# Episode 060 - Solo with Jacob Rhines - Sober October - A Personal Mental Review (video) - Episode: 0060 - Date: 2020-11-06 - Duration: 1:33:41 - Guest: *(solo / host-only — no guest)* - Host: Jacob Rhines (JacobFromTheInternet) - YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QIhVC0ZBI4Q - RSS: https://share.transistor.fm/s/1d2deb97 - Spotify (show): https://open.spotify.com/show/45J7CBdM8j29doqyBp2bFs - Apple (show): https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-junkyard-love-podcast/id1489118788 ## About For the month of October 2020 I chose to quit Social Media, Alchohol, Weed, Masturbation and Caffeine. In exchange - I chose to commit to every day drinking 1 gallon of water, writing 1 page, performing 20 minutes of yoga, as well as run/cardio 5 days a week. This episode entails my thoughts along the way, some of the hardships, a few of the victories, and lots of the personal psychology along the way. I attempted to analyze my own thoughts and feelings around the challenge, and insert some tips, tricks, new thoughts, and encouragement to anyone who would like to give their own 30 day challenge a try. Find this episode over on youtube for the video version. Best of luck to you Self-Actualizers - You're much more than your vices and habits. ## Chapters (none published in episode notes) ## Quotes (none published in episode notes) ## Guest links (none published — solo) ## Archive picks Not from Jacob’s published episode notes — extracted from this episode’s transcript. Published About / Chapters / Quotes blocks above stay unchanged. ### Memorable quotes - [00:02:30] Jacob: “Life um things that i enjoy and then things that i just do just out of habit um i think a lot of you can relate with waking” - [00:03:48] Jacob: “Quit caffeine i had lowered my caffeine intakes severely which helps greatly with anxiety that's something that a lot of us overlook i think when it comes to” - [00:11:47] Jacob: “Slight headaches don't just jump to ibuprofen like how much water have you drank you'll notice a lot of times when someone tells you to drink water or” - [00:19:01] Jacob: “Neurotic thoughts and helps me that social lubricant right i'm sure we all know how it is where you just kind of feel awkward almost or you feel” - [00:25:32] Jacob: “Ownership of what we're dealing with because like who **** cares if someone else thinks you're an alcoholic you're the one who's dealing with it like if you're” - [00:30:58] Jacob: “There's real power in that you know really sticking to your guns and if you have trouble with that if you have trouble saying no if you have” - [00:38:45] Jacob: “I woke up to some wet drawers i had a wet dream situation and it was interesting because i don't even remember some sort of fantasy i don't” - [00:53:21] Jacob: “Far from corny you know it's uh abnormal but it's something that we need to really strive for and really find ways to get um to get nowadays” - [01:03:14] Jacob: “To terms with a couple years back i was like holy **** i am obsessed with other people's approval i love other people's approval i really want people” - [01:24:16] Jacob: “Into it like this is just something that i do and our personality is our personal reality right you know we habitually do all these things and that's” ### Chapter-style timestamps - [00:00:06](/episodes/0060-solo-jacob-rhines-sober-october-a-personal-mental-review/#t-00-00-06) — Open — Junkyard Love bumper / better conversations - [00:02:30](/episodes/0060-solo-jacob-rhines-sober-october-a-personal-mental-review/#t-00-02-30) — What I gave up / daily commitments (water, write, yoga, run) - [00:03:48](/episodes/0060-solo-jacob-rhines-sober-october-a-personal-mental-review/#t-00-03-48) — Caffeine quit — anxiety, decaf slips, jaw twitch - [00:10:26](/episodes/0060-solo-jacob-rhines-sober-october-a-personal-mental-review/#t-00-10-26) — Gallon of water — hydration vs ibuprofen instant fix - [00:17:17](/episodes/0060-solo-jacob-rhines-sober-october-a-personal-mental-review/#t-00-17-17) — Alcohol break — social lubricant urges & lonely IPA texts - [00:25:32](/episodes/0060-solo-jacob-rhines-sober-october-a-personal-mental-review/#t-00-25-32) — Ownership — who cares if someone else thinks you’re an alcoholic - [00:32:26](/episodes/0060-solo-jacob-rhines-sober-october-a-personal-mental-review/#t-00-32-26) — Masturbation / porn-free — structure around urges - [00:38:45](/episodes/0060-solo-jacob-rhines-sober-october-a-personal-mental-review/#t-00-38-45) — Near-miss fail on day 29 — shame, guilt, restart - [00:44:58](/episodes/0060-solo-jacob-rhines-sober-october-a-personal-mental-review/#t-00-44-58) — Weed — plant medicine respect / sleep / anxiety - [00:53:21](/episodes/0060-solo-jacob-rhines-sober-october-a-personal-mental-review/#t-00-53-21) — Yoga 20 minutes a day — stretch before bed tip - [01:00:08](/episodes/0060-solo-jacob-rhines-sober-october-a-personal-mental-review/#t-01-00-08) — Social media loneliness — phone as default comfort - [01:08:45](/episodes/0060-solo-jacob-rhines-sober-october-a-personal-mental-review/#t-01-08-45) — Notifications off / ADHD & attention spans - [01:16:40](/episodes/0060-solo-jacob-rhines-sober-october-a-personal-mental-review/#t-01-16-40) — Running five times a week — identity through sticking - [01:20:02](/episodes/0060-solo-jacob-rhines-sober-october-a-personal-mental-review/#t-01-20-02) — Writing one page — the goal I neglected - [01:26:22](/episodes/0060-solo-jacob-rhines-sober-october-a-personal-mental-review/#t-01-26-22) — Invite — next Sober October / stick to your guns - [01:30:40](/episodes/0060-solo-jacob-rhines-sober-october-a-personal-mental-review/#t-01-30-40) — Close — Instagram @jacobfromtheinternet / self-actualization ### Keywords Junkyard Love Podcast, JYLP 0060, Jacob Rhines, Jacob from the Internet, solocast, Solo with Jacob Rhines, Sober October, Sober October 2020, personal mental review, social media detox, alcohol, weed, caffeine, masturbation, gallon of water, writing one page, yoga, running, cardio, 30 day challenge, habits, default mode network, self-actualization, addiction awareness, anxiety, ADHD, ibuprofen, Kangen water, notifications, long form podcast ### Hashtags #JYLP0060 #JunkyardLove #Solocast #SoberOctober #SoberOctober2020 #Habits #SelfActualization #SocialMediaDetox #Alcohol #Caffeine #Yoga #GallonOfWater #MentalHealth #JYLP #JacobFromTheInternet ### Episode framing (solo) Solo episode (no guest). Jacob reviews his October 2020 Sober October challenge — quitting social media, alcohol, weed, masturbation, and caffeine while committing to a gallon of water daily, one page of writing, 20 minutes of yoga, and run/cardio five days a week. Personal psychology, hardships, victories, and encouragement for anyone trying a 30-day challenge. Matches published About: Self-Actualizers — you're much more than your vices and habits. ## Transcript Source: YouTube automatic captions (en-orig). Light cleanup only (all turns Jacob; timestamps). Solo. Imperfect ASR flagged. Not rewritten. Word count: 17177. Turns: 223. [00:00:06] Jacob: Hello and welcome to the Junkyard Love Podcast at what age do we learn how to have better conversations at what age do we learn to have better conversations with ourselves uh knowledge is power Sober October in review welcome my friends to the Junkyard Love Podcast it is i your host your creator of the Junkyard Love Podcast Jacob so today i wanted to make this episode to go over kind of my experience with Sober October um not that it makes me super special just by doing it just by completing it um but i feel like it's actually a lot farther out of reach for a lot of us than we realize we're so uh caught up in our habits you know me myself of course uh just we're caught in the same loops and we don't seem to see the benefits of taking a break from our vices or taking a break from our urges or really looking at why we should question our habits our habitual default mode network moves that make our identity right so what i did for Sober October 2020 was i gave up i did no social media of any sort i didn't know alcohol i didn't know weed i didn't know masturbation and i did no coffee no caffeine those are all things that um are not necessarily difficult for me to give up um but parts of who i am and parts of my habitual [00:02:30] Jacob: Life um things that i enjoy and then things that i just do just out of habit um i think a lot of you can relate with waking up and you kind of just you just feel a little uh until you get your cup of coffee right there's it's part of our part of our character is being coffee consumers not everybody drinks coffee but in our culture nowadays this is a it's a an addictive wonderful drug that we all uh partake in is coffee uh caffeine i used to i've had issues [00:03:03] Jacob: With coffee before or caffeine before rather i used to drink a ton of energy drinks um and then my sleep schedule was all super crazy um i worked night shift for five years and so my nocturnal just sleepy weirdness was in full effect [00:03:22] Jacob: So i would consume pre-workout which has a ton of caffeine um i would consume one to two energy drinks a day or a night and that was just what i did i just i pretty much just went to the store without thinking about you just go to the gas station and you just get your energy drinks because you know that if you don't have them you're gonna hit a wall and you're gonna feel just super sleepy and sad at work and you don't want that so um i hadn't ever [00:03:48] Jacob: Quit caffeine i had lowered my caffeine intakes severely which helps greatly with anxiety that's something that a lot of us overlook i think when it comes to anxiety and lack of sleep and sleeping thoroughly throughout the night uh there's it seems so obvious and on the surface right like we know that caffeine makes us feel amped but we somehow you know disconnect it from my god i slept so shitty last night well if you had a cup of coffee or you had a monster at 4 pm whatever it is stuff lasts in [00:04:19] Jacob: Your system for a while i think it still has like pretty big effects 6 hours later is what it is but regardless so i wanted to give up caffeine for 30 days i did that successfully i did not go back and i did have i think a total of four instances where [00:04:40] Jacob: I technically drank coffee but it was decaf two of the times it was actually just a black cup of coffee we got some decaf downstairs and i just did it just so i can like sit down and get some work done to try to trick my mind into that habitual because i write and i work well like having my morning cup of coffee i'm extra creative in the morning and such so i wanted to trick my mind into having that cup of joe um it was weird like i knew that it wasn't caffeine though so it was just mildly unsatisfying it was i don't know [00:05:08] Jacob: It didn't hit the spot honestly having the decaf cup i think i might have even been better just saying completely no like no if it has any sort of caffeine let's just not do it 30 days 31 days whatever it was um and then i had two other times where i went to a place in town to get a protein [00:05:25] Jacob: Shake and i had them add part of the ingredients is coffee but i just had them do decaf coffee so i got two protein shakes that had decaf in them um when i came back onto the scene november 1st i woke up [00:05:38] Jacob: And it was a sunday and i was like oh man i can have a cup of coffee i was so hyped i drove to red leaf i got a cup of coffee i saw a friend who haven't seen for a while so that was nice seeing her through the drive-through and i came back and i was drinking it and i was working on some stuff some audio work um and i was amped i was jittery i was [00:05:58] Jacob: Like i loved it but after a couple hours actually i noticed i was i was literally biting down on my jaw a little bit like my i was tensed up in [00:06:07] Jacob: My jaw area my face area and my leg was twitching um it's interesting because it's this enjoyable high right you know we love that when you're just kind of carefree and you have it's it's energy and there's almost motivation in that energy we're all used to that coffee high but i [00:06:26] Jacob: Think i'm someone who's very aware of how i feel at all times and so i really like i really enjoyed studying myself when it comes to this like okay i have this first cup of coffee and i like it but i'm pretty aimed right now like am i you know is this a better feeling than equanimity is this a better feeling than the homeostasis that i had or seemingly had for the last 31 days so it was interesting and then it's been a couple days since that day i've had a cup of coffee every day in the morning i really enjoy my morning cup of coffee my brain works the best my brain seems to be most days the clearest upon rising and so i like to um and i also got my awesome roommates got me a [00:07:09] Jacob: Yeti coffee cup so i can go outside and do my meditations and yoga out in the cold and still not have a cold cup of coffee by the end of it so that's wonderful um but i did notice last night i actually i had my cup of coffee in the morning and then i kind of hit a brick wall at work last night at like 5 p.m and i had a cup of coffee and it was interesting because i was i enjoyed the cup of [00:07:36] Jacob: Coffee but i was very aware as i was drinking it like this probably isn't the best idea it's probably better for me to power through this tired feeling that i'm having go walk around at work or go kind of just take a break from the computer screen that's making me tired um but i but what was easy was that [00:07:54] Jacob: Instant fix right like you can go pour a cup of coffee you get the smell you get the whole thing and within 20 minutes when you're able to drink it when it's not too dang hot you feel fine you feel alert you feel awake you have energy pep in your step [00:08:08] Jacob: But it has adverse effects because at night like i had trouble falling asleep last night i drank that cup of coffee way too late i had two cups of coffee when i'm not really used to that much caffeine right now so it got me pretty amped up [00:08:21] Jacob: So there's there's something to be said for that i think to round out the coffee caffeine thing i think that we could look at a lot of these um especially energy drinks man i used to be obsessed with their drinks i think they're delicious um i was never really a soda guy but energy drinks uh just all of them i love to try all the new flavors um but you know we got to just keep an eye on ourselves we got to keep an eye on um just being able to be okay without it [00:08:51] Jacob: I think um not having you know not only the caffeine headaches that you get when you don't have one like we also notice it's almost like that the word hangry we hear that a lot um we get almost a kind of a slight headache you know the caffeine withdrawal headache and it makes us almost grumpy [00:09:08] Jacob: And just like with hangry it's kind of this thing where we're okay with being kind of a turd or kind of being a jerk or kind of being a brat whatever it is like we're grown adults but we're not able to really connect the fact that we're hungry or we need caffeine or we make it okay to be snappy or like not our best versions of ourselves because we have this craving that we really want like well i'll be happy don't talk to me before my first cup of coffee [00:09:35] Jacob: I don't know i it's it's something interesting i know a lot of people are in that bubble um i've certainly been a caffeine consumer i mean i started working i was 15 and i just started hitting the edge drinks pretty hard back then so taking the 30-day break the 31-day break was i'm glad i'm glad i did it um i'm going to be a lot more aware of my caffeine intake i've kind [00:09:59] Jacob: Of just like let it rip the last couple days just see like what do i really feel like doing but like i said last night i had i had the instance where i said shouldn't have drank that i should have just powered through the little sleepiness that i felt or maybe the food that i ate earlier was making me sleepy so i can make better food choices so i don't have to rely on coffee later you know your food is your energy source as well your um your water intake too so when it comes to water intake [00:10:26] Jacob: Is super important i mean everybody always says that but it's this thing you know if you listen to this podcast i'm always chiming in about i'm always going on about it i have my friend devin sins sims on here talking about Kangen water [00:10:38] Jacob: Which i will totally butcher it and i'll sound like a total dork trying to explain it but the water is like more oxidized it's more filtered it's more electrically charged it helps [00:10:49] Jacob: It's broken down better so it uh penetrates our cells a little bit better um and i think you know we all know plenty of people you know if you're saying millennial age or younger listening to this podcast i have a feeling you know your parents or your grandparents or even your older co-workers it might be very normal for them to never ever drink any water i mean i know i feel like i know hundreds of people who it's part of their personality it's like a joke to not drink water and those same people have like back pain and they have issues with colon and in digestive issues and uh you know their knees are and their ankles hurt and their hips hurt and they have you know again bad back i'm not saying [00:11:35] Jacob: That water is the cure to all these things but you really need to think about what we are you know we're very liquidy beings we're made of tons of water and i'm telling you uh [00:11:47] Jacob: Slight headaches don't just jump to ibuprofen like how much water have you drank you'll notice a lot of times when someone tells you to drink water or you're drinking extra water you end up feeling a lot better [00:12:00] Jacob: But it just kind of breezes over like you just you're just noticing that you don't feel the pain or discomfort anymore the headache anymore and so you just kind of go about your day but when bad things happen or illnesses feel like they're they're setting in or we feel we just feel kind of crappy we [00:12:21] Jacob: Really put a note in that we're always like oh get that away i don't want to feel bad i just want to feel comfort and being aware of that i think is important and i think water helps a lot with that because when you're not drinking enough water you have all these little things that happen to your body throughout the day and happen to your to your brain and happen um you know inflammation is a huge thing that i think water helps reduce um and we just get we just get used to [00:12:48] Jacob: Reaching for the instant fix the ibuprofen you know i've been there i've totally used to just take so much freaking ibuprofen i would actually have um you know everybody knows that drinking dehydrates you and i would i would drink you know even if i had just two ipas um i would go to bed i would put four ibuprofen on my bedside table so in the middle of night or in the morning i wake up and as soon as i started to feel like maybe the slightest headache i would just be like oh i broken pop those drink some water go back to sleep and you wake up and you feel fine but i think we should really be saving those you know [00:13:25] Jacob: Ibuprofen's great these inflammatory things like it's all aspirin it's all it's all great stuff that we have but we don't need to just be running to it every single time um i think that you know for me personally i think that a lot of doing that like tore up my gut lining i think that um the effects that it had the negative effects though very hard to pinpoint exactly what they were i think that the negative [00:13:50] Jacob: Effects just weren't really weighing out me being able to just deal with like hey i have a slight headache and once i get moving once i drink some water if i do 15 minutes of stretching and i go outside and i get some fresh air take maybe take my shoes off and get my feet on the ground bare feet do some breath work and stretching and moving around like the slight hangover the slight headache that i have or the achiness or whatever it is will likely go away um and i urge you guys to try that too so if you're someone who just habitually pops ibuprofen and you don't drink water [00:14:23] Jacob: You know do your thing but just you know be aware of it be aware is this the best thing to help me long term we're always looking to put a peg and how do i feel the best right this second how do i feel good now and that's not always the best answer for our body on a spectrum you know our life on a holistic long-term timeline you know and so water was great i really enjoyed the Kangen water i had a couple different things it was nice to [00:14:56] Jacob: Just go over to my friend's house and uh converse with him for a little bit as i would fill up the water jugs and he'd run me through the whole thing um i'm very picky about water so i noticed the taste i feel like a lot so the Kangen water i don't know i [00:15:11] Jacob: Won't talk too much about it because i really don't know a ton about it but that's what i drank during the month of october and it was great and i enjoyed it and i hit my gallon a day and [00:15:24] Jacob: I think that everybody should try to shoot for that i think every single time you when you take a drink of water don't make it just oh i'm going to wait time thirsty to take a drink of water or i'm going to force myself to drink water it's like when you do take water try to add in try to count certain gulps try to say i'm going to try to drink for five seconds straight or i'm going to [00:15:45] Jacob: Take a lot one more gulp than i normally would just because you know you're trying to increase your intake and then after a while you know after a couple weeks when you're kind of forcing yourself to get into that new habit of drinking water always having a water bottle with you always have water bottles in your car whatever it is um just always having [00:16:04] Jacob: Access to these things and not going for the soda not going for the energy drinks not going for another cup of coffee just quenching your thirst with water at all times um it starts to make it [00:16:16] Jacob: You become more thirsty more often but it's a good thing you enjoy drinking water like you want to get more water in your body definitely thanks you for it and i will say i think there's something about waking up hydrated our body goes through a ton when we're sleeping i think our body cycles through just a ton of our hydration and i know me like if i would rather [00:16:40] Jacob: Wake up in the middle of night to have to go take a leak than wake up just completely dried out and feeling all crusty and dusty and rusty you know so drink a ton of water um [00:16:51] Jacob: It's good for you have water right next to your bed every single night and maybe try to make a habit to in the mornings just wake up and drink water it gets your digestive system going even before you have a cup of coffee just try to chug half a glass of water good to go and then stretch it out get it rolling um so that's water went well um i did let's see no drinking [00:17:17] Jacob: Um that was that was a pretty easy one for me i um you know situationally in my life right now i'm going through a lot of um you know going through going through a breakup it's like i really i don't want to drown my sorrows you know i'm kind of [00:17:36] Jacob: Aged out of that sort of feeling i don't want to just go get blacked out drunk or anything but i did notice like just the inevitable loneliness that i felt i just and i didn't have social media either so i felt very disconnected um i would kind of just like i'd walk in and basically see just like my roommate and he's working he's got headphones in and like we wouldn't really interact like there'd be multiple days where i just wouldn't really see anybody and i felt very lonely i felt very like [00:18:03] Jacob: I you know i wanted to like text other people just to like i guess talk about myself or see what they're up to or um i wanted to the urge to drink came with i wanted to [00:18:15] Jacob: Hit up my friends and just say like hey you want to go grab an ipa do you want to go grab a beer do you want to go meet at this place and it's it's interesting because [00:18:26] Jacob: There was a lot of me that was feeling guilty about that like oh man i thought i kicked this like this urge to drink you know because i um i've never been like a big alcoholic i've never been a huge [00:18:37] Jacob: Heavy drinker i don't really like to get like blacked out all the time certainly have but um i mean my preference is just have a couple beers and you know a **** session um it kind of like helps me shut down my overly neurotic overly um you know aware conscientions um uh yeah just overly [00:19:01] Jacob: Neurotic thoughts and helps me that social lubricant right i'm sure we all know how it is where you just kind of feel awkward almost or you feel self-conscious even or [00:19:13] Jacob: Whatever it is that alcohol helps us all with in social settings i totally get that i'm totally with you on that um but really just going through [00:19:21] Jacob: This sad time i really just noticed my urge to not just get close to my friends but i wanted i really wanted to just go have a couple beers you know like uh it would it'd feel better if i just had a couple beers but i also am someone who i deal with i have major depression depressive disorder and when i get carried away like say i [00:19:42] Jacob: Have you know i have beers three times a week like or whatever it is or i go to too overboard or my diet's super crappy and then i have a couple beers sometimes it's all fun and games it's all great i'm having a great time and then i go home i'm at home and my depression just starts really kicking my ass i just can't really grab hold of it because you know the couple drinks is enough to kind of it uh you know alcohol is a depressant so it gets harder to grab control of the depression symptoms and i'm sure anybody with anxiety alcohol may affect you in the same way so um alcohol [00:20:21] Jacob: I'm glad that i did the break um me personally when it comes to my journey for drinking i started drinking i think i was 14. um i just you know i grew up as a skateboarder with no [00:20:35] Jacob: Structure like we were just kind of you know i guess kind of like the rebellious type like you know we weren't the first people to drink at our high school or our middle school or whatever it was but we were definitely like the amount of people that got drunk with [00:20:52] Jacob: My group of friends for their first time was fairly high there's this weird dichotomy and i'm not saying i'm like proud of this or this is something that i aspire to put on my chest but alcohol has just been immensely normal in my life when i was way younger my parents would have like multiple parties my parents would go out pretty much every weekend um they had [00:21:19] Jacob: Like a favorite bar in town that they would always go to we'd always had a ton of bikers who were always they were always drinking um when i was a young kid and so alcohol [00:21:28] Jacob: Has just been incredibly normalized to me and i think that a lot of people especially in small towns like our town it's it's all it's just incredibly normal it's just what you do um you know what it doesn't have to be binge drinking it could just be kind of like it's just a little stress reliever like you have a glass of wine or i do this blah it's something that can certainly grab hold of us though if we're not careful just noticing my like my urges when i quit this 30 days i've i've quit in the last two years i took a break um started 30 days and [00:22:04] Jacob: Then i went to 45 and then it was just a few months just because i was so um it was kind of when i when i first had my you know spiritual awakening kind of rebirth ego death i started [00:22:16] Jacob: Learning all this philosophy i started learning all this self-help started obsessively listening to guys like tony robbins all these things i basically like was inserting meaning into my life i just didn't think about the booze i was just so obsessed with what i was [00:22:29] Jacob: Doing here um like my work and my future work and just learning about these things they were just so enthralling to me that i didn't really think about booze i wasn't really hanging out with anybody um but you know inevitably your life you [00:22:45] Jacob: Can't just like stay locked in your basement your whole life you know like it gets to the point where um you almost when you like don't hang out with anybody don't talk to anybody there's almost like a slight agoraphobia that we step into that is just this craving for social [00:23:01] Jacob: Interaction but you feel almost crippled by it and so when you're when you're overly neurotic and overly analytical about your thoughts and what you're saying in the room and everything that's happening in the room um and you have maybe you [00:23:15] Jacob: Relate to someone as someone who has ADHD where your attention span it's very difficult to keep your attention span alcohol helps those things in social situations especially like being at a bar being at a concert where it's loud there's a lot going on there's lights there's people walking over here there's people walking over there's people walking in the door maybe there's people looking at me maybe there's not did i say that thing wrong did i say that thing right am i explaining this correctly what does this person think about me there's all these overly just ridiculous things that in social settings especially nowadays many of us go through and um i don't think that i'm alone when i say having a drink or two drinks or a shot or whatever it is it's it's a very personal internal thing um we you know we of [00:24:03] Jacob: Course enjoy it like it's like i like to have a couple drinks um i can let go i don't really care what i'm doing maybe i'm more apt to kind of sing along to the song that's playing maybe that's what i need to get some karaoke in me and in the end you know i danced around i sang around with my friends that's worthy like it pulled me out of my shell a little bit and out of my head right um it's it's it's interesting um just because it's so normal there are a lot of effects of alcohol that i think a lot of us have a lot of [00:24:40] Jacob: Negative effects or a lot of um addictions towards alcohol that we aren't really able to admit to ourselves or able to look ours look ourselves in the eye when it comes to right um when we think of addicts where we think of an alcoholic you know we're always like anybody who [00:24:57] Jacob: Drinks the first we're like oh i'm not that i'm so far from that we have this image in our head of what an alcoholic is or what someone who drinks too much is we might even have um if you're listener if you're a drinker or even casually just once in a while [00:25:13] Jacob: You might have kind of an image or a friend someone you know you're like oh they put they drink too much or they whatever blah well you know they probably have the same thing in their eyes like they probably aren't gonna say oh i'm an alcoholic or oh i'm whatever this is it's these labels stop us from really analyzing and taking um taking [00:25:32] Jacob: Ownership of what we're dealing with because like who **** cares if someone else thinks you're an alcoholic you're the one who's dealing with it like if you're um you know like obviously you don't want to be destructive and just being ruining your life and hurting people around you driving drunk these sorts of things but there's there's this internal uh avoidance of admittance of our own [00:25:56] Jacob: Kind of like habits that don't make us feel good you know what the ego does is we take credit for all the things that are good but we reject all the things that are bad like we push those away and we don't want to see those because we're protecting ourselves from that pain in a sense so um i suppose the no drinking thing is i it's it's helpful um i think it's still a slow a slow journey for me um i'm very much looking forward to i had um my boss at work who's an old friend he took me out the night before my birthday like we got off work [00:26:38] Jacob: At like 9 30 something like that and we went to one of my favorable bars and just him and i sat there and shot the **** we had one shot each and a beer and it was nice you know just to bs and just listen to the touch tunes i grew up in those environments um i think a lot of people in small towns grew up in you know bar or like sports bar or restaurant with drinks environments and there's there's a comfort to that so i think going forward i think i'll just be more ultra aware of my drinking um more i'm gonna put my foot down [00:27:18] Jacob: With myself i think as far as you know you get that you get like one beer down and or even two beers down and you're feeling great and then you have this like yeah we'll do one more i will do one more whatever it is a lot of us have our own versions of that but i think that maybe i'll just be more sturdy and be like you know i feel pretty good right now and i don't have to keep this feeling going i don't have to it's okay if this feeling only lasts for 15 more minutes and then i'm kind of like a little tired or i don't have to be desperately trying to hold on to this light wonderful i'm drunk i'm not [00:27:56] Jacob: Thinking about whatever my **** or whatever my bad day was you know we're always trying to snapshot oh i feel good right now i want to maintain feeling good or i want to feel even better i think just kind of setting those limits for ourselves um it's important i you know i think also peer pressure is something that's worth addressing um when it comes to drinking we [00:28:26] Jacob: You know nobody likes drinking alone you know it's something i notice when i watch tv shows people like drinking alone on tv shows there's always like the person who's just always slamming a drink or there's there's someone who's always they're able to like manage their stress very quickly with a drink which is probably some brainwashing technique that we fall for but um in real life [00:28:49] Jacob: When a lot of times when we order a drink or order another beer or we want to do a shot or whatever then when the person that's with us doesn't want to do one suddenly we don't want to do one right there's this strange [00:29:02] Jacob: Barrier where we don't want to drink alone because then we feel shame for it but i think that if we can kind of take a look and stop and really assess the awareness of how do i feel right now like do i want another drink cool that's fine yeah i do okay and then if someone else doesn't want to drink with you if they don't want to take another shot with you that's completely their choice you know i think we have a fun you know peer pressure is a funny thing because when it's your friends we'll peer pressure each other and it all seems really fun in games but [00:29:41] Jacob: You know i've i've observed quite a few people who really didn't want another shot that didn't want another drink and the group you know me included i've been a part of this on the other side like come on let's take another one blah where we kind of just give in to that and i think we can all kind of have these we can insert these boundaries where we [00:30:01] Jacob: Don't let anybody persuade us where it's like i hit my drink limit and this is the last that i'm drinking tonight or this is like okay yeah i'll have another beer [00:30:10] Jacob: With you but i'm gonna have a cup of water in between or yeah i'll have another beer with you but i'm gonna set an alarm on my phone to where i'm not driving for another hour or whatever it is i think finding something that's just [00:30:23] Jacob: Specific to you in your life and how you grew up grew up drinking what you drink where you drink who you drink with you know there's not all this perfectly directly right um you know like completely wrong [00:30:37] Jacob: Completely right completely good completely bad we all have our own relationships with alcohol and our addictions and our pulls towards our habits and the things that we've been doing for a long time that we don't really question why we do them or what we get out of them or what we want to get out of them so setting up rules for yourself [00:30:58] Jacob: There's real power in that you know really sticking to your guns and if you have trouble with that if you have trouble saying no if you have trouble like i'm not going to drink and then you get to the party and someone hands you a jello shot and you're like fine okay one jello shot and then all of a sudden you're you know you're buying an 8 ball and you got a trip to vegas you know it happens so just kidding um i think that taking like a 30 day lent or taking um some sort of even two weeks just something with intentionality right something that says i am choosing to do these things no matter [00:31:34] Jacob: What and stick to that **** man we're so caught up our attention spans are so quick our attention spans are so this thing and this thing that we end up just kind of giving into all of our urges at all times we're always just if something comes up we're just like cool i'm going to do that because it's going to feel good right now but feeling good right now doesn't always equate to your best self it doesn't always equate to you know in the end being the person you want to be you know sometimes you'll let yourself down when you just listen to those urges you've got to listen to your kind of higher consciousness versions of yourself not just your lower like let's just get pleasure you know those sort of things so speaking of pleasure i did no masturbation for 30 31 days it was certainly a lot longer than that i think it might have been more like two months i've excuse me i've done i've done no fap as it's [00:32:26] Jacob: Called there's a lot of research on it honestly there's a you can go into a whole YouTube rabbit hole of the different effects of it like a lot of different traditions and religions kind of have their say on these sorts of things i'm not sure which of them i believe i'm not sure which of them feels right i'm not sure which of them resonates with me but i know that for me personally controlling those sexual urges or controlling those urges to masturbate or think about people in that way is incredibly helpful and it actually helped me like really tame the beast in me and i know it's so weird to talk about right and there's not really an area or a world or a comfortable place to listen to anything about masturbation but it's it's a real thing like i'm i masturbate you probably masturbate and it's something not something that we were ever taught you know it's something that's an easy low-hanging urge for us to all fall into um or i've talked here about my opinions on porn um i used to watch porn you know like a lot of us watch porn but i just don't really i don't know it's it's uh i think that it changes our minds in intricate ways i think that it's something that's so new i heard this thing once that was um [00:33:53] Jacob: Nobody you know as far as on the human timeline like how long we've been alive up until the internet came around or maybe just before the internet when we had like porno mags or whatever the only types of types of people who would have access to like this many like you know quote unquote perfect physique [00:34:12] Jacob: Women doing whatever we want in the craziest ways as many as you want to see like you're tricking your brain when you're watching these things like your brain doesn't know the differences if you're actually doing it or not like is the only person who had access to those things before is people like genghis khan like these terrible leaders who would just you know take whatever they want like without consent i'm sure there was like an orgy asking culture that raised pretty supreme for a long time but i don't know man i [00:34:42] Jacob: Just think that when you become really aware of your thoughts we become really aware of your urges when you become really aware of what you're feeling and what your body's telling you and what your mind reacts to and how your mind convinces you of certain things so you can get certain things you really start to notice how often you're thinking kind of head in the gutter right like you're you're treating human beings as kind of just like how you can feel a sexual urge and it's really interesting sitting with that it's really um you know it almost feels it almost feels nasty of you it almost feels [00:35:23] Jacob: It just starts to feel a little wrong after a while um just giving in to every single urge that you have um i think that but once you can kind of gain control once you can kind of tap into it and tame that beast within you kind of grow up and grow up out of it and you know it's dude listen there's nothing wrong with masturbating like the your human body you're given the human body you should explore the crap out of the thing you should you should be just like how you know you should be exploring your consciousness you should be exploring your body what feels good what doesn't feel good explore it in whatever way you want but this world of uh [00:35:59] Jacob: You know pornography and Instagram having just like you know the hashtag will be hashtag pacific northwest and it'll just be like some girl's booty and a thong and it's great right like it's it's badass to see that and it's really cool and like that's we've quickly transformed our culture into just like this body positivity in a form of like you can't shame me i'm gonna sell myself in whatever way like but i think that when we're [00:36:28] Jacob: Constantly seeing on our phones we're scrolling and we're seeing uh you know like half naked women or we're seeing all of our friends in their like most uh vulnerable spots and we're like in the lone spot so it makes you think differently about these things i don't know how that fares for us in the long run as humanity you know um i follow the on reddit [00:36:51] Jacob: While i used to i followed the subreddit that was porn free and oh man if you want to see an interesting side of the world you may not know that exists there's like so there's thousands and thousands of people primarily young men i think who are in this porn free subreddit who you know they'll they'll post like hey i've been uh i've done nofap now for seven months and i feel better than i ever have in my life and i've got control of my life and all these things and i don't masturbate to porn anymore and i don't watch porn anymore blah i started when i was 11 or i started when i was eight or uh i've been masturbating to porn since uh for the last 15 years blah these people who have like all these erectile dysfunctions they have problems with their relationships they have uh just like very false ideas about how sex actually goes um i think that a lot of our a lot of our [00:37:46] Jacob: Urges being like really handed right to us on a platter and really just put in our faces and us never stopping to take control of them especially as men i don't know it changes us around and i think that just kind of coming to terms with controlling those urges and putting some structure around things like masturbation it's helpful and i invite anybody i [00:38:15] Jacob: Know it sounds crazy and i know it's a weird thing to talk about and i'm not even sure if i'm talking about it properly if there's such a thing as talking about masturbation properly but i just want to i guess go over it you know and say that he out exists and my experience with it um no masturbation for the month of october for Sober October um it went well i technically actually two days before on the 29th i technically failed uh i woke up to uh um this is rather embarrassing but [00:38:45] Jacob: I woke up to some wet drawers i had a wet dream situation and it was interesting because i don't even remember some sort of fantasy i don't remember any sort of like wonderful like goddess chick just coming into my dream world and blowing my mind you know like it was i actually woke up from a freaking night terror um which i suffer with quite a bit uh and i woke up just covered in sweat [00:39:12] Jacob: Not feeling good and i was just kind of panicked and my heart was heart rate was going really fast and i had kind of swung out of bed like woke up really quickly and i got up was going out of the bathroom was like what the hell and you know look down and lo and behold you know something had happened so it's interesting what our bodies and what our minds and what our psyche is always trying to get us to do but um uh i will note on that the shame that i felt um i was pissed i was i was mad i was upset i was [00:39:42] Jacob: Discouraged i was like great i just failed my Sober October two days before and i failed it which is an interesting thing because it took me i went back to sleep um changed my clothes whatnot cleaned up went back to sleep and [00:39:57] Jacob: I woke up and realized like that i had been so mad and i texted a friend and had told him and i was like ashamed of myself i was like so mad that i'd failed my Sober October but it was like my unconscious reality that did this it was me in the dream world not even choosing to think these things of course so it was an interesting aspect noting that i made myself feel guilt and shame for [00:40:22] Jacob: Something that really was not in my control there so that's another thing that i that i noticed you know and that's something that if you do any sort of 30 day lengths if you do any sort of um specific guidelines i will or i will not do these things for this set amount of time or this is a value of mine that i no longer part [00:40:41] Jacob: Partake in the same way that i do i don't i don't bend on these things here's my moral structure here is my ethics all these sort of things that we can install within ourself with knowledge [00:40:53] Jacob: It allows you to kind of observe what your mind does when you falter or what your mind does when you have the urges or like how you try to convince yourself that it's okay and then you feel bad about the next day or how you try to justify justifies a great word you know like make our excuses for ourselves um but so me to put a pit in that i guess for me it was just very nice to notice [00:41:21] Jacob: That i made myself feel so ashamed of that you know and then once i woke up in the morning i could i could say oh that's okay man like what you want [00:41:30] Jacob: What you're wanting to do here is make yourself feel shame but when i really analyze the situation like you didn't do anything wrong here and shame is a helpful tool you know guilt is a helpful tool because it tells you like i don't want to be doing that thing again but in this situation i could i could you know kind of insert new thoughts into this thought process of like making myself feel bad for what happened when i was in a dream that [00:41:53] Jacob: Wasn't even a good dream it was a terrifying dream i don't even remember what it was i just know that i woke up feeling terrible and uh night terrors are kind of a normal thing for me so watching that guilt and that shame or watching um you know maybe you're an overeater maybe you're a binge eater which is something that i deal with sometimes as well um like you'll eat just to feel better just to feel that burst and it feels good and then five minutes later you're like you're almost you're almost out loud telling yourself how much you hate yourself it just gets mean quick sometimes so just observe when you do that is this helpful how can i listen to this how can i rephrase these words to myself how can i not only avoid feeling this shame this guilt this whatever my [00:42:37] Jacob: Mind is trying to tell me that i should or shouldn't do how can i how can i work with this right so really listening to those things bringing awareness to those things and asking what they're trying to teach you so i'll go to weed so i did no weed i so situationally i had been smoking a lot and before beginning the breakup process um shane that i had been together for 10 years long time we had a wonderful life we built together and you know we came to this mutual decision that you know we [00:43:17] Jacob: Had run our course which is you know this isn't so much more like i couldn't possibly even try to explain the depth of this incredibly difficult decision um in a quick podcast sentence um and i don't want to dive too [00:43:30] Jacob: Much into it you know these are still wounds that are healing they're not quite scarred so i don't know that my position is on them entirely yet um i would like to wait for me to be stronger and wait to have more scar tissue before i jump into those things but nonetheless i had been smoking quite a bit and it was a fun it was a nice thing i'm very polite to myself when i smoke i enjoy hanging out with myself i enjoy learning more i like to dance and sing around i like to make beats make music i like to draw i like to i love riding after smoking so it just makes me a lot it allows me to be the creative person that i feel that i am without the overly psychoanalytical um overly neurotic um unconfident version of myself kicking in and it helps me with inflammation which is a [00:44:25] Jacob: Huge thing with freaking everything in our food and where i think so many people are inflamed thc and cbd these all help with inflammation a ton it helps me stretch and breathe which helps with inflammation um and it helps with sleep which is a huge thing so sleep for me oh man that was one that was one of the most difficult so when i gave up um i so i had still it was 31 days without smoking but i had tried to slow my smoking [00:44:58] Jacob: And even stop it because i started dealing with when shane and i were going through the breakup and i was just like what the hell is my life what's going on like what am i gonna do next like this house that i'm in at this current second like uh i'm not it's not safe anymore it's not my home anymore like we're moving out of this house now um i started dealing with disassociation very hard um and weed does not uh hold hands well with disassociation sometimes it actually triggers it a lot more if somebody's dealt with that disassociation is something just as a light example or a quick but not like example for victims of rape oftentimes that's kind of what the mind does is like there's this acceptance period of you know saying you know you're being a woman being [00:45:49] Jacob: Pinned down by another by a strong man who she knows i just can't get away from this at some point her brain to protect her from this incredible pain this incredible tear that she's going through will just disassociate which is kind of your you disconnect from physical present five sense reality and you kind of just float away and uh it's this very blank um numb empty open but not comfortable but it's very it's hard to explain but disassociation is something that um something that i that i started dealing with actually a couple weeks before october um and so i had to like kind of [00:46:37] Jacob: Quit on weed there because weed was activating it more and so i was like okay i'm not respecting this plant medicine really as much as i should be so i uh i started taking a slow [00:46:48] Jacob: Wean off that slow break and i just started sleeping terribly instantly like i couldn't get to sleep combination of you know not having the weed that i was used to not having the relaxing thing at the end of the night like i was used to but also just everything going on in my [00:47:02] Jacob: Life my mind was just racing i was trying to figure out what's next what's my future is this the right decision what's going on here you know it's this is these are things that anybody who's gone through these through a breakup or a loss or a big life change any of these you know all this whole life thing is holistic right these all have adverse effects on other things like sleep and food intake and urges and depression and anxiety and blah so weed helped me in a lot of ways and it was really difficult for me to [00:47:36] Jacob: Not smoke and not want that comfort and not want that like gosh i wish i can kind of just shut off my brain and listen to some alan watts or rom das right now and just you know roll around on the ground and stretch because i because i smoked and so i'm not overly thinking and overly analyzing my situation but i didn't have access to that so i had to tough it out um sleep was really **** terrible for the first couple weeks to be honest i'm not entirely sure that was just not having the nightly thc um [00:48:09] Jacob: Or if it was you know that and a combination of just trying to go through large changes in my life right so but i did get used to it [00:48:19] Jacob: Started it started after the first i say two weeks of not having all these things of not having access to all of my vices it was i was never really concerned that i would fall back on them i've built up a pretty resilient strength that's like if i set my mind to this thing i'm gonna do it um and it slowly builds on itself it's this wonderful thing but after the first [00:48:44] Jacob: You know two weeks maybe i started to feel it was this i didn't even give it a thought it's like yeah of course i want that thing but you know i've got 16 more days or i've got 20 more days like cool and so after [00:48:58] Jacob: A while once you really have accepted with yourself i'm not going to do these things it's not an option doesn't matter there's no way i'm going to be tempted to do it to do these things that i gave up because i chose to set myself aside and [00:49:12] Jacob: Set these things aside in my life for right now so i can really enjoy them when they're coming back when i can really use them as a way to enjoy my life and not have them use me to try to squeeze enjoyment out of every second of life you know because life is it can't just be pleasure 24 7. um i don't think anyway [00:49:34] Jacob: Right uh you got to be down to the real world so but it was essentially after the first couple weeks it started allowing me to be excited i started um like oh okay cool 14 more days right on i'm super [00:49:47] Jacob: Pumped yeah i can't wait to i'm gonna i'm gonna hit up so and so and we're gonna go have a beer at this place or um like this coming weekend my friends are taking me to astoria to have a beer and i'm i'm just super excited about it beer and pizza in it but it's something that we scheduled a few weeks ago and i've been looking forward to it but you know something to keep in mind with things that you don't do all the time they become that much more important you know if you had beer and pizza every [00:50:16] Jacob: Single day for a year i feel like the la the latter half of that year you're not going to be super pumped you're not going to be it's not going to be this special thing so you know really noting these things even just our big urge you say you want to eat a piece of chocolate cake [00:50:32] Jacob: But you only want it for a little while you only want it for a small amount you don't want it to last forever it's all about balance if you if you had the taste of chocolate cake in your mouth for you know 10 minutes after you were [00:50:46] Jacob: Already full after a while you'd be like get this taste out of my mouth right you wouldn't want to feel the taste of chocolate cake afterwards so when you can notice these as just feelings notice them as just urges and then you put these mental structures up of i'm not going to indulge in that like i'm going to look forward to the next time that i can but i already decided like oh i had beer twice this week well as much as i want to go have there's always something there's always a party there's always a friend who hits you up there's always um anytime you go to a restaurant like yeah you can add a beer to it yeah you can have them add a margarita to it like should we do a shot all these things there's those that **** always comes up so if it's affecting you in a negative way or it gets a hold of you or you don't make the right decisions or you're spending too much money on it or any of these things set up those structures because when you make it to where like oh i only drink a couple times a month or oh i only smoke a couple times a month you it makes it that much more exciting you become that much more present when you do it in it controls you a lot less [00:51:52] Jacob: And you use you use these substances as a way to just kind of put some sprinkles on a situation that's already very enjoyable like so you don't need these things but they add a little bit to them you know the social lubricant or the self lubricant as it you know comes when it comes to marijuana a lot of people it's a huge thing you know when i started healing really tackling and understanding my depression a couple years back weed was a huge factor for me um it [00:52:24] Jacob: Scared the **** out of me like i didn't actually like it that much the first couple weeks but i kept i was like i want i know this is helping um i'm having a couple glimpses of laughter um uh it's it's sending me into some [00:52:38] Jacob: Sort of some panic attacks but it's sometimes it's making me happy i kept like powering through it and then before long you know i was able to just hang out with myself and just being able to hang out with yourself like not grabbing your phone to escape not trying to connect with someone not seeing what everybody else is doing just sitting with yourself like what do i want to do right now in will i allow myself to actually do [00:53:01] Jacob: It and will i just let myself have these things that i kind of feel like doing you know it sounds weird for a grown man to say they you know smoke weed so you can get [00:53:11] Jacob: By yourself and dance around but there's some healing in that so if you can get yourself to that stage why not you know there's self-love is [00:53:21] Jacob: Far from corny you know it's uh abnormal but it's something that we need to really strive for and really find ways to get um to get nowadays so um i let's see what else yoga i did yoga 20 minutes a day i think that there was there was like two days where i didn't um tally the exact times for yoga but i actually have a pretty good solid meditation in yoga practice as well so yoga every day wasn't that far of a stretch for me but i think there was two days where i was i was incredibly depressed and uh i know there was one time [00:54:06] Jacob: Where i went outside i was doing my morning routine and i didn't make it 10 minutes i was like listening to my motivational videos i had all my workout gear on i was doing my breath work i was you know trying to get a sweat chugging water like all these things but i was just um you know some sometimes my depression disorder whatever just really kicks my [00:54:26] Jacob: Ass and i can't really i ended up literally um i don't know if i got 20 minutes and maybe i stretched for 10 minutes or something but i ended up like going backside i just i had to go back to bed like i just i went back to sleep and i don't like doing that and [00:54:41] Jacob: Like i guess it's what i needed that day but it was very defeating i didn't like it at all i'm usually someone who's able to even if i'm having an incredibly bad depression day i can even like go for a run and like i'll cry when i'm running i don't care as long as i'm getting my body physically moving because i know it **** helps but i had a day or two you know just situationally with all the things going on my life just really activates that depressive side of my psyche so overall the [00:55:09] Jacob: Yoga the stretching uh recommendations for that for other people if you want to take up that habit try stretching before bed instead of um like when you have [00:55:20] Jacob: That urge to get a snack like it's after eight or it's after 7 30 or whatever and like we a lot of us get a snack or we're watching tv or whatever it is um maybe try to replace that with [00:55:30] Jacob: Stretching like while you're watching tv like you know you're kind of actively i'm watching this so i can wind down so it's kind of mindless so i can you know it's the end of my day i'm pretty tired i don't want to do much physical work like you don't have to put yoga pants on and you don't have to like get a gym playlist and you don't have to [00:55:48] Jacob: You know set up all these elaborate things like you could just in your living room push your put your couch back or don't even get off the couch just start moving just start stretching just start just vibing like as you're watching your favorite show just get moving start breathing like breathe into your into your tummy um i think i think before bed yoga helps our body out a lot um add water to it of course and then in [00:56:15] Jacob: The morning as well like right before bed and in the morning i think those are the best times to get any sort of uh routines in so stretching um yoga meditation water [00:56:27] Jacob: All these sorts of things i like to get up out of bed and it's just the first thing that i do is i just start stretching i get up and i lift my arms up real high and i bend down i kind of let my head hang there and i try to get my spinal column moving i try to get this the spinal fluid going in there [00:56:45] Jacob: There's a lot of moves on YouTube don't underestimate me YouTube if you just want to do you know i think we treat yoga and stretching and movement as this workout like it's this thing where you work out and you sweat so you can burn this many calories we just think calories work out gym gear gyms weights like that's what we think about and i think living in 2020 [00:57:10] Jacob: Living in this intricate way for humans like we've really advanced a lot in our we've changed our the biological lifestyle that a human lives in is very different like working out even like you know doing curls like intentionally lifting up heavy weights and setting them back down uh you know 80 [00:57:30] Jacob: Years ago if you saw someone doing that you'd be like what in the hell are you doing you look like so weird but it's something that comes with our lifestyle now we need movement we're no longer you know the thing right after monkeys that are swinging in the trees and we're no longer hunting for days and we're no longer um you know squatting while we're eating you know we have these this comfort these perfect chairs and uh these padded shoes and [00:57:59] Jacob: Um there's so many things that biologically in order to be comfortable we've we've gone against what our bodies do and so now we just need movement and i think that [00:58:11] Jacob: I'm always saying you know if counting calories works for you if counting your steps on your apple watch works for you if filling up your rings works for you if uh you know all these things that get [00:58:23] Jacob: Us to work out if buying the new leggings every month and looking to fly as **** going to the gym is your thing like that's what gets you going like dude hell yeah that's what gets you in there like you're working out that's great but really don't underestimate just falling on the floor and stretching just it doesn't even have to be that long or just looking up on YouTube yoga with adrian i would suggest yoga [00:58:48] Jacob: Beginner yoga none of it's hard none of it you do wrong it's just feeling your own inners your own body getting these things going around it's like yeah maybe you ate less calories but your digestive system isn't working because your muscles are all tight and the water [00:59:03] Jacob: In your body is not moving around and things are inflamed so they're stopping different things in your digestive system from working properly so uh i encourage anybody to you know eat healthy drink your water go to the gym burn your calories like kill it in the gym if that's your thing but anything is better than nothing so stretch before bed if you can or right in the morning when you wake up or [00:59:27] Jacob: Just make it a habit through the day you know just as you're watching tv like every hour or every half hour every time uh it switches shows maybe just get up and start kind of stretching your neck like you could still be watching the tv start stretching your arms start moving your legs like you don't have to follow an exact routine you don't have to break a sweat you have to go put on that freaking nike headband just move it's very important nowadays to what humans are is movement so i think um did i go over social media use um yeah i felt [01:00:08] Jacob: I know that i mentioned that i felt lonely without social media and that was very true um not having someone you know being a relationship for 10 years and not having the same person that you normally text just about everything you know you're just like it's just your best friend you just talk to him all the time you don't even think about it you just pull your phone out and you talk to him that's just something that happens nowadays you know humans haven't had phones and magical [01:00:31] Jacob: Rectangles in our pockets our whole life like instant access to whoever we want to see at all times or whoever we want to talk to or whatever we want to say to whoever we have in our lives to say it to that's a pretty **** new thing like we fairly new so noticing uh you know the [01:00:51] Jacob: Comforts that we get from that you know yeah like how often um i'd have quite a few friends kind of texting me checking in on me like you know just wanted to make sure i'm doing great good and i'm so grateful for that and there i have some wonderful people in my life um but just i really what i noticed without social media again is that it gives me extreme comfort [01:01:14] Jacob: You know when you're in an awkward position or you're feeling lonely or um you're in a position where you think people are looking at you or you're in a public place or you're [01:01:25] Jacob: Waiting somewhere or you're on the toilet like before things even start going on down there i feel like my phone's already in my hand it's just a habitual thing so just as when we walk outside to the car every day we don't think about how put hand to handle grip handle pull with left arm bend at [01:01:47] Jacob: Left elbow step to the right side so we can get out of the way for our door get in cart like we don't think about those things they're just habitual we just to when you go outside to go to work you just go get in your damn car and you drive but there's a lot of small processes that happen in between there and we can bring awareness to those things so your phone when you're sitting there and you're trying to be present or you're watching something or you're with people or you're waiting or you're walking to [01:02:16] Jacob: Or from somewhere or you just get in your car you just get off a phone call all these instances in our life where we don't really think about it we don't bring awareness to ourselves we don't bring um awareness to the situation or what we're actually doing but before you know it you're just scrolling you're just looking through your phone and a lot of that is kind of our let's see our character identity kind of avoiding discomfort avoiding pain avoiding boredom our inability to sit with ourself is uh a problem [01:02:52] Jacob: It's a problem um as someone who's been i've been very addicted to social media before um i still have it like i still i notice myself like i check these things i like being in contact with people i like having cool conversations i like seeing things that people are talking about i um i like attention from it i'm very something that i had to come [01:03:14] Jacob: To terms with a couple years back i was like holy **** i am obsessed with other people's approval i love other people's approval i really want people to tell me what i'm doing is wonderful i really want people to tell me what i'm doing is original you know or even just [01:03:33] Jacob: The really low hanging stuff like you know i want to be told that i'm good looking i want to be told that i'm hot you know all this **** that is so normal in the human brain because of our culture um but [01:03:48] Jacob: We let it control our actions a lot and i just i don't know if that's what's best for our life in the long run you know we're we're gonna die one day you know this life is life because [01:04:01] Jacob: There's death um this wonderful thing we have here i don't think we should just fill it with trying to get as many dopamine hits as we can all the time um if you've watched the social dilemma on netflix i've recommended that multiple times tristan harris is kind of one of the leaders of that but uh it kind of uh explains to you um in it explains to us how we're manipulated and controlled and um we are we are the data being sold back to us our attention is a currency um and it's it's almost this unfair thing that's happened to us with social media and i think bringing awareness to it um bringing it to our consciousness like [01:04:55] Jacob: In front of us like wait okay i pulled up my phone and i was just scrolling like why did i do that not to make ourselves feel bad not to feel ashamed not to feel like we're weird and alone but i think so many of us don't understand exactly what we're trying to get out of these things um like why is it that we spend so long uh editing our face or getting rid of all of our blemishes or [01:05:25] Jacob: Um taking 25 photos so we can pick the best one you know there's a lot of this stuff that's super fun like social media and having cameras in our pockets at all times taking snapshots of our life like it's so cool it really is one of the most incredible things in filters and uh photo editing software at [01:05:46] Jacob: Your fingertips like i enjoy the crap out of this stuff it's so cool but what is it doing to my internal like what is it doing to my confidence what isn't making me think about myself um i had a podcast guess my friend ricky nevereddy who's a who's a power lifter competitive power lifter and we're talking about ego lifting and i used to always work out i loved working out um but i feel like the last the last couple years before i kind of like stopped hitting like the weights so hard and i started getting more into yoga and kind of staying at home doing more running i was [01:06:20] Jacob: Doing a lot of ego lifting i was essentially like i didn't feel good about myself so i went into the gym i would drink pre-workout so i can get that pump pre-workout really makes you get like a pump in your muscles especially the ones are working and i would by the time i left the gym [01:06:35] Jacob: When i looked in the mirror i was like excited because i'm like okay i look i look tight now i look strong my muscles look big i look pumped up my posture is better all this stuff i felt confident when i left the gym so i was basically trying to get like this ego pump like just make my make myself feel good about myself not [01:06:53] Jacob: In a i came to the gym and i did my work and i'm proud of myself for the work but it was this uh affirmation towards myself for my physique and you know that's that's a part of our brains it truly is but i think that's also worth taking a look at um i think when we're putting our highlight reels out when we're putting our best self out all the time [01:07:24] Jacob: It's interesting what that does to us it's interesting what that does inevitably to make us compare ourselves to other people um it's interesting how we how we think about other people who aren't up to that comparison in our eyes um it's interesting like [01:07:41] Jacob: Looking at photos of ourselves and saying uh or um we look at a photo and we instantly look for our flaws like i'll you know instantly look like oh do i have any acne in that photo or [01:07:53] Jacob: Like when i had more weight one thing i would do when i would see like photo like we take group photo when it's when a photo is just like hey i'm having fun with my friends let's get a snapshot to remember this **** that's what a photo is inherently right but when you end up taking a bunch of photos and immediately everybody who looks at the photo we will crowd around the phone to look at it and we all just look for our flaws like i look kind of fat in that one and then we kind of adjust our shirt or oh my god my nose looks so big in that or uh oh that color doesn't look good on me or oh my skin tone next to my friend's skin tone looks shitty like what is that doing to us what is that doing to our to our personality and our character traits and is that good is that healthy is that something that we would want for our children is that something we would want for younger kids to grow up and like really not comprehend that they're doing i think when you can bring awareness to all these things so quitting social media for a month or [01:08:45] Jacob: Taking up the break from these apps for a month um turning off notifications that's a huge one i did that many years ago and that's that's something that i still when people have notifications on still it actually catches me off guard i'm like oh **** i forgot that not everybody like people still use notifications uh because it's just it constantly pulls us out of our day i think there's a balance i think there's there is a way of enjoying it but i think if you begin to notice how split our attention spans are you know a lot of people identify with having ADHD now and i think actually at this point [01:09:20] Jacob: Our relationships with our phones and social media and entertainment has actually created ADHD and a majority of our like young technological minds um or what we would call ADHD rather what we identify as and say [01:09:36] Jacob: Our attention span we can't focus or blah and it's just part of us now we just brush it off like we don't think twice about it but it's actually very important to be able to pay attention to things and be able to focus on things and be able to not just passively consume everything but sometimes be able to focus and actively consume new information but taking a break from social media is it's great i definitely feel that next year if i do Sober October again i feel like i will certainly do that it helps me i'm back on social media [01:10:15] Jacob: Now i feel like i've uh the first couple days it's funny because it was my birthday um two days ago and so i was i was i was [01:10:23] Jacob: Back into it but i was just like let dude let yourself just whenever you feel like pulling out your phone like you're getting messages all day on these on these platforms on you getting texts whatever like let yourself pull it out and like just read that and really try to just feel what your friends are telling you and people in all these wonderful people wishing you happy birthday i really tried to just like let myself rip you know like oh my phone uh my text message went off so i had a notification or like check Instagram or whatever it is like every 10 minutes if i had the time you know not every 10 minutes but i let myself [01:11:01] Jacob: Rip so to say and it was really enjoyable um and i think that's good for days like birthdays where you just like no limits or maybe it's your day off you're like dude i'm just gonna like just as where we would binge watch netflix you know like maybe there's some days where you're like it's sunday i'm just gonna i'm gonna **** hang out on my phone today i'm just gonna enjoy the coolness of social media i'm just gonna enjoy whatever YouTube algorithms have for me to play next i'm going to read a bunch of articles i'm going to whatever notice that it will make you actually kind of weirdly exhausted if you did do that all day but setting [01:11:36] Jacob: Boundaries maybe setting one day a week where you let yourself almost like a cheat day with your phone and you just allow yourself to lay in bed and do it or even just set limits around i [01:11:47] Jacob: Never allow myself to check the social media while i'm in bed maybe that's what's going to work for you maybe you try that for 30 days and you realize that it makes you care a lot less about the political nonsense going on maybe you don't allow notifications go [01:12:00] Jacob: Directly to your to your screen maybe you don't touch your phone for the first hour of the day you don't read any news for the first hour of the day our whole our whole society has really been changed and formed and morphed by uh social media and not just social [01:12:19] Jacob: Media like what social media has done we've got to look at what it does to what the human being is like if you're an alien who's hovering in a spaceship above the earth and you've been kind of watching humans for the last couple hundred years and you realize like what's something that has changed everything that they do and how they [01:12:37] Jacob: Interact with one another um what they think about like if you're in the alien ship and you're able to somehow see every human being's thoughts whether it's about themselves or other people or about what they're doing or how often they're not in the present moment because they're just thinking or arguing these things in their brain uh i think that if you look at social media it's very much changed this whole thing here it's the human experience has been vastly morphed and flipped around and sped up and just gotten weirdo because of social media just what it has done to our culture to [01:13:19] Jacob: Our civilization i mean i guess you could even say what the internet has done now that we've had a couple years you know quite a few years of the internet i'm not even that long iphone came out 2007. that's just something to think about [01:13:34] Jacob: I guess asking yourself when you pull out social media when you're posting when you're doing these things like why am i doing this like why am i really doing this and you don't have to tell other people you don't have to go on a podcast and talk about your insecurities about it you could just really ask yourself like huh does this actually make me feel better or does this just kind of like is this kind of just like what a smoker gets out of a cigarette like where you know a lot of cigarette smokers they don't like that they smoke they insult themselves every time when they smoke not all of them but a lot of times they're like yeah i know it sucks i know it gives me cancer but here i am her like are you doing that with social media are you doing that with your non-movement practices [01:14:14] Jacob: Are you doing that with your water intake like is it a popular thing for you to hate water which you know is that part of your identity um covering up the things that are killing us um and just joking them off i don't know i've began kind of like trying to fight my urges and began trying to control them [01:14:40] Jacob: Or try to work with them you know like i'm a human being and i have urges and i have addictions and i have um i have habits and i have things that like you know maybe i wish i [01:14:53] Jacob: Had better control of but i don't have to completely just bow down to them i can take a grip i can grab them by the horns and get a little bit stronger little by little by just trying you know trying to change i think that we grow up in this world especially in the western culture and there's this weird thing that we [01:15:14] Jacob: Don't realize is there that says once you're done with high school if you don't go to college or uh after you're done with any sort of schooling like that's who you are that's this is who you are you're done you're just gonna live that out instead of learning to change like you can really [01:15:33] Jacob: Change everything about yourself like you could change you could slowly become aware of your habits and then ask yourself is this a habit that i want to take with me is this a habit that i want to go on for the next 60 70 years of my life is this habit beneficial for me why did i get this habit what does this habit bring me is it beneficial to me where did i learn that this is what i should be doing who in my life when i was younger did this thing around me that made it okay um what how does this make me feel the next day not only the night of you know so i think just blues dreaming uh just be becoming aware of our habits becoming aware of our addictions um two more things i'll round this up i know this video is getting pretty long um but my running goal uh i my running goal was to run five times a week and i think that i pretty much hit it um [01:16:40] Jacob: I don't know if i can consistently did like you know monday through friday then i take saturday sunday off but there was times where i did run seven days in a row eight days in a row and i would take like two sometimes three days off um just uh just you know trying to [01:16:55] Jacob: Muster up sometimes i go too extreme which is something that's that's good to know something one more thing i learned a little bit more about myself is sometimes there's too much that we put on ourselves so i was able to get my running goals in i'm feeling great i've really enjoyed running and it starts to populate like what can i do with this running thing i've always ran these i've like these spar spartan races uh warrior dash um like all the like the 5k or five [01:17:23] Jacob: Mile runs or the eight mile runs whatever it is i've i really enjoy those and i haven't done those in the last couple years i've kept active and kept running i like outdoor running i really love trail running like going up on a hike somewhere and running through the trails there it's fantastic um but so when you [01:17:44] Jacob: There's this gift you can give yourself when you stick to something like when you're like running every day it starts becoming your identity you're like oh i guess i am a runner now and then if you're someone like me like my head is always in the future and i'm visiting the now right so my head is always like what can i do with this like what do i want to do like what how can i one-up this thing and so i noticed i really started giving it to myself more as i was running more and more every day i was like man i am a runner and like i can actually run a pretty good distance and you know i wouldn't mind running a barefoot marathon or i wouldn't mind running um a marathon in general like i haven't done a marathon i've done these other races but i've never done a marathon or like i wonder if i could run 100 miles in a [01:18:29] Jacob: Week or you know you start allowing yourself to set these like cool goals that if you completed them they would feel really good and then you allow yourself to start thinking about them through the day like even when you're not running so it's almost when you have discipline to do these things little by little it starts opening up these things in your psyche to where you can kind of daydream and actually allow yourself to grab those daydreams and say like oh **** i can actually do that thing um it's it's this little trick to self-belief you know believing in yourself is one of the more powerful things [01:19:04] Jacob: You can really accomplish a lot you can really start allowing yourself to have times for these things in your mind to think about like having time for yourself to write down certain things like i want to accomplish this within the next five years and then when you start little by little actually doing steps towards it you start really saying man i wonder if i can really do this thing you know anybody who's ever accomplished anything great they had to believe in themselves so don't allow the believe in yourself or love yourself or shoot for the shoot [01:19:34] Jacob: For the stars like all that all those sort of catch phrases and stuff don't allow those to be corny don't allow those to be like lame don't allow being happy and having self belief to be something that's like for other people like that's something that the motivational like weird self-love hippy-dippy people do [01:19:52] Jacob: Like no man you're a human you've got to allow yourself to have the thoughts of what you want your future to be and you can start taking steps towards those goals so [01:20:02] Jacob: The one thing that i did of course i waited till the end maybe i thought i was going to forget this one thing that i would that i certainly say um i don't know if failed is that is the correct word maybe i'll dissect that but i did not complete my writing goal i had the first few days i had a lot of good momentum i sat down and i wrote a few pages um i wrote oh man it was probably like five [01:20:25] Jacob: Days but then i just i started not getting it i started i was just too tired for my morning my other the rest of my morning routine and i would come in and i would just like just be exhausted i wouldn't have a lot of mental energy left and i would i was dealing with some depression and like you know this heartbreak situation that i'm trying to navigate through so i'll just be overly exhausted from thinking too much about it and uh and i didn't complete my goals [01:20:51] Jacob: And i just moved into this new space and so i was trying to i wanted the writing goal because i was trying to create a habit of like well this is just what i do like the last step in my morning routine when i come back into this room i sit at this desk over here that's not my regular desk like i have this is my like audio creation like uh [01:21:12] Jacob: You know music making djing desk then i have a whole other desk that i set up that has all my paperwork and all of my writing and all my poetry and all that stuff so i was hoping to have the goal or have the habit built of every day i [01:21:26] Jacob: Write something like even if it's garbage even if it's just positive affirmations because that's all my brain has today just get it done but i did not complete that task that is something that was interesting i had a couple days where i wrote a good amount outside of so the first four or five days whatever it was i did good and then after that i only had a couple days of uh really getting any [01:21:50] Jacob: Sort of writing done other than that it was something i ended up like neglecting like i stopped even like thinking about it like i almost allowed myself to accept the defeat like [01:22:00] Jacob: I guess i'm not doing that goal so that's a bummer um i've been trying not to make myself feel too much shame about it and i know that i get too extreme sometimes which that happens to a lot of us um so that's a goal that i want to [01:22:15] Jacob: Not give up on though because i really enjoy writing um it makes me feel fulfilled it makes me feel like my thoughts are getting out there it makes me feel a little more sane i [01:22:24] Jacob: Know it's it's just beneficial in so many ways like there's all these different aspects of writing i did continue to take i'm just someone who has always taken notes in my phone i have if i ever die and you want some good weird guy content just go through my phone and look through my notes and i have hundreds and hundreds of pages of just ideas and poetry and uh things that i want for my future and affirmations and all these things so i was able to write on my phone a little bit um but anybody else who wants to um who wants to partake in writing uh if you want to make that a habit you know just do it just try it [01:23:05] Jacob: You know try it for a week try it for five days try it for every wednesday you have an alarm that goes off at 7 35 a.m and it says write one paragraph or write one thing that you enjoyed doing or even just a habit of writing your [01:23:24] Jacob: Daily schedule like wake up and say what do i want to accomplish today or wake up and say what do i want to accomplish tomorrow and so you're always a step ahead so these are all important tools important tactics um i am certainly going to continue going forth with trying to get myself to write a little bit more and rebuild that habit here in the new house my old place i wrote a shitload but it's [01:23:48] Jacob: Something that i got to rebuild because i'm in a new environment right i'm in a new space i'm in a new headspace i'm in a new life it feels like so i've [01:23:56] Jacob: Got to get those habits going i'm going to work on that i'm going to continue to drink as close to a gallon a day as possible i'm not going to get light with myself from that i've been doing a lot of yoga i've been running a lot still i think that doing this for 30 days really helped me just start to have my identity lean more [01:24:16] Jacob: Into it like this is just something that i do and our personality is our personal reality right you know we habitually do all these things and that's they become who we are we [01:24:30] Jacob: Aren't just who we are we're born exactly this one person and we're just acting that out no like you can set intention and you can set uh boundaries up for yourself and you can really it's almost like hacking evolution right evolution is always going towards this one this one thing like [01:24:57] Jacob: We for so long it was our goal to just survive like survival of the fittest like make sure we're not getting killed by the lions um make sure we're like we're able [01:25:08] Jacob: We have thumbs and so we can make spears and we can hunt however any fish we need to just survive for so many years and now we're kind of at this incredible place for humanity and in [01:25:22] Jacob: What we are to where we don't just have to survive i mean more people die from obesity now than starving like really think about that but also more people die from suicide now than ever in the if more people die from suicide [01:25:38] Jacob: Than homicide so i think we need to take a look at what we are and what we're doing and what we're thinking about and how we get to those places like suicide and how we get to places like defeat and how we become how we become something that just [01:25:51] Jacob: Continues to go about our habits and our default mode network and never really changes and never really gets out of those divots in our brain you know neuroplasticity is real you can create who you want to be little by little by just making incremental changes um so i guess i'll i'll round it out i think i covered everything um i'm looking forward to the next one next Sober October um i if anybody wants to participate i know [01:26:22] Jacob: It's a long way right away but you know hit me up around the time we could do a big group i really appreciate everybody else who hopped on there with me in their own ways i did what worked for me in my life um i've been drinking from a young age i've been smoking for a long time um i've been um uh you know all these things that i basically what i'm saying is i chose [01:26:52] Jacob: Things that really seemed specific to me and i chose where i'm at with them you know if this was like right at the if this was three years ago this would have been way too extreme i think i would have failed like all the goals but now i've slowly built up this resilience i've slowly built up these habit these habits and i've slowly built up my strength and my ability to like have positive self-talk and work on myself [01:27:17] Jacob: And really believe like i could stick to my guns here like i got this i made the decision that i'm not going to do this thing for 31 days so it's not going to **** happen for 31 days and really sticking to it um so i invite you to pick a month pick a friend that like really 100 like it's not an [01:27:36] Jacob: Option we're not slipping up on this no **** matter what pick a friend your spouse your sister your mom even like whatever whoever is in your life who you're like hey you want to try this thing where we just do this or don't do this for 30 days for one month or two weeks even just stick to something and don't bend on it uh it could literally be a i'm not gonna eat a dairy product for the month of december i'm not going to have more than one glass of wine a night for the month of december i'm not going to uh you know i'm not going to neglect my body for this like try to get very specific with yourself like something that is a yes or no a pass or fail write it down give in to it like just do it just [01:28:33] Jacob: Believe that you can do it and stick to it i think there's real strength in these um at the end of my 31 day Sober October i felt great honestly i felt powerful i felt strong i was actually very proud of myself um i felt my body felt really good my uh my trust in my own psyche felt really good you know i'm someone when you deal with uh you know like major depressive disorder and uh you know i used to kind of have like what we would call ADHD ocd just these like intense thoughts where i just get caught and obsessively start thinking about things on in loops it really helps me identify less with my [01:29:22] Jacob: Faults it helps me identify less with like the things that are like well these are the shitty things about my brain and i guess i gotta deal with them and that's who i am forever and it helps you really have faith that [01:29:33] Jacob: Oh i could like i could heal myself of all this stuff i could get better in this way i could make this part of myself better i could actually accomplish that crazy task that i want to accomplish so there's really something about it um uh i guess i guess we'll end it we'll round it up here um discipline equals freedom um that's the thing that there's there's power in all of this stuff um you know when you're when you're a slave to the things that you set up for yourself it's a lot better than being a slave to your random urges or you know um just thinking like a boy all the time or just being a brat all the time there's nothing to be ashamed of if you don't have control of all of your habits and urges but there is strength and real just badassness ahead of you if you can grab it by the horns um yeah i think that's it [01:30:40] Jacob: I appreciate you guys listening to the podcast if you had any questions about my Sober October or you have any questions about anything that i mentioned today i'm i like to you know i really try to value authenticity when it comes to this podcast i really try to be open and transparent and try to try to talk about things that people may be thinking but they don't know their thinking i'm just trying to expand who we are and expand what we are and you know i want to help people save themselves from themselves you know i've suffered a lot of this crap myself i've suffered my own mind in many ways for many years and there's real freedom when you take discipline in when you start trying to insert your own morals and values and ethics and just getting better and improving and evolving into the best versions of yourself so self-actualization for all i believe in you please stretch a little bit breathe from only your nose close your mouth try to be more conscious breathe slower stretch more drink more water again [01:31:54] Jacob: And just love yourself man so i'll see you guys later hit me up if you have any questions add me on Instagram jacobfromtheinternet send me a message on there that's probably where i'm the most active if you have any questions this will probably be on YouTube as well you can comment on there if you have any ideas for the future of the Junkyard Love Podcast or um guests that you think may be good [01:32:19] Jacob: I'm open to uh the possibilities there so we're getting up there in numbers and i'm getting better and better at the podcast thing i'd say so i'm getting to where i'm uh more confident in allowing myself to get a little bit bigger guests a little bit um more known guests with a little more [01:32:39] Jacob: Popularity so lots of cool things to come in the month of november a couple new guests and some more following then so take care of yourself listeners if you did enjoy the podcast or you are enjoying the podcast or you like these conversations or you want to hear more please like comment subscribe put it on the thumb drive and put it in your neighbor's mailbox or send it to your dad just share it i appreciate it take care uh knowledge is power you