# The JYLP Episode 065 with Josh Gebhardt - It's Open Mic Night For Being Yourself

- Episode: 0065
- Date: 2021-01-29
- Duration: 1:17:55 (4675s)
- Guest: [Josh Gebhardt](/guests/josh-gebhardt/)
- YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ybdtawpUGes
- RSS: https://share.transistor.fm/s/b248993c
- Audio: https://2.gum.fm/op3.dev/e/pdcn.co/e/pscrb.fm/rss/p/pdst.fm/e/dts.podtrac.com/redirect.mp3/media.transistor.fm/b248993c/7695dc0f.mp3

## About

Josh Gebhardt is a successful Director Of Sales at a large business and travel expense management company based in the Pacific Northwest. Since I've known him, Josh has exuded flair and confidence - and in this episode, I attempt to draw a deeper understanding on how he placed himself in the positions he is in, and how he built up such inspiring levels of authenticity, confidence, and action in the face of adversity. Mr. Gebhardt intertwines his work with purpose and fulfillment and sparks interior lights of self-belief in others by simply exuding his genuine self. Josh talks being one of the only people in the room without a college degree, creating a brotherhood environment amongst co-workers, pushing social limits, expanding comfort zones, removing barriers with action, and being confident in his sexuality. We talk being 'liked' and magnetic to the right types of people, balancing different aspects of our personalities, the influence of social media on our behaviors, attracting certain types of relationships and friends, chasing wrong connections, showing vulnerability, and the difficulty of "trying" to be authentic all the time. Josh questions me on some of my influences as an artist, and we talk about our past experiences with music, singing, festivals, twelve dollar beers, and dancing our faces off. I hope you find some value in mining the heart and mind of the wonderful Josh Gebhardt - as I know I sure did. If you enjoyed this episode - consider hitting like, following or sharing with a friend. Any interaction helps more people hear the podcast, which hopefully, in turn, helps individuals love themself more deeply. Checkout Josh's feed on instagram @joshgeb and we'll see you next episode. Thanks for listening.

## Chapters

(none published in episode notes)

## Quotes

- "I was always able to be 100% myself, My family always made me feel like I could do anything I wanted to do." — Josh Gebhardt
- "I had the chance to be myself without any baggage of who you think you are, or the way you grow up, or who you're around, or pressures of hurting the people around you by being your authentic self." — Josh Gebhardt
- "I would prep, I would give myself a pep talk on the way in the car - I'd be like 'Ok you're gonna go to the bar, you're going by yourself, you don't have a single friend, you don't know a single person in L.A. - you have to go and have the ability to start a conversation with someone face to face - and so I would do that, just go to the bar and approach people." — Josh Gebhardt

## Guest links

(none published in episode notes)

## Archive picks

Extracted from the YouTube auto-caption transcript and published About/quotes already on this episode. Labeled separately from Jacob’s published About / Chapters / Quotes / Hashtags.

## Memorable quotes

- [00:38:05] Josh: “Always laughing and I was always able to be 100 myself And we like my like my family my sisters my Mom my dad they always made me”
- [00:15:19] Josh: “Give myself a pep talk on the way like in the car and i'd be like okay you're gonna go to the bar you're going by yourself you”
- [00:10:24] Josh: “create like a really strong brotherhood where we stay in touch after we work together for a long time so um it's a i don't know it's just”
- [00:24:47] Josh: “this book um Called The Velvet Rage which i really recommend um it's about growing up gay basically in like you know like a hetero world um and”
- [00:14:22] Josh: “Really being open with my sexuality for the first time but it was the first time that i felt comfortable doing so because i wasn't home right like”
- [00:55:22] Jacob: “it's not always like When you go out to an open mic night or a karaoke bar it's not always like i'm gonna go hear someone who's better”
- [01:10:53] Josh: “matter i think you know I think the world needs More like openness to Understanding like i think that what you know i think right now everyone is”
- [01:14:42] Josh: “um kind of but um No I am humbled to be part of this i think you know you are a really special person and i know you're”
- [01:15:29] Josh: “feel like it gives me permission to be my authentic self too and that's why i've always been drawn to you guys since we all first met um”
- [01:17:01] Jacob: “you soon bye right Hey guys i hope you enjoyed the episode If you could hit like subscribe follow share leave a comment send to one of your”

## Chapter-style timestamps

- [00:00:06](#t-00-00-06) — Opening bumper — Junkyard Love
- [00:01:51](#t-00-01-51) — What have you been up to
- [00:02:49](#t-00-02-49) — Director of sales / pivoting travel
- [00:06:46](#t-00-06-46) — Self-confidence & purpose
- [00:10:24](#t-00-10-24) — Brotherhood at work
- [00:11:51](#t-00-11-51) — Without a college degree
- [00:14:22](#t-00-14-22) — Open with sexuality / LA assignment
- [00:15:19](#t-00-15-19) — Pep talk / approaching people at bars
- [00:21:20](#t-00-21-20) — Social media & authenticity
- [00:24:47](#t-00-24-47) — The Velvet Rage
- [00:36:43](#t-00-36-43) — Family support / being yourself
- [00:39:33](#t-00-39-33) — Orion Youth Center / LGBTQ youth
- [00:53:56](#t-00-53-56) — Missing dancing / Galentine's
- [00:55:22](#t-00-55-22) — Open mic night for being yourself
- [01:02:16](#t-01-02-16) — Festivals — Ultra / Coachella
- [01:10:42](#t-01-10-42) — What does the world need more of?
- [01:14:42](#t-01-14-42) — Close — gratitude / authentic selves
- [01:17:01](#t-01-17-01) — Outro CTA

## Keywords

Josh Gebhardt, Junkyard Love Podcast episode 0065, JYLP 0065, It's Open Mic Night For Being Yourself, authenticity, self-belief, Director of Sales, college degree, brotherhood, sexuality, pep talk, The Velvet Rage, social media, festivals, Coachella, open mic, @joshgeb, Jacob Rhines

## Hashtags

#JoshGebhardt #JYLP0065 #JunkyardLove #OpenMicNight #BeingYourself #Authenticity #SelfBelief #TheVelvetRage #Brotherhood #Festivals #Coachella #JoshGeb #JYLP

## Short guest bio (from episode speech + published About/links)

Josh Gebhardt is a successful Director Of Sales at a large business and travel expense management company based in the Pacific Northwest (from the published episode notes; Instagram @joshgeb). On Junkyard Love episode 0065 he and Jacob talk authenticity and confidence, being one of the only people in the room without a college degree, brotherhood at work, sexuality and expanding comfort zones, social media, The Velvet Rage, festivals and dancing, and treating life like open mic night for being yourself.

## Transcript

[00:00:06] Jacob: Hello and welcome to the Junkyard Love Podcast At what age do we learn how to have Better conversations At what age do we learn to have better conversations with ourselves Me Knowledge is power Excellent ladies and gentlemen welcome to the Junkyard Love podcast Today i'm here with Josh Gebhardt Hello josh how are you today buddy hey i'm good

[00:01:06] Josh: Thanks for having me on yeah

[00:01:06] Jacob: I'm super pumped that you agreed to come on i am i mean i've been friends with you guys for a while but i just i downright admire you guys i mean you guys as in you and your sisters and your friend group um we all met up at uh we met at a music Festival what was like 2012 or 13 or something

[00:01:35] Josh: A while back for sure it's been many years yeah

[00:01:35] Jacob: So i mean i always i feel like we just we've had so many good times together um so yeah i really appreciate you agreeing to come on and kind of just bs with me today josh

[00:01:35] Josh: Awesome I'm excited to be here

[00:01:51] Jacob: Um Let's just start with like what have you been up to the last year or so you know obviously everybody's lives have changed pretty dramatically in many ways um since COVID and whatnot So what's your what's your like last year been looking like what you been doing

[00:02:01] Josh: Yeah i would say last year um you know despite as crazy as it was and all of the you know bad stuff going on and i think for me personally it was a really good year um i um bought a house um with my Partner recently so that's been really exciting being a first-time homebuyer and so a lot of our focus was preparing For that obviously financially and we did that right before the end of the year so a lot of the year was preparing for that so i think um having everything on lockdown was a positive for me because i wasn't spending money on traveling or going out all the time so um for me that was a good that was good to help me get to my goal faster of getting into a house um and then now that we've been in here we're just really focusing on new furniture and decorating and all that stuff so um that occupies most of my time i would Say um and then career-wise i had a successful year i mean

[00:02:49] Josh: I'm a director of sales at a software company and um despite all the things that were thrown at us um we sell travel solutions to companies and so obviously no one was traveling so there was a lot of um a lot of having to Really like adapt and pivot and really show kind of resiliency in terms of how we approached how we were going to get to our numbers and um i was really happy i got you know five out of the excuse me four of the six people that worked for me got promoted this year so anytime as a leader you're able to help people kind of get to that next step um and their career is really exciting so i'm happy to help them get there and um i finished you know um achieving president's club despite how crazy the year was so um a lot to be proud of and a lot to be really appreciative and grateful of um as well so a lot of turmoil kind of like all around us but i think you know was able to um you know

[00:03:42] Josh: Kind of you know find my way through it i guess right

[00:03:42] Jacob: I mean huge congrats on the house

[00:04:18] Josh: Will be um it's supposed to be in mexico um next year so we'll see how that goes and if we're able to go but um it's more so just for like the pride of achieving it basically just trying to finish in the top you know group of all the salespeople or sales leaders and so um it's kind of like what you fight for all year so it's um kind of a benchmark of if you had a successful year right okay i know you've worked you've worked for this company for quite a while now how many years is it um over eight years now which is so crazy so i think when we first met i think i was like really newly working there um when we first met so i Think i was around the same time or maybe in the first two years of being here i feel like i remember you always killing it at this job though like you've just been hitting the ground running since the beginning yeah i mean i've had a really successful

[00:05:01] Josh: Here and really like grateful for that um and it's kind of interesting i think kind of like ties into some of the stuff that we thought we might discuss today too is i think you know for me My job and my career has really served As like a really important part of Um just like my self-confidence and how I think about myself i really found like i think purpose also in it and which is interesting to find purpose in a corporate job um Where it can be very not purposeful or not purpose driven um and i think that go like the purpose that i found in this number one i found something that i think i was naturally good at and have a natural kind of you know tendency just to excel at which obviously when you find something that you do well i think it helps you feel better about yourself right when you when you experience success um but then being there for so many years and transitioning into a leadership role and leading others I love now getting to guide or support Or aid other people and them finding

[00:05:59] Josh: Their native genius or what their strengths are i'm in their job in helping them exceed or excel and build up their confidence and then help kind of send them off to the next point in their career um and specifically the part of the market that we sell into um because we sell the small businesses we're typically working with people who it's like their first or second job out of college they probably don't have a lot of kind of professional experience maybe they've done an internship or they have some entry-level kind of experience but they've never really done a true formal quota caring sales job and so i love that part of my job because every two three years i'm kind of turning over the team it's new people so it's constantly changing but i think that's such an important part of someone's life they're a young adult entering the corporate workforce or getting their first you know kind of really a real adult job and so um that's where i find like the purposeful part of what i do and that

[00:06:46] Josh: Like fulfills me where like i could just you know obviously hitting a number and making money is great but like that's the part of my job where i really like get my joy from i guess if that makes sense yeah no dude i really like that i really so i want to talk about purpose for sure but i think um Something that i notice about you just by being a friend i haven't worked with you in this environment but i think that um because i had wanted to talk to you about your own self-confidence like your own belief in yourself and um it's ecstatic it's like a

[00:07:13] Jacob: You have a good ability to actually like allow other people to bring out the confidence in themselves just by you being your authentic self um And i can imagine i love how you tie that into like it's purposeful you know you're actually you're stepping in the role of the leader and you get to train these people you get to teach them what you've Been through so i love that but uh as Far as purpose i think that's an interesting one because i me as a like i identify as a creator A lot or just like an artistic person um And i find trouble i have trouble Finding purpose in things that aren't like my own art it's like this weird selfish gets in my own way sort of Thing but it's hard for me to apply um purpose to like working for another company or working doing something for someone else this totally sounds selfish but um i think that's could we Can we expand more on that like what do you mean by purpose what does it really feel like to you

[00:08:10] Josh: Yeah i think um you know you bring up a great point i think it is hard to know like working in my industry to you it's like i could say well i feel that i have you know the skills and the talents i could go you know start my own company i could be an entrepreneur i could start a business tomorrow or create a startup or have an idea you know um but i think number one what you do takes a lot more courage than something like what i do right because i kind of tore the line of i could go do those things they could take those risks but do i have the courage to really do it so um you know i think that's what it makes everyone really interested in dynamics like i respect that quality in you so much um but what i mean by purpose is

[00:08:51] Josh: I think that um at the point in someone's career that i get the opportunity to work with them as i do think that is so pivotal right like i think about like what happens in that first couple years outside of college is really going to be something that really is a life-defining moment like It's gonna probably not be defining in terms of um you know the Most important part of your life but what i do is i think it's like one of those really big forks in the road where it's gonna like whatever happens in that couple years and it's gonna probably put you on a trajectory or a path where you're probably going to go for the next several years right so like let's say for example if you get in and you don't do well you're probably going to change industries or change career paths right so it's really interesting where if you can help people do that so um again being in this little window i

[00:09:36] Josh: Get i feel like i really got to help kind of like guide people and get them on the right path and you know sometimes that's helping them exceed what we do and helping them move on and move up in the company and sometimes it's showing them that this is not meant for them and helping hold up the mirror to them and saying like are you really happy here it you know i because i can't imagine working in a sales environment where you're not successful and or you don't maybe align with the corporate values you're maybe not a person who is really feels like you want to push the customer to buy more you know buy something additional like that's not maybe that doesn't align with your core values but maybe you ended up in this job because you thought it was you know a good thing and so i've had to help people have you know find those things too um and kind of help find them on their path and sometimes that's helping them look outside of the company so um that's

[00:10:17] Josh: What i mean by that makes me feel purposeful that makes me feel good about myself like when i can wake up make a difference in someone's

[00:10:24] Josh: Like life you know and with work we don't really think of it that like emotionally or like that um that much in depth you should kind of surface level it's my boss it's whatever but um i think if you were to ask you know any of the people who've been a part of the teams that i've been lucky enough to be a part of it's like that they truly do feel like families um though they really they are like my brothers i've had mostly um men that have worked for me and we typically create like a really strong brotherhood where we stay in touch after we work together for a long time so um it's a i don't know it's just a really um a really special part of my life and a really special component that i know adds so much value to it um in a lot of different ways yeah i love that i imagine the environment to be to be just wonderful i mean i've heard like hearing their stories and you know seeing photos

[00:11:10] Josh: And whatnot but that would be really cool to work for someone who um like really sees you kind of as a person and like hey is this what you want to do you know not just you're not just looking out for yourself here you're not just looking out for numbers here you're trying to figure out um is this something you could see or see yourself doing for an extended period of time i think that's really important um your Your experience before working here um you didn't you Didn't go to school did you i didn't which um you know kind of thinking about that has always served as probably like One of the biggest pieces of insecurity that i do have um like a lot of my social circle or a

[00:11:51] Josh: Lot of people that i work with now professionally i'm probably one of the only maybe like i've met one other person really that doesn't have a college degree um that does kind of like what i do or works really in our industry it's just kind of more common that everyone does and so especially in my first couple years working at the company i was like really insecure about it and um you know because that's always

[00:12:12] Josh: Like especially in like a corporate setting that's always everyone's first like small talk entry-level thing like in an interview everyone's like oh you're a husky oh you're coog it's like i've been in like dozens and dozens of interviews where it's like that's what i'm talking about i'm like and those are just funny things too like those are just like um you know like invisible by like um unconscious bias that we have right too like where they don't realize that or they don't know you don't know like what kind of like um zone that puts like an interviewee in right when you're talking about that and they might not have that same thing to connect on but i was always really insecure about that but now um i feel like my career has kind of

[00:12:50] Josh: Like replaced that and so to myself i feel like i've earned my stripes and i'm really proud to be where i am and um happy you know almost sometimes can be more proud that i did it without the degree because that makes it harder in a lot of ways but um not going to school was definitely something that i always kind of like wish that i did and was kind of hard to myself about um but i think everything worked out okay so i'm not against it and it's always something that is there if i really wanted to go back and approach it again um but when i think About like my individuality and kind of like the way that i view myself in a lot of my life experience that i've gotten um i got when i didn't go to college so I think when a lot of people discover themselves or start to learn like peel back the layers of who they are and who they want to be um and just like

[00:13:35] Josh: A lot of those life experiences right like in relationships and friendships and being on your own um i didn't really get that in the traditional sense of going away to college or going away for four years um and so but one thing that i that i kind of reflect or can kind of um compare my experience to is I was doing a job for i was working for bank of america at the time and i got um i was chosen to go and be a Part of um their transformation team which Is where basically they were converting the computer systems in the state of California and so um long story short i was living In California for a temporary work assignment and i Went there and i was in an apartment that the company put me in i didn't know a single person i was 21 and i but i was there by myself and i Was you know discovering like my you know

[00:14:22] Josh: Really being open with my sexuality for the first time but it was the first time that i felt comfortable doing so because i wasn't home right like i wasn't in my hometown i wasn't i was around my citrus i wasn't around my friends so on one side i was so excited to just go and be completely kind of like liberated in the sense of i can go walk around or go to a barn go experience things or try things out or see what i like or you know i'm interested in this one

[00:14:48] Josh: Thing or what like am i gonna like that environment or whatever it is right so i had the ability to go really be really curious but i also had the chance to be myself without any like any baggage of who you think you are the way that you grow up or who you're around or pressures that you think you know the people you might hurt the people around you to be your authentic self or whatever that might be so that was really freeing and really liberating for me and then at the same time it also i you know moved away from a small town in monroe um washington and then was able to go be There and i didn't know anybody at all right so it was my first time i would go to like a bar and i would go and i have to like I would prep i'd

[00:15:19] Josh: Give myself a pep talk on the way like in the car and i'd be like okay you're gonna go to the bar you're going by yourself you don't have a single friend you don't know a single person in la you have to go and be like Have the ability to go like start a conversation with someone like face to face and so like i would do that like i would go to dinner by myself i would go to a bar and i would just go and like approach people and so um i think it was really uncomfortable it's not definitely not fun um at first But you know i think like forcing myself to do that really taught me a lot about just kind of like confidence And not being like afraid of people um and just being willing to like take the risk and say like whatever like obviously i'm sure there's not every person that like i tried to strike a connection with obviously doesn't happen but you know you find you know you find people or you also can really connect with someone

[00:16:14] Josh: That shows you some sort of like openness or friendship or warmth back in response then you're like it just kind of like instantly can like spark joy for you or show you like that people are good and then you know those are how great friendships begin those are how great adventures begin and so there's so many people that i met and connected with that were really impactful um during that time in my life too and that people that i'm still friends with today too so um i think that was kind of for me like my quote unquote college experience of like getting to go be there and do that and i think that really transformed me a lot too right yeah you kind of put yourself through the like the social side of college of i mean i imagine you're going through these pep talks like you and your car like all right let's go or you're looking in the mirror like at a hotel just you got to meet people you got to talk to them make eye contact you know like

[00:17:00] Jacob: That's powerful though man that's i mean that's really how you make it real connections and challenging yourself to step outside of your comfort zone and um i mean i think when i I remember because i grew up in fairly small town um kelso washington and It was kind of the same thing for me i didn't move away but i started traveling um even for like wadeca and then uh

[00:17:26] Josh: For like audio and stuff or live events uh soon after and i remember there was just this thing that i didn't realize that had been there before but uh like your assumptions would have of what everybody is thinking about you by staying in your same town it's kind of like you're walking around in high school and you're kind of stuck to your avatar of whatever your you're you like whatever click you're in and wherever you stand with it you actually have that in your town i remember when i went to places like bellevue even not even that far it's three hours away And i just felt more open like i feel like my chest opened up i felt like i was um more confident in Myself my when i would meet people you know i felt fine shaking their hand more firmly look at them in the eye these sorts of things and i imagine the doors that this opens

[00:18:12] Josh: Compared to you know kind of being in our shell you know maybe staying on our phones not challenging ourselves to do these like potentially like you might introduce yourself and make a fool out of yourself and then you got three people who are just like making fun of you or something i mean unlikely but that's pretty powerful man i think that's not a skill that everybody um

[00:18:34] Jacob: Not that it's a skill that you were born with so to say like you definitely have sharp into that because you weren't always here but i think a lot of people would benefit even from just hearing you talk about that yeah um yeah i know absolutely and then I think you know coming back from that like from that you

[00:18:51] Josh: Know temporary um you know time of being there then when i came back i think i was not like a changed person at my core of who i was what my values are the type of person that i was i think i came back like i said like with a lot of with a lot of like weight off of me i had a lot more confidence a lot more like swagger and my stuff and just a lot more self-assurance of who i was and i was more proud of who i was um because i found in making connections with strangers or people in a new town of new people that like people liked me and they liked me there when i took off the baggage of who i thought i was supposed to be or my own light or carrying the burdens of You know um you know of anything of your past Right or just you know anything like that so and i realized that people were more drawn to me and i um i was naturally becoming

[00:19:38] Josh: More magnetic to the right type of people that i wanted to be around and so then when i returned to Seattle and came home um i definitely you know got back into Like a lot of my old friendships but at the same time i was still kind of really craving that ability to kind of like keep stepping out keep experiencing new things um you know keep uh meeting new people Um and then what was funny in turn two is i think that once i had like once i came back and had That like renewed sense of self it's funny like i think also people from my past who maybe i didn't have the best relationship or dynamic with it's almost Like i felt like they were then maybe people let me be more clear people that maybe i felt like i didn't know where i stood with them or i wasn't sure of how our friendship was um or how they perceived me or maybe i felt a little bit insecure about my friendships or relationships or dynamics with certain people that i felt like maybe i was a little bit more not chasing but

[00:20:34] Josh: Felt maybe like lesser than in my own mind or was i cool enough or was i good enough or do i fit in with them when i came back and i had that running sense of self those people started to naturally be come back to me not through my own efforts but just because i think that again once You start living as you're supposed to live and being who you're supposed to be i think you're not like the authentic or the authenticity that you display and exhibit and demonstrate are it's going to be what naturally brings people back to you um and so it i thought that was like really interesting too because that was a an outcome or a result that i had never Planned on or never saw really happening but it was really and i think that also compounded my confidence in saying look the more that i'm myself the more that i'm authentic the more that i accept myself

[00:21:20] Josh: The more that people around me are going to be attracted to me because it is real it is genuine it is honest um and so i thought that was like a really interesting kind of thing to experience and see as well yeah that's super powerful i like how you tied in authenticity with your confidence i feel like that's totally what it is i mean it's just like i was saying when you're confident like me just as your friend you encourage me to Be more authentic when i'm when i'm around you like just because you are naturally that way like your confidence just has a as an aroma you know it just it Just comes off and people around you are also confident i think that's pretty powerful stuff um when it comes to authenticity let's switch over to social media so i'm always like because again like

[00:22:03] Jacob: Trying to present myself as an artist or like a i'm a dj and i have like this like character that i kind of have to play on stage in some senses you know it's almost like an act or um like on the podcast i want to Like my thing i want to be authentic like not that i want to like tell all my deepest darkest like fears and just like make sure that's on there every episode or anything but i want to show up as myself but Then there's also this part of me that um like changes like this makes you a good host let's make sure you're um doing these different things like It's i think that social media and um even Our work like the things that we do they kind of become extensions of who we are or like almost like a A trained delicate part of our ego like Our um our identity our identity that we Interact with everybody else in the outside world so what do you think about When it comes to situations where you're

[00:23:05] Jacob: Kind of like putting on different versions of yourself um but keeping your authenticity like So how do you like so say so say you identify josh as a like i'm a nice guy it's like it's i feel in my im like i not only identify it but i know that i'm a nice guy but then you have a meeting at work where you got to be the guy to fire someone you got to be the bad guy how do you I guess how do you balance like the different aspects of our personalities that have to interact with the outside world whether that's on social media or at work or whatever with being truly authentic does anything pop up to you in that yeah um a little bit so i think you know

[00:23:46] Josh: Social media in itself i don't know if this is directly answering your question but social i'm going to give you a direct question that's okay i'll pick where i want to dive in here um i think with social media i think it's so interesting and it's ever changing right too i think like when we met like when you and i first met um i definitely cared so much more about social media and i don't know if that is if that's i definitely care less um but i can tell Myself that i care less because i put less effort into like taking pictures and doing the right Thing and trying to like go somewhere but i do still have an element of me that Does want to uh oh actually this is Interesting um so there this is just brought me brought me the thought this might be more interesting so um with social media there was Definitely a time and i probably still have elements of this if i'm being completely honest um but there are elements of i would try to do things or achieve a certain amount of success financially or materialistically

[00:24:47] Josh: Um to prove that i had somehow accomplished something or that i was good enough or um and a lot of that i read this book um Called The Velvet Rage which i really recommend um it's about growing up gay basically in like you know like a hetero world um and it's written by a psychologist and there's a couple different kind of like personality types or archetypes that you could kind of probably try to identify with um as a gay person and when i was reading the book one of them is someone who basically Tries to overcompensate with non-emotional things to prove That they're good enough or that they're better so like for me like i would always prove like a trip that i was gone or somewhere that i was posting or what designer i was wearing i was basically saying like yes i'm gay but look how successful i am or look what i've accomplished like well

[00:25:37] Josh: Like you know you can't it's different than if you want to like insult me and if i was uh you know if i wasn't successful or whatever then i'm gonna take him more but i'm basically using all that stuff as like a shield and armor as it were like a defense to say like yes i'm gay but look at all These great things sam so like you can't really like come you can't really like judge my life or because i'm like you know i'm so and so better than you or i'm uh or whatever i'm trying to elevate myself but it's with things that are not like that aren't meaningful you know what i mean yeah oh that's pretty powerful yeah so what was the name of that book uh yeah The Velvet Rage um i don't know the name of the author i'd have to look but the author is a psychologist and so um and then you know there's different people who would escape through you know promiscuity and sex to try to

[00:26:22] Josh: Feel like to fill a goiter to do all that right so i think there's different ways um but i think you know once i learned that and you know i talked to like you know people close to me or my sisters i think you know they would definitely say like yeah you definitely have that element of like you have something to prove kind of in that sense too um and so that definitely is an element of my personality or the reason i do things or how i make decisions sometimes it's definitely based on that i do have like a part of my ego that definitely drives me to do those sort of things right do you know can you recall like the transition or when you were able to because now you're looking back at it in retrospect like oh okay maybe i was um you know re or posting these certain

[00:27:00] Jacob: Things to try to fulfill something that i that i didn't realize i was telling myself i didn't have and of course the book itself probably changed a lot of that but do you remember a time when like when did the actual change happen and i point that i asked that because i'm pretty convinced that a lot of people um because we all have our own Thing like that to some extent i feel like for sure and a lot of people i think over the last year because we've kind of been forced inside and we've been forced to check out our interiors as individuals um i think a lot of people are probably coming to terms with oh i was doing this to get this or you know Me just me as an example i'm definitely someone who i have i'm always trying to balance how much self-validation i'm seeking like how much validation i'm trying to get by like oh don't you don't you see me as an artist or don't you see me as like a nice podcast guy or whatever it is um so that exact like that moment of

[00:27:53] Jacob: Change and then were you also were you nice to yourself about it or were you like

[00:27:59] Josh: You weren't like embarrassed or anything like oh i'm so ashamed that i used to do these things or no i'm like i'm like a no shame that's a fault i'm like a no shame person i was like i'm like there was reasoning behind that there was some there was the why behind that um no so definitely i've never really been a person that's been too tough by myself and i don't i think that part of me is natural um i'm definitely not a person that's part of myself i'm definitely like a person that's like you earned it you deserve it so fair come on splurge like whatever it is so i'm indulgent um And like if i want something i'll get it i don't like being told no so i'm not really hard on myself in that sense um but you know i think you know i've had a Couple of situations where you kind of when you talk about like those pivotal moments or in reflection is i think that you end up In either situations or relationships like friendships or social Settings and you realize that there's no uh that

[00:28:59] Josh: There's no stakes in them there's no there's no meaning there's no depth right and then you like you know you might be like you know they're you might just be at a party and be like who like why am i like why am i really here you're like oh because i met someone that like or

[00:29:15] Josh: You know met someone off of instagram or that i saw someone at a party and like whatever we connected in but then you're there like you're like we're not talking about anything of meaning these aren't people that i like these aren't people that if i had them over that i wouldn't want to kick them out at like the end of the night that you know it's not people that i would want to be around sober and be watching a movie with on a sunday i can tell you that much it's not you know it's like i think they're i think you end up in situations like that and you're like what am i chasing because they're cool because they like the way that they dress or because like they like we like the same music like they're in there can be meaning in those things too but i think like um ending up in those situations i'm like i'm the p and then the people that i truly am closest with that i truly have you know vulnerable moments with um

[00:29:57] Josh: Heartfelt conversations i'm like it's not impressing them and they're almost seeing the people that are close to me they almost see the facade of who you're trying to be which probably almost diminishing in turn

[00:30:09] Josh: Those relationships not that they're gonna like walk away from you but they're probably rolling their eyes and saying like that's not the josh that i know like who's like projecting something or trying to be something or trying to be cool um that's not who like when i'm with josh he's a dork he doesn't shut up he's the person who would send a text or will send 10 text messages in a row he's a person who's like a little annoying he's a little like a little over the top so it's like but then if so it's like they're probably like questioning like am i being authentic too and then those people i'm just kind of like you know putting on a little bit of a charade just to like fit in or to just because i think they're cool like what makes anyone cool anyways i don't know it's just such a weird thing but um but i think the like you know moments like that make you start to be like you're the things that you post for Social media are never typically for

[00:30:56] Josh: You're not when you do it in your subconscious i don't think we're thinking about what it's like you know i don't think about like what is bringing cooley gonna say what does you know what is um what are my best friends on my group check and say what am i sister understand i'm thinking like i wonder like if there's like one of like these random people like what's their impression can they give me right so we're kind of like think i know i don't think i think that's an interesting way of how we look at what we post and what we present or what we put out there yeah cause we do kind of like try to paint this corner of ourselves you know i mean it's at this point we've had social media long enough now it's not like we're blind to it anymore like everybody knows oh okay this is our highlight reel like this isn't i feel like there was a first few years of social media where it was just kind

[00:31:36] Josh: Of blind to a lot of us we didn't really realize what we were doing me for sure um i remember i had i had Photo um i wanted to like i wanna i wanna find The photo and like put them side by side but i had a photo where i went out um with a photo shoot with my friend and i

[00:31:53] Josh: Actually photoshopped like my bicep to be a little bit bigger in the photo yeah and like it was weird because i as i was doing it like it never occurred like it was like oh yeah i'm making the photo look cooler like i put them side by side and the one where my bicep looks bigger like yeah it's like a more appealing photo to someone who's strolling through and then you know like a year later i was thinking about it or i looked at it i saw it and i'm like what a strange thing to do like why would i need to do and i would wonder what it does to me you know as someone i struggle with insecurity a lot and i just wonder like what that solidifies in me and i wonder now i'm like oh is that healthy so i try to um i get the visual aspects of

[00:32:33] Josh: Social media because it's super cool and i in just because i have like kind of a sloppy page now because i'm trying to be authentic or there i am trying to trying to communicate a certain way on my social media i think the coolness of presenting yourself um in this in this certain way on social media is like that's an awesome thing humans are doing i think social media is as much as i like harp on it and try to dissect it's really cool that we're able to present ourselves in these ways

[00:33:00] Jacob: No that makes perfect sense you know i had a question for you actually too um do you feel like as a creative person And a person who um has really kind of you know you have taken so many different like avenues and ways to like express your creativity like you know um you know obviously with your music and now with um now with being a podcast and so many other different you know vehicles you know do you have like a life-affirming moment or has there been anyone in your life that was like really instrumental do you think that helps kind of guide you or put you on your path to like creativity and expressing yourself and doing a lot of things that you do Hmm that's interesting Um i don't i don't know i mean i I draw inspiration from like i mean I as a general statement like i've met so many cool people that i couldn't even like narrow it down i think that the way that i act let's put it this way i had i had like a rough go at it

[00:33:59] Jacob: Growing up and but what it made me do is it made me basically kind of like an introverted quiet observer of other people and so it Made me kind of like as everybody else is interacting doing their thing i like to i've used this example with my counselor as everybody family is watching tv everybody's enjoying the movie they're into the movie i feel like a lot of times i'm watching the family watch tv and so i'm just like observing what everybody's doing all the time um and i uh i think that What i kind of do is i take just little Bits and pieces from everybody like if i if i watch a cool video if i watch you know um kanye west doing something or michael jackson doing something or um even somebody in my in my life like my friends's dad do something or say something that's inspiring it'll like i'll change who i Am quickly like it'll just hit me and i'm like oh i want to be more like that so i um i don't know that there was there was never anybody when i was younger anyway that was like

[00:34:57] Jacob: Oh he's a creator and i want to be that or he's a dj and i want to be that But i think just my way of observing The world inevitably started to fall as i got older it started to fall into like oh you're really kind of creating your own you know dj takes a little bit of this song a little bit of this song and a little bit of that and a little bit of this sample and makes their own sort of thing um but I did have a mo as far as djing goes i guess i could say um cascade at identity fest in like 2011 Right before it became paradiso at the gorge um i did have a profound moment Where it didn't really occur to me to ever be a dj and i was sitting by myself

[00:35:36] Josh: Um on the hill it was all my friends were out dancing like it was all good vibes it wasn't like sad boy sitting by myself or anything but cascade was playing and it just like hit me i was like oh i want to do this i want to make people feel like this because i'm looking around and people are i mean sure like a bunch of them are rolling their balls off but and you know just feeling good from those sorts of things but people were happy like people were joyous and i remember i had this profound moment of i want to

[00:36:02] Josh: Do this i want to i want to do what that guy on stage is doing because i can make people feel really good and that seems awesome so that's kind of one i guess yeah that makes sense it's really it's really interesting to you to hear you say that like what drove you to that is because of the way that it would make people feel not because of what it was for you was like that was like that's really cool to hear that too like that was and that does make sense to what you said with your analogy of watching the family watch the movie it's like you're sitting there and you're watching the people experience the music they can experience the joy and be in the moment and you were saying i want to facilitate that or i want to create that for other people to go and experience too so that's pretty cool i like i love hearing that yeah cool yeah thank you that's a pretty good question i feel like i've never

[00:36:43] Jacob: I don't know i did you have anybody growing up who was like this is my idol like i want to be like this person did you have anybody when you were young um i feel like i liked a lot of like musicians and stuff like that but i would say like in terms of people like more importantly than that i would say like people that really shaped me um you know definitely like From a young age like i always had like a really special connection with my mom and with my entire family unit like my entire family is so close but i feel like my mom when i spoke before when i was like i'm not hard on myself at all and like can sometimes be like too far the other way is like growing up my mom like and i Don't know how she did it but she did it in every just naturally in every way like i was always so

[00:37:25] Josh: Confident as a kid like even as a kid even as a gay kid even like i would like calmly be like oh mom this called me a fact today but like i didn't like i wasn't like broken by it i wasn't crying by it like yeah for sure was there like a couple like you know like hard like a hard day here and there but like overall i wasn't like i didn't really experience like hardcore bullying or anything like that um i had like a really like you know people would make comments or hear people call me a name but like i always possess this way of like someone could call me a name or i would know someone would like think being gay was a bad thing behind my back when i was a kid or growing up or whatever it was but like for some reason i don't know if i just always had like blinders on not to that it existed but like it just i never let it penetrate me and not it wouldn't

[00:38:05] Josh: It never penetrated how i viewed myself and i don't and i think you know a lot of that attribute just to like my sisters and my dad and my mom because they i always felt so like Inside my home and in my family it's like i have like the most like idea of childhood in the sense of we always had so much fun we were Always laughing and I was always able to be 100 myself And we like my like my family my sisters my Mom my dad they always made me feel like you could literally do anything that you want to do but at the same time what i think was unique about the way that my family did that and created that environment for me it was one without pressure or without um like you know when you

[00:38:47] Josh: Hear people be like oh my parents push me to play sports or they push me to do this thing right like i played sports i was the number one seated tennis player for my high school in my junior year of high school and i quit my senior year and like every other parent would have been like you have to you can't what do you mean you're gonna quit your senior year no way yeah so like my parents never put they said you can be whatever you want to be but never with limitations or with like their own like Their own wanna fulfillment or their own like pressure to go make me do something like i could quit my job tomorrow and tell my mom i'm gonna go be a surf bum i don't surf by the way i wish but like i could tell my mom i'm gonna go quit my dog and go be a certified and she would support me 100 without question without phil and she's done that for all of her children and my dad would be the same way um so i think that was really unique um

[00:39:33] Josh: That was really unique about just the way that i was brought up um i always had felt like i could Literally do anything because i always had the support and love of those other four people constantly Every single day like no matter whether I was no matter what i did that was good or was bad and i think that is what makes me so great like when i think about what makes what i'm most grateful the most appreciative of it's definitely my family because i think you know i just have heard stories or i have volunteered at you know the Orion Youth Center in Seattle with LGBTQ+ you that are homeless because

[00:40:09] Josh: They've been kicked out because of who they are um or people who you know aren't kicked out not to those extremes but they live with the family who they don't like they can be themselves and that doesn't always come back to just you know sexuality that can be come back to what they want to do with their lives the grades that they get the friends that hang out with right like there can be so many different things but um i think having that core unit and That security and safety around me like i've always just been like walking through life like the sky is the limit and like i can go anywhere i want to go i can do whatever i want to do um because no matter what i have that i have that waiting for me and that's always there for me and that's never wavered and it's they've never wavered on me once so i think that a lot i think that's what allows me to be confident right Um so that was really long-winded but um

[00:40:53] Josh: And then i would say like additionally like one person that i think when i when i asked you about life-affirming moments or any one pivotal in your life um i think there are certain people that Come to you that are just meant to be a part of your journey um and that kind of see something in you before you see it in yourself and so i was uh like when i was in high School i was in leadership and my leadership teacher was this great Guy um nick wold and he was also like the basketball coach and now he's an athletic director he's like an incredible educator and incredible person to be um you know mentoring you know youth he i remember he was i

[00:41:33] Josh: Work i was in his leadership class and he was like josh i think you'd be really good at this like there's an internship to go work at the bank and i like blew it off but he like he was like i can see you being really good in business i can see you being really like savvy in these ways or i can see you having these certain skills or traits that would make you successful um in doing this then it was and then it Was like funny because then after high school i got a job at the bank and i worked in banking for five years and i got that job in California right so those are what i think are so

[00:42:00] Josh: Special those are people that like you know i you know i knew him for one to two years and but he served such a purpose in putting me on a path and saw something in me before i saw myself and i was like then you think okay well if this teacher believes in me that i would be good at this and like i respect him and i trust his opinion like and like i guess i could be good at that right so then like that's another confidence building thing right so i think um and then to kind of bring it full circle that's the role that i feel like i play for the people that i first need to leave now so it's like so it's kind of like the same thing so i think you know there's been so many people in my life that i've been so you know fortunate and lucky to have that have kind of like guided me or saw something in me and challenged me to like okay don't just be like

[00:42:41] Josh: A little brat like what's like you have something cool in there like do something with it like you could be successful in these ways right so um i think you know i really i there's people like that i think have been so instrumental and so that's kind of what i mean about the purpose i hopefully that i serve for others is now in my world too so i think it's kind of um interesting to see that translate i guess yeah oh wow that's so beautiful actually to think that like it really did come full circle like that you ended up being that person that you didn't even realize was kind of looking out for you at that young age um it actually came to mind as i have had a couple instances where um you know teachers or people Like older people in my life would um tell me that i'm like give Me a little bit of confidence i remember i had uh the assistant principal at my high school when i was in like 10th or 11th grade or something i remember going late to a prom or a winter ball or

[00:43:35] Josh: A homecoming or something like that and walked in and he literally just Like he just took a couple minutes he pulled me aside right when we walked in for my friends and basically just kind of gave me like a two three minute hey if you didn't realize you're a leader like people look up to you like and it was just so unexpected i mean it stuck with me for sure like i guess i didn't think about it at first but as you were saying that definitely popped into mine um just like that couple minutes that he took to pull me to the side and say like hey in case you're not seeing it you're a leader like people look up to you and i don't know i I know there's a lot of people

[00:44:16] Josh: At a young age i like to i'm still like coming to terms with a lot of like a lot of my memory from my childhood is either i don't remember it or it's just super tainted like i'm just like super sour about a lot of stuff and i'm still in the process of healing a lot of that like just uh my opinions of people in my life um over The last couple years have changed and i've just become more grateful rather than like bitter and just not realizing i was bitter um but there has been a couple people who like were looking out for me and they would give me little pinches of hope i didn't exactly have the family union unit to encourage me Um but now i mean i'm again grateful

[00:44:54] Josh: To say you know if i text either of my sisters right now and tell them what i'm working on they're like that's awesome like for my birthday they get me um like journals to write in because they believe in me as a writer you know there's it really i'm very grateful now for the relationships that i have um with my family but growing up we didn't have too much of that we were all kind of just like fighting for You know survival for us at that point is you know as intense as that sounds um wow isn't that so cool to think of You know just one person could say one little thing or pull you to the Side and say you're uh like hey you're a leader or like why don't you apply for this job and you're like me like why would i apply for it he's like because you'd be good at it i see you know that's what they're saying right just like in avatar the that's the scene where they're just like i see you it's pretty powerful yeah i love

[00:45:47] Josh: That and i think that is something that you know that is such a good reminder to all of us you know like when you do see something in someone and like you know i think right when we're not in school we have probably less opportunities for people to be kind of looking out for us in that sense and trying to probably highlight or bring those things to our attention so i think it's such a good reminder for us to say like you know like if you have a friend you can see doing something really cool or you see equality in them that they might not see themselves i think it's such a great opportunity to build

[00:46:15] Josh: Them up or you know shine that light back on them and say hey like did you realize like you're really good at this or you know when you speak on this topic people really listen to you they care what you have to say um or you know it can be so many different things but i think it's a good reminder to find opportunities and make and you know be intentional and make an effort to do that for the people that are around us because those things like we can see now right we have all those examples of how valuable those can be and maybe the impact of those won't be felt for 5 10 years 20 years but like those things will be remembered right like oh that person that person had that Conversation with me they opened me up to see something that i didn't see um and i think those are like the really kind of like big special moments of life too that go so far yeah man definitely It is really cool how just someone not Only seeing us the spark in you um but extending

[00:47:06] Josh: Like trying to reach into you and pull it out a little bit they're like hey like this is a part of you that is that is important and i love that part of you and i you know that part of you is shining outwardly um i think that You know that is something that i tried to do through this podcast i always try to be encouraging like if people are starting a new project if people are um you know doing some sort of like they just started a small business they're an entrepreneur i mean i like to try to meet people Um on that level of like self-belief Like cool like you can do it you know it's and i know a lot of people who

[00:47:41] Jacob: You could almost see like the sparks come in their eyes when it's like oh really you like you think i could do this like you think me um and that's really encouraging um do you have when let's see Uh when we switch back to or what Whatever happens next right when we're not all you know hopefully wearing masks maybe we can shake hands again i don't know when any of that's coming along um i think that a lot of people are Going to probably have to almost reinstall their confidence like kind of get back get back used to being social Um do you have anything that you is it all is it all just a natural process for you or do you have anything that you consciously now um bring to the bring to the table like when you're about to go into a meeting when you're about to meet a new client do you nowadays have any sort of pep talks in your car before you before you go in you know um

[00:48:36] Jacob: I haven't had any pep talks in the car recently because i've been working from home virtually um but what's interesting for me too is i am much i think i'm able to much more Engage or turn on or um Be more dynamic like in person like then like if you were to like if a random friend was to like call me and like when i talk on the phone for an hour like i would not want to talk to them on the phone um or like with my team like i would i'd

[00:49:03] Josh: Rather be in person with them i would sit next to them side by side and work on something with them but like when they want to like when they want like when we meet virtually i'm like bus and i'm like oh i roll like i don't want to do this like i don't know why um so like i'm a person that much more comes to life thrives um on the in-person stuff so that i'm like really ready to get back into um but i do think it's gonna be strange because we're gonna because i think people are still socializing today right but it's probably with like that core unit of like their closest friends or family so yeah like once we go back out into the world it's going to be interesting to see how we all you know have adapted and changed or how do we have to relearn like you know a lot of like that social stuff that we're not used to right anymore yeah i mean i think i Want to like encourage people hitting to hit the ground running once we are open to like

[00:49:46] Josh: You know we're going to have to watch our hey your natural biases is going to be because you've been at home in your basement in your sweatpants you know for the last year like that's your new normal you're comfortable with that and so we're gonna have to reach inside of ourselves and kind of pull out the confidence aspects and try to really show up i mean i know me just because i'm um you know i don't Know overly neurotic about things i have to like overly analyze them they don't always become it's not always a natural oh just go talk to this person so i know me i'm gonna be like okay what's my what's my posture like what's my i'm gonna be trying to police my eye contact all these sorts of things and um i even when i the job i'm working now i was talking about it with my friend tyler um milliken on the podcast yesterday uh we Were talking about even my transition from kind of going through You know all of my you know i don't know like life changes

[00:50:37] Josh: Spiritual stuff i've been the last couple years have really been my journey has been trying to work through a lot of like childhood trauma stuff trying to change you know limiting beliefs just things that weren't working out for me just trying to find what is working for me and what's helpful and how i can live the live life to the best of my ability um i was just in my basement a lot and i went to this new job and the first month at least i was Awkward as all hell i was like i couldn't do small Talk i was like i went from meditating every day at least an hour a day well not every day an hour a day Every day but um quite a bit of meditation quite a bit of yoga just being with myself being a weirdo um so just going back

[00:51:19] Josh: Into the public of oh yeah we can have like not everything is so serious jake like we don't have to talk about the universe at all times we're just trying to do some paperwork you know um so that just that transition was interesting so i think a lot of People are gonna um you know when we do go back to the regular schedule i hope we're able to find confidence within each of ourselves well that's interesting too because you

[00:51:44] Jacob: What's cool about you have done obviously a lot of um work on yourself right during the time you said over the past year even just through your mindfulness and your meditation and all those things too so what's kind of cool for you to one way you can look at it and say like the version of yourself you're bringing back into the world is an improved version of yourself right it's like you can because you've made those investments and wanting to evolve or grow um and so Like that's kind of cool like you're going to show people like you know uh someone who's evolved or Someone who's you know gone through gone through some transformation in some way so you're kind of bringing a better version of yourself and you had you can look at last year's like you were able to take that time to invest in yourself and like you know bring you're bringing the new one out to just show up for the first time yeah i'm jake 2.0 son i know

[00:52:31] Jacob: Yeah no that's uh that's super cool when do you think uh when do you think we'll be able to get back to festivals and concerts soon Um i read something yesterday that they said fall 2021 but i'll probably say 2022 to be Honest you know depending upon how everything goes with vaccines um which i know is such a hot topic for everybody like positive and negative right people have different viewpoints i don't have a strong viewpoint one way or the other on them um but i do think I mean i'm all for i mean i'm in support of it let me say that i'm very supportive of the vaccine and wanting and i love that it's gonna be available and i want people to have it available to them i just don't have a strong um like personal like

[00:53:14] Josh: Um stanford i guess taking it yeah exactly um but i love that it's available and i want it to be out there for people that want it and give people that peace of mind and that safety net security and i know you know i know um friends you know friends parents and things like that who are immunocompromised or you know dealing with stuff so i know like that just causes like a day-to-day stressor for them where they're like they think about in the back of their mind all day every day like what if my you know parent catches it so for them to be able to have that i think it's such a beautiful thing and it's really cool to see um how How quickly that was able to be turned around and so hopefully everyone can get on the same page and make this a positive thing um but yeah i hopefully soon like it's Funny i don't miss Seattle bars

[00:53:56] Jacob: Because they're just pretty basic to be honest um but like I miss dancing man like

[00:54:03] Josh: Actually dancing like okay i'm gonna show you this i'm having some girlfriends over next week for Galentine's gang times party that we do sometimes i love it and i literally bought a disco ball can you see it oh what yeah so i need to install that But like i'm telling you like i want to be like hardcore like grimy sweaty dancing Room with some lights on like or something you don't guys want to feel i just want to feel the music like but like i don't even like go sit like a sports bar but like i want to like dance for real yeah dude definitely i definitely i miss that too that makes me so excited that you're actually gonna hang an entire disco ball in your home that's the cool thing about being a homeowner you don't have to second-guess it you're like i don't i don't care put a giant screw in the ceiling and i'm gonna do like a temporary command strip and hopefully hope it stays but that's gonna

[00:54:52] Josh: Turn the party up when the disco ball eats **** on the ground luis was like that's huge it's way bigger than i thought it's bigger than i thought it was so i am very amped for this for this to be up so That shows where my mindset i'm looking i'm looking into disco right now no that's super good that's exciting i mean you'll be back uh with a karaoke mic in your hand in no time i think that i've witnessed you what oh it's a it's bruno mars 24 karat gold That's definitely uptown funk

[00:55:22] Jacob: Yeah it's uptown funk they sound similar Oh man i feel embarrassed i should know that i'm a dj um most people try to block that out of their memory because it's so bad so no dude i love it see i'm someone who's like when you're it's another one of those energy things you're picking up on someone's energy like it's exciting to see someone enjoying themselves it's not always like When you go out to an open mic night or a karaoke bar it's not always like i'm gonna go hear someone who's better than alicia keys like no you're gonna go see someone having a blast and if you're even halfway human you're gonna start having a blast too by just watching them you know i know we need to get we need to get rock box back open me and i'm like i'm like doesn't count as like everyone has their own room shouldn't they be able to be open actually they should be yeah rock box were the private karaoke rooms i feel like that actually should be something that do you know if they went

[00:56:10] Jacob: Under at all or are they still i saw they had like two outdoor little tables so that people were drinking in there which i don't know what the point of drinking there without the karaoke is but um you know a place to drink i was joking with my like with my like closest friends and family and we're like literally like they're just grateful uh one of the silver linings of Kobe was that they haven't had their mixing karaoke for a year so That's one of the positive outcomes for everyone well little do they know we're all we're all in the karaoke gym right now we're all practicing so we're gonna come yeah we're going to come back out just like ready to perform whole albums at this point exactly you have to set your enough to send me some um send me anything good you have like studio 54 style music for my from when i get my disco ball set up Okay i could probably do that i probably got it got a couple jams or two i've been um it's been interesting my like my taste in music you know every i

[00:57:04] Jacob: Since i started a couple years ago started listening to so many podcasts and stuff anyway i get so obsessed in what i'm doing um Like normally like as a dj i would be constantly listening to music but not just to enjoy it i'm putting this song in a playlist i'm listening to this song i'm i would have a feed yeah like Every day i would have a feed that i go through and basically organize new music into new playlists that i'm going to play or like oh i have a gig next week here so that's Going to change what i listen to during this week but once i started doing a lot of the podcast stuff and the mental health stuff i was i've listened to less music And certainly less music in that way because i've kind of like switched my obsession over into you know exploring the mind and exploring the human condition those sorts of things but uh i'm always in like some sort of sort of a balance of trying to like listening to what's

[00:57:57] Jacob: Popular right now is very interesting to me because there's a lot of artists who are like you know probably getting out old songs that are you know right now since we're not able

[00:58:06] Josh: To go to clubs and stuff and we're not able to have um you know outdoor beach parties when we hear someone rapping or singing about it doesn't hit us hard anymore like it's just so it's kind of curious to like hit the bar of what's popular and what should we be listening to and talking about right now yeah it is it is really interesting i think music is starting to sound i think every genre is starting to blend too it's like country music sounds more like pop music than pop music because pop music more like hip hop you know it's just

[00:58:35] Josh: Very interesting how like how genres are which i mean which doesn't matter just interesting i guess but um yeah you i listened to i listened to podcast way more than i listened to music which before i felt like i was always listening to new music new songs um but i made a conscious ever just like last week i've just like been looking on spotify and trying to find like more like house music playlists and just get back into it and um last weekend luis and i were driving around just like running errands but like all day long we were just like vibing to house music in the car and it was like it was really fun i think like that music though it's funny because i get in the same cycle just listening to the podcast but then i'm like i was having so much more fun listening to like some house music and like just like it was making me smile just to like have that so um i'm gonna continue to make a conscious effort to like

[00:59:16] Josh: Make sure that i'm balancing out like getting some good music and like creating that vibe a lot more than just podcasts about housewives all the time yeah dude i totally get you there you do have to balance it you kind of underestimate the um like when i'm i'll wake up and put on podcasts about like kind of serious stuff or i'll be you know foolish and listen to some sort of news or what's going on like if you know the word trump is in the title i don't want to start my morning with that but sometimes i'll get pulled into it and i think that i've had other mornings where i wake up and i recognize ooh Today i need some dance you know i need to move around i need to move my body and dude there's powerful it's a good thing to wake up start your day and be like i'm gonna listen to some music for a little while and dance around like the rest of your day is going to be way better well would you are you going

[01:00:02] Josh: To put back on your um are you willing to bring back um uh

[01:00:07] Jacob: Put back on your dj skills for me for us when i need to throw i need to throw a revival of um national Josh Gebby and have you dj again 100 tell me when i'm in that was fun That one when you did it that was that was pretty fun yeah i know that That was pretty fun um i want to say that was quite a few

[01:00:26] Josh: Years ago i want to say that i went out the night before in portland and then we drove up to Seattle i think that i remember being really hungover actually i think we're like i don't know i was like out on the patio that restaurant or whatever that was fun though that was good yeah no that was super cool it'll be nice to be able to do those sorts of things again too and just have people there and listen to music and vibe i think that we're gonna come back so much more grateful like you know just The ability to just have a you know a Beer and a casual conversation with some decent music playing in the background like that right there give me that i'm so content you know some people are projecting or predicting that it'll be like the roaring 20s again because it'll be like people are able to do it right so it'll be interesting to see like are people going to be so craving like those experiences and nightlife and debauchery um in that

[01:01:15] Josh: Way so it'll be interesting to see like what things are like what you know right yeah i've been i've been curious about that too because i mean i'm hoping when things open back up or whatever that means right that i'm able to just like all right every weekend i'm working again and like now people want djs on tuesday nights too so i'll do that too you know i've been um hopeful about It but it's been another thing with identity it's been What i think was it was middle of march when we shut down um and i was at a show for um audio i Mean i did a little djing at that show it was wodeka flc actually up in bellevue um but that Was this last year and i've played one What maybe two weddings in that time and Then i've done some virtual stuff but mostly man i feel Like a i feel like i don't know if i identify With being a dj so much anymore like it seems like it's been that long it's this weird thing where um and i also had a lot of like

[01:02:16] Josh: Changes in my life right after COVID too and so um i'm working on some stuff like uh a mix that's that i got to send in on sunday and so the last couple days i've been djing and i'm like rusty man i'm not super Like there's literal dust on my turntables and it's weird to me so it's been an adjustment so i think everybody coming back i think it'll definitely be the roaring 20s but even djs are going to have to like You know yeah brush off the dust dude So you'll be brushing off your uh your shoes the dust on your dance shoes and the karaoke mics but i'm ready yeah what's up hey what's the What's the best festival you've ever been to like what year too Oh good question Um i would say Ultra in Miami um was One of them and that was 2013. I think and then One of them i mean definitely like all the like um that couple year of Coachella was in a row that we did i think we're like we're like the most magical um and I think for different reasons too the ultra

[01:03:32] Josh: One was fun because i went with one friend and that was like a one that was like an adventure one where like we met strangers and like we like make friends and like we're in the car with them the festival that we just met five minutes ago and then like i've like now they live it like i've visited them or i've not visited them but i visited texas and seen them like met them up at a bar for a drink and so like there's something that led to some really cool stuff like that um or like one person i met that they were in london and then like when my me and my sisters went to london like we met up with him for his birthday party so like that one was really fun um but then the other ones i feel like are like those bonds that we made with like the group of like our closest friends and my sisters and all where we were oh wait like we're together and like cuddle puddles and

[01:04:09] Josh: Wearing onesies and um doing all those things i think like those are definitely some of the best memories i have um festivals For sure yeah i mean it's cool how i feel like it's the same with me if i if i were to try to answer that question it's not i can't really say oh it's just this festival because it was this artist and they played this song or They just they their set was so good like there's all that but right along holding hands with it is I mean Coachella was so fun because Coachella is fun but it was like the fact that we were in a house together like all of our really good friends like just you're basically you felt like we're living someone else's life or something for a few days you just get to go move into this big old house with a pool and hang out with like amazing people feel confident um

[01:04:56] Josh: And yeah it's the whole trip like the even the bad stuff that comes with like when i missed my uh my flight i'd like sleep in the airport like that's like that's like a cool thing to me like it was just part of the story now you know like that was your life one time um Yeah i remember we're sitting by the pool and i'm like in sweatpants and just yeah they ended up bringing it to the um To the airbnb but yeah they lost my luggage i think You know what uh one thing that i think of festivals um i do think as you know Like frivolous or silly as like people might perceive them um i think that you know like when i think about the Coachella experiences As i think they do serve such a good purpose because it's like that one you know for a few days or for a week or whatever it is of the year you're gonna go and like when you're there you're so immersed in The experience of the festival and Your priorities are just literally like have fun smile talk to people like look at

[01:05:59] Jacob: Beautiful things look at art experience music dance like you and you

[01:06:04] Josh: Can it's like fun because you get to temporarily live in that bubble and like you don't really fight there is an outside world like this is the world the center like the ends of the universe are right here on the ends of these grounds and like when we're in here it's safe and it's protected and it's special and it's sacred um and i think that's like and i think that like being able to do that you know once or twice a year i think allows us to get through the

[01:06:26] Josh: Mundane groundhog day of life and work and whatever so it's like i think that like everyone deserves like that outlet and i wonder like too like what has that done for people you know um for people's mental health like just working every single day nothing to look forward to no escape so i think it'll be really kind of cool to see like and i think we were texting about this last week or whatever but you're like you i was like i missed coach helen you're like i'm excited to see what Coachella what like the rebirth is like what our festival may be in the future like how are they gonna or how are they gonna have evolved and like there's gonna be something because it will be different it's going to feel different so i'm excited to see like what that all you know becomes and what we got to experience the next time we get to do it yeah seriously i mean because we were just i mean festivals were just leveling up more and more each year like you look at Pasqua pasqual rotella who runs insomniac so

[01:07:16] Josh: Edc i mean the amount of money time Um artistry like you know looking at the Stages the lights that go with everything the visuals like they just kept leveling up and up you know and then Coachella had a few years back they had like the hologram um so i mean there's that one

[01:07:38] Jacob: Oh you were for the tupac hologram that was my first one yeah i think that i don't think i went until the year after but i remember just like being blown away yeah hologram was 2012 i remember so yeah i know like the gross incoming until 13 or 14 yeah yo so we better get like Tons of holograms i'm trying to get like full band holograms at this point it's gonna be like just like totally immersive experience in every way yeah i think um didn't oh does it do drones

[01:08:06] Jacob: One year i don't um i think they did a big thing with drones one year too which was cool so like i could see them doing a bunch more stuff like not even like that was built from the ground like what are they gonna do with drones what kind of visuals can they do what kind of like you know can you put like uh can you cast like a you know like a hypothetical like a net or like a field of like drones that can like connect the lights on the top so you feel like you're in like a like under something like there's pretty cool stuff yo i can't even imagine the feeling of that i mean because when you're at a concert when you're at a festival like when something crazy like that happens or imagine when a special guest comes out that you weren't planning on like the like everybody next to you're just like oh my god dude it's just you lose your mind and And i think that i'm really hoping that When we hit the ground running and festivals come back it's just next it's just like there's drones

[01:08:57] Jacob: There's holograms there's special guests it's just all those things to make everybody there like really feel present and like you were saying this it's very important i think a lot of us you know we work all the time and we it's like what are we working for in a sense you know like just being alive if you're just saving money and you're just working like there's times to just work but to go experience um like Like the payoff of what you worked for you know that's a huge part of human life and so i think when we go back it's going to be it's going to be roaring 20s it's going to be drones everything think about think

[01:09:34] Josh: About all the artists all the creators all the dj's all the musicians like they're going to be craving so much to be in front of people like to experience that again like you know like so that's going to be cool too like i can i can imagine that um everyone is going to be looking for like the greatest ways to connect with people again and create those like awesome experiences so i think there's a lot to look forward to yeah definitely i'm looking forward to it i'm sure the next hopefully the next few years josh you and i will be uh cheersing with A beer somewhere at a festival at some point somehow that's a highly content where you're just like chugging 25 Heineken lights So you can get your buzz your 14 beers

[01:10:13] Josh: It happened that's all that's all part of it though like i feel like when you go into a festival or like even a sporting event you're like yeah man the beer is 12 bucks that's just part of the thing i'm gonna enjoy it every sip you know yeah exactly give me another one i'll take two yeah um so we're getting a little up here in time and i know you had a i think another meeting so i did want to there's a question i've been asking guests lately um and so just see if anything pops into your mind for this uh what would you say the world could

[01:10:42] Jacob: Use more of right now like What does the world need right now Yeah i don't know how to sum it up in a few words but i will try i think

[01:10:53] Josh: You don't need to summarize it you can go on forever does it doesn't matter i think you know I think the world needs More like openness to Understanding like i think that what you know i think right now everyone is so divisive On both sides you know like i think it's challenging to have a conversation right now i think and you know there's so many things to contribute to it but like i think we like everyone needs To look inward and just say who am i like what do i Want to be yes i might feel really strongly or really passionate about something um but do i Want to you know like what how do i want

[01:11:37] Josh: To be able to communicate around what that is or what i feel without creating like more of a divide and creating more hate and more frustration because they just like right now everyone is on opposite sides like we talked about the vaccine i mean there's people like i you know that i'm friends with their follow-up on social media that like are very anti-vaccine i think it's you know horrible but it's like it you can see that it's like eating them alive and they feel like every day they have to like fight to prove this and that it's so horrible and that it's so bad in them but i'm like i don't think that they're realizing like that they're letting some of these issues eat them alive and i don't think that we should go and like you know put our heads in the sand about politics or about you know the world or anything that's going on but i do think there has to be like the healthy balance of you know i want to share my opinion i

[01:12:21] Josh: Might post an article and say hey this is interesting take a look at it versus it you know like there's different ways to frame things or that you're probably going to be get people to be more open to what you have to say or your viewpoint but i think right now i think i think right now we need to listen more And actually listen not be listening to re to rebuttal or refute what the other person's saying but truly listen and try to understand like where they're coming from but at the same time i think like again self-reflect the only thing in the world we can control is ourselves right for the most part so it's like control we can control look at ourselves and say like am i am i

[01:12:57] Jacob: Allowing something to take me over am i am i letting am i you know like you said you said you know if i wake up and there's like a headline about Donald Trump i don't want to start my day with that and i know what head space that's going to put me in it's probably going to make me upset or angry or depressed or

[01:13:11] Josh: But like negative so then like what are you going to go carry on to your day you're going to carry all those things with you so it's like just like don't let every don't let anything consume you or take you over like to a point where like it impacts your life in a negative way like you know have your beliefs to be strong find ways to speak your voice get involved make a change whether it's you know black lives matter whether it's volunteering whatever it is you know but i think you know do it in a way that It produces more positivity than that can be i guess yeah certainly i'm totally with you on that man i think a lot of our identities kind of get wrapped up in um and things that are they're not

[01:13:46] Josh: Actually super important to us you know there's underlying meanings of things that are important to us that um aren't worth just completely throwing off by the wayside but we do get really consumed by these things you know me for example like i said if i start my day with like the wrong kind of news stories sometimes i'll get just obsessed with it and i'm just thinking about it all day and then um you know like when You're a hammer everything's a nail or whatever they say right like you're almost like seeing everything through the lens of like just politics or seeing everything through the lens of like oh so you must be uh this supporter you must be that supporter so yeah i think that's a i think that's a great one i think the world definitely needs more of that josh More of your podcast more of my podcast I'll try to do more episodes i've got a four days in a row i've got new guests so far well right now i'm doing good with it

[01:14:42] Josh: That's good no i'm so happy for you and i know um you're doing great things here and i um i feel really honored and grateful to you know and humbled just to be you know what person you've asked on to you know maybe i asked maybe i invited myself on but no i asked you i No i'm just joking um kind of but um No I am humbled to be part of this i think you know you are a really special person and i know you're such a positive life um in all of our lives and everyone that knows you and that you that you touch you know you make such a positive impact and um i love to see you wanting to grow that network and grow the positivity and you know just connect with people and you know you're such an amazing person so i'm really proud of you wow thank you josh so much i really appreciate that you know actually at our um thanksgiving friends giving i I felt i mean i was like almost in tears

[01:15:29] Josh: Of gratitude because i feel like you guys all i don't know if you planned it or what but you all you all took time to like individually Like tell me that i'm special Or like tell me you know like hey i love you or i appreciate what you're doing i feel like everybody found their moments throughout the day and throughout the night to like corner me and just tell me like i felt so full of love and you guys always do that Though you guys are always like very like let's not ignore this real feeling that's on the surface let's communicate it to these people um and like i said just by You all being your own authentic selves um it you feel like it gives me permission to be my authentic self too and that's why i've always been drawn to you guys since we all first met um i love i really admire your guys's um friendships and your family friendships it's like the fact that you allow other People on the outside like even just friends to be in on this like very family loving vibe

[01:16:29] Josh: It's incredible and i'm grateful to know you and your family and friends as well josh Awesome thank you all right buddy yeah thank you again for coming on um we'll go ahead and end this listener If you haven't drank any water today what's your problem man you got to drink some water and if you haven't stretched today you're out of your mind get some stretches on get some water get physically moving Love yourself stop consuming too much media content and check out Josh Geb on instagram

[01:17:01] Jacob: All right have a good day buddy all right talk to you soon bye right Hey guys i hope you enjoyed the episode If you could hit like subscribe follow share leave a comment send to one of your friends whatever you got i'd really appreciate it we'll see you next episode Knowledge is power is