Episode 042 with Mack T and J Faul - The Last Saturday: Small Town Minds Evolving and An Attitude of Growth

[00:00:06] Intro: Hello and welcome to the Junkyard Love no I like to do self-improvement type stuff I like to learn I like to shove knowledge down my gullet and see if I can understand some of it and I like to share that with other people in the form of recommendations at the beginning of my podcasts so here you are today I'm gonna recommend the rebirth of nature that is on the Rupert Sheldrake YouTube channel that came out a week ago I listened to it on my way up to a hike yesterday fricken made me totally it made me think a lot when I was just looking out at the craziness that is nature it was awesome check it out the rebirth of nature Rupert Sheldrake this episode is with Mack T and J Faul it's awesome these are a couple of my buds it's interesting to see the dynamic and the just weird shifts that have happened since then that was March 14th I think was when we recorded it and the lock down came into play in our area the 16th it was a very quick flip switch so it's interesting to listen to the vibes the you know the differences in tonality about certain things I think it's

[00:01:49] Jacob: Something definitely worth pointing out in taking a look at and kind of listening to if you're listening to anything that's old or new or just the shifting vibes how they are day-to-day and how our attitudes are so you know transformed and instantly changed by the news and scare tactics and what's real and what's not **** who the hell knows what's real with this crazy news section going on do we can't take care of yourself be aware of the changing times be as clean as you can don't hang out with a ton of people just pick a select for you keep saying take care of your grandma let's get going with the podcast cheers friends when I jumped off and injured Myself I jumped off the Kalama bridge it

[00:02:43] Jacob: Changed my life free like nineteen yeah I can see it's recording so we're not gonna not again it's not certain about a good Jessica and Mackenzie I'm the two wonderful friends what's up welcome hi how are you both Today Jessica we'll start with you how are you today I'm pretty good feeling pretty hmm mildly inebriated at this Point you don't feel full of any virus Or anything yeah no I'm feeling okay I got a little cough though so okay keep it over there but Kenzie how are you doing We'll ask you to leave if she coughs clearly I am great I'm happy to be back home spending time with friends and family it's been really good how Long are you grounded right now from work yeah are you guys like cancelling any flights anything like that yeah flights I can't we went down cut flights by 40% yeah so And then we are grounding 300 planes but I still have a schedule for the rest of March so I'm gonna work that and then I get my April schedule on Monday so we'll see you think he's pretty drastically then yeah they offered people leave of

[00:03:57] Mack: Absences without pay but I don't want to do that so we're just gonna say hi to pay rent and like I didn't think 12 years ahead of time of yeah and eat and I didn't save any money recently so I really need that but yeah I don't think you're alone and then I think a lot of us are the same way yeah so how are you work like mentioned their 401k for he

[00:04:20] Jacob: Was like you could take it I'm like man we're here six months do you think I have who 401k retirement

[00:04:28] Mack: Those are things that you know it's scary to think about right now - I know like they seem so insignificant at times like these as far as like oh I have one but that is it like that literally gets me nowhere well you got like 40 bucks sweet and it's taxed so I mean I probably I have one that I don't Jake I asked you how you were I'm I am I'm doing pretty well I feel like a medium I my brain just

[00:05:02] Jacob: Just goes to like I'm stressed about the money thing because like cancelling a lot of shows I played last night but like got a text this morning like hey you know there wasn't a huge turnout so we're like we may not be doing DJ's for the foreseeable future cuz like if people are staying at home there's just not a ton of people I play soap star that's okay yeah and so you know just like little gigs cancelling and then like my spring tour candy league's my big stuff cancelled - for audio for audio directing so

[00:05:32] Mack: Stressed about that but I feel overall

[00:05:35] Jacob: Fine like I think it's like obviously Shea Lee's gonna work so we're not like hurting for money but it's obviously I'm taking a hit in the pride and that's like you know yeah it sucks having to like see her work and bust ass like FrontlineSMS she's even a pardon like the hard side you know she's a nurse like it's if things get crazy it's gonna be certainly crazy to her first yeah and she doesn't really have a choice with everything going on right

[00:06:01] Mack: He's like she doesn't even Michigan it's amazing yeah dude I don't even like I'll try to tell her about like some envelopment so there's like this thing going on in Mike su we're gonna freak out or they could what are we gonna do like I'm just trying to see where we're at in relationship and she's like yeah that's gonna **** happen to him I says we're **** game night yeah

[00:06:21] Jacob: Dude she's just she's a leader like that she steps into a role pretty well she faces a lot of stuff without like any hesitation yeah like if she has it you

[00:06:31] Mack: Don't see it yeah Shaylee we love you

[00:06:35] Jacob: She's gonna listen to this Shaylee Morin she's gonna be listening to this probably she'll be on her way home from work so be how many people do you

[00:06:46] Mack: Think this is sorry Shelley here we go we've got to go on how many people do

[00:06:52] Jacob: You think listen cuz I know I listen to all my stuff when I'm like driving to and from work for the most part like how many people do you think they listen to your podcasts are doing it when they're like in their car it got to be quite a

[00:07:04] Mack: Few yeah but I feel like people nowadays

[00:07:07] Jacob: Do find time to like inch podcast like at home like because some people will be like I just wasn't three episodes of your podcast in a row like damn you at six hours we like well **** I do that with other kids **** yeah I've listened I listen to betos in my car but

[00:07:25] Mack: The like the one with you too I listen to it in the airport I had downtime between a flight and I just listened to it then I listen to my own in my hotel room on a layover but I feel like when I'm in my car I'm like jamming out yeah I guess you're like in your car is a lot different than like our daily commute yeah so I'd say like yeah in the airport between flights and stuff is when I do it mostly but then when mine came out I was on a layover so like any

[00:07:52] Jacob: Listen to what I sound like is because

[00:07:55] Mack: Like you want to be so self-critical like I feel like I get it with a lot of people cuz a lot of people in the podcast are just first time being on an interview or talking or anything like I don't have a ton of experience with it either like we're always so nervous like how did I say this two months or did I did I whatever or did I say like too much did I say um too much did I say so too much me say oh that's interesting too much that's what I say crazy that's crazy literally I was saying literally yeah taking the word literally in our society and they made it mean the opposite of 97% of our odd lingo is like what how did that get to that because that's not what it means yeah because we're like we're saying

[00:08:40] Jacob: Things that what you mean I get the feeling because language is us just trying to communicate what feelings are yeah and so what we're with a lot of the stuff that our words aren't exactly what they mean when you say oh that's crazy I was telling you guys it's not exactly saying well that is crazy like that's a profoundly textbook definition of crazy it's I'm supporting what you're saying because that was like wild and we're still floating with that part of the conversation yeah you know it's cool to be like create like it's just support as

[00:09:12] Mack: We're talking you know had conversations well I definitely think we're harder on ourselves like if I were to listen to you two I wouldn't notice how many times you say like I wouldn't notice these things I'd just be my best notice that's crazy she literally texted Jake and Mackenzie

[00:09:27] Jacob: And was like you guys I want a podcast with you I want to talk to you nothing about it was like you guys said like to my right and I heard you say this too many times I feel like when it's ourselves we're so we're so hard on

[00:09:40] Mack: Ourselves on the time to do that is it just a comparison thing like I don't know probably it's just like I socialized kind of conditioning where you're like don't see this too much because then you tell this way don't say this too much you know well you know actually obviously I'm certain think about it with me I think a lot of its uh we think that with the internet we think

[00:10:00] Jacob: That like we can be represented at once like no matter how hard you try like you

[00:10:07] Mack: Can't be represented in like a one podcast like so it's like how I have Mackenzie on it's like well now you know everything about her like it's impossible like so we're like we know we're like so self-critical we're like how great people are gonna think that I'm a so-and-so because we're making the correlation of like if I say like a lot I'm some sort of like knucklehead you know or whatever yeah or I think everything's crazy any story cuz she's

[00:10:34] Jacob: Gonna think it's crazy like yeah it's crazy cuz and when I was listening to my podcast I was like wow I think everything's crazy every single thing we're talking about I think sometimes that's just our way of like containing what we want to say like ya know how you

[00:10:53] Mack: Automatically are like okay I'm gonna start saying something because your brain is think not listening you're not listening well enough so when you say things like that you're like okay I'm keeping on tasks with them even if it's not really like relevant you're keeping on task with their conversation yeah I completely agree with that maybe we yeah maybe we use it like help ourselves focused yeah I have to I think I have maybe I need a start to the sentence before I start seeing like what I really mean I just need to throw something out there first and then I go and then I continue with my thought

[00:11:27] Jacob: Every sentence I'm going to say this yeah it's cool though because when you when you do hear yourself you know I

[00:11:35] Mack: Still do you kind of default back into saying like in that sort of thing but when I listen to myself and now that I'm not so self-critical like I've edited enough podcast and heard my voice so I'm like twenty five thirty five times I

[00:11:49] Jacob: Know and I'm like or you could edit it out too you know at the beginning I feel like I did I would be talking to someone I would lose my train of thought and I had like so much shame behind that we had that conversation in our podcast yeah dude and I would like delete like the outer like edit out that like three second like where I'm like apologize I can't I'm so sorry like because that because you think that you need to I own this impressive host I'm this whatever is like they don't **** think that yeah like oh they all listen to Joe Rogan hi Tyler and I just said today like he says he like gets in you're the face of the person that's there and he'll say something 17 times and like he doesn't

[00:12:27] Mack: Know you used to do all live thank you it'll definitely in my podcast with you I think I was just like staring at your wall and I totally lost train of thought what I was saying and I was like wait where was I going with this there's a lot to like grab your mind

[00:12:42] Jacob: Yeah this is actually grown quite a bit since the last time that I think I was here yeah I've always had I once

[00:12:49] Mack: Since I started doing it I'd say once a week i ride on it maybe once every two weeks but lately I feel like it's like a few times a day I've added like little things that's great that means your mind's working yeah I mean like that you

[00:13:03] Jacob: Know your brain is actually working God I'm doing great so far nobody's here to see

[00:13:14] Mack: It as like it's my brain you know because there's so many whether it was like all the things I listened to or things that I read or lyrics that I heard or other motivational people who

[00:13:26] Jacob: Said it or poetry from me or whatever like all these things are like just been such my life the last like two-and-a-half years whatever and so it's cool to see it's like oh yeah is like what your brain has been doing so it's a representation of well we talked about that before I think you said the phrase like welcome to my mind because these are all thoughts that I've collected Jay said that she came down

[00:13:50] Mack: Her Buckeye she's like wow it's pretty crazy to be inside your mind or something like that it definitely feels like pot though I feel like that with you night when I lived alone you know in the old apartment oh yeah did so much art in so much writing and I go back to it now and I'm like who and the heck was that person where is that brain but I don't get that same kind of alone time now I get alone time but it's just not the same like complete solitude and I think about it I'm like dang I had

[00:14:18] Jacob: Quite the brain I have that same brain but it's just I do a less of the like

[00:14:24] Mack: Invert type of like I would write it down now I just I'm like what and poor Tyler just has to hear it well now that

[00:14:35] Jacob: You know that you guys like do you have more space and time are you going to try and like dive into that side of your brain again yeah absolutely I have like a I'm excited for you guys to come see it I have Tyler has a room like a whole room for his justice gaming in his time because his alone time is his space like he needs and he likes to play games and I like to like create and read and draw

[00:14:59] Mack: And I don't know like meld into this creator I guess but I have a little den that's like an art studio and like my little library and my desk is there it's technically my office yeah because it's a business now that's where our is yeah let's talk

[00:15:18] Jacob: About that yeah tell me about the business yes we can okay tell us certain things okay so

[00:15:23] J: We're rolling out Lacy and I are rolling out a little business we'll like mobile bartending gloves yeah it's pretty cool because it's something like and this is something like Lacey and I want to do together we want to do a podcast if we're gonna do anything about it we're gonna do something like Lacey and I cuz you gotta hear from Lacey she's the other half of this you know not so bad good she's the **** you're gonna really like yeah you're gonna have you for better I don't think I've met her but I've heard a lot about I my little Arizona gang is like Lacey from a z/os series actually hahaha well like everyone knows that Maz mayor's on a friend yeah but we're starting a little just like mobile bartending it's technically like our catering cuz we don't sell alcohol so we don't have to like we get away with things like we don't have to have a liquor license we're just really expensive and really costly and really annoying and then where our goal is to

[00:16:23] Jacob: Like eventually build into a company

[00:16:25] J: That we can like leasing wants you know like Brandon's doing wedding videography and Lacey wants to be doing stuff in the wedding industry or you know we don't Lacey's a bartender she does want to do that forever I never wanted to do that forever so we're just trying to like kind of do something that's like fun like we can come to your wedding for four to six hours and have a hell of a time and we're fun yeah it's such a cool idea yeah I feel and it's so taboo

[00:16:50] Jacob: Around here there's really not even like as much research as have we done as we've done there's really not a lot of

[00:16:57] J: Mobile bartending companies there are like our tenders who will come to your event mmm like we have an actual bar we intend on having a little like trailer eventually that we can like you want us to pop-up it the vancouver market okay

[00:17:11] Jacob: Here we are yeah so total your own hours and stuff like that too you don't have to make it this huge thing yeah so

[00:17:19] J: It's a work in progress but it's something that like Lacey's the creative mind behind all of it and I'm just kind of like that I know people like I like an ocean yeah somebody to be able to like I mean you could be a genius what is like Steve Wozniak it's steeped you know you need someone who's a genius and knows the creative ideas and someone who could present those to not look like a crazy person to the investors yeah absolutely I was like we're all planning and Lacey's like here's 15 pages of all these ideas that are like here and I'm like Lacey we got to work on one thing at a time and she's like I can't I feel like I ring a bell

[00:17:59] Jacob: With that yeah yes that's awesome I'm so happy for you guys do we start in that I'll be like a new journey too and yeah it was cool like we Thailand I took a

[00:18:10] Mack: Trip to Colorado to visit some friends came back and like I got a new job a new position I guess with UPS different hours which was super nice because I'd the 4 a. m. thing was just a big suck fest so I got a new position and then a week later we had like put down on a house that was a surprise that was literally like Kyle and I were like let's rent for another year and then the next day we're like let's actually put an offer on this buy this one yeah let's

[00:18:38] Jacob: Do it and then at the same time

[00:18:41] J: Lacey and I were like let's start this business like it just all was like let's do it life just hit like that yeah and I'm like yeah and then you know as it's coming up like oh my god but it feels scary and amazing yeah it feels good once at all levels out and you just get organized it we are great we're moved in now so that's like that's done that's

[00:19:04] Jacob: Gone that's not even an issue anymore yeah and the business is like pretty much rolling and I mean right the new

[00:19:11] J: House we have to wait that's why we're

[00:19:15] Jacob: Waiting right this is like it the whole world's on pause right now do you feel like ye like you I don't know but like a few years ago if this all this stuff came at you would you feel as ready for it and like do you feel like you've been going through changes like improvement

[00:19:30] J: Absolutely I think um I never saw myself

[00:19:35] Jacob: Which like I think you guys probably both know this but like I always thought

[00:19:39] Mack: I was gonna do service work social services that was where I was going I want to be the person who changes the world and then I totally switched gears a year ago finished my master's degree in business like that was super outside of what I ever thought I could do or wanted to do and it's just things are just I realize I'm presented with an opportunity and I can either take it because it's something that I'm like that's a challenge and I can do that but I don't think that a year or two years ago I would have ever thought like hey there's a challenge in front of me I'm gonna I'm gonna learn that like I just it's kind of off topic but not I just applied and interviewed for a position that's a full-time position at UPS and they're like hey what do you know about Excel and I'm like I know what I knew in college you know I had to take it how to learn it how to do it and then I forgot it but I straight-up was like I'll learn it like if this is a position that's gonna advance like yeah it's oh nice I

[00:20:41] Mack: Literally said I'll watch YouTube for like in it hours so if you want me to but I never would have said that and honestly my genuine self is like you don't want to do you don't want to do watch YouTube you don't want to learn Excel but like in my mind I'm like yeah you do why wouldn't you I wouldn't want to learn something new so I think I'm like telling myself do that rather than like straying away from it where the encouraging voice is little louder you know yeah excited you're doing big great

[00:21:13] Jacob: Things yeah things he's like yes I am you do you guys feel so a lot of the stuff that I watched on YouTube a lot of br-2 a lot of woowoo a lot of crazy a lot about mother earth a lot about nature so right now there's like constantly talking about like the feminine energy the feminine energy in the world it seems weird right but uh I feel like the more stuff that I hear and the more that you see like the last few years of course we see it through our lenses but I feel like there's more and more people stepping into their into

[00:21:52] Mack: Their real selves like starting to just like oh yeah I do want this thing better for myself you know I'm like it's not like all of a sudden we like are magically millionaires or something like that but I don't know I think I still don't like

[00:22:04] Jacob: Fully know all like the feminine energy masculine energy stuff like how to like properly explain it's all it's a little over my head still but uh I don't know do you guys notice any like your friends as well as yourselves because you both like we're just talking about like going through changes like feeling better did you guys notice any other people in your lives any other like women standing up and like feeling

[00:22:27] Mack: More empowered changing this is a really hard area for me is it I'm not trying to get political at all by the way like I don't it's not like a news thing at all like oh no I don't know I think I'm

[00:22:46] J: Really and I don't know if this is like for you but I think I've always been pretty like strong female yeah I've

[00:22:52] Jacob: Always had that kind of like I already know what I need what I want what I have I can change and I'm totally okay with that but I feel like throwing the like

[00:23:02] J: Feminism and feminist and those terms it's me riled and I don't know why I don't know why it is but something about it gets me like agitated yeah those terms and that like oh right yes well so

[00:23:17] Jacob: So that's the annoying thing about the media so when I'm talking about feminine energy so if I had never watched the news in my entire life I could be saying exactly the question that has hands - you asked you like if you go through like Buddhist texts and like these things they talk about Fehmi feminine and masculine energy so that's what I'm talking yeah unfortunately I wasn't able to like explain it as well for asking a question but it sucks because like the news media makes you feel like you need to like that's

[00:23:44] J: Crazy like that like it makes me

[00:23:47] Jacob: Bummed out actually yeah okay so you're

[00:23:53] J: Asking if any other women in our lives have become more empowered is that what you're asking or you just the differences of it evolving like more women empowerment throughout the years or just differences between the two I

[00:24:07] Jacob: Guess my like corner of YouTube has been

[00:24:10] J: Talking about like the last like couple years like the of course there's on the media and stuff there's like the feminist stuff and that's not a nut not what I'm talking about okay just like say like a 35 year old woman who has been living like in a victim mentality and she's like not doing good she like finally like leaves her abusive husband or something like that like she finally feels like all the sudden like more spiritually inclined to like take care of herself

[00:24:37] Jacob: Okay I'm I should I should be able to explain feminine energy better but oh

[00:24:42] Mack: I'm getting okay so that story kind of helped me I'm getting yeah just let you're saying I you can also say no I'm just like no I totally believe that I think with a lot of my relationships myself even and people that I know over it's weird that it's only been the last couple years but if you look back to ten years ago I felt like maybe it didn't happen as much so I feel like that is correct I feel me myself I've really grown into a person where before I felt like I let people walk all over me a little bit or

[00:25:15] Jacob: I would make excuses for people treating me certain ways and throughout the last couple years I have been like no I need to do it's better for myself like what's good for me and not what makes them more

[00:25:26] Mack: Comfortable and so is that what kind of

[00:25:29] Jacob: What you're saying holy what I was okay

[00:25:31] Mack: I was like am I just know I've definitely noticed that within the last couple years but it shouldn't just be the last couple of years I mean this should be I feel like I should have owned up to these things and realize these things years ago so I think it has a lot to do with like our aging though the process of like yeah becoming like

[00:25:52] Jacob: We're nearing 30 rather than 20 and I think a lot of the things that we're like seeing repetition in negative things and we realized we're able to recognize those now which is like a pattern that you know you remember to brush your teeth as a child you don't need me as we get older we start recognizing patterns that are negative for us and then we positively are trying to surround ourselves so you're just like Luca part of it is just instinct yeah instinct I completely agree with that it's I feel like it's all through maturing like definitely each year you're grown becoming more yourself and a better

[00:26:30] Mack: Person well hopefully becoming better

[00:26:34] Jacob: People and the availability of like resources and knowledge and information yeah drastically helped yeah he's like you're right like 10 years ago probably even though someone was turning 28 29 30

[00:26:46] Mack: They may not have been seeing things the way we're seeing them or as early yes like a lot of I feel like a lot of women were realizing things like in their 50s after they've been divorced or their kids were grown and gone yeah and like we're like we're not even married were not even there yet and we know what we expect what we deserve and but same thing for men like I think it's the same thing for men where you're like okay I can see that if I love this woman genuinely and I put the effort into it

[00:27:13] Jacob: You know or it myself like men loving themselves is far more common now than it ever was yes even saying men loving themselves would be like a weird sentence yeah not that long ago yeah I feel like more men are able to and obviously what I see through like the community I surround myself with as I see like a lot more men in touch with their emotions in touch with vulnerability in touch with like their own fears their own inadequacies like in in so that those sides of us are like

[00:27:42] J: Those are like the feminine sides of men like it like men have an equally feminine side you know just you know women have a masculine side of them as well no but I think it's great I mean I

[00:28:10] Jacob: Feel like men should be in touch with themselves and what they're feeling they should be able to have they should be able to be open about these things and it kind of saddens me that's not normal because it should be normal for both female and male to be open with emotions and raw and vulnerable and it sucks that just like recently now you know over these years that people are starting to open up with it more it makes me sad that before people felt like they couldn't right yeah it's

[00:28:41] J: Like as like the counselor homie of my friend group like a wide range of people like for many years I get like not doing so good man like those sort of texts like really low and like these guys like

[00:28:59] Mack: You can't get that far with them a lot of the times you know like I've always been a pretty emotional dude I grew up with three older sisters you know so I don't know I feel like the it feels like as a guy a lot of the times you can't really get in touch with your emotions like you understand that they're there you can make I'm not doing so good and then like when it comes to like well you got to look at them and you got to inspect them and you got to say like hey man what is that emotion mean they're like I am NOT doing that's that's girl **** like you're you know what I mean yeah like they'll back up and so I think just or it's a space of uncomfortability right so that like incompetence in understanding your emotions leads you to like ignore it or avoid it or put it off or just it'll go away cuz I'm a man and that's how we deal with **** right yeah your boss well

[00:29:52] Jacob: Yeah I feel the problem is gonna keep persisting unless you dissect it and figure out the root of the issue and what's going on and it does suck that a lot of men and women too it's not just men but a lot of people will be like nope like I don't want to face what's going on so I'm just gonna put on a brave face but it's all about figuring out what's wrong because once you do figure that out it might hurt but you're gonna grow from it and you'll be able to face things better I feel like in the future right I think the same to say for women I know that as because like I was saying

[00:30:30] J: I've always been a very strong female I know that sometimes I don't have enough humility or ability to humble myself and

[00:30:38] Jacob: Say like wow I feel pretty unaware of

[00:30:41] Mack: How to do that a lot of for a long time and I would say the last few years I've been really good about like just saying like I don't know how to do that but I feel like women have had a long stretch

[00:30:52] Jacob: Of like we've been like driving or

[00:30:55] Mack: Selves to be this confident and this is

[00:30:59] Jacob: I think partially just social media yes the kind of like the bid war are you this or this or you this like I'm not sweet and sultry and I'm not gonna post daisies and flowers on my but kind of want to cuz they're cute yeah sometimes I'm like **** I want to post like I'm all dressed out in black and I feel you know I have like 15 different personas I want to be but I never will not I shouldn't say I never will I used to never like humble myself enough to say like I actually know how to be soft and sweet I actually know how to like I oughta flirt weird enough and I'm like funny as hell you know they're like I wouldn't at

[00:31:39] Mack: The time I wouldn't humble myself enough to say it so I think it's the same for women where you like maybe I have the man's mindset like you grew up with sisters I grew up with all men right hi maybe I grew up in that like don't let other people see your insecurities or your whatever but like a lot of females now I feel like don't want others to see their insecurities until recently I

[00:31:59] Jacob: Suppose recently I suppose yeah I feel

[00:32:02] Mack: Yeah growing up like we're like you were just saying if I didn't know something or I would be embarrassed almost I did oh I'm supposed to know this or something about Africa yeah like I don't want to ask questions or like okay I need to go home and not really Mmediately now I'm like I'm human I'm not gonna know I'm not gonna know like everything that all my friends know so I feel I'm more comfortable now to be like hey like what is that yeah like I'm more Comfortable with being embarrassing well speaking of your whole life from Mackenzie we didn't want to loop back around of that bridge story I did okay let's get there it is okay wait this was an actual injury like this was the things I do I do see that this an actual injury it's silly I just want to

[00:33:01] Jacob: Say like as I'm making fun of it

[00:33:04] Mack: Please also know that I care about you Be here when I tell like the injury Aspect of it's like the surgery and stuff it's even hard to believe like me sing and like this **** doesn't happen to people and then I'm like nope of course they happen to me like okay so Where do I start okay so it was a summer day two people who don't have bridges to jump up and the wind was okay no it was the summer before my senior year and we weren't drinking like I know it's hard to believe the way we were also very well I made this is horrible to say it was like a background though like what is it about our town in our area like there this is very common yeah this cherry on The side well I feel like our hometown was literally just going down each sentence well okay yes background our hometown doesn't have a lot of

[00:34:19] Jacob: Activities to do when you're younger I

[00:34:22] Mack: Feel weren't drinking them or drinking No so one of the things we would do is jump off this bridge and it was pretty normal I feel like in the summers absolutely I feel like you heard story oh yeah we went to Kalama River we jumped off the bridge maybe that was just my friend all right it's interesting to think like if there's people from Florida they probably what the **** are you talking about like we live we joke with cliffsides we jump off of like all these things into these really cool rivers and lake areas yeah like when I was hanging out with this awful human he said we did gainers off the off the tool like bridge and I

[00:35:02] Jacob: Follow you sorry

[00:35:05] Mack: Like I remember saying I'm thinking like

[00:35:08] Jacob: Oh that's normal yeah I know not one part of my brain was like yeah it was totally we yeah we'd have a group texting okay let's meet up here I mean go swimming yeah that summer I was at the group of 10 people and we

[00:35:25] Mack: Were up the river more and we were cliff jumping and I jumped off the cliffs everything was fine and so then we go down the river and we stopped at the bridge and everyone's jumping off of it and I remember I wasn't gonna do it this is where peer pressure comes in I would never do it now if I didn't want to but I felt absolutely oh yeah that was in high school you know everyone else was doing it that sounds so stupid saying it no it's real though for that time yeah when I was that young everyone's like just do it Mack and I was really hesitant at first and then everyone kept jumping off of it multiple times and in my head I'm like well no one's I'm just being a baby like no one is getting hurt and so yeah I did it and it's 70 feet I believe the bridge it's really tall and I jumped off and I was in a pencil dive because everyone's making sure that your feet are crossed so I was like okay and then I jumped off and I remember the fall being so long that you have time to like think out thought processes like that's how long it is so

[00:36:37] Mack: I remember falling and I was like damn I'm like when am I gonna hit like you have time to think about it and when I'm gonna feel when I hit the

[00:36:44] Jacob: Water my body had curled up into a

[00:36:47] Mack: Cannonball in my ass yeah I hit the

[00:37:14] Jacob: Water and I instantly knew something was wrong before I even came up and so I like reach the surface and I couldn't swim and so like I was in pain like don't laugh now I was in shock I was in

[00:37:28] Mack: A lot of pain I knew something was wrong and Stephen Minke was there and I was kind of yelling like help like I need someone to swim me to shore and I remember I think goes him he jumped off when he jumped off he was fine he swam to me and I remember we had to climb up this hillside and I'm just like I was like something's wrong like I need to go home now and my

[00:37:53] Jacob: Ass was bleeding and god this is embarrassing okay so then I went home and called the doctor and they said this

[00:38:03] Mack: Is completely normal you just tore your rectum and the other they said it was common not normal what was your like what at this point I think I was in

[00:38:15] Jacob: Shock like I just remember hurting I was

[00:38:18] Mack: Hurt and I didn't really quite know what was going on and then I remember thinking I remember telling my dad and he did not feel sorry for me cuz he was

[00:38:27] Jacob: Like if you're **** friends jump off

[00:38:29] Mack: A bridge would you it is like he's like it's a sing Mackenzie and you're he's

[00:38:35] Jacob: Like you're that dumbass so I'm liking

[00:38:38] Mack: All this pain and my dad is just like you're so **** stupid and I was like well now I look back I'm like well yeah he had a point as a parent though you've got to think what is happening what have I done he's like what even hanging out with your friends and you guys just all decided to jump off bridges like as a parent yeah they're probably like well anyway so I didn't have surgery then but

[00:39:02] Jacob: Years later when I was living in

[00:39:04] Mack: Bellingham my tailbone just turned black and blue like all the way up my spine and I was having a hard time sleeping on

[00:39:13] Jacob: My back and like right where like my

[00:39:16] Mack: Butt crack starts I mean it started hurting so bad so I went into the hospital I went to the hospital and they did an ultrasound on my ass

[00:39:28] Jacob: You know an ultrasound of all things and

[00:39:31] Mack: Up my spine and of course they don't know the bridge story and they came in they're like you have had trauma severe

[00:39:38] Jacob: Trauma to your tailbone is there can you name a time like what happened you like yeah they said that it was complete like to this day my tailbone so cracked like it never broke it's still fractured and they're like what could have done like Nate what could have done this and I was like tell us and so I told I told them and they kind of laughed but they also on the ultrasound found assists had built up inside of me and it was from the water in the river that shot at me into my body it stayed in my system and

[00:40:16] Mack: All the bacteria and the river created assists and so I had to have surgery on that and get it taken out I kind of

[00:40:23] Jacob: Remember that part that's so wild and yeah and it was years later which was the weird thing like it - it was like over the years like yeah all that bacteria had stayed it was just so gross had stayed in my body and built that but

[00:40:35] Mack: I mean it's funny to laugh about now but why not if it was traumatic but when I came back to school I was really pissed off because it was my senior year it's how everyone's gonna remember you and I was like okay I was like okay like only a couple people know like it's fine as I remember you know how you used to have to before school started you'd have to come in and sign up for classes no ok

[00:41:00] Jacob: Well at Kelso before I would have to

[00:41:03] Mack: Like go in the week before school or something oh you neat with your advice you have they're like yeah you got your schedule before school even started well I went in there and there are a couple guys in there and they just started laughing right when I walked in and I was like they're not laughing at me whatever and then they're like hey Mac like we heard about your ass in the bridge and I just remember I was like oh my god like school hasn't even started yet and when I came back my senior year that's how everyone knew me and everyone wrote to me in my yearbook and like called me Mac torn and said oh that's we're back torn and they were like Oh miss your ruptured butthole and it was just all yeah it was all about the bridge and I was so embarrassed but as the years have gone by it's funny because people bring it up and I laugh about it's just like dumb **** you did it's like that story it's like if someone told me I be like yeah right that didn't happen like that's dumb that would happen to some of them and it's like nope me like if it was if

[00:42:02] Mack: It was another party body like if you broke your arm they wouldn't beg how you broke your arm like just because you're but we think it's like as high schoolers

[00:42:10] Jacob: We think like with us make whatever okay but like how old are we no we're still laughing yeah I like saw someone last year from high school and I think they were like wait you're that girl you're that girl that tore ass and I'm like cool later years later it's still there

[00:42:30] Mack: There's other things about me social media at that point oh you should be thankful that there was a very mild social media then that was probably was it was Facebook even yeah it had just started cuz right only graduated towards the end people were getting Facebook and I got one right when you graduate yeah but yet MySpace we did but I don't feel like I used my face as much I used it more when I was like a freshman and a sophomore in June and then like I had it kind of like how I have a Facebook now but I don't really use it's the same it was like the same and then Facebook came along literally like right when we were graduating and yeah I felt I honestly my senior year I feel like I didn't use myspace so much yeah maybe yeah I was

[00:43:16] Jacob: Still laying on train tracks with my

[00:43:19] Mack: Half black half red hair upward camera with eyeliner I use that I tried to I had tried to find him a while back go I tried to like search my old myspace profile I think I had cool pictures you did no you were cool like I wanted to be your friend like I just I loved you own like me and Gunnar and like Taylor and stuff we would go out into the woods we'd go out to the train tracks would go like find a ban and bill when we were like 16 15 taking pictures yeah like weed I remember I bought this you know what maybe gunner and I split it he wore one glove and I want the other girl is skeleton glove and like you take the photo of like your hand reading kind of see like the glove in the photo this is hilarious but like back then I feel like it was like we're still just like we're teenagers who just discovered the Internet like the internet was so cool and just anything you did and post on the internet was cool and just like cameras really to like think about like actual cameras not even your phone cam yeah like gray do

[00:44:24] Mack: You member the razor phone camera yes we were **** they were so they were really good yeah I feel like I took a lot more pictures with like a legitimate digital camera oh yeah those were I had the digital a red one yeah I didn't have any

[00:44:38] Jacob: Of those Britney Jennings did and she was like the queen of pictures yeah I don't see isn't that I don't know that's weird I was like good friends with Brit for a pretty long time and then like I didn't know I never knew you guys never knew anything about it because I was like anti a Kelso I was when she was Britney - and then you mentioned Taylor yeah the people though here yeah it's not weird for those of you don't know those are two people that passed away yep missing

[00:45:04] Mack: Piece just to them yes we all have

[00:45:08] Jacob: Drinks yeah listen untouched glass because you guys have chrome eyes stays on plastic or 3ds so it is Interesting to think of I love like explaining about and just like thinking about our town area because like yes we're a small town likes like Kelso Longview like cats rocks definitely a small town I'd say but like Kelso in Longview is like a like the mega part of a bunch of small towns like it's like when you go into town and you live the cows walk you go to Longview right yeah anything yeah like it like Longview Cal says kind of making town but like I talk about a lot like my like you know like kind of foolish lens on life in high school like I would affiliate the whole town of Castle Rock where I live now with hillbillies yeah like Old Country and it was just because the way that I saw the world was like rednecks beat me up and I know they live in Castle Rock so I like was afraid of it was like didn't like them and it's so weird how like our **** view of an entire place with the world or wherever could be and we're like this is true I viewed Kelso as you guys had a daycare in your school so you were all ****

[00:46:16] Jacob: Honestly like me now it's like hell yeah more power to those girls who made some pretty crappy decisions with those guys who made pretty crappy decisions and they had kids a little too early but like you're still going to school yeah me then was like wow you love flat nope yeah cuz my little virgin ass yeah it's definitely all about maturing oh my gosh our thought process is when we were in high school man I don't even want to

[00:46:40] Mack: Well I thought I was gonna be married and have kids and live in the town of cast rock at age 23 like I was like I'm gonna have kids and this is my perfect life and like I genuinely believed that because I didn't know anything else like I didn't know any 23 was my age - that's funny I was like when I'm 23 I'm gonna I'm gonna be married I'm gonna have my first kid because I don't want to be it like an older mom yeah I'm gonna be a young mom I'm like I'm like I was pretty

[00:47:11] J: Drunk in Arizona a lot yeah living in Arizona barely paying rent barely doing a whole lot of anything and I'm like yeah how could I have forced a child out and then raised it to not be like yeah a

[00:47:31] Mack: First glass of wine in a while well it's weird that what I was more concerned with was being an older mom like that when I was younger I was like I don't want to look old when I have kids like I want to go to like their graduation and look good that was my thought process playing a child into the world like how can I raise this kid nice hair

[00:47:51] Jacob: Nice meals think like that though in

[00:47:54] Mack: Weird ways you know we forget what's important sometimes I kind of want to do I don't want to get to there until I

[00:48:02] Jacob: Have this figured out yeah weird I think about it now and I think like even age 30 seems like I'm trying to have a kid

[00:48:11] Mack: In a couple years

[00:48:12] Jacob: Yeah I'm scared I don't know like it's a shame that I've been talking about it and it's like hit like we'll have conversations like she was just in here before this and she's like a **** kid

[00:48:25] Mack: Then like you know last week we're like daydreaming like trying to figure out where we want to be with it and the future is around that like it's so funny go to school all the time or like we can't have a third dog no we can't don't you have room for the dog no we don't have room for the dog we just got a king-size bed for the first time and we've been dating almost three years and we've had to hug the whole time and Grandma Thatcher's still I tell them they're still sleeping on the outsides of the bed like here's put your paw down

[00:49:13] Jacob: No we're thinking about getting a dog well we're still thinking about getting a dog it's definitely gonna happen I'm

[00:49:21] Mack: Very excited a goldendoodle I feel like I want to be in my head I'm gonna be the most like savage dog dude like I'm just like stroking my ego and it has even happened yet I'm just like gonna be the coolest dog you're like thinking about getting all the toys and taking him running all the time yeah and I feel like I'm in like train him and like learn like German commands so he's just like the smartest golden whoever - I don't know maybe I won't but sounds

[00:49:45] Jacob: Fun you have to teach him American

[00:49:48] Mack: Though oh my can english-american raffle

[00:50:00] Jacob: Is this how other like other people here

[00:50:03] Mack: Ask normally at your little you know like when you're having a function in the backyard someone will be like sit and your lay down and your dogs like I don't listen to that I listen up flats you know oh yeah oh that yeah only commands and I

[00:50:20] Jacob: Feel like dog names I want to strong-arm Shaylee with that really bad I just want to be the one who names a dog okay so do you have any names in mind up a huge list my boy or girl is very dependent

[00:50:33] Mack: Also so we're gonna go for boy yeah male dogs are just see I'm biased I just

[00:50:42] J: Feel like I had it what if you would if you accidentally call your girl dog good boy you know she didn't like what the **** goodness boy and they're like I'm a **** girl yeah I have a lot of names picked out I like I like weird names though like I don't like spot in my ex Duke like I don't know I just like typical dog names like ever like when I had a hedgehog the amount of people that like is his name Hedgehog there is air his name sonic I'm like well no me

[00:51:12] Jacob: That's pretty traditional I don't know

[00:51:15] Mack: What that's most like stuck-up thing to like even care about but I don't know I've been thinking about a lot of names too I just watched a movie and this dog's name was meatball and I really appreciate it because it was a big burner Brittney's Mountain dog it was just people like you at the park and if you yell that go party Mackenzie do you think you ever gonna have an animal I don't know it's my job well so one day in the far future when I get married um if he's home enough then yes I would like a dog I won't want a cat and I wouldn't want more than one dog like if I'm gonna have a pet I feel like I'd have one um just a bit of advice though two dogs play with each other come on just one that's more aggressive than the other one does exactly he does yeah more aggressive about attention to you yeah so it's just I'm gone a lot with my job so I feel like another person would definitely have to be there yeah help take care but

[00:52:19] Mack: You do like dogs I do like dogs you could just get one now and have Gabby and Danielle take care how would they work night shift - so they're not there half the time well they should take it they should take a little time off work could do puppy daycare - like I know a lot of people who have pretty it like long days and they take their dogs to puppy daycare it's expensive it's a that sounds like money it is I'm like baby

[00:52:43] Jacob: Are you gonna be home who's gonna let them out there's a there's a puppy daycare it's like a I think they're an exit up but grandis who is the Great Dane dog next door here he goes like a couple times a week on to this like short bus that they painted like with dogs and stuff comes and picks him up and they literally pick up dogs like school bus stop and take him to like daycare for the day and then they drop them off later and it dude it's like the most delightful thing to see pull up next door the cool you get a cup of

[00:53:13] Mack: Coffee and wait by the window his name is Granderson he's just like this big giant Great Dane of course you need like anything he does is cute of course but yeah crying time for the mobile bar

[00:53:32] Jacob: After it's going for it years ago wow that is just like the bit most beautiful picture that I just you just painting me thank you imagine if you're in traffic and that pulls up next to you turn my car off good I would not be okay to drive what is it about dogs but well where did I kind of wanted that'd be cool thing to learn like the origin of dogs and cats like when do we start and why did we start like it wasn't just like was it like there was some Wolf's that were like more chill and we're like does that want to like do you want it and then you're like asking your friends do you have a feeling inside of you that we should put our hand on that you know like the merchants and a dog would be like usually they're afraid of like Wolf's and **** but I really know how it happened did we like breed a bunch of like new breeds of dogs cuz they look way different I have no idea I always imagined that like it was like a slow evolution I'm just like you know how you can be in the same

[00:54:41] Jacob: Space as somebody and you're like you're chill we don't have to talk I like you

[00:54:46] J: From over there or like we've agreed to disagree or agree to just share the space without like any speaking that's how I feel like you are with a dog and then if I'm slowly evolved to like they

[00:54:56] Jacob: Just take over your whole **** space

[00:54:59] J: Feel like you know whatever kind of evolution you believe in it started with like they were kind of the like how

[00:55:07] Jacob: Animals in the traditional ecosystem decide if they're either enemies or they're okay with living in the same you know in the savanna is a good example there's a lot of animals who live together fine and then there's you know these **** lions come in whatever like I imagine that's how dogs and humans and cats and humans kind of just evolved as like we're chill if you just

[00:55:30] Mack: Like let us like ourselves here on this place for some reason past I feel like cats don't belong in that I feel like I could see that for dogs but cats I just like that they're up to something like they're like still trying to trick us I was gonna ask you I was like what do you

[00:55:43] Jacob: Think it is like everyone loves dogs and then there's like there's a percentage that love cats I'm not necessary that people really love cats yeah mysteries though I feel like dogs are favored more and it's cuz you think

[00:55:56] Mack: That cats all right creepy or they're up to something I think dogs are more submissive and so I think that's why we as humans are like right yeah you're

[00:56:06] Jacob: Right cuz I know when I come home I get this weird little pride of like my dog is chewed on something he shouldn't and he's hiding in the corner and I don't eat my dog but like he knows he did wrong and he knows I'm in charge yeah who knows when I walk in the door he's it and I get that little like aha you know you know what you do it like you come in if your cats **** up your house and you're like the cats just like you just looking at character in tomorrow like yeah no I'll take a **** on your carpet okay he's like I'm **** as I'm looking now in the I don't like not every cat is like that no but I feel like more often you get a lot of that is the cat like the cat I don't know world you have to just be okay with like never knowing or never like they don't you can't be like hey come here spot let's go potty the cats like don't do it okay I like doing that yeah they just don't listen as well I think I like I like personally the submissiveness without I mean that's you know what for

[00:57:08] Jacob: Me to say they're just now nobody's really probably - though that's probably a lot of us yeah why we like animals well I think I don't even know why but I like dogs butters I just like even like

[00:57:19] Mack: In personable I think too than cats

[00:57:23] Jacob: Are very like standoffish and even if they're a lovey cat they still are like I'll have my space for 14 hours and I'll touch you for 30 minutes dogs are like can I be here all the time I just thought because we just got a new dog out my dad so when you're saying that I was like thinking that in my head like picturing our new dog yeah did you do you have animals growing up like dogs and cats going out yeah so the reason I'm not like super attached to animals why wasn't a lot of my friends and family would make jokes and say like you hate animals they'd always make fun of me but it was because my parents got divorced when I was two and I felt like it was a competition between my mom and dad so when I got a dog on one side the other parent was like oh no I'm gonna get her a dog too so I got two dogs but they both died and yeah at my mom's old were you when they did I was pretty young I don't remember I was like one

[00:58:23] Jacob: Was an elementary one was in middle school it was tragic I'm sure yeah because I grew really close to them and then my neighbor actually shot my dog at

[00:58:32] Mack: My mom's side because my dog Riley loved

[00:58:35] Jacob: Porcupines I don't **** know why but oh is like if it saw it was hunt for a porcupine and attack it and then I come back to the house with quills all the time well it chased a porcupine in my neighbor's yard and my neighbor shot it and drop the dog okay yeah he was just an **** and so Reilly was still alive but it hit like a main artery and he wasn't gonna survive so he had to basically just put him down but yeah so growing up after my dog died

[00:59:06] Mack: I just decided not to get attached to

[00:59:08] Jacob: Animals cuz I think growing it just was traumatic for me growing up I was so sad I was at a young age I feel like I would handle it better now but I was like nope I don't want to be around like I would pet him but I just wouldn't get very close with any animals we even got we got more dogs and stuff I just kind of kept my distance because growing up I was like well they're gonna die at some point so I don't want to get crazy we learned that from like such young age but like oh this is what happens yeah because I totally invested myself in

[00:59:39] Mack: Those animals and then so I was like nope I'm not gonna get close and so it was like a joke in my family like Mac hates animals like don't come in here like it would say that way I'm like I don't hate animals and they're like you're just not a very affection I'm like because I don't want to get close I know they're gonna die and so now I feel like I'm more attached like we just got a new puppy and I've been over there and all my time is just we fell asleep on the couch last night together it was like Raptor on my leg yeah it was so cute so now I'm getting like more attached but it's been years since I've been this way so yeah I honestly don't think that I loved dogs as much until I became friends of

[01:00:22] Jacob: Shaylee really yeah like I definitely loved I've always loved dogs we've always had a dog but we've had outdoor dogs so I've never had the same relationship and then I met Schiele and she was just like loved dogs and then I slowly like and then I got an indoor dog and I had my own dog and it was like life-changing so yeah dude it's actually

[01:00:45] Mack: Crazy i recently so this was just probably a month ago actually it was with Shane and I were talking to my mom and I asked my mom it was a real memory because I thought it was a had like a traumatic memory about dogs and I thought that it wasn't real but I confirmed it with my mom and I when I was younger if like when my dad was doing drugs I was messing with we had a pit bull dog a pit bull puppy I was messing with him when he was sleeping and he like woke up because I'm a kid messing with him when he's asleep and he bit me any I guess it drew blood around my eye like it didn't know my actual eyeball but just like the skin around and yeah and so he bit me and obviously I'm sure I was crying like I was younger in my dad like on drugs he like react and he grabbed the dog and took him the woods and shot him like like and so and it was crazy like talking about this with my mom because I realized like Oh like I like put my own

[01:01:37] Mack: Fault in that because as a kid through that lens I'm like I got it killed yeah I just yeah and it's crazy like stuff like that you know in a it's like I just emphasized what you were saying cuz like we hold on to these things like we put like almost like I don't want to do that I'm not gonna bring that love to him because I don't want it to be destroyed it's a weird thing yeah

[01:01:57] J: Dude it's crazy but I think that like I love dogs now and I have like progressively more and more the longer everyday Shailene are together you know like Julie is a dog lover and now like I

[01:02:09] Jacob: Feel like and then we had Bentley here we had Megan's dog here for quite a while and like I love that dog so much like I feel like it's a whole that I

[01:02:18] J: Didn't realize I had but it's definitely been filled in for sure yeah but it was like it was interesting to like hear that story of moms like yeah that happened it's so weird how we like how we both like held on to stories like that right and yeah and I because I

[01:02:35] Mack: Would never try not to pet dog you know it wasn't an intentional thing I was just like nope in my own space and finally I came to the conclusion I'm like you were like that's why I like I don't want to get close that's consciously like yeah why do I do this

[01:02:48] Jacob: Every time I've done this so many times

[01:02:52] Mack: Where I say unconsciously a lot of you can kind of apply it like awake conscious is a consciously consciousness all of that it's like such a broad used word yeah like it's I read this book I think it's conscious or consciousness can't even remember now by Annika but it's like Anna Faris yeah Annika

[01:03:15] Jacob: Harris so I was like I probably just wanted to tell you guys that I read that book is it a good read books I don't read them but from Qasr try I read them

[01:03:34] Mack: Books I read them books do you read do you read so much yeah what's a recent book that you read um actually I have two books that are in my like oh I've been reading Harry Potter's though I decided to reread Harry Potter not read them oh you did no I did yeah actually I stopped reading I think the fifth book maybe and then I never actually read the other ones so I'm starting from the beginning I love here I will watch those movies on repeat I have a good problem we don't own those anymore but like I know what they are like exactly I know number four is my absolute favorite absolute favorite I think that was like my favorite book scene I don't know cuz I don't remember the books as well cuz I read them I was always a like in first grade I was reading like a fourth grade level I always loved to read and so I've always read above but I used to read format a are points I never read for pleasure because I was faster as me to take the test to excel at school but I never read as like a pleasure thing so now I do it in like recreation but I

[01:04:39] J: Have two books that my girlfriend's mine Arizona friends they all like pass around books and so we've I guess we all do oh no worries yeah it's awesome it was like it can be like really girly books or like there's a book called educated by I think it's Tara west over I think that's her name I'm like picturing that I've heard that

[01:04:59] Mack: Thought books so good yeah I haven't read it yet but I have like I've heard my little arsenal of books to read you know what it's about enough to like describe I don't really I know it I think it's about like her like growing up I'm pretty sure it's just kind of like a memoir it's about I don't know exactly what's about that everyone says it's about her overcoming a lot of stuff like she was in a really bad place and then gets to this really amazing place and the journey that she talks about is just really good but I personally haven't read it either but a lot of my friends have read it and then I was in a bookstore in the airport just kind of browsing around and this guy came up to this random guy was like read this book and that's what the book that was sitting there you're like and I was like

[01:05:38] Mack: Okay I'm gonna read it he's like no seriously it'll change your life so dude I always loved following ID like I always I always say those like intuitive moments like okay I have to **** read it yeah I don't know who that guy is but yeah why would you tell me to read that book he's a shaman

[01:05:56] Jacob: Honestly you meet some coolest people in

[01:05:59] Mack: The airport and some not cool people

[01:06:01] Jacob: Yeah we're there periodically enough to meet cool people and she's like I meet all of them no there are a lot of great people through the job and then just people on the plane some people are really nice and you'll strike up a conversation there's a lot of yeah like I said not the best on the plane as well but no I feel like I've had really good experiences like as much as I despise a

[01:06:28] Mack: Layover I've had so many of them that I've gotten you know like I've been able to like go sit at the bar and talk to somebody that I'm like I would never have been like hey wanna chat yeah you know like get me on my plane get me home but I feel like I've been put in positions where I've had to like just hang out and chat and not like deal with it at the time I'm like damn I'll just deal with talking to this guy but like now I look back and I'm like oh that was pretty cool conversation like yeah I've had stuff like that to where I'm in the airport it's I was at a bar usually and most sometimes a bookstore I guess but I'll be sitting there and you meet especially New York when I'd be there you just meet every like people just came over from Europe and they're everywhere or they're flying to New York to go overseas you meet all types of people so I've had some really good conversations at the bar do you remember anything in particular like I met this fantastic guy or anything like that was not that

[01:07:21] Jacob: No I'd have a magical moment no actually

[01:07:25] Mack: Jacob and Dimitri had just passed away and I was having a really hard time dealing with it and so of course I was at a bar in the airport but I was drinking a beer and I was sitting there and there's a couple next to me and they're from Ireland and they just started talking to me and they expressed me that they had just came there for a funeral and they were having the hardest time dealing with this death and they had no idea like what I was going through they just they opened up way before I did and I remember sitting there and we had this really good conversation and just about healing and things like that and it was a older couple they were probably in their 60s but it was just a great conversation and it was that reminder like I'm not the only one going through this yeah like at a time like that you're so consumed in your head and you're so depressed and you don't know how to find a way out and talking that I felt not that they were sent to me about I feel like that was supposed to happen because it was just one of those moments where we talked for

[01:08:24] Mack: Like an hour and it just made me feel better you've been talking about it because I probably would have sat there and just been like another one and not like you know just drowning my feelings but yeah it was just a conversation about healing and things like that and so that is the one of the big moments that sticks out meeting so awesome yeah and I've always remember that was serving what was that like where you talked you like found people that you were just like wow I'm so cool they got to be my customers today like I'm so glad I got to chat with them and got to know this about them like it depends on the flight so if it's an hour flight and you have like 200 people to serve I'm usually not talkative I'm kind of I just asked all three people like hey what do you want you know and give them snacks but if it's a longer flight and someone's striking up a conversation with me I feel it's hard the boundaries are hard because on the plane some people don't want to be talked to you know some

[01:09:16] Mack: People are in their seat it's kind of hard to learn that because if you try to talk to someone they're like I just want my drink put their headphones back in and they don't even take it yeah I don't talk to me and then some people I'm like hey do you want anything and they won't take their headphones out they look at me and they're they just shake their head and like they won't acknowledge like they'll just keep watching my movie so it's hard to find that boundary of like hey should I strike up a conversation because there's been times I'm like oh hi I think I've tried to say something and it just goes nowhere like they're just like I'm watching like James Bond like leave me alone

[01:09:49] Jacob: Yeah watch Daniel Craig anyway but no I've had a lot of great conversations with people on the plane and also going back to like people being sad there's been people that are just bawling in their seat and I'm like hey what's wrong whether it's I'm scared of flying or there's a lot of feeling like people travel to go to funerals I've dealt lets out a lot yeah and just like trying to help someone during that time like some people want to be left alone but some people start to open up about it right away and so even the littlest gesture like do you want to drink like drink on me like what do you want and I'll grab them something and they're like thank you so much so just navigating that there's not a lot I can offer on the plane but usually honestly even some of its just the contact of another human someone who like looks you in the eye in character you know you really don't know

[01:10:47] Jacob: What people are going through and I try to keep that like as annoying as people can be believe me like when someone's being rude to me of course your initial thing is like I'm annoyed like why are they being rude but then I have to think maybe this person's like scared to death of flying granted they shouldn't be being rude over it but still you know there's different reaction though that don't realize they're doing yeah that I try to just consider like maybe they're going through something I used to take everything so personally when I first started yeah like I would do it you being in New York especially people just look you up and down they say rude comments and I took everything to heart but over the last four years I'm like I can't take it personally like I didn't do anything to them that's just them having a bad day so I kind of just yeah I kinda just brush it off now but I'm rubber you're glue everything you say bounces off me and sticks back to you

[01:11:43] Mack: Don't edit that out halfway through I was like am I remembering this if I **** this up have you had anything pop up for you like what like you've worked with the public in tons of different ways like anything pop up for you where you like we're just a little more human to someone in it like opened up or they were like a little more human to you and so you talked about like deep feelings with a stranger it's kind of connected with them anything like that I mean I can talk to literally anyone I have a I have

[01:12:22] Jacob: A like almost obnoxious knack to just talk and say me that's true I know that you I think that you are you're good at seeing people's needs and like meeting them where they're at like you're good conversationalist with yeah being able

[01:12:37] Mack: To relate to many different types of people so they feel more open with you if that's what I see yeah I just I know myself and I know I talk a lot but I think for me it works I think it's a super high like not a lot of people can do that so you're right it is something that was like it doesn't come natural to everyone Tyler for example is a great example of someone who cannot talk to everyone or me even he has struggles to talk to me I definitely

[01:13:03] Jacob: Feel like as of lately um where I work is to a very like it's a

[01:13:10] Mack: Fine line it's in its UPS for anyone who doesn't know that and I'm a manager so I am not a union member and if you've ever worked in a union or against in Union because that's essentially how UPS is set up I don't think it's intentional I think it's essentially was supposed to like be a cohesive little unit but it is really challenging to work with someone and say to them I am instructing you to

[01:13:37] Jacob: Do this it sounds absurd and so superior and so just like you both know it's just farce weird thing I can't do it and I actually like this is something I've had a struggle with cuz I'm the friend leader if I'm gonna be your supervisor or your manager I'm gonna do it on the same level as you yes I can do your job but I'll also help you do your job and I'll you know like yeah I don't know so I've had a root that's been it really actually been a challenge for me but I found myself being able to like lately in the last just couple of years maybe three to four years I should say um reflect and like understand that this drunk person at the bar or this ****

[01:14:19] Mack: Driver he had a really bad day the

[01:14:21] Jacob: Person who loaded his truck sucked at it so there was his whole day was just kind of backward and off and his routine was messed up and so he probably is coming in here and he's pissed that at 7:30 at night and I'm telling him he has to go help somebody else you know like you just worked at ten and a half 11 hour day and I'm also telling you like you're at the bottom of the food chain buddy so you got to go work another two hours and then you got to come back tomorrow in twelve hours and do it again it's hard it is hard and to be so I've been able to just be your friend and say like hey can you please just do this for me and tomorrow I'll get you don't need me and so I think I've learned it I think through the years I've learned like I wouldn't want to do that but I also know that I would go above and beyond for someone who I trusted or respected or vice versa so if I know that my supervisor is gonna she is gonna follow through tomorrow and like I'm gonna work an eight-hour day instead of a 14-hour day or she is gonna

[01:15:17] Jacob: Like let me event and be drunk and be obnoxious and then tomorrow when I come in I'm gonna apologize and she's gonna be like no big deal you know like I think I have learned to be a little more human in the aspect of like give and take yeah it's hard to be in a manager position like that especially like having to manage people you become friends with yeah like sorry like I'm your boss like you have to do this but I love you know what I mean yeah it is hard it is hard to you know even like um substituting has been kind of a challenge for him because I go in with this like I have to be an authority figure because that's how the school structure is designed but then I also I'm like these kids are like dying of

[01:15:57] Mack: Insecurity you know and I'm like I don't want like these girls will talk to me and they're they'll be so **** to me in the middle of class because they don't want to be embarrassed because they were they were trying to be funny or they were trying to be cute or whatever and I'm like don't do that and then I go back to it and I'm like at the end of class like I well little JIT like I think you were in that group chat and I like legitimately was just flat-out apologize to the students for you know like I'm sorry that this is how your class went but this is how I felt blah you know and like even that is hard as

[01:16:29] Jacob: Someone who is 10 20 years older than some of these kids right it's just being vulnerable and just saying like hey I know that you had a hard day but like I had our day 2 and we're on like an even playing field now dude I think a lot of a lot of where that comes like where you

[01:16:46] Mack: Get success with that it's like kind of snapping people out of it like without like being rude and without like trying to attack exactly like whatever they just said because a lot of times whatever the crap is they're like yelling at you were saying to you it's like not really what's going on they're just they're having a bad day or they're bummed about something at home or whatever they're just kind of like using this situation as defense against whatever they can do but I think that like having the ability to kind of like

[01:17:10] Jacob: Not call them out but kind of like be like hey you know take a look at what

[01:17:16] Mack: You're doing right now yeah you don't want to be doing that like I had a I had my buddy who's a paraeducator Eric he was over here yesterday the day before and he was talking about isn't he no or

[01:17:27] Jacob: Anything so long a school district okay yeah but uh but he forget exactly what

[01:17:35] Mack: He says but he works with like some younger kids and sometimes he'll be able to kind of pull them to the side or kind of like look down them I came in you want to be doing that do you yeah like or you know it's some sort of like something he says to them like one little sentence that kind of reminds them you know and with kids of course it's easier but sometimes with adults I feel like we need in this is a perfect example but just freshman mind last night when I was DJing I had this woman who she was just drinking having a good night you know but she was like when she'd come to request a song she'd get like aggressive if I didn't tell her exactly what she wanted to get request no but I actually like I was I don't know I just felt super calm and she was having a good time she didn't mean harm she was too drunk by the end and I was playing literally the last of two songs two more songs and she was coming up to

[01:18:24] Jacob: Basically just drunk staring at me she could think of a song name and yell that like she was like she didn't know what song request she was just doing the song request thing yeah like waiting for a song to pop up and uh telling you know

[01:18:37] Mack: Whatever and then she just like started like Escalade inch like yeah you're not playing my request and like all these things are starting to get mean and then my buddy Kelly is also a DJ was up there and she's like started like trying to like be mean to him finger in his face like it just like escalated into this thing and I just like stopped her and I was like listen seems like you're just

[01:18:56] Jacob: Having a problem with being told no

[01:18:58] Mack: Right now yeah and that's a very like strange thing to say it's like a grown person yeah but when someone's drunk and you don't want I'm not like trying to usher over security to get her like kicked out that's not but she what she wasn't leaving it was like how to deal so I was like listen you're just having a problem being told no I promise you it's nothing against you it's not personal I'm just not going to play your song that's that we're done we're done with that and then what happened like what meats saying you're having a problem being told no kind of like pulled out of it because her next thing she'd like waited a few like 10 seconds and started talking to me about she's like what my son plays music he likes music she switched to this thing yeah like so you know she's just drunk

[01:19:43] Mack: But essentially she like me saying that like I wasn't being rude I was like listen I'm sorry like I can't like you're having a problem being told no Stern with that but I was like your songs not being played that's that it's done yeah I like making her realize that she's arguing against like thin air there I don't know I just kind of pulled it out of it and then she started being like a regular human again she's like I have a son and he likes music and there's music in front of me you know

[01:20:04] Jacob: Yeah so that's a drunk person example but I feel like with young kids with adults like sometimes they just need to beg hey man you're you know I've been there too I get upset too like you're just frustrated like I'm so sorry it's been a long day like if I can help you out tomorrow like you said like I got you tomorrow like but just be

[01:20:22] J: Aware of it like if like you can pull people out of it like a lot of times just like hey it's okay that you're feeling what you're feeling like just be aware of it yeah here's when I'm at work I can't react the way I want to which is a good thing because if I could say what I wanted to say on the plane it would not be good so serving teaches you that huh working customer service makes you like yes yeah bite your

[01:20:47] Jacob: Tongue it's crazy how intense I'm able to say things like imagine if you said that to a person you're so I know yeah I think it probably right email about me if I said that but there's a lot of times I've gotten yelled at how I know it's not me it's just you made me check my bag and they start screaming at me or there's no overhead bin space like what do you want me to do it like it's not my fault you know playing the Pro Pack one thing yeah I got it I got screamed at because someone didn't get the seat that they wanted and I just looked at him I'm like you booked your ticket like did I booked your ticket right like it's and then they're kind of like well and I'm like yeah so this isn't my problem that you're not in not see like I have no control over the seating like this is something that you could have picked like you could have picked the seat you wanted but you didn't and so they kind of just like you kind of check them like that but I can't I can't say a lot no I think that's great right there because

[01:21:49] J: People think they can say whatever they want and sometimes like hey like I understand that you're mad but you're being rude to me and I'm a human remember yeah like that's enough to like remind reminding people like oh I also

[01:22:01] Jacob: Make mistakes in any subtlety is enough

[01:22:06] Mack: I think for most people some people are just gonna be like oh now you're mocking me now you're condescending now you know whatever but like I think you can work your way out of it in a nice enough way saying like oh my gosh I'm so sorry like I did not mean to make that mistake as soon as you use the word mistake I'm sorry I made a mistake or like I'm sorry I'm human you know like without being condescending because that sounds like dickish but you can talk mostly

[01:22:29] Jacob: Everybody out of their like anger I know if someone were to say like I'm sorry I'm human you know I would be like oh my god I'm so sorry I'm even mad you know like even totally take me out of that headspace someone called me a **** you were like oh yeah I went excuse me and he goes I'm so sorry was over a seat though I'm like why you gotta call me a **** well we're a **** airplane seat it's just **** like that I'm like are you kidding me you gotta bring the thing we talked about the podcast like you're about to be in a chair in a metal thing in the sky sit down yes I mean I know it's my profession in technology you tell everyone this it's so great so

[01:23:12] Mack: Crazy but sometimes I'm in the air

[01:23:18] Jacob: This might make me sound stupid but I'm

[01:23:21] Mack: Like how are there thousands of pounds of cargo all these people all the fuel and we're able to fly in the sky like I'm just thinking about like how are we flying like I know how but so I'm like how is this it's such a weird College the videos that show the thing underneath the wings like how the air goes underneath it but you're like okay that makes sense but you're like still doesn't **** make sense when you actually think about it's insane and I'm use actually crazy yes I think about that all the time people like well you're a flight attendant and I might I don't care like it's still weird that we're able to just be 35,000 feet up with all these pant like so much weight on the plane and we're just like floating in the sky and it's crazy but yeah but we would talked about another podcast people will be like oh the Wi-Fi hasn't worked in five minutes and I just I'm looking at them like you're sitting in the sky like you're

[01:24:16] Jacob: Not even supposed to have Wi-Fi yes you're not even supposed to have half the **** we have on the plane yeah and accommodated to an insane

[01:24:25] Mack: Insane extent for people to just have

[01:24:28] Jacob: Comfort right what's our like cap here like at what point are we gonna be like I had to move my left pinky that get my drink yeah no people are like that sometimes in first class oh you didn't set that right in front of me yeah like on wall-e where they're just like never seen that movie I've never seen that movie either title two plans we gotta watch it Wally it's a great really good I've never seen up either and I haven't either what we've got it or something

[01:25:01] Mack: That really is crazy

[01:25:02] Jacob: Yes I've never fully watched The Lion

[01:25:06] Mack: King you didn't like so you didn't see the ending what did you do that kid I watched Jurassic Park on repo yeah but

[01:25:15] Jacob: I've never seen I've never sat down last year it was it was playing on the plane like the animated version not the new one I was like hey I'm finally gonna watch it and I fell asleep I've never seen anybody missed the bump though I feel like it's like it's not like it's like a crazy and throwing movie as we

[01:25:31] Mack: Have so many crazy baller-ass movies it's just I think the timing wise like dude's know why it was like the first color movie I think you know I don't know that I've ever watched like a lot of the like ya princess movies all the way through I think that it was around at the time like cuz I didn't grow up I think that I had like seen a couple of them but I didn't really grow up watching a ton of Disney movies either yeah but my interest in them now is like I've seen Lion King now but mate Rossum announced because they like compared a lot of it to like philosophy and stuff so when I was little if I like something I stuck to it and I never tried a lot of other things so if I watch like I watched Fern Gully and did you ever see that yeah I was obsessed with it I would watch it and then I'd rewind it and watch it again and so I felt like the couple movies that I watch like my parents like why don't you just put this and I was like no that's not like but I do that still

[01:26:27] Jacob: Like I used to watch The Notebook

[01:26:33] Mack: **** depressing in college and I just can't picture you liking it that much you ask any of my butt like ask Liz she poor girl she's live with me but I would come home from LCC and I would have like three hours between like practice in school and I would lay down and I would watch the notebook and then I would wake up and go to practice but like my friend Meghan would come over and she like will tag me and things like oh the notebook is here and I'm like oh my god Alice in Wonderland I did that to like the Johnny Depp version of Alice in Wonderland I watched I still probably if I had a DVD player I would watch it on repeat wait so I want to go back to the note why do you like it like what were you

[01:27:15] Jacob: Searching the notebook is a great movie

[01:27:19] J: But to watch it every day like what were you searching for was a just watching their love story I'm a hopeless romantic and at the time I was in a relationship with douchebag yes in a relationship

[01:27:30] Jacob: Yeah so I was watching for the I do this with all of those movies like even now like Thailand I was relationship is great but like romance and like that

[01:27:40] J: That like drawn out that is my like

[01:27:44] Jacob: Creative side is very like emotional and

[01:27:47] J: Deep and romantic and just like full of

[01:27:50] Jacob: Feelings and I watch things like that

[01:27:53] J: Because that's a way to get that out

[01:27:54] Jacob: Okay but like in my real life if Tyler were to come home and like write me love letters and do this I would be like I would feel uncomfortable if it was actually happening to me in my life like that's why Thailand I work so well because he doesn't do this like cheesy corny **** like he's like hey babe I bought my own protein bars this week and I'm like thank god you're not gonna eat mine that's romantic but I just turned me but like if you were to like I don't

[01:28:24] Mack: Know I just think I don't actually like the whole concept of it I like the idea and the background and the depth and severity of they like I don't actually I don't think I actually am a hopeless romantic I don't really want you to light candles cuz I'm like those look I like those ones and I don't want you to light them unless I'm ready to you know I'm like I don't really want a bath cuz it's gonna get cold in five minutes like I'll make my own bath okay I don't know I'm just like I think conceptually I like it but like realistically I don't okay that makes like a nice little fantasy to live there yeah yes that's my fantasy yeah cuz I was like are you watching this cuz you want to cry like why you watching everything it's the depth and the emotion and like that cuz there is a lot of an emotion and yeah I think that whole movie can be solved by just a little more communication right but it's also you know if she would have

[01:29:17] Mack: Broken up with her husband first so do you this is this was an interesting conversation with me my mom and Jay Lee the other day when watching a movie like I realized that like people with different like thought processes in ways of seeing the world actually like see movies completely different of course but like so as I'm watching a movie I'm every character in the movie like I'm projecting myself into like so when they're crying about their whatever like I'm thinking of some sort of similar yeah it's a similar motion that I can get to there and like matching it like so like when I cry during an emotional movie it's because I'm like riding the wave of this actors

[01:29:55] J: Right so like I'm like putting myself into the movie like I was talking with Shaylee and she was I was telling her that and she was like yeah I just like watch the movie she like seiza objectively informed yeah like it like in **** but she cries nonetheless like she'll you know she's emotionally she's invested as well but she doesn't actually watch movies in the same way that I do she cries from the story you cry as the human or as the character yeah like I cry from like an understanding like I do whatever I can to throw myself into the understanding of every single character in that movie like that's what I'm doing and watching me but it's what do you do what about you Mac do you Canada it depends on the movie I feel like some

[01:30:33] Jacob: Movie Jurassic Park like Jurassic Park

[01:30:40] J: [Laughter] movies like Jurassic Park I just love this I don't put myself in the characters like the storyline fascinates me just like the whole DNA aspect of it and just like the bet not even like the t-rex II okay I'm getting carried away but anyway I just watch drastic but

[01:31:00] Jacob: Certain emotional movies I don't put

[01:31:02] J: Myself in every character I would say but it does go through my mind like this

[01:31:08] Jacob: This way that this character's feeling right now I've gone through that and I can like relate it to times in my life like when it's like this hopeless romantic like not good scene or whatever and someone's sad it's like oh I like I know how that characters felt like I've been there and so that makes me emotional but sometimes it's a storyline to like I know it's fake and I'm like I want them to work so and it's like max they're not together every hallmark movie I watch them in a mic they're gonna fall in love and it's like the same six people downtown yeah I

[01:31:44] J: Was like did Mac I know that you've liked One Tree Hill The OC like I was thinking about it so like there is one character we always like did you do OC and One Tree Hill no I did One Tree Hill was my **** man there's like one character that you saw The OC for example Ryan who's like the like poor kid trying to fit in with a rich kid sort of thing like I remember he's so

[01:32:08] Mack: Mean like I was like I was like just understood everything he was going through like you like think you're living this little secret life through him you know yeah it's like I totally get you yeah I felt like I would I wasn't like Marissa but I was in a way just the way

[01:32:26] Jacob: She I don't know I wasn't exactly like her like her character but I could tell like how she hid things and tried to deal with things like she'd act out in certain ways cuz she was feeling all these emotions but she couldn't get him out just punch the mic sorry but she couldn't get him out and so she would drink or she'd do different things and it's like I've definitely coped with things the wrong way and so I get where she was coming from I her character is very dramatic but then I could see behind that like she's gone going through all this **** at home and with her past relationship so she's just trying to cope and she's acting out in these ways so what we are what character you on One Tree Hill I don't know right skills think of all the characters now I know what about you Jessica what's here on One Tree Hill how

[01:33:20] J: Long has it been since you watched it a long time since I moved back to Arizona that's what Brandon Cruz like it when Brandon Lacey started dating Brandon met me and like I was just stoned on the

[01:33:33] Jacob: Couch watching One Tree Hill they would go through a stage meets me and I'm like

[01:33:41] J: Potatoes on the couch I'm in like six hours later him and Lacey come still I didn't have a job when I first moved back like it was just like I'm going back to Arizona I have 600 dollars in my pocket like here I go and then I'm just like smoking all their weed and laying on their couch this is

[01:33:59] Jacob: Your friend you talked so good about like it took me a week and he's like does she do anything this cannot be one

[01:34:11] J: Of your best friends like I don't believe you're Lacey and you have this best friend hey sometimes you need that time to just sit on the couch and get

[01:34:19] Jacob: High represent you like you're who you are your whole life honestly that was a good like that was a good solid time for me because I don't take breaks yeah like I do take my take some naps and I do chill but like I'm always going and

[01:34:33] Mack: There's always **** going on my brain and like I'm always planning and going and prepping and making sure this is done in this is done in this done and that was a time where I was just like I'm gonna exist I'm gonna exist and I'm

[01:34:43] J: Gonna take a break and I'm gonna let myself just decide where I'm going I feel like you were pretty happy when you were when you were like going to Arizona my **** yeah oh and I kind of know exactly what's what I'm supposed to be doing but this feels right it was just fun like it was literally just pure like I didn't have to it like I was going to college but I didn't have to have a career at that point my best friends were my roommates and we didn't have to like make a bunch of friends we'd have to work that hard like it was just I mean we worked a lot like we all were servers so we all were working four and five days a week eight hours 10 hours 12 hours but it was just like fun it was just fun my life do you go ahead Mac no you go like so Shay then I notice

[01:35:28] Jacob: I guess not just servers but like just

[01:35:31] J: Thinking of like when we were young like

[01:35:34] Jacob: We were once like the 17 through you

[01:35:36] J: Know 22 year old or 16 through whatever like we were the ones working the customer service like we were behind me and Shay like we were selling people stuff with PacSun and clothing stores and you working in coffee shops and

[01:35:48] Jacob: Serving and because you were customer service yeah we were yeah for like 60 so

[01:35:57] Mack: Do you I don't know I always just try to like and I'm not saying like this is a hum percent or anything but I feel like I noticed less engagement from the person on the other side like so when we go to packs on like the person working I kind of feel like an old man like all these kids don't appreciate what the habits or something like they aren't engaged they don't like they're not like hey how are you like they'll say what they're told to say yeah I know but they

[01:36:22] Jacob: Don't like actually like really talk like a lot of times it'll be like they're texting behind the counter or whatever which is you know big deal but I don't know do you guys think I guess just compared to your time working serving have you noticed any change like you at a younger age versus kids now at

[01:36:39] Mack: That same age what difference is I think a lot like you're saying the texting and said there's a lot more social media now and so I feel a lot of relationships are

[01:36:49] Jacob: Over the phone like I do believe

[01:36:52] Mack: People obviously still talk in person and meet up in person but a lot of dating a lot of different things are behind the screen and people are attached to their phone so I feel that customer service not all of them but I do see the interactions in person are just going way down because everyone is so used to communicating over like with their phone now and back their skills yeah back then I feel what we had Facebook like all this stuff wasn't really it was up and coming but I'm thinking back to like my first job I didn't have an Instagram or anything like that I was way more personable at that time when I was 16 and stuff I think I had a myspace yeah that was it

[01:37:35] J: And then but of course like as I grew up and I was still serving when I had Instagram and things like that but definitely I think the more those more the social media world has grown I can notice people aren't talking as much face-to-face that's so interesting like

[01:37:54] Jacob: To think of like we're sharpening our skills in so many ways like there's so much good and so much knowledge through our phones and stuff but like they do you know it does take away another areas like we do lose people skills and people skills aren't just like so you can get a good job and you could do good at interviews like people skills make you feel when you're able to like have an open conversation you know with your shoulders back and actually like engaged within conversation with a stranger for example like that's a that makes you feel a certain way you know like when you're able to like be open and have even with somebody that you like one of your friends like you know if you're not able to have like the same friendship as you are through the phone in person it's different you like we literally feel different when we're engaging with people yeah in communication so I wonder if we're just like maybe losing a little bit of that like just as a byproduct of all the cool things that our phones are bringing us I definitely feel like I engage and have

[01:38:50] J: Always engaged with older people mmm like in college when we would go to away

[01:38:56] Jacob: Games like I have a pretty vivid memory we were like at like a buffet or something and I'm standing in line and

[01:39:02] J: My whole team is there's like 20 of us that are 19 18 and there's like like a older couple that's standing in front of us and they like turn around and make the conversation and I'm making

[01:39:16] Mack: The conversation and that everybody else behind me is just like avoidant and it to me I'm like oh that's normal because I am so used to talking to people that I'm like oh whatever but the net now I was like older and I reflect on it I know that I talked to a lot more a lot more older people will talk to me and have the conversations and I don't know if it's maybe I just give off a presence that or I have an open body language or something that says like I'm willing to speak to you but like if I go to the grocery store the old lady ahead of me is gonna make a joke about something I haven't and I'm like oh haha you know and I play into it but like same thing goes I see it with Tyler he gives off

[01:39:53] Jacob: This like don't talk to me I don't

[01:39:56] J: Really wanna have a conversation with you and I don't even know if it's just cuz he's like I took completely different personality or what but I know that when we go places that I think I just give off a like talk to me I'd love to have a conversation you know I like hi and sometimes I go and I'm like oh I don't talk to people but like I still get talked to you because I think a part of just my something in my body language says like I'll chat even if I don't want to I'm gonna chat and I think a lot of a lot of people now

[01:40:28] Mack: And a lot of kids especially like I go into places and I'm like I don't want to talk I'm not gonna even strike up a conversation or make a like funny joke or nothing because they're just doing their thing I think it's just I

[01:40:40] Jacob: Think it's body language yeah it's peculiar because I like when I was incredibly depressed I feel like I would like try to give off the vibe of like hopefully nobody talks to me hopefully nobody talks to me like you wear your hat a little bit lower you I mean when it comes out I'm huge on

[01:40:54] Mack: Like physiology and like having your shoulders back pushing your chest out for me like helps so much with like confidence and stuff I feel like for so long our just the we're like it's baggy closes I could and now we're just kind of be hunched over and like if I got a hood I'm up with that on to those sort of things but uh and like people do pick up on that you know like they don't and it's not like you're walking around like with it with a scythe and you're like you're like the dead floating group or anything but there is it's kind of interesting to point out you know there is like a vibe just by like your body language your posture like what you're looking around at of like I'll talk to you or I'll be nice to you or whatever and I think that it compounds I think that it adds up like my anxiety when I go into a

[01:41:40] Jacob: Store like instead of thinking constantly like hopefully nobody talks to me hopefully nobody talks to me and you're kind of thinking about yourself because you're anxious now it's like

[01:41:50] Mack: I'm just walking around the store doing my thing like I'm shopping you know just I'm not everybody else and I just know and I just trust that if someone does talk to me I don't have to have it planned yeah I can just talk to them and whatever I say is okay like I feel like I'm just using a grocery store I guess for that example but I don't know I think I'm just kind of curious like I just think I like to think about things in the long term like you know kids who are six years old and in there like

[01:42:20] Jacob: Gonna have the next 20 years of just technology and they're not really gonna be learning like these outward like human like you know if there's nobody in your life that you mimic that has that and you don't have like the ability or knowledge to like do it yourself then I don't know because you can make your depression worse and you can make you make yourself feel worse by punching over and not being open and all these

[01:42:44] Mack: Things I like learning from others my dad was always a chatty person like we would go places and he would talk to anyone and everyone and I think that's probably why by nature I feel that same

[01:42:55] Jacob: Which is super bizarre I don't know I don't know why I like mine it's a it's for me it that's a like male/female thing females tend to talk more but my dad has always such a Chatty Cathy like we go to the store and I'm like oh here's 14 people my dad knows what he's talking about on average when you're a little kid just looking up at your dad like what's he talking about he's I mean he's probably like reconnecting with like how you been you know he sees somebody from high school and he chats with autumn or he talks about like Oh work or you know I mean I don't know if he anything my dad is the goofiest guy

[01:43:27] Mack: So when I think maybe I've just seen that my like we'll walk out of the store and my dad will make it a point to go to that girl scout and buy those cookies because he wants to make sure that they're supported and you know and it's like it's things like that I have never recognized until now I'm an adult and I'm like oh like I Tyler this little girl said would you like to buy some Girl Scout cookies and he like avoided her and I was like no I was like you

[01:43:54] Jacob: Don't even say anything you said I smiled like that does it I granted is it huh I was like offended by his reaction like we're nice people like I think as I grew up on that like yeah it's probably being around your dad and him being that way that's how you grew up and you're you talk a lot not in a bad way but you know you notice you're like oh and I could I can joke and you're saying these things about your dad and it's probably you grew up that way and so I think life is all about human connection

[01:44:25] Mack: I mean honestly everyone wants that human connection but you're talking about like this generation of kids if they're just on their phone and they're not say their parents are at work and they're not having a lot of human interaction they're just gonna they're gonna have social skills they're not gonna know how to connect with people because everything's based off technology in the phone right well and their parents they go to the restaurant their parents give him the phone to keep him quiet you know out of their hair and so then they're just by nature like every time they go out to a restaurant that's what they want to do is be on their phone rather than have a conversation with the person next to them I think it's very common like I you see that in between people walking in the malls people walking in any anywhere you see so many people you see all these groups of friends going out and they're on their phone I mean weed I definitely am guilty of it I'm always on my phone but I'm also very aware of my connection to the people I'm with yeah so I can yeah I feel like both

[01:45:22] Mack: I feel like I used to I used to be on my phone so much more but it's because I was just like just super depressive and like I wanted to be like I was just self-conscious and like thinking like you just get caught in your own brain but now like when I'm like oh I'm on my phone or like I'll check something or like you know give yourself a few seconds on your phone and then now I have this thing where I notice I'm like oh yeah you're on your phone and you're actually at Applebee's with your friends remember you love your friends like yeah and in like just like that like quick little reminder nothing arguing in your head but all that just hit that lock button on the side of your phone and turn it face down and just look at one of your friends and say something you know I mean my god like it's seriously weird but like it helps like and none your friends are gonna think you're weird and just like I feel like it's a weird thing to point out but we almost have to this phone this thing is so great that we almost have to like

[01:46:13] Jacob: Oh yeah there's so much there's such thing as too much of a good thing like this is a good thing too I'm not gonna miss this thing that I'm reading on reddit or this like Instagram you can read it later yeah but like I'm going to like when life is over or in six years when I'm reminiscing about what school in my life this is gonna be one of those moments yeah and if you're not careful you're just like spending those moments on your phone you know so I don't know that's where I've changed I definitely I make it an effort and I and I you know even if I'm feel a little bit socially anxious socially anxious or I just smoked a big joint right before super nervous **** man it's okay to be high your friends don't care and then I'll put my phone down and I'll just talk to him about zombies or whatever you know it's like we've all been friends for so long like even outside of this room all of our friends know we're weird

[01:47:01] Mack: Everyone my first and yeah no it's just when I say **** they're like yeah that's just you well

[01:47:09] Jacob: Dude I mean none of us know what we're

[01:47:13] Mack: Gonna say like I don't know what to say my god I never do none of us like we're just talking like in and when you have friends around when you have people that just love you no matter what you know like that it's just like you have that trust here and I feel I got so many people have that but we forget about it sometimes and we get heads and we just want to be on her phone and safe you know I get on my phone it like at night when I want to Pinterest and I'm just kind of like trying to be mindless cuz I just want to like go out kind of how my day was and I do that as like a way to kind of like it's almost like a mindless thing for me so if I'm looking through Instagram it's likely because I'm just like looking to look I'm not really like come I've stopped after I did that like three months almost four month I think um I took like a I stopped comparing and

[01:48:01] Jacob: Now I'm just like enjoying like oh my friends are doing this but I'm also like my friends are doing this and I'm just kind of like using it as a means to

[01:48:11] Mack: Digress a little bit from my day we

[01:48:14] Jacob: Don't think you complicated yeah which for me is like that's initially what it should have been poor but I start I got too involved in it now I can look at it objectively yeah I appreciate that now cuz I didn't I didn't want to delete social media like a couple months ago I was like I don't really want to delete it I just want to like use it as my in the right way and now I'm using it as a like sleep mechanism that's not as reddit I used to read it before bed but I've read it for me is like yeah it can be like your internet sort of so it's like my interest so I have like a bunch of like audio stuff and there's funny stuff but I don't add in like I unfollowed on Instagram even like all like the like self-deprecating and like the gnarly ones and like the gross ones I just like I don't really want to like put those in my head but I see how so on

[01:49:12] Jacob: Read it I just like followed I just consume things that interest me and like things that I'm like if I float off dreaming about that ain't so bad you know but also not stuff that's too complicated cuz sometimes I'll be like **** thinking I need to like solve all life's riddles right before bed and I can't sleep I use Pinterest what'swhat's your Pinterest right now like if you go to your profile what's like yours so I have always just done the explore page so it's everything that's like relative to my clicks or my like my boards and my boards are very like me they're very like my home my relationship my friends this is what I would like I have like baking and gifts and just like stuff that I'm like ah this all interests me and it all is

[01:49:57] Mack: Something that pertains to my life so it

[01:49:59] Jacob: For me Pinterest is like my own that's very good that's very healthy yeah it is very healthy and it's like oh I have a cute closet on Pinterest but I'm also not like I have to have this piece

[01:50:09] Mack: Because I have it in my Pinterest because cuz Pinterest could get unhealthy I feel like in that way like oh I need that like all these things that you really need but well in also I think Pinterest I have a like aesthetically pleasing boards for me and I've done that as like an OCD thing but

[01:50:25] J: I also know that if I like a pin and I'm like BAM that's gonna look ugly I'll just put it in there anyways cuz I want to freaking know that like I want to know you use baking soda on such-and-such I want to know that so that later when I'm like how the hell do you get blood out of your carpet like I don't know you know okay to kill someone because Tyler's trying to be chip Gaines lately and he's just bleeding everywhere we have blood on the wall on the Pyrenees and a yes Tyler

[01:50:53] Mack: Today he was like trying to put something up and he's just bleeding I'm like honey here there's blood on me the other day to go he's like you want to take down a shed I'm like I would I want nothing more like I would love to just destroy a shed with you but I had to do something else but it's just exciting to just to go or closet wall and he was like honey come here you have something that you're like mad about really kick through this wall how'd it feel did you kick through it yeah but I got stuck so good yeah I was bleeding we had to go the hospital it wasn't as exciting for me because I don't get like excitement from like beating things up you know he was like loving it like our house he just has been like take that Dale take that down fix this like Tyler I've become like more in love with Tyler for who he has set all of a sudden because he just has become this like man I never knew I never knew this side of Tyler yeah until now it's really cool he's

[01:51:48] Mack: Like just seeing him evolve into like a it gives him more of like a dad aspect you know sometimes more sexy yeah you know like he just suddenly is like I can take a wall down like it's personal

[01:52:06] Jacob: Cheerleader he's probably just like mm-hmm take that wall do yeah anyway that's something okay before we started we wanted to talk about life changes and I feel like now it's the perfect time for you guys to talk about this let's

[01:52:23] Mack: Talk about it Mackenzie what her life changes I feel

[01:52:30] Jacob: Like I'm really evolving and growing as a person especially through this last year I feel like it started I went through something traumatic a couple years ago and I kind of lost myself for a while but through that I learned a lot and this past year I made a lot of mistakes 2019 I felt

[01:52:55] Mack: Like I coped with things wrong I would turn to not like I wanted to drink I wanted to be distracted so I felt like every week I was dealing with something and every weekend I was like okay I'm gonna go I'm gonna make plans with these friends and these friends but everyone knows most social things are drinking like not all of them but most the time lubricant you're like oh let's meet up at this bar let's go to dinner and have drinks or let's do this I feel I definitely did say at some point to Tyler like damn Mack T is partying like crazy right yeah last year I just I got over relationship the year before and I had built my life around this person and so I didn't never knew what it was like to be alone to be single and I think being single kind of scared me a little bit and like we talked about emotions before I want to face it like I just handled everything in the wrong way and I was

[01:53:47] Mack: Just yeah I didn't want to sit at home and face what was going on and learn more about myself I was like nope I need to be distracted you know I was just coping totally in the wrong way and I made a lot of mistakes and I

[01:54:00] Jacob: Remember I went back to school last October when I started going back to school I was drinking less and I was just more focused on my homework and stuff and I was like looking at this past year and I was like man I totally did everything wrong but I don't regret it because I learned so much through it

[01:54:19] Mack: But last October is really when I started taking a look at myself as a person and who I want to be I was like I don't want to be this person that just pushes my feelings away and I'm going through something and so I just need to stay distracted last year it was I was I needed to be

[01:54:36] Jacob: Alone last year really is what it came down to I really just needed to focus on me and I started doing that in October

[01:54:44] Mack: And I've become a lot happier of course I like still go out and drink sometimes but that was like my whole life was involving drinking and everything and I started writing more I started reading more books and like taking breaks off of social media and just doing things that made me happy and just really realizing my actions and what I was doing and things like even when I was drunk you know you say something when you're drunk anyway I was waking up I'm like that's not who I am like why would I even say that like I don't want to be that person

[01:55:16] J: Or getting caught up in gossip I was like this isn't the person that I want to be but when people around drinking and something gets brought up like everyone kind of like goes in on it and I was just like if I was a guy would I want to date this person that I've been acting like kind of like how were other people viewing me so I really took a step outside of myself and I feel like that was the best thing for me yes I regret things but also if I wouldn't have gone through things last year I would probably be that same person in a way and it's really given me a big wake-up call like so I've just been learning a lot this posture and I like where it's headed but it definitely takes like a lot of trial and error and a lot of different things like

[01:56:03] Jacob: That to become that person so it's so crazy like it's so profound to realize like oh like I have to go through these things or I wouldn't learn I wouldn't know what I know now yeah it's like all the strength I have is four things that I've done and things that have happened to me like it sucks but like a lot of times you gotta like once you can realize that you're through it you can realize like oh that was just a learning experience now I have tools in my tool belt to go forward in my life you know like yeah looking at last year I was like oh I regret this re-grant talking to this person er but then I might know because every mistake that I made has brought me to this point and I know I'm not gonna do it again this falling year I was like 2020 is my year but then like all this bad **** honestly are like hell yeah 2020 is here like which we do every year but like that even and it's I keep saying using this word today but aesthetically pleasing looking at 2020 yes you like my vision yeah it's just nice it just feels nice in it yeah okay what about you two

[01:57:07] Mack: Sharing those Mackenzie that's great

[01:57:08] Jacob: Okay let's hear from you yeah oh what's it ask me the question again changing changes how are you feeling about like life changes what kind of life changes are you making um so I mean lots of

[01:57:19] Mack: Changes I feel like on so many different like change levels I feel like I like change more every day I adapt into something new every day I'm just like leaning into leaning into my healing in

[01:57:31] Jacob: Every way like I've gone to the

[01:57:35] Mack: Counselor twice I was like I felt pretty good about it like I haven't made excuses to like stop myself from going I've been I know I feel like a lot of my changes are I'm in like the trusting my changes stage right now because I feel like I made like so many changes like two years ago when I just sort of like healing and doing better but now I'm just I'm trusting riding out those changes like I'm trusting that like I can I can build a bigger life than I thought I deserved before you know like I can I don't know I there's a lot of growth there's a lot of like just changes of being it being this age and just like kind of like

[01:58:24] Jacob: Stepping into my like gifts so to say for me honestly I huge thing for me is is spirituality like I couldn't change when it comes to changes like that's it's something that I like find myself reluctant about or I feel like I want like make fun of it a little bit but like truthfully it makes me feel fantastic I'm like learning about spirituality and what it means to me and like honestly like leaning into my connection with nature like that's a huge change like I really do feel

[01:58:52] Mack: Like when I go out in the woods and I like go for a run and I'm just surrounded by trees like I can't even explain it but I feel so much better and like a lot of the changes for that is me like admitting it out loud like I've always would enjoy it but like I always like would make fun of people or something like an you know like it feels like oh well that's not me that's not my identity and so I had to like negated or something so I guess leaning into my changes to accepting my changes and like allowing them to like carry me forward I

[01:59:20] Jacob: Suppose yeah I guess nothing

[01:59:24] Mack: Specifically I guess but I think nature so great it really is you know I just

[01:59:31] Jacob: Watched a Paul Stamets it's a fantastic

[01:59:35] Mack: Fungi he just released it's it's now out but Megan and I it like two weeks ago I went and saw it in Portland out a theatre and it's so good and it's just like about mushrooms and nature I don't want to go on about it but seriously anybody listening watch that fantastic fungi Jessica what a changes like I feel like we should probably tell and I should probably watch that he's all in oh my god

[01:59:54] Jacob: Yes coming again coming again love you

[02:00:04] Mack: Babe your you're hot you're hot Tyler I

[02:00:07] Jacob: Had any smart hi Tyler hmm well I think we like kind of touch base on a few of the things that like changes in my life like overall things

[02:00:24] Mack: Have been just shifting a little bit but I think my mindset has been changing a lot too like this is so silly but I did this yesterday and maybe it's the Co virus or maybe it's just me she has the virus I so because we're starting this

[02:00:41] Jacob: Business we like obviously have to

[02:00:44] Mack: Decide when your branding something in a business you have to say like I choose to have these core values that's a just that's like a very basic business mindset however at the end of the day like people want to know or like to be

[02:00:57] Jacob: Like business I guess maybe just this generic structured business we need to have these core values and like I have integrity and I say that and I say it with almost this like I'm doing an injustice to the word integrity because this whole time I thought I have integrity because I say I'm gonna do what I do sometimes I don't like my friends are like you coming over yeah for sure and then it gets to that day and I'm like little cancelling mmm because I know for my own well-being I need to cancel I need to take that break I need that moment but like I went to the bathroom yesterday and I was like being extra cautious with my paper towel

[02:01:32] J: So I never opened the door with a paper towel because I don't give a **** like I'm gonna have germs and that's just how it's gonna be and whatever and I've always been very like I don't care about germs but like I used that because I'm being extra cautious I use the paper

[02:01:46] Mack: Towel and then I like threw it the trash and it didn't make him in the trash and I walked out the door and like I literally door Dyneema shut and I like ran back into the door as it's closing on me and I was like damn it has some damn integrity like I had a self talk where I was like go pick that **** up off the floor cuz I know I get mad when I go to a restroom and there's paper towels all over the farm like well y'all are dicks and I think about it from like a woman's standpoint like women are pissed when their husband doesn't pick up their socks off the floor but they're gonna throw their trash on the floor and then I think like well I'm not having any integrity if I don't like walk back and do that so I would say like as of lately like very recently integrity has been huge on my mind it's just been something because I do feel like i tend to say like and i've done this to you a lot yeah I'm for sure down today

[02:02:30] Mack: This day and then the day gets here and I'm like not for it which I know you understand my like oh yeah sorry canceling cuz I just need a brain break or I need a mint you know I need I need an emotional something but I don't feel like everyone understands that and I hate when I say I'll do something and I don't do it and my friends Jessie and

[02:02:50] J: Lacey we were talking about like words that describe you know Lacey and I and they had said reliable and I like questioned it like to it like am i

[02:02:58] Jacob: Reliable yeah I literally was you guys think I'm reliable huh and like I know I'm reliable I know I am but I also know that I waver a lot of times where I'm not but when I say I will be at something and it is a for sure I'm gonna be there I will show up and I will be there 100% but I know there are times where I'm like yeah I'll come but I

[02:03:16] Mack: Don't actually mean it like I know I'm so questioning if I want to be there like so like what someone catches you off-guard they're like I'll be so caught up with the momentum of the exciting conversation I'm like bro I'm coming I'll say I bought a ticket already like sometimes you get excited in the moment there's that also I think it's important

[02:03:33] Jacob: Like you were saying for your self-care like if you really if you're in a state and you're like I don't need to be around people in it or I need to I haven't had a moment to myself and I'm not gonna be fully present in this moment I need some time to myself before I meet up with someone I think it's good to recognize that because you got to think about yourself sometimes you know I think that's the thing maybe I've always done probably and I just don't I'm just now reflecting on it enough to say like guys for a long time I've been the person who's like yeah I can for sure do that I would love to be there and I'm a yes person I always want to be there I always want to go do stuff like I absolutely want to be involved but I know that I give a lot of myself away mm-hmm a lot of the time and I know that there are times where I just need to I need to look and I say this like you guys probably think I'm joking but like I will I want to lay on my couch and

[02:04:24] Mack: Stare at the ceiling well and for me

[02:04:26] Jacob: That sounds right moment of just like

[02:04:31] Mack: Nothing and I want to have that because I'm constant like I was saying I'm constantly like you're there that you know I'm just being able to like let your mind unwind just taking some time to yourself it sometimes it feels great not to think about any just nothing like I don't solve anything right now yeah like don't even I just wanted to be in my room I want to either just stare at the ceiling or maybe I want to watch one tree hit like mindless drama I put on

[02:04:57] Jacob: Parks and Rec for the millionth time right watch it you know but I don't like you just kind of like huh everyone friends used to be on TV cuz me too I've been like really watching well the office I like fall asleep to it every night even though I've seen it a million times it's just that thing that's there and then I can just like unwind in my room turn off the other stuff and just feel comfortable yeah I like that

[02:05:19] Mack: Jessica I think just like it's funny

[02:05:22] Jacob: That you were like immediately hard of yourself like oh like I'm really you guys think I'm reliable because like reliable could mean something different you know in that context you're like oh I can't all the time they're like we do too like they probably haven't think about things were like no in these ways you're reliable yeah that's what they're thinking I have a like the first I don't know I feel like I was like more flaky at the beginning of the podcast like I feel like if the other

[02:05:47] Mack: Person wasn't like 100% like all in I'm that cool it's fine man no big deal like don't come but now I have like something I feel like I'm building a little integrity there to like I'm trying to like if I schedule a podcast like I'm gonna make it happen yeah and for me sometimes making it happen in this like crazy world means that like I text them three days before and then I catch them the day before like hey he's still good for my like

[02:06:10] Jacob: Yeah I feel like I actually had a day where I drank the night before like I ended up having just a fun night like randomly like friends came over and then we met up with that we saw Jack dark and I came over to the top house and it was

[02:06:25] Mack: Just like it was just one of those nights for me yeah and you know like I really I don't have any work to do and we got drunk I had just the greatest time I felt **** terrible next morning woke up and I had a podcast at 11:00 and a the first initial thing I was like I should text him and see if I can get a couple hours later or you know whatever I can try like swindle my way out of it but right away I was like no man you drank you're gonna do that podcast hungover if that's what it is like and you're gonna show out like you're going to you made the right notes yeah you're going to or like if you are feeling too shitty like you're going to go outside and you're workout tell you Peter can get that out and feel better like that's my mindset now with that but it's cool like a

[02:07:03] J: It's like a passion though for you then yeah like assigning yourself to that but I don't know I feel like you're the same way like you're building this bartending business and it's like the same thing you're like who do I want to what side of me do I want to represent what like how do I want to hold myself accountable yeah and these ways you know and I feel like you kind of got to make your own rules and give them power you know I think that's pretty powerful Lucy Knight because we always hang out we always hang out we're like hey what are you doing today we don't work to for a cool let's hang out for three hours or whatever but we had we legitimately on Thursday we're like it is a business meeting we cannot cancel it we cannot change it we are having a bit because otherwise Lacey and I are just gonna chill and probably make lunch the funnest I'm like whatever we feel like doing like let's walk the dog but we had to like yeah we're doing this that's something really cool I think how about that so like

[02:07:58] J: Entrepreneurs or people who are like trying to do something passionate or something serious like making rules for your hangouts like because I feel like Brandon and I do it like we where we flirt with it we haven't successfully totally don't say yeah like well I mean

[02:08:11] Mack: We'll make beats and stuff we'll do like super fun stuff but like we have had times with brillig let's meet up and let's just get a video done today or let's just get a song or you know whatever it is I think more people should like go into their friend groups like if you have creator friend group so you have like entrepreneur friend groups or even just one homie like hey man I do want to hang out today but like let's just make sure we get this thing done but yeah more let's make sure we like just focus on this and if something fun comes up and of course like we make a man all of garden sounds good let's go to Olive Garden like of course it's gonna sound good **** all good I think I think it is cool to see you know as much as I try to kind of push like your friends or your counselors your friends your therapist your friends your family your friends are like you can talk to them about things you don't have to schedule this thing and be otherwise like if your passion is if you love your

[02:09:04] Jacob: Friends but your passion is like your business and they have another business that coincides you guys can work together like say hey man like we're gonna hang out a Wednesday but like but hangout let's do six **** hours

[02:09:14] Mack: Of business work yeah didn't hang yeah yes that's not always just like don't talk to me and I'm just going to write this like microsoft word document you know but well it's hard cuz being friends to you're like oh guess what happened yesterday are you like you know you get to form a discipline though it

[02:09:31] J: Is no way it was and it is something that like Lacey and I are very much like we are you just want to chill hey could

[02:09:39] Jacob: We wanted let's paint today let's go for a walk let's go for a hike let's go whatever and we have to be very but I also find that with even with Tyler like I have to say like babe we gotta like sit down and get serious about this because he's learning to code right now and like I want him to

[02:09:55] J: Succeed in that I want to hang out with him and like I just want to sit with him on the couch and watch some dumb movie and just be near his presence but I also Mike I should not talk honey you need to go do your thing like you need to go do your school and like we'll set will set time limits where he's like can't I have these two classes probably like another hour okay then in an hour like I'll try not to bother him you know like I'm like the dog where I like walk in the room like okay verify you know it's 4:13 okay but I think that like even with us we'll say like can we gotta get a podcast done today or we gotta like get this done today and it's I think it has to be like that with a lot of my friends because they are also creators like Brandon he knows when we all come over like he wants to chill for a minute but he'll like slowly just like sink away and

[02:10:45] Jacob: His into his office go get some stuff done and I'm like that's perfect I'm glad you feel comfortable doing that yeah because it is like you know I'm trying to be your friend but I'm also trying to run a business and have a passion and like yeah he's lonely like see ya so I think it's I think for our for our friends specifically because we're all just kind of like creating and growing and whatever even if we're not all entrepreneurs right we all have to take that time to like get our **** done and hang out because you can do it yeah he's got to have boundaries yeah you gotta have boundaries you know I like try to balance it like how it like we can we can do that thing we could play Super Smash Bros with like let's get done first yeah give yourself a little bit of cookies all the beers all the way up until then and then like when we're ready dude that's another thing like trying to be productive like there's so much like weed and alcohol in my world like it's just always I go to the Portland

[02:11:44] J: Studio and they'll like the engineers like that they'll be smoking all day and they're totally fine with doing it and they're like the people come in like rappers come in and they're smoking and they're more comfortable when there's a couple of drinks and they got a couple of friends it's so weird like it has still work though like it's fun like that whole situation could turn into just drinking and hanging it out yeah but you got to be like hey I'm in that vibe now let me pull myself out of that vibe to have a

[02:12:11] Jacob: Like a plan beforehand remember how you were I think we've talked about this like I have to set my art studio up before I can go paint if I think I'm gonna smoke or drink I have to have things like prepared for me to work or my brain my mindset has to be I'm doing

[02:12:31] J: This to assist me in my creativity or

[02:12:34] Mack: Assist me in my productivity like I've gotten that down pretty well down here I pretty much have it set up like to where it's ready to go like whatever like I can be intuitive and I can like oh I feel like doing that creative thing

[02:12:45] J: Right now I can do it but like you do got to prep like ahead of time like make sure it's all laid out I want to get better at like I want to get a bunch of like creators down here and much musicians and stuff and I want to be like the guy who's like it gets us

[02:13:00] Jacob: Working yeah we need like stations yeah yeah I mean I do I need that compartment like give me this workstation and you can be here in your little space and then like you can still chat with everyone but like hear me you can still

[02:13:14] J: Chat with I gotta make little cubby holes though I guess cut up your folders it's hard being it's hard I don't know creating something without somebody else's rules is difficult like you know in the being a creator you don't you don't go and say be here Monday at 8 a. m. unless you say be here at Monday 8 a. m. like you don't get this particular thing done until you say it you know you got to like create your own and I think learning that power like it's great for entrepreneur but it's good for everybody like it's great for like it's like a powerful skill that I slowly feel I guess it's another change is like sharpening yeah getting there yeah that is a big change actually yeah telling yourself you have to do it yeah like me well don't work yeah oh boy so change is **** fantastic change is great I feel like allowing yourself room for change and allowing other people to change and allowing I think like just

[02:14:21] Mack: Really letting yourself see yourself as like you know like with this podcast for example I'm like if there's any time where I think I'm sounding cool and I'm changed like all these things but like in 3 years I might listen to this exact same wording like I was an idiot I changed a lot yeah this is impermanence man that's what this is all about life is always changing and I think if you just kind of like point your sails that you know you know growth just like believing in yourself you know as corny as it sounds but like just knowing like I'm doing this thing right now and I'm going towards improvement though so even if it's not working out for me I know that it's going to I've been listening to the EM Rachel Hollis podcast so good is it the D whatever yes

[02:15:07] Jacob: The rise podcast yeah

[02:15:09] Mack: It's so good she's so just I'm like amped every time I listen to it but she said something that was pretty profound for me that was like her one of her podcasts I think the name was like you're not prepared for who you're gonna be in two years and she like sat on the

[02:15:24] Jacob: Stage with like her CFO her husband cuz her and her husband are like the CEOs of the company her like creative her social media like all these all these like bosses essentially in her company and she basically said like every person on this stage is not prepared for what they're who they're gonna be in two years or what they're gonna need to know or their skills but we're like constantly learning and every time we make a mistake we learn from it and it was like that was a good feeling like something to hear because I'm always thinking like man I really wish I knew this like the Excel thing I wish I knew more about Excel okay well in a month I could know the hell of a lot more about Excel if I just put my mind to it and I know that's part of what I need to learn you know I know that was a profound little like dude I mean that's everything instead of saying like I don't know this it's literally all you have to do is say like I have the capability of knowing that

[02:16:15] Mack: Yes and then when you just like believe that and you just put in the work you'll be surprised but oh yeah if I like you know I don't think you ever get two points I feel like we learn a lot of excels like we learn a lot of those things without us realizing like what lecture I don't know this but we don't really stop to be like that's how we are dude like you just have to like think I don't know how to do that but I can bet I can do it or yeah I don't know how to how to handle that thing that's coming up but like I trust that when that time comes I'm gonna be prepared I'm gonna know or and if I'm not I'm not gonna die yeah I'm gonna figure that out too well Crona no I think with me I've just been every day I want to grow

[02:17:03] Mack: Like that's been my mindset has just been I don't want to take steps back like whatever I do even if it's making a mistake okay I'm growing from that like I'm not gonna go backwards and I think that's a way to like just look at life right now it's just wanting to be a better person than I was the day before I do just think about that like in five years if you do that every day you know like it's inevitable that you're gonna be like oh I'm in more advanced than I was five years ago yeah like it's what you're making the choice yeah you just got to make that choice that's like I'm going to I'm gonna I'm gonna lean towards growth a growth mindset that's what I'm gonna do it's all about how we handle situation it's literally us like we make our decisions yes things happen to us but it's how we handle it and grow from it like you can choose like last year I

[02:17:53] Jacob: Could choose to drink every weekend and

[02:17:55] Mack: I'm going nowhere or this year I'm like wow I'm realizing so much about myself because I'm sober when you were doing all that like you were making a lot of memories with a lot of people yeah it was sometimes like you're like I just drank a lot but like I have a lot of memories with a lot of people and like I grew a lot of friendships through that and then I also had to be sober and then realize are these my friends or these my party friends yeah my pants up and I have to pee a couple more minutes no it was a super fun year like I said I don't regret anything I do have a lot of great memories but yeah like looking at myself

[02:18:41] Jacob: Like I should have been being okay with

[02:18:44] Mack: Being single and being alone and instead I was like I need to be around people I can't be my by myself and I'm that says you should have been though who is it the tells you should have been cuz you have like you like I noticed you saying like I made the wrong choices but like who decides that those are the wrong choices or were they just things that you did and in the moment that was the best you knew what to do with what you the knowledge you had yeah and then you realized cuz you learn and you decided to grow yeah I feel like when it

[02:19:21] Jacob: Comes to you know not every situation is the same when it comes to like vices I feel like I just like I'm so sympathetic I word but I just like I

[02:19:32] Mack: Get it like sometimes we're just going through some **** like sometimes you're just I'm in that stage of them just smoking a lot of **** weed right now where I'm you know I'm drinking more than I want to right now I think I'm kind of dealing with some **** like I feel like even those sentences like those things like nobody's around you is like okay like I understand that cuz I get the same things you know said we see everybody is a call yeah you're an addict or you have this thing or like oh you're drinking a lot or all these things but it's **** we all have that man like it's like the homeless guys like you know a lot of times maybe they have like their shoot needles into their arms and their vices a lot worse than ours yeah do we all just humans have the capability of not only being like addicted to things but of using like a way of living as you know avoidance but also enjoying life because it's not like we're like I'm trying to make myself miserable like you're enjoying your life yeah I definitely have fun yeah about the

[02:20:25] Mack: Value of like the glass tabletop outside there was like a little bit of green algae on the sides and it's a glass table we've all been on a deck having those late-night conversations drunk with friends before at a glass table like that's valuable yeah those conversations built your relationship right those times that we've had a lot of drunk conversation

[02:20:46] Jacob: It's fine dude everybody it's

[02:20:49] Mack: Not it's okay just know that like it when you want to like if it's something that you want to step into or you want to be a growth mindset person yeah the cool part is like all of us who have like party together are also growing together yes you know so like there is I mean there are obviously a few who have like kind of straight off or there they started having kids long before we did so we're not sure about that type of but we're still like there

[02:21:15] Jacob: There's still a pretty big group of us mm-hmm and I feel like a lot of my friends are in the same mindset as I am or the same realm like I think I'm in my time of life where like y'all are in the same I don't feel like I'm like my friend I can't like coach my friends and be like oh my god you guys I learned this cool thing today like it's too much for somebody to grasp the friends that I can't say that to I'm not even friends with anymore I don't talk to you yeah you know I got to feel like anytime I can be like Jake guess what happened today this cool thing happened matter guess what you know like I know

[02:21:51] Jacob: Absolutely I love getting texts like that yeah what do you know somebody's gonna be supportive like in this genuine like they're like dude like if you told me like guess what happened today and it's something that just happened with you has nothing to do with my life like it would generally bring me joy to our life over here you're like hey this good thing happened to me and I love you guys my friends so like of course I'm gonna be feeling good for you yeah right yeah it's cool to have that I think we get used to a lot of like you know not just

[02:22:20] Mack: Like mean or like self-deprecating but like a lot of like dude you're not super encouraging to me are you or you know or just like making fun of people or like friendships that don't really like fill you with much yeah it's encouragement I had yesterday or two days ago I walked out of the house and I'm just like a reminder of like my family of like the being made fun of thing like I had someone I haven't seen him in years he's like a cousin's friend or maybe like one of my distant cousins picking up my mom's car essentially I walked out the house and I was wearing like a brimmed hat and he just goes what

[02:22:54] Jacob: The **** and like those sort of things it was just this quick like example of like oh yeah that's like why I don't choose to even surround myself with these sort of people yeah you know the fact that it's like family is relevant like I'm not just super close to my family so that's an easy avoidance for me yeah but it's things like that a reminder like I wasn't upset it was more just like oh you know like I don't hang out people like I haven't heard anybody insult me like that for a while I had to explain my outfit to everyone I'm hanging out with every day for a while oh yeah like I'm just being myself and my friends except me you know like normally I walk if I walk out and it was five of my friends standing out there they'd be like oh like they would

[02:23:35] Mack: Probably talk to me and not notice my outfit because that's just I'm just wearing it's a **** piece of clothing on me whatever yeah or they would compliment me if they really did like it or whatever and I think that outside of like physical appearance stuff I think when we say things like when we are when we're dreamers out loud or when we're like I'm talking about real things we have people who aren't supportive sometimes you know I think just being being encouraging to your friends it's good and choosing friends that are encouraging to you yeah I've definitely the past couple years had to choose do I want to really continue like I really was putting effort yeah like before I didn't really think about it and then when you go through traumatic stuff or like you're trying to focus on yourself and it's not just a party front you know what I mean you're like oh I really want this person in my life like they bring benefits to my life they bring joy they're positive I've really had to decide on certain friends throughout the past years like they're not nice

[02:24:32] Mack: Something like this I could say a lot of mean things I'm just gonna say they're not nice or you know so I think I have a lot of friends who were just service trends you know who I'm like I value you as a person but I don't think we have a lot in common anymore or I don't think that we have a lot to talk about or whatever and like I still hold you to the highest with the utmost respect like I just don't we don't see the same or have the same lifestyle or understand the same things yeah and like I still respect you as a person and I would love to like sure I'll grab coffee with you and I don't mind but like I'm not going to go out of my way to put forth effort to keeping this relationship going if

[02:25:10] Jacob: It's not gonna benefit not like in a

[02:25:13] Mack: Selfish way but like I need my lifestyle and my the people in my life to be supportive and strong and equal I need someone to level up yeah my friends to level up to where I'm at yeah you can literally say I don't make it I don't I don't hang out with people who make fun of me yeah or I don't hang out with people who are encouraging yeah you can say that you can pick your friends it is straining when you're hanging out with someone and you're trying to have this vibe and be positive and talk about important things or just having like real deep conversations if I'm sitting

[02:25:44] Jacob: There someone and they don't want a

[02:25:47] J: Hat like talk about something it's all superficial like they don't want to talk about real stuff I'm like well this is Who I am like I want to talk about good let's dive in deep like I want to know who you are I don't genuinely care about like your life but they're like nope like I don't know it just depends and I guess some people are closed off but if it's a continuous things like over the years and you can't get to know who your friends are and they don't want to share and they're negative around you it's kind of like okay same thing like oh we're still friends but I kind of just like need people in my life thought that's a that's self-love right there honestly just you know it's they are who they are and you can't control that's yeah like it's you don't hate their guts and hope they die yeah it's just like I'm choosing to follow like

[02:26:30] Jacob: What's true to me is to surround myself with people who influence me and unfortunately like you don't seem to be doing that you know and I think that's okay yeah that's looking out for yourself I think it's hard for people some people to hear but I also think it's so important for people to hear and the other thing is like I know that like I've seen the ugliest and the worst of my friends and you know their reciprocal like I have also shown them the ugliest and the worst of me and they're still here and there are friends who like when they see the uglier parts you can feel them slack

[02:27:04] Mack: Off right and you know they might have friends who they are willing to show their ugliest to but it's not me or you know I think everyone probably has that but I definitely feel myself being more like drawn to spending time with people who I feel like I can go wake up and roll out of bed and look like **** and feel like **** and talk weird and say dumb things and they're just like we're still friends yeah you

[02:27:29] Jacob: Know like I support you're cool right like you're your brimmed hat you know like I probably be like hey what about it also though that guy would have

[02:27:38] Mack: Said something like whoa not a fan of your hat you know like I don't love that or something along the lines that personally brought it to him and his decision on it versus you wearing it like he instead of him saying what that

[02:27:53] Jacob: Back we could have been like hey nice hat bro not a huge fan but like you seem like to like you like it then you'd be like foot and move on like yellow yeah what he really meant was that hat is not something that I would wear right that's what he meant to say but instead he said what the **** and it's just so like what but it was funny because I used to like how something like that would get me self-conscious about like fact it is this attitude like I don't want to deal with that or I'd be like I don't want to deal with thinking everyone is in their mind or to their significant they're saying what the **** and when I go to Walmart or whatever it is yeah but it's my stomach growled so you guys just okay

[02:28:37] Mack: Hey let's end it out anyway because I want to grab another beer and we'll get some food so Mackenzie and Jessica I

[02:28:42] Jacob: Appreciate you both thanks for coming over and talking about whatever we can do it fairly often yeah we'll get uh we'll get it poppin with us again - yeah exciting yeah I plant this thing's gonna keep going for a while so give the message give the listeners a message love yourself love yourself don't drink and drive

[02:29:07] Mack: Actually use hand sanitizer oh yeah

[02:29:11] Jacob: Don't spread corona yeah that's a message talk to yourself wash your hands love yourself and use hand sanitizer and white give you our teas and what but in sod I know the toilet paper yeah like we need some two day upstairs can I steal a

[02:29:26] Mack: Roll I'm getting this bidet go it's funny cuz its way cleaner than toilet paper like we just dry wipe our butt

[02:29:36] Jacob: Okay that's good imagine if you had poop on your hands and you just wipe it off with a dry you be like that's good let's go room a day like we're so gross what the **** is going on anyway use a bidet wash your hands love yourself see you later Junkyard lovers hi bye