# Episode 037 with Life Coach Rebecca Wyld of Wyld Wellness - Habit Change and Happiness Actualization - Episode: 0037 - Date: 2020-04-23 - Duration: 2:20:45 (8445s) - Guest: [Rebecca Wyld](/guests/rebecca-wyld/) - YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fIhM0OH2C30 (truncated ~1:56:45; full audio via RSS) - RSS: https://share.transistor.fm/s/370cd41f - Audio: https://2.gum.fm/op3.dev/e/pdcn.co/e/pscrb.fm/rss/p/pdst.fm/e/dts.podtrac.com/redirect.mp3/media.transistor.fm/370cd41f/a9541c1f.mp3 ## About Rebecca Wyld is a Life Coach, Cosmetologist, outdoors advocate, motivator, health seeker, self-love practitioner, client-counselor and - story changer. This episode is a holy grail for anyone in search of a little life advice around habit change. Life Coaching - What is it? How did you get started and what do you do with it now? Who is it for? - Rebecca fills in all the blanks for me, and she shares how a small pain in the neck led to trails, inner healing, habit change, and her position towards life now. The philosophy at her company is pretty straight forward - Getting people back to the simple way of living. Here's a quote from Rebecca: "There's so many avenues to health (mental and physical) that people get paralysis by analysis and ultimately end up doing NOTHING. (No bueno!) - So my practice is about guiding people (women) to take empowered action by slowing down and building a solid foundation of a more primitive way of living. - Literally re-learning health. Eat the whole foods. drink the fucking water. intentionally embracing the silence for a few moments. Put down your phone. Put your feet in the grass. Heal yourself. Do the work. Walk before you run. Depression is real. Action is necessary." We share hiking stories and talk about bears, cougars, coyotes, and elephants - we discuss personal path obstacles, the importance of cosmetologists chats in the chair, when to be flexible and when to be rigid, people-pleasing and boundaries. I found we really dove into the weeds of self-actualization and habit change, with recommendations and mindset swaps up for offer. Holistic health, weight loss, self-love, breaking habit loops - Rebecca really offers introspective sparking perspective on all of these valuable and important human attainments. She believes in taking one step at a time, pushing through instant gratification with ACTION and repetition, not identifying with a story of pain and lack, and avoiding confirmation bias of our ill-served belief systems. There's concurrence between us that Inflammation is a total demon, writing is magic, discomfort is growth, and habits can be changed with awareness and persistence. We talk breaking family cycles, reframing interactions and boundaries with one another, energy vampires, creating ritualistic thresholds, mirror work, creating a 'ta'dah!' list, social anxiety and the mindset of making better decisions. Rebecca Wyld loves to learn why people do what they do. She's observant, present, intelligent, and professional. Our interaction was enthralling and filled with valuable information. Greatly appreciative of people like Rebecca for what they do. To get ahold of Rebecca, or to find out more about Wyld Wellness - checkout the Instagram @Wyld_Wellness, Facebook @wyldandwell, or Wyldandwell.com ## Chapters (none published in episode notes) ## Quotes - "Your beliefs are there because of your experiences and then those same experiences confirm your beliefs." - "Why am I being a jerk to myself, is there another way?" - "what if what you actually want is just a lil' bushwhack away?" - "if its your truth, own it!" - "It took a long time for me to be able to look into the mirror and point out the things I loved instead of the things I hate." - "Take me to a place where I feel small" ## Guest links (none published in episode notes) ## Archive picks # Archive picks (from full RSS MP3 ASR transcript + published About) Extracted from the faster-whisper transcript of the full published MP3 (not truncated YouTube) and Jacob’s published About. Labeled separately from Jacob’s published About / Chapters / Quotes / Hashtags. Automatic diarization is imperfect (Jacob/Rebecca may be swapped in places). ## Memorable quotes - [00:51:25] Rebecca: “experiences beliefs Your beliefs are there because of your experiences and then those same experiences confirm your beliefs So if i'm sitting there going I believe that I” - [00:57:04] Rebecca: “god, I'm I am being a jerk to myself that why am I'm gonna keep doing it because it obviously works And then if you can go one” - [01:14:47] Rebecca: “you have to own it if it's your truth own it and then it becomes like If they're gonna make fun of it doesn't matter It's what you're” - [00:13:18] Rebecca: “to a place where I feel small And it's the best thing for me because a lot of things happen and they're overwhelming” - [00:44:05] Rebecca: “that are causing us inflammation learning about all these things that we can do to like help Micro muscles all these little things. I just I just imagine” - [00:50:30] Rebecca: “I just ate as much Whole Foods as possible Drink a lot of water I needed vitamins because I was deficient in some And moving my body I” - [01:35:49] Rebecca: “up with this but the threshold theory So when I was in the salon and I would get that information at the end of the day I would” - [00:00:06] Jacob: “this am It is called awareness by Anthony de Mello. I got this recommendation myself from hearing that Tim Ferriss I don't know if somebody gifted it he” - [00:35:04] Rebecca: “of people's like the cosmetologist. That's what okay That's what I was the beauty people the beauty people Yeah, I think they're an important piece in our life” - [00:39:22] Rebecca: “of my the back of my neck pain Was uh was my eyes And like so I would start because you notice like if you're if you're looking” - [01:54:53] Rebecca: “like I had all like social anxiety and depression and all these things like when she and I first got together Like we would go out to clubs” ## Chapter-style timestamps - [00:00:06](#t-00-00-06) — Opening bumper — Junkyard Love - [00:02:07](#t-00-02-07) — Conversation open — editing / being a beginner - [00:07:15](#t-00-07-15) — Self-love / living well - [00:13:18](#t-00-13-18) — Take me where I feel small - [00:14:43](#t-00-14-43) — Hiking / AllTrails - [00:19:44](#t-00-19-44) — Cougars / bears on hikes - [00:20:34](#t-00-20-34) — Coyotes - [00:21:32](#t-00-21-32) — Boundaries you didn't know you had - [00:25:30](#t-00-25-30) — Flexible vs rigid - [00:28:37](#t-00-28-37) — Life coaching — what it is - [00:35:04](#t-00-35-04) — Cosmetologist chats in the chair - [00:39:22](#t-00-39-22) — Neck pain path into healing - [00:44:05](#t-00-44-05) — Inflammation - [00:50:30](#t-00-50-30) — Whole Foods / re-learning health - [00:51:25](#t-00-51-25) — Beliefs confirmed by experiences - [00:55:22](#t-00-55-22) — Holistic wellness - [00:57:04](#t-00-57-04) — Habit loops - [01:07:27](#t-01-07-27) — Writing is magic - [01:14:47](#t-01-14-47) — If it's your truth, own it - [01:22:52](#t-01-22-52) — Ritual / spiritual practice - [01:26:39](#t-01-26-39) — Breaking family cycles - [01:35:49](#t-01-35-49) — Threshold theory - [01:54:53](#t-01-54-53) — Social anxiety / depression - [02:20:09](#t-02-20-09) — Outro — drink water / get present ## Keywords Rebecca Wyld, Wyld Wellness, Habit Change and Happiness Actualization, Junkyard Love Podcast episode 0037, JYLP 0037, life coach, habit change, self-love, holistic health, hiking, boundaries, inflammation, mirror work, beliefs, bushwhack, cosmetologist, Jacob Rhines ## Hashtags #RebeccaWyld #WyldWellness #JYLP0037 #JunkyardLove #HabitChange #LifeCoach #SelfLove #HolisticHealth #JYLP ## Short guest bio (from episode speech + published About) Rebecca Wyld appears on Junkyard Love episode 0037 — Habit Change and Happiness Actualization. Full RSS/MP3 ASR covers the complete ~2:21 conversation (YouTube upload was truncated ~1:56:45). Jacob’s published notes describe her as a life coach, cosmetologist, outdoors advocate, and founder of Wyld Wellness, oriented toward simple living, habit change, self-love, and holistic health. Guest slug rebecca-wyld is NEW (distinct from rebecca-wild / episode 0110 — different person/spelling; do not merge). Inventory has_quotes=yes / has_timestamps=no / has_hashtags=no / has_guest_links=no. Title conflict none (YT=RSS). Auto diarization imperfect. ## Transcript [00:00:06] Jacob: Hello and welcome to the Junkyard Love Podcast power What's up guys welcome to the Junkyard Love Podcast today's recommendation is in the form of a book I finished this one up audio book style this am It is called awareness by Anthony de Mello. I got this recommendation myself from hearing that Tim Ferriss I don't know if somebody gifted it he gifted to somebody. I think it was a constant gift that he would give to friends This book and I saw that a couple weeks ago or read about it [00:01:18] Rebecca: I heard about it. I was like well, I trust that because I trust that guy definitely check out his podcast to you or any of his books [00:01:23] Jacob: That's another great recommendation there Tim Ferriss But the book recommendation awareness by Anthony de Mello. Check it out. It's great Today's episode is with Rebecca Wyld. It's quite fantastic Fantastical. Hope you guys are doing well. Hope you guys are holding your loved ones close I hope you're looking yourself in the mirror and saying I love you too. Hope you're feeling healthy [00:01:44] Rebecca: Hope you're feeling loved. Hope you're feeling whole [00:01:47] Jacob: Don't forget to don't forget to FaceTime your extrovert friends, you know Don't forget to reach out to the ones who are You know not dealing so well with being at home, you know look out for each other. Take care yourself [00:02:03] Rebecca: Let's get wrong mostly I [00:02:07] Jacob: I've been able to not have to edit much Like it at the bit at the very beginning Kind of funny because I was so self-conscious and like I realized that I said words way too often or I didn't Annunciate very well. And so at the beginning my first like 10 episodes I kept like editing my voice Like I was like, oh, I wish I didn't say that or like I would Someone be talking something serious and I try to throw like a it's like a weird joke in or something It didn't hit and so I'd be listening back to it and I'm like, oh, I should take that out Like but it's funny. It's like dude. That's a conversation that happened Exactly just who you are the person is totally fine. Like they're comfortable. It's It's interesting. We're like so self-critical of ourselves, but we're just who we are, you know, like we try to catch it before someone else does Yeah, this weird protection method like no, I'm gonna find my flaws without people and point it out I'm gonna find it first. Yeah, you can't you can't throw it at me [00:02:58] Rebecca: You can't stab me with the weapon that I took back, but my favorite thing about that is noticing that You are a beginner in something and that if it is your truth And then it doesn't really matter what people say doesn't matter if you've done this one time or one thousand times Or if you are doing it with like low budget stuff or a million dollar production, they're still gonna be haters There's gonna be critics. It doesn't matter. Yeah, I think that we all think that we're like Like just because I'm making a podcast doesn't mean that I'm trying to compete with all the top podcasts [00:03:30] Jacob: No, I'm just doing what the level I'm at like when I make a song I'm not trying to say that I'm better than Drake I'm just making a song because I'm a human being who hears music, you know, like whatever It's crazy. We put a lot on ourselves, but I think that we put a lot on ourselves because we We accidentally kind of put a lot on other people, too Like it's just our way of living like the same things that we do to other people They're doing to us. Yeah, and when you kind of slow it down, you're like, oh, I don't need to do that [00:03:56] Rebecca: I don't need to do that to them because I don't want them doing to me exactly or Jake Can I tell you a secret? Tell me a secret. Okay. It's recording. Oh, then I will tell you the secret Okay, the whole world is a secret when I like when you were changing your platform a little bit the direction that you were going with it I was the same time that I was doing my schooling And so I was seeing it seeing it seeing it and I was watching it grow And there was a part of me like a there was a yucky part that got really Jealous and I did not like how that felt like what the heck I'd like this person [00:04:25] Jacob: Why do I feel like me about it though? I had to actually pause like why are those feelings creeping up when? [00:04:32] Rebecca: The person like you Jake were doing something beautiful [00:04:36] Jacob: You were making a difference and why was it feeling like a threat to me? Oh, it was my own self like criticism I'm not where you're at yet Like I'm going through a program that I'm paying for and I'm going to make money by doing it making a difference I was like crap and then there's part of me that felt bad for charging for it When you're out here making a difference just by people listening to your podcast Oh, right and there was so many elements that I actually sat down with a notebook Like why did this bother me and had to really observe my own emotion. That's actually savage That's what it's the same day you asked me if I would do the podcast. Are you serious after I was like no the more The more that this is available to everyone the more change we can make yeah The more avenues people have the more they see it like you know how so we're scrolling through stuff It's gonna make a difference and that's what matters like that's the core of all of this and then not even an hour later You're like, hey you want to come on the podcast? [00:05:32] Jacob: Yes, dude life is so curious like that. Isn't it like it was a like I think I was looking back through the text this morning [00:05:38] Rebecca: And I texted you And you're like, why did you have me on the podcast or why'd you ask me and I was like kind of told you some stuff [00:05:44] Jacob: And then the last thing I was like and honestly intuition like I like I mean who knows what that word really means, right? But like I don't know when you follow it and you just kind of trust it and you just like You see like oh this person is doing this thing like let's expand on that You know and you just follow it seems like so far It's been going pretty well for me and it seems like I feel so fucking fulfilled at the end of these podcasts Okay, like it's and it's It's something new like I you know, I've been feeding my ego my whole life like let's be popular on stage Like oh you guys gonna chant my name. I love that, you know, like of course, but this is something new This is like a it's like a popularity not for me like I like I don't I don't take it for myself I'm like it's just like a I know it's like it. It's reaffirmation. I guess but it's great I love it. It's cool. I'm super happy to have you. Yeah. Thank you for having me Yeah, it's a new experience for me and it's fun. Actually, I'm not as nervous as I thought that I was going to be [00:06:46] Jacob: Yeah, my mouth is working [00:06:48] Rebecca: I'm saying words I pulled this up because I would like to start with this you sent me this This is I'm just gonna read this and then I would love for you to explain The wild woman is a warrior a goddess of the wilderness [00:07:07] Jacob: Who loves herself at any form who honors her body with food from the earth who connects with nature as a way to feel grounded? [00:07:15] Rebecca: Who strives to get back to a simple way of living less clutter less chemicals less stress more fresh air more self-love more living be wild be well [00:07:24] Jacob: Send that to me. Can you tell me about this? that is my Big old motto that I've learned to live by any time that I feel myself getting like out of control It's those words that I've written over and over and over and over again Made me more grounded and made me feel stable because like I've mentioned before I kind of like to have control But you can only control so much in your life and most of that is your reaction to what happens And so when it comes to being like wild and being well, that's it. It's taking from the earth You get back to yourself like the food that we put in our bodies drinking enough water Going out into nature literally I saved my life these things have made my life worth living And I just wanted to be able to encompass that into one single post or one visual aid that people could reference [00:08:16] Rebecca: Yeah, so that way maybe they could remind it be reminded to slow down and do those things as well [00:08:23] Jacob: Yeah, it's kind of like a It's crazy. I have a thing written on the wall You give things power and it like flirts with my mind all the time like it was a I didn't grow up with like a Deadset value structure or any of those things and so like I kind of just like rejected like Being 100% for sure about things or any of that But I think when you give things power you can take like what's this big idea? What's this thing like oh like all these things have helped me and how can I? Make my brain remember all those things but not make it too complicated. Yeah, and you did condense it down like you give you gave this paragraph power and It seems like it's given a lot of life to you or a lot of power to your life Absolutely, but now you're like extending it like how can I make this creed this thing here? Shined to other people to other women. Yes. Have you had like have you had? Good experiences with other people like have other people read it Any of your do you have clients yet? Or do you have okay? [00:09:26] Jacob: How do they feel about it? We're there with that? Oh, they resonated with it really well. Yeah, it becomes like [00:09:32] Rebecca: It's attainable and it's Simplified down so like oh, I can do that. It's a good reminder and I'm just really proud of the people that I have been working with Because they seem to sit down because they're at their wits end They're in the middle of the chaos and we pick it apart and we simplify it down to things that they can get that power from [00:09:54] Jacob: Right and by that I mean Empowerment Because most of the time we're really confused about what we can and cannot control and like you said what we have [00:10:05] Rebecca: Or all that we have is Like what we give our attention to we give the power to right So if you can simplify it down into like I want this and then give all of your attention to those things [00:10:23] Jacob: There's a lot more success, right? I think that's similar. I totally get me I think that's somewhere. I was thinking about I've mentioned this before I'm on the inside of my glasses here. I put the word lion and for me and then in our upstairs bathroom I have there's like this black and white like it's the whole wall just like this lion in the morning and like That's kind of what I did like it's kind of only for me I haven't really formed. I think I want to form like a Junkyard Love like a Some powerful badass paragraph like you have like I'm not there yet I really like that but I think it's slowly forming right but for now for me You know even the word Junkyard Love but lion is just like all these things that I install on myself So it's like when I say lion in my head or I like remember to look out at the corner my eye with my glasses here I see in the morning. I'm like remember what that means man. It's like. Oh, I'm a good person I'm okay. I'm safe and then and then for me [00:11:18] Jacob: I'm like I'm also a badass and so I literally straighten my posture anytime. I remember to read the word lion. I Am I like I ground myself. Okay. I'm here in this moment like whatever. I was just crazy thinking about Let's realize that's a thought. Let's be right here in this room. You know, it helps me that it's grounding, right? Like You talk about grounding too. I look back at our text messages and I was like, I definitely want to talk about that You talk about getting out in nature grounding these are [00:11:47] Rebecca: For me, I feel like when I I've always liked ground nature like getting outside. I've always enjoyed up in like a skateboarder I'm like an outdoor person But there was I feel like I was super disconnected it from it for many years like it was like oh, it's raining I'm not going outside like I'm not it's not the perfect weather. I'm not going outside I'm staying there like it but now I'm like, oh if I want to walk down to the post office. It doesn't matter if it's raining or not That's just a thing that's happening and I now have I Now like I'm comfortable with going out to the woods by myself and going and runs and going Coldwater Lake up there is my fucking favorite place. Like I just love going on runs out there [00:12:28] Jacob: I was very detached from I Almost saw like the people who hiked and like going out in nature and people who enjoyed outside as like a personality trait as like a Well, that's just a thing that like those kind of people like a hiking people or hippie people or you know like because we Try to conceptualize things of why we don't do them and we and we really like backing up of like well That's just not my thing. That's their thing But I think that as a human we live in the craziest fucking world ever like it's so crazy that we just have these little boxes That make magic for us at all times and we have everything at our fingertips But like getting outside is this feeling that being out in nature is this is this thing that like every human has the Ability to kind of connect to and it reminds you it makes you feel significant and insignificant at the same time [00:13:18] Rebecca: Exactly, I always say take me to a place where I feel small And it's the best thing for me because a lot of things happen and they're overwhelming [00:13:25] Jacob: And they feel really big and you feel like you're the only person in the world that will understand what's going on But when you go out and you do that hard hike and you get to the very top and you see that huge mountain or huge [00:13:36] Rebecca: Waterfall or huge cavern whatever it is It's bigger than you and it took a long time to get there Yeah, that's just sometimes I go out there and after a strenuous hike [00:13:47] Jacob: You know you're exhausted and but also proud because you just defeated something You weren't sure if you could accomplish and then there's that beautiful view and that's where I get my actual like emotional release Yeah, I'll sit there and cry because it's so pretty and look at what I get to see and here I was stressing out about something stupid or insignificant rather and then there's this beautiful thing sitting in front of me I'm gonna stay here all day, and I don't have cell phone service It's so weird to think about like because I think that Okay, so me three years ago I'm in the depths of my anxiety and someone's like you need to go for a run and you'll feel better. I'd be like what do you Like what do you mean? Like what do you don't just get like a magic fairy that gets to the end of at the end of your hike That's like all right. Here you go, you know, but I but it really is a It's a feeling it's a it's something that we don't super have words for and I think it is just that like a reminder of [00:14:43] Jacob: Like what this all is about, you know, it takes you out of your maze of your head that we all have we all have a maze and we all in sometimes being in that maze and like the stuff that gives us gives us anxiety isn't always Unrealistic like sometimes it is but sometimes it's like we're just thinking about crazy and big stuff in our life or big decisions And for me like getting out into the woods and just like feeling that it It helps clear it out Where are your where you go to hike places like where are some places that stand out? Oh, yeah Anywhere and everywhere I go, I have the AllTrails app and it's all about the AllTrails app. I don't have it It's just AllTrails and it's like a little green tree thing and you can it's GPS So you can type in anywhere that you want to go or you can literally look up the location that you're at And it will tell you any hikes that are near you It'll tell you the distance that it is if they allow pets [00:15:37] Rebecca: If that's like family-friendly How hard it is the incline and then you can also download the map So if you're someone that's afraid to do it because you don't want to get lost You can download the map and it will track you all the way to the end and all the way back [00:15:51] Jacob: Yeah, it's my most favorite thing on the planet anytime someone says where should I go hiking? I just send them the link to the app And then my favorite thing about it is you can look at comments too so you can see if there's any road closures or if there's any safety things to worry about or Lately with the snow there's been some comments like don't go up there. There's no and I'm like yes There's no I'm not taking my snow shoes and get my butt out there But if it was my car, I'd be like well, I can't even get up there exactly You know what be able to close to take what food to take that's so cool. It's kind of have you heard the ways? I think it's a driving app like a maps app ways. I have heard of it Yeah, it's kind of like kind of like that where Like if you're driving on the freeway and someone sees like a broke-down car They can like put on there like hey There's a broke-down car on the side of exit whatever 48. Yeah helps get you over the hazard area. That's cool like humans [00:16:39] Jacob: Really helping each other out if you think about like all the different contributions that it takes to make those cool things Is it like that app exactly? And I think it was only like 20 bucks a year for the advanced version where you could download all the different kinds of maps Right topography maps and the forestry maps road maps. Have you ever had to fight any coolers on your hikes? No, but I have seen bear. You've seen a bear. Yeah, I have not seen any coolers on the trail But that's probably because they're really stealthy But bears those things you walk around a corner and there's a bear there Then they kind of freak out and you freak out and they like they make so much noise when they're running through the woods And normally I don't hike without some sort of protection. Right, of course. I agree That's a good thing. What can you tell me about your bear story? Is it like as intense as it seems? No, it was literally just that like you're hiking around like oh, this is beautiful. Oh, they smell there's have a scent Oh, I kind of smells like a really wet dog It's like that's a weird smell in the middle of [00:17:40] Jacob: They probably don't take many baths with shampoo and stuff. I imagine. No, they should they have a human who just washes their belly for them Come on down bring your bears Kids no It was literally that just walking around the corner and There's the bear there and I got startled and it got startled and then it went a different direction We you were you're express on that though because I feel like I would be like I'm gonna go Lay down I just listened a lot more intently like my senses were able to like are heightened I figure it was afraid of me as well [00:18:14] Rebecca: And so I just kept going [00:18:17] Jacob: A little closer attention Yeah, it's a It's another thing that's like it's scary, but it's also like after the fact it is kind of an incredible thing like we Our lives are so disconnected like there's if it's not a zoo around the TV You don't see bears and then you like kind of get reminded of like oh, yeah, fuck. That's real You know that's it's in it again makes you feel significant and insignificant in a way Definitely pay attention. Yeah, and that's why I always or I guess I never wear like headphones or anything because I want to hear all Little cracks and snaps of the twigs and my own footsteps my own breath Just very interesting. I would never want to cover that up just for safety reason. They am just connection Yeah, I think that it puts us into like this weird flow state for sure Like I mean hiking like just hearing your breath in like you can almost there's almost so much There's nothing but also so much going on when you're hiking, right? Like every tree is so intricate and all the different edges of the trail and sometimes when it's not like a Super easy trail to like and you're just going you're just going it [00:19:29] Jacob: Kind of makes you forget about your other shit, and you're just in that moment. It's really a present moment forcing situation. I So I had a I was hiking a few months back, and I was up by myself and I do [00:19:44] Rebecca: At the first part I had headphones in I listened to music and I was like I get like a mile and a half in I have like my No, no, that's why I asked about cougars because I At cold water there's like signs up that say like watch out for cougars And so like obviously just as a human you're like, oh, I'm fucking terrified, but I'm cool about that Let's just assign whatever but I Went and I was like a mile and a half in and I wanted to get like good motivation starting So I had my headphones on I got to my first spot and And for me I smoke weed when I go on hike sometimes And so I got to my first spot and I was like started smoking and I put my headphones off And I just start hearing just the screaming howls of coyotes, and I was like, oh man. I was like, okay [00:20:26] Jacob: You know I hadn't seen anybody yet There it was pretty early and then but it made me start thinking it kind of pulled me out. I was like [00:20:34] Rebecca: Do I Like if a coyote attacks me, what do I do like or do coyotes attack in packs or and so it started getting me like really realized I'm kind of dumb like I didn't really think and then obviously of course I'm like, oh well coyotes like I think they probably wouldn't really attack me unless there's like 20 of them Right, but then I'm like I also don't forget about that cougar [00:20:53] Jacob: And it's just funny like I Once you get that thought in your mind like the whole rest of my hike I would get going. I'm good and I'm at 45 minutes [00:21:01] Rebecca: And then also I remember about the cougar and the coyotes. I'm like, oh shoot. You start listening more You didn't turn around No, I kept going. Yeah, I was yeah, I love it was so good job I will so I also have this thing and I don't I don't know if this is like a super healthy thing, but it helps me like pushing against my edge and not like bow down to my like Sissy side. I know that's a kind of crappy word, but um like I kind of I kind of like putting myself in fearful positions and in pushing past it [00:21:32] Jacob: Because in the end you always win, you know, like yeah, you learn what's survivable Yeah, like if you like exploring different states of consciousness and in exploring different boundaries that you didn't know you had like getting to uncomfortable spots and Realizing that you can push past is like this crazy unlocking thing as a human for me [00:21:51] Rebecca: So I mean obviously not all the time like sometimes I'm a sissy and I'm a sissy And there's a difference between trusting your intuition and pushing yourself past like an anxiety that you That you're just aware of there's a difference there because that anxiety is actually meant to keep [00:22:05] Jacob: You alive That's his purpose so we can honor that like oh, I'm scared. So what do I do take my headphones out? I pay attention And I keep pushing Unless your intuition kicks in and then you're like no wait. This is completely unsafe conditions It's getting dark the animals are coming out. I'm gonna turn back. Yeah You've got to be able to like have that a little conversation with yourself like don't bow down with it But also just be like you can do it. Yes, or maybe it's time to turn back I have to do that because um when I'm out in nature On the way to the cool spot If I'm not paying attention to the beauty of nature, I'll pay attention to the physical ailments Like I have a broken foot that I never really took care of so it'll ache and I'll focus on that No, let's focus on the beauty of this or like take a deep breath Get something out of it besides like focusing on my body hurting because hiking is a physical activity It is hard. You have a pack on depends on how long you're going like I did a 25 mile hike in one day [00:23:06] Jacob: And it was extremely difficult It was up the asgard pass the enchantments up leavenworth area It was the hardest thing I've ever done. But how do you get through it? One step at a time and it was worth it was the most incredible place I've ever been in my whole life I have not been out there and I did it jake. That's the thing. Hell. Yeah, congrats. That's awesome I did it. I didn't think I could I was like, you know, not in my best shape But I just kept going one foot in front of the other and got done and what was how did you start? Like before you had done this I could have you done anything like any anywhere near that long before Tell me about like your mindset before versus your mindset after oh, man It was incredible what I was able to achieve because in the back of my mind [00:23:47] Rebecca: I always knew like I could turn back And it was a through hike so it wasn't a loop So if I made it past a certain point, I might as well just finish it all the way And the asgard that pass specifically the hardest part is the beginning trunk But if I can get through that I can get through the end Like it's the physical exhaustion of doing the first few like the first seven miles The hardest thing but going back down that pass is dangerous and I wouldn't want to do that. So I just kept going it was daunting like grueling to keep going the rest of the way because The beauty of the mountain kind of it turned into dirt [00:24:24] Rebecca: Like they call it The dead miles I think something along those lines where it's just nothing There's nothing to look at is what it is The beauty is what keeps you moving forward through the pass because there's so many different places You can look different Glacial lakes and everything but when it comes to the mindset of that at first I was like, I'm not going to pay attention to the miles logged Or the miles that I have left. I'm just going to keep going. I signed up for this It's an experience and I'm gonna make it through it Right Yeah, once you once you set out it's cool like making that goal for yourself like I'm gonna do this Like I'm gonna there's a lot of our area a lot of our lives A lot of us in our life. We don't do things like that. I feel like we don't Put a peg in it and say like I gotta do this for me not for anybody else I'm the most stubborn human. I know if I say you want to do it. I have to prove it to myself I'm not gonna give up. I just have to do it. Yeah [00:25:18] Jacob: I'm sure that's helped shape you into the more badass version of yourself in many ways. Yes, I view it as a positive But sometimes it does it's actually like a barrier for me because people like why can't you be a little bit more [00:25:30] Rebecca: Uh flexible a little less My husband my rigidity is something that we Battle often because I'm like no I made up my mind. I'm doing it It's like well, what if that might not be the safest way or could you go a different weekend with other people or There's you know multiple scenarios I can come up with where my rigidity isn't only the best thing but when it comes to like a success or [00:25:54] Jacob: A goal I feel like it's like the ultimate for people like who are always kind of just like having a little battle in their mind like To insert a situation where you're like I'm gonna hear both voices of my doubt and my in my good beast But like I've got to do this thing to make sure I'm listening to the good beast like a lot of times Taking out choices like you said, oh, can you go a different day? Can you go with these different people a lot of times? Bringing in choices into the situation will be enough to cripple me and I won't go like oh, I want to go on a hike today Like just leave at 8 a. m. But then if I you know, I love going with friends sometimes But like if I text friends and then they're like, oh can we go at 9 and then you're like, oh Who should I invite? It turns into this big thing. It's rather than just like choosing to go With that one if you want to go on that hike you go and it works for you [00:26:48] Jacob: Like if it only works for you at that time of day Then you set the time and then you make sure you tell all the people like all the details I'm leaving at this time. We're meeting at 8. I need to be back by 2 Can you go because then there's no that's a good that's good. You know boundaries Yeah, I think we're uh, we kind of live in a world Especially when it comes to texting and stuff right where we live in a world where we're afraid to like Come at them with like, hey, here's what I'm doing. Love for you to join me Like rather than like a hey, I was thinking about this mountain Have you ever heard of it? And there's this hike and we could like throwing all these options because you want to make the other Your friend comfortable and you want to give them options, but I think you're right I think a lot of us are a little healthier when we just Pick what we're doing and say You do this. I would love for you to join me Yeah, if you've been a people pleaser of any part of your life, then that's like a habit [00:27:37] Jacob: That's going to carry into whatever you're doing and as we're becoming more of our own person Knowing what we want to do. It's not being like assertive or aggressive with it You're just like, hey, this is the plan that works for me. Can you come? If not, I'm going to go by myself I feel like I find that people actually Respect that like you there's always a little bit of a fear Like I don't want my friend to think that I'm like being too stern or being like a hard ass But most of the time your friends are like cool. Awesome. Like I support you Down or like I'm an early riser. I want to beat the traffic I want to be there before sunrise and then I want to be home to make dinner and like wind down Excellent a lot of people aren't like that a lot of my friends aren't like that let's say So there I know that so there's some wiggle room like well, okay. I want to leave before Should we leave at six then? [00:28:24] Rebecca: They're like, yes. Thank you I don't know it just depends on the situation for sure, but if it's something that's important to you make sure make sure it happens [00:28:33] Jacob: Yeah, I agree. Um [00:28:37] Rebecca: Tell me, um, I want to talk about I want to talk about more of your business and more of your coaching. Okay. Um [00:28:44] Jacob: Tell me about before So what led you to even want to start doing this? I'm wanting to start helping people like what were you a different person before? Did you think differently? Um, what was the jump from like giving yourself this like I should try this thing, you know, I don't want to hear about it As much as it was a jump it was also a push because I've been doing hair for 10 years now and I noticed that the more that I do hair and lashes the more My neck was acting up and I've always I've always had a bad like neck. I had a neck injury and When I look down to look At the lashes that I'm doing or raise my arms to do hair like that It started to really bother me and then I would start to go You know like an old tv that goes And goes from like actual screen down to nothing. Yes, my left eye would do that. Oh, that's terrifying Yeah, so then I would look up and it was like go back to normal and look down Gone like wow my vision's going away. So I'll just close my eye Just the one eye and do lashes like what's happening to me [00:29:48] Jacob: And then just stabbing someone in the eye as you know, no, no, no. I'm very careful [00:29:53] Rebecca: Of course But then I started to get what I thought was like a facial paralysis because then it started to be my bottom eyelid And my cheek and then down My lip then my tongue then my throat like it just kept progressing, but it wasn't actually paralyzed. It just was this heavy hot Fire it was awful and I looked it was only lasting like 30 seconds But I looked in the mirror and like tried to express my face and it still had movement But the pain was so severe that it just makes you go like And I would shake and then it would just pass and it was only when I was working [00:30:27] Jacob: Oh, no [00:30:29] Rebecca: So then I went to a chiropractor [00:30:31] Jacob: And I don't have health insurance [00:30:34] Rebecca: So I went to the chiropractor and I explained to her what was going on. She's like you need to go get an x-ray And I was like, I don't have money for an x-ray So then I tried Acupuncture and she in the same spot in my neck. I didn't I didn't say anything like little tests [00:30:49] Jacob: Like what do people know? Tell me what I don't know about my body. So she did her little thing She was like, hey, I'm not going to put needles on this side because I feel like those muscles are holding your spine in place Like I'm not going to release them. I think they're important. You need to go get an x-ray So that was the same area you were kind of feeling yes So then I went to the radiology clinic and I was like look both doctor, you know Both professionals said I should get an x-ray. What can you do for me? I don't have insurance And you know what they take out of pocket. It was 111 Cash, that's cool. Yeah, that's a lucky number. Yes, it is [00:31:21] Rebecca: It was amazing. So I took that x-ray back to the chiropractor and she [00:31:25] Jacob: So when your spine is in alignment All of your blood vessels and nerve endings sit in these little columns perfectly But my neck injury was a forceful frontward injury and it made me have a permanent [00:31:39] Rebecca: Reverse cervical spine And so as I'm looking down all my blood vessels and nerve endings are actually getting like pinched or severed And so doing that motion over and over and over Made me have this happen to my face So she said hey rebecca. I think it's time that you find a different career And this is my identity. It's what it's the business that I've built. It's who I am. It's what I love My favorite part about the salon is actually the connection with people And being able to be someone that they could turn to with all of their problems without Judgment or ridicule and so I got on the old google and I was like, um How can I help people without going to college for five years or whatever however many years it would take and coaching popped up I was like, oh my god, it's a thing. So I clicked on it and I called the school and it is it is a thing and so there's multiple avenues that people could go down when it comes to getting help with something [00:32:36] Jacob: There's the counselors You know If it's for a physical thing they could they could have a trainer or there's Nutritionists when it comes to diet, but like a coach kind of encompasses all of that except for we do not diagnose or treat you What we do is hold space for you to tell your story To say what you want we empower you to make the choices that align with those things And we work side by side with doctors or psychologists. So say that you have a team All everyone needs a team but we um You could sign a release form and then we can work side by side with those people So if you are diagnosed with a certain health disease like a lifestyle disease I can talk with your doctor and we can make a plan and then I'm here I'm more accessible a doctor takes a little bit longer to get into but I'm someone they could like text real quick Having this problem. What do I do? [00:33:28] Rebecca: All right. That's super important. Yeah, it's awesome It's been so fulfilling to me to be able to help So many people beyond um, like hairdressing is basically what they see in the mirror This is a much deeper avenue and it's it feels so good So everything does happen for a reason and I'm so excited to see where this actually takes me and other people Yeah, I mean, it's great that you were able to turn like a I mean, uh [00:33:54] Jacob: You know, you could use diagnosis. Sure. Like it like Something terrible really like you could have you could have sat and patted for that But instead you're like, what all right, what do I got to do next? And what's great is you were fueled by Um, you know not like all right, how do I keep making money and just stay afloat? You're like, how do I still help people? How do I still talk to people? Because I think that's a huge Um, I always loved when I was a kid um any movie where there's like the towns like if it's like chicago or new york and there's like um Like the barbershops like I always love that shit like where they would just talk and there's like the old guys Who are just saying like it is there's somebody playing chess over I always thought that was the coolest thing But I think it's because You know This world is has always been in multiple ways like now because social media and phones and stuff and all these other things So fast-paced Um, but we do have times where you're kind of forced to sit, right? [00:34:45] Jacob: Like you're you're getting your lashes done You're getting your hair done or you're and in that person talking to you is a therapist in many ways Like a lot of times you probably people would probably open up to you Before they realized they're opening up to you They'd probably like tell you more than they wanted to say just because you make them comfortable And yes, but and I think that these areas are important. I actually had something on facebook [00:35:04] Rebecca: I posted a couple months ago about um I was comparing uh people who do hair and stuff to dialysis machines Cleansing Like you take a lot on and you do help a lot of people you do hear a lot of people's like intricate things and I'm sure like the It's encouraging, but it's uh, essentially the post was make sure you're finding ways to drain that from yourself to not hold everyone's problems Absolutely Nature and that's yeah, exactly. That's a huge thing for me. Um But yeah, I think I think it's so cool like Just really like how you're honest about your mindset like I think a lot of hairdressers are actually um or hairdressers and people who Cosmet what is what's the word I'm looking for? Uh Like just general taking care of people's like the cosmetologist. That's what okay That's what I was the beauty people the beauty people Yeah, I think they're an important piece in our life and it's cool that you're like That because it's like you're real calling like what you really do is like connect with people Yes, and like yeah, there's hair and there's eyelashes And there's all these things that you can do in that way, but like you still kept going with connecting people [00:36:17] Jacob: Um when you got When you were like feeling crappy so what did you do to feel better from this like nerve pinching? [00:36:26] Rebecca: Like is it just you didn't Like overall I just powered through it because I have to make money to pay my bills And then I had to make money to also pay For the chiropractor and all of these Other like lifestyle changes that I needed to incorporate into my life. So I had to find a balance and the I love the chiropractor that I go to it's dr. Stacey synergy and she just straight up asked me like [00:36:53] Jacob: What's the cost to your health? Like what is stopping you from committing to your own progress? And I'm like me And I feel like monetarily I can't and so we sat down actually made a plan She's really good with working. Where's she at? Um, it's on 11th avenue synergy health solutions. Right. It was awesome It was one of the most life-changing things because she and she didn't let me get away with anything really because I'm very like guarded and Well, I was I was really guarded and private now not so much because I feel like being open and honest like If I'm doing it. I'm also giving other people permission. It's like a catalyst for being honest [00:37:30] Rebecca: And I really feel like that's where changes Truly start and when it came to my neck it wasn't just about let's align your spine I was like let's align your soul And that was it's been life changing. It's been over a year now or no almost a year. I think I think I got fully diagnosed [00:37:46] Jacob: Yeah, it yeah, it's [00:37:49] Rebecca: The severity of the injury isn't necessarily fixable But I'm doing what I can to make it more manageable. Yeah, you work with it instead of suffering it [00:38:00] Jacob: Yeah, and I have to just be mindful about my head placement And I have to oh I had to learn how to say no [00:38:05] Rebecca: In the salon because I have I have my clients and I love them and my lash ladies come every two weeks So they're the majority of my schedule. So I'm looking down a lot. I had to Create barriers and boundaries like with myself. So that way my schedule had gaps in it, which I'd never done before It feels unproductive But I also had to say no to clients when they needed to switch because I could look at my schedule and be like I'm already doing four in a row I know that if I do that then tomorrow, I won't be able to move my face But for you, I think little things like that are important. A lot of people who are starting up businesses Listen to the podcast and I think that's a good thing to put a pin in there is like Like it there's no point in doing six in a row if you're fifth and sixth You're feeling like crap and you aren't able to show up as the person you want to And most of the time if you're honest about with your clients, especially if they're kind of a friend level [00:38:54] Rebecca: They're like, oh, I get it too. Right. We just we place it upon ourselves that we have to make sure that they're okay But we're not ever making sure that we are I never take a lunch unless it fits in my day I don't take one for the last 10 years. I've built my business by being available By being flexible with my time and by just busting my butt right and I busted my neck Yeah, there's any entrepreneurs out there just make sure you're taking time for yourself protect your neck son protect your neck [00:39:22] Rebecca: Insert buster rhymes right here jake So the uh the small neck injury is super interesting because I as you were telling me about that I was I don't know a ton about it and you might enlighten me more if I'm totally talking out of my butt, but um, I was listening to somebody talk about The way that we so say you're right handed you have your phone in your right hand And you're kind of like as you're walking texting you're kind of like just the slightest angle your eyes are looking down bottom right, right? Um, you know certain shoulder muscles are flexed like it actually does We forget we're growing at all times like it's like we almost start growing in that direction Um something that like when I started doing yoga and started just like being a complete weirdo down here I'm just exploring like whatever Something that was huge with a lot of my the back of my neck pain Was uh was my eyes And like so I would start because you notice like if you're if you're looking down bottom right [00:40:19] Rebecca: And your eyes are kind of looking also down bottom, right? Um In and you like look up and down you can feel in the back of your neck sort of like a poll Um listeners if I mean if you could pretty much just look down and then just move your eyes only and you can kind of feel A little bit of movement in the back of your neck. Um, so anyway, what I started doing with the yoga and stuff I start just being a super weirdo and just as I'm stretching just wow And I'm moving my mouth open and letting my eyes just rip open my eyes as wide as I can and look to the top left And look to the bottom left and just like flex my eyes My eye sockets like my whole face all this stuff If you do that like while you're stretching like uh, I don't know. I feel like you start Stretching muscles that you're like, oh, that's been flexed always and I didn't really I didn't let her give a break Yeah Did you have anything like that at the chiropractor? Not only do they like, you know manipulate your spine in some way [00:41:12] Jacob: But they send you home with Exercises to do at home and I would stare at those papers and like these are all so silly But then I sat down and did them and all it was turning like okay, so you're sitting up straight You're sitting on your butt, but you're also sitting up straight spinal alignment Then take your chin and just kind of give yourself the dub chin look Not too much and then just look to one side or the other [00:41:35] Rebecca: And now look down So much you can feel that now look up at that angle when I look up my whole head will start shaking because I black out Well, no, I just don't have the muscle stability in that way and my spine. It isn't structurally sound at that angle Okay, but you have like built resilience and structure and like all this hiking and being active now Seems to be like holding this shit pretty good [00:42:04] Jacob: There's two parts to that [00:42:07] Rebecca: Um, this could be crippling So I want to see the shit now Before I can't you know before it becomes more challenging Like that's why I'm trying to do the harder stuff now before you know, it holds me back a little bit A little bit never yeah, not letting life just hold you down like that And before I go in those high suits making sure I'm as prepared as possible I try not to take any medicine whatsoever, but ibuprofen I always carry with me just in case it starts to hurt drink a lot of water the week before a hike I make sure there's no inflammatory foods in my diet like it's about taking the precautions But yeah, it's pretty impressive what I can do Like I can put a 50 pound backpack on my back even though I have a bad back and keep walking up a mountain Oh, I also have to just take turns looking up at the beautiful scenery and looking down at my feet Just to give my neck a different angle everyone Yeah, I think that's important. It's weird. We have all these millions of I don't know if it's millions [00:43:06] Jacob: But let's say millions little micro muscles is what I like to call them and sometimes they just don't get a lot of movement I think about Like think about in your head like you a nursing home like a grandma on a moomoo like think about how many [00:43:19] Rebecca: I'm stretching it. Think about how often I'm so hilarious. I don't set the scene sometimes. So I'm just like all of a sudden grandma and moomoo I'm sorry. I'm so visual too. So I was like, whoa I went for the mountain to moomoo real quick. Yeah, she says she turns into a moomoo No, but just I think about like think about how often she moves Like how many like her arms her micro muscles in her neck and her toes even flexing Um, I just think of like when I think of like I don't want this to seem mean to like any old people But when I think of like an old person who like doesn't move a lot I think of myself and I think I'm not going to be that I think my plan is Like I feel like we're going to be able to live a lot longer [00:44:01] Jacob: You know the a lot of the researchers they're doing pretty damn well [00:44:05] Rebecca: We're learning about these things that are causing us inflammation learning about all these things that we can do to like help Micro muscles all these little things. I just I just imagine when I'm older I want to be able to Move like my whole body and have access to like all these different areas And I don't want to be the old lady in the moomoo I feel like I'm just picking on this probably I'm sorry carol, but um [00:44:28] Jacob: Yeah, I think that we kind of detach ourselves from Like we can be young we could be 25 We could be 30 and we could say like I'm not going to be like that But like if you don't take precautions to not be like that, you know, I'm sure they didn't plan on that either Like it, you know, and we have so much more information at our hands now We have so much more things we can try we have so much so many people sharing knowledge [00:44:51] Rebecca: Um Yeah, I think just Taking control of your life. Um, I do want to talk word inflammation. Okay. I really like Teaching people about that word where we can so what? Foods that give you inflammation. Can you tell me about that? Do you start discovering? Like you would start feeling worse or start feeling inflamed in certain ways when you eat certain foods Yeah, refined sugar number one is my number one inflammatory food I love it's something it was really hard habit to break and every once in a while I still give in and then the next morning I wake up and I am like I'm like crippled mumu granny I can't do it. I can't move And it's all the way into my finger joints and I would go try to lift weights And I would try to do like a normal squat like oh my god my hips every [00:45:38] Jacob: Joint was aching. I did that to me [00:45:41] Rebecca: Did it happens when I eat bread And with that one, I'm not sure if it is gluten or if it's preservatives I'm not sure. I haven't quite figured that out. But what I did figure out is when I eat an autoimmune protocol diet. It's very Um basic very basic lots of leafy greens like a paleo sort of yeah It's just one a little bit one step above paleo. So you're not eating any like pepper or anything. That's spicy No potatoes just kind of potatoes. I'd come you can have sweet potatoes It just it's very you do that for like a month and then you add back in eggs and see [00:46:20] Jacob: What inflames your body So it's one of those things instead of being like oh my god. I don't want to do this It's about being curious because your body is your own science experiment like Anytime that you take a medication People think that's going to like cure them and it might Or is it just masking the ailment or is when it comes to your diet, that's something you do forever You have to eat to stay alive. So what are you eating and is it helping you? Feel alive, right? I think a lot of times we our diet and medications is attacking symptoms um, I think that We kind of you know, shaley and I talked about this often Our view on the doctors and when I say are I'm just generalizing society like of course not everybody But we kind of do go to the doctors when we're hurt and when we're feeling crappy and we say fix me please And we don't take the time to learn about every single ounce of food we put into our body right before we went to the doctor [00:47:18] Rebecca: Um, there's reasons why you're feeling this way Not I'm feeling this way and I want to not feel this way. So give me the thing to make me not feel it [00:47:26] Jacob: Right. What's the quickest fix? Yeah, it's do you think it's like this? like just our society's Like need for comfort is you think it's just kind of a repercussion [00:47:37] Rebecca: It's our society's need for instant results Because we have everything on our fingertips. We want something we can get it right now, but that does not Happen with your health. It takes work and it takes You have to think about it and then it takes action You can't just be like well, I want to lose weight or I want to feel better I want my neck to hurt less you have to take action [00:47:57] Jacob: What can I do to get better? And then you have to actually do the things Over and over and over and over and learn about yourself like that actually didn't feel good when I ate that It made my stomach hurt or didn't feel good when I did that exercise. It hurt my neck I learned that anytime I put a squat bar On my neck that didn't feel good. So I talked to the doctor about it. It's easy. What can I do instead? and so I hold weights on either side of me So that way it's like pulling my neck and back in the Correct alignment for me instead of pushing me forward and giving me that same facial like pinch Right, it's that vagus nerve that runs between your c1 and c2 that gets real okay [00:48:38] Rebecca: Real funky That's so interesting when you when you first started [00:48:44] Jacob: How was the initial like okay? This is an injury. This is like everything in my life needs to change [00:48:50] Rebecca: Like my health my whatever [00:48:53] Jacob: What were some of the [00:48:54] Rebecca: I love [00:48:56] Jacob: I love getting people I love helping putting my hand down and trying to help people off the ground. I think Like that first initial if you can just help people realize that they can take their You know, um, do you remember back to that time when you're like, okay? I got to make changes like was it was it pretty hard with diet? Was it like a slow start or you just keep going like was it like I'm gonna eat healthy and then by it's 3 p. m. You're like eating a bag of Doritos because that's what I would do Uh, yeah, it is a constant Well, okay not so much anymore. It is not so much a constant struggle because I've already lost weight I've already felt better. So I know how to do it like I have the tools To be able to recreate my past experience, but this time I can do it better Yeah, and so when I first started feeling pain. I associated it with being overweight. So that's when I Did the research about anti inflammatory foods. I didn't get a diagnosis yet I had actually Gone through that whole process and started with the keto diet [00:49:53] Rebecca: I'm sure you've heard a lot about the keto diet and I'm sure that works for so many people But for me it was so restrictive and my body was craving a sweet potato And I started to crack so I was like I have to eat under 20 carbs and I just want to bite of this I wanted to take it out Right because I'm one of those people like it's kind of obsessed with numbers and if I have my fitness power I'll make sure I hit it just right and if I have certain macros like I'm gonna hit it to be keto I'm gonna do it right my stubbornness [00:50:20] Jacob: But what was happening is I was like what the why do I need to label this? Why can't I just eat well? And then I lost all the weight because it I didn't have any stress [00:50:30] Rebecca: Or no stress of following a diet specifically. I just ate as much Whole Foods as possible Drink a lot of water I needed vitamins because I was deficient in some And moving my body I took the pressure off myself and the weight also came off And then once I had lost that weight I did my neck started to hurt a little bit more But that's probably because I was feeling better. So I was working more right But once I did get diagnosed with that. Yeah, it's it forces you to sit Down like it almost pushes you down like you've got this thing And I didn't want it to be Me I didn't want it to be what held me back or um became my new identity. I can't do that because my neck hurts That was something I wanted to be able to say if it was a true thing, but I feel like the more you um [00:51:21] Jacob: This sentence [00:51:25] Rebecca: You get it your experiences beliefs Your beliefs are there because of your experiences and then those same experiences confirm your beliefs So if i'm sitting there going I believe that I can't do that because my neck hurts Everything around me is going to try to confirm that because we'd like to be right But I was like, I don't want this to be what stops me And so what do I have to do in order [00:51:57] Jacob: To be happy or to feel better and that unfortunately that was you know, I'm going to have to switch my career over But not right now. It's a 10-year thing or if it did get worse, obviously I would make the sacrifice, but I wasn't gonna let it define me. Right. Yeah, instead. You kind of like created a balance like I'm not going to suffer these things. I'm going to Balance them out by going out and working out and eating better And there's that I have this mentality of all or nothing I don't really know where it came from always trying to figure out the source But I know that it's there And I have to eat perfect or binge eat. I have to spend big money or save every penny I have to do a just hair or like I have to do just this thing, but that's not helpful It's really not it's better to have a balance of like Not viewing things as black or white good or bad like when it comes to food [00:52:56] Rebecca: And having like treats aren't bad [00:52:58] Jacob: Too much just isn't good [00:53:01] Rebecca: You know like too much is what gives me inflammation a piece of Like a homemade fudge or like someone brought me a treat that isn't going to be realming completely And then there's not the stress with that and I don't like because with the stress I was tensing up too. And so it was causing more I was really just learning a lot about my body and what What I was doing to it by trying to control everything Yeah, it's funny because I because I feel like I'm still learning About my own body and I have like now I feel through my yoga and meditation I feel like so connected to my body, but I actually worked out Since I'm 28 when I was in 10th grade I started working out because I was like 140 pounds and I just wanted to be tough And so I was like I got to put some size on so that's like what started me But I never even after high school [00:53:51] Jacob: From 10th grade until you know [00:53:53] Rebecca: 26 27 I worked out I would take maybe a week or two off at the most but I would always work out as always But like I really wasn't that healthy like I was just working out I was pretty much just doing the same thing like I was going in I do the bicep curls and I do and I do the bench press and I Did all these things but I didn't realize that I was like not super connected to my body Um in and it's still something that I'm exploring. I hope that in like five years I'm able to talk about this sentence and be like, yeah, I did this because it's something [00:54:24] Jacob: Something the Like if you would have asked me four years ago, like do you have a connection with your body? I'd be like, yeah, the most powerful connection ever that you don't even understand But like now I realized that I was an idiot like I And I think that and in what I'm circling at is I worked out Trying to I used it for like an aggression thing like trying to get out my whatever and I would go there and that's great But a lot of times I was just punishing my body like not connecting to it kind of like a kind of like that Like the body expression of like looking in the mirror like come on motherfucker You fat idiot, you know like you like those sort of things like that was kind of like a lot of my not like super putting down That fat idiot might be intense But like, you know these things that we kind of actually say to ourselves when we're working out like you got to push yourself But I think that I've learned to like be soft with myself and be like Come on man. Like explore that like you love your body like it's this different conversation [00:55:22] Rebecca: And Like I don't really go to gyms now I have like a fun workout now and I when I'm like, oh, I need to like get some good like a good workout And there's some good miles in I plan a long run or I plan a hike I think that we look at fitness Working out as something completely separate than anything else in our life Um, I think that like uh People like you who are finding like more of a holistic like all of this is health, you know all of this is [00:55:50] Jacob: Is fitness, you know, like we can't go into the gym and just say all right punish yourself and get through it It's like as you're in the gym. You're also working on your posture You're working on your self confidence. You're working on your self talk [00:56:01] Rebecca: You're working on all these things That's I think the video that I posted this morning for Wyld Wellness was all about that like self love or self hate You have a choice Yeah, break down the video. I didn't watch it. Okay, so Mind you I edited a couple this morning too So the one that I believe that was posted this morning was the self love and self hate and I think I started it off by saying like If you wanted to help someone or rather point someone's behavior out to get them to change [00:56:30] Jacob: What would work better? Calling them out calling them stupid that idiot or saying like hey, I noticed this This is you know bothering me. What can we do to solve that? Like which one of those would actually have a better outcome obvious Yeah, the second option and so why do we do that to ourselves? Why do we think that calling ourselves a stupid idiot in the gym or like calling? I have guilty of that like grabbing my own fat and saying like oh god, I'm disgusting I need to go to the gym joke about it self deprecating joke. It's awful And it is something that it's a habit to break [00:57:04] Rebecca: And that's like my specialization with my coaching. I'm a habit change specialist Because it's um the choices that we make over and over and over that become our habits And when we get stuck in certain habit loops, that's when we notice that we are gaining a little bit of weight Or we are more negative But if you can break that cycle by making another choice And another choice and another choice your habits will shift and you'll be a different person Just in the gym. So if you notice that's what it is So we're often Either completely oblivious to what we're doing and then there starts to be this judgmental side of us That's like, oh my god, I'm I am being a jerk to myself that why am I'm gonna keep doing it because it obviously works And then if you can go one step beyond that and be curious like why am I being a jerk to myself? [00:57:49] Jacob: Is there another way? Is there a different way? Yeah, there's other choices to make and they're like, but I don't I don't know [00:57:58] Rebecca: What that will bring me. Okay, so A visualization for this is say you're walking through a jungle [00:58:05] Jacob: And there's already a path That's blazed you want to take that because you know how you know everything about it. It's the easiest route [00:58:12] Rebecca: But what if what you actually want Is just a little like bush whack away You just have to like clip away at the vines and everything and blaze a new trail to what you actually desire That happens with habit change So like at the gym if you're sitting there being rude to yourself [00:58:31] Rebecca: Notice it acknowledge What you're trying to do you're like, oh i'm trying to motivate myself But there is another way so let's try it And so that's what I've I had to do that because I've gained and lost like 70 pounds a couple times now And with my neck injury. I had to slow down at the gym I did get you know kind of sad about it So I was eating differently even though that doesn't help me But then I realized what was happening getting control of it again I started to be mean to myself. I started to notice and now I'm like no Look at how cool my body is Anytime my neck starts to flare up. It's giving me a signal. Yeah, I like that. Look how cool my body is I like that. Yeah, like huge mindset. I can I can run. I can run more than I think that I can I can lift more than I think that I can I can um It is so interesting how if you take an ailment like your stomach is aching or your heart is racing [00:59:27] Jacob: And you actually ask why or what could I do? You give yourself some power back Like it's a signal from your body. It's telling you something like even anxiety is so It's so awesome that more and more people are talking about anxiety disorders and everything It's a signal from your body. Yeah, pay attention [00:59:47] Rebecca: I think that uh, we live in a We love a diagnosis because it tells us what's going on, but then we think we need to sit with it Okay. Well, that's my prison sentence. This is me. Yeah, but it's like here's a diagnosis. Here's this thing [00:59:59] Jacob: That's happening. Here's this thing that you're feeling. It's real. Look at it. Realize it cool. Now what now? How do you make your life better? Exactly? Or what is it telling you? Is there things that you need to maybe step back on and focus on a little more or a little less or whatever it is um, you talked about When you got here, um, it reminded me of something that Simon Sinek said about like excitement versus nervousness Like the feeling the feeling if you separate the thoughts Just empty your thoughts whatever way you can you just feel that feeling It's super similar. If not the exact same feeling excitement versus nervousness Simon Sinek. Um, who's an author that I really like He talks about uh This uh, he's like a leadership trainer too. He has a bunch of lectures on YouTube if you want to check him out It's fucking awesome But uh, he has this thing where he's afraid of flying He's like very nervous on flights And so he started It's on the plane and it starts to get turbulence and he's like, okay Instead of being terrified and having the cold sweats or whatever it is [01:00:51] Jacob: I'm just going to say this is exciting This is exciting because think about if you're on a roller coaster you chose to get on a roller coaster You're choosing to be terrified like it's just all your brain's perception of it, right? It's it is exciting. So and it sounds silly and it sounds contrived But if you are person listening who has anxiety, um, who has just like nervousness like What you know, even if it's just a soft one even if it's a big one try [01:01:16] Rebecca: Just try it saying this is actually exciting This is exciting and see like what your what your brain does and see if your brain like feels this [01:01:24] Jacob: Is sort of like excitement. So how did you start like? Framing your mind in a different way. So like you would feel nervousness, but you were talking about when you when you got here [01:01:34] Rebecca: You're you notice it as excitement now um If it was like 10 years ago and you were feeling nervous and you had to talk to your 10 years ago [01:01:42] Jacob: So what would you tell them like listen if this was 10 years ago? I would have said no to doing the podcast because it's way outside of my comfort zone I don't I don't ever want to put myself good for you. I'm super glad you're here Yeah, I don't want to sound foolish ever or like I don't want to talk about something that I don't know 100% But uh in that case none of us should be talking because we never know anything [01:02:02] Rebecca: But um 10 years ago [01:02:05] Jacob: The now man The mind shift that I've had [01:02:13] Rebecca: Is very significant [01:02:15] Jacob: I mean 20 to 30 is a huge [01:02:18] Rebecca: Learning like age um so now What I am able to do is separate myself from my thoughts like I am not my thoughts because every once in a while I've really shitty thought about myself for maybe another person. That's not The that's not who I am. Those are just thoughts. They're there. They just flow all day long There they are and every once in a while like one pops up and we pay more attention to it [01:02:44] Jacob: And so I was like why Did that pop up pop up in my head actually take the moment to be like, what does that mean? Is it real? No It's a real thought but is it a real thing Like I acknowledge it and put it aside if it's important. I'll put it over here and deal with it later Or if it's just like a passing little fleeting thought like it can go on to the next thing That's definitely I do that a lot now It's just being able to like step outside and observe Yourself your thoughts your actions and does that align with where you want to be because we all have past guys Past are things we don't some people are perfect, you know, but some of us have far from that Yeah, I've done some things. I'm not proud of Like can I necessarily make up for those things? No, but I can change my the way that I do everything [01:03:33] Rebecca: And to me like It does help me feel better about everything that I've gone through everything that I've done It led me to right where I'm at and from this point That's when I have the power to make the choices that align with the life that I see for myself [01:03:47] Jacob: Right. I love that. I everyone has that power Yeah, that uh, that's what I keep trying to like point out here Is that moment when you're like you're on the trail And you're going on the trail then when you notice you're on the trail that right there The noticing is all it takes the noticing like okay. I'm on this trail like Where am I you know, like what is this trail? Do I want to go into the bushes over here? Do I want to go check those out? Like you can stop running on the trail for a dang second. Um, and this is a metaphor. We're not talking about hiking all of a sudden, but I Yeah, that I think that Joe Rogan has this thing. Um, I watched a lot of like motivational YouTube videos a lot of times I wake up and my depression tries to strangle me a little bit And so the first thing I do is like nope ain't happening today. And so I put some like motivational stuff on Yeah And again later just has a side note again later I look at like okay, it seems that maybe I was having some problems with sleep [01:04:42] Jacob: It's having some maybe nightmares. Let's look at that. Maybe I was eating something wrong for bed It was kind of triggering these whatever so get curious. Yeah, so that's definitely a thing But uh, the when I wake up the morning I put on these motivational videos There's one that I listened to Joe Rogan's voice actually and these people edited together Essentially they show have you seen the movie limitless with bradley cooper? No He take it's essentially they show him at the beginning of the movie and he's like imagine This is your superhero movie right now. This is your life today is the first opening scene And you're the piece of shit before it gets his shit together You're the you know and you know don't call yourself piece of shit But if that's what you need that day to like I need to change you see yourself as like The loser like you don't have a lot of money and your apartment's dirty You know, this is like the scene they paint and then you just kind of like all of a sudden You realize like damn it, you know like I got to do something different Like I got to get I got to walk on my hero's journey here [01:05:32] Jacob: I gotta like you know like we've seen all these movies were like at the beginning where the people just weren't fully there We've, we've seen Thor we've seen you know I think like well captain america has been awesome all the time But just all these superheroes all these people in these movies who at the beginning They were just not proud of themselves and maybe they did things that they didn't want to like all they didn't Believe in and now they're punishing themselves for it But what you can do is you can wake up today Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday or Sunday, whatever day it is you can say I'm done with that I'm not doing that, you know, and I think that Like that is one of the most powerful things that like a human can hear sometimes is like dude, whatever happened yesterday you can You can't rewind time unless you know how to build like a time machine. That's pretty intense But I think it's a great thing and I think it's empowering You know and it's given me a lot of power because I have a lot of the saint like self hate thoughts and a lot of [01:06:26] Jacob: Self shame a lot of guilt a lot of a lot of things that everybody has, you know and But what I what I say is I come out here and I say I'm not perfect and I haven't always been Um, and I don't expect you to be but like you can say today is the first day of your hero's movie And you could start getting to work, you know, you could start clean one pan And you know if you have a sink full of dishes clean one pan, you know, whatever you got to do make that choice Yeah um, I am pretty open and honest about like my depression as well and that's When it got really bad and I was having the suicidal thoughts and everything what What I realized then is it is about it's about choice again Like I there was too much to live for and too many people that would have been affected So I felt like I wasn't going to make that choice. So since I'm not What choices could I make to help build me back up? And I was on a really long drive when I was at my lowest point But when I got to my destination, that's when I went to the grocery store [01:07:27] Rebecca: I got the proper foods. I got water. I sat down and I started writing I wrote That's where like action comes into play Um, and that is so important to sit there and be curious like why do I feel this way not just repeating I'm Broken I'm sad. I can't do this like that constant repetition you start to truly It's your identity. You believe it. It's it is your belief. It is your experiment. Yeah Yeah, oh the second part of that quote that I said where your beliefs and your experiences coexist [01:08:00] Jacob: Yeah, um, all experiences are available at all times Oh, I love that. That's something right on your wall. Yeah, I definitely need that on the wall because we forget We forget that all experiences are available at all times. If you are on your rock bottom, you don't have to stay there You can feel those things but then you can also self analyze and that's what I did on a piece of paper I wrote down every single thing that was overwhelming to me that I felt that I had failed at that I just [01:08:27] Rebecca: Um, like a bad list almost I just needed to get it out on paper and look at it and like that doesn't seem very constructive What the next part is On the flip side of the paper. I literally wrote what to do about it each bullet point I found a solution for and then from that day, which was only That was last may it was kind of like after the diagnosis and that it can't there was a lot more to the diagnosis and just being told that it's like family stuff, but [01:08:56] Jacob: When I was at my absolute low point That was the only way that I could try to get better I was like, okay. What I'm doing is not working anymore. What could I do different? And that's what I made that list not every day I looked at the I looked at all the things and then I would flip the paper over and what could I do about it And I started to do those things and pretty soon on the bad side [01:09:20] Rebecca: Started getting crossed off because they were non-existent Yeah, that's the crazy at that's something that went when uh that when you realize like oh shoot like It's only been two weeks or it's been two months or whatever and like I actually don't do that thing anymore Like I actually don't have that thought or I like something that you literally two months ago or two weeks ago Whatever it was before you wrote it down like that's your identity like that's a daily thought like sometimes self-hate thought You're not worthy thought whatever it may be or like just trying to conceptualize it It's crazy to see that you could unwind that I had a thing that I wrote that was uh Like it was essentially like a dream list. It was like one day. I want to like do this like this is my perfect day Um, and it was like a it was like a pipe dream when I wrote it And I actually had put it up on the wall and I had so much shit on the wall that I like a bunch of those thoughts Um And a few months later I went back through and it was like a weird moment like before I went to bed [01:10:15] Rebecca: I'd grabbed it off the wall. I didn't even plan on it and I was just like glancing at it I don't even know like what led me to do this and I was I had this like Just softening and my whole body. I was reading it and just started balling I was like, oh my god. I did all these things today and like it was it was down to silly things for me. I was like, uh, you know, like [01:10:31] Jacob: Uh, record a podcast with this, but you know something like even just little goals, but also mental things. Um, [01:10:38] Rebecca: I think [01:10:40] Jacob: I gotta ask you something. Do you think that writing is magic because I think that writing is actual magic? Yeah, what okay, so obviously I was writing random letters love letters And what would happen is anytime we'd have like a disagreement or something. I would I would take to Writing and then because my hand would just move Very quickly and I would just pour it onto the paper. I actually learned a lot about myself It helped me figure out issues and then I feel like putting pen to paper it [01:11:08] Rebecca: It's your reality What I was doing was my reality It was taking all my thoughts and putting on paper and then I could actually read it back to myself [01:11:16] Jacob: I'm like, ah Do I like the story that I'm creating for myself? Like we'll know we have the option to create a different one how do you the How do you I'm just trying to think of like people who write it down and they're like, okay. What does this do? I'm trying How do you separate? How do you okay? So you write something down? I'm just trying to think I feel like we're not write something down. You almost You separate yourself. It's almost like that's not me or something like it's almost like this weird comment It's like a conversation with yourself that you have to be willing to partake in when you write, right? It's like How did you conceptualize like you write it down? And then how do you not turn that into like self-hate again? Because a lot of times I would write down I go you write these things and then I would look at me like you're a daydreaming fool You're uh about the good stuff that you wanted to do. Yeah Do you ever have anything like that like you write it down like because I always sit like on this podcast I preach like write it down and it's magic, right? [01:12:17] Rebecca: But sometimes you write it down and you don't really like some people just don't have the self-love to write it and then [01:12:24] Jacob: I guess See it as something they can change. Yeah, you know [01:12:29] Rebecca: From a coaching standpoint if someone says like I wrote down this list and it just makes me feel stupid [01:12:33] Jacob: Like I'll never accomplish it blah I would say like what is what is that trying to teach you? What could you learn from that? What would having those things do for you? And then we start talking about the more positive things that it could bring or Every once in a while someone has like an ecology issue Where let's I'm gonna go always back to weight loss. It's like the easiest thing for me to talk about right now But if it's like weight loss or like I want to wear a bikini at the beach I want to not get the belt extender on the airplane. I want to do these things I'm like, but I'll never do that. I never could I'm like, okay And we talk about what would Having those things do for them and bring them joy and comfort and like they'd be in family pictures And we find the why but every once in a while that why is because their whole family is overweight And if they lost the weight, they wouldn't fit in anymore Or like say that when it comes to diet or a family event They're like, well, I have to eat those mashed potatoes. Why? [01:13:29] Jacob: And then we work through a series of questions that gets it to like Well, I don't want to hurt my auntie's feelings because she's always made those for me and that's how we connect So it's just it's kind of like being explorative with yourself and your mind And there's always a reason why there's something holding you back. We just have to figure out what it is Yeah And I think keeping going and diving into it I mean honestly even just like still riding a lot of times you can almost figure that stuff out for yourself But I think it's cool that you're able to offer people like, okay, that's fine. Like you wrote that That's what's going on. Now. Let's take a look at it um, how do you work with people and even in your own life when it comes to [01:14:03] Rebecca: The family dynamics is pretty like [01:14:06] Jacob: Like wanting change like I have So it's difficult to be like, okay, I'm on this serious diet. Like I've been on, you know, Say I'm on whole 30, right? I'm eating this certain way and then you go to a family dinner [01:14:20] Rebecca: And it really is like this I'm not going to paint every like older person But like everybody's mom everybody's aunt is kind of a jerk about it Like it seems like it's very difficult Like you almost don't want to like make it a big deal. You would rather just say no to the mashed potatoes [01:14:35] Jacob: But it seems like this big old thing dealing with family Not at first Accepting your change. Oh, do you have any? I think that's a big one. Yeah [01:14:47] Rebecca: Own it you have to own it if it's your truth own it and then it becomes like If they're gonna make fun of it doesn't matter It's what you're doing and if they're not supporting you it doesn't mean that they don't love you It just means that they're not comfortable doing it yet And they don't have to it's not their journey. It's yours. It's your decision. Do what you want and come prepared And if that means coming prepared with your own whole 30 meal cool Or bring something whole 30 ish for the family to share But also come prepared for other people's shitty comments because they're gonna be there They just are anytime that someone changes a part of themselves There's some observer or a family member that's used to you fitting in the box that they put you in So if you step out of it, I'm gonna change them to do these things. It makes sometimes it makes other people uncomfortable But it doesn't They're uncomfortable. Okay. My favorite saying too is get comfortable with being uncomfortable [01:15:42] Jacob: Because that if your family member is uncomfortable and starts attacking you that makes you feel weird about the way they feel But you're ignoring you're ignoring your own self You're ignoring your own feelings because you're trying to keep them comfortable I like that. So sit there for a second. Just like all they're upset. I'm not eating How they want me to eat that's An interesting observation But my goals are this and I'm gonna stick to my food. Yeah, this is my this is my truth. This is what I'm doing Yeah, I think it's hard with With families, you know Families are always something that like I have a different weird family dynamic but I imagine that for other people who are like very close to their family Like if you do have your aunt's famous mashed potatoes all the time Like there is literally probably like at first she's gonna get Generally, I kind of upset if you're not eating the mashed potatoes, you know, I think that But when you could open up these conversations and when you could be stern with yourself I think that when you start seeing yourself as an adult in your family when you start saying like [01:16:46] Jacob: If I just walked up to your house and I didn't know any of you people You would respect me as a grown man as a grown woman But like for some reason I seem to be allowing myself to slip into this 15 year old version of myself Just because we came home on the holiday. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, we do that in so many ways, but I think that you know With family when you really start, you know, not being mean but just being stern just being like owning it like you said Foundries. Yeah. Do you find or do you have in any of the people that you've that you've also taught these things to Do you find that their families start coming around eventually or where do you what do you think? Certain family members But it's also important to remember that you can't let other people be the main influence to your own happiness Because if you did that you'd never be happy because you'd spend all your time trying to make sure everyone else was happy Yeah, and I know that I know that personally and with the clients. I hear it a lot [01:17:36] Rebecca: Absolutely whether it's the hairdressing or the coaching and That's just it's not a Fun place to be or you're waiting for something else to be happy [01:17:46] Jacob: That's a big one too because my favorite question to ask people is like, what do you want? Those people are chronically misunderstood and they're people don't listen. We listen to respond We don't listen to understand and so by asking someone like what do you want? They're they open up big time and then from there we'll talk about the family dynamics and like what they can foresee being an issue And let's go back to auntie's potatoes Communication is everything If you're that close to that aunt that you feel like you need to eat the potatoes to make her happy Why can't you have a conversation saying like hey auntie like I got diagnosed with heart disease [01:18:23] Rebecca: I can't eat that kind of stuff anymore um Would it be okay if I brought an alternative or [01:18:31] Jacob: Would it be okay if um, I just didn't put it on my plate. Would you understand? Right Maybe pull them to the side and tell them [01:18:39] Rebecca: There's roast granny. Yeah Carol [01:18:44] Jacob: Carol's always there. You know, it's funny is my one of my um, she's since past [01:18:49] Rebecca: But I actually have a grandma Her name was carol and for some reason like every time I'm somehow I'm just making fun of an old lady on this podcast I just name her carol in my head. I feel like I mentioned carol. She's my grandma's name is carol too Oh, sorry I'm just talking about her moomoo um [01:19:08] Jacob: So we have I'm gonna make sure we cover all of our bases here I love jumping around in casual conversation But I always want to make sure that we that we bring it back to like what you're what you're Trying to tell the world here. I know there's so many different like is it faucets? [01:19:28] Rebecca: Bassets I was gonna go with faucets. There's so many faucets out there. So many sinks faucets sinks faucets and facets There's different avenues and there's so many especially when you're in the beginning stages of really learning stuff There's so much Interesting knowledge that you want to share with the world and everything So it is hard to like pinpoint it down bring it down to a niche of some sort And that's like at the end of the day That's why what I do is labeled like have it change Because I want to be able to remind people that they do have control of their life If you don't like your relationship We can work together to get you to where you want to be like whether it's that's fixing the relationship We're trying to like mend things Or to get out of it or if you don't like your job [01:20:13] Jacob: Is there a conversation that needs to happen with your boss or like your um co-workers to your roundings? Or do we need to get you set up for a different career opportunity? it's any every single person seems to have something so vastly like different but it all stems around making choices Like the right choices instead of the ones that we're used to making our like normal habits It's almost like it's this thing where you realize you have choices Right like it would we go our whole life just doing the same things and we're like fine It sucks when that happens We don't realize that at some point you can just put a wedge in it and be like i'm gonna do this now Like just change it up and it sometimes people are too scared to change it up and that's why we offer the Let's see what happens. You can always come back to your old behaviors, but why not see what happens Do you like do you like that experience? Okay now? Let's try something more and see what happens. How was that? It just sets up like little tiny baby steps to make people more comfortable with the shift because [01:21:13] Jacob: That's the black and white mentality sometimes is like just completely shutting a door And running into a different direction like that's not always Yeah for everybody. Yeah, you got to be able to take a look at it Uh, I think that I think a lot of people What's your experience with? I use the word mental health with my podcast It's a mental health podcast and sometimes I have a little fear that it gets thrown into like Oh, only if you have severe depression and you want to kill yourself should you listen to my podcast like or like [01:21:45] Rebecca: Mental health is something that people It's either a fad that they that they get into they think or they think that it's a um Something that's like a when I get to where I need it That's where all but I think that mental health is something that with this crazy world The way that we're living as humans the way that our minds work. We're understanding our minds in different new ways Um, we're becoming aware of many things that 50 years ago humans just weren't aware of I think that mental health is for everybody I think that [01:22:20] Jacob: What's your experience with? [01:22:23] Rebecca: People who I'm trying I'm trying to word it People who don't want help but I'm just thinking of people who avoid things like this conversations like this because they're doing just fine [01:22:38] Jacob: You know what I mean like and not that everybody like I think everybody could be better That's always a cool thing, you know, but I think a lot of times people are suffering their own self without realizing it Yeah, yeah, mental health does have some sort of like stigma to it people [01:22:52] Rebecca: It's becoming more and more like socially I don't want to use the word acceptable But people have a better understanding of what it means because people are being honest about it And yeah, there is that like stigma behind it and sometimes it is a push with clients to get them to open up about their thought processes But that's when I just kind of like veered a different way and we start talking about physical health Or like where they're at spiritually or financially just kind of Helping people open up a little bit and then that often turns into the way that they're thinking about stuff And then I just say like oh This is an opportunity to talk about the mental health part of it. And if they recoil a little bit, I just pause I let them sit there on their own discomfort and then normally they soften 100 of the time so far [01:23:39] Jacob: They've just softened and been like Okay, tell me more. Tell me. Okay. What do I do? What are my options? [01:23:47] Rebecca: Because even though they're not able to fully Understand how to make options for themselves. They at least are starting to understand that they're there Yeah, yeah, I think that's like one of the biggest things is realizing that they're there [01:24:00] Jacob: Like you said you started writing like just figuring it out. You just sat down started writing I mean I like when I was just super bummed Like when I first started writing on this wall That was kind of how it was It was just like too many nights of coming home and just falling on the floor crying this time I was like let's sit here crisscross applesauce with a sharpie in my hand And figure out what the hell i'm thinking Yeah, you wrote it down and you were doing something creative. So you are breaking your cycles. Yeah Breaking cycles. Have you um, how do you what's your I might jump into like too spiritual or too metaphysical here, but uh What's your what's your thoughts on like breaking family cycles? Like I have like Following my history uh like of my family my family tree like there's just like depression suicide um Mental breakdowns like it's just on both sides. It's everywhere and I had a few homies over last night or uh like last week . We had a few beers We had a we had a podcast and we were started talking we got on this page of like all three of us in this room had like [01:25:05] Jacob: Very similar experiences when we were young like we started talking about those And we kind of had this moment of pride where we're like, you know what we're fucking breaking that though Like we're not like yeah, our dads did that to us. Yeah, yeah our family had that happen But hey guys like we're in this room breaking that cycle um in a lot of times that there's books and there's all these things of like breaking the trans dimensional curse or whatever i'm using words like the Breaking a family curse essentially like you have these things like my family's always been like this And I was taught how to be like this since I was 15 or whatever But we're discovering now like we can start changing and making our own choice I'm like, okay, that was how it was for my family for my lineage my dna But like that's not how it's going to be if when I have kids That's not an option. You know, absolutely. Yeah, you think that's like a thing like just breaking those curses those Right. Yeah, it's a definite thing. Yeah. Yes me and my cousin we sit down and we talk about this often because we [01:26:07] Jacob: Even though we have different sets of parents. It's from the same upbringing And we both went through situations that we didn't know each other went through even though we're only a couple years apart because there's Like the family secrets too And so part of being able to break those cycles is to recognize that they're there in the first place [01:26:26] Rebecca: Because do you ever I mean as a human and you get worked up you ever end up saying something that you wish that you didn't say Yeah, but you don't want to be wrong. So you're gonna stand there and be right. Yeah, you like bury yourself [01:26:39] Jacob: Yeah, help yourself from that wrong thing you said. Yeah, or you just you just keep pushing like That's a family thing for me. And yeah, it takes a lot of effort To break the cycle, but it is possible And that's one of those things about being able to step outside yourself and ask like was that the best reaction? Or actually pay attention to how it affected the person that you're talking to Like oh, I saw that hurt them like crap that might have been my intention, but I don't like how it feels That's an opportunity for you to like shut your mouth for one second Sit there in that feeling and then make a choice [01:27:16] Rebecca: To correct it. That's the first step I agree. I think Gosh, it just keeps everything we've been saying just comes back to like this noticing that awareness like that moment of like [01:27:29] Jacob: Give yourself a second. Yeah, notice it acknowledge it. And then if you feel like it's not suiting you anymore Change it if you don't know how reach out for help Or do the research on the internet or ask a friend or ask the person that you're talking to I have to do that because I was raised in a really rigid home So I have those rigid habits of my own and I would didn't I wasn't allowed to make a lot of choices growing up that were made for me And so as an adult when I make one that's it. No one can change my mind So all I am doing is repeating the cycle So now when I Even though it's my habit to be that way and I feel like I can't possibly have a conversation I have to be so like this is what I want. This is my choice You can't tell me not to do it or change my mind in any way [01:28:16] Rebecca: I'm I see the reaction on my husband's face and then I'm like, okay [01:28:22] Jacob: Can I try that again? And that's what breaks the cycle is just by simply asking like can I try that again? And how does he does he leave you room for these? Absolutely I think that's the receiving side is a huge thing Like if you're on the other side of someone like clearly like you love this person And they're just a little frustrated. They're trying to figure out what they think And you know, sometimes we say things we don't mean sometimes We like kind of mean what we say it or whatever an argument or something But I love that he's like willing to like allow you to like the room to say like, all right Yeah, let's redo that. Yeah, he's granted me so much room to grow as a person whereas My past relationship not so much, you know, like this is it's so nice having a partner that's always Trying to be better themselves too. So we do give each other that leniency to grow And sometimes one of us is sitting there while the other person is like doing growth And then we're not completely on the same level, but then we sit down and talk about that too [01:29:18] Jacob: And that's I don't know it's all about communication and recognizing what's going on and then Um just when it comes to the family cycles and stuff if you don't like how things are [01:29:28] Rebecca: , if you don't like how it feels You can change it You can get up you can stand up and you can do something differently Yeah, and habits are hard to break sometimes they just come out of your mouth, but you could say i'm sorry [01:29:40] Jacob: That was that's something i'm trying to change right can I try to word that differently? I think that when in when you're honest about stuff like that like this podcast for example Like sometimes I put my foot my mouth and I kind of say the wrong thing or I like for some reason I seem to be mixing up. I always mix up the word serotonin and dopamine and in oxytocin and I say that incorrectly, but like I'll listen back and sometimes we're so afraid of saying the wrong thing because because Do you think it's because our world our media are like whatever has always been like remember this person said this thing 25 years ago They said there's one wrong sentence and now they don't replay the clip Yeah, but I think that we're going to start realizing that every one of us has said some stupid shit Once or twice or 50 times or 50 times a day You know we're not we're not simply our words because when you ask somebody like oh, what did you mean? And you just give them a little bit of room public That's it too if the if you're standing there and you're not quite sure what the other person means [01:30:36] Jacob: Ask right don't assume that you know what someone is trying to say if it's not completely clear right ask questions [01:30:43] Rebecca: Be curious. Yeah, I have conversations Gosh in being able to ask questions. So this is another we're shifting from that position for that person The receiving end so someone is talking like asking questions. Okay, you don't understand it You're on the receiving end someone's trying to explain to you're a little frustrated [01:30:59] Jacob: You're like, what are you trying to say here? You're on the receiving end of this conversation listener? I think Realizing that a lot of us have [01:31:10] Rebecca: Places that we're coming from we have [01:31:13] Jacob: Pre-opposed [01:31:16] Rebecca: What's the word I'm looking for When a homeless man walks up to you, this is going to be a stretch of hanging with me [01:31:22] Jacob: The homeless man walks up to you versus when your mom walks up to you think about your body language So when a homeless man walks up, but you're like not totally comfortable You know, maybe he like doesn't give the appearance that he's well kept that he's had he's well-said Like you know, these are obvious things. I'm not saying it's a judgment on the on the homeless man, but we have Yeah, we have Areas that we come with so when we're talking to the homeless man It is going to be a different side of our like mind like a different conversation a different Place we're sitting in Um than it is if our mom's talking to us, you know, like there's or someone that you love that you're talking to You're going to leave them so much room because you're like, I know you so well I know that you don't mean to hurt me with what you're saying But a lot of times when it's a homeless person they walk up to you and they say Hey, this thing you automatically say whatever they're saying is just Selfish or it's whatever you don't you don't leave them the same room as someone you love as you're judging them. Yeah [01:32:15] Rebecca: It's that immediate judgment like Yeah, I think we have different judgments on different types of people different Situations in our life. I had a small video on my YouTube that was uh picking up a piece of trash And it was like The way that I in the piece of trash was a coffee cup The way that I held would hold a coffee cup. That's mine Is warm and I want my fingers to really feel it and I love it and I hold it close to my body But when I picked up a piece of trash in this YouTube video, um, this is also just I wanted to tell everybody I pick up trash But uh, but I picked up the trash and I was holding it with two fingers [01:32:47] Jacob: And I wasn't fully touching it because it's so much it's garbage, right? But it's a coffee cup. It's the exact same thing that if I purchased it with my own money I'd be holding it close to my heart. Do you be gripping it? I'd be feeling the warmth of the coffee But when we pick up a piece of trash, we're kind of like we hold the way I think that we treat conversations like this sometimes we come we come to the conversation Not assuming the other person's trash, but we're kind of holding them with two fingers They kind of outwards like oh like you're saying this thing But um And if it starts to make sense now like that's kind of like the way we treat a homeless person But when it's your cup of coffee, it's someone you love you give them the grace You give them the room that they need to tell you like oh shoot. I didn't mean to say that or I mean the Here's my intention Some people are the opposite too because when it's family, you know them so you can be more aggressive or more assertive and then They're just supposed to deal with it or if it was a stranger [01:33:38] Jacob: You might have more compassion because you don't want to be seen in a certain way. We do flip that all Yeah, it's that's in every situation we ever talk about there is multiple Perspectives to have but it's not interesting. Yeah, so that's when it's just about being curious when you feel yourself have any kind of emotion whether it's um Scared of a bear or you're fearful or like questioning why a homeless person would be like approaching you or your mom Walks in the room lovingly like no matter what it is if you're just curious Just if you feel yourself feel a thing Just get curious about what it means Because so many so many times we can paint ourselves into these corners of not Of thinking they mean this thing or thinking they're assuming this but it's like, okay, wait I know that you're a good person. You don't mean me harm with what you're saying It seems like what you just said was a little intense like what Like let them have some room to reword it if they want to you know, yes Um, and that comes full circle with the repeating the family stuff too is like often with your family You're comfortable to act like a little shit sometimes [01:34:36] Jacob: Right a total brat. Yeah, and what about with your loved ones? Like is it okay to vent your whole day to them? Hmm like and to take it out on them Right That's a good one. That's a good one So do you ever do that like when you had a bad day You just want to like get a hold of your loved one and just tell them everything about it and just like Because there's a balance of Just having someone that you can share At all times I think facebook does this for us when soon as something bad happens We have a place that we can go vent about that bad thing the [01:35:12] Rebecca: Both of my career fields whether it's hairdressing and the coaching. Um, there's confidentiality behind that So like yes the day could weigh very heavy on me, but I can't repeat it So if I need to get it out there like to my husband I will say do not ask me any questions. Do not ask me who it is. Just listen to this Um, if the weight got too heavy on my back, but then there's another little tidbit a little tidbit [01:35:36] Jacob: For you guys If you are in a career field Where you carry a lot of weight from other people's stories or if like You're around certain people that steal your energy or just add a lot to your plate [01:35:49] Rebecca: Um, I don't remember who came up with this but the threshold theory So when I was in the salon and I would get that information at the end of the day I would flip off the light switch and then I would walk through a threshold I'd leave that shit inside the salon door and shut it because I'm that's my job. I chose this I it's a It's a blessing that people open up to me and it's not a burden. It just I'm [01:36:14] Rebecca: Empathetic. Yeah, so I carry it but That's my role during a work hour. Then I'm a wife Like then you're a mom then you're a husband when you walk through your home door So if you like visually you're walking through a threshold be a better person be a better spouse Step into those shoes like be able to leave it at the door So that's definitely something that had to work on because if I were to tell someone the things that I hear Then they have to carry it too and it's not their job. They're not trained To be able to separate that because there's a A compassion But it's slightly disconnected. I don't have to feel your pain I just have to listen to it and as a professional I'm able to do that Like it helps it so other people can tell their whole story and be completely heard is Someone else isn't trying to feel it for them. I'm here to listen I kind of as you were talking about I was kind of envisioning like Like a monk like say you're talking to a monk. I feel like he'd be so calm [01:37:17] Jacob: You're just like, oh this thing happened and this thing happened He's just sitting there. He'd be so calm like he would take that from you just fine But then he would he wouldn't like push it back out in that same way to anybody else in his own way of stories He would just he would calmly handle that and he would he would I don't know what amicably like allow you to release it. I guess I think that's super incredible. Yeah, when people open up about stuff It's I'm just there to hold the space and then when they tell me what they want or what it would do for them I get to remind them why they why they sat down in my chair in the first place Like remind people of their why so if they spill their guts to me and I sit there like a monk calm I just hold on to all the information Sometimes I jot it down to have it for later And often those things come up again, and I'm able to remind them like either why they happened Or what we can do to prevent them in the future or future or sometimes It's the things that they are crying about. It's what they most desire [01:38:12] Jacob: I can pull that out too. So it's like yeah, so I'll handle all the things that you say with care [01:38:18] Rebecca: But I'm also going to like file it [01:38:20] Jacob: Just in case Right I like that's good And I really like the part where you said you turn off the lights and that's like a threshold you walk through So that's kind of like when I say you give things power. That's like you made like this like ritual So for this if I'm understanding right you're like at the end of the day you're like cool Okay, I'm turning this off. I have all whatever is going through my head I just heard about Cynthia's divorce and I just heard about You know Claudia's car broke down and like all these things and so when you walk through that threshold It's like this moment you give yourself this I'm walking from this door to this door in the dark And you're just like letting it I'm keeping this here like you're so you're kind of What's uh, I love that I just I just wonder how can we empower other people to insert parts like that into their life? Like uh, like I'm because I think I do have when I walk in here in the morning I say good morning drunk-cared love Every morning and I think that's my I think that's actually my like [01:39:14] Rebecca: Whatever like I said sometimes I'm going through I wake up and sometimes my mornings just aren't so great right away I've got to kind of insert my own stuff But I do have that good morning drunk-cared love is what I say every morning when I walk down here I think that's kind of a you're like blessing your space Yeah, you're acknowledging it and like thanking it like a morning I think that's important. What if people did that to themselves more people do that to themselves And even if they don't own their own business their own whatever like I think just Walk it like you have co-workers you work at another salon you work at somewhere else with other people like Say it under your breath like you know give yourself that power when you walk in Or even looking in the mirror and doing it that is an interesting exercise Tell me about mirror work. Have you done me work? Uh, yeah, here's the simplest exercise for people to try Look in the mirror look yourself like in the eye the best that you can And tell yourself you like say I love you Can you do it? Yeah, so many people cannot. Yeah, I couldn't I don't know it feels weird [01:40:09] Rebecca: I'm like I feel stupid. I'm not doing that feels good. I didn't love myself then It is so it was such a bizarre exercise And it took a long time for me to be able to look in the mirror and start pointing out the things that I love And some of the things that I hate. Yeah, I have a Pardon me while I wipe my nose here But I have a I have a friend Nate. Um, he talks about how he used to actually get ready in the dark He's like a motivational speaker now and stuff But he talks about how he hated himself so much and he didn't even realize he was doing it or why he was doing it He just thought like I just don't turn the lights on in the morning He hated looking at himself in the morning because he was ashamed of who he was and what he was doing But he then started like realizing he was doing it Started looking in the mirror and then like it's hard. It's really hard and again It feels weird, right? It feels like fake and contribe and like what am I doing like if somebody walked in this room [01:40:59] Jacob: I would be so embarrassed but like That she has power look yourself in the mirror like yeah, I mean Nate told me you know got power for him Um, what do you say? So like you ever have like conversations with yourself in the mirror like [01:41:14] Rebecca: Let's see. Yeah. Yeah It's mostly if I find myself being the opposite of what I'm trying to be I'll make myself say out loud the opposite Of what I am initially thinking Like if I'm looking in the mirror and I just like I don't know have discussed Happening then I will notice that and then stand there and be like, okay I am not disgusting I'm awesome Like I have beautiful eyes like just start it feels weird even saying it out loud on podcast because it feels vain in some way I'm like no it's self love It's it why is it so easy for us to tear each other or ourselves apart and then It's really hard to give compliments to ourselves or to take a compliment Yeah, that too. I mean that's something that I'm still I like Shay and I've been talking about a lot lately. I close off receiving like a Like so many people message me and are like talk to me and And just say thanks for the podcast and thanks for like whatever And like I have to make sure now and it's good and I'm better at it and I really like it now, but I used to like literally I would just The instant thing I would get these texts or whatever and I would just be like [01:42:25] Jacob: Fuck I need to respond to them so they like feel important like I literally just reflect as soon as I like [01:42:30] Rebecca: Deflect it and not actually be like Gosh, you know what Jake like you're doing good, man Like or you know, now I like I'll show shaley and I'm like hey, babe Check this out and she goes oh and I go oh and we just like hug each other [01:42:41] Jacob: And I'm just you know, we're excited for where we're at, but I think you gotta Gotta give yourself those like things, right? Yes Um point out your accomplishments. Yeah, write them down. Yeah, I [01:42:53] Rebecca: I am So there's another method and I without reviewing my notes I don't ever remember like who originally thought these things up [01:43:00] Jacob: But you know how like productivity is often a list and we check it off a to-do list And as we go through that list We start to feel a little bit better as we you know tink it off the list But if we don't complete it, we feel like absolute garbage We beat ourselves up like oh, we didn't manage our time correctly all that we start picking the day apart I'm a list making mofo. Yeah, that's how I feel good [01:43:26] Rebecca: It started to really control my attitude So then I heard this thing called a to-da list Where if I'm feeling unproductive and then I didn't accomplish anything or maybe there's 15 things on my list And I only got a couple done A to-da list Is the opposite Like I'm retraining my brain to have a different outlook and so what I did that day Is all written down and then I sit there and acknowledge it Right and lately with the gym too. I remember what my body could do 10 years ago And so as I'm like running or doing something I can feel myself comparing and despairing to my old Habits like my old self what I look like what I could do And I noticed that so then in a note section of my phone I literally says accomplishments and it says I ran five minutes straight I lifted this like I showed up today and I didn't want to I made this choice And anytime I start to get down at myself. I'm actually like no I did these things And I let myself feel the positivity. I let myself [01:44:28] Jacob: Celebrate me instead of compare Right It's awesome. I think that's so good, you know, we live in this I think a lot of times people We get afraid of like tooting our own horn because there's like this ego like Uh Like show off sort of thing that we're always so afraid of being like we're always like oh I don't I don't want to hype myself up because I don't want people to think I'm cocky or whatever But it's like dude you to you should be cocky, right? Yeah, you should be talking to yourself like you're awesome Like you did those things today and sometimes that like writing something down like so say if Even on listen you may do this. Do you ever write anything down just so you can cross it off immediately? Yes, yeah, that's like the best instant It wrote it down because I already did it Yeah Well, seriously a lot of we got to look at how our brains work like Listener if you've ever written a list and you or you accomplished something and you crossed it off that felt good as shit Didn't it? Yeah, exactly give yourself that you probably did maybe you [01:45:23] Jacob: Maybe you like didn't hit all your goals today. Maybe it was just kind of a half ass day Or maybe you're just feeling like I didn't do anything today Um, I think that you'll find if you do if you didn't rebecca just said just like Write that down. What did you do a to-da list or what? Ta-da, yeah, did I list so even if there's nothing on the to-da list Like you said you wake up the morning you have this full list of things you're gonna do and then something happening [01:45:46] Rebecca: You just like sit on the couch It would be really easy to turn around and be like, wow. I really messed up this day [01:45:54] Jacob: Or did you need a day off? What's the positive intention behind you not being able to get off the couch today? Let's honor that you needed a rest day. You had a crazy day at work Like maybe you just had a fight with somebody or like maybe your Loss is the weirdest thing on the planet Something good, you know, someone could pass away or you could You know go through something like that and then one year later you just find yourself sitting on the couch sobbing about it What's the positive intention behind sitting on the couch not accomplishing anything? There's always a reason. Yeah, maybe you just needed to feel that. Yeah, maybe it's Yeah, a lot of our do you think that do you think there's a lot of stuff that we We don't slow down enough to give ourselves time to process it Yeah, I think there's a lot of that stuff that pops up. Hey, that's why someone asked me how I am I say I'm busy is because if I don't stay busy and I'm slow for a minute Tears will just stream down my face because there was so much I wasn't dealing with right [01:46:51] Jacob: Yeah, but I think when you find little areas of your life, like, okay, I can deal with this part right now Feeling strength for this. I think sometimes that's what that's what life is. Yeah You got to almost build your resilience. It's like I know I got to handle that shit I got to be resilient before I handle it. So let's like get there Well, that's something that happens too when people are feeling that they should Honor the sadness or that they're going through something and they're like, I'll deal with it later Okay, you can do that But then it might start to pop up in other areas of your body Like are you are you having a breakout or like with me is my neck hurting more because I'm being tense Are is your bells? Are they acting up like the stress the emotions? You don't handle it. It's gonna show up in other areas of your life. Yeah, I think I'm a Not a majority. I don't know. That's a broad thing. But like man stomach pain stomach issues gas the gas pains like Holy crap. It's so related to our mental health. The body keeps score. Have you read that book? That's a book [01:47:48] Jacob: It's literally a book called the body keeps a score. I have it over there and I'm like I was gonna well. Yes, actually you could totally borrow it. I started it Um, I haven't totally gotten through it. It's super good so far But I did do the thing where I like watched Interviews about it and I read about it on blinkest and so in my head. I think that I've read it But I feel like I didn't but no, yeah, the body keeps a score. That's like a little bit more In-depth, but our body really does hold on to trauma something that meditation teaches me is the [01:48:21] Rebecca: The I don't know the better at meditation is a weird sentence to say but the better I get at meditation the The further I progress in my path in my stages Um, man, I realized that like I could be sitting there on meditations and I'm thinking a thought [01:48:37] Jacob: Not realize I'm thinking it, right? You're lost in thought. You're like, oh crap And you remember like, okay. I'm meditating back to the back to the attention here But at that moment you literally feel like you're Your left shoulder blade kind of dropped down a little bit Like it's these weird sort of things and in I can't wait to you know In the coming years with like my writing and my research I really hope to conceptualize this to like really help people out with this because I think it's crazy important I'm at the beginning of just experiencing it myself and I'm yeah So do you ever have any um for one? Are you a meditator or do you? Oh, this is how much time do we have now? Okay, so I did try meditation. I'm always seeking calm And quiet and where I can collect my thoughts because [01:49:22] Rebecca: My head is chaos So I try to combat that with calm and through counseling and different coaching methods and different retreats and stuff It always kept going back to the person that was giving me instruction when I would say I yeah, I just like to sit in my quiet time and like sit in my meditation pillow I had my salt lamp all the things like just [01:49:44] Jacob: Try to breathe into that every single person was like, why don't you dance? Why don't you try something else? And I'm stubborn so I was like, no, I'm just not good enough at meditation And they're like, well, how's it working for you? Way to call me call me how may it works sometimes. Okay Like, okay. Well, what would it feel like to try something else? I'm like, oh, I feel resistance coming up Would you be willing to try? Yes, when could you do that? [01:50:10] Rebecca: Today Like that's how coaching works is that like makes you be your own Savior easily. I love that. I think a lot of that's so great and dang it. They weren't wrong [01:50:21] Jacob: So I'm always seeking calm But my whole like atmosphere is always calm and quiet because that's how I was raised be quiet Go to your room And so that's what I try to recreate And when I started to like let the music take me and you as a dj can appreciate this I'm sure let the beat take you away tears will just roll down my face and like I get this huge release I'm like, what the hell? I need to incorporate more fun and more play into my life Because and that's something to pay attention to is if you're seeking constant like meditation Or the opposite where you're seeking constant like go to the bar play Swap it try it do something different for a one week And see if you have Anything that improves in your life. Yeah, I'm super into just like trying things I love that like if you just have like a maybe just give it a try seven days five days two days Even like one day one time whatever like just give it a try What do you so when you dance have you heard of like ecstatic dancing? I have and I have this resistance towards it after a treat [01:51:18] Jacob: I just got back from they had that one night and I went like nope And then I keep it keeps popping up. There's um Up north just a little bit. I think it's either in toodle and it's a newer thing that I'm aware of Camp running wind or something like that. They host it. They host it all the time There's the drum circles and meditation things the I'll go with you if you want to go I seriously I'll do it. Okay. I'll find out more because it'd be uncomfortable I'm a I've gotten better at dancing by myself of this Like I'll put up my mornings where I just I make sure nobody's gonna walk through that door You know, I feel comfortable But I'll just feel beautiful and dance around, you know, just Just whatever I got to feel that sounds awesome though. So um So what do you think like What do you think that is like dancing right like It just does it move our analytical mind out of the way? You think it breaks everything up a little bit. Yeah, it breaks up like that static Yeah, it's running through you all the time [01:52:16] Rebecca: That's just so crazy. You could see that like the reason you're not doing it is because of resistance But that's what you know that you need to get through. Yeah, we're still now. I'm not going to be, you know I'm uh Because I haven't so I'm What one thing that I'm where I'm at now is um Allowing myself to ask for help and for me that means Um I'm doing everything by myself. Yes. So like my first yoga class was Like three weeks. I've been doing yoga for like every day for two years My first year class ever was like three weeks ago or a month ago I think It was because I was like I was like I was doing it my way I don't like to I'm like a friend of masks and personas I turn on in front of other people But I imagine that I'm thinking about it that I was crazy anxiety that particular night. So I still need I need to like I'm going to go again But with dancing I imagine that really rips down that like when you're dancing around other people other people are Not that they look foolish, but they're doing the same movements as you [01:53:22] Jacob: We're all just being a fool out there on the dance floor. It doesn't matter. Yeah, and you're [01:53:28] Rebecca: They're not even paying attention to you They're doing their own thing So you pay attention to yourself too and just like Let it go it's so This whole process of like self growth Like as a coach, I have to do the work first and it's fast-paced and it's every day and there's an assignment every day It's kind of exhausting And sometimes I just have to sit there in my growth and acknowledge how far I've come And then also I have to say like whoo. I'm gonna sit here today. I'm not gonna do anything [01:53:57] Jacob: I'm not gonna do the work today because [01:54:00] Rebecca: I'm proud of how far I've come But then like with all the forward momentum of it feels good to keep trying new things and there's many laughable moments because I just end up calling myself out all day long and just laughing at My rigidity or the stubbornness or like how silly it might have been for me to not try something new Like I was too far. I was setting my ways. No, my way's the best And if I just let go of all of that and just try and be more curious and be more playful like Have a more child's mind kind of even though i'm an adult and I am a business owner and all these things but no one to let loose and [01:54:37] Jacob: It's such it's so amazing Child mind. I think I think we all need to like Not pretend we don't have it like not I think it like find it first. Where is it? Yeah, right down under all that? [01:54:48] Rebecca: Responsibility like [01:54:51] Jacob: Like when you see [01:54:53] Rebecca: Because like I'm a dj But like I had all like social anxiety and depression and all these things like when she and I first got together Like we would go out to clubs and we would dance and like we love dancing and all these things but then over the years I would start to get like more and more self-conscious and then it turned into like my stage presence [01:55:08] Jacob: I'm like pretty much just like wearing my hat as low as I can and trying to like bob my head forcibly, you know um so far disconnected from what I really started with which was like, you know Music and like just playing music for other people is one of the coolest things you could ever do right? And allowing your body to like be moved by it like just to shut your brain How other people are perceiving that moment like you get to play the music and they get to feel what you Like kind of want them to feel like the vibe you it's so I love and respect what djs can do. Thank you Yeah, I uh, it's changed a lot over the last of the last years for me Um, but it's something that I'll definitely hold on to like it's something that Like I have some ideas and things that I've been working on, you know as far as like a moment I really like the storytelling like the I'm gonna I'm gonna take you through this journey of like my inner being through music Um, but it's going to point out things in your inner being, you know, and I think that like [01:56:09] Jacob: There's so much power in that when it comes to music like music is music is a very like interesting thing Like frequencies and sound, you know, we're so used to it, but we don't ever really take a look at like Oh, shit. That's a crazy thing. Like it's a it has a powerful like that's why there's sound therapy Have you ever done any other any of that? No, no, I'm still I'm sitting where I'm at right now and there's a lot of different avenues that I can try Uh, I have a whole list of things that I would like to try [01:56:36] Rebecca: But once I'm completely done with this Schooling because it takes up a lot of my time and I get overwhelmed with all the things that I should be doing Could be doing want to do and I really have to narrow it down to Um, what will get me to my goals Sooner right You got to take it one step at a time. Oh, yeah That's something that I really have to work with my clients as well Because there's so many avenues they could try like meditation dance journaling take a bath All these different things that they feel that they have to do them all or they're doing it wrong [01:57:05] Jacob: No, no, no, just if you feel yourself being anxious or you're overwhelmed pick one of the things They're all tools You don't have to use all your tools at one time to build something just hold one out Well and give it a try you don't have to say I'm doing this from this day forward forever every day You know like some days that right there when you say that your mind is enough to be like, yeah, it seems like a lot I'm not gonna do that today. Oh, yeah You know, you got to simplify it when it comes to when it comes to dancing So you were saying that Like moving around seemed to be like that was that was your meditation like that broke through Things with you. Yeah, what is your art if you're willing to share like what's your like private? Like do you just put music on and lock the doors and just flail your arms around like how do you go about this? if I were to let go of all Of the like insecurities or fears of like other people and I'm working on it actively But my kitchen has the best acoustics. It's the concrete floor [01:57:59] Jacob: It's like a concrete box and so I just put the bow speaker all the way up In the correct weather conditions. I'll open up all the doors and windows get that fresh air in and just Oh like create a playlist that fits the vibe that you want to feel And play it loud Dance like no one's watching I love that. I think that there's a lot of power in Because I have I have a lot of the same things now when I put on music and I'll A lot of times I don't want to you know, I'm like, I know I see I step back and I see you're being a grumpy fuck [01:58:32] Rebecca: Jake being a turd and then I so I put it on and I you know [01:58:36] Jacob: Okay, like and if you just close your eyes and You know take the corners of your mouth and give them a little smile and in In that part of you that knows that you want to dance that knows that like This is gonna make me feel better the part of you that gives yourself the smiles in the corner of your mouth That's the real you that's the real you and the real you get stronger the more you move your arms The more you kind of just let yourself go to the music. There's no right and wrong in this any song any [01:59:04] Rebecca: Whatever like just dance alone I think it I think a lot of people would probably find that they're going to start balling their eyes out if they started doing [01:59:10] Jacob: Yes And at first when I started doing that too I was very robotic and I didn't feel like I had a lot of movement and Because I do very static movements when it comes to the gym Like every and I was a cheerleader too. So everything is so robotic and square And dancing is like fluid and so it was very hard for me to like move my ribcage away from my hips If that makes sense, like I totally yeah, shaley can twerk. Rebecca cannot Like it's just she's got moves and it's beautiful and it's free and just watching her makes me [01:59:43] Rebecca: Feel good wow and it's inspiring That's one of those moments where you can compare and despair or celebrate [01:59:50] Jacob: You know like I could be like well, I can't dance like her so I shouldn't Right or I can see like damn that's inspiring that is awesome that she can do that Let's see what my body can do. Yeah. Well, I can't do that, but I can do this I'm getting close and then you'll be surprised at how much you can progress in these things like even just like Like just being able to like move your left hip and your right ribcage at the same time is like something Just don't talk about yeah by usher. Oh, that's the ban of my existence [02:00:26] Rebecca: Um, but the uh, I think that [02:00:29] Jacob: We're just dancing. We're gonna put a dance break in right now. Uh, no, it really is good. I have you know, I have Other friends. I have musician friends who are music 24 seven there Like they understand emotions deeper than I ever could because they're they've explored the depths of their guitars You know, like I oh, it's just crazy, but these same mofos like will tell me that they need times to like put on some something else They need to put on something that's not the music. They let's do it not the not the skillful guitar Not the not their favorite thing, but something that's going to make them happy. I'm like whether that's like Uh, send me on my way by russet roots or it's uh, oh my god, that's the best song reminds me of a tilde man Like I always love that scene, but uh, you just got it like a song that makes you have if it's sweet caroline If it's mambo number five if it's uh, I think that like lyrics Like if it's young gz put on because that was your jam in 2010 that's cool But you know, listen to what you're what you're uh, listen to the lyrics [02:01:38] Jacob: Well, also you can recreate like a mood from the past like one of my this is [02:01:42] Rebecca: So funny one of my clients came in and she was having a really dark mood And so I put on email music and I was like, let's sing as loud as we can And I was dyeing her hair dark brown. I was like, let's get into it. Let's feel it Let's feel it all the way through. You're feeling sad. You're feeling Um, you're really feeling it. Okay, let's I the whole salon like turn the lights down a little bit Like we just rocked out through it and by the end of that we were laughing and dancing Having such a good time because we worked our way through the emotion We tapped into it a little bit and also When you were a kid and you were feeling like angst and your problems were smaller [02:02:19] Jacob: You know perhaps, you know, everyone goes through a different thing But if your problems were smaller than they are right now if you can't pay your house bill [02:02:25] Rebecca: Things like that Um, it just felt fun to like tap into our like teenage bratty selves and like rock out to it and then Be able to breathe about it later. Like we just Listened to like the old fallout boy stuff and yeah sugar. We're going down. Oh my god. It was so fun I haven't done that. I haven't let loose in the salon in a very long time either because it's like [02:02:45] Jacob: Who's feeling for you? It's a professional setting, you know I try to make it professional and calming and I try to listen to that person I was like, she didn't want to talk She didn't want to talk, you know I'm like, okay. Let's listen to music. Let's do it and it was fun. Great. I got to be dj [02:02:59] Rebecca: Heck yeah [02:03:01] Jacob: I mean, that's exactly what it is. I think it's so cool that you know a lot of I kind of [02:03:06] Rebecca: Think about the society we have we have Like when you're feeling ill like mental health you go or when you're feeling physically ill You go to the doctor when you're feeling mentally like how you go to the counselor the therapist [02:03:18] Jacob: I think that You know a big thing you can learn from just like having open conversations with people is like everybody's Can be your counselor like everybody can be you know and that's a Don't put all your stuff on other people But I think that you'll realize there's a lot of people that are better That are in your life that you can go like as you're getting your hair like that's that person Like she's got some experience, you know, can you trust that person? Yeah, well that too Yeah, that's where the intuition comes around again is like can you trust that person if you can [02:03:46] Rebecca: That's my all it is the biggest blessing and I just feel so great that my clients can come in and tell me Whatever they feel safe enough and it is a huge compliment in the weirdest way That when someone can step through the salon door, they just start crying because they feel relief that someone is going to understand them It's I'm just like this is why I do what I do Whether it's salon or counseling, but it doesn't matter It's super important. I feel like you play a pretty damn important role in society. Thank you [02:04:15] Jacob: I'm trying Good and that's I'm glad you're trying when they ask you like rebecca. Why are you doing this? Like for one because of my neck but two because it matters [02:04:25] Rebecca: And the experiences that I've gone through They've been pretty severe and I don't talk about them very often But in order for those not to be in vain [02:04:35] Jacob: I help people work through similar things with like without judgment and Actually giving people tools so they can work through them faster and have a support system And that's something that I wish that I had And so it is an honor that people open up to me the way that they do [02:04:52] Rebecca: Likewise [02:04:53] Jacob: Yeah, I get on here and I'm like, oh man. I you know, but it's like a uh reifying circle it's like a Like there's some moments where I'm like, whoa like hopefully I'm like the person who could who could handle that and really like help you with that Like I like you just open up to me in this way and like I you know All you want to do is like Make sure you're handling it well but It's also like this at the same time It every time that you trust yourself to say like, okay, this person trusts me I'm gonna trust me too And I'm gonna tell them what I generally think and I'm gonna you know In be in the moment Don't try to just like repeat stuff that you read, you know be in the moment and really talk to that person But I think that it's And then when they leave, you know, because you probably experienced this too like There's moments where it's like, oh, I'm super confident I gave this person this advice but they leave and you're like, holy shit. I'm sweating like oh my god I hope I just told them the right thing. I know I'm sweating too. I'm always sweating [02:05:47] Jacob: But uh, like it's uh, you kind of as much as that person trusts you've got to also take that trust to yourself Right and then tomorrow you can when someone maybe someone comes in with a heavier problem You can say like, okay, I'm ready for this because I help this and it seems like that'll stack up You know, you could help so many people just keep stacking up that confidence in that real knowledge and that real ability to listen Well, the cool thing is too is like with hairdressing for 10 years That's a lot of people to sit in the chair and share their story And so I've heard so many things that I've also seen so many people overcome Stuff so I feel like There's a lot of knowledge in this brain And not only my own personal experience But I have people that I could reach out to too and say, hey when you were going through this What was helpful? [02:06:32] Rebecca: I don't I will never disclose what someone is going through that is my client And anyway, but I can still reach out and find all the different resources And then we create an actual community around certain issues because sometimes it feels isolating to have the [02:06:49] Jacob: Depression anxiety or Circumstantial things like situational things that happen in your life where you feel like you can't open up to people That's crippling too. Oh, yeah It's inside your own head cavity It just bounces around in there and we think it has to stay in there, you know You can talk to people who are in your life. Like, you know, you know, I'm I always encourage people Um, I just shaley just helped me make my [02:07:11] Rebecca: It's not first but counselor appointment therapist appointment I definitely encourage people like if you if you have the strength to do that awesome But you know, if you maybe you're not there yet, look at the awesome people you have in your life Like next time you get your hair done like, you know Yes, yes, um When it comes to so what stage are you at with Wyld Wellness? Oh, okay. So I would still call it more of like beginning stages even though it's been [02:07:37] Rebecca: About a year. So I am I have completed the health and life coaching like I'm certified in those things And then I took it one step further and I'm doing a mastery program. That's an additional year. That's all about ecology It's about why people do what they do and what to do about it Like it's what taps into our upbringing or the way that our minds work into things And so right now I'm doing all of the work for that I have to go through it before I can properly teach it But for Wyld Wellness when it comes to like the life coaching and health coaching, I'm open for business I'm in the middle of transitioning people out of the salon atmosphere into a coaching atmosphere and my favorite part that I'm starting is the retreats and those are the hikes because every time I go on a [02:08:28] Jacob: A hike I get hundreds of messages saying like can I go with you next time? Where's that like? Yeah, no, it's always can I can you take me? Can I go with you? They need a guide Okay, tell me about these retreats then so you're gonna you're gonna start taking people with you and walking Yes, like rent out big lodges and have groups of women or men too, but it's mostly I work mostly with women Go to these retreats And so there's a group of people who are at a certain skill set and I'll space that out to whether it's like beginning or [02:08:55] Rebecca: Super hikers or I would say that I'm moderate, but other options are available I'm just so excited to be able to offer something for people who want to get out in nature They want that wild side because wild that has to do with getting out into nature and eating the foods from the earth But it also is because life is wild y'all Like wow, I just I can't believe some of the stuff we see or hear or feel or experience It's a freaking wild this is the craziest time to be alive It is and it's a there's like bad parts of it, but ultimately Yeah, it can be really good too. That's why wild and well is like What my whole business is encompassed around because it's important to acknowledge that life is wild It's important to eat from the earth and to get out in nature And then also the wellness thing the mental the mental health. Um, those retreats are going to be both [02:09:49] Rebecca: You know when you get to that top of that mountain We sit down and we do some journal work And I'm in the process of like building the program for that and then I'll be able to find the locations and open it up for Enrollment crazy excited. That's awesome. Thank you. I'm so excited. That's so powerful I'm just thinking of like so like okay. Someone's going through some stuff. Okay. I think I'm ready to go to the counselor Like that's awesome. That's so great. But like what if I'm going through some stuff I think I'm ready to go on the hike and write the journal Like that could be a normal sentence like you could be like the person who's like Like a day of counseling, you know, that's like what it is and not just counseling but Expressing yourself and living your life and feeling what it feels like to be alive and sometimes even just that A hike can really interrupt a lot of the bullshit that you forgot was on like all like Oh man, I was thinking crazy about that or I was like I came out here because I thought I needed to think through this thing [02:10:41] Jacob: But what I really needed is just to be here not think about anything. Yes, you know That would be a choice if someone didn't want to like do whatever program I had written out Which is just ultimately like a series of questions to work through an issue of any kind Um, they can just sit there and breathe in the air because sometimes that's all someone needs to Reset right and you have a lot of experience like being able to like read people and know like what they need So I think that's great. I can imagine just over the years. You're just gonna get better and better too I know I'm so excited to see what happens. Like this is the coolest thing about this being in the beginning of stages [02:11:12] Rebecca: It can take me anywhere and that's like I know that there wasn't a definite direction that this podcast went But that's the point guys is like there's so many different avenues that life is going to take you down And it's important to have a support system that can help encompass all of that. Yeah And you're available. I am available. Can you tell just so we don't forget at the red at the end [02:11:32] Jacob: Can you tell everybody where to find you how to spell things correctly and make sure? Yes [02:11:35] Rebecca: So Wyld Wellness is w y l d Wild and then on any of the other social media platforms. It's wildandwell. com and wild and well on YouTube [02:11:47] Jacob: And I do are you able to link stuff in your like a drop-down box? I can definitely do it Perfect. We'll put it there so you don't get confused Yeah, and if I forget remind me because sometimes I like think that I just type all my whole things out And I don't add the link so you don't see it on there remind me. Okay, um And then I just really want to veer off aggressively. I was looking through your Instagram this morning And you wrote an elephant. Oh, yeah, can you tell me about writing an elephant? This is so cool I so elephants are so elephants in giraffes are a couple of the animals. I'm just like I can't stop looking at them They're just so profound, right? You should go to any I think most of the zoos have where you can have encounters with the giraffes Where you like actually hand feed them and stuff. I haven't done that I think I've been too weirded out by their purple tongues But now I think I might want it if you scroll even further you would see my face getting liked by a giraffe What did I feel like? Was it like a rough sandpaper? Oh, I can imagine [02:12:34] Rebecca: And it left grass all over me But the Thailand writing an elephant. Okay, so we tried to pick a A reservation that was there to help the elephants get better and then they used the money To help the elephants in some way. I can't remember all the details of it because that was a while ago, but [02:12:54] Jacob: It was Um a unique experience It just once we were up there on them And you know almost too late to turn around because we're in the middle of a pack of elephants going down a mountain. It didn't feel Right Yeah, like there's they're so intelligent and so beautiful and so smart And you could tell that they didn't really want you on their back So we actually rode down the mountain on the elephant. We bathed them and then we refused to ride them back up We hiked Me and my friend that went to Thailand. It just there was something it didn't sit right because um Their eyes are so expressive and you know how you can tell a dog if they don't want to sit or don't want to lay down Same thing with the elephant like they their body laying which said like, please And to get back up on them you walk up their [02:13:39] Rebecca: Face So, um Maybe not maybe go to a place where you can bathe them and feed them and help rehab them But I wouldn't I don't like how I felt after I feel like it's good for you for recognizing that though I think a lot of I don't think I think a lot of people Maybe don't have like the ability. I don't know abilities right word, but Like Get out of their own heads to like notice like oh, this is like a [02:14:02] Jacob: Being you know, this is like a thing of its own without me Yeah, I felt bad because like obviously we went to do that It was something that we really wanted to do we thought it'd be this awesome experience. It was like it's content for the Instagram and all that and I hesitated posting it because I didn't want to encourage people to do it like Obviously any picture that you post you can make it seem any way that you want like and it was a really cool experience But if you can go and help the elephants without riding them I'll go that route because it's still we had so much fun just interacting with them They're I don't I think I think that it is kind of funny to think about you're like what like Why do I want to ride the elephant like because it's because it's because they offer that like, you know I mean like they're like, oh They're like oh tourists want or whoever wants to ride an elephant like let's make that available But like I think realizing that like that's cool Maybe you're drawn to that but it is cool that you're able to realize like oh, this isn't the part that I wanted out of this [02:15:00] Jacob: I want to see this beautiful creature. Yeah like helping bait it like that's super cool [02:15:05] Rebecca: It's cool that you're able to like see Put in that wedge in it. I'm like no Thank you I know I and I hesitated to say anything almost because I could see you light up like oh this is a dream of mine I want to do this I'm gonna crush this dream. He wants to ride an elephant. No, I actually don't think that I would ride an elephant It seems it seems uncomfortable for me. It's itchy [02:15:23] Jacob: They're covered in really pokey weird hair And we tried to do it as ethically as possible. So it was bareback very and it's hot there. So you're wearing shorts [02:15:34] Rebecca: Very [02:15:35] Jacob: Okay, where else do you have any other animal stories? Where else have you been? Have you? I think if you like want to travel four animals specifically the dominican republic offered a lot like they have a lot of animal encounters there and a lot of monkeys and Snorkeling there was one of the best places that I had been. I'd have to review. I have to look at my list Right. Yeah, no, but traveling is something I definitely encourage people to do and that's definitely the wild part [02:16:01] Rebecca: Um, just because of the learning opportunities as Americans or like our culture we like to try to buy happiness and because we're one click away from a A moment of happiness or we see it. We want it. I buy it Um other countries don't have that luxury and so it's really humbling It was dominican as well because it's like half 80 half dominican and the poverty there is unreal [02:16:26] Jacob: So when I went there and um You see that their houses are basically like chicken coops and it's just this weird thin mattress on a floor but They are happy They were sharing bread on their porch and dancing around and laughing and I [02:16:42] Rebecca: To witness that I'm like, oh man I'm so thankful for the opportunity to travel to see those things to put my life into perspective Like it's not about the shit that you own Right. It's about being around other people and being a good person and appreciating what you have and Like looking at that sunset or sunrise or just appreciating the moments of life Yeah, I think when you realize that when you see a sunrise you're like, oh money didn't buy this [02:17:07] Jacob: Oh, yeah, you know, and then you go to another place and you're like They don't have any money and they're happier than you know, not happier than me. That's a it's a stretch, but like they're happy [02:17:17] Rebecca: And that's what we're all seeking 90 I would say about 90 percent of my clients the very first thing when I ask them [02:17:23] Jacob: What do you want? They say to be happy, but they can't define it. It takes worked to pinpoint. What is happiness It's kind of like the life, isn't it? Like that's kind of like your life is like figuring out what makes you happy And it's almost like a cop-out answer. I just want to be happy like yes, we do How are you going to get there? What does it look like? What is happiness? Do you paint me a picture? Paint me the most vibrant picture of what you think happiness is Now what steps you need to take to get there? Let's break it down into tiny little steps and get up off the floor Let's make the first one. I'll hold your hand. I'll be here. I'll be here if you fall That's kind of like whether as a friend or whatever it is like It's just it's really important to have that support system and When it comes to the wild part go out and see some shit go see what's out there go learn go explore be curious Have fun. Yeah live life be happy Yeah, that's happiness to me try shit and step out of your comfort zone and be willing to [02:18:20] Jacob: Remain in disbelief like if like if you're with people who All of a sudden they take their shoes off and they run through the grass because it makes them happy Like what if you just like I'm gonna take my shoes off and try it to I don't know why not You know, is there a moment that you might have judged those people like what are they doing? If you feel that judgment come across be like, maybe I should join them Maybe you need it the most because you're resisting at the most Yeah, I think of as you were talking I was thinking about that guy I see this saw this video at the gorge where there was this guy dancing by himself He's just in the middle of a field He's one guy and he's dancing for a while and like you can imagine people like look at that guy What's he doing? And then like, you know one guy ran over and there was two people dancing And then like two more people ran over and then within 30 seconds It was like this boom and you could tell that just gave me the full body. Oh my gosh, right? [02:19:05] Jacob: But think about it in this situation if you're if you're looking at somebody listener and they're the dancer by themselves Or you listen to somebody and they're the dancer by themselves and they're doing their thing Or even if there's just it's already five of them out there 30 of them out there like instead of experiencing Where you're at compared to them in talking about that in your head What if you just say screw it and go dance with them and see what that feels like And then afterwards you can say, oh, well, here's what that was. Yeah. Have that wonder. Yeah Go explore go join go feel it go feel out the music. I love it Is there anything else that you would love for the listeners that Junkyard Love Podcast to hear today besides drink water? I always tell Yeah, drink water and remember that you have more control than you think that you do And that all experiences are available at all times Love it Give me a fist bump Appreciate you listeners. Have a good rest of your day. Drink some water. Take care of yourselves. Be wild. Bye guys One more thing before you turn this thing off check your posture. How's your water intake? [02:20:09] Jacob: Look around. What's your environment like? What's it smell like? What's it sound like? Get present Get grounded wiggle your toes stand up straight be happy to be alive Put this phone away, but before you do that go ahead and share this thing Send it to a friend if you liked this episode five star the podcast on apple or follow it On Spotify whatever you got to do wherever you're listening to this YouTube any of those places Like it thumbs up share any of those things. I would greatly appreciate it and I think people Listen to it as well. Take care of yourself. Peace out