Episode 023 with Spencer Hicks

[00:00:06] Intro: Hello and welcome to the junkyard knowledge is power ahoy that is the new intro if you haven't heard it yet I'm gonna leave it a minute long for the next few episodes so I get to enjoy it and then I'll shorten it and make it like 30 seconds or 20 seconds whatever and then also what I'm gonna start doing is mentioning some recommendations in the form of like TED Talks books articles blogs meditations things that I'm always into things that I'm always learning that I can quickly drop in at the beginning of each episode just something for you to look into and maybe make you life a little bit better so this TED Talk today I'm gonna recommend is Breathe to Heal by Max Strom it's 18 minutes and 33 seconds it's on YouTube and it's fantastic enjoy the episode wieners does this sound better than what where's the echo 8 yeah dude audio and onazi I

[00:02:00] Spencer: Should stop obsessing over sounds fine this is what it was before yeah this one hey this sounds good I had to dive deep and make sure that all the other things weren't tried first so I just learned on the internet that there's three kinds of empathy cognitive emotional and compassionate empathy and cognitive empathy is how I feel is when you view you can feel other people and see their perspective but you don't actually feel anything at all emotional is when you see their perspective and you feel all of their emotions and then compassionate empathy is kind of a mixture of both it's when you usually understand by empathy feeling someone's pain and taking action to help ya so you feel it notice it and then you step in to somehow mitigate or solve the problem that is causing this and apparently that you need to find a balance between these things finding the balance cognitive empathy can often be considered under emotional empathy by contrast

[00:02:58] Jacob: Is over emotional in exercising

[00:03:01] Spencer: Compassionate empathy we can find the

[00:03:03] Jacob: Right balance between logic and emotion okay why don't you give your what would you define empathy as do you turn that off so it's not distracting yes nice what would I define up for use uh well

[00:03:19] Spencer: It is just feeling the emotions of

[00:03:21] Jacob: Others or their current state of being like and uh have you always be in this

[00:03:28] Spencer: State well I think that sometimes is

[00:03:31] Jacob: Detrimental if you are over feeling like if you see somebody in pain and you just take all of that for yourself you can now be overloaded by an emotion that is not necessarily yours right holding the

[00:03:42] Spencer: Burdens of others hmm that's interesting

[00:03:46] Jacob: Yeah it's like you can't hold your stuff

[00:03:49] Spencer: And everybody else's stuff I think that like mothers tend to do this just because of who they are obviously they want to like hold the weight of everything they can like for their kids and for other people on them like that I'm just John refining motherly and that motherly trait they want to like try to hold everybody else's pain a lot of times they can handle a lot more it seems like but it's not this is not super good I feel like we I was telling you before this that we I think we kind of understand words like or misunderstand words like empathy and being empathetic and getting them confused with sympathy and things like that I think that emotional empathy or

[00:04:27] Jacob: This feeling empathy it probably has a good side to it but if you let it

[00:04:34] Spencer: Overwhelm you or take in too much of other people's emotions you're just going to just going to be detrimental for you I personally have the other problem like I will have a lot of empathy but I actually won't feel any emotion which is just be a stoic weirdo yeah which I feel like it's more of a dude thing this is very over generalization but let's say masculine energy masculine it's more of a masculine thing to do is to if you're going to be empathetic you understand the situation see it grapple with it but don't actually internalize any of it which leads to more calloused responses but on the other end if you're going to over feel it as equally as bad for a different reason I'm sorry to be touching this can you elaborate more on that

[00:05:23] Jacob: Well I could give me an example which

[00:05:28] Spencer: One of someone doing exactly what you were just saying okay let's say one of my friends they I guess they just lost a loved one and you understand that this is this is sad but you have a very hard

[00:05:43] Jacob: Time emotionally comforting them because

[00:05:47] Spencer: You just don't feel what they're feeling you haven't allowed yourself to which this happens to me a lot that was a very extreme example and death is of course

[00:05:56] Jacob: But that no that's a good bike you know yes simplest large magnitude of events but I run into this a lot like very highly empathetic but I am very extremely bad at comforting people because I just don't have I don't share those feelings do you think it comes across as like you not being sensitive or you not sometimes when people aren't

[00:06:19] Spencer: Sharing exactly what we're feeling they see it as like are you heartless like how are you not feeling exactly what I'm feeling how is this not terrible yes I mean I've been characterized as not being sensitive even by myself so I feel like there's a balance between these two things like in order to be a more effective person and interpersonal relationships you definitely need to feel someone's emotion but you can't let

[00:06:45] Jacob: It overwhelm you because it's I mean it

[00:06:48] Spencer: Really isn't your it's not your emotion

[00:06:50] Jacob: To be feeling in the first place right yeah we can just walk around just taking other people's emotions but what are your experiences with this I don't know I think that I feel like oh this chair again man this chair I feel like that I that I used to have trouble absorbing things it would overwhelm me like one other someone else was going through something I would feel what I would call like oh so much humanity for them so much sympathy so much empathy whatever it wasn't my brain like I would almost feel - like they're crying like I want to cry - like oh my gosh you must hurt what you're going through I I want you almost want to like force your emotions - under stand and work out what they're feeling just so you can like really sympathize with them and but sometimes it's bad you know if you if you can't really learn how to sharpen that tool and you know sometimes you get overwhelmed with other people's emotions and it mixes in with yours and you're kind of like unsure of what you're even upset about you just feel out of control in a sense do you think that's led you to be

[00:08:00] Spencer: A more emotional person mmm I think I'm inherently more emotional I think that if we're talking masculine-feminine I think I'm probably more feminine I think that just like the

[00:08:15] Jacob: Nature of my upbringing right you know and I have three older sisters I've lived in a house with I think seven to nine women for a couple years at a younger age I think I'm just more you know in touch with my emotions seems like the worst sentence to say and in the thing here but I don't know well let's start with that let's start with that subject there Spencer welcome to the Junkyard Love Podcast that's the cool thing when I lose a train of thought when is your podcast you can make well when you're up with the intro I'm gonna keep that beginning - good morning I am I'm glad you came over today I have been a little under the weather with the wetter I've been

[00:09:04] Spencer: Under the wetter and I think it was what we decided was gastric gastrin itis gas turd we just sick you just

[00:09:15] Jacob: Essentially I've just not been feeling super great and it's not good so obviously it's cool to notice not cool but it's interesting to notice when you're sick your body sick you know your brain immediately sucks dude like you can't just like read your favorite book you just want to watch super mindless stuff and not even lift your head and that just tells you it's just a reminder of like man your body is so connected to your brain your thoughts like the

[00:09:42] Spencer: Fog that I've had the last couple days like I just I'm like man and I have like six podcast episodes to edit and I'm gonna do this I'm gonna do that and I just like pretty much just smelled my own farts and up like uploaded one episode that's about it the last four days three days so anyway I'm feeling better now I'm not just crying in my own tears of self complaint which is what I tend to do when I'm sick in that's awful

[00:10:05] Jacob: So if when you're sick listener if you just complain a lot just notice that you're doing that and don't do that's a note to myself couple days ago

[00:10:13] Spencer: Spencer we had a couple things we wrote

[00:10:16] Jacob: Down would you like to jump right into this well empathy was one of them if you want to elaborate on that or if we covered that I think we covered that okay I think it is important for people to know epithets just end with that why is it important for people to know empathy in this world like in this and weird navigating society well yeah well you need to be able to relate to people and where they're coming from in general to actually develop interpersonal connections and have quality not one-sided conversations and do you feel

[00:10:50] Spencer: When we misunderstand our empathetic mind and body we instead actually just share their feelings like we're comforting them by like okay you're sad I'm gonna feel sad too like you're gonna jump off the bridge I'm gonna jump off the bridge with you are we are we just joining them and they're feeling sometimes instead of like understanding them and really helping like what does this person need they need comfort of course but sometimes I think we just immediately matched their feelings and sink right into that call that sympathy and I think that's not super good yeah I think that you should feel it but then take actions to try to mitigate it like if you can help them do it but I mean you can't necessarily relieve the burden of someone's emotions by feeling them as

[00:11:35] Jacob: Well it might make it worse that works all wallowing yeah so I agree I mean if on an ethical level if your goal is to reduce the amount of suffering total which I've deduced that's what I think everyone's life decisions should be or at least mine you in turn suffering because someone else is not reducing that even if it does sound selfish you are increasing the suffering so if you could find a way to reduce everyone's suffering it's gonna be the most ethical and helpful right yeah if you just look at like if there's a certain level of suffering total in the room like don't even think about you or the other person in the room just think about the room itself the suffering in general in there are you gonna go add to it or are you gonna go take away from it how about that less would be good else would be gonna take less let's do this I want to talk about projection projections no I like projectors and I got one time for Christmas the very bright mm-hmm what I noticed I was at a

[00:12:37] Spencer: Concert last weekend was it Led Zeppelin Nickelback yes both actually back-to-back was great but so it was an

[00:12:49] Jacob: Electronic concert and people are pretty boisterous there and they make some pre bold fashion choices and so I made a thong I was just like super cool with it

[00:13:01] Spencer: I'm super cooled nudity I think that everyone to be more cool with it but I was thinking about how people would perceive that in accordance now if they would do that or not so if you're a person that you would do that to get attention you would assume that they're doing that to get attention because you're just projecting your **** onto them but what if they're not like this is not a it's not a truth in the world necessarily like we don't as humans you only navigate you so you don't have true empathy so you can't 100% live in someone shoes and understand all the way why they do things especially not off just seeing them so we kind of as humans if we're not careful just wander through the world and project all our dumb bad **** onto other people do you I think that a

[00:13:46] Jacob: Lot of people don't realize that they're doing it like when we're when you so you said you're like I noticed that I was like I noticed that I saw this man right and then so did you immediately judge him in a negative way or not you didn't see I don't care about it like I've done a lot of these things I'm very like a fluid and open so it didn't bite me but I did think about I don't know it just sparked the thought like this is a very flamboyant way to dress and I would assume the reaction from some people would be like he's doing this for attention but you can't surmise that and olders and you jump to that conclusion I mean of course you take like real-world data and you know some people do that but you also are projecting yourself onto that right and in arguments that happens like if some pino someone peak like angry people that have a temper they will

[00:14:34] Spencer: Project a lot of their anger on other people as well like they assume that or people that are spiteful they assume Pete other people are doing things to them in a spiteful fashion because they might be they might do that as well and you kind of just get in this you assume because all you have is you to judge or you to go off of that other people are acting in ways because that's the way that you would but that's not necessarily true and I don't know I didn't come to a conclusion on how to deal with this I just had a large epiphany about it mm-hmm because we can't actually have to remedy like you can't live in someone else's skin so how do you how do you mitigate this and I

[00:15:14] Jacob: Guess judge less would be the conclusion I think I think that the big thing there is like just the fact that you noticed it and then continue to no notice it so if it's noticing that you're judging someone and then asking yourself like you know what you did like you happen to notice oh this is where other people would obviously judge and you wondered why to yourself I think that when you see anything that anybody else is doing in you there's a different state of being than walking around doing what you're doing enjoying your life smelling your own air like these seeing the things that you want to see with your eyes and walking around having judgments about people whether they're good or bad they're

[00:16:04] Jacob: There's a way of going about your life where people are just walking past you're not noticing I mean in a thong you think that's just the duties doing something other than what I'm doing and you just he keeps going he doesn't even interrupt your thoughts so judgment almost interrupts your thoughts like it takes you out of what you're trying to do if you're just trying to walk to the bathroom what you're trying to do is walk to the bathroom not have six different judgments about six different people who are wearing six different colored thongs these are things that of course you have a look around you could enjoy your life because if you're in the

[00:16:33] Spencer: Right perspective as you're walking through you can say like that's wonderful that guy's doing that's cool that girl's doing that whatever you could even talk to them interact with them but I think that some of us are in a weird maybe flipping the words parasympathetic state but when a weight's person thetic fight-or-flight person that ik is eating sleeping meditating okay deep breath sympathetic is a fight-or-flight nerves

[00:16:55] Jacob: So if we're in a sympathetic state let's say your object up yours you're walking around kind of you're judging people because it's do you think it's maybe like a defense tactic like I think that

[00:17:08] Spencer: There is a internal want to be normal and then shun other things that aren't normal so if you see something that somebody's doing that you don't deem as

[00:17:19] Jacob: Normal needs it's comforting for you to go to the guy beside you inhale you like look at this dude like this guy's ridiculous because now you're staying in this tribe you're staying with the humans you know I think these people are accepting you guys are bonding together on a ridicule or a hatred of this person because of this one thing that you don't even know the actual origin of because I mean they always say the hates more rallying than love and I think it is easier it is it's we think

[00:17:50] Spencer: That we need to yeah its imagine being in a like this is your group you have a hundred and fifty people 150

[00:17:59] Jacob: And you lean over to number 32 because

[00:18:02] Spencer: You see number 58 he's wearing the gold thong and you're like hey it fits you too look at this can I wear hey we're still gonna do the shirt entire thing right right and he's like yeah like as an idiot anyway go gay ever still doing a shirt and tie thing right like you're just making sure essentially like if you break this down to super primitive **** seems like you're just making sure like can't we're not all gonna do that because that if I was doing that would mean this that's what our brain is actually thinking but we bring it back into this confused terminology of I think this thing about this person

[00:18:32] Jacob: Because this you're just affirming yourself to yeah in a not so healthy way I mean I got together as a bunch of my

[00:18:42] Spencer: Friends that I've known for real a long

[00:18:45] Jacob: Time and it's very easy to just like slip back into being a **** you know he's got people watching you something haha and I noticed it and it was even after

[00:18:54] Spencer: That it was just I kept doing it like you just go on people watch I find myself people watching a lot of concerts about depending on who I'm with and I notice that when I go off alone I have much more I don't know just a much more

[00:19:07] Jacob: Like peaceful like relaxing more in

[00:19:10] Spencer: Taking ice I'm just more aware but not as judgy I'm not around all these people that I'm close with and I think that might be some to it I don't really want to conclude that but yeah I mean I definitely feel more judgy when I'm with other people than I am when I'm alone like especially it like a DDM concert

[00:19:31] Jacob: Cuz it's just **** ridiculous like it's just a spectacle of people and personalities and there's so much to look at and it's so easy when you're just like with your friends like hey look at that guy moving like that but it's actually none of your business you know like it's actually not what you came here you came here to like listen to music and I think that it pulls palsy out of it I agree I think a camaraderie is super important but I'm we do got to

[00:19:56] Spencer: Watch ourselves though like what am I getting pulled into like let's not let's not go five days into being this just like crazy gorilla dude if I don't really want to do to be that person overall I mean there's certain places where you just kind of like let go and just be a dummy sometimes I think but be respectful about it and be in your own world I think it was great though I had a good time yeah it was fun yeah I really enjoyed just like being a little **** for a while hanging out with my friends yeah you talked about how because you do like your alone time but you say you're an extroverted person you are an extrovert

[00:20:29] Jacob: Yeah I'm extremely recharged by people yeah in general but I also am recharged by being alone like I need a 70/30 balance of this like 70% of time I rely people around people I really like when I speak out loud like the exertion of it I really enjoy the feeling it makes me feel very good and I like to help people as well and just like talk about stuff and convey ideas so interactions like

[00:20:53] Spencer: That I really enjoy but very like common interactions you have with people you don't know I really don't enjoy it all that it's just like a nagging harassment

[00:21:03] Jacob: On being alive or it's just not it's

[00:21:07] Spencer: Just not helpful at all it's just doesn't get anywhere and everyone knows the dance like hey how you doing today mm-hmm nice and then you don't actually

[00:21:16] Jacob: Have anything that you know about that you have in common yet and it's just or it's somebody that you're fully aware that you're not gonna get necessarily along with all the way you're down on the same wavelength I mean that's okay mm-hmm those just suck the life out of me do you think like when the other

[00:21:35] Spencer: Person is not like aware of the non-dual ness in the in the conversation or the dual illness in the conversation like they're not aware that they're not your best friend or something seeing those situations huh I don't know

[00:21:50] Jacob: It's more just like if you've got okay let's say you work somewhere and there's just like a customer that comes in sometimes and you like kind of know them and they just everyone's been held hostage by like a heist someone they knew from high school that they knew kinda you run over to the grocery store and you guys both because of social norms and being polite just get locked into speaking together mm-hmm and both of you know it's like we want to go it was rough I mean I really do I

[00:22:18] Spencer: Really wish you well but this is

[00:22:21] Jacob: Draining of my time and energy mm-hmm

[00:22:23] Spencer: And I know it sounds super rude but I feel like this is a really shared experience no it is I don't think it's rude I think if it was one-sided but I think a lot of this is two-sided and the two-sided is not like dude I

[00:22:34] Jacob: Don't want to talk to you it's just like let's just break down this barrier of like we need to act like we've been long-lost best friends and all these things like we could you know I am always like very happy to see people that I haven't seen in a long time but there's a lot of like you know what this is and I know what this is like I haven't seen you in forever I do know you exist I know your name that's okay we used to hang out we maybe have a number on out I think just like taking things for what they are instead of treating every single relationship exactly as this one baseline you know I

[00:23:02] Spencer: Would be super stoked to see people if that was just the norm but people that I only count know like a ban like how your kids yeah how's your life going like awesome and I hope you have a good day it was really good to see you alright gone like if you gave me a button and you a button and we were just like kind of friends at one point of time like seven years ago and that button would allow us to abort the conversation without anyone knowing you press the **** out of it yeah I'm like it right like way before the 30 minutes of hanging out and Safeway I think that I

[00:23:35] Jacob: Think that a lot of times our conversations get a little weird because of social media yeah I'm gonna go ahead and blame social media for something else right now so being off social media I wasn't

[00:23:50] Spencer: Caught up on people so I don't know who's pregnant I don't know who isn't pregnant I don't know who just got married I don't know who dyed their hair purple and I don't know her like it's so these things in the they seem like things you don't really lock in like as you're scrolling they're kind of just like quick like ran out okay that person that person and it's not that you don't care about these people like these are your distant friends you're like cool it's nice to know this information about these people but then when you see them you're almost left with nothing to talk about because it's not surprised so like when I was off social media like if I saw so me in the grocery store I haven't seen their face I haven't heard of them like I've been so into just my own world like you forget this person exists completely like I'm not kidding you

[00:24:29] Jacob: Think it's a different I've been so connected to social media for so long it's like a different thing when you completely forget that these people even exist you see them and like oh dude what man like how are you get it quick you know you get five minutes they tell them that you hear about their kids you get reminded of their kids names there's all these things and you walk away I just happy as a client and say in a grocery store I think that social

[00:24:54] Spencer: Media and feeling the need to stay so connected at all times because this is something we all got so connected but we didn't I can't make should we always weaken is that super good and I think that it makes these little conversations more weird we're like do I address that I know you do I say that I have you on Facebook do I just bring up what you most recently posted and I talk about that do I apologize for not liking your

[00:25:19] Jacob: Post because that means something it's a weird thing I am I know anyway what I'm rounding about is I think that not having social media makes it toward these conversations where you do bump into each other it's never the **** it's like you know I don't have to you know sometimes I'm not my 100 like sometimes I'm really just not in the best conversation mode but it doesn't mean anything inherently and if I do run

[00:25:46] Spencer: Into you I think just letting that

[00:25:51] Jacob: Genuine wonder and genuine thing pop up of like I'm not trying to not go see

[00:25:57] Spencer: With someone at the store I'm not trying to see someone at the store I'm not even thinking that this person exists these people exist I'm living my life and then if I do bump into this person what a joyous occasion that I can I can I can represent and deal with when it comes along and I'll tell you that at most the time it's been great it's been genuine it's honestly like I'm like dude great to see you it's a hug it's a like I don't know everything about this person as I just walked away they didn't have to give me all of their Facebook updates for the last year and in a printout and I had to read it while they just stood there in front of me I just had a conversation with them and that's all that it was I think on the flip side of that too though I would say it's kind of contrary what it just said but 50% of the conversation end up having I really do enjoy when I run into people and I end up this is kind of why I despise it too because I will actually just I value

[00:26:48] Jacob: Just personal interaction a lot so I will spend Wayne more time than I have speaking of this person so now it's all it's never that helpful for me because if I want to talk to my mind up talking too long I don't have the time to but then also with social media your second hand connected to a bunch of people you wouldn't normally know so in your like weird Twitter friends with them you know like you like their post and you reply to each other sometimes we never meet them but then if you run into them you feel this weird pressure you're like I know this person kind of it's like I don't at all though but we're about to talk for awhile and it's not gonna be super comfy yeah I

[00:27:28] Spencer: Think treating that as honestly I think

[00:27:31] Jacob: As simple as like this conversation here Spencer like just noting it like hey guys this exists it's okay we can like it's not the end of the world to be kind of awkward for a second and then just like maybe you're gonna stumble over like hey Cynthia that's your name right like what and then you could just be like oh yeah okay I don't know you totally and then you just go on to whatever conversation happen it's like don't let that awkwardness represent who you are like don't be nervous because I find myself you know social anxiety really kicks in for me a lot of times I get very nervous the question you don't remember my name do you like someone saying that to me is it breaks my heart because I'm like please it will not as much more but it used to because I'm like dude like that's not who I am like I don't

[00:28:16] Spencer: I don't mean it like that I just have a lot of other things that I'm thinking about I didn't fully remember your name like there's so many different reasons it doesn't mean that I dislike you or my interactions with you or not genuine like I tried to be present and mean what I say when I'm looking at people and interacting with them it's not **** but that doesn't mean that I can remember everybody's name those sort of things so I think this we address it like letting those things be in the air like for our age people and just like dude it's **** okay that we have weird relationships with people because of the internet now that are extended for maybe longer than they would have been before and we keep them as that like we can we can deal with them as

[00:28:54] Jacob: They come up and normally weird we live in a very odd time for communication yes I really think that it's just we communicates so different than any other generation before us and it leads to a lot of I mean cuz there's no rules in any of this you know communication was pretty dialed in for the internet like everybody there's a system everyone kind of knew how to navigate it's been going on for thousands of years then all of a sudden we're just all this hive mind together doing this big group thing but we don't actually know how to speak to each other at all groupthink hive mind what do you mean by words like that so hive mind is like a big collective brain of thoughts and it's kind of what the internet is it's just like this collective consciousness of bound together brains creating one singular

[00:29:46] Spencer: One singular brain like a hive of brains so like a hive mind if you compare it to

[00:29:52] Jacob: Be ether obviously a hive situation yeah I mean they essentially all they use like pheromones and sense to all communicate together but they work in unison essentially mm-hmm towards the

[00:30:04] Spencer: One vehicle to bring to pollinate

[00:30:08] Jacob: The yeah to survive and whatnot right so we're hive mind we can have hide by now especially because we're all connected to the phone is touching our body at most times of the day it's really just an extension of you at this point like your social media is low-key an extension of you whether you like it or not I mean that is mean it portrays you and I actually grapple with this a lot like what is even the utility of this

[00:30:36] Spencer: This thing well I think even farther than that is do even I'll have to have social media like why do you have social media so super good question to ask yourself I think about this all the time I remember I look at it like is this like what is what's the goal like I talk to everyone that I like to talk to already like why do I need this they like all my friends see all my photos because they were there most the time and the thing that I put up here and the image that I create on especially Instagram is the worst it's the most curated vapid face value nonsense out all of them because at least with my favorite it's also my favorite because it's pretty and it's got pictures and it's like hey look at me but like this doesn't actually portray who I am or any nuance of my being so it's like a

[00:31:30] Jacob: Shitty advertisement for you know this is not it's just not you really it can be even especially if you keep pictures for a long time like the pictures you posted two years ago you're probably cringe at really hard and I do when I look at my social medium like this is not who I am at all like I'm really at like the caption that I put here I don't like I don't like this photo like I don't like how this is portraying me like this whole thing is like this though and I feel like a lot of people also feel the same I would assume like this is just not does not me why do I have this what's the utility of this I mean it kind of blatantly shows what we're doing here anyway that if you think about it like what is any of this you yeah this I guess it's

[00:32:13] Spencer: The same about rejecting yourself though I mean it's just like an ultra projection of you that's way more concrete than you actually projecting

[00:32:20] Jacob: Yourself to the world that more people can see I mean it's just an extension of the absurdity of being alive you think that we're obsessed with wanting to preserve these things we're obsessed with saying like no this is me it's our ego mine's like on the internet say saying this is as much me if I make

[00:32:40] Spencer: This person this person that's who if I

[00:32:44] Jacob: Make this person on social media amazing

[00:32:47] Spencer: Then that will be me that's me absolutely okay when I was a middle school as a small kid I was like I was popular how long's everyone bow into a small school I knew everybody and I wasn't like that guy it was always just I never felt that I got a lot of social attention even though I probably did I got way more than a lot of people but I was never like I want to be that guy so I'm you get social media you only post the pictures of you have music festivals pictures of your car because you lift some weights and just like all the stuff it's like yeah look at me it's never any of the vulnerable moments never you being sad at 4:00 a. m. it's just the perfect projection of your highlight reel so people say that you're awesome that's what it was for me I just want you to look at me right that's I mean that's what Instagram is look at look at what this dude it is remember in

[00:33:33] Jacob: Highschool you ever have like those end of your slideshows you know like someone just make some like it's probably like good riddance bye-bye Green Day and or

[00:33:42] Spencer: Sixpence kiss me even in some cases and it's just like what we're trying to do with social media is we're just trying to have like a slideshow that's going all the time and we're trying to make that represent who we are and it's like do you need a slideshow why do you even have a slideshow is this well you're

[00:34:01] Jacob: Getting validation people you don't care about but how do we realize that's that's what it is you know that like these are what we're being fed our own insecurities in a way sometimes it

[00:34:13] Spencer: Just feels good it's comfortable to just put all your stuff on the internet and be this person and flex super-hard mm-hmm because it just doesn't show the

[00:34:23] Jacob: Vulnerability of being alive and we kind of I mean you see it in a rap culture you just champion being like bawling out like being that guy like it's a very boisterous and in-your-face and I feel like our generation was really like growing up on that as well so even

[00:34:40] Spencer: Before social media like the urge to be looked at was present in pop culture and then this comes along and just time to follow what we know like all these cool people that we idolize is what they do they just flex as hard as they can right well I mean you notice a lot of them now though I mean within the last probably two years I mean you've probably seen it in different ways to even just following like even the EDM guys I get a lot

[00:35:06] Jacob: Of people are unwinding a bit more and kind of realizing a lot of the same things like wait what is this like even famous people are like this sucks I got like you know logic toxic extensively in some of the h3 interviews about like social media mike-mike stud has a podcast now and that him and his boys mentioned that towards beginning Chris drama Pat who Rob Dyrdek's cousin like he's got like spiritual **** and they talked about like social media now and I'm like in how they wanted to post all their cars money clothes and hoes dan Bilzerian even within the last year has talked about like dude if I'm on social media in two years kill me or something which is an aggressive Tamra's area let's say anything to say but he can do whatever he wants it's interesting I think that the truth of the matter is of what I what I'm always trying to boil down with the social media thing because it's kind of like just why do you have it you don't need it and it's not

[00:36:05] Spencer: Incredibly beneficial it is a it is it's

[00:36:08] Jacob: A hobby it's a it's something you do you know like some people on their free time when they're on the couch they look up the latest golf balls that came out because they're a golfer and they study extensively about that or they have they follow a subreddit about golfing they find some app about golfing because that's their passion but what a lot of us do now our hobby is following social media our hobby is now social media our hobby is making sure our slideshow is pristine and mean at all times and we build our life around it I just it's cool and it is a cool thing that we can do and there's like when it comes to the business side the monetary side of all these things it's so sick but I think that it's capturing us in ways that we didn't realize again what you're just saying like the I guess just realizing why we have it like we've always had it and like of course I want social media it's cool then a couple years later you're like wait well how do you like why am i why is this what is this why are we doing this what's the what why is this worth all of this time

[00:37:12] Jacob: Besides these this little doses of happiness here and there how is this good for my overall life is this something that I want to choose to use we even take a step back from that and that's why do you do anything I just start analyzing your life why do you do stuff yeah just all the little habits you have all the little things that you decide to put time and effort into like why do you do them mm-hmm yeah what are they leading up to yeah and if you if it's just goes yeah I like it and it's a healthy thing for you yeah keep doing it I don't think social mean is all bad I think there's a healthy way to use do almost anything to be honest and if it doesn't detract from your life you manage it well and you really just use it to communicate excellent tool but I

[00:37:53] Spencer: The way it's literally designed to not be used like that it's just hyper addictive it's trying to sell you stuff it's really colorful and it just kind of keeps you in this like he said she said gossip being kind of mindset because you just are looking at others and you're either talking ****

[00:38:11] Jacob: Or feeling bad that they're doing better than you know and I feel like that's how most people are social media is never actually emotionally detracted for me it's actually it makes me feel good that's I'm on that side like social media reaffirms this **** out of who I am but a lot of people I know I really detract from their life because they just feel bad about the current situation and I don't think that's good do you think do you think that being on Facebook when you wake up in the morning and you check Facebook can you see something that you really don't agree with is that enough to activate here

[00:38:43] Spencer: Your fight-or-flight now but I do think it really impacts your day because when you wake up you're in such a sensitive state to information and just your brainwave state is just really receptive and you're just a really sensitive being for a while so people are often really grumpy in the morning and really like emotionally fragile and just I guess just soft but if you wake up and you just get blasted with whatever there's some someone's trying to tell you it's mostly negative because that's what gets clicks and sells stuff I don't think

[00:39:14] Jacob: It's helpful I stopped looking at my phone in the morning and it's made my life a lot better like a lot of people will just sit and scroll for 40 minutes okay here's what I mean

[00:39:25] Spencer: I mean I'm gonna expand on that question that I asked you with an analogy of course okay so you're in your backyard it doesn't matter if you just woke up or whatever you have your phone in your hand and your heart rate is slow

[00:39:41] Jacob: And your which would be and what

[00:39:44] Spencer: Rate would you be in if your heart rate slowed and you're calm you're thinking clearly probably parasympathetic what kind of estate okay and then you're chilling and you're fine you're not really thinking about much and then corner of your eye a wolf approaches you in your backyard and it's far away what happens then you're in this calm

[00:40:03] Jacob: State and your heart rates gonna go up right your heart rate picks up your breath rate picks up you become more acute you feel your adrenals dump so you

[00:40:10] Spencer: Become tense

[00:40:12] Jacob: Okay lockup and you're thinking what am

[00:40:16] Spencer: I gonna like I gotta figure out what to do next have to run from this wolf I have to fight him I have to lay on the ground and put my head tucked in I don't know what to do with Wolf's I haven't read about Wolf's whatever and in the same sense while these things are going on you're in this your hearts elevated you're just thinking of how do I survive this situation well during those times I would be willing to bet and I think you probably could with me that your fingernails the process in your body that makes your fingernails grow pauses

[00:40:43] Jacob: Stops because you're prioritizing other things it's do I need to run from this wolf or is this the ideal time to be sending whatever the **** cells are that you send to your fingernails to make your fingernails grow whatever does

[00:40:57] Spencer: That make sense to you yeah well then actually there's a lot of like more reasoning in that like you really hit the nail on the head when it comes to being like in a fight-or-flight stay because you stop digesting okay that's why I think people have other digestive issues because they're always stressed was put you in a fighter flight and you also the prefrontal cortex your

[00:41:15] Jacob: Brain the big half in the front just shuts off and you just use your lower portion of the brain so you actually don't that's why standardized testing is really bad because it puts kids in a stressful state in the part of their brain that thinks well turns off because they're stressed dude it's this it seems so simple to me okay so same thing so there's this warfare your heart rates elevated your fingernails are not growing gear you're not your poop situation isn't happening your stomach's in pain because you're not digesting you're not doing these like slow calm things that your body's always doing you notice how when you get a cut on your finger and a couple days it heals this is your body's always okay I need to do this prioritize this oh it seems to be that there's a cut here the pain indicates that your body without you thinking about you have listener do you remember sitting crisscross applesauce last time you got a cut and saying mmm please you know my

[00:42:08] Spencer: Finger no you don't have to your body just does it when you're in the right state so backing up this Wolf's situation you're in your backyard this wolf happening let's back up a step farther this wolf is not here so you're back to where you're in your backyard and you're calm the wolf thing hasn't happened yet you just backed up a few well instead of the wolf coming

[00:42:32] Jacob: Someone text you on your phone in that

[00:42:35] Spencer: Text says I hate what you represent what

[00:42:42] Jacob: Whoever you think you are they're coming for it and they're like you're an idiot DJ's are total ****

[00:42:49] Spencer: There they spit in the face of musicians Jake I hate DJ's their crap here's why I just get a text out of nowhere it just says that my heart rate whoo it's kind of picking up like what do you mean I am a DJ in you're insulting DJ's which means that you are insulting me again the situation there's no wolf still there's no wolf at all your heart rates picking

[00:43:10] Jacob: Up and picking up and then I'm Twitter fingers back to him I'm still my back here are my heart it's picking up let's say I have 15 minutes of like responding even if I'm not like mad I'm not like **** you bro I'm literally just defending myself and I'm kind of just I'm like look man I'm glad I got that out you know that kind of intense that uh look you gotta you got to get this out like they don't know about me so I have to tell them about me do you think that is anywhere near at all the feeling that we're getting people who take 15 minutes to be aggressive do you think that's anywhere comparable to this wolf approaching you the feeling that we get the that let's say just from our body's perspective of like turning fight-or-flight on oh it's the same thing your body doesn't know any difference right at all to me this is a

[00:43:59] Spencer: Profound thing do I think a lot of

[00:44:01] Jacob: Listeners do I think that a lot of people do not realize that just even responding to text reading shitty things on Facebook seeing that this person just died 24-hour news all these things they

[00:44:14] Spencer: Literally keep you locked into this fight or flight situation there's no

[00:44:19] Jacob: Wolf following you at all times because of the **** that you think you need to fight and the question is are you gonna feed it though you're gonna feed the wolf so like you can look at all these things and you really just choose to get upset about it like that guy text you hey man DJ suck do you care about that the dude you know really care about well **** that guy this opinion doesn't matter like you can't let opinions of people that you don't care about affect you at all so having more fortitude and allowing what affects human doesn't is definitely a piece of this but also just not even looking at it helps as well like I would

[00:44:58] Spencer: Say 80 to 85% of social media is

[00:45:01] Jacob: Probably negative I mean even if they're memes like there's not a lot of positive memes like jokes are pretty derogatory inherently which is funny I love jokes they're great but of memes to memes are awesome you can't live your whole existence just being a meme can't be a meme or you know well you can't be me more but it's probably good money design where I guess but the body doesn't know the difference between you getting in an argument and having a like a stress dump or you are about to be eaten

[00:45:32] Spencer: It's the same exact response can we talk about the long-term effects that like it just in your opinion like take a look at like let's say we have two people this just the most simple experiment ever this person is in a Firefly it responds because they get notifications every 15 minutes and it's enough for them to respond or they watch the news or something corner of their eye every 15 to 20 minutes it keeps them in so person on the Left blue person is their fight flight because they're getting a lot of notifications person on the right red person over the course of 15 years they both grow up one person gets notifications and has Facebook one person doesn't their health over the course of 15 years of let's say in this analogy so every waking hour their fight-or-flight is turned on they're connected to social media because they have notifications from their phone and they're fairly popular in this situation

[00:46:22] Jacob: Okay 15 years so stress management has

[00:46:25] Spencer: Been my utmost important thing in training people and helping people so this is gonna be I'm glad you asked so let's in this hypothetical situation let's say that this person on social media this is an Asif stressor because I'm assuming that some people it's not so I'm just gonna act like that's not a thing for this so what happens when you get stressed your body's not in a state of healing so sympathetic nervous system

[00:46:53] Jacob: Flight action you have the pit of

[00:46:56] Spencer: Adrenaline your body's ignoring functions like digestion and eeling and recovering so you're inherently gonna have more gut issues I think that's a big part of it when your cortisol is high you have a higher insulin Center

[00:47:09] Jacob: Insulin insensitivity so your cells

[00:47:12] Spencer: Reject like your muscle cells and your liver cells reject insulin which carries nutrients to places and then they just get backlog and they will put on body fat so this person is going to hold more body fat be less healthy their respiration rate and so the rate that they're breathing is gonna be faster than others which is going to cause like knots and a lot of tension in their upper chest and upper back I read a study that our respiration rates have increased in the last 300 years by like double because people are more stressed so people are breathing twice as much that's huge I mean that's a huge thing I think so much which is super indicative of really poor breathing habits which can cause a lot of knots in your upper back and in your mid-back I've actually seen people when they do a lot of breath work and learn how to breathe correctly the diaphragm they stop having knots like all the regions in their back they always get and all this neck pain just kind of goes away and that posture gets better the this

[00:48:11] Spencer: Person is going to be more than likely more rational because they're always living in this state of being hyper aroused which doesn't allow for a lot of like inductive and deductive reasoning because the firm part of their brain that does reasoning just isn't really

[00:48:25] Jacob: Ever on because they're always in fight-or-flight mode is this the same part of your brain that when you drink too much alcohol turns off you know I don't know I think it is or is it the hippocampus it turns your hippocampus off because that's what records memory but it also increases your emotional output which I don't know what side of the brain that is but that's what I'll call does to you it's weird if you just see I see a little connection and the way that let's see

[00:48:53] Spencer: What else sleeps so cortisol is a master stress hormone and a little bit good you need it to wake up it helps mobilize fatty acids so you do need it but having it

[00:49:03] Jacob: Always around is really detrimental

[00:49:06] Spencer: Excuse me because it's really gonna affect your sleep because you need to get into a parasympathetic stay to sleep

[00:49:16] Jacob: Sleep seems to be like the it's something for me that I always I knew it was like I do to sleep it in this is always repeated a lot of podcast - it's like sleep is like yeah I know but like you always kind of seemed like sleep is something that I'm gonna work on later in my life you know sleep is the master key to life because in order to actually

[00:49:36] Spencer: Fight cortisol and are really hyper because we don't live the world now is not how our bodies are designed to navigate there's too many things it's too hyper stress you have too much stuff to do so you already are at a higher propensity for having really high stress levels and sleep is the best way to mitigate these things sadly it's really hard to sleep in you're stressed because you haven't got a lot of cortisol and it's an arousing chemical so how do we combat this meditation breathwork eating

[00:50:06] Jacob: Quality meals so here's a fun fact when

[00:50:09] Spencer: People get really stressed out they tend to binge on carbohydrates like oh let's go eat ice cream so carbohydrates are a way for your body to naturally deal with or counterbalance cortisol so that's why I'm not super into no carb and I also think you should eat some carbs before bed because it will help you sleep this is what I mean when I say your intelligence will turn against you I say that phrase often like your body's

[00:50:34] Jacob: Trying to help you out he's trying to get it for you know like oh I know that this substance is in Karp's so I'm gonna eat carbs but it's like but we find the justification of why do I want carbs it's because of this actually this is what I like this is my interests or whatever it is just this quirky meme I

[00:50:51] Spencer: Mean ice cream I'm sad team Nutella yeah but it's not good to just binge on food because you're stressed though you got a look at why you're stressed in the first place like this is just a product of this you need to figure out why this is happening and maybe change or even if it's something you can't control find a way to mitigate this because the quickest way you're gonna die is to be really stressed out you get Alzheimer's from not sleeping high cortisol which is essentially plaque builds up in your brain and then it stops functioning really well which sleep actually flushes a lot of that out and the problem is when you're really stressed out you can't sleep so I would go on a limb and say stress is the number one killer because it increases heart rate lack of sleep you don't eat as well you don't eat as much so a lot of times I get hung up when I'm like

[00:51:38] Spencer: What I'm doing like a little bit of individual or work with people a huge thing that's that doesn't seem to click and it didn't click a lot for me is a lot of people dude yeah I know this I'm stressed and I can't sleep like me I'd be like yeah dude of course I can't sleep because I have nightmares and I don't want to sleep and I feel shitty waking up and blah I have all these things of like I didn't realize it but I was in the victim I was like it's like these things are happening to me and I think I can do nothing about them and you would say I would say phrases like I got tried whatever I've tried whatever but it's like then now that I actually have spent so much time really trying the breath work not just using it for when I am anxious but like doing it every morning for a month or doing and every morning for four this week or doing breath work right before bed or

[00:52:25] Jacob: Doing yoga and stretches for five minutes before bed like do it like doing these things and making sure you really do them for a long stint of time you

[00:52:33] Spencer: Realize that if you're lucky enough to

[00:52:36] Jacob: Form the habit you know you can you realize that okay I am actually sleeping better oh and you have these little tools to actually navigate so I think that a lot of people do they don't realize it but they get stuck in the victim part of I do feel these things

[00:52:51] Spencer: Yeah it must be easy for you to say dummy because I would love to just sleep a good night yeah that'd just be nice if it was as easy as that yeah bro I tried that a lot of people will tell me how I tried that and realistically it's like give me the honest truth have you tried it more than once or twice because I think that people really need to not

[00:53:09] Jacob: Be so instant about like you can't take a pill and just not be stressed in your whole world is perfect you get a wonderful night's sleep you know maybe you can but what's the long-term effects of that I think we need to look at our healing and like how do I make my sleep not better this week as I'm 27 some 28 whatever we need to look at how

[00:53:27] Spencer: Do i overall improve my health like how do i change the way that i long term do things how do i make it to where i do breath work for the rest of my life and get good sleep these things I and I think that it's important I think that it's not staying stuck in that I've I can't do it I know these things and I

[00:53:46] Jacob: Would love for that man but I'm where I'm at I think just knowing that you can change and knowing that step by step these things there is ways you said some to me I thought was really funny it's very short quippy that's a nice excuse bro I just thought

[00:54:00] Spencer: That was so funny cuz I came for what I was gonna do but you're like hey man you should do this no my god man I don't know if I had time you're like it's cool excuse my dam you're right I think about

[00:54:09] Jacob: That all the time now III couldn't say that to everybody you're a very recieving friend like we have this like we know each other's **** and we know that the real you and I Spencer like we know that we want the best for each other we're know like would want to be these but these big versions of ourselves not the lower conscious like just eating **** ruffles all day you know so like when I'm able to say nice excuse bro you were

[00:54:32] Spencer: Able to say damn it you're right thanks like immediately you're like it caught you and I'm sure wherever you were at your shoulders probably lowered and you're like uh-huh son of a **** I thought it was funny but it was it was very valid and I think I mean the problem is oh yeah I try to sleep good well yeah everyone tries to sleep good I mean you can't just decide oh I'm gonna go to bed one hour earlier and that's gonna solve the problem like sleep is a very highly complicated thing and there's a lot of **** in your life that's making it not function very well and you should probably start weeding things out and the phone is a **** for sleep because the blue light from it keeps you up so blue light exposure it comes from the Sun usually and we didn't have artificial light when we were evolving so when you your eyes see blue light they're like okay the sun's out so we're awake surviving it emits that so people I could sit on social media for like an hour and a half before they go to bed or just like sit and do nothing

[00:55:28] Spencer: And look at their phone before they sleep like screen time is not inherently very good I found myself multiple times where you're just dreading waking up the next day so you just will sit for a couple hours and look at your phone to prolong the time travel that is sleep to tomorrow because you don't want to do it and just sighing it's like man tomorrow's gonna happen as probably go to bed that was hopeful turning a half of all the lights off in your house throughout two to three hours where you go to bed really helpful for seven eight breath tempo

[00:56:02] Jacob: Right before bed so four seconds in hold

[00:56:05] Spencer: For seven out for eight should help you sleep a lot mm-hmm no caffeine past noon or at least eight hours before you go to bed this is something I always take a pin in because there was another thing that I was I wasn't honest with myself about is the caffeine thing I was like no I need caffeine because I work at this and I'm a DJ and I stay up these hours and I don't need sleeping blah I don't have three monsters a day and I'm like oh I need this because then I'm gonna get headaches and then I need this pre-workout or I can't work out all these excuses but it's good enough oh dude caffeine there is a weight like it like I went from that to for a while which is zero caffeine like I and I didn't die my head didn't explode I felt uncomfortable for a few days and I had a headache but I just I just itched read through it so yeah when I was really depressed and anxious under caffeine for five months and nothing changed like my

[00:56:53] Spencer: Life it actually I had more steady energy but the reason that I like caffeine is I just like the I just like the stimulant feeling it's not that I need to be awake I just like to be extra awake so and then I will find myself at like 7:00 I'm like damn I would love an energy drink because it would feel great but I'm trying to sleep tonight so caffeine's got a half-life of six hours so that means at hour six half of it's

[00:57:17] Jacob: Still in your system and that compounds so if you drink 300 milligrams at 12 at 6 W hundred and fifty at 12 there be 75

[00:57:25] Spencer: But if you drink multiple doses of caffeine so if you drink 312 and 304 like you now just have there's a like a lot of it floating around in your system and it binds to a receptor the adenosine receptor in your brain which blocks another thing I think it's not gaba

[00:57:43] Jacob: But it's a molecule that it goes to the same thing that tells you to go to bed and that's why it keeps you awake so it just actually blocks your ability to sleep fuelie so okay so think about okay

[00:57:56] Spencer: Fight with me on this say that you were talking to me I'm arguing I'm a caffeine guy and this is something I would also say even farther is I'm a kind of guy monsters don't affect me I could have one on my bedside I can lean over take a drink and go back to bed no big deal what would you have to say about that well just because you are sleeping doesn't mean it's good sleep at all I mean yeah it's just not good

[00:58:17] Jacob: Necessarily and so after about two weeks

[00:58:20] Spencer: The caffeine high you'll stop having it but the awakeness of it like that binding to that receptor of that molecule is always the same amount of potency so caffeine will always make you the same amount of awake it just won't make you the same amount of stimulated that's why it just always kind of works and so even if you're having it to not have a headache yeah and if you're if you're really tolerant to it's still having that effect on you whether you like it or not and just not all sleep is good sleep either you like this I think sleep and the morning should be the most ritualized part of your life I'm with you on that elaborate more on that what do you mean like sleep in the morning how are they correlated well the morning is just

[00:59:03] Jacob: A good preparation for the day and it gets you in a good mindset and not looking at social media is a big part of that instead what I do like brush my teeth because the movement helps me wake up drink a glass of water with some salt in it getting in the shower bathe take a

[00:59:19] Spencer: Cold shower for two minutes and then do breath work because those two things they stimulate adrenaline and norepinephrine Act that's the same thing they wake you up without caffeine so I don't actually need to drink caffeine in the morning because of it get out meditate Journal and then I eat what's

[00:59:37] Jacob: Your what's your mental what are you what's your thought structure like when you're in the shower so for me a huge thing is I'm always like it doesn't matter if I'm in a whiny mood if doesn't matter if I'm sick when I turn the nozzle to cold this is my affirmations of like Jake you're a good man you're a strong man you can do this who are you like the it's my like Tony Robbins two-minute moment for five minute moment you know cuz I do I am I do my regular shower and then have my two to five minutes afterwards just as well what are what is your mind like during this because it neva tably what you want to do was a record it's cool and you want to clench up and you want to take that big but what you know you want to be telling your mind like don't take that big breath just remain calm keep your shoulders relaxed you want to be telling yourself good thoughts - what do you say

[01:00:24] Spencer: Spencer well first off this is cold and

[01:00:27] Jacob: Suck it up buttercup it's just like how you know you got a lift some days you don't want to know so I can man suck it up **** that's what you do mm-hmm come on Lady yeah you uh you flipped that to cold and I'll just try to focus on the actual sensation of it on my skin rather than I'm cold and that helps a lot the sensation instead of instead of feeling like this is cold I know what cold is saying like what is the feeling of cold right yeah it's like let's just like meditating it's so cold that you can't even think about anything else so instead of feeling like oh I'm freezing I want to get out I just like try to only focus on my actual bodily

[01:01:04] Spencer: Experience and not put any mental effort into it and just be stimulated by it I actually really enjoy taking cold showers the pipes have been getting cold is winter and it's been a little rough but I do it ever seen their scene yeah it's funny it's something that I have probably been doing for a year and a half I mean at least a year now and it

[01:01:25] Jacob: Is it's something that it doesn't even it just it's a subconscious thing I just turned the water to call it at the end of my shower like it like there is a couple times where sometimes I'll get out of the shower if I'm like not at my

[01:01:36] Spencer: Home or I'll like take a hotel shower or something and I'll get out in I wouldn't have it's almost like my body's like what are you doing you didn't do the cold thing because I'll forget and I'll honestly get back in and do it cold really quick before drying off if I had forgotten because it's an enjoyable thing so listener if it seems kind of crazy and you're like why would I want to be uncomfortable I'm doing a cold shower what's the benefit of that in the morning there's plenty of benefits you can research those for days and days but to advocates here Spencer and I it does get better and it becomes something that you enjoy and I think that making sure you insert either a present moment like

[01:02:12] Jacob: Just feel the water on your skin concentrate on your breath perhaps or even like I do sometimes you know be that Tony Robbins be that cheerleader like be like come on man you're a beast what are you gonna do today all right cool we're gonna tackle it we're gonna kick ass we're gonna smell super good because we're just a shower doing it whatever you got to do just like hi Pierre that beer Heitmann every morning you know and see how think about how your day is going to be how you're gonna approach your problems with that mindset versus arguing about someone who is the opposite side of the political spectrum than you know for 35 minutes during your morning cup of coffee on Facebook just wondering how your day is gonna be different maybe a little I would assume maybe a

[01:02:54] Spencer: Little and then the night time that's just that this is your time to wind down

[01:02:58] Jacob: I had a client it's just a business owner one of the most high stress people I've ever met in my whole life and you just got a you got a line down like you can't just go home like this and go to bed like if you just will

[01:03:14] Spencer: Take the time it's like 30 minutes and

[01:03:16] Jacob: Just relax set the phone down just breathe for a while like drink some water enjoy yourself just enjoy doing nothing maybe reflect a little you're gonna sleep a lot better yeah I mean it kind of like we talked about in b-pack says the same thing like just going on a walk is sometimes you know like sometimes what's more important then I need to get depend right the **** now is instead of getting 30 minutes of laying in bed on your phone trying to get tired because you need to get to bed right now what if you took 30 minutes of not going

[01:03:50] Spencer: To bed but just winding down and maybe

[01:03:52] Jacob: Slowly doing the dishes or slowly taking a short walk in your own home by yourself or journaling or something finding some way to wine down Spencer what are some other ways that you find to wind down um I never get really wound up so I have the gift I think everybody would say that though no I really have not that wound up though like I could sleep it basically any moment I were a watch the tracks on my sleep and an average sleep latency so how long it takes you have a bed is like 20 minutes mine's like 1 to 2 like it's like I could just lay down and go to bed whenever I want it's never been a problem but after wearing this I realized my sleep quality's not super great mm-hmm well ok not even that high

[01:04:35] Spencer: Qualities go but I just won't sleep long enough I'm sleeping less time than I think because I was calculating time in bed as time sleeping and haven't spent about an hour in the running just laying around and I would spend about just like 30 minutes like laying around like looking at my phone or whatever so I was actually getting like 1 to 2 hours less sleep than I thought I think that another thing

[01:04:54] Jacob: Adding your phone to just your

[01:04:57] Spencer: Brains view of your bedroom um I don't really **** with my phone in the bedroom anymore it's not a strict I'm not insane about it I just not like the phone is never in the bedroom but I pretty much just used that room to sleep and so I

[01:05:11] Jacob: What in my reasoning for that is you know the thing that I tell myself I might do it if you're in this room you're sleeping like if you ain't making the bed or you're not just like saying good morning to Shaylee whatever it is you're sleeping like it's sanctuary yeah and I think that you know I'm granted that like I'm you know my home here is big enough to where I have about plenty of other places to do things but even if you just have a one-bedroom apartment a studio whatever it is maybe just make it to where like you make your bed in the morning and just make a rule for yourself like I don't touch my phone in the bed unless I'm double checking my alarms and then I'm putting it away or whatever but don't sit on your bed and text don't but like maybe find a chair that if you want to be in your room and text or be on your phone or whatever just try to like do little things like it's kind of you know being nice to your brain and trying to maybe even like work on that placebo try it out just be like when I'm in my room

[01:06:05] Spencer: I don't touch my phone in my bed they do not combine it's just a rule that I have you just don't make a habit of it I mean real life is just dictated by habits in general if you make a habit to not do that you won't I'm gonna go on some woowoo stuff that I just can't empirically prove at all but I'm pretty sure this affects you Wi-Fi signals are

[01:06:22] Jacob: Radio waves and your brain works on frequencies and I don't think it's probably that helpful to have them on when you're sleeping so unplug your router also your phone lets off EMF

[01:06:34] Spencer: Frequencies which can really affect just your natural circadian rhythm and your output I've done I've seen other people do this is just like a little gem experiment you have your phone flat on your skin and from what I've noticed I can prove any of this is that I have less work output and b-pack said the

[01:06:52] Jacob: Same thing that's actually why I tried this like he can and he can have he has worse if his phone's touching his skin so if you're gonna have in your bedroom at least put on airplane mode mm-hmm when maybe that's something that we can all perform you know like just sit like you know you don't have to just believe it just because we're just some dudes talking about it try it out maybe try a little areas if you're like we're like whatever other people's version of working out while touching their phone like try to try to have an intuitive 10-minute conversation with your phone just in your hand not looking at it just hanging by your right side versus your phone not touching you at all do sometimes I notice even just the distraction of it must be our subconscious like oh I know my phones over here sometimes when I meditate in the morning I have to chuck my phone all the way across the room even if I'm using an app or something because I don't want if I do any sort of open eye meditation I don't want the corner of my eye to catch my phone and try to be like yeah why is a reason why Jake needs

[01:07:44] Jacob: To feel dopamine right now in your brain will find the reason to grab that phone so you were talking about he just has

[01:07:51] Spencer: Sitting on his lap so in his pocket

[01:07:53] Jacob: Oh okay yeah right pocket I just think that we're well I know that we're very highly sensitive to a lot of things that were not aware of because they're not necessarily tangible and it's probably kind of just like how people were born by power plans a lot of them will get like terrible cancer if you're like buy a power station like these things are emitting some form of energy or frequency and it's probably affecting you I can't tell you what 100% is but I would bet my life on it this is affecting in some way and it definitely affects sleep for a myriad of reasons so get an alarm blog yeah I

[01:08:32] Spencer: Agree I think that noticing all

[01:08:35] Jacob: Those little things that well I kind of

[01:08:37] Spencer: Compared to sent so it's like I can't

[01:08:41] Jacob: See it you know it's another one those things I can't see Bluetooth signals I can't see Wi-Fi but it's floating around and it doesn't directly affect me like blah but think about if you didn't have a nose and people were just farting all around you wouldn't know that you're just breathing there fart air man think about that beer you're just like if you if right now I just **** my pants on this podcast I just poop and you're listening or you're

[01:09:06] Spencer: Listening your nose is listening if you didn't have a nose you wouldn't be to smell it and there's some like toxic gases that are sent list and that's definitely there you don't know it don't they put I don't think put they make the smell of something natural gas natural gas I smelled like eggs yeah they could make it smell like strawberries a pleasant really unpleasant so you go away and don't die I feel like you we

[01:09:33] Jacob: You know what is it what sense do to us we do get offended a sense like when something smells bad you're not like what is that smell you always want to blame it on someone you notice that you like who's cooking that **** or like Oh Longview or oh the mills or Oh like it yeah every time you smell something that you don't like you want to blame someone right away you notice that so horrible you can display quell dissent just change and this scent is not particularly like the scent that it was before I have a very sensible factory

[01:10:03] Spencer: System and sentence really put me off so living here is kind of hard I'm huge on I'm huge on sense too I feel like I'm

[01:10:12] Jacob: Just very sensitive to sense mm-hmm probably just sleep better I know it's not that easy but third of your life and

[01:10:23] Spencer: It's the most important recovery time so that's a couple good tips on unsleeping better I think adding blackout curtains like - JD's room is a cave of darkness

[01:10:33] Jacob: It should be they black out curtains whoo I think they're like $10 at one - I mean I think people should prioritize their sleep more just like whatever you can do to whatever sleep you are getting how about that just make it the best it can't be you know where they wear whatever clothes you need to be that to be the comfiest put your phone in a different place lock out the curtains spend $10 on a fan that has just a

[01:10:55] Spencer: Little bit of background noise or when you're making cuts to your life because you don't have enough time to do all your stuff don't cut sleep people like to do that people like they've got okay so if they have a schedule and it's got room for two blocks and it's got like work play and sleep for three blocks yeah well maybe go to bed and it's gonna be way more beneficial for you like stop like

[01:11:19] Jacob: Cutting sleep time to do other

[01:11:22] Spencer: Superfluous things that are deaf not as important yeah sometimes I do I have this I'm like I'm an artist I don't want to lose this thought like I'll be like working on some super shitty beat or something late and I'm convinced that it's super good and I'm like I can't go to bed blah but it's realistically like if I reuse revisit it in the morning would have be way more

[01:11:41] Jacob: More slept and more rounded about the subject whatever it is that you're working on in the morning after you have some sleep you're gonna handle it better you're gonna handle the thirty minutes of being super tired kind of shitty but you're gonna handle thirty minutes of being well-rested and feeling awake and fruitful you're kind of getting more done in that thirty minutes sleep is important Spencer just breathe

[01:12:05] Spencer: Just breathe from your belly and I think breathing we were talking about are we getting up here on time I believe

[01:12:14] Jacob: So yeah like ten fifteen so let's end it with this we're talking about something that Shelley was telling me she had she had essentially a patient while back ago that was had been in the

[01:12:28] Spencer: Military and they were able to slow their heart rate very quickly and they were able to like as she was taking their heart rate just slow it down slow their breathing way down and she was talking about this and I'm able to do that too now it's something that I wasn't able to do before I even though I've been sitting this person for a long time many years it's something that I don't think that I had the ability to do I had terrible anxiety all these things and now I can put my hand on my heart my heart's being super fast and I could see like an eight to ten second breath out and I could slow my heart rate very quickly this is something we're talking about this is a super good thing like there's something that like was a casual conversation between Shane and I but I'm like oh this can be taught I used to not do this and within the last year I've learned how to do it so can you expand on this like how good this is like not even just for anxiety attacks but just having this ability to like slow our heart rates yeah it's

[01:13:25] Spencer: Awesome to do that because you're now less stressed how many deep breaths put you in a pair of sympathy no state which is healing feeding feeling it's nice and well it's just regenerative and it's now or people usually are because they're stressed out so like snipers will reduce our heart rate or like ninjas would reduce their heart rate and to almost like nothing to appear dead

[01:13:50] Jacob: Yes it's very cool so short you can also do it both ways to like you gonna get real excited for like a sporting event or like a lift like quick and quick out

[01:14:00] Spencer: Quick and cool you want nice slow pulling inhale and then an even slower excel even hold it for a couple seconds at the top for really going to bed for in 7 hold 8 out it's really gonna drive you to sleep I really like that one there's a TED Talk actually on this I don't remember it's something about search TED talks and breath dude the breath is the Forgotten art so anti chi

[01:14:25] Jacob: Chi is breath it's breath energy like people like to think it's like this metaphysical like magic it's just the utilization of breath to output more force because they know if they could lock down on their diaphragm and control this breath they could output more force so right the ability to control the breath I mean it's something you do a lot you breathe a lot and it's just we it's an autonomic thing so we don't put a lot of stock into it's kind of the first thing you ever did if you think about it when you got out the veg canal you just took a big old breath air

[01:15:00] Spencer: I just think if you're trying to solve problems just keep following it back what's the problem what's the problem we need to start winning to start I mean go all the way back first thing we did was breath I'm making connections that don't really exist but nobody taught us how to breathe or focus yeah you just did it yeah but we live in such a complicated time that now we're actually having to be like oh we moved so quickly that we have to like oh what did we use to do to make sure we're balancing these things it's something that we didn't realize we'd never have to do probably as a species but these are things that we need to connect with our more primitive things and learn about them so breath work is something that it is something that you need to be patient with it does have instant effects like you can do it your first time and have like wow I feel calm but I'm doing I'm building you kind of changed the way you breathe I breathe more for my belly rather than my chest now and I'm also through like singing stuff my the muscles around breathing

[01:15:49] Spencer: And your throat and they change there's all these little micro muscle however that works are changing and strengthening in different ways I think just continually doing things like I can't imagine the long-term effects of continuing all this breadth work I think it's just gonna be great for inflammation for all these things them I

[01:16:06] Jacob: Did wim HOF breathing method before I ran like three miles the other day and it was I was I was pretty far into it

[01:16:15] Spencer: Before I started feeling as if I needed to take deeper breaths like I was able to I did win my breathing and pretty much like stood up and got my like obviously mental clarity and made sure I was gonna like faint or anything and you started running and I was able to run for quite a while in like just a normal just in and out on an even in and out breath until I had to start like okay I'm getting more tired need to extend my breath or change it up well so if you want to calm down wim HOF breathing is not the go-to oh yeah actually yeah that's a very excited Toria breath work or like fire like fire breathing is or like dragon's breath is another technique excitatory yes like you make a wake up you don't use that to go down

[01:16:53] Spencer: Yeah in first-timers who haven't done any breath work don't go don't do wim hof breathing and then go for a run that's done just well you might pass out and so just likes it yeah but it is a cool thing I'm actually like I said I've been doing it for a while and it's things that I've like looked into it's cool it's fun it's enjoyable you see this is a good example though because you can do this get really excited to perform really well but you can also use breath to go to sleep like this is just being able this is the ultimate tool in the toolbox that's free and it's not that hard you just must and also people breathe poorly and they use their upper trap and neck muscles to pull their ribs up out of the way their lungs and it causes neck tension so most people's knots are from breathing poorly and if they would start to breathe better their posture and pain would go away right okay and then do one thing I

[01:17:37] Spencer: Do want to end on because I did I tell you that I did the deprivation tank at Exedy I think oh you did not tell me that I did I did the sensory deprivation tank will end here because we got to get going here but when it comes to neck I actually had it my first time there's a place called forever float in Longview and I heard about it yeah the gentleman I think his name is Dave I'll have to recall that correctly but he was very nice he was very he told us all about it was a very comfortable and clean place essentially you lay in a tank of water that the salt makes Italy water and you equally buoyant that didn't make sense you're floating in the water because the salt water and it equals out with your body it's the same temperature as your body so in its dark and essentially

[01:18:19] Spencer: You're floating there and you're able to relax and obviously I was like focusing on my breath and trying to meditate and after a bit I started noticing pops in the back of my neck I was actually releasing tension of my neck that I didn't know I was holding so over time like you're in here for an hour and I would feel more and more and I'm like oh my gosh I'm like these are things that I didn't you can't release when your heads against a pillow because you don't realize you're holding these little micro muscles and so I think that anyway I just wanted to mention the sensory deprivation think we can go more in depth on it later on in life but it's definitely a good thing for neck pain and wrath work it's definitely a

[01:18:55] Jacob: Good thing for I don't know everything yes be kind to yourself the kind yourself take care of yourself I hope you guys benefit from the advice that Spencer and I give if you have any questions I'm just gonna suggest that if you go over to YouTube and comment that we will try to respond or try to have our next conversation around about them because we just we just want to have these conversations to really expand on the little details that can help people and in fine areas that we have had success in and relay them and explain them to people and - so not everybody has to make the same mistakes that we make so take care of yourself listener

[01:19:33] Spencer: My