts you know like we have those Wolf's we you know sometimes all our thoughts are the bad wolf man like they're just they're just cravings and desires and in **** you know and realizing that

[02:25:46] Ryan: Like having faith that you can start to

[02:25:49] Jacob: Fill your brain with in your body in your life with those good thoughts even when they're not there thinking that just I want to give any listener like I'm proof of that like I had no good thoughts like I hated myself I wanted to die that's what I thought about but I sat down here and I just looked at the wall with a pen in my hand I was like **** dude what do I think what's going like why do

[02:26:09] Ryan: I think like this what's happening here I started riding at dude and I started just I don't know I mean I just want to I want to make sure everybody knows like if you're in the **** darkest pits here's a good one Ryan tell me think of back to one of your most dark moments growing up as an artist as a man as a teenager as a mid-20s think what would if you could reach back in time was a **** portal that opens up in time to when you were 20 or 16 or whatever right and it grabs you by the shirt collar and it's you from the future and it says listen here **** here's what you need to hear what would you tell him oh

[02:26:46] Jacob: Man was they need to hear what did you need to hear at any point in your life

[02:26:55] Ryan: Probably stop trying so hard to be

[02:27:06] Jacob: Something or not which I know that's

[02:27:09] Ryan: Also kind of cliche but like really like if I if I could get back all the years of me trying so hard to be this persona

[02:27:24] Jacob: That I wasn't to be and because I'm still suffering from that I know that there's a lot of people that have a negative view of Who I am because of the way that I used to act and a lot of years that I've spent pretending out somebody that I wasn't and like I'll

[02:27:42] Ryan: Have people I'll have people now even

[02:27:45] Jacob: Like you know people that I knew from like way back and the bag I mean like yeah you used to be such a douche bag and I'm like that's fair but what you know but I haven't I guess I haven't done enough job and this probably because I don't you know spend too much time on social media like being personal personal there's still a lot of people that think still that person and I feel like I've got a small-town thing for sure right and if I put a lot of effort into just becoming a good human you know and I don't say that like I'm such a good dude you know what I mean I mean like I've really tried to be a good human and

[02:28:26] Ryan: Like care and be there for people that are in my life that need it

[02:28:32] Jacob: And like I've just really tried to just be I don't even know how to put it with I was just a good human and I feel like a lot of decisions and ways that

[02:28:44] Ryan: I acted in the past now even overshadow

[02:28:47] Jacob: That still to this day you know so if I

[02:28:51] Ryan: Didn't spend so much time just like cuz at the time I didn't know who I was and so instead of taking the time to figure out who I was and in coming to myself I just like built this persona but it's like ego centric **** persona because

[02:29:06] Jacob: I was and part of that stems from the fact that I was so just upset with nobody like really believing to me and like everybody clowning on me then I was finally like I then **** y'all you know what I mean then if y'all come believe in me then like you know it's me first the world like you know **** everybody else and this and that and then like that just made me just a dark human and you know human that I'm not proud of and so that sucks that still a lot of people still have that image of me yeah I think that I

[02:29:39] Ryan: Think that like a lot of times people

[02:29:42] Jacob: Have opinions of each other or holding on to opinions of each other like that they don't even realize like they'll be like a lot of people wouldn't realize like so if somebody saw you and they hadn't seen him for five years like they're gonna see you and instantly bring back to like I know Ryan he's 19 and he's a cocky **** right but like what doesn't happen but podcasts and things and conversations like this allowed to happen is we put a wedge in and we say hey I know as that person just letting you know if you give me a chance I'm gonna show you that I'm not that person right and that's a big open up you know yeah like it so if that scenario happened where I walk you know I saw somebody that I haven't seen in X amount of years a lot of times you end up not having even like even like a 15-minute

[02:30:22] Ryan: Conversation you'd be like wow he's I feel like he's grown up a lot yeah I love walking away from that like when you see somebody you're like **** that do something good right well then but then you don't even have that conversation so instead of having that 15 minute like completely like paradigm

[02:30:36] Jacob: Shifting conversation you don't have that conversation and then they just continue thinking you're that same dude from five minutes or from five years ago when we could have like a 15 minute conversation and like re meet each other for who we are now all right you know like in the same vice-versa you know I might have preconceived ideas about that person right and so I could like we could just you know hash it out 15 minutes and we bro I think giving each other room to grow like it dude it's always such a good reminder

[02:31:05] Ryan: For me of just like I don't know **** you don't know **** you didn't ask to be born do you remember being asked to be born Ryan Reed right but I didn't I don't remember being at like dude I'm here and I'm going through my **** and I'm sorry that I'm not perfect but like I'm gonna try to get better and in like dude there's nobody walking around saying they have everything figured out there's nobody walking around outside saying I am I am perfect we look at each other and were like oh they think they're so perfect like did they say that to you did they **** say that they like I think just remembering like we're all on our growth period and we're all like every conversation every re meeting

[02:31:41] Jacob: Every like every new day is a new day you know I mean like you can restart and you can give someone else the benefit out you can give them room to change and sometimes that's a lot of you know I really believe in just believing in your homies and believing in even strangers and I think sometimes just believing in someone and letting them have room to grow and breathe I think is enough to like allow them to be back all right well I'm gonna I'm gonna take it in my own hands and actually do what they think do it if more people had that mentality we can

[02:32:15] Ryan: Spread it we would thrive so that's and

[02:32:18] Jacob: You know and that's that's one of the reasons that this podcast is so dope is that it like gives people not only a

[02:32:24] Ryan: Platform to tell their story and hopefully inspire some people around them then the people listening they might be inspired by the fact that they're so open in growth and changed that then they decide to grow and change and then butterfly effect their closest

[02:32:42] Jacob: Homie exactly like man like so you putting yourself on a platform to be able to try to start that ripple effect of just positive growth is just that's **** amazing right hey man is it sounds like everybody in their mother does podcasts these days and so the fact that yours is like yeah but it's for a purpose right it's for a meeting you know what's actually crazy about that brings me back to what we were talking about the beginning about our blinders right is like I honestly do it doesn't even like it doesn't cross my mind the other **** have podcasts like I like I listen to podcasts that I enjoy you know but I'm never like looking at people who are kind of doing what I'm doing like thinking like oh they're already doing that I can't do that like what I'm just I'm literally doing what I believe in

[02:33:24] Ryan: Right I'm just I'm just I'm like oh I know I know cool people I know a fuckload of cool people right and somehow like those cool people allow me to meet new cool people right and I can just talk to him and we'd have cool people conversation it's just yeah but I do it's a talk about like the Microsoft versus the Microsoft versus Apple like Microsoft's they're looking at like how do we beat Apple like what's Apple doing we gotta make you one I actually I think we should because I have to pee too okay um and I'm sweating a little bit you want to just you want to send off the folks oh yeah how deep

[02:33:53] Jacob: Are we're pretty deep it's been deep

[02:34:05] Ryan: That's always my fear is that we're around two hours oh okay yeah we get I mean you should finish your Microsoft Apple thing that yeah and then we'll both piece so this would be the last to my Crescenta Makris off is always looking at like what's Apple do it like what are they doing we gotta hop on that but like Apple is saying what

[02:34:27] Jacob: Does humanity need what is what do we do what are we doing like what they're focusing on themselves not the competition you know and that's that really like max was talking about I said before folks on that 20% that's positive not the 80% that's negative if that's the case right

[02:34:42] Ryan: I think that it's not ain't about alike it's not about blocking out the haters it's literally about just like no you don't need to think about it you just focus on improving your own life and focus on your own lane and creating what you think you need to create and that's all you need to do and that is the war path that I have been on so a wolf of

[02:35:01] Jacob: Wallstreet all right all right Ryan Reed you are a wonderful man you've been a wonderful guest we've got plenty of more crossing

[02:35:18] Jacob: Of paths in life forever hopefully yeah I **** agree is there anything that you want to send off the listeners of the Junkyard Love Podcast off with today thank you for hearing to the listeners for hearing out all of that that is like you know I don't again I know I said this a few times but like I really don't like put enough personal stuff onto social media for them to really know me mmm you don't I mean they know what I'm doing they know what I'm up to because of I'll post the moves what's next show that you know something they know what I'm doing play the game you know they don't know me and this was really this is probably the most me thing I've done that is gonna be public in a long time so just like I hope the listeners stuck it out this far I hope they got to know me has me a little bit and you know I hope they're able to accept me with an open minds and then therefore I hope it inspires them to be able to feel like they can grow as

[02:36:22] Ryan: Well and that they could become a better version of who they were and then you know just work on that undefeated mindset like work on the fact that like the only **** that's gonna bring you down is the **** that you let bring you down yeah and all that just sounds so dumb like sounds good on paper but look

[02:36:39] Jacob: You know look at look at the adversity that I've you know had to handle thus

[02:36:44] Ryan: Far right and maintaining my positivity Through that and like always feeling like you know all right if I just if I just take another step if I just if I just push little harder like you know even from the dark times to the sick times - this and that it's like if I just if I keep pushing keep growing and have that faith that greatness will come from that then it will it will it'll take a long time and you'll be exhausted but you if You chase greatness long enough you will wrassle that **** in and it'll all be worth it yes I believe it so much Ryan Reid founder of HAFLife and tell them where to find you yes so by this point in time because it'll be March you could find everything on HAFLIFEENT.com that is HAF there's no L in F because it's earth there's no Helen F there's no L in half because it is an acronym so it's HAFLife ENT calm or you can find me online on Instagram @ I am Ryan Reed I am Ryan Reed Facebook Ryan Reed

[02:37:44] Jacob: YouTube Ryan Reed pretty much does all

[02:37:47] Ryan: Things Ryan Reed and then a Spotify Apple Music Google Play all that good stuff I'm the first one that pops up when you put in Ryan Reed so wherever you need to find me if you would a neither Ryan Reed or I am Ryan Reed I will pop up but also if you haven't seen that this is for music video the song that I just performed here in spoken

[02:38:07] Outro: Word version if you haven't stripped right exactly stripped down and raw Listen to this is for on either your streaming service or watch the video that's online or on my Facebook so with that being said on YouTube or Facebook so with that being said thank you so much I am Ryan Reed with HAFLife Entertainment here on the Junkyard Love Podcast with the amazing Jake Rhines I love you brother I love you man so glad to have you man thanks so much for this Man absolutely all right have a good last rest your day listeners please Drink some **** water come on