# Episode 057 with Soul Coach and Mindfulness Expert Anna Cantwell - A Teacher Of The Human Spirit

- Episode: 0057
- Date: 2020-10-04
- Duration: 2:09:54 (7794s)
- Guest: [Anna Cantwell](/guests/anna-cantwell/)
- YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O9NoXjLJYcM
- RSS: https://share.transistor.fm/s/7caa7d35
- Audio: https://2.gum.fm/op3.dev/e/pdcn.co/e/pscrb.fm/rss/p/pdst.fm/e/dts.podtrac.com/redirect.mp3/media.transistor.fm/7caa7d35/4109318c.mp3

## About

If you have a mind, a body, and a soul.. boy oh boy is this the episode for you. Packed with magnificent knowledge of our inner workings as human beings - this conversation with Miss Cantwell is hit after hit of internal freedom. By way of her own personal journey Anna shares valuable information on trauma, chronic pain, healing, spirituality, meditation, changing toxic habits, mental growth, curating optimism, yoga, psychology, neuroscience, cannabis, depression, psychedelics, synchronicities, self-awareness, self-actualization, mindfulness, teaching, learning, serving and tons more.

A highly active mind from a young age, Anna shares her childhood stories of loving nature and wanting to break from the molds of other peoples' induced identities. Insatiously curious but caught under the pressure she self-assigned - Anna developed chronic pain, fear of making mistakes, and a desire to always "get it right". She suffered, like many, with the fear of being accepted, and later in life - she suffered sexual trauma and it's ensuing injustices. Healing from her past and its accompanying disassociation to the epic jam of Katy Perrys 'Roar', Anna now leads mindfulness courses, teaches meditation and yoga, helps women in her Soulshine Courses and Mindful Living Mentorships and shines brightly for a living. Her story she shares here is inspiring and packed full of fantastic firsthand wisdom towards new meditators, mindfulness practicers, and self-love seekers.

We talk about using the breath and cannabis to reduce inflammation and regulate chronic stomach pain, using plant medicine to connect with the body and manage affliction, and changing our perspectives on "party drugs" and "the devils lettuce". How on (or off) earth does seeking the divinity help with the management of depression and anxiety? Anna clearly and cleanly explains this by simple and useful analogies of our brain's neural pathways and an explanation of our insane amount of daily thoughts as humans. (Of which are 90% the same as the day before, mind you.) She talks becoming worthy with your own permission, tending to your internal garden, separating your'self' from your environment, and shifting from survival mode. We talk about mindfulness off the cushion, choosing to choose your own beliefs, working with the body's natural cycles, and creating a reality that you are in love with.

If you'd like to check out more on the sagacious Anna Cantwell, she teaches weekly live meditations online and offers multiple courses through her website and social media accounts. Her website is annacantwell.com and her Instagram is @iamannacantwell - where on the daily she shares inspiration, truth, wisdom, and love.

If you enjoyed this episode of The Junkyard Love Podcast - please consider sharing with a friend, leaving a star rating or review, or hitting subscribe or follow in your chosen listening app. Keep on lovin' yo-self.

## Chapters

(none published in episode notes)

## Quotes

- "In the wind I feel Spirit, when I'm swinging on the swingset at recess I am matching my breath and constructing universes in the clouds, that was me as a child." — Anna Cantwell
- "That insatiable curiosity was really hindered by this gripping of identity, trying to 'get it right', needing to always be 'the best', not 'my' best." — Anna Cantwell
- "I have to leave this battle here." — Anna Cantwell
- "Am I willing to see this, differently?" — Anna Cantwell
- "The base definition of hope is seeing a more positive outcome, and multiple pathways to that outcome" — Anna Cantwell
- "Comparing is one of the silliest things we do. Why would I ever compare myself to someone who hasn't had the lived experience, or the DNA, or the childhood, to get you to where you are on your journey right now? OWN where your journey begins." — Anna Cantwell
- "Meditation is like showering for your brain" — Anna Cantwell
- "Your home is your vision board, surround yourself with the symbols that mean something to you." — Anna Cantwell
- "You are not something broken to be fixed, you are a garden to be tended to" — Anna Cantwell
- "There were some seeds planted in all of our gardens that we never chose, we may have to do a little tilling and digging of the earth to uproot it." — Anna Cantwell
- "I just want to help people feel comfortable in their own bodies" — Anna Cantwell
- "It can and will get better. Choose to look for the good." — Anna Cantwell

## Guest links

(none published in episode notes)


## Archive picks

Extracted from the YouTube auto-caption transcript and published About/quotes already on this episode. Labeled separately from Jacob’s published About / Chapters / Quotes / Hashtags.

## Memorable quotes

- [00:14:08] Anna: “Just feeling In the wind i feel spirit when i'm Swinging on the swing set at recess i'm Matching my breath and i'm constructing Universes in the clouds”
- [00:19:00] Anna: “however i just That insatiable curiosity Was really hindered by this Gripping of identity trying to get it”
- [00:41:05] Anna: “meditators is am i willing To see this differently am i willing to See this scenario in another way am i willing to see meditation in another way”
- [00:46:45] Anna: “The base definition of hope is Seeing a more positive outcome and Multiple pathways to that positive outcome right so it's just acknowledging this could be better something”
- [00:50:09] Anna: “kinds of things and Meditation is like Doing any of those things it's like showering for your brain it's just that daily Process that we require to keep”
- [01:32:35] Jacob: “be fixed You are a garden to be tended to i really like that stood out and you mentioned ego with that as well um i had heard”
- [01:34:35] Anna: “know there were some seeds planted in all of our gardens that we never we never chose and If that's grown and we've watered that thought or idea”
- [02:04:58] Anna: “that i can say is it Can and will get better choose to look for the good”
- [00:22:48] Anna: “synchronicity I would listen to roar by Katy Perry On repeat i wouldn't dislike That was my anthem it was to me it was So much about having”
- [01:41:46] Anna: “People are so uncomfortable in their own skin you know they feel like something's always wrong or if they have pain it's pain is very root chakra Right”

## Chapter-style timestamps

- [00:00:06](#t-00-00-06) — Opening bumper — Junkyard Love
- [00:02:21](#t-00-02-21) — Guest intro — Anna Cantwell
- [00:03:07](#t-00-03-07) — Conversation starts — sunrise / fires
- [00:10:14](#t-00-10-14) — Eckhart Tolle — beauty / enlightenment
- [00:14:08](#t-00-14-08) — Childhood — spirit / nature
- [00:19:00](#t-00-19-00) — Identity pressure / get it right
- [00:21:37](#t-00-21-37) — Trauma / healing arc
- [00:22:48](#t-00-22-48) — Katy Perry Roar / reassociation
- [00:31:26](#t-00-31-26) — Breath / cannabis / chronic pain
- [00:41:05](#t-00-41-05) — Willingness to see differently
- [00:46:45](#t-00-46-45) — Hope — pathways to outcomes
- [00:47:56](#t-00-47-56) — Comparing / own your journey
- [00:50:09](#t-00-50-09) — Meditation as showering for the brain
- [01:07:42](#t-01-07-42) — Psychedelics / neural pathways
- [01:28:08](#t-01-28-08) — Home as vision board
- [01:32:35](#t-01-32-35) — Garden metaphor — not broken to be fixed
- [02:06:59](#t-02-06-59) — Close — website / courses
- [02:08:19](#t-02-08-19) — Outro CTA — water / self-love


## Keywords

Anna Cantwell, Junkyard Love Podcast episode 0057, JYLP 0057, A Teacher Of The Human Spirit, soul coach, mindfulness, meditation, yoga, trauma healing, chronic pain, cannabis, psychedelics, neuroscience, neural pathways, self-love, garden metaphor, Hope, Soulshine, Katy Perry Roar, Eckhart Tolle, Jacob Rhines

## Hashtags

#AnnaCantwell #JYLP0057 #JunkyardLove #TeacherOfTheHumanSpirit #Mindfulness #Meditation #Yoga #TraumaHealing #SelfLove #Soulshine #Hope #JYLP

## Short guest bio (from episode speech + published About/links)

Anna Cantwell appears on Junkyard Love episode 0057 — A Teacher Of The Human Spirit. Jacob’s published notes call her a soul coach and mindfulness expert who leads mindfulness courses, teaches meditation and yoga, and helps women through Soulshine Courses and Mindful Living Mentorships. In this conversation she and Jacob talk childhood curiosity and identity pressure, trauma and healing (including reassociation to Katy Perry’s 'Roar'), breath and cannabis for chronic pain, neural pathways and hope, meditation as showering for the brain, the garden metaphor (not broken to be fixed), and creating a reality you love (annacantwell.com / @iamannacantwell).

## Transcript

[00:00:06] Jacob: Hello and welcome to the Junkyard Love Podcast At what age do we learn how to have Better conversations At what age do we learn have better conversations with ourselves Howdy duty Radiator Springs it's me Lightning McQueen the host of the Junkyard Love Podcast i'm super happy you're here today is Day four of Sober October for me uh i'm rocking it with my homies a few people been on the podcast Brandon Cruz Zack Wilde uh Nasty Nate Matt Young i got a couple Other homies the next episode with uh Conner Anshutz he's on it too uh shout Out to everybody who's participating in whatever your version of Sober October is i think the point is just to get a little handle on our habits right you know we're just a ball of habits we just do the same things all the time and when you want to step into your future self and feed The future you rather than the right now you really beautiful things can happen so day four i'm feeling pretty good i wish i had some coffee we're doing no caffeine uh i've got no caffeine no alcohol no

[00:01:25] Jacob: Masturbation and no weed so i'm not sleeping super well the caffeine would help but i'm gonna be just fine i'm gonna be all right i'm not gonna die everything's good and i just want to wish that to anybody else who's going through their version of Sober October if you want to start your own version there's just do it pick a friend don't pick a friend put some dates on your calendar and just stick to it just do your thing two weeks of No notifications going to your phone uh One week of trying to sleep on your back rather than on your stomach uh doing five minutes with stretches before bed for 14 days whatever it is in your life try To drink gallon of gallon of water a day or maybe A cup of water a day if you don't drink any water which is ridiculous you should drink more water just set some goals for yourself If you don't have anything right now i mean covet is kicking our asses man

[00:02:21] Anna: Don't let it keep kicking your ass if you've got some boundaries that you want to set if you've got some structure that you need to build for yourself i'm just i'm just here with my friends you know to say you got this you can do it stick to it You can do this let's get rolling with The podcast I'm super happy y'all here today it's With Anna Cantwell she is just wonderful everything about The mind everything about the spirit everything about self-love mindfulness she's a coach She's a meditation teacher she's a yoga instructor uh she taught writing she's taught young children dude just super blessed to have her on Today um crazy amounts of golden fantastic

[00:03:07] Anna: Nuggets in this podcast i'm on social i'm not on social media right now so if you did enjoy this episode if you enjoyed maybe a clip of it if you enjoyed just some of it whatever if you could share on your social media or just send to a friend whatever the more people that uh we can help with these fantastically wonderful conversations the better you know so take care of yourselves challenge yourself a little bit set a goal and stick to it you got this Let's go Anna hello hi jake How are you i uh i'm doing swell i woke Up to the most beautiful sunrise probably one Of the most beautiful i've ever seen in my whole life and it was a whole moment so i'm feeling really good that sounds amazing was it uh was it tinted like red or orange because of the smoke is there any smoke over where you're at there was the past couple of days but Not so much today i will say a few days ago it was Totally gray and then the sun was just This bright like pink orange orb

[00:04:17] Jacob: It looks like you know a hole in the sky It makes you feel like you're in the Truman Show or something right very Star Wars Kind of ask really cool and then also You know it's mixed feelings right there's these fires ablaze and then you're also seeing this beautiful you know byproduct of it right yeah i feel like it's almost when you see uh like a red sun or a red moon or any of those things like when it's fire you're like i do i feel guilty about saying that's beautiful in a strange way yes absolutely it's so that's such a Funny um i don't know such a funny concept Paradoxical yeah i mean that's the thing about knowledge though once you like you could see it like wow that's just mesmerizing but then once you learn the knowledge of it being painful for other people it's like oh i don't know what to feel now but um yeah overall beautiful i was just i was down in um like reading Lake Shasta for a few days

[00:05:11] Jacob: And uh yeah i love it there we go on vacation fairly often down there um and in the mornings it was just like i'd get up to go on my run and it's like oh it's smoky but then you just see this the craziest red morning sun ever and so it's just it's Distracting and mesmerizing and wonderful but uh i'm back home now and it's Kind of just muggy and there's a little bit of smoke in the air it seems like the fires are somewhat getting under control so that's always good to hear um anna So let's uh let's tell people of the Junkyard Love Podcast the listeners so we actually got linked up through Your friend chase i've worked with chase before um he's a good guy he's a stud he just Worked on the David Blaine's ascension did you see that oh my gosh it's like up but to the eighth degree Yes really just beautiful Beautiful and badass and strangely Hopeful yeah i feel like that blind blow through The sky just thousands of feet up with these big colorful balloons

[00:06:19] Anna: I love he was talking about i watched him on the joe rogan podcast and he was talking about how he really wanted that image like he didn't want like a visible giant visible harness from a distance he didn't want like a bunch of like stuff showing like they have a couple like gopros and stuff you can kind of see but he really just wanted that like that still shot of just holding one hand on i just thought that was so cool i'm like dude you're such an artist you know he's a magician but he's really an artist truthfully like creating something that only he has done oh my gosh and what and what an experience i was talking to a friend about it and it was just a nice You know not to him small but to in the Grand scheme of things a small symbol of hope for the time i thought

[00:07:00] Anna: That was a beautiful interpretation indeed yeah and then i mean the fact that chase was working on it i mean he's one of the best i've worked with him on a couple shows i've worked with him uh on a few student organizations years ago and then we've actually worked together on like a hernia society like some hernia conference at some point so we have like funny stories together but um great guy it's super cool that we got linked up um i love that this podcast seems to just like it just connects me with people that i never thought that i would have the opportunity to connect to and uh it's just like it's really great you know we can talk about synchronicities later but those are those are what i like to sprinkle on i'm like well hey this came up and it's i'm not expecting it but i think that i need to say yes to it you know that's how i've been feeling i love it and it's such it's a beautiful Beautiful web because i feel like you know the conversations that chase and i already have are so just podcast level

[00:07:54] Anna: I'm like this is awesome just talking about some Of the most rich and beautiful deep concepts in all Of the universe and the fun stuff like synchronicities Like last night so i just for context I recently moved to joshua tree from la so out into the high desert and for a myriad of Reasons and just really looking for some spaciousness and deeper connection to nature it's really important to me and i had One of those you know those things for your car that reflect the sun so it doesn't get you know hot as hell um that was in our house and i was like Oh i should go put this in the car right now so i took it out last night to put it in the car and the second that i stepped out i looked up into the sky and i saw The most beautiful longest Shooting star i have ever seen I was just sitting there mouth a gape Just dumbfounded completely Astounded as it just travels it felt like it traveled so far And then just hung there just saying hey girl It's gonna be all right yeah wow dude

[00:09:08] Anna: That's great you know what's funny i feel like i always have like a i'm whenever i'm looking at the stars i'm always enjoying it but there's a thing in the back of my mind i'm like man i wish one of us was shooting right now it'd be cool to see like you're always like kind of wishing for it but then that's the thing is you're just like you just went outside to go get a sunscreen thing and you look up and of course there it is and also isn't it crazy to think of the Science behind like when you see a shooting star you know it's like billions of years old or like it's isn't happening anywhere near the same time frame as you that's just mind-blowing yes and someone recently told me that It's like frozen and it's the water That's burning off through i don't know I didn't fully understand it and i don't need to fully understand it appreciate it

[00:09:57] Jacob: Yeah it's amazing it's just it's so Funny how you know we could be so complicated creatures but then also things like a shooting star or just the stars or a waterfall we're just like oh amazing just get lost in it you know It's so great totally and this is it's a concept that

[00:10:14] Anna: I love that uh Eckhart Tolle talks about a lot that Things like flowers things like crystals are Such beautiful representations of enlightenment because you know they have sure Some purpose right pollination whatever But in general flowers pretty crystals They're just beautiful they're just absolutely beautiful and the fact that we get something from admiring them just because they're beautiful not because any you know anyone or anything really made them that way they just are and that brings us to a space of Enlightenment just by being able to appreciate Beauty for beauty sake yeah totally I like to uh my like i went on my run This morning and uh what i like to do there's this cut out towards like the beginning of our town and it's this i mean i think it's over a hundred years i touch it all the time i should know but i think it's over 100 years old they took like this big stump and they put it sideways and they put like on the rings like what year it was you know like 1917 1924

[00:11:23] Anna: You know um as exact as they could i'm sure but like just seeing that um You know something there's something about beauty that also reminds you of your insignificance Like at the same time you know that sounds kind of it's not supposed to be depressing or sad but it really is like oh yeah i am only here for a minute

[00:11:43] Jacob: Amount of time you know like you feel uh i had another podcast guess a life coach actually as well uh and she loves saying take me somewhere where i feel small rebecca wilde was her name yeah and i feel like when you when you see things that make you feel small and significant there is a beauty in that like this it's like a reminder that you don't know anything and that's okay in a way you know oh it's so funny this Morning at the breakfast table we were talking about insignificance and the idea that oh this is so depressing to be so insignificant and i said no it's not at All it's oddly relieving to feel that you Know what i ca as much meaning as i love to infuse Into life and purpose and passion like all of that is wonderful and my life in the grand scheme Is about as long as that shooting star that i saw And that's okay it's wonderful in fact Yeah it makes it that much more um

[00:12:46] Anna: Special somehow i mean yeah we have the ability as humans to give things power in that manner but i feel like even before we give them power there's just this knowing of the Power that it holds just being kind of in the structure of time itself um so i want to

[00:12:46] Jacob: I want to give the listeners a little bit of your background so you can start as far as you'd like you're in joshua tree now um but you know i want to talk about your journey with your spiritual awakening i want to talk about yoga i want to talk about meditation uh where does it feel like it starts for You

[00:12:46] Anna: december 10 1992 I was born um no I am one of those people who just the Sense that i have my felt sense is that i was So to speak born with my third eye open Meaning this that i was very naturally Attuned to the spiritual realm i always As early as i can remember felt deep Deep empathy felt deep connection with nature Felt that kind of awe and enlightenment That's so needed to see beyond just our

[00:14:01] Jacob: Little boxes and our little spheres you know what i mean the bigger picture and i felt i remember

[00:14:08] Anna: Just feeling In the wind i feel spirit when i'm Swinging on the swing set at recess i'm Matching my breath and i'm constructing Universes in the clouds that was me as a child And i wasn't it wasn't like i was some buddha because pretty soon i found out that i Had anxiety and i had this also highly Active that's how i like to call it highly active mind that for a long time Went and jumped to i would say somewhere Around like eight or nine years old kind Of when the pure the pure innocence of childhood really starts to fade away that i felt this internal Anxiety this pressure this What if this horrible thing happens and My imagination kind of um spun out i guess And it wasn't like i had any i had a Beautiful childhood i had a ton of time too and i'm so grateful for it to play outside in nature i was in nature a lot i was reading a ton and part of that Really like i said it grew my imagination it grew my perspective i read so much

[00:15:33] Anna: That i feel it really gave me kind of a

[00:15:37] Jacob: Head start on putting myself in other people's shoes you were reading like right around the age of nine like are you talking right after that or oh yeah just i mean reading is as early As i can remember i feel like i was reading books at you Know small books at six and i love i love Reading as well oh it's like it's the best i remember reading um you know things like lord of the rings in like fourth grade and just so weird i literally read that I okay i feel i know i'm already interrupting you on your story i'm sorry anna but i feel like as you're speaking of these things so i was born a few months before you i felt similar i always felt very black sheep um and then around when i was around eight or nine i had like that's when my like life trauma like my family

[00:16:22] Jacob: Things started happening and so it like opened me up to this whole different version of myself and i started experiencing anxiety and those sort of things as well super crazy and i literally read lord of the rings i don't think it was in fourth grade but it was somewhere around there but yeah so um yeah continue going so you're reading you're going through this experience you're experiencing anxiety totally so i'm You know as school does and i feel Like i can also speak to this because i was a school teacher as well um that you know It's about deadlines it's about Getting it right and not necessarily learning so i really Took to that i was like okay we want to get it right let's get it right and you want to be the smart kid okay let's study as much as we can read as much as we can be very much kind Of the like good girl archetype teacher's pet and coming

[00:17:16] Jacob: From you know part of it's coming from a pure place part of it's coming from what i believe is my kind of intrinsic motivation i've always been intrinsically motivated but then of course i wanted as our Little egos do to look smart and be smart and That kind of became my identity and that Is a really delicate thing to try to uphold when you're spinning lots of plates and you are trying to just Hold on or grasp on to a certain Identity whatever it is if it's the top you know You want to be the best athlete or you want to be the most extroverted or the performer or Whatever it is mine was like school getting it right So i worked really hard and i had all of this chronic stomach Pain it was so interesting to see the direct Correlation between the pressure that i was putting On myself because i'll admit fully there wasn't a Ton of external pressure it was some a lot of it was Internal pressure and then some of it Is just the expectation that the people In our family are high performers so

[00:18:33] Jacob: This is nothing exceptional this is just expected right and that really It bread in me a lot of a lot of fear Of making mistakes and that Inhibited what my true nature my true Essence desired which is learning I was always so curious and i just wanted to learn as much as i could about as many things

[00:19:00] Anna: As i could of course some subjects interested me more than others however i just That insatiable curiosity Was really hindered by this Gripping of identity trying to get it

[00:19:15] Jacob: Right trying to are or needing to always be The best not my best right or not the best With my mental and physical health still Intact so really after that i I went to college i you know i went from Being like big fish in a little pond i grew up in tennessee and you know with the Beautiful nature and connection to animals and all of that also came some small-mindedness Right and was really religious And followed that really strictly too because that's another thing you can get right and you can check the boxes and you can be accepted and belong and it's not all coming From that of course however there was really a part of me too that loved just the exploratory nature the inquiry and i realized that what i Do now is so similar to what i was doing Then when i was as young as i can Remember seriously like third grade fourth grade I was leading small groups of people and Studying the bible and journaling through that and asking questions and using it to reflect and that's

[00:20:35] Jacob: A lot of what i do now just not necessarily with the bible i think the bible is a beautiful text Has tons of truth and wisdom to glean And it's not necessarily the full Picture right so once i went to college Things really opened up however Um i don't remember who says this is a pretty famous one there's no coming to consciousness except through pain i don't i know yeah you want some like Some cold truth for like high school Truth first thing in the morning that's fun and it's i don't believe it Fully i think that there are lots of ways of which you can come to self-awareness and consciousness but pain is certainly one of them and it's certainly an effective one so i describe my time in college as Getting kind of like body slammed by the universe just like smackdown of trauma I experienced several instances

[00:21:37] Anna: Of sexual trauma in college that Left me absolutely reeling of course That didn't help the anxiety which now is like fully spun out into fear and paranoia It didn't you know it really brought on depression and just sadness and i You know i was working several jobs all throughout college to pay my way and had to kind of scale back On everything because my mental health was in such a tough place and that was a Huge wake-up call for me That really has to come first During that time i love that you've already been talking about your runs Going on runs in the morning there was a Time when i really it was like you struggle to get out of bed every day you know it's like that's a that's a feat and i told myself okay there has to be there Has to be one thing that you do every single day that's just one thing and that thing was running and it's funny now because i don't even really i only run now and then

[00:22:48] Anna: I just what i would do is every morning 7 15 feet hit the floor put your clothes on Just get outside to start going just doesn't have to be fast like there I didn't put a time limit on myself it was just like go for a run once a day and i found this Hill in this neighborhood this huge hill That i could run down so that i would have to run up it i didn't have an option and I would listen to this is also a Beautiful synchronicity I would listen to roar by Katy Perry On repeat i wouldn't dislike That was my anthem it was to me it was So much about having your voice heard and in my experiences i felt like My voice was taken away and that i didn't get that chance to speak up for myself and that's what that song meant to me and that's what running up this huge ass hill every morning meant to me And this beautiful synchronicity that i have to share is that i found out years later That chase produced the production Of roar that was underneath the brooklyn

[00:24:03] Anna: Bridge that was like this epic thing and then way af Way after that because i didn't even know chase then years later I wrote down in a journal one night man i'd really like to see Katy Perry i would love to see Katy Perry in concert she inspired me so much This song got me through this tough time and the next day chase calls me up and said hey Oh yes way he says hey They're doing this show after her tour Her tour had ended it was two weeks after doing this random pop-up show at the ace Hotel in los angeles and he said do you want to come with me it's vip tickets i said i guess yeah I think that sounds great so Wild how those little Pieces get kind of woven through our lives but at that time literally that song that Hill was my saving grace and if i could Do that in a day i said okay that's a sign i'm still alive We're still breathing like i can take one more step forward i Can do this for one more day and then it

[00:25:19] Anna: Became you know i fought kind of legal battles Around this to try and seek some justice and that was a really necessary albeit highly re-traumatizing Step in the process to try to Face those fears and not run from Them so i felt like i really needed to do this and it was a long process it was a highly painful process it was an expensive process and at the end of it you know It's very rare that those kinds of Cases end up going the way that you'd Like them to and even if they do you know what Do you have then right it's really it's really tough And so when i finished that it was right Around when i was graduating and i decided you know what i've done What i can to do this i faced up to these fears I have you know i've leaned into at this Time i was doing a lot of yoga i was doing a lot of zumba Just things to help me get back into my body because that's Another you know side effect of course is like this disassociation from your body

[00:26:37] Anna: And i just said i have to leave this Battle here who really wins If you know these people are on living their lives and i'm here with you know depressed and Anxious and all of this so it was like okay the best thing that I can do is live a **** awesome life that Best thing that i can do oh yeah that's so powerful i mean because like what is winning in that situation you know such a i can't even imagine like that's the question what is winning and if this if this thing Goes this way or if x person's life is now ruined is that Is that winning like is it is it winning If you know you it's a it's a really Good question justice is a strange thing and uh yeah I'm sure you know that very well that's so crazy um it's super cool that you uh went through the yoga journey too we'll definitely get into that because i'm uh i began my disassociation journey

[00:27:39] Anna: When i was young and i didn't learn about it until like three years ago uh when i started two years ago or whatever when i started doing my own yoga and learn anything about anything um wow that's so Crazy okay uh continue carry on so after the court stuff has fizzled out you've still been doing some yoga are you still in school after this or was this after that was right when i it kind of coincided with my graduation and i felt like okay let's leave i was Going to school in north carolina i said let's leave this here and you know what i had felt really Passionate about what was always my path was education Psychology how do people learn i have Learned a lot about positive psychology and a thesis that i had written was on Optimism and how people who are optimistic actually go bigger are healthier Make more money are better leaders all This incredible research on Positive psychology and you know i was All throughout college i was volunteering in schools and you know because of my christian background and my parents are very much um

[00:28:53] Anna: You know they're very service oriented they have a non-profit i was always attuned to service and i felt like yes this is service is a beautiful lens Through which to live right how can i Waking up every day saying how can i serve right what can i give and so i took that And decided to become a teacher i became a school teacher i went to I saw this program it was a master's Program in houston and i thought all right let's try it on and see how This goes and that i think the distance And just being in a new place is really Helpful for people that have been through something traumatic because especially when it's really associated with a particular place it's like constant reminders so i was Like i gotta give myself a fighting chance to really powerfully Move forward and while this was a really This was a huge step it was still Really tough i was teaching At a charter school in northeast houston I was 22. i was in grad school full-time As well i was living on my own for the

[00:30:06] Anna: First time you know outside of college and it was it was Just really tough you know the Resources that you have available in schools the pay and fighting for you know Some kind of livable fair way For doing this work and it's so Funny because when i reflect on that time it was never the kids the kids are never the problem the kids are far and away A their kids so they're just learning and figuring out so much and they're doing the absolute Best that they can right i had What i really grappled with on a daily basis was the overarching system and the structure and saying is This something that you know no matter how well my cog is Working what is this machine doing right what What are we teaching them overall like what are the subjects even are these the most important subjects what else could we be teaching them at this like pivotal age you know Oh my gosh and then just getting that like this is it's so like the long-term Investment thing to me is the The issue with education is that this is

[00:31:26] Anna: The this is our future right so it makes so much sense to Really invest in it and it seems like the first thing that At least in america that we kind of skimp on is The education of our youth so It was it was really tough and i felt Like i started to just get to a point where i was so stressed you know at this point my chronic pain is flaring there's a lot of also Kind of toxic habits that you pick up in An environment where so many people who have really good hearts right teachers or they are there because they want to serve are just trying to cope and so there's complaining There's drinking there's just trying to vent to Just try to relieve some of the weight and

[00:32:18] Jacob: The pressure that you feel of growing the youth and so I'm like the hardest job ever yeah i'm totally with you like i when i see teachers like regardless if you're teaching like i don't even know any age really i just i have friends who are school counselors now and stuff and i'm just like i don't like i when i

[00:32:37] Anna: Was these those kids as ages i would have never listened to you unfortunately like and so i just like working with such a strange situation really just a teachers are the best example of like working with what they have i guess like doing the best that they can with what they have you know we have such a weird structure that i really wish that we were teaching a lot of different things i hopefully i'm optimistic that we'll lean towards that way in the coming years but yeah and that's well that's a beautiful kind of next step because there was a teacher at my school who got to teach yoga to kids during the day And i thought that was the coolest thing so i started to connect with her And of course the kids love it's getting them into their bodies it's teaching them how to handle the emotions that are Going bonkers at that age and like

[00:33:30] Anna: Realistically all ages that you know it's teaching them emotional regulation they're reading books like the four agreements and i'm like god if i had read that in high school i like to i'd like to think that i would have taken to it but maybe not

[00:33:46] Anna: Right yeah it's hard to say and she Really inspired me at this time truly my saving grace was yoga And i was going to this yoga studio that a fellow teacher of mine recommended that had wonderful programming Was these 40 day challenges where really The goal was to get super consistent in your practice And then we have these weekly meetings where you come together and really just dive into personal development and self-inquiry it's where i first Started to learn about meditation and god was i a bad meditator at this Time i cuz my mind it just goes quick And there's nothing wrong with that right i think when we start to think like oh that's bad or wrong i'm kind of joking about the bad meditation yeah i know yeah but i couldn't sit still for five Minutes without just throwing my hands in the air however and i and i really didn't get it at first so if you're listening to this and you're like i so don't get meditation i hear you i was literally there I was like how does sitting still help

[00:34:57] Anna: Me how you know right i have friends who i'm just gonna like stop this part and send it like hey start right here just listen to this because i have so many because i because meditation is new for me over the last few years and i'm always you know i'm in my preachy stage of it really i'm always trying to get everybody to try it i'm like you gotta try and uh it's such a strange concept Um and it sucks but like you just Don't truly understand at the beginning and that's kind of discouraging to hear but i think that like once you if you can keep building the habit or you can keep trying keep trying to learn knowledge about it there is aha moments there is things that click and you're like oh i did just do the meditation like just because i'm not uh enlightened all of a sudden doesn't Mean that i didn't just do the meditation you know totally you don't have to be a You know you don't have to be floating you don't have to have some crazy transcendental experience it's really plenty to breathe

[00:35:56] Anna: Such that your nervous system shifts Into the parasympathetic because we are so often living we're Just living in fight or flight and it's because of these things there's so much of it alerts Alarms all of that it's making us feel Like think about if every second of the day You felt like a tiger was chasing you this Is the proverbial tiger right is chasing you every second That's exhausting it's no wonder that People develop chronic illnesses that people have adrenal fatigue all you know autoimmune disorder all of These you know different implications from Just high levels of stress That has little to no reprieve is Horrifying to me oh my gosh So what clicked for me anna with um i mean there's i had a lot of Crazy moments with meditation it's been such a beautiful thing for my life but um what you were just saying about you know looking out for a lion or a tiger um is i had read this book i think it's Emily fletcher with ziva meditation or Z technique um but she had talked it was

[00:37:14] Jacob: Something that really stuck out to me is like do you really think that your body which

[00:37:18] Anna: Is made to like survive and thrive and we're like these wonderful living biological creatures who are like the top of the food chain we've like grown out of the food chain at this point but uh basically she was saying when you see a lion or you're like oh what is that brown spot over there is that a lion am i about to die do i need to run your fingernails are like let's not choose right now to grow let's send that blood to other places of the body let's think other thoughts like so when you're We're basically like biologically built to survive and then now we have this life over the last i mean not even 100 years that's just changed so much

[00:37:56] Anna: Um and now we're dealing with things of like you know i get a notification on my phone that does the exact equivalent of me seeing a lion under the corner of my eye so our bodies are in these states of like your fingernails are not growing your immune system has just shut down um i'm sure it's correlated to inflammation all of these things i think that when i had heard that i was like oh gosh that does kind of make sense and then i would really start to think of man i do kind of get triggered by my phone i do get triggered quickly by things and when you're triggered or it's um you're you know we've all felt anxiety we've all felt like that sudden sweat that sudden like uncomfortable you read something you don't like you just hear some bad news whatever it is that part that like wakes up in your body is nothing to be ashamed of but it is what we're dealing with right it's the biological truth of what we are yeah so yeah So continue going on meditation i really

[00:38:49] Anna: Any other advice you have for beginner meditators i'm always like hey guys listen to this part oh my gosh there's so many things that i could say One thing that i really want to harp on about the stress Response is that your digestion stops Right you're trying to run away from something digesting food doesn't mean **** let's not poop right now let's not do it yeah we're not doing that right now right and so it's To me that was a huge source of my Stomach pain and that when i really learned how to regulate my breath throughout the day Take deeper breaths throughout the day That absolutely completely Eliminated my chronic pain really breath Meditation and cannabis for pain Management was got rid of it entirely from Going from people saying you will be in pain for the rest of your life

[00:39:52] Anna: Without a doubt i think a lot of people have heard that a lot from their doctors because they don't know they're at the edge of what their abilities are in the you know nothing against doctors at all but where i think there's so many doctors who are in a place of like it's anxiety i just don't really know like you gotta figure that out however you figure that out they're like i don't know anxiety i'm sorry totally and it and it's okay that it's not in their wheelhouse right so we find other ways to cope and to me you look at anyone who is a you know High performer super successful they Will all tell you number one thing meditate Truly it is the Simplest just lowest hanging fruit To begin to cultivate a healthy Mental state that will also because this Is something i love to discuss is that will also affect Your body and your spirit it never Will just target one part of it of course it's an incredible thing to have a healthy mind to have a resilient mind to know when and be able to metacognate

[00:41:05] Anna: Right to see oh i'm thinking about this thing What is that why am i thinking this way About this thing is this just a very familiar pattern is this just the path i've gone down again and again so it feels Safe it feels comfortable is there Another path one of my favorite questions and this applies for new meditators is am i willing To see this differently am i willing to See this scenario in another way am i willing to see meditation in another way a lot of people i think They just think that it's just sitting there and there's one element sure that is There's also a lot of ways to meditate i love for my People who just like they're just moving all the time they gotta be moving walking meditation a lovely Practice that cultivates mindfulness and While i do think the sit i think this Sid is crucial walking meditation is a beautiful way where you can just start to notice how does it feel when my feet hit the Floor what is it like to move through space without needing to land at a Destination just that simple process is enough

[00:42:25] Jacob: To take us from fight or flight to rest And digest to parasympathetic nervous system and that's enough just to give our vagus nerve right responsible stress response just Right it gives it that relaxation Because otherwise it's just clenched and Tight all the time imagine i don't remember Where i read this but imagine trying to like grow your biceps Just by flexing your bicep constantly Like that's insanity that's not how it works that rest as Well i mean a lot of times when we're working out i used to be a big gym guy when we're working out you're kind of like tearing it you're tearing the muscle and then it heals when you let it heal when you stop moving it but if you never put that thing down like that muscle is not going to do what it's good what it's meant to do grow man that's it that's so great that

[00:43:22] Anna: You mentioned i'm loving everything that you mentioned there when it comes to meditation um with walking meditation for me a walking meditation didn't click too much for me i had to do quite a bit of sitting and i used a lot of what did get Me to click a lot of my meditation was sam harris's waking up app i don't know if you checked that one out but that was when i did the walking meditation on there and i realized It's actually a profound moment i think for a lot of people to realize like wait I'm never walking like this like whenever you're walking anywhere it's to a destination and life is not about getting from here there it's the walk in between like that's the moments of your life right alan watts says life is um or a dance is Not getting from one end of the room to the other the fastest it's the dance in between you know um and so for me It was so it started clicking

[00:44:18] Anna: You know when you just so i was doing guided meditations which listener guided meditations are awesome they're so great like don't think like i can't do without a meditation without an app whatever like do it for years with an app if that's what you need you know get the knowledge in your brain and get some experience and don't you know there's no rush here um but uh So when you're when you're walking i I it was like you the meditator or the The guided meditator would say you know Feel every part of your feet right like feel The moment that you are about to lift it up and the moment your heel lifts up and it's all these slow-motion kind of moments and you'll feel this urge to like why am I doing this like i wanna what am i doing i need to do something i need to go i need it like you need to assign yourself a task but then you it's this hilarious moment almost when you're like oh yeah this is the thing and then when you add

[00:45:14] Anna: Up the it's a little difficult at the beginning i think with meditation to see how it quantifies but that's where things like and i'm sure you can attest to this um things like hope and faith you know i I used to um i've talked about this before like i haven't been uh spirituality is a new thing for me like probably two or three years ago but when i was younger i just wouldn't really like listen to anything like religious or like the words hope and faith are in our Culture tied in with a lot of christian religion I feel and so for me as like i'm just the cool rebel guy like i don't mess with that religion stuff it ain't for me so when i even hear the words faith and hope or whatever i throw the baby out the it bathwater yeah so like reintroducing these

[00:46:01] Anna: Things and allowing like uh allowing myself to take a second look at like wait what does hope mean does it mean what i actually think it means like or why don't i look up the definition and really take it apart from the things that i apparently don't like and see what it means to me so with i just want to say any listener Have hope and have faith like if you're going to start this journey you don't have to worry about the whole journey just think right now just if there's a voice in your head that's like this is ridiculous just try a little bit of faith try like you know this is gonna help you it's hard to know how it's gonna help you at this moment but have a little faith yeah oh absolutely And i love you know hope i did also some research On hope when i was in college and

[00:46:45] Anna: The base definition of hope is Seeing a more positive outcome and Multiple pathways to that positive outcome right so it's just acknowledging this could be better something could be better than how i perceive it to be right now and that there's not just one way of getting there and that's i will always that's a tenet Of how i coach of everything that i do which is it's a multi-pronged approach For me i needed god knows i mean for a Long time it was therapy and so much therapy i've pretty much been in therapy since i was 15 14 and almost straight through Probably for like 10 years and then for A long time it was yoga meditation breath work Essential oils plant medicine journaling Mentors coach it like you name it It's there right and that it's really the coming together of all of these different aspects so and you get to choose that for yourself now what i will say about meditation I believe that meditation that the quiet

[00:47:56] Anna: Time especially because of our world today how it is just the reality of the world that we live in we so rarely get entirely quiet Time without the information or opinion Of anyone else that if you want to Learn your authentic self if you want to be more of yourself then and if you want to connect really to the part of you that is connected to everything you got to spend some quiet Time alone like although as alone as you can Be and it doesn't have to be an hour I always like to tell people you know i Meditate an hour a day because this is my full this is my whole deal this is what i do i show up for a lot of People on a daily basis in programs and one-on-one so that my number one job is to be as Clear of a vessel for spirit to flow Through as possible and to me that means A lot of times pretty much every day i meditate an hour however if you have five minutes that is Worth something it's for you Never comparing is one of the

[00:49:10] Anna: Silliest things that we do it really makes no sense when you think about it why would i ever compare myself to someone who hasn't had the lived experience or the dna or the childhood Or the you know all of that stuff to Get you to where you are on your journey right now we all have our paths it's a beautiful thing own where your journey begins some people they get to this at 70. Some people they get to this at seven And it's really it's just a beautiful thing to know that there are countless ways to that better Place for you for you yourself And the last thing i'll say that's like this totally changed my perspective of Meditation which is you only do a certain number of things every day right most of us we probably Eat maybe we shower we sleep every day

[00:50:09] Anna: You know we go to the bathroom these kinds of things and Meditation is like Doing any of those things it's like showering for your brain it's just that daily Process that we require to keep our Brains healthy our mind our mental state Healthy and so it's not like oh if i Accumulate enough meditation points i'll get to stop meditating i only ever only ever meditated More as i have become more peaceful More myself all of these things so even Though i'm blessed enough that there's not a whole lot of stress in my life because i've made a lot of choices to design my life that way where i get to meditate an hour a day and i get To do all the yoga that i need and i get to go on walks and hikes and these things that i love and that really feed my soul That i only meditate more More and more yeah i love that i Uh it's funny it's funny seeing with my Journey on meditation seeing how i go

[00:51:22] Anna: I mean i always so i made the habit quickly i was lucky enough to make the habit because i was just so obsessed with it immediately i was like this is the craziest thing like because i was a i mean i would say like i was a sufferer of my own mind i didn't realize that i wasn't my thoughts right like i like i also had like a creative fast adhd mind and i like thought that i thought that it was just being in a stranglehold the rest of my life and trying to like don't say that say that don't say that what you know like just confused by my own brain but um yeah meditation is just so i do At least 10 minutes a day um but it's It's cool because it's just this

[00:52:01] Anna: Like thing just like you were saying was showering and brushing your teeth it's not like i have like a giant ritual Where i put on my like orange monk robe and all these Things you know i think when we hear meditation or any of those mindfulness even we kind of accidentally Um or just because we that's what we have learned the little we have learned we think of this thing that has nothing to do with us we're like this what that has nothing to do that's not what i'm into but it's you have a mind you know you have you have doesn't it's just a Beautiful thing um i want to just right before you Continue going with your story um can you give me your definition of mindfulness oh goodness this is this is always the Question and i love it because there are I mean there are as many definitions of Mindfulness out there as there are people that have ever meditated to me I try to keep it as simple as possible That mindfulness is present moment awareness Through a gentle lens through a compassionate lens It's being here now

[00:53:14] Anna: And loving the moment That's it simple as that so when people Say am i meditating am i doing this right It's as simple as that can you can You remain here when the mind wanders as it does as It loves to do as it's designed to do Can you consciously draw it back Here draw it into the breath And love the breath love This moment wherever you are and obviously in some moments much easier said than Done to love the moment and that's why Things like yoga are so helpful with Mindfulness because you're in this uncomfortable pose right you're in this you're in this one posture That might be really difficult for you look over and someone else ah they're doing it so easy and how do they get there and i Want to be there instead of just breathing with it Instead of just softening into that Moment and accepting and loving this is where i Am at this is my body right now And i love it that's amazing i really Like your definition of mindfulness i think that's so perfect i the The differences in um just

[00:54:42] Anna: Just from doing any amount of yoga i feel like the difference is we notice like oh geez i didn't even know that i was breathing from my chest in my mouth every day of all the time like you just even when you when they say focus on your breath in papasana or yoga it's really It's almost like your mind always needs a little something and you're like hey just listen to the breath then i know you want to be thinking but let's just try to focus on the breath and a lot of times um and you can correct me with your definitions if i'm um not saying the same thing that you think but uh for me i try to notice the you know the Present moment is for me it's a lot about my five senses like you mentioned dissociation before um and i had like i said i had so much association that i didn't even like really know what it was i had began at a very young age um i had some even before

[00:55:33] Anna: When i was nine i had some trauma that i experienced and i think that's uh when i learned to dissociate and so when i learned that i was dissociating a lot of times it's like Uh when you focus on your breath you know like where do you feel your breath is it at the tips of your nose is it in your belly um you could feel All these small micro areas and there's almost this Just multiple times of just like this silliness that you kind of notice when you're in breathing in meditation or yoga where you're just like oh my gosh like this is this is the thing right like this is what i'm supposed to be i don't have to think of those thoughts whatever my mind was trying to tell me to think about right now it is so okay and rather important To just feel what is my body doing what does it feel like when i breathe and yoga um oh man because with yoga If you've never done yoga listener it's you move with your breath You and time is different in yoga i

[00:56:34] Anna: Feel like it's just mind-blowing um i Did um i did yoga with adrian on youtube if you've ever i'm sure you've heard of her anna um yeah i just did she's one of my favorites that's what got me into yoga actually or like actually doing it consistently rather but i did one of hers this morning so yeah listener yoga we're going to keep talking about it but just go on youtube to start like just do anything just get going or even just lay on the ground for five minutes and just start stretching around or you mentioned cannabis totally got me like if you smoke a decent amount of weed you realize that stretching after you smoke weed it feels so great just add a little breath work on time and you're going to have a wonderful you're going to be like wow it's been an hour and my body feels just crazy alive right now i just stretched yeah it's the best and that was that was Another one of my kind of saving graces when i was a

[00:57:28] Anna: School teacher i thought okay when i wasn't going to the studio because a lot of times i was going to the studio and this just happened to be power vinyasa super heated Yoga and in houston like double heated Yoga so it was definitely not the best to be High at however you it was totally like high on Your own supply kind of yoga and super sweaty and i needed at that time something really intense to capture My attention and keep me present that's Really good for that now i prefer a much different style of Yoga much more breath centric build your own Heat kind of practice and really you know Attuning and listening to your body for what it is that you need that day maybe sometimes you do want to just end up you know flat in a puddle of your own Sweat and that's awesome and that's what you need that day and then other times maybe you need some restorative yoga and Your body just needs that restoration so

[00:58:37] Anna: Listening to that and i would i would come home from school i remember this so vividly and i thought like i would just flop on my bed and be like what i can't do anything what could i even do right now the temptation is just to go you know Smokeable and watch netflix and instead It was just okay roll out the map get some music Playing except just have a you know take a hit And it just moves through you You just start moving and then like you Said before you know it's been an hour you're just flowing and even if you don't feel comfortable enough to Take yourself through a flow there are So many free Amazing resources out there are so Many resources and there's huge value In having a teacher absolutely especially if you have you know certain areas that you really want to work on or if you have old injuries like please practice safely And trust your body trust that When you hear yourself saying oh that's a little too far listen to that and have that be part Of the learning too because really yoga the simplest

[00:59:59] Anna: Definition of yoga is to yoke to bring together the body The mind and the spirit and i think a lot of the pain a lot of The struggle that we experience is that splintering or the dissection The body is way back here the mind is Way there in the future and our spirit is Like what are we doing guys yeah where are you i need you here And yoga is so beautiful for bringing that together and then it's just a lovely it's a lovely space to embody uh those intentions that we hold It's a great place to practice self-compassion right an understanding for yourself it's A great way to get stronger it's you know it's a great Way to work on your breath there's so kind of so many endless Benefits that i can't recommend it enough yes and if like i said if Having a j with you is the thing that gets you into yoga awesome Uh sorry it's this wonderful i always Again you know like i said before i had um my preconceived ideas that weren't

[01:01:18] Anna: Super filled with information about like religion or christianity or like these important wonderful words as a human that you can learn um i used to have my saying like i had smoked weed before just i was a skateboarder in high school i would smoke weed um just casually but i was just over it and then after a while i'd be like yeah i'm not a stoner they're just losers blah and you like you just kind of pick up this idea about what it really is then you forget of like all like the Long shamanic traditions of plant medicines and like the truth of what it really is You know and what it can really be at for individuals and i think that when you can kind of kind of detach your Opinions on these sort of things or detach your opinion on weed for example um take it away from and this is just

[01:02:05] Anna: Uh for me personally to take it away from the social party aspect of it like it's like don't see it as that like me i started smoking by myself and i was like oh i actually am able to slow down and pay attention to these youtube videos a little more i'm actually able to slow down and like not get mad at myself that i just spent an hour stretching on the ground because there's also this like need to like oh what am i doing or we also Unfortunately i think we still see yoga And these sorts of things as well it's my workout today it's my how many calories did i burn what did i like all these crazy things when just like focusing on the breath

[01:02:43] Anna: Where you and you notice your mind and you get frustrated and you're complaining and then you're like oh there i am complaining again that's what my mind's doing okay back to the breath yoga when you find your edges you don't get mad at yourself or judge yourself like oh i'm so not flexible oh that knee hurts and i'm never gonna have a good knee or whatever it is you say oh that's where my body is Okay cool send some breath there let's Keep going you know sound some breath send some love and It's i love what you said you know just Speaking on plant medicine a little bit more you know there was a time when i was taking god it must have been You know on certain times like around my Cycle for example to manage extreme pain i was taking four Ibuprofen four times a day for like a Week right that was prescribed to me and What that was doing was ripping apart The lining of my gut and So to use cannabis as pain management For that time was so helpful and i stopped i mean i

[01:03:53] Jacob: Haven't taken ibuprofen in probably five or six years that's Crazy i cause i used to take a ton of ibuprofen just because i would i would just i would drink three times a week just uh it Wasn't like an alcoholic didn't like ever get really like once in a while i'd get hammered it was just a casual thing but i had this thing that was connected To it where in the morning i just had four ibuprofen right next to my bed it's like well i drank last night and so what i do when i drink is i take the ibuprofen and you don't think about these things i love that you said gut lining too because i um i haven't been to the doctor for it but i've kind of deemed that i had that issue with a couple of um fitness friends and I'm working on healing that i'm taking collagen and these sort of things and all my greens and i don't take any of the ibuprofen anymore i haven't i haven't for a while i don't yeah that i mean i think

[01:04:40] Jacob: So many people can benefit from that um totally okay so tell me a little bit more i know or sidetrack in a little bit tell me a little bit more about plant medicine so i uh i it's definitely something on this Podcast that i like to explore i know that um some of it gets a little weird we're like not sure how much we could say um but i think that we live in a world where that's you know very soon to be changed and i think that we're going to be almost looking back in future i Think we're going to look back at all the time that we treated as treated plant medicines as a Party drug or uh like you see trippy stuff or whatever like the weird stuff about it like there's just so much powerful i mean we're gonna Heal so many people with depression if you've heard of any of the map stuff or um yes yeah so okay give me give me a

[01:05:27] Jacob: Little bit definitely on the same vibe um give me some of your experience with plant medicine and if you don't mind what was your did you have opinions on it before you had tried it like did you have bad annotations sorted or oh my gosh okay so first of all i You know when i was growing up and i think this expression is hilarious so i have to use it we was like the devil's lettuce like we Was like of the devil it was not like a healing Herb to be you know to be used responsibly for Medicinal purposes right it wasn't this you know that has So many incredible topical benefits Cbd you know there's so much there so i Definitely had a huge stigma i never you know i Didn't try anything until like probably mid College any other any kind of drugs Other than alcohol um was very super judgy And i will own that i will own that i was judging as ****

[01:06:33] Anna: And that's part of it you know what i mean it's opening it's being willing to see something differently and so you know there was a huge part of me when i first moved to la so little Little backtrack that after houston i just decided i couldn't you know i couldn't keep living that was not my dharma that was not the my highest contribution I took this yoga teacher training with Uh the woman that was trained by these beautiful you know these beautiful husband and wife who ran this program and did work with teachers and school counselors and that totally opened up my world and the day after my yoga teacher training i moved out to and that's when a lot of things shifted and when i first moved there i started teaching a lot of cannabis yoga i taught at a cannabis yoga studio i you Know i taught private sessions with small groups and it was so beautiful to learn how to infuse intention And meaning and love into every aspect Of that process teach people about dosages to teach people about ratios and it really just like this

[01:07:42] Jacob: Educational process and have it be infused with intention and it's so funny now because i Now will smoke weed and just a very little bit and we'll have like a psychedelic experience seriously it is really connects you to the divine huh super it is like directs connection so is that the only Way of course not is that a way that everyone needs to take no and is it something that we dare not Overlook should we ever get ourselves off of So many prescription drugs yes we cannot Overlook it and you know mushrooms are a Whole other thing this was you know i was probably Like i don't know early Mid yeah 22 something like that When i first had an experience and it Was with a trusted person this was you know it was at um I remember one experience that i had that was like in a very private beautiful natural setting and Was just i found That my purest essence this is the Only way i can put it my purest essence was just like Emanating like the sun From me it was i was so

[01:09:08] Jacob: Filled with wonder at a piece of fruit Something so simple like that right or Just breathing outside right having that Experience being so awe struck with the Miracle of existence is how i would put It and you know the other things that People describe like you know visuals and all those things to me that's just part of lifting the Veil of illusion that is we see You know this water bottle it's it's A material this is a matter right i'm Holding it in my hand except not really right like This doesn't exist to you're seeing it through this screen this is just this you know mass of Vibrating subatomic particles That are mostly space that change when i Observe it right and then you get into this whole like quantum physics thing which we can which we can definitely go there too but yeah i stumbled into a lot of those two i love those right but while we're still on psychedelics um you know i had some i had those early Experiences with a person that you know i really trusted

[01:10:28] Jacob: And in some safe environments i also had some like you know not necessarily i was Never like really into partying but you know i had Some experiences at like a music festival or two that were just beautiful that i found Myself intrinsically connected to everyone and everything crying tears of joy feeling Feeling so utterly divine And so clearly seeing the divinity in everyone and everything around me and that's the experience that i that i Wish that everyone could have i don't think everyone needs to have it in that way and i think it's a really Special thing so it's something that i've You know i have worked on On guiding folks through this experience And holding that space so that They have the opportunity to do it in a Safe way in a comfortable way have Everyone that i work with meditate for a month beforehand not Consume any tobacco or any alcohol or any other drugs for That matter and to get really in a clear Headspace you know i'm sure you've read michael pollan's book how to change your mind a lot about the psychedelic history

[01:11:56] Jacob: And journey that it's all about your mindset set and setting are kind of tenants That as long as your setting is set up As long as you're in the best mindset possible that it's really pretty much guaranteed to be A beautiful explorative journey and it's one that i Think is crucial and really helpful For as i said seeing the divinity In everyone and everything yeah that's so powerful i mean i like just thinking of the future you Know if things really keep going the way they're quick they seem to be quickly going with these plant medicines you know they're doing great um things with mdma and people with um uh post-traumatic stress disorder and You know and this is just something it's for everybody if you're a human with a brain like it's not just for certain types of people um can you just this might be difficult

[01:12:50] Anna: To describe but i'm just trying to think of people who have never who are still in the mode of like why i never really even thought about psychedelics i heard that it's this thing over here and then i just like never really thought about it again and maybe they're feeling more open-minded now how could how could seeing the divinity Or seeing your like the true oneness of this uh how would that make you feel better Like how does that help with depression and anxiety like how you know i love that to me there's a couple of Ways one way is that it lets you it lets you Get out of your own very limited Viewpoint so quite Physiologically it opens up new neural Pathways and that's one of the most helpful things for getting off the rut that the train track Of depression and anxiety right it's like such a familiar pathway And that our brain has a natural pruning Process and that when we don't use certain branches or pathways they get pruned right they get cut off So this is this is a way to open

[01:13:58] Anna: Up some of those new neural pathways And as we talked about with hope earlier If you can see that there's a better way and that there's a couple of different ways to get to that better place then That will that will pull you forward i Truly believe that can shift the entire trajectory of Someone's life yes oh man that's Like a great example i when you're talking about the neural pathways too um i've used this example before and i think that i've just heard it so i've repeated it but um thinking of just as simple as sledding down a hill like a blank it's snowed overnight and

[01:14:36] Anna: The hill that you sled down you keep just going down the same way and that's kind of like been your life that's you're digging this big old rut and after a while you just like you're to the point where the walls are really high you got snow on either side you just keep giving and you're thinking the same thoughts and you're having the same habits and you're like i don't understand what anybody's talking about like why like you just kind of fall like any time you get a little bit out you just kind of fall back into that it seems like so i think uh psychedelics are a lot of these practices that we've discussed i think have they allow you to just a few seconds of You know if it's not noticing that you're even Playing in the snow and like what is snow like this really wide thing at least helps you like peek over the edge of that wall that you've created from sledding there for so many years um thinking these um you know

[01:15:22] Anna: Non thinking the same thoughts that are not helpful you know um i had at the beginning of my Of my journey i definitely had um I mean i was i had like this spark Like i need to i need to fight this Nihilism like i need to give it like one more like because i was very suicidal i was like i'm gonna like i had pretty much unconsciously decided like that's what's gonna happen i just have to kind of figure out how it's gonna go down whatever and i had this these moments of like dang it man what

[01:15:58] Anna: Is going on like i'm just i was sitting here in this room looking at the wall that's all the writing on the wall is just like what like why am i doing this what is happening and i think that you know i talk about that but i think i was like lucky to have that like whatever happened in my life whatever like divine will of something like at least gave me a little bit of strength to even though i it felt fake and it felt fickle and it felt um i felt like i was lying to myself but

[01:16:24] Anna: I was like man something isn't going right here like this isn't i should want to live you know i should want to and so what was happening with me is i was stuck in that divot and i had no idea but i had i was trying these different things i started with cannabis i start you know yoga meditation writing everything journaling like you mentioned and it was you know it was a little bit even though it felt fake even though it felt fickle i was like yeah i feel kind of mostly sad but i'm gonna give this thing a try Um it gave me a little bit of edge to sneak up and look over that neural pathway you know that sled line that i had made for so many years so i think and that's again where hope and faith come in just even if it's just a couple days it feels fake explore this stuff um or If you if for in not feeling fake you Could take psychedelics and just rips you right out of that sled thing so You totally it's like what sled there

[01:17:14] Jacob: Was never any snow you thought you were a snow you knucklehead you are snow but yeah you are the snow everything else is right it's all together And thank you for sharing that it's so powerful because i feel that you know i was i was Actually writing on this yesterday i was i was feeling a little scramble brain And i said oh shoot i haven't meditated today meditate and then not you know maybe probably 30 minutes later just pouring spiritual downloads which for me Those occur like just if i'm writing It's like something is moving the pen and i don't know what it is it's just going right and it's You know it's really this idea that So much of what we perceive In our lives it's just coming from this Really limited perspective and if we're willing to have Enough faith or trust if that word is more Helpful to you to say you know what I'm willing to admit that i don't know Everything if we're just willing enough to admit that and say and Have enough faith or trust to say i don't understand Everything and i don't know exactly how

[01:18:38] Jacob: This is gonna go then that to me that's enough wiggle room right there to really break through to really break Some ground on like whatever next path that it is you take and i love You know you're sharing about the same thoughts again and again we think somewhere between you know Experts say somewhere between 50 to 70 000 thoughts a day and that 90 Of those thoughts are the same thoughts The same thoughts the same thing over and over again i'm hungry **** this oh why can't i'm i feel tired Um what about this work right Gotta get it done like Just on repeat the tapes and so To me it's no wonder that we feel Like this broken record on the track skipping and Skipping it's just because we repeated a bunch of things a bunch of times and we as humans are blessed and cursed With as i said before metacognition to Think about how we think so can we try on Like it was a jacket a new idea and say

[01:19:53] Jacob: Okay i'm gonna feel this out maybe it's not totally my style maybe it's not like every jacket that i've had before but maybe it's just different enough to Where let's just see let's see how it goes and That is to me one of the most pivotal mental Shifts that i made conscious thought shifts On my journey was going from a space of Pretty much everything is out to get me The world is against me things don't work out for me that kind of thing to everything even the tough stuff even the Challenging stuff is ultimately working out for my highest Good everything is working out for me and to shift to that reframes Every moment of every day it says When you're late because you ran into Seven stoplights it has you think automatically wow what If that just saved me from getting into this horrible wreck with that person who sped through the intersection or what if I just needed this extra moment in the car to finish the song that i'm jamming to or something that you know things says from the highly meaningful and life-altering to the

[01:21:13] Jacob: Very small and still potentially life-altering yeah that's so powerful synchronicities That's where you can see him i mean i think just shifting into I like to talk about a simple example that i had heard before basically say you're an adult um you Have a young daughter and she's about to turn 16 and you're like okay well i'm going to look for her a new car she's going to get her driver's license and you're like she wants a red honda civic that's all she wants that's the car we're going to get her all of a sudden you're going to see a red honda you're going to start seeing red honda civics like maybe for sale whereas before if you had never had the thought or knew that your daughter wanted red hot a civic you may have passed them every day multiple times you know um and i think that when you can when You can flip your perspective to i'm gonna i'm gonna find it

[01:22:01] Jacob: I'm gonna see it i know that this is working out in my best interest you're gonna start seeing these red honda civics in your life of like of oh that thing happened to me well I'm looking for it i'm drawing my attention towards it so i know that before maybe i would think That this is a terrible thing maybe i would think that this is the worst thing ever and i'm the victim and of course this happens to me again and again or you could say okay this is this is That thing that i know that i was looking for i was ready for it you know this i'm Laughing so hard right now because the example That i always use when i say this is red honda civic i wonder if we Like heard i feel like did somebody else say it or do we just that and this is where i have Literally no idea because i honestly i read so much i listen to podcasts i have a lot of beautiful brilliant friends too i'm like did i hear this in a conversation did i just think this

[01:22:57] Jacob: And but i remember it because i was talking to a friend of mine and i said yeah like you know it would be like if you started seeing red honda civics and Then you just start seeing them everywhere and at the end of the conversation he goes you know what's hilarious about this and i was like what marcus and he goes i have a red hot Civic it's so crazy like it's i don't know i Mean as much as you like i wanna i always wanna latch onto these things and i'm like that must be that thing i love this like optimism of I'm okay with not knowing i like where that's going i'm just gonna trust it and continue following it like this uh i don't know that's just incredible That's so cool like what are the odds you know Well hey guys listeners look for your red honda civic yeah And the cool thing is and i love to Bring this in because my approach is also very like I call it heaven meets earth i think the Spiritual stuff you gotta You gotta have a perspective on spirit

[01:24:04] Jacob: And the interconnectedness of our Lives and the world right and we're humans it would be silly To deny that we are human beings and so really to link this We have a part of our brains it's right At the brain stem that is the reticular activating system and what the reticular activating System does is it filters information just like our Eyeballs right all day we see countless Images we hear countless things and what The particular activating system does is helps us determine what is important because it's just too That much to focus on we can't focus on it all that would be impossible we would explode so what that helps us do is we start Noticing something noticing for me it started with numbers right a Lot of people talk about numbers and synchronicities and now everywhere i go Four fours three threes one eleven i let you know all the just repeating numbers that i see near constantly Every time i drive every you know when i Look at the clock and some people say okay well that's

[01:25:20] Jacob: Great you see repeating numbers you train your reticular activating system to notice repeating numbers well what does that mean and this is where i think a lot of people they and you know no fault in this jump to Google right and say what does it mean when i see this right without first and this is what i would recommend looking inward and saying what do i feel like this is trying to say and to me those repeating numbers tell me a few Things the world is full of patterns some of Those patterns are downward spirals right and the Biggest down and some of those patterns are upward spirals and lift us up Right and then also to me these repeating numbers i choose and feel deeply that they mean For me you're on the right path the timing is working out trust the timing of your life it's Always working out for you and that didn't come From anything that i looked up on the internet that came from me introspecting and really sitting with it and feeling okay i'm seeing this everywhere what is this what does this mean for me yes that's so

[01:26:31] Jacob: Important i really like that you ask yourself that you're like because i've even done that myself you watch youtube videos or whatever and you end up googling you're like oh it means that your angel is watching over you and like you know a lot of that is great and a lot of it lines up with certain people's beliefs and it just like clicks to them that's so great but uh i really believe I always say you give things power um i think i said that earlier even but like that's kind of how it is for me i believe too when i see number synchronicities which i see all the time now to me It's not that google like i don't go like oh it's the you know whatever like three through three means this i literally go uh it's some sort of like everything is going to be okay like whatever's going on going on it's

[01:27:14] Jacob: Gonna be okay and uh it's cool i actually used to write and i do still sometimes depending on what i'm going through i'll write little notes to myself on my hand all right everything is okay or i used to be I used to be actually overly analytical myself i was like i would write like talk slower or things like that you know i kind of flipped it to be like a little more positive but um uh but i it's just like that like You know when you see imagine you're having a bad day just like i think a lot of the reason why people get tattoos and stuff too you know you're having a bad day and like oh i'm all caught up in all this thing and then you see your tattoo that just says love yourself and you're like oh yeah everything's okay love yourself even though this is going on that's true cool it's happening but Love yourself or everything will be okay or just be here whatever it is when you see like the synchronicities the numbers the red honda civics it could be those everything is okay oh

[01:28:08] Anna: Yeah i just remembered i mean imagine how much better you're gonna feel instead of all those 70 how many thoughts a day do we have fifty thousand seventy thousand seventy million whatever somewhere in there fifty to seventy thousand it's a lot so i mean think about like in all the repeating thoughts that are just saying that you're unworthy and you're not you can't do this thing and like yeah i don't really think that thought anymore that's kind of a silly thing whatever i mean what if you inserted at least a few times a day where you see something on your hand or you see a number that matches up and it kind of replaces one of those thoughts it says everything's going to be okay it's just it's almost like a wake up call throughout your day you know And you know with us of course lately spending a lot more time in our homes You know i like to say that your home Is kind of like your vision board surround yourself with the symbols that Are meaningful to you surround yourself you know i have a lot

[01:29:06] Anna: Of times clients put sticky notes or write on their mirror just you know a lot of us first thought when we look in the mirror is like Not good right you lean that way So this is part of the balance is saying What if just first i thought damn girl Or like i love my body i'm thankful for My body right something like that noticing what And appreciating ourselves and from that Space that's what allows us to notice and Appreciate and honestly not judge and criticize other people Because if you're criticizing yourself for something if you're hard on yourself for something odds are you're criticizing you're judging other people whether verbally or not And that is also it's kind of eroding Your compassion right that self-compassion that we have Feeds our compassion for other people our ability to empathize our ability to see other people through loving eyes and trust that they As hard as it might be to believe sometimes are doing the best With what they have at this time yes

[01:30:22] Anna: Yeah they're this is just like you my friend as far as you know right now this is your first time doing this life situation like a you know just like them they're just trying to figure this out too i wish that we could all like just have this one moment this like fairy tale in my head is just like everybody's like oh yeah we just remembered that we all were thinking that each other said we were perfect like nobody is walking around saying that they're perfectly have it all figured out i mean some people are sure but the for the most part everyone's just kind of stumbling through this thing trying to figure it out in the same way as you are and when you could remember that it's like oh yeah what i was thinking about isn't as important or my judgments are i can let those go and i could see this person not through my judgments but through who they really are you know yeah i dream of that i dream of that

[01:31:08] Anna: The moment the collective moment when we just all decide to have a little bit more grace for ourselves i feel just the energy of You know maybe it's maybe i've just been spending a little too much time online or something but this like This wanting to just like jump down each Other's throats like for every little thing and it feels like Have we just lost all sense of Compassion and grace for each other And because the genesis of that is Losing compassion and grace for ourselves knowing that part of the human experience and this is what i believe and this is i believe a healthy way to frame our Existence is that humans are not broken Humans part of humanness Is humanness is **** things up is Choosing things for the short term payoff instead of the long term or you know is part of humanness is Having an ego and battling with that and so i think that when we when we choose to remember that we are Whole we are whole beings and that

[01:32:24] Jacob: Perfection was never like you said part of the equation That was never a guarantee of that life It's silly it's so silly yeah i love

[01:32:35] Jacob: It you just said that i actually had i had a quote that i had taken from i did an instagram dive before this you said you are Not something broken to be fixed You are a garden to be tended to i really like that stood out and you mentioned ego with that as well um i had heard this thing that this reminded me of is the ego doesn't Want to be destroyed it wants to be held and i was Like oh that's helpful because i went through this time once i discovered like how much my ego was running my life and what it was and i was like oh my god dude i have got to be i've got to get rid of my ego i got to destroy it i've gotta like you know i'm trying to stomp out this thing that i didn't understand yet and now it's like oh okay it's just a part of this experience like you can you can hold it and you could like you

[01:33:18] Anna: You can almost like teach your ego how to i mean it'll still it's not always under your control in a sense it's hard to conceptualize your ego as it's like this separate being thing or something but um yeah i just really like how uh how You put You are a garden to be tended to you're Not something broken to be fixed yeah it's okay you would never say like Oh this is the perfect garden right gardens Are different in different climates there's different things that grow more naturally right so you know some Plants need a little bit more water some plants need a little bit more sun there's and if you saw i imagine This if you saw a perfectly manicured trimmed Down to the tea garden it might not be The most beautiful it might not be you know hospitable to The plants and animals that allow it to Truly thrive right i mean all gardens need a Little bit of weeding need a little bit of pruning Like i described that internal brain pruning process that happens naturally that part of the you know Certain plants blooming in Certain times and seasons right

[01:34:35] Anna: Teaches us there's a time for everything i just love i love the garden metaphor because it's really you know there were some seeds planted in all of our gardens that we never we never chose and If that's grown and we've watered that thought or idea or construction or concept That yeah we might have to do a little bit of digging and tilling of the earth really yes Love it and that's what i love to do that's what i love to do with people is reflect to them okay it's okay if you didn't choose this Belief a lot of us didn't choose our beliefs yeah we just believed we saw their gardens around us and said oh this is the way the gardens are around me and so really just taking the time to Actually get to the root which means getting your hand it's a messy process nothing in life is like Perfectly ordered it's such an illusion It's such **** it's harmful and toxic to us that you know digging in the earth uprooting That and seeing okay now from this place what do i choose to plant here

[01:35:45] Anna: What are the thoughts what are the ideas that i choose to nourish and water you know every Single day or check on every single day make sure they're getting the right sunlight right the right light and Energy poured into them oh if there's an Infestation how do i handle that how do I bring balance to the entire ecosystem And you we're seeing this on a very collective level that In many areas basically there you know There have been certain kinds of plants that have been destroyed which means this certain population of animal can't eat which means that this other population of animal because they can't eat they don't have enough to eat or they have too much to eat so they're overpopulated right and it's seeing that it's not separate and that like this is Kind of going on an ecological level now but seeing ourselves as separate from The environment is our biggest downfall ooh tell me more keep going now We are one and the same with it that it is It's just as silly to say something like You know the environment

[01:37:00] Anna: Well that's we're fooling ourselves it's us we are the environment how do we breathe right now without the trees get rid of all the trees how are we going to breathe this is our this is our garden and then it's like the garden of the collective consciousness right garden of the earth includes the plants and the animals yes Right and all of you know i think about bees a lot for example like bees have Stingers because they need to survive and a lot of them i can speak from experience have had a bee one time i just had this bee like crawl around me for like five minutes seriously it was just on me if i just checking things out and without bees like okay well there Goes all our food there goes seventy percent of the world's food in bees this tiny thing that we get

[01:37:51] Anna: Like annoyed by right or we're like afraid of or whatever we need we need to protect ourselves from it put up a blockade and like oh attack it or kill it or whatever i mean i'm guilty of that too i don't want to be hanging out with a bee but i am slowly getting to where i'm not uncomfortable by insects Oh it's a journey you start to see like Who's left with the disgust and the fear When you're like oh this thing once again easier said than done i haven't gotten to the like picking up the cockroach level but i Have really worked on not jumping to I need to destroy this thing which used To be it which is like such a silly

[01:38:32] Anna: Fear not that there aren't animals that could potentially harm us of course that's right possibility you could literally just be like oh okay well there's that spider doing the thing that spiders do i'm gonna just continue doing the thing that humans do i'm gonna human while he spiders you know like it's so simple but uh yeah it's such a fun journey to learn i so the um the oneness of Everything of course you know studying any sort of like hinduism or buddhism or any of those um or i'm not sure exactly that hinduism Points out a ton i haven't studied a lot of hinduism but um essentially like really Understanding conceptualizing like the we are one you know there are certain meditative states that you can experience this um but i had strangely enough just on

[01:39:19] Anna: Netflix there's this documentary called one strange rock with will smith have you seen that one is it an episode or is it one whole thing i think it's episodes it's episodes okay i've seen i think i've seen an episode or two because you better believe that as my those kind of things are my **** yes i'd love a good documentary nowadays we have such great ability to make fantastic documentaries but um The first episode was i think that was like my favorite but i remember like they were really describing like the breakdown of like here's how air works and here's how uh like the diatoms are formed that make the water and it forms it like it and you're just like oh my god what like it

[01:39:57] Anna: It's that thing where like we were talking about earlier what makes you feel small and then it's almost you almost have this laughing moment of like holy crap like why isn't this the most known thing ever of course there's a lot of new science and they're able to explain it better and now you know they have a famous actor will smith who's like we can connect with a little bit more maybe it's better language or more casual so uh yeah anybody who hasn't seen one strange rock on netflix if you want to understand like when we're saying like we are one and This whole thing we're in is connected you know anna was talking about the difference between like we separate our environment like it's something that's over there has nothing to do with us and should we focus on it should we fix it should we work on our environment it's like uh it's us it's what we it's like how we Do this so we should you know like yeah um i

[01:40:44] Anna: Wanted to ask you a little bit about your um so we kind of left off on you had Gone to la um you were starting this journey Um but you've been a coach and a yoga instructor now for a while um i mean like tell me about some of that What have been your experiences how have people been doing um since the quarantine even like how has your practice changed since the quarantine um and then also just because i don't want to forget before the end of this at any time or no rush we've got plane time but um if you have like your own videos And your own youtube channel your own site make sure we can get to like watch your yoga videos and learn from you more because i want to make sure that's out there 100 so Really when i first i described it kind of this when i first moved to la i was a lot of my healing happened In the physical body of course it's all Tied in right it's not separate however yoga i was like i just want to help people feel better in their bodies

[01:41:46] Anna: People are so uncomfortable in their own skin you know they feel like something's always wrong or if they have pain it's pain is very root chakra Right it's very difficult to To elevate levels of consciousness if You are in constant pain will keep you really stuck in and for anyone who you know who's listening you're like i don't know about chakras root chakra really Represents kind of survival and base level security You can also kind of compare it to like maslow's hierarchy of needs which is the base level which Is survival right so if you're in survival Mode it's really difficult to contemplate things like Self-actualization right and self-awareness it's so Grandiose and you're just like i my back hurts every day right so I really wanted to help people with that i was teaching a ton of yoga and as i think is a really I think it's a really smart move when you're kind of starting on your own business or you're doing the entrepreneur thing Is not to just like shift over all your

[01:42:58] Anna: Chips at once right so i had a couple of different things going on i wasn't just teaching yoga at This point and that was a lot of what i was doing so i had you know a couple of other Things supplemental income this kind of stuff and really loved it and quickly Discovered that it is pretty tough to teach like 16 Yoga classes in a week you think that i don't know maybe you think that sounds like a ton it is a time it's a lot you're driving Around you're planning out your sequences you're making playlists you're catering to you know all different kinds of audiences and experiences and you know It's just a lot so i started to Get more into meditation i'm so thankful i was actually working the front desk at a yoga studio that i taught at and i loved this place it was it was so Nurturing to me it opened up right around my birthday

[01:43:59] Jacob: A couple of months after i moved to la and it was a mile from my house it was like the god said i was like this is the place and at that place when i Was at the front desk you know there are hours that go by without anyone coming You know walking in so i would read and i would

[01:44:18] Jacob: Read all of the books that they had incredible books one that i can't recommend enough if you feel like you've got trauma stored in your body which all of us pretty much all of us do is the body keeps the score i was hoping you were saying that book yeah i have i have that and maslow hierarchy and needs like six feet away from me so i makes me so happy i feel like i've given i've so many times bought copies and then just given them away right away that i don't even know if i have a copy right now i'm like i think it's somewhere i don't know bless people who do that by the way that's like the best trait to give people books i when people give me a book i'm like oh my god like that's you like okay it's meant i'm meant to read this i'm like i'm about to send you a book or like three books it is my favorite thing it's like the spreading you know spreading and cultivation of

[01:45:08] Anna: Knowledge and awareness it's planting new seeds people's garden and it's like hey try on this plant this plant like really let the daylilies blossom you know um so after as i was doing that you know it Was i was working still a lot i was leading Online coaching programs and this whole time i'm being coached and mentored in Coaching i took my meditation teacher training with this amazing man named david nicktern also at the yoga studio they brought him there and it really it just started to open up So much for me i learned more about buddhism i would highly recommend uh the wisdom of no escape by pema children Also a beautiful book Meditation maybe that's the one i'll said you and it's um it's perspectives On how really how to live Meditation right off the cushion it's Like what is meditation and motion in Your life daily look like practicing cultivating Loving kindness and compassion right or Or noting the breath noting your thoughts and judgments as they surface and all

[01:46:26] Anna: Of that it just it got me meditating really consistently doing that program i started meditating and i this is a great you know a great place to be is you know 20 minutes five times a week is a beautiful meditation routine that's like i think it's pretty doable and even if you have to break it up 10 minutes twice a day five times a week Do it if you have to be lying down if you want to be sitting up if you want to be walking like just do it but have that be the Dedicated time and that really it opened up so much Spiritually for me i started to You know learn more about just the fun other elements of spirituality like cards my friend uh actually at this Yoga studio this yoga studio is like just the epicenter of so much of my like Quantum leaps in la because there was you know there Was different kinds of people that were we had yoga pilates and meditation and so these pilates teachers there was a older woman who gifted me this Deck of cards called the medicine cards

[01:47:33] Jacob: And it's all about the lessons of animals and taken from native american folklore that Really teach us and give us medicine For how to live how to connect to spirit In all things how to see the lessons of the aunt as just as Valuable as the lessons of the panther Right something like that so that was a Whole other element that opened up for me was seeing how along my path that animals have always Been communicating with me and sending me spiritual messages that was so fun and so wild to open up to and That played an element and i discovered that you know As i was learning to coach and i had always had like the coaching teaching perspective right like when i was in college i was a writing coach and would coach people through academic goals so i've always been really attuned to that and the way that i was leading programs And working with my mentors and coaches was a very masculine way was very Linear very goal-centric Uh very kind of structured and that is Really helpful it's really helpful thing It's gotten our society very far

[01:48:54] Jacob: It's helped us gain a lot of ground And as all beings are we need that Balance of the more masculine energy and the Feminine energy so i started to lean more into my intuition and i started to open up to different Practices like ecstatic dance and ceremony and ritual And just discovering that powerful Feminine energy as well along with that manifestation reading Every book i get my hands on taking all the courses like just soaking up so much rich learning because now i had time and energy to do that And it just blew my mind that i can make My schedule for the day and that i can Plan my business around the different phases of my cycle And when i'm in a really extra intuitive Space i can do big picture visioning and you know when I'm on my moon cycle i can take days at a time to rest like i Really need right and learn to work with My body learn to work with the things that i love to do so what i've seen in that time is Incredible i've had clients who have completely

[01:50:13] Anna: Healed themselves from autoimmune disorders i've had um you know folks who have Grappled with non-epileptic seizures through mindfulness discover a dramatic decrease in Their seizures and their ability to just live day to day so awesome i've you know so there's like that whole Spectrum and then now you know i've been leading Mindful living mentorship a program that i run for about a year and just seeing how really simple commitments And to your body to your mind and to Your spirit the accountability to meditate on a Daily or at least multiple times weekly basis brings So much more ease right i think we focus A lot on like reducing stress i'm like no i want to bring ease to your life i want to bring joy to your life and nurture that and The stress will just melt away that will happen So what i've really seen you know during Quarantine like right before quarantine it was such an interesting time i lost kind of two of my biggest Sources of income so the yoga studio That i was teaching at closed which was really sad And i think a necessary

[01:51:38] Anna: Loss necessary part of the process after Completing and a meditation plan i would go and Lead meditation at this office and um they too the business was Struggling so they were feeling all of these impacts of coven and on the economy and Whatnot and i really thought to myself you Know i've been doing this thing for a while i've been i've been coaching i have been loving Serving my private clients i've been creating programs i think at this point i could really use a business coach and i stumbled upon this woman She was pretty much one day away from Starting this six month mastermind and this was Started at the very beginning of march i Had never invested this much in a program like this for myself for my business no less And it was terrifying it was one of Those terrifying growth steps you're like i Know i need to do this but this is still really scary but i know i need to do this it's like good fear and i know like we Have all felt that of the next step because it's growth so

[01:52:49] Jacob: What i discovered in that process was i Really i wanted just to learn how can i Continue to serve better how can i serve my clients better how can i make this business when i'm working on sustainable and scalable and eventually employ people and Support you know a network of people that are that want to live an aligned and soulful And beautiful life and That's exactly what happened i Started um i remember i started around like right at the beginning of quarantine i felt like usually i'll have like a month or two in between those programs and this was like two weeks and i was like you guys i don't care we need this now like let's do this and What i discovered was that people Were really receptive People were really open to Taking a leap and trusting Themselves to say i know what i need and honestly i need some community i Need some support and i need some structure i needed Something to support me to hold me up And that's what that program was and to hear people say like i managed the quarantine and everything

[01:54:11] Anna: That came with it so much better as a result of this As a result of like some of the simplest Tools i really believe in making it simple for people it doesn't have to be Complicated breath work meditation Reflection journals is like what it is pretty much and it's just the best thing in the Whole world it's like it's the thing that gets me Like leave out of bed in the morning and now i just started this Basically now i'm leaving a six-month mastermind for six women oh you know for to Who really like my intention was like a Lot of people are like i'm over 2020 right people are like done With you and i'm like boo it's certainly not over like In a way it feels like we're just getting started so i really wanted a container a space for people who These are a lot of people have been in work with me to continue to grow

[01:55:12] Anna: And you know it's called Soulshine social and masculine it's bringing your fullest self every single day to uplift Everyone around you and a lot of these Women there are you know they've studied functional medicine or they're health coaches or some of them are yoga teachers and then and then some of them are just people who have discovered and seen this Work for themselves and they want to know how to go deeper How can i more fully live in my purpose how can i Have more fun or feel more confident in Sharing the things that i know have helped me and that can probably help other people so that's like between that and moving To joshua tree and we haven't even talked about this but i also um well i won't say met we met about a Year ago when we're best friends but i'm now with my absolute soulmate twin Flame love of my life that all happened in quarantine so i'm over here sitting like this is my This is the best year ever i have like no hatred no qualm with 20

[01:56:20] Anna: 20. and acknowledge it's brought up a lot of painful stuff it's we like asked for clarity and We got it and clarity is can be tough sometimes the Illusion the veil being removed can be painful It's like blinking your eyes at the at the bright sunlight yeah tell me about it i uh you know we All have our dark knights of the soul that we experience in strange ways and uh a lot of the shadow work you know brings up these things in different ways um man that's a your story is just so great anna uh just thinking about like so So thinking about what we have now you Know with technology like the ability to really like even doing this you know like you're in joshua tree right now and yeah like it's this bummer thing

[01:57:10] Anna: That quarantine happened and like we're not able to like people can't meet in person i can't do as many in-person podcasts and all these things but we also are able to do these sort of things more and we're also able to do you know when it comes to healing and healing our mind there's so many different things we can do and we can find it online we can find it on our computers we can like master classes and um and Like these uh retreats and stuff And the masterminds that you do like that's something that is kind of new like in the last you know we people have been doing them for probably 10 years or something i'm sure but it seems like in the last five years you see just different levels of them i see tony haw like nowadays you can go online masterclass. com tony hawk teaches you how to skateboard or the uh i'm spacing his name

[01:57:56] Anna: The famous chef who's like kind of an **** but he's like a really good jordan ramsey gordon ramsay he has his own master class like you can literally just learn directly from people like they don't have to have grown up in your same community you don't have to they don't have to be a family friend you know like you could just be drawn to these certain ways of learning and you can learn in different ways so what um could you just explain to me For imagine that the person has like they haven't heard of a master class or a mastermind or any of this like so um Like don't give away all your juice of course but like what exactly do they do and how does that benefit them day-to-day yeah absolutely so to me if There's kind of two ways that we Grow right growth is part of is part of

[01:58:43] Jacob: Us naturally we are made for growth expansion learning right now it's a lot easier like you said with so much technology with so much knowledge widely available right I believe that there's two ways you can Go you can grow like no coming to consciousness except through pain like the universe whispers is like hey you've been stuck in this situation for a long time like maybe it's time to move on come on like they kind of like give you nudges and then it's like hey wake up right and Then it becomes louder and more uncomfortable so we can grow through that way and i Chose that way for a long time unconsciously chose it because i didn't know there was another way there's another way that we can grow and that is growing through joy to me the elements Of growing through joy are that you have a container for a specified amount of time right we it's too much for us like Talking about like you know grid and like long-term goals like it's we get really demoralized when it's Way too far in the future if it's like five years right or

[01:59:54] Jacob: Three years and that's why you know a lot of Programs like mindful living mentorship is seven weeks it's seven weeks because that's about the time it takes to really instill a

[02:00:06] Anna: Habit right Soulshine it's six months because I really wanted something longer term and sustained like what i had experienced which is Compound interest of growth over Time just like you know dollars in the bank You see what little deposits each day There and huge harvest huge rewards

[02:00:32] Jacob: Right that sustained commitment and then Also making sure that your growth is sustainable that it's not um i will Never promise anyone a quick fix a magic pill like this Is if you want that i that this is not The thing for you right yeah it's gonna be working i really believe that it doesn't have to be struggle bus right It doesn't have you don't have to be the victim you don't need a victim's story to grow And learn but that really if you desire to grow and you want to grow in joy choose something that's going to be a little bit uncomfortable like this program where basically i teach you All of the things that i have done over The last couple of years so that this year has gone how it's gone For me right so really practically how to deal With your doubt and your fear we work on Unmapping and unwiring or unlearning Triggers and conditioning and then how to consciously that's funny how to consciously program your subconscious how to program beliefs so that

[02:01:44] Jacob: Those are the beliefs that you choose right for yourself to cultivate a life that you see and then also how to live from a centered and aligned place so that everything that you're doing from the daily micro to the macro to the big actions and the Big leaps are in alignment with what your soul Values not what the world says you need not what your ego wants but what truly your soul space is here to bring you've maybe heard it as your dharma or your purpose right your life's mission all those things aligning with that i Also teach very practically my process which is you know bits From abraham hicks and bits from joe Dispenza and science and spirituality and just my Own experimentation and exploration To learn how to consistently and Confidently manifest and create a reality that you Are in love with yeah so that's really

[02:02:46] Jacob: What that's about that's incredible i mean yeah that's perfect i love i love that you had a chance to explain it because it's we can really see it as like something new and something um special like it really is like this cool opportunity that we have like nowadays you know i was talking about sam harris's waking up app like we oh my gosh like if this was the

[02:03:08] Anna: 60s i would have had to all right well i gotta quit my life and i gotta go to the tibet and i gotta go across the mountains and i gotta say the right passwords so they don't say like oh the guru is not home and like and i gotta work there for six months and then maybe he's actually been here the whole time and i didn't know it was him and all these like you know like you we've heard these enlightenment stories of going to the mountain and now like we have advanced so much and we're like we can help each other in such incredible ways we can speak each other's language too and really connect on like where we're actually at and i mean technology is quite the Thing um it's painful in a lot of ways i Just watched the social dilemma on netflix last night which is a oh man that was like hard to watch um Which i recommend if anybody should watch that you should definitely watch it um but um or that sorry that listener should watch it um and but i think that we also can see

[02:04:01] Anna: These things as wonderful powerful tools as individuals For you know i mean the fact that you can connect with someone through this through the laptop you know through a camera or through phone calls or you can you have access to so much more than we used to have just you know 40 years ago 30 years ago 20 years ago uh i think it's so great i think it's Really cool that you're doing what you're doing too and i think that um like You've really shifted your life and experienced these things and always been kind of like looking for it seems like you're just looking for like different ways to serve and that's just a beautiful thing and the most beautiful thing is that it's full circle like it gives you a good life like you know like you can you can live Through service instead of like what can i get and then once i get enough and i have enough extra money and i don't want any more ferraris then i could donate some money to charity it's like no you could start and you could how

[02:04:58] Anna: Can i serve other people and like life just starts sprinkling some stuff On you and it's like here's how you can serve and you're going to love yourself for it you know oh my god that's to me that's the it's such an Impactful way to live Through the lens of every single day i Meditate and i ask myself and not my ego I ask my the deepest part of myself How can i serve how can i contribute to The world today and a lot of times you know the message The message is just share your story And give people that hope and that Trust that you know what This person you see right now Unrecognizable from years ago from like i always say it's like my hot mess stressed anxious depressed anna Was like then and like unrecognizable From the woman that you see before you So if you're feeling like god there's just no way that i could see this getting better for myself like i really just if there's anything that i can say is it Can and will get better choose to look for the good

[02:06:13] Anna: Choose to see what you can learn from The tough stuff and know that change is life has Changed and changes life like that's just all part of it 100

[02:06:13] Jacob: Okay anna we're getting up here in time this has been such a wonderful conversation uh i'm super i'm so grateful for chase That chase is just such an awesome person anyway he's like so inspiring and anytime i got to work with him i was like this guy is impressive um but i'm so glad that he connected us so glad we had got we got to have this conversation um give me just uh one more time before we send it off here give the listeners where can they find you what's your instagram handle uh what website you have a website up yet i do yeah absolutely so um thankfully it's all condensed And streamlined My website is www. annacantwell. com That's A-n-n-a-c-a-n-t-w-e-l-l my instagram is probably where i most active it's i am Anna Cantwell super simple and then That'll have links to my website i have a facebook community where i lead live meditations every week and in the works in the process

[02:07:26] Anna: Is a membership where i'll have all my Yoga videos all my meditations and then all this fun energetic spiritual stuff too that'll be available super soon And i have also a round of mindful Living mentorship it's coming up and it will start on september 27th you can take it from anywhere in the world it's all over zoom we meet for an hour 15 once a week For seven weeks it'll bring you right up to Right before uh thanksgiving just like the week or two before so if you're looking for some consistency and some community those are the two Really three promises clarity you're looking for some of that's a great place to start to get into meditation to build these Habits that support you living just a wonderful life

[02:08:19] Jacob: And thank you

[02:08:19] Anna: Thank you so much jay for having me and thank you all for listening yeah this is so great this is super cool anna um

[02:08:19] Jacob: Well listeners take care of yourself uh I'm gonna end this recording but and i will talk for another couple minutes but uh Listeners drink water stretch don't be Afraid to challenge your own beliefs and Explore yourself like you're here and that's okay you could just figure this life out and you could live you could live a life where you love yourself every day it's clearly possible like it's there's so many people popping up like anna who are just like hey trust me here i'm live i'm happy and you can be too and i think that when you hear people share their story like that it really sparks this thing within each of us as individuals where we're like maybe i can maybe i can do it and hey listen listener you can love yourself All right peace out have a good day Listeners My Knowledge is power