The JYLP Episode 0110 with Rebecca Wild - Turning The Lights On

[00:00:02] Intro: Hello and welcome to the junkyard love podcast I listen to this morning um you had an episode on your podcast I forgive me I forget the name of um of the episode but it was about like things that helped with your depression and you kind of shared like this weekend that you did these things and it happened so I want to talk about all that sort of stuff um just sharing what I kind of was thinking in mind viewing your content and stuff is um write up my alley so anything that you're going to say is probably like perfect for my audience and me anyway just keep that in mind um and I also just like to do people who are intentionally coming to stuff if they're like oh this you know it has depression in the title and I'm dealing with depression that's pretty cool I'm going to check that out and get better whatever but I also really like the newcomer I like involving people who like the word depression grosses them out to even say they don't really deal with it maybe their like brother or husband deals with it but it's a weird thing to them so I want to include just kind of everybody so throw that out there keep it in mind I just uh I want to I don't want to dumb everything down but I want to include the newcomer to the stuff we're talking about so those are my thoughts um and I have a list of just pretty casual notes that I just popped into my head as I was listening to your stuff I'll reference them but otherwise I love the back and forth I can tell we're already just going to Vibe out and talk so perfect yeah no thank you for thank you for having me and it's so interesting you said about the newcomer thing because one of the things I was thinking about today is the type of people I want to work with the people who are like just dipping their toe in and being like I don't know how I feel about this but I want to know more um so that's really interesting that came up because that really resonates with me in terms of being able to sort of open that door gently without you know pushing in people's faces yeah do you find that um that is where you're drawn to is like that initial I feel like I'm drawn to kind of the initial either the sudden Awakening or like the sudden dude the way I've been

[00:02:03] Rebecca: Living is not working out for me I got to change something and then like what do you do there like what content do you watch what book do you read I'm always drawn to like that exact Catalyst what

[00:02:12] Jacob: About you are you entic I that's interesting I guess the kind of people I tend to attract the people who are sort of noticing a shift within them but haven't quite gotten into what it means yet um not necessarily the sort of I had

[00:02:28] Rebecca: A massive event and it's changed everything for me type people but maybe

[00:02:32] Jacob: That's to come who knows um but the type of content that I enjoy I mean similar to you anything spiritual psychological emotional well-being um just a researcher of life and the soul and everything like that a real truth Seeker you know um sort of obsessed with always learning and I like to work with people who are like that as well you know what I mean who have got

[00:02:57] Rebecca: That willingness whereas people who are like will you do the healing for me no

[00:03:01] Jacob: No honey that's not going to work yeah you got to take some responsibility for your pain I'm so sorry yeah it is that thing on the healing path is like there's this brutal truth right at the beginning that you really got to face it's like you got to do the work like you like it's you might think you're going to read a book or find some answers or watch a YouTube video and it's going to tell you exactly how you're going to get held and everything's going to be better but it's it's really uh time to start tring uphill is what happens when you're time to start healing so how did you okay let's go back I feel like I um I'm going to take us completely out of linear time this whole this whole episode I'm sure but uh um how did you even get into this stuff initially have you always thought like this have you always been into um you know mental health spirituality any of the things that you're into now what is kind of would you say is your initial intro to it yeah I mean I think I've always been

[00:03:55] Rebecca: Into it when I was like the as young as I can remember I had these in insane Dreams about a past I do past life Progression now so I know now that they Like it was a very important past life for me and just kept having and kept Having them I was probably four or five years old I don't know I remember saying to my mom I'm not normal I'm not I'm very different to everyone else here I don't fit in it doesn't feel right and my whole sort of childhood really felt like that I had quite a traumatic upbringing and then when in 2019 sort of a catalyst I think I sort of had chronic Trauma after trauma like the kind of

[00:04:33] Jacob: Horrible real if you knew the kind of stuff that has happened to me my body my soul my mind you'd be shocked but it's not stuff I need to like talk about so

[00:04:42] Rebecca: Much anymore because it's not now I'm like oh look all the things that happened for me great um but 2019 I

[00:04:47] Jacob: Would say was like quite a pivotal year

[00:04:49] Rebecca: For me I was in an abusive relationship at the time I had early stage cervical cancer I had massive issues with my womb I've seven surgeries that year I had postsurgical Amnesia I lost my entire Memory for 6 weeks like literally didn't even know who I was my name friends Anything crazy and then my dog who was like the my soul dog um went into to get neutered get spayed and they forgot to tie a tube and she literally bled out in my arms the next day and it just broke me and I think when you get to that point where you're like I cannot I cannot anymore um and I tried to take my life that time in the UK we have a suicide hotline called Samaritans and I phoned them and you know this is what I'm going to do I just needed to tell someone this is what I'm going to do I was very much ready to go and he asked my name I Rebecca and he said Brea where are you right now and I said oh I'm just I'm on the floor in the dark and he said will you just do one thing for me that's what I'm going to ask he said will you turn the light on and I did and I stayed and then I was like you know what I'm GNA go to Scotland on my own for a week sleep in my car and I did and I wait why Scotland why did you what was that I think I'd always had Like of calling to go um not really Knowing that it was like it's the spiritual capital of the UK but I didn't really know that so much I wanted to see The stone circles and connect with that kind of thing but I didn't know why I guess I want to go I think I just wanted To do something for me I was also very

[00:06:33] Jacob: Into Outlander at the time have you seen the Outlander series yeah I was like I'm gonna find Jamie he'll be there that's so funny yeah so I went and then this little village called

[00:06:47] Rebecca: Killing I was like driving through and I was like I'm not getting out of this what I wanted to get out of this no one spoken to me I was really hoping to have

[00:06:55] Jacob: That whole you know traveler experience where people speak to when you meet new friends and I was like exha fored I go into this Pub in Killin and um sit down at the bar to sort of sigh and the bartender comes up to me was hello you and it was as if we knew each other it was really surreal sort of boost bumpy

[00:07:13] Rebecca: Now I know that we obviously knew each other in a past life and that's why you

[00:07:16] Jacob: Get that sort of sensation and then this guy comes and sits next to me who's like full traveler mode you know like in traveler clothes big long beard wizard Vibes um and I was like I'm going to just talk to him he doesn't want to be talked to but I did talk to him and he was a bit irritated by at first and then he said have you been to the stone circle and I said oh what do you mean which one um and it was a stone circle in the village sort of you have to ask the pub people it's sort of a bit hush hush a little bit secret and we went to this Stone Circle I ended up spending the whole the rest of the evening with

[00:07:51] Rebecca: Him it didn't get dark in Scotland I think half 11 at night at that point um

[00:07:55] Jacob: And he just talked to me about spirituality and like Celtic mythology and just everything just kind of went oh yeah this is what I've known my whole life but somebody it's I'm not just completely losing my mind this is actually a thing um and since then it has grown and grown that's a bit longwinded but um I guess that's where it really kicked off and now I'm unstoppable with it yeah that's so awesome wow that's so cool um okay so what was it I'm just so curious like you went from this transition of you

[00:08:29] Rebecca: Know calling the suicide hotline that's

[00:08:31] Jacob: That's rock bottom right that's like you I don't have I don't have will to go on anymore this situation this life that I've built for myself cannot go any farther forward um and then how so how many days was it like okay so turning on the lights that was a huge thing that sounds like that like when they suggested that and then what was the transition like how did you get out of that curled up in a ball on the ground type thing into you know what let's make a move Let's Take Action cuz I think that's the big thing it's like going from getting like getting up off the floor is profound when you're when you're that depressed you know so what happened there I think yeah so

[00:09:10] Rebecca: Luna died February 13th 21 that year oh no 2019 sorry um and then I think I went in the May to Scotland so there was some

[00:09:23] Jacob: Time where I planning but I guess you

[00:09:24] Rebecca: Know right about it's in my book when You are at Rock Bottom there's nothing there's nowhere else to go so you can just sit there and then and then at one moment there'll be like an arm that just lifts up or a leg or there's this tiny little spark within that's like one more [ __ ] try go on just do it you know and it's like I think that tiny little Slither of Hope was like just this just one more just one more um and I live like that for a really long time actually I've lived in living in a in an abusive relationship and having had years and years of childhood Chronic trauma I was in that state of

[00:10:05] Jacob: Survival mode all the time and I think you get pretty good at dealing with really horrible [ __ ] um so I think in that when everything just absolutely got when you know all happened so intensely at once that year I think it was just a matter of come on you're used to big things like this just one more step one more minute one more breath and then yeah unfolded that's crazy it reminds me of I just it makes me think of have you seen that movie um hacksaw Ridge it's like an army movie it's a this guy basically he like refuses to carry a weapon the entire I'm going on a Sidetrack this is not important but he refuses to carry a weapon the entire time it's like something moral for him it's just a value that he has everybody makes fun of him but then this bad War happens and he ends up like with no weapon he ends up one by one dragging people's bodies to safety um and he just keeps saying just one more he saves one life goes out there with another gun without a gun goes out there gets what just one more just one more and just keeps do doing its work so um that was such a stupid tangent to go on I'm sorry it was I love film references as well you got to keep bringing in yeah it reminds me of that though I just love that I think that's such a beautiful moment that like whatever that magic bit of hope that that comes through that little speck of light you know like I've had my own experience with those where you're just just done your brain's just cooked dude you're like not loving yourself

[00:11:35] Rebecca: You don't really see a way out and then somehow there could be this little sliver of hope so for me um uh a thing that was really profound for me

[00:11:44] Jacob: When I finally made this transition was almost this uh sudden like almost like telling myself no in my head like I almost had to like detach so I heard you say something um in one of your podcasts you basically I think you said um this isn't me this is my nervous system or something like you were basically like separating you from your depressed version of you um and uh I would love to expand on that because I did something along those lines and it was really

[00:12:11] Rebecca: Profound for me to actually start basically talking to myself and like

[00:12:16] Jacob: Questioning these thoughts are coming up and I'm used to be afraid of them I didn't even want to face them but now I'm like looking I'm staring them right in the eyes and going no like this is this is not working out I don't want to do this I don't want to think like this no I don't want to talk to myself stuff like that know that's not helpful all these sorts of things and it was very very profound so I would love for you to expand on what like what that looked like for you cuz I love how you word it is like this is my this is my nervous system talking not me yeah I think it can be so empowering to realize that you are not your mental illness it's just something that's happening to you right now um You are so much more than that and one of my favorite things that I say is you are so much more than how you think about yourself when you're afraid because that fear just you know it can dictate so much of how you live and I think it's yeah it's so important to be able to move away from that and it's been a long Learning Journey

[00:13:04] Rebecca: For me um but that going back to sort of that I guess Scotland Luna dying type

[00:13:10] Jacob: You know that horrible time I had that's

[00:13:13] Rebecca: Actually when I started my Instagram

[00:13:15] Jacob: Account um well properly started it and and what I decided I'm going to go on this detox and I'm going to do Fitness and I'm going to be accountable online nobody's watching but I don't care this is what I'm going to post and I guess maybe it was there that the little the little sort of shifts forward of how I approached myself did give me confidence because people would reach you know I guess back in 2019 we weren't quite as open even though it's not that long ago it's still the way we've evolved as a society about talking with about feelings and things um I think people was say oh Rebecca it's so helpful when you write about this because this is what I'm going through and then it was like okay this is this is cool I can

[00:13:59] Rebecca: Talk about this and writing for me has been so empowering and um so cathartic and so healing and sort of going back to what you're saying about how did I learn to start talking to myself better

[00:14:10] Jacob: Journaling writing was a big part of that but also the community that I had through Instagram and people hate on social media but my little social media friendships almost are really what made me see that I was valuable and I was worthy I didn't have that in my personal in my real life if that makes sense and I definitely used social media as a bit

[00:14:34] Rebecca: Of a crutch for me whilst I got through 2019 and then left my abusive relationship 2020 and then you know really that summer completely sort of really found myself outside of the internet and on my own terms but yeah I guess that was where that was how I started doing it which is probably wouldn't work for everybody I would recommend that for most people right okay so you started just posting like fitness Journey type stuff just holistic here's here's what I'm going through like were you cuz you're very um uh like

[00:15:09] Jacob: Personal and welcoming and you're very uh vulnerable in like such an elegant way on your social media now did it start out like that for you or what was it like when you started out yeah so it it didn't start out as Fitness as per se it started out as like a photo with the essay underneath is what I still do now which is like you know this is how I'm feeling everyone in on the internet here here's what's you know what I mean like completely oversharing um and now I process a little bit more before I post things but it very much was just what Journal you know this is my diary this is my online diary and oh there's actually people looking at this now and then I'm I started doing the fitness thing and posting a little bit more um Fitness type stuff and people love a I love a you know bikini pick or an ABS pick and that obviously that then brings different people in but I had um do you know Kayla iten or it signs she's an Australian Fitness um Fitness I don't know what you'd call it influencer she influencer is such a weird word but yeah it's probably the best word yeah I don't think I know I think I've heard of her well she posted me on her story and then I got like 10,000 followers overnight and from there it just sort of snowball a bit and then it stopped a few years ago I haven't really had a big growth of follower since and it's fine I don't need that um anymore at all I'm absolutely love where it is but no I think I think really it's the personal essays that is where I've sort of been

[00:16:33] Rebecca: Like oh cool I can have a voice for me

[00:16:36] Jacob: And that's okay and people kind of like this side of me and now I can like this side of me too yeah the um dude the I resonate so much with the you said oversharing I think was a word you used and I definitely have done that too many times um but it's that's the crazy thing about social media and um you know podcasting and I even with all my Artistic Endeavors there's so stuff that I share I mean over half the time there at least maybe not when I post it but the day after or a couple days after I rewatch it I relisten and I'm just embarrassed and it's just like this not only impostor syndrome but you know there's some level of cringe um I think that just comes with the territory on social media but I will say my older podcast episodes like I started this in 2019 and listening back like if you if you strapped me to this chair and made listen back to like some of my first 50 episodes it would just be excruciating

[00:17:32] Rebecca: For me um but I'm so glad I did it

[00:17:35] Jacob: Because yeah like I know it doesn't Define me so it helps me grow in all these ways I see all these ways that I've just like learned how to conduct myself in such a different way um I came from a good place so that's like I don't need to judge myself I was L just trying to help people even if I said weird and cringey embarrassing things or whatever um and I think it sets the stage for and you probably find this in your work when you're vulnerable when you're honest when you're authentic I know it's like such a overused word on podcast but it's it's real when you're authentic it now leaves room for them to be authentic it it leaves the room so I shared my traumas and stuff years back on my podcast and it's like sometimes I think about I'm like I don't like those up there it feels it feels vulnerable but then people come on and they talk about theirs and I'm like oh thank goodness I you know I set the stage for real authentic vulnerability I would I would hate to have a guest come on and be open and honest and feel embarrassed in any way so um yeah I don't know I think like a lot of the stuff that we share online even though are personally it could feel a little a little embarrassing I think it's a net good and I think it's encouraging people to like hey you don't have to get 100 likes or be like a super model or be like uh you know you don't have to have six-pack abs to post something online it's I think it's for everybody I think it's a it's a diary it helps us it helps other people and it's just it's a direct cleans into our real selves you know it's social media is pretty cool absolutely I think brne Brown calls it a vulnerability hangover and yeah that's the one um which it's so interesting because like since I since my fitness era um I don't do Fitness anymore because I now have chronic joint issues which means Fitness is not a

[00:19:18] Rebecca: Thing anymore sadly for me um but since

[00:19:21] Jacob: Then I've had like my poetry era my photography era my black and white era um do you know what I mean like and I'm it's very much just like a little bit of an experiment now and I got to this head space where I was like do you know what this online account is my art gallery and I can put up whatever I want in my art gallery doesn't matter if anybody else likes it or sees it's just a

[00:19:46] Rebecca: Space for me and I'm very like is

[00:19:49] Jacob: Nostalgic the right word I don't know I quite like to go back and read through how was you know how was 2018 Rebecca how was and I get to see exactly what how I was processing what I was writing and sometimes actually I did it the other day I was like d i was good at writing then that's cool you know and when you write at the time you think oh God that was awful and no one's going to see it and no one's going to care and you go back and you're like huh I like that nice yeah it's always impressive have you ever had anybody repeat back something that you've said or written and you're like that's pretty good they're like you said that I did when yeah it's difficult when you've got like I'm sure you'll feel was saying so many creative Outlets like this is my second podcast you know I've got hundreds of YouTube videos that I've been filming since I was 12 years old um I've got hundreds of Instagram posts and blogs and everything and I'm like I don't even know what's on any of them anymore like shortterm memory is not that I know I uh I think about like

[00:20:49] Rebecca: That period I was just mentioning when I was first uploading episodes whatever there's like a little bit of cringe there's a there's also a lot at the same time as the embarrassment there's so much love for that version of myself too like I'm proud of that

[00:20:59] Jacob: Version of myself you know paradoxically all these things exist um but uh um I think back where was I going to go with it apparently nowhere profound um oh yeah that's what I was going to say I think back to like when I initially had because um a lot of like my initial podcast episodes I was going through like a profound Awakening and I didn't freaking know that I really was when I kind of did but like I didn't I had a I had it could be I basically an unexpected Kundalini Awakening um when I was 26 and I was not like spiritual I was not trying to do any of that thing had no idea what uh like it didn't wasn't like someone who studied Enlightenment I didn't meditate I didn't I just I basically suddenly got into all this

[00:21:52] Rebecca: Stuff started doing a ton of meditation ton of breath work ton of yoga smoking a ton of weed so I was basically like this Like insane basic psychosis let's say of to some extent um unawakening so it woke a lot of beautiful things to me as well but um anyway a lot of the content and stuff I was making me having this artist Alias is like really gives me in my mind this excuse to like no dude you got to be weird you got to push the edge you got to push the boundaries and sometimes some of the stuff that I put out I'm like dude you're not going to have any friends after this the stuff that you're saying sometimes but um but I love that that aie say that sounds that's a very interesting way of looking at it like it gives you that sort of permission to play in that sense I think there's something there's definitely something to that there is so I experienced I was I started out my artist thing was a um I started out DJ Kronos with DJing was basically the start of my thing and then I always worked on my own art but I didn't have so much of a everything kind of felt like it got shuffled into DJing and so I wanted to like make a name for my art outside of my DJ name so I actually came up with um around that time I had like a new uh social media artist DJ identity that I kind of launched and it was just really cool um obviously it's not a big deal to anybody but me but it was super cool to see how free my mind suddenly was like there's I have all these bounds where it's like these people have seen me at shows they've like they know me as a DJ and so anything I put out after like you know like your Martin Garrick goes on his social media page and starts talking about Mental Health and be like you know play some house music buddy what are you like why are you talking about this so it was kind of cool to like revamp and and resend this new this new version of myself and my Artistry but there's something cool about social media when it comes to that like seeing yourself in a way that you maybe aren't right now but you could be it really helps expand us social media for creative and spiritual people is so fun it's yeah it's sick I agree I agree yeah um I took us on a side quest there I'm sorry again oh uh let's back up so you've mentioned your chronic health issues a couple times um in some of the stuff that you went through I want to kind of swoop up some people who might be listening who maybe are in those similar boats or they have people around them who uh who might be kind of lending an ear to whatever they're listening right now so if you don't mind would you mind kind of giving me a general like so you had these chronic things you have these like abusive things happening to you and then and you started to heal what did that look like what did you do how did you face it before you even started healing I'm just super interested in all of it yeah so in terms of healing do you mean like the emotional healing yes and uh of course I'm always really fascinated with that like initial like how did you finally start facing it or admitting that it was real that it was um something that um didn't Define you um yeah so I think like leaving my abusive relationship ended a long cycle of me being squashed by people bigger than me and me thinking that was very Normal um and I think 2020 for me and I

[00:25:13] Jacob: Feel guilty saying it was the best year of my life um because I literally took myself out on dates I went for walks I you know when we locked down obviously was a bit different but I still was going for walks I moved to the ocean um I was on my own I just completely immersed into my own space of who am I and there's something in my book as well I talk about dating yourself and I have this list that's called the Getting to Know Yourself list so it was literally like when you meet somebody for the first time you want to know every little thing about them every time you work every weird thing they do every little Hobby and habit and I was

[00:25:56] Rebecca: Like why have I never done that for me so for example a couple of things on my list is like I love to watch the end credits of films I don't know why I do it but I do um I always sniff milk when I open a milk I always sniff it and it's

[00:26:09] Jacob: Just something I do habitually I don't know why it happens um other things I learned loads of different music that I didn't really like so like classical piano music as well as like Disney and pop so um it's like fun stuff like that where I'm like oh who is this cool person I get to know and I get to discover about and like oh I don't actually like this thing and I love wearing tight clothes and I shouldn't feel guilty for that and it's fine that I do it's actually a lot to do with oxytocin that gets released from pressure to the skin but a little science fact for you there um so I think it was a matter of literally dating myself and I absolutely swear by that um in giving yourself time and that's why I think that everybody needs to be intentionally single for at least some part of their life to know themselves I really believe that yeah I mean some people never ever have that that experience some people are dating uh you know since middle school and they never really go through go through any sort of breakup that's always insane to me how so do you think this was born you clearly were spending time with yourself in this in this instance right like was that were you with friends were you on your phone a lot or were you actually like spending time with yourself it sounds like just with myself and Taylor Swift actually a hell of a lot oh damn I was doing like this is went before my health got really bad and I was walking like 5 miles a day I was working out like crazy um so exercise and walking and then I'd be on this beach I would just sit on the beach and I would just be listening to I can't remember which album was Taylor Swift had released like the year before or something but really just remember that being very poignant in that for that

[00:27:48] Rebecca: Year for me um I think maybe folklore maybe that was around that year I don't know but um yeah and so that was the

[00:27:55] Jacob: Coral element and then when lock down who released and stuff and I moved back home I did a load of sort of moon rituals that was became a very big part of my identity in the sort of spirituality side really flooded in then um did some path life work did some

[00:28:14] Rebecca: Medit you know got into meditation then got into yoga then so it was yeah very

[00:28:20] Jacob: Much intentionally within and then also the communication through Instagram and things but more with myself and I think journaling and I was making a lot of like Tik toks then being again bit cringey but like seriously honest about like I'm having a really terrible day or I'm dancing in the shower today with my clothes on because I can um you know and it was just it was almost like the thing that kept me going was just keep randomly posting and as something might take yeah I like that there's something about posting on social media that's so freeing um as much as it has its own self- constrictions it can be so freeing like you think you know something about me you didn't know I could do this you know it's fun um it's very interesting too and I love all the different uh because like you found me on threads are you active on threads often I don't think I dove too deeply on your threads it was mainly your Instagram I think I've like I go on threads just very occasionally and just sort of stalk on there a little bit say what's going on but I haven't really I still find thread a little bit scary it reminds me too much of Twitter which frightens me a bit dude Twitter is just insane nowadays I can't even I get sucked into it and I have to snap out of it and go dude get off your phone cuz I'll be watching like I'll be just oh let's check out what's going on you know let's see what elon's crazy ass has to say today and then suddenly I'm like watching my 18th video of high schoolers fist fighting and I'm like whoa dude what am I doing like why am I why do I watch that right now I have so many other things I could be doing um but it's like that but I like the there's like a flavor like a scent to all social media in a sense you know um and I find that fascinating threads has an interesting one I joined it just at the beginning just poking around when they first announced it and then I started kind of just like sharing some random poems on there um started following a couple poetry accounts and if you if you're active on there quite a bit and consistent of course they you know go figure they reward someone who sits on their phone all the time uh but it does start bringing you to other people like I had a few months where most days I had like back and forth conversations with other poetry people I would share poems people would like comment their poems in response like it was just this fun poetry party for many months on there and I just like I don't think you could get that on Twitter maybe it's not a world I'm into on Twitter but um there's more High School fist fights on my Twitter feed than there is poetry so um but yeah so um posting on social media you were posting on social media what was the last thing that I asked do you remember

[00:30:59] Rebecca: Um Jacob I have a terrible short-term memory so I know I'm the host I'm the

[00:31:03] Jacob: One who's supposed to remember I'm like you start talking about things that excite me so I'm like let me let me mention that you were talking we were talking I remember I talked about tlor Swift um and about you asked me about was I on my own was I on my phone when I was doing the healing work there go right yeah and then you gave me a blank space where my mind used to be jlor joke um sorry uh okay so yeah so the reason why I asked about that is like I the amount of people that like you probably experience it like you get into an Uber or you go into a gas station or a grocery station the amount of people that like are always either on the phone or they're always listening to something and I'm guilty of definitely like I love listening to podcast or an audiobook or whatever like I'll go grocery shopping with a headphone in but it's

[00:31:52] Rebecca: Invaluable for me to remember oh yeah I

[00:31:55] Jacob: Need some time with just me with no headphones I don't need to scroll through social media right now I even did it last night I had realized oh all day I've just been pulverizing my brain with info that I think is super important so I went for a walk last night and took my headphones out and realized by the end of my walk like dude my body is just so much more calm just from taking my headphones out um so can you speak on like the importance of spending a little bit of time truly alone I would love to emphasize that yes so actually I've just been on a solo trip to Thailand as you know as everybody can see on my Instagram because it's there every single day and I'm sick of the content now too but something it really taught me because I had no internet I turned my phone to internet free like the entire time basically and turn it on for 10 minutes the internet on 10 minutes a day let my loved ones know I was still alive and that was pretty much it um and what it taught me that there was like well Rebecca your phone is distracting you from all of your potential we need to thought this out and I'm quite a disciplined person so once I'm like this is what we're going to do I will do it so actually since I've been back which I came back mid December and it's now January 8th I have had my phone set up I don't know if you use the focus modes on your on do you have iPhone yeah so the focus modes I've set up a custom one and I called it Hol day and I can't access Instagram so I can't social media um WhatsApp anything I can only access text from my immediate family which I don't get text from that often and my boyfriend that's it so I basically don't have my phone on weekends I don't have my phone on past 6:30 p. m. in the evenings so I forced myself to have solo me time and then weekends is if because if I don't have my phone there you know how you mentioned earlier about W that when the creativity flows in when you had that sort of Instagram Alias that's

[00:33:48] Rebecca: Almost like what it is for me without my

[00:33:50] Jacob: Without the internet so I think I said to you the other day on Instagram I was like I'm terrible at replying on here because I'm barely on Instagram anymore because I'm I schedule everything so I'm not actually on there people think I'm people are messaging like oh Rebecca just I will reply in three days when I come back on um so it's forced me to be in that space with myself and now that I'm used to it I actually hate having my phone on I'd like rather have it off I never thought I'd get to that space But I have um and just having time with me now is so critically important that I just I'm so glad that I really fully made that step from like a strict discipline point of view and um and went into that space because there's so much

[00:34:36] Rebecca: To gain I mean I'm a meditation junkie and I will sing it from the hilltops um

[00:34:40] Jacob: But that is you know without having that time where I allocate this is no phone time this is dedication to the self to the soul to reading to learning to growth and to writing my books or writing courses or whatever is my creative projects are um yeah without that I wouldn't be making any progress I wouldn't be growing so yeah I mean we're complete you know everybody says in some sort of way we're such guinea pigs for these phones you know it's like I think it's 2007 or 8 2007 I think the iPhone came out I mean that's not that long ago that's pretty crazy it's like everyone's entire lives now you know so um like being Simon cynic talks about he's a like a leadership motivational teacher guy you may have heard of him but um he this thing he comes out on stage he had this opening like motivational talk or whatever and he had his phone in his hand and he was basically talking like as he's talking with his hands and it's just in his hands he's not using it then he points out like you guys notice my phone's in my hand the whole time and everybody's like yeah we notice and he's like that's a percentage of your attention you know like if I don't just put this thing fully away in my pocket there's like some level of distraction not only

[00:35:50] Rebecca: For me but for you guys as you're talking to me like if you're talking to someone and they're like occasionally glancing down at their phone like every every time they glance down it's a loss of con connection with the person that you're talking to um and I think

[00:36:01] Jacob: That we're like we got to implement our own boundaries with our phones because like it's a bright colorful magical Casino box of awesome like it hey do you want to look at a video of anything you ever wanted like cool cuz it's in your pocket you know like it makes sense that we're addicted to the dang things but um yeah it's super important I found that you know along these worlds of like healing from depression mental

[00:36:24] Rebecca: Health meditation um you know leaking

[00:36:28] Jacob: Into like the self and identity as far as I'm concerned I think many people are unknowingly radicalized by their phone and um I think that like you could be like the things that are super important to us in our day-to-day lives have changed because of our phones and I think that your phone could be telling you all day this is important this is the most important and there's part of your identity that will latch on to that and then suddenly you're spending seven hours like with your with your mind into your magic rectangle here and you're not living your life you know like you're not like actually interacting with the people around you know like there's just cause there's there is things that are like important to to care about you can't just bury your head in the sand for everything but I just feel like it's so important it seems like such a low hanging obvious fruit to just hey man is really as important put your phone in the other room sometimes set limits on your phone set the um I like how you did it too Rebecca because often what we'll hear I don't know if you hear this is people like dude I can't I just want to go to a flip phone I just want a flip phone I want to get rid of this iPhone and that like would make life pretty difficult to navigate sometimes you just need GPS whatever but I like you're smart about it's like you set limits you stick to them so you have it go off at a certain time like it's what you say like 6:30 at night you don't have anybody responding to you yeah I think those are super helpful um in your world of like coaching and dealing with other people's mental health is this a big deal for people is this something that's like profound for you to point out to them um is this something that you would recommend for a lot of people is like hey man really become aware of what you're consuming on your phone I think a lot of people don't see it as a problem um I think that people use it and there's definitely a place for this we use all kinds of distractions to numb ourselves from feeling pain from feeling suffering um and that's a whole topic that we can go into I'm reading Fab book

[00:38:29] Rebecca: On that the minute called the road L travel by Scott PE I don't if you've read it um it's brilliant um it talks

[00:38:34] Jacob: About avoiding suffering but I think from a point of like the phone thing so one of my big unhealed or unworked through triggery spaces is around food and around I think I did actually I've got a couple of reals out on Instagram about this my Thailand trip um I really wanted to force myself to sit with my food and eat my food without being on my phone or reading a book or being distracted or watching TV big one

[00:39:00] Rebecca: For me um so one of my extra rules as well as my phone boundaries is I have to

[00:39:05] Jacob: Have one present meal a day which is where I sit with nothing with no one with just my food no phone and I just sit and eat my food and it's scary and it makes me uncomfortable and there's little my eating disorder voices around and I'm like that's interesting hey nice to see you know being The Observer again to those kind of things um but it is like I think people don't see it as a problem and you have to have the break from it to realize that it is a problem

[00:39:29] Rebecca: You know what I mean I probably didn't see how big a problem was for me to I was in Thailand and I had that real two and a half week break from my phone and I was like wow I am I am completely

[00:39:37] Jacob: Myself without it and when I'm with it it takes away a little part of me um as well as you know both you and I have said we love the option to be creative online but it has to come with boundaries and it has to come with the space of still being able to be yourself outside of your phone um so yeah I mean it's definitely an issue I just don't think people realize how big an issue is until you stop yeah for real yeah it's definitely a the way that the algorithms are made now as well is like if you're not careful you suddenly the tool that we have here like the tool is using you if you're not careful in this weird way like in this very confusing kind of never before like it's new to our species to have something that like the tool takes away our attention from from the you know Perce CE purpose of it initially have you read dopamine Nation CU she talks about it in that book quite a lot dopamine Nation who wrote that do you remember I feel like I've heard of it yeah it sounds like a familiar term anyway I haven't read it but I think I have heard of it's good from a point of realizing that actually there is an addictive element to the phone use it's not completely all me because I'm a big fan of but take a little bit of the resp responsibility away from you not all of it a little bit away from because there so there's always other factors involved and sometimes you know life is too big and you need a distraction um but the addiction part is so real yeah do you um uh there's a podcast do you listen to Chris Williamson from modern wisdom yeah I love his podcast yeah he lives in Austin now I'm pretty sure actually we go to the same haircut person so I am sure that he yeah um fun fact uh he has this thing that I loved when I heard it he said it uh it was just a couple months ago he basically said there's there's a dopamine Chris and there's like an oxytocin Chris and he just like he just tries to become really aware of like what version of himself is he feeding or like feing for or whatever and since he said that I try to notice that in myself and I you know just by noticing it doesn't mean that I solve it for sure sometimes I'm very aware

[00:41:38] Rebecca: That I'm having just a dopamine Jacob day and I'm just you know just it is what it is you know but the awareness is

[00:41:44] Jacob: Helpful like okay I'm just trying to like get a hit okay I got done with that thing and like I'm really itching to eat food right now even though I just ate so I notice okay I'm just trying to get that dopamine hit and I'm actually not really Desiring these things as much so um hey what was that uh I want to back up what was that book that you mentioned that you're reading so I'm reading the road I think it's called The Road Less travel by Scott peek about suffering you said yeah so it's written 70s it's written in the 70s and he talks about like one of the biggest the biggest like challenges that we have as humans is that we think pain and suffering is this terrible awful thing that we each run away from whereas actually it's the cast list for growth and you'll Lally won't go anywhere without it um and so much of the culture that we're exposed to is how to suffer less and how to be happier and how you know actually and I think you and I had a brief chat about the power the book The Power of Now by a cart in terms of him saying well actually there's no such thing as any good or bad because it's all for your growth it's all for your development um and sort of sidetracking linking this in when I got to my Thailand trip I was like whoa I feel so guilty for this I'm in a five-star result I shouldn't be on this holiday I feel awful I should be doing I should I haven't suffered hard enough to be here I haven't worked hard enough to be here and I S of realized like maybe a week in I was like huh but I'm learning so much from this experience that it's almost there's almost suffering in the learning and isn't that fascinating and I was like and then reading the book at the same time the Power of Now book and thinking that it doesn't matter whether we perceive it as humans as good or bad it's here to give us growth and I think we just need to really lean into that and be with the suffering and be with the pain um and then there's there there's a difference between and Liz Gilbert who wrote Eat Pray Love and big magic she talks about this as well big magic is so good sorry to interrupt so good especially I think for creatives it's like oh it's like an such Alchemy in there it gives me chills as I'm I listen to un audible it gives me chills like multiple times it's so good she my idol she's I dedicated my last book to her um but it's talking about the um losing my train of thought here sorry big magic it's fine it was worth it it was worth it um pain of suffering versus come on Rebecca do you remember where I was I'm supposed to be helpful for this part too dude I do the same thing um you were kind of just giving me like a summary of the book it was talking about suffering um I think you're kind of talking about how people typ see suffering go Liz Gilbert talks about depression being different to pain and depression being like stagnation of pain um and grief being movement through of pain um in terms of and I really relate to this in my own in personal grief and you know I've lost a baby I've lost dog my best friend died um and then seriously bad breakups that kind of thing and the pain you that I feel when I'm geving it's it's like awful and you rock bottom but it also you sort of know that you're moving through it's this really I don't know if anybody else experiences this but it's this really weird state of like Comfort I feel with grief when I

[00:45:06] Rebecca: Lost my baby I was like this is the worst thing ever but also I feel so at

[00:45:11] Jacob: Peace with this whereas when I've been in depression I'm like this is the worst thing ever I don't know if I can survive this I think I'm going have to the only way out is to die it's the only I can do um but that's because there's like a stagnation of that suffering because I'm not allowing myself to actually work with it I'm just resisting it lot of the time because you can't see any other way and a lot of that is biological um another book recommendation is probably recommendation number 60 so far of this podcast is change Your Brain Change Your Life which again totally altered my perception of my mental health is not the same as who I am um and my brain isn't wired right because I had really

[00:45:50] Rebecca: Serious Early Childhood trauma and

[00:45:52] Jacob: That's okay so let's figure out how to work a life around that and be a bit more gentle with myself about how I you know how I work my life and that it's different to other people and that's okay um and yeah I guess sorry tangent there but I think pain and suffering is a fascinating concept yeah no well summarized there too that's I feel like if I was listening I would just definitely want to dive into that book and if I remember I say this often sometimes I forget I will try to include every book that was mentioned in an Ideal World I like to mention it in include the link down below so fun day with this one I know I'm listening back and then I get sidetracked so I'm like well maybe I need a copy of that book and then suddenly I'm look looking for the book and I'm not eding um but yeah dude I think the line I'm always really fascinated I think Buddhism and stoicism that they talk about like suffering and acceptance is

[00:46:41] Rebecca: That's been like one of the biggest lessons for me is realizing how

[00:46:45] Jacob: Often in my life that I've made things worse by not accepting it by not working with what's really going on because I'm I'm actively like I'm trying to form some identity in that moment of being the victim the sufferer you know and just how freeing it really is to just how impossible sometimes and it's actually hilarious how impossible is sometimes when you notice like there I am freaking so ticked off that things aren't going my way but what am I going to do you know and you're like laughing at how mad you are I don't know if you ever get to those experiences but it really is a it's a powerful tool and it's something that I find that a

[00:47:19] Rebecca: Meditation practice is like one of the

[00:47:21] Jacob: Biggest helpful things ever because it said you know that line between stimulus and response it expands that Gap to where like you notice okay here's a bad thing that's happened and here I am complaining about it here I am like uh trying to text all my friends about it I'm trying to make a video for social media about it I'm trying to be like look what happened to me whatever actively making it worse you know and so it's a it's a profound thing so I would love for you to speaking to someone right now who this might be something that they don't really deal with like I'm trying to think of myself back when I first started exploring this sort of stuff and realizing oh I'm making myself the victim I'm making things worse than they have to be what is kind of the magic there what is I mean obviously the initial awareness right like noticing when you're when you're having those conversations with yourself or you're stacking it on yourself or you're noticing um even like you said like you're identifying yourself with your mental health you're identifying with your thoughts um what what do you what comes up in your conversations with uh with clients and people that you talk to in that realm like that initial that initial first noticing I think one of the tricks that I definitely have is take notice of the things that really piss you off whether that's you know um there's this psychologist who post things online that used to really trigger me about basically taking responsibility for your your [ __ ] and I was like no she doesn't

[00:48:55] Rebecca: Know what I've been to she doesn't how bad it was for me that's not you know and now I look at it and I laugh because I'm like I see I see and so

[00:49:05] Jacob: Taking notice of the things that tick you off because I think that's a really good space for you to actually have a good chat with yourself self-reflection obviously is like the big key um and I think a way to really and being wrong and being okay with being wrong and I think a really good way that I practice this is within my own interpersonal conflicts so something I'm very good at doing is if I'm having if somebody's light back I really didn't like how he did that I'll sit and okay um and I'll reflect back you know so you didn't like how I put my shoes away whatever it is um and then they go yeah yeah I didn't like that and I'd be like okay you know what I was really messy I see how I was really messy now yeah that was actually just really lazy of me I don't know why I did that and I will just be like brutally upfront honest in that situation and it feels like really like Li rating I'm like wow I did something wrong and I admitted it that's so cool I think it often comes I don't know I this is like my bro science theory for talking modern wisdom um lingo here but I don't know if it comes from people who couldn't get things wrong as a kid I definitely couldn't get anything wrong as a kid um so maybe like as an adult admitting that you've got flaws can sometimes feel really scary um more than just uncomfortable but scary

[00:50:24] Rebecca: Because maybe you know subconsciously you're thinking what are the consequences for me um your subconscious

[00:50:29] Jacob: Is still tapped into childhood stuff you know there like I said there's always a space for um an external Factor playing a part in the way we behave but yeah self-reflection is big and I think my little Moon rituals which is let's say it's like two hours on a full moon or a new moon of me just sitting with my journal with like really Trippy Music on and like purple lights um and like some kind of incense or something and I'll be like writing like um questions for myself hard-hitting brutal truth telling questions that I'm like don't want to answer this doesn't feel right I don't like it um it is just having to be super duper honest and it and I think being okay with being wrong being okay with making mistakes and not being perfect that's fine yeah uh yeah be being okay with making mistakes is actually like seems like such a simple sentence but how often are we not okay with like okay [ __ ] I did that and now I gotta now I got to deal with it you know it's like or we defend what we did uh we jump in we're like well I

[00:51:35] Rebecca: Did that because when I was 10 my dad did this and you know and it's and it's and a lot of that stuff can be very true

[00:51:42] Jacob: And it could also be like right there like you don't have to remove it you don't have to deny it but it's also you know so what are you goingon to do make it worse well like who's going to take care of this besides you know yeah so it's just this summer just gone had like a real beautiful um

[00:51:59] Rebecca: Meditation type experience I really believe that if you do a 45 minutes medit 45 minute meditation it has the

[00:52:05] Jacob: Same power of a psychedelic trip I just I really stand by that I will die on that Hill um but I had this sort of experience over summer where I was really dragging myself through this pain cycle right I um I've been sober since 2021 I relapsed at the beginning of summer this year 2024 well we last year now um and I sort of got into this real nasty place with it where I for probably six weeks I was like I'm this terrible person I've failed I [ __ ] up at everything um you know it's his fault it's you know you shouldn't have said that and that wouldn't have happened and I just got myself into this real fun it's fascinating to experience fascinating and then I get into my real deep in this when I really said no we're

[00:52:50] Rebecca: Committing to meditation now I'm not [ __ ] around with this um so I'm then doing 45 minutes twice a day and I come out of this thinking I can choose not to

[00:53:00] Jacob: Suffer about this huh that's so cool I can choose to just let all of this go today and I literally did it was like an overnight thing I actually filmed a podcast the day after it happened um and I was like in this podcast I'm like wow I can't believe what just happened to me it was amazing um so it is very much really forcing yourself to do the work sitting with it admitting that you [ __ ] up and then moving on you know yeah that's um it's so crazy what

[00:53:28] Rebecca: Meditation can do sometimes it's it

[00:53:31] Jacob: Really I mean it's a pretty just as as a base statement even somebody who doesn't really meditate that much it's pretty easy to imagine kind of like okay so you're sitting there crisscross applesauce um is that a term that you

[00:53:41] Rebecca: Guys had in the UK actually with Cris cross I love it that's so funny I said it I was like you probably don't know yeah that's a in elementary school like you sit down you cross your legs crisscross applesauce I no idea why we said it but um American lingo um but anyway so okay so like you're sitting in the meditation you know close your eyes open them whatever sitting crisscross applesauce

[00:54:02] Jacob: And then you can imagine yourself from the from the Eagle's Nest right the 30,000 point view like I think most people can sit down and they can kind of like imagine themselves in that moment um uh the like the freedom of like you're sitting there you are the one meditating right so like how are you all able to see a view of yourself from above like that alone I think is pretty like and you could really manipulate that and work with that as you meditate but just what I'm talking about is like just the separation again like the initial separation from you're sitting there a second ago you could be thinking all these things and suffering like you're you know replaying the past or whatever it is um or you're thinking about the future and you're stressed about that anxiety versus depression you can as a third option BAS basically observe that's going on from like the 30,000 point uh view the metac conscious like you can see yourself doing that and I think people having that as an option like just like that little bit of practice is such an Open Door um it's such a like a room for possibility um and what I wanted to uh I was I was trying to more elegantly weave that in um but I wanted to ask you about how do I simplify this basically here's how we'll do it if someone who doesn't meditate but they're depressed they're listening right now like they're depressed they've got it they've got it

[00:55:39] Rebecca: This far they're watching this clip whatever the heck it is but they're depressed and they've tried meditation

[00:55:43] Jacob: And they've said I can't meditate I'm 2 ADHD um that's always our that's

[00:55:48] Rebecca: A meditation teacher favorite uh response uh or you know I'm not my mind is too crazy or they sit down in like

[00:55:55] Jacob: Their own mind terrifies them so you know we all have that version of it too I've experienced that myself um we sit down to meditate and we're trying to like heal our depression I'm throwing that ball into your court Rebecca what does that have to do with anything like how does me meditating and sitting still

[00:56:13] Rebecca: Cure my depression yes oh my gosh I'm so glad

[00:56:16] Jacob: You asked me this because I really wanted to input here that one of my big triggers almost from you know what I was saying earlier was people being like Oh just meditate and you'll be fun he be like suck off like leave me alone

[00:56:29] Rebecca: Go away with your meditation [ __ ] um and I am very neur diversion as you can probably tell by how fast I talk and my meditation does not look anything like how I thought it was supposed to and yet

[00:56:41] Jacob: It still has these incredible effects so I'm not even [ __ ] you I will sit 45 minutes and my brain will just be talking about what I'm going to do to the front garden next year and how I'm going to plant this and what you and literally that is and I will be frustrated with myself with within it sometimes and being like come on you know just do some breathing and I'll have a couple minutes where I do and then it won't and then but now I'm

[00:57:03] Rebecca: Absolutely fine with that I run with it because it works for me um and I know proper meditation teachers even though I am one on insight timer um proper but would say well that's not real meditation and I'm like no maybe not

[00:57:17] Jacob: It's mindfulness more than anything but what it is me sitting with myself and how often do you get to do that on your busy crazy life now how often do you take that time um so I am very strict

[00:57:28] Rebecca: With myself now again insight timer does really help they have like I don't know if you use insight timer but they have a

[00:57:34] Jacob: Um a streaks feature now which for somebody who's neurod Divergent is really addictive so I'm like I am not missing a day um so that means that I will go on for one minute and meditate if that is what it takes one minute of deep breathing and that is that is

[00:57:48] Rebecca: Enough um and it's not you know for me

[00:57:52] Jacob: You got to get into doing it as regly as you can even if it's one minute day and you may not notice a difference for 3 months but you will be like hey

[00:58:00] Rebecca: I'm spending time with myself that is a really loving thing for me to do and

[00:58:03] Jacob: That little moment there that is where the difference is look at this loving thing I did for myself um and

[00:58:11] Rebecca: Again it's is a part of this in my book where it's like hey I made myself

[00:58:15] Jacob: Breakfast today look at how loving that was hey I had a shower today look at how loving that was that was something that you did for you and it may seem like it's just a habitual thing that you're supposed to do but you could have you could have not done that you could have stayed a bed all day but you didn't um you made that choice to love yourself even if it was for one minute or if it was 45 minutes and if your brain talked at you the whole time you were meditating you still showed up to yourself and that is where that slow healing that slow beginning to love yourself again comes in just in little tiny little pieces and you can do it a way that works for you like there's no read doesn't have to be so much structures like keep your brain calm and don't have any extra thoughts like I just don't believe in that at all and I've been doing for a long time and it's giving me these insane insights usually the morning after I meditate is when I get these incredible creative um or alchemistic type like Soul events um is

[00:59:08] Rebecca: Usually the morning after a really long meditation or whenever I really do it to be honest but um yeah it doesn't have to be the way that I think people think it has to be if that makes sense no it

[00:59:20] Jacob: Totally does I mean i' the biggest thing that I'm always fighting with people um not fighting with people but just like my initial ah well you might have misunderstood uh my smartass response when people are like I can't like I can't I just can't stop my thoughts I'm like well you're not supposed to stop your thoughts like it's okay to have thoughts you know um and that alone like that it's funny so many people have this misunderstanding

[00:59:44] Rebecca: About meditation I suppose I probably did at the beginning too like a lot of times these people are saying these things on the on the guided meditations

[00:59:52] Jacob: And my understanding of them was like I don't what do you what do you mean like what do you like your thoughts and like it just takes a while to kind of develop really even just the art of stepping away from your sticky thoughts and like just looking at them from over here like that

[01:00:09] Rebecca: Takes a little bit of meditation sometimes to even notice so yeah anybody who's like starting out meditation if you sit down and you're I don't get it it doesn't make sense for me do what

[01:00:18] Jacob: Rebecca said like one minute is profoundly better than zero minutes and your minute doesn't have to be completely still your minute doesn't have to be like you could be freaking wiggling around the whole time but are you like noticing what you're doing are you becoming aware of you know your senses your thoughts are you aware that you're in the room um so often we have

[01:00:37] Rebecca: This momentum I always notice this when I go for walks my practice walking is how quickly

[01:00:43] Jacob: Can I notice that I've just been like let's go I'm A to B I'm at a destination and then suddenly I'll notice and I'm like why am I walking fast dude I'm on a nice walk I don't need to be anywhere I'm just walking you know and

[01:00:55] Rebecca: Meditation helps you notice like you

[01:00:57] Jacob: Have this momentum of running everywhere with your personality and suddenly you go oh I can I can relax I could I could chill out I don't have to like be trying to arrive somewhere all the time I could just like OB observe what's going on I could just sit back into what's what's really happening what's um so what was

[01:01:17] Rebecca: Your journey with meditation like when did you first start meditating um

[01:01:21] Jacob: In what uh I know like the terminologies don't really matter but like what do you find is your common um teaching style like do you teach mindfulness do you teach um like a different and also I'm sorry I'm throwing another question in there what works for people who aren't used to meditating I love getting people who don't meditate at all maybe they've tried it doesn't work for them I love getting them like to try something else you know maybe it's breath work maybe it's a different type maybe it's uh you

[01:01:48] Rebecca: Know some yoga before so what helps

[01:01:51] Jacob: People and how did you um initially get into it okay so I think I started

[01:01:55] Rebecca: Meditation probably I was about 12 or 13

[01:01:57] Jacob: Um there's a monastery near me which I will go to sort of occasionally I used to go to quite a lot um but now as when I go now I'm like I just don't I don't Vibe with the way that you talk to us anymore actually um it's I've learned a lot about um Buddhism and I was a Buddhist for a year but I don't think I really knew it as I know it now um and I don't know that I align with it in the same way that I did and that's okay um but I've tried so many different types

[01:02:27] Rebecca: Of meditation I think that's something that's so important for people to know is that it's not just one thing um there are you know Z meditation is the choir of the mind which is a very Buddhist way

[01:02:37] Jacob: Of teaching things and being physically completely still which does not work for somebody you like me um I was at the monastery recently and my hips now will I have EDS so they will dislocate if I am in the wrong position for too long basically and I had to keep moving and the monk kept her me off and I'm like oh I can't tell you but if we carry on like this I'm going to be there's going to be an ulated my hip uh can we like no don't move um so it's like disate the other one and sit still let's see deal with accept the suffering accept the pain that's very much one end of the spectrum um and the other end is like literally walking meditations um mindfulness you know so cooking I think is a great one if you can cook and be totally with the food and totally with the Motions of your hands cutting the onion or whatever it is um I think that's such a crucial space for you to just again being with yourself being with the moment being present I think tips I would use is like I think insight timer is amazing and I know that I work for them but also there's so much on there I think if you haven't tried it David G and it's spelled David ji um is fantastic and his body scan is one that helped me through a severe episode of

[01:04:04] Rebecca: Anxiety for me because I was just with him with his voice with my body um and that I was just I played that I think my

[01:04:12] Jacob: Longest day I played it for eight hours straight my statistics said um when I was having a really bad time bless previous me um so I think it yeah find I think in is great find a way that works for you and have wiggle room with it and have a little bit of fun doing it you know it's not oh I have to meditate because people said it would make me feel better be like I'm choosing

[01:04:35] Rebecca: To meditate I don't know how it's going to work for me yet um I don't know if

[01:04:38] Jacob: It's going to be actually just 20 minutes of me stretching and in silence or whether it's going to be me sat listening to a guided teacher um be

[01:04:46] Rebecca: Going back to your question on what meditation do I teach the Insight time

[01:04:50] Jacob: Meditations I have up are very much affirmation based so like I will read you I've got one here actually I will read to you know I am so much more

[01:05:00] Rebecca: Than my trauma what happened to me does not define me I'm kind and gentle myself

[01:05:04] Jacob: After everything I've been through and I'll be saying these on the track basically um and you'll be listening to these as you do your breaths um but actually I don't that's not how I meditate I don't know how I ended up doing that I don't know what it just obviously that's what seem to flow with how I record um but it changes um what I produce and I'm always evolv

[01:05:26] Rebecca: So does that answer all the meditation

[01:05:28] Jacob: Questions I can't remember if I oh sure I mean it's an impossible task to answer my questions I'm a rambling man over here so you did you did wonderfully um

[01:05:36] Rebecca: Yeah I well I think with meditation there's so many different types and there is definitely times for different types because I feel like I had I had a

[01:05:46] Jacob: A you know a pretty long time like probably a good year or two where the positive affirmations were a lot of like I pretty much Start every morning with that sort of thing like I was just I was in a space where I was recognizing hey every morning when I'm waking up my dream world is not treating me good so I'm starting every morning off on this like negative mindset and I can't help it wait I can help it as soon as I wake up let's start just pulverizing it with positive stuff and uh you know that's that's not like a long-term thing but

[01:06:12] Rebecca: For me at that time in my life those are the sorts of meditations that work for me at least for like the morning until I can get into later on in the day and

[01:06:19] Jacob: Do different types of meditations um and I think I just love everything you said about like finding what works for you in all the different types because it's there's I just had this guy in the podcast and he was talking about um he's written 13 books and his thing was like you know someone might ask you know how do you write 13 books that's so much so many words blah and he basically broke it down as like I wrote 200 to 300 words a day and like that's it like that's the thing and so I've been like thinking about that a lot since I talked to him I even wrote like on my whiteboard 300 words a day and it's just basically like you can't write the whole book in one day dude you can't reach Enlightenment in one day you can't be the best meditator in the world in one day if it's your first day trying it what can you do you know like can you get can you get third three words today cool that's that's better than nothing and it's and I think finding something that actually speaks to you instead of just like because for some people maybe mindfulness just like trying to close your eyes open your eyes and just follow your breath so sometimes that's just not it for people and sometimes like I think what's important is for people to actually have like unexperienced

[01:07:31] Rebecca: That one like for newbies to meditation just introducing them to their five senses in like a slow you know um

[01:07:40] Jacob: Elegant like gentle way is like profound for people they've never really slowed down and just concentrated on a specific sense before um for people I think uh breath work like doesn't have to be the extreme Wim Hoff breathing but even just like typ in YouTube follow along breath

[01:07:58] Rebecca: Meditation or go on inside timer I'm sure there's tons of like is there is there breath work follow along on yeah I'm sure there's lows on there one I one I don't do on inside tourament but my favorite one is single nostril breathing

[01:08:09] Jacob: Um just it actually completely resets your brain and your brain breathing so it's great for when I'm working with people with anxiety as well can you tell me the trick for that for anybody listening yeah so uh you close off you start breathing in through your right nostril so close off your left nostril breathe in through your right close off your right breathe out through your left breathe in through the left close off the left breathe out through the right and it's that basically but it um if you believe in sort of the energy Concepts uh your right nostril is your masculine and your left is your feminine so ideally you want to have a if you're trying to get to sleep and you can't sleep you're supposed to um blow air out your nose and one of the nostrils will be stronger than the other and you want your left nostril to be the stronger one at night because that's your feminine Yin Cal um energy um so if it's in your if it's your right nostril you're still in work mode and you'd have a have a probably do some journaling yeah you need to get out of bed now I yeah I think uh breathing and breath techniques are really the ultimate I remember when I was young I had uh I had asthma when I was young what's funny is as I get older start to like redefine like what really is asthma like I don't know if we fully understood I think I was just having like panic attacks all the time um but I remember I had an uncle I was camping and it was like this vivid memory cuz I was like dying from this asthma attack I was stressing myself out so bad I remember I was sitting against a truck tire of like a Ford pickup and I was just panicking I was just couldn't breathe crying my eyes out whatever I was under the age of nine or something um but what my uncle did in that moment is he put his hand on my chest and uh I think he had my hand on his chest and he basically said don't try to stop crying don't try to start breathing or like catch your breath just try to sink up with my breathing and like that was just profound I feel like it's I've held on to it like for my whole life like it really taught me about breathing and um just I just I think it's it seems like really lwh hanging obvious fruit to people like hey man if you're stressed out take a breath take a deep breath but it's really like hey you can solve that in a way like you can stop having a panic attack in you know not that not trying to uh you know disregard someone's panic attack but um becoming in tune with your breath practicing it in moments of calm so you're used to your breathing and you're used to like what to do or used to different you know the in through the left nostril out through the right nostril whatever it is you practice those things off of being stressed out so when those moments come in and you do start to get amped up you get in a panic attack whatever you go oh I'm noticing my breath is way up here in my throat and I'm stressed out I could relax a little bit and have it down to my diaphragm and that's like such a man that's such a breath of fresh air isn't it like when you realize that you can control your breath a bit and it's really helpful yeah and like the power of taking a deep belly breath because our diaphragm doesn't get used enough and therefore we're not using as much oxygen as we could so we're not having as clear a mind clear a body as we could there's so much power in that you know yeah 100% um hey so I want to talk about I just because I listened to the podcast this morning your episode on basically

[01:11:29] Rebecca: Kind of like hey I was super depressed and here's like some things that really moved the needle forward for me um I

[01:11:34] Jacob: Think you mentioned fasting water fasting that's for sure I agree with that one um that helps with eating disorder stuff too I've dealt with those sorts of things um you talked about I think you did a great grapefruit fast yeah grapefruit a great fruit juice that I read in this book to um help my I thought I had goals stones at the time and I found this I think I said it in the podcast but I found this really old book in like this random National Trust it's like our country houses around here um that was like oh this ancient remedy just drink grapefruit juice for 3 days straight it's all you got to eat so I did it for this gstes thing which I was like well maybe my G stones are negatively affecting my energy and that's where anger stored and maybe anger is making me depressed so I did that and but the theory then having researched around it is that I think it's more impactful for women but the pH the grapefruit when you're only consuming grapefruit for that amount of time um apparently it changes like the pH of your gut I want to say you'll have to look at the study I shared it somewhere at one point um from it's either acid to alkaline alkaline to acid acidic um and if you are one way or the other it can influence depression something like about 80% but in specifically in women it doesn't I don't think it has so much of a big effect if you're changing your pH in men but if you're interested in this and it hasn't been something that you've tried looking up the pH reversal diet or the pH diet um is definitely a more subtle way of doing it than just drinking grapefruit juice for three days yeah um I'm very much a hard and fast gal when it comes to Quick Fix I'm with you I sometimes I have to just go all in sometimes I'm like cool I I saw this remedy I'm going for it right now we're starting now yeah I think when you're like with depression like it does get to a point where you get so desperate and You' still got that I want to be better type part of yourself that you're like I will do anything like give me all the potential options which is exactly what I did I just you know for research purposes I didn't split them out over a longer period of time so I don't know which one it was that actually made the big [ __ ] right right well okay so bring someone so say someone is like look I'm at that point where I'm sick of not trying anything or I want to try something else I'm sick of being depressed I want to I've got a weekend off of work coming up I've got three days Friday Saturday Sunday or you know Saturday Sunday what do I do what should I start throwing at the wall okay so now I think there's like five things I thrw at the wall which was the grapefruit thing I did um I was fasting I think it was I think I did maybe three days solid fast and then I was having bits in between um of that I also took lithium oxalate which is not the same as lithium and people got really grumpy with me on TI talk when I suggested it they were like no don't say that word yeah you can't say that so many side effects like no lithium oxalate is like a herbal supplement you can buy on eBay um so that I and there's there's some small research studies around that as well and I actually still if I need that now if I'm having a day where i'm like hm I feel down and I

[01:14:46] Rebecca: Don't think this is to do with psychology I think this is something biological which for me is somebody with

[01:14:51] Jacob: Hormonal challenges um I have PCOS and my hormones are a little bit crazy

[01:14:56] Rebecca: Um is common for me so lithium

[01:14:58] Jacob: Oxalate I take one and honestly within a couple of hours I'm absolutely fine so

[01:15:03] Rebecca: That I think works definitely from a short-term basis for me um and please consult your doctor first I'm not a scientist or medical advisor um and then

[01:15:13] Jacob: Probably the big guns is magic mushrooms and I have so much adoration for them and I don't know where I'd be without magic mushrooms and you did Mega doses right did you did like you didn't do the micro do I didn't [ __ ] about I went I went hard and fast this is um and I think I'm I can be quite anxious around Health type things but again because I was like so depressed I was like [ __ ] it they're not going to kill me I know from research you can't die from Madding mushrooms unless you go and drive a car which you don't want to when you're on them anyway you just want to sit and stare at the ceiling um how do you even get to your front seat if you I couldn't even have we I was like I don't know how to use my legs so I rolling around on the living room floor sounds good though oh God yeah um so did you did you have intentions sorry to interrupt did you have uh like did you go into it with intentions um did you know like like I'm going to take these and listen to like this frequency on YouTube I'm going to take these and try to meditate I'm going to take these and like what did you what did you do and do you think that matters yes so I actually have quite strong beliefs around this purely through experimentation from myself and my boyfriend um I really think you have to go in intentionally with mushrooms otherwise they won't serve you they want you to they want you to do your work um and so every time I've done them I have sat in low lighting um calm music on Andor

[01:16:44] Rebecca: Meditation and all trip music playlists are actually very good they know what they're doing have a look on Spotify for

[01:16:49] Jacob: Those fantastic stuff um and I did once do chanting music which me to a whole different plane I thought I was traveling the world it was amazing um and one time I had a bath as well um at the early stages before I completely lost my mind um so yeah absolutely I think you have to be very intentional about it I think always have a tripsitter have somebody in the house just in case and it's never happened to me but just in case you do get a bit panicky which it's ever happened to me or anybody that I've seen do them or trap trips that with um which I love to do I'd love to be part of people's experience um and then I write a list of questions for myself on a notepad um of what I want to try and go into and what I want to ask Spirit why I want to ask myself um and then what I found I don't know if you've done it or how hard you've gone when you've got there but like writing is just is not going to happen so I've managed a couple of times to text it's like drunk texting when I when I read it back the next day it's like drunk texting but when you're in it you don't feel drunk but you also do feel drunk so surreal um so I like text myself these incredibly profound like lifechanging notes um that I get to see the next morning and be like wow I really went then so that's my process yeah nice I think that's super helpful um it's this interesting thing man with psychedelics it really is so I've done um I've also done ketamine therapy have you done ketamine I haven't no yeah I did ketamine therapy and the way the girl described it I just really liked it um she basically said it's like it's like a windshield wiper like it's like cleaning your windshield you know like doing ketamine or like a shroom trip or whatever like if you're doing it intentionality with intentionality for your mental health you know or like hey I've got this thing I notice that's been just really plaguing me I can't seem to work through it in my sober life so let me like really try to attack it crisscross applesauce with a blindfold uh taking mushrooms um but yeah it's uh it's the weirdest thing it's I'm always trying to explain to people I wonder if you have any good input on this is it's like hard for people to wrap their mind around it's not just right now it's not just the trip like as much as you do get these kind of like you know downloads or profound oh wow I've been treating myself this way and I don't need to do that like wow that's profound whatever but there's also like the day after the week after the couple weeks after the months after like uh what do you what do you know about that like what is it how is it still working on us like days weeks months afterwards yeah so like the way that it works is like you said it wipes your brain your the neurons all go wee and just start again basically and they're like right let's figure out a new way that works better to connect with each other um and that I think it takes three weeks for them to get back to um more connected so like you can often the days after feel a bit headachy a bit out of it a bit like you're sing a trip even though you're not um but I think the podcast that I did on that I had done that the that was my third trip that I'd done and that was beginning of December 2023 and I've genuinely not been the same since I've been structured and routine and I've not had depressive episodes I've been like I feel like a normal healthy functioning human being for the first time in my whole life rather than like the ups and downs that I used to have was so like oh here we go again depressive episode for six weeks great or like okay okay I'm really super focused in terms right now like is this where's this going to go um whereas now I'm like consistent I'm levelheaded um and I and genuinely like that was the weeks after the mushroom trip SLG grapefruit SL fasting era um that and I just the date of it was just since then it's just not been same I also did meditation group meditation at that same yeah tell me about that I you talked about on the podcast but tell listeners about it too you did what kind of good meditation why was it helpful What happened so I was working with um alongside of psychic at the time I was in a psychic group and I do a lot of intuitive psychic stuff myself I do

[01:21:07] Rebecca: Tarot readings as well um and I went into this group meditation and he did us a walkthrough of basically going to see our Spirit guides um and I'm very I'm very connected with all that kind of things so I found it quite easy but I got into this space he said you know go through the Flor in your mind you get to the part where you see your Spirit guides and for the first time in God

[01:21:31] Jacob: Knows how long I felt loved all these Spirit guides around me the people that were no longer here and the people that were as well I could feel the energy people that were here with me um it was like this sudden realization that people cared about me and that people loved me um and that I had value and I think definitely when you're depressed you can think there is I you have no worth in the world there's you know there's no reason for you being here nobody gives a [ __ ] um and I literally

[01:22:01] Rebecca: Came out of that meditation streaming

[01:22:02] Jacob: With tears everyone in the room was like you okay it's everything all right and I was like whoa yes yeah like what just happened um and I think that you know again which is why I firmly believe like

[01:22:18] Rebecca: If you're like well I'm never going to be fixed because I'm not ever going to do psychedelics do meditation because I

[01:22:24] Jacob: I've gotten there so many times and I can tell you I've done mushroom trips and I've done meditations with the right

[01:22:32] Rebecca: You know set up for your meditation the right state of mind you can absolutely get to the same place with it yeah what

[01:22:37] Jacob: And what do you think about uh like the

[01:22:39] Rebecca: Group meditation effect I have found I don't know what the heck to do with it I know there's a lot of like Collective

[01:22:45] Jacob: Unconscious um there's so many things that play into it but every time I've

[01:22:49] Rebecca: Been on like a Meditation Retreat or I've been with people who are like also doing the same meditation I did transcendental meditation for a while

[01:22:56] Jacob: And when I would meditate with them dude

[01:22:59] Rebecca: My meditation was so much so powerful

[01:23:03] Jacob: It's like every time I'd meditate with a group is significant I mean not every time but a lot of times meditate with a group is significantly more powerful than doing it solo do you have experience in that do you do you resonate with that yeah absolutely and I think if you find a like-minded group of people that can be really special as well um being in that psychic group we would sort of we'd come up our meditations and one of us would be like hey did your nan come into that dream like she was here in mine telling me that she loves you she was she there with you and yeah and the one was oh my God yeah and then someone else is like does anybody know about a pink rose brooch and someone's like oh my God that Happ you know it was like this just crazy connection that we had from sort of being in that space and having the the energy field there yeah there's something to it I would love to just I in an Ideal World I would love to not

[01:23:55] Rebecca: Have to work and just be in a meditation

[01:23:57] Jacob: World every day I did I visited um

[01:23:59] Rebecca: Fairfield Iowa is where uh Mahar um there's a place called Maharishi International uh University it's like

[01:24:08] Jacob: The headquarters of the transal

[01:24:10] Rebecca: Meditation movement and uh I stayed there in that town like actually in one of their dorms for three or four days I did like the whole tour and I totally love this college I actually almost went there um but they have two giant meditation hes like in this city on the

[01:24:26] Jacob: College campus and they I think they hold four to five 4 or 600 a piece ones for females ones for males and twice a day every single day without pause

[01:24:37] Rebecca: People go to those meditation domes and they do their transcendental you know 20 to 40 minutes of meditation and then they go home and the energy in that town

[01:24:45] Jacob: Like being next to those domes is just undeniable like I don't even know what to say about it like I would sit down to meditate by myself and I felt like I was just like lifted up by a thousand hands you know like it just it's pretty profound so I don't know what to do with any of that information but clearly when you're meditating in a group there's profound effects and it's super cool yeah and I wish we had more option to do it you know maybe in the future as you become more of a collective Society again it will become more normal so you know living groups and being groups and connect to our subconscious and collective subconscious or Collective unconscious together as groups as well yeah I think so I it's it's clear that we are being pushed more and more into like more and more people are in t in tune with they're not so scared by words like spirituality um they're not so turned up I mean the amount of the amount of like you know right now what's going on the last couple years is like the amount of people that are converting and in like becoming Christians now or they um you

[01:25:45] Rebecca: Know people getting into yoga and meditation the internet has really opened up the possibilities for people becoming in tune with their spiritual side so yeah I would it would be so

[01:25:54] Jacob: Cool in the next 10 years you just start what if that was the most normal thing ever like your average public high school is just like oh yeah bro we

[01:26:01] Rebecca: Did meditation second period we love it

[01:26:04] Jacob: You know that'd be that'd be amazing yeah um well hey we are up here in time um I don't want to take a ton of your time I think I had only said 90 minutes originally so um with respect to your time as much as I could probably ask you about a million more questions and I think we probably talk all day let's Round the Corner cor um anybody listening right now I would just I'm sure they're going to be intrigued to like check out more of your stuff to learn more about you uh I'll include all the links and stuff below but can you just tell people what you got going on what you have available where can they find it how should they reach out to you um give them a Lowdown to reach out to you yeah absolutely so my website is Rebecca w. org and my social media is Rebecca Wild with four a in between I am a coach I do free meditations on insight

[01:26:51] Rebecca: Timer and I do tarot readings astrology Readings and I'm also this year training as a Dueler a birth Dueler like a virtual Dueler support as well so I'm open for any of it but if you listen to me and you're like Rea I think you can help me with something else please let me know I'm such an evolving always open to just helping my fellow humans with anything that you think could be valuable um my YouTube I'm quite active on as well as Instagram and they you know they're all the same handle so um yeah just I'm really loving this part of life where I get to brunch out and support in different ways yeah very cool and you have your book of course do remind me the name of your book oh yeah My book yeah so that's H called the will To live project and that is on Amazon and it's really a collection of all the little insights I've had I think I've mentioned quite a few of them today they're just in written format if people prefer it that way if not you can scroll through like loaded my Instagram post and they're sort of dotted around there as well it's quite a long form way of doing it um but yeah that's my current book and there will definitely be more I'm a writer at heart so if you're listening to this in like five years I'm sure I've probably written a few more there's one coming out this year so there will be more on here

[01:28:04] Outro: Well I I will say I'll will extend the branch please hit me up next time you have a book come out and we'll do another podcast how about that yeah I mean Jacob we definitely need to do another podcast I also could keep talking I feel like we got a lot I know it's funny I'm looking at my notes I have and I even have Another page of notes but I didn't really even get to the notes I just save them we'll do a part two I completely I'm up for that heck yeah I think we Totally should um well awesome I Rebecca thank you so much for your time thank you so much for following that intuition To reach out to me originally anyway um it's I think I told you I force everything to be a synchronicity sometimes but um that same day I was like oh yeah I need to get I'm going to book a podcast uh guest today that was like literally on my list of notes and so it's just dope for you to reach out I'm like hey I think I would be a good fit and I look at yourself I'm like ah perfect fit so yeah it's just it works out well um so next time around um please hit me up um listeners love yourselves if you haven't stressed today what are you doing stretch a little bit if you haven't drank water drink a little water love yourself give yourself a big old hug right now and uh check out Rebecca's stuff we will see you guys next episode Rebecca thank you so much again I appreciate your time I'll be in touch great thank you all right listeners have a good rest of your day Rebecca have a good rest of your day peace out everybody at what age do we learn how to have better conversations at what age do we learn to have better conversations with ourselves knowledge is power reality is