Episode 043 with Joseph Crumb - Redefining your life and - wait why are you taking me seriously?

[00:00:09] Joseph: So I don't do a formal intro I just say

[00:00:13] Jacob: Hey man how are you guys something

[00:00:16] Joseph: Really fast before I start how does my moustache look It's pretty good it's solid really it's like you're not trying like it's just a natural I'm trying really hard but it looks like you're not trying that's probably actually not good oh okay cuz I want it no I can't grow a moustache I can't grow a good facial hair I just wanted to make sure that it debuted well because I haven't really had shown my moustache to that many people well now we can see I guess I did a mustache for a while and it was like I was genuinely trying I was like I was like I wonder like I don't know what's it like I've always had a beard a facial hair like consistent whatever and I was like shaved the **** rest of it in my girlfriend not a fan not if like it's like she wouldn't take anything I was saying seriously dude girls not like mustaches no mine I like mustaches no well don't worry cuz Mine is very juvenile looking I say

[00:01:06] Joseph: Mustache I will promise I say mustache but what I really mean is just I look like I'm 15 again basically it looks good man thank you ain't so bad at all here so six feet cheers from across the table you got oh if you need another proof yeah but you out there I did thank you my love what a

[00:01:26] Jacob: Sweetie see you see that the patriarchy already taken over I feel so bad now I should have gotten up you got in the beer people I'm gonna be canceled for

[00:01:36] Joseph: This cancel culture oh all right so my god give them some **** to cancel um Joe

[00:01:44] Jacob: I've had comments on this whole cancel

[00:01:47] Joseph: Culture thing it's really funny to me I am crazy it's **** ridiculous I just found out that renowned mustache enthusiast Adolf

[00:01:55] Jacob: Hitler was a Nazi and childhood

[00:01:58] Joseph: Shattered canceled that's basically what

[00:02:02] Jacob: It is though is people going back and you're going back into something where we already all know about this his fan base is cool with it just whoever we're cancelling here and we've all decided we're cool about it you're not even his demographic how exactly are you gonna cancel him I'm offended for those people yeah like you were never gonna go to his show you were never gonna buy his CD or his comedy special you were like keep doing what you were doing and continue to not support that person but I don't really understand the whole and it's usually something for like um like satire parody they're trying to cancel that Joji kid you know him yeah the truck canceled never about that because the filthy Frank thing they're the young kids are just now finding out that he is that filthy Frank character and I guess he probably said a lot of um like he had a lot of Japanese characters Yee is Japanese so I don't know where we are on like can we make fun of ourselves at this point I feel like I'm still allowed to make Hispanic jokes and Middle Eastern jokes I don't do it if it's out of taste but you can't go back six years

[00:03:10] Joseph: In someone's YouTube Twitter history and

[00:03:13] Jacob: It's completely parody when it's satire

[00:03:17] Joseph: Clearly and you're gonna try to get mad about it now it's weird okay so I mentioned this so think about Kevin Hart for example like what happened to him like they told the joke they pulled a joke that was just **** hilarious like nobody really thought much about it like what was it like he was saying he's gonna throw it all house at his kid or I don't know if it was hilarious but as a comedian it was a joke it was a joke and you have to respect that like you have to let someone attempt to make a joke it's not someone saying this is my belief this is my opinion and he said if my son tried to play with dolls I will beat his I'll beat him with a dollhouse or it's something like that or if my son I believe he said if my son is it turns out to be Gayle Stabbin right but like

[00:03:58] Joseph: It was a bad joke but it was an attempt at a joke and you also have to understand this is before people knew what Twitter was what political correctness like what this was all gonna be we didn't know what we could joke about we didn't know who was gonna see this years later I don't think people really understood context back then like someone is reading this and they don't know you're joking I don't think people really even though you got that I don't think people really comprehend like that things changed to like that we like just as a **** species in a society we adopt and grow and we learn like that is kind of **** up to say yeah like so in comedians are the ones who are finding that edge it's their job it's a job to find the edge like we can't just **** pull up old **** people said and like you mean this now we have to be allowed to say

[00:04:44] Jacob: That right we because we are joking if we are not allowed to say things no one is I get it if you're gonna get mad at somebody because they release this long manifesto and they're just an actor and does it okay sure but if you don't let the people whose job it is to joke and not be taken seriously not be taken serious if you don't let them do that no one is safe literally that is the last bastion that's the last pillar of freedom of speech that we have is JK and if you take JK away what can you say there's

[00:05:17] Joseph: Literally nothing else you can do like yeah I don't think see I'm such an advocate of that too because I just I like the philosophy side of things

[00:05:25] Jacob: I love studying philosophy cuz I feel

[00:05:28] Joseph: Like it points out it's like the

[00:05:31] Jacob: Elaborated more overly serious for no reason version of comedians like it's like here's what's crazy that we do and why we do it and it almost like wakes people up to the reality of like oh yeah

[00:05:43] Joseph: I was taking nothing too seriously exactly but I think it's one of the most important things like the canceled culture the D platforming thing like when I started seeing it like if probably I was consuming massive amounts of Joe Rogan and having his same opinions but yeah I was like **** lactam

[00:05:58] Jacob: This is bad for society but really though it is like it can't happen and I think when it started happening you start actually like there was some people who took a **** like there's some people who took the hit you know but I think more comedians kind of started stepping up a little more like they started like breaking the wall more like I remember when Dave Chappelle I mean as more recent special was like you know what sucks y'all **** yes is like talking about the audience and my kid just started going off from that point yeah that's um that's a new thing I almost count that special as performance art and not even stand-up comedy because there's so much nuance in to even just down to the way he was dressed the way the things he chose to talk about I look at that as basically I'm going to get up here on this not to compare him to Christ but like I'm going to totally do it right now I'm gonna get up here on this comedy crucifix and I'm gonna say all the things Deshea I'm gonna say them and I'm gonna be wearing a janitor's outfit yeah and uh cancel me and it's not gonna work and

[00:06:57] Jacob: Now that leaves the lane up for people like me to wear like okay whoo I can breathe I can say this thing I'm just joking even though it's not fully like that yet but it's getting there but um I don't know I when you start to take like

[00:07:12] Joseph: What comedians Dave Chappelle especially

[00:07:17] Jacob: He is a barometer when we take something

[00:07:20] Joseph: We joke about it right you can take the power away from it and you can get people to look at it from a new perspective right you can get people to laugh at themselves but if everyone is afraid to make a joke everyone is can kind of continue to stay in the same patterns of thoughts mm-hmm because you can't ever look at yourself and go like you were saying oh ha that was silly why would I think that like nope we'll just keep saying things that we agree with like we were saying before we started recording I saw someone comment you don't need anyone around you who has a separate opinion from you that is the

[00:07:49] Joseph: Most aggressive yeah like that's **** and it's kind of that if you don't allow somebody to joke about something that you don't agree with you're just going to continue the history is going to repeat itself we're never gonna realize hypocrisy and things it's our job to point out hypocrisy as a comedian how can I ever point out how somebody's doing something stupid if I'm gonna get in trouble for it how are you guys gonna realize yeah I mean it's interesting to think cuz you know comedians you can think back just in my head I'm like okay jesters like that's what that's what they were before right like okay you but it seems like in movies and I don't know a ton about jesters at all so it could be pulling sentiment but movies it's like you say the funny things but there's always this like kind of little edge we're back in the day you can't like make fun of the Queen no like don't **** make fun of the Queen that's an interesting comparison to draw because if a gesture did something that a queen or a king didn't like it was off with your head yeah and that's how it's becoming now yeah in what an insane reality that we

[00:08:46] Jacob: Can't **** live in that are you out of your mind like that's crazy but so at the same time that these sort of things happening and like I said there's a lot of people who like you know the legends have kind of stepped into the light lately of sorts or are starting to or whatever may be missing it but at the same time there's also a new form of comedy social media there's an just comedians on social media there's like random **** who are just like hateful bastards and they make hilarious memes yeah like we have new forms of comedians now - there's an there's apps that are coming out that are creating new forms of comedy just from being born as an app like TikTok you know that was never a form of comedy before mime dancing in front of a and then fly away like I don't know you know no that's completely new so like every time an app comes out now we have a whole new realm of comedy that was born like a whole new genre of comedian that is live and I think like I was gonna say

[00:09:36] Joseph: Earlier in terms of the canceled culture and like um it seems to go on waves I do think it is unhealthy but I do think we need it the internet used to be

[00:09:45] Jacob: A really dark mene and it's still very dark and mean but it was not a friendly place for overweight people

[00:09:53] Joseph: LGBT people the internet in 2011 was

[00:09:56] Jacob: Bully central like you were going to get bullied into suicide in 2011 if you were gay overweight odd in any different way I've recently gone on a little bit of a YouTube rabbit hole during this quarantine thing and I kind of got to look into what social media was like in 2011 in 2012 because as I was saying I wasn't around for that I swore off social media at that time and it was a really mean place and I can see why that wave crested of political correctness because it was so politically incorrect you were allowed to say anything about anybody that the wave crested and now we have too much of it and just like with too much of anything it's an ebb and flow now everyone is starting to realize like okay we can't be this stringent about every single little thing but there is a lot of good

[00:10:41] Joseph: Aspects that have come from canceled culture and I'm not mad at a lot of it I think that body positivity and things like that are great and I'm glad that if you try to say some homophobic remarks on the Internet there is a gang of blue haired blue haired girls that are going to post your picture and everyone's gonna know about your homophobia leave so I like that

[00:11:00] Jacob: Right I don't like this if it doesn't

[00:11:04] Joseph: Fit my agenda ruin this man's life yeah that's fine that's what I don't like or woman's life yeah like the lady who got off the plane from that go in Africa hope I don't get AIDS don't worry I'm white Richard Branson or the Bronson guy k-member his name he's the guy who wrote men who stare at goats he wrote a book about her where this woman and this is like 2013 before she really realized you can't say that she is about to get on a plane to Africa and does a stupid tweet she has probably 30 followers about to go to Africa hope I don't get AIDS oh don't worry I won't I'm white she has 30 followers she's a nurse or something she's probably not thinking much this woman gets on a plane no we're playing no phone on a plane when she steps off that plane her life is over she has been

[00:11:52] Jacob: Cancelled and completely stoned in the public square by the time she steps off that plane and her life changed in a matter of three hours and that can

[00:12:04] Joseph: Happen to anybody well you don't have to be famous well so ok so take apart that situation they're like holy **** like I mean obviously I feel bad for her like we're OK but so in this age situation she said something that would be perceived as racist very racist no but but so how do we solve that how do we like how do we like **** and hook her up to a lie-detector test and be like are you racist though like are you a threat to other people's way of life are you it's up to the court of public opinion and the court of public opinion is not nice if you're asking me someone who is very trained in the art of nuance and context because I tell a lot of very polarizing jokes I see that you were

[00:12:46] Jacob: Joking you didn't say hey guys black people are the cause for AIDS and the only ones who get it I'm white and proud you didn't say that you made a joke and I can tell you were trying to joke so it was distasteful it wasn't really funny at all I forgive you the court of public opinion does not agree with me you are racist for even thinking that can either say it like it like it's the words it doesn't matter who you are these words if you say them that tweet now defines you as a person yeah I don't care how much charity you've done in your life to the court of public opinion I'm not saying it's right but to them you're done that's it and it's like I am going

[00:13:24] Joseph: To Africa to work with Doctors Without Borders to save it but I don't care if you is that what she was doing actually was Kota BIM I don't know probably not yet but still it could have been that same exact now people would not care that's the other thing in minefield it's just that it's crazy how close it is we're just talking about like the Queen's I can't **** this guy off with this jesters head oh dude I'm glad that I so

[00:13:48] Jacob: We were saying earlier MySpace was the saying 2008 2009 I was still in high school I was probably a senior I was about 18 19 at the time and Facebook reared its ugly little mug and everyone was like oh there's this new social media I said you know what this stuff makes me feel weird when I'm on it and I don't really think I liked it and I did not get on the internet or own a smartphone from 2008 to 2016 at all I would get on once in a while to like look up a YouTube video or whatever you know what I mean but even though I was just like looking up like awesome fails very 2020 and I'm glad that I did

[00:14:24] Joseph: Not have the internet back then I'm also not glad because I think I would be much further in my career at this point if I did have it but the things that I would have said and I would have thought and I would have believed back then I was a very different person I'm glad that I got to go through my 18 to 24 year old stage of having all these stupid ideas and dumb jokes and all these things I'm glad that I got to do that in private and no one's ever gonna be able to go back and look at something stupid I said when I was 19 because that would **** scare the **** out of me I just I cast well dude I have so I've been someone who's been **** thoroughly addicted social media have always liked social media I've liked MySpace I was like I'm

[00:15:02] Jacob: Gonna be the eye who lays on the train tracks and gets my photo taken and like do you know what's funny is like I got reassurance I was talking about it's another podcast and in my friend Mackenzie was like no you were cool you were cool I was like other people

[00:15:17] Joseph: Saw me who didn't know me in person but on MySpace anyway so like I've always been in the **** into social media and I never like I don't even know like I didn't ask myself like why I was just so into it but um I feel like it was such an addiction that I didn't know that I have yeah is simple **** dopamine pleasures like it like I don't even know what I'm consuming dude and I didn't really know that and I did I worked in a lumber mill for five years and essentially what I did was the

[00:15:44] Joseph: Job itself was easy as cake and if you're good at it you don't touch it but you hit this button in this button and as long as you got everything set up good if nothing **** up you don't have to get out that console's happening row i sat there on my phone I would sit there and I would I would hit the button and then less than a minute would go by and I would pull up the exact same apps refresh them and see if anybody say anything new and like I never I would haven't stopped myself to be like the **** am i doing like why am i consuming this why do I want to know what these people are saying it takes a lot to step back and look at yourself from the lens of what the **** what do

[00:16:14] Jacob: You do you think that could you do like an open comparison between like maybe what other people experience like even compare us not gonna hurt my friends with anything either but like do you feel what do you feel that you maybe got that I didn't get her like what did I take away from myself from being what did I get from being on social media or not being on social from not being on social media I do I know that there are things that are way below I saw this

[00:16:41] Joseph: This artist that I really love this tattoo artist did this on somebody I miss my pre-internet brain this whole FOMO this anxiety that I have this where's my phone when I leave a place when I go a place when I go to the bathroom who's messaging I did not have

[00:16:59] Jacob: That I was exactly where I was even

[00:17:01] Joseph: Though I was still dealing with mental health issues I still was depressed I still wasn't completely happy in life I was where I was and that's where I was and I wasn't supposed to be anywhere else there was no looking at my phone like what's this I didn't have that at all I miss that so much I miss not worrying about being somewhere that I'm supposed to be like I was exactly with who I was with I was talking to that person you would never have a conversation with me where oh yeah uh-huh that would never happen it wasn't it realm and I the thing that I didn't get from it was validation for my art I needed that and I wasn't getting it well yeah but that's not for everybody not everybody is a creator not everybody needs validation on the internet but I literally was living in a realm of is this even funny am I even good at singing am i

[00:17:50] Joseph: Delusional because I try not to be narcissistic and I really had this crazy battle before I got an Internet of I didn't even want to post stuff cuz I was like am i **** crazy like am i delusional because I didn't want to just think like oh wow I'm really funny and just do it and the internet gave me reassurance of you're not crazy your belief in yourself is founded because other people believe in you just as much as you do it's showable and it's provable so I didn't have that validation I felt really alone in the world but I also felt so relaxed calm without the internet I was fine I did there was nothing to check that was the only thing I had to check with my poll think about FOMO like just that word like you know it's kind of like a it's a laughable like joke where they think about the little blue the Bluebird for

[00:18:40] Joseph: Twitter is like oh it's cute little Bluebird but like Twitter is like you can ruin your **** life by saying something like it's these little dorky things FOMO we have that word we hear that it's kind of like said in pop culture but like **** man it's a real thing like people feel genuine like my life sucks my house sucks I hate everything cuz I'm not with these people they didn't invite me I'm not being a part of this thing I'm missing out on this I didn't hear the hottest music I didn't see the newest thing I'm missing out on joke so that I don't get because people are talking about the memes they just saw that are new like it's a you know fear of missing out FOMO but

[00:19:12] Jacob: It's another way for being in physical reality for all of a sudden our fear body are like old limbic reptilian

[00:19:19] Joseph: Brain to be activated I think I think that it's something that just like with all things just like with all drugs you can use it medicinally and it can be a drug the fact that it can be an addiction the fact that I can get on here and even though my life is in shambles I am sleeping on a box spring I that not to say that any of this true it totally is I'm drinking mouthwash every day my life is terrible but at least I am doing well on the internet or whatever that can be really detrimental but if you use it as a tool

[00:19:50] Jacob: To like be motivation yeah I get everything in my life is not great right now but the Internet is a place where I get a validation and it makes me feel good also you need to be changing those things in your life that aren't good like that's great that you get validation from the internet but get a good bed you know strive

[00:20:10] Joseph: Offspring strive for something more and get that validation from the Internet don't let that validation from the Internet Beamer and all be all I think I get noticing that it's validation is the biggest thing yes like a lot of a lot of us don't know that we're seeking validation like me for example for many years I didn't realize I'm just I'm just need approval of other people I need to like think of something that's gonna get likes rather than like what I really **** want to say like what do I really like now when I post to Instagram I get sometimes **** 14 likes but it's something that I genuinely **** like now man and it's not like but back then I could post the

[00:20:44] Jacob: Coolest outfit then I like you know took awhile to do the lighting and I blob I and half a cool background and I get like **** 170 likes but I feel like I never took the time from like high school to whenever to be like what are likes what am i doing why do I want them they're just it's a playing a **** slot machine getting a little themeing ting and it you realize

[00:21:03] Joseph: It's like a breeding ground for not good feelings that you're like editing this picture and everything and you're not like oh I look good you're like oh I look better if I do this yes exactly you're not like oh man great I look so cool in this outfit you're like man I hope my shoes are new enough and I hope this filter works I'll make myself better and then you get the validation from this character that you've developed but that's not real that's not you that's not real that's not someone saying hey you're a good person I've seen how you act with your friends and I think you're beautiful for that's not the same as going hey you have a sick outfit that's all superficial so you might get validation from that but it's not true and I think people know that I went to the internet

[00:21:45] Jacob: For validation I am very aware that's

[00:21:47] Joseph: What I was seeking so I don't really have a good spectrum on that maybe because I am very comfortable with the fact that I want you to tell me that I am funny I want you to tell me that I am attractive I need that and I'm okay with that but I don't define myself by that because I have this whole definition of myself that I had before I even had social media but it's just it's this it's just like drugs dude it is it's just like drugs man like opiates literally can be a helper or a harm

[00:22:19] Jacob: You'd choose how you want to use it right it just depends I feel bad for

[00:22:23] Joseph: People who I can tell that social media

[00:22:28] Jacob: Is the only like last it's all that they're holding on with and they're not even using it properly like your your thing that's keeping you going is anger and reserve and resentment and

[00:22:41] Joseph: Bitterness and narcissism when you could be using social media to get positive validation by say like how you do when someone you make someone else feel good hmm how about make someone else feel good that's gonna make you have some **** validation that you can't even understand from getting a compliment on your outfit right like you can use the

[00:23:01] Jacob: Internet for good or you can use it for evil what kind of validation you want I want validation from validating you right you know and also tell me I'm cute also hit

[00:23:10] Joseph: Like just saying I think social media is

[00:23:13] Jacob: Cool like you know I can brain fart at

[00:23:21] Joseph: Exactly what I thought I was going to say something massively important we does that we haven't even smoked I took a hit I took the hit a weed you right there it is a just for you buddy oh my god some bounds and some weeds I've been

[00:23:33] Jacob: Smoking weed since the fourth grade can you believe that yo you know what's funny is I probably like okay well I met you originally we used to skateboard together back in the day this is true twelve thirteen I'm trying to think I

[00:23:46] Joseph: Definitely didn't smoke weed I probably thought smoking weed was super square but it was because my dad just super loved meth and he also did weed so I was just like drugs not cool bad right but then I but then

[00:23:58] Jacob: You know what's **** funny and probably traumatizing is by the time I turned 15 I was hanging out at my dad and we smoked weed together he wasn't doing math back you know he was cool when you were how old 15 okay yeah so that's when my family started smoking with me too my grandma handed me the pipe of 14 around that age my grandma was also watching as my dad just get stitches yeah I've been smoking a good amount of weed during quarantine it's

[00:24:29] Joseph: It's funny like it's of course

[00:24:32] Jacob: A habit and addiction it's something that I'm like okay like I definitely do if I'm in a situation and I'm not stoned I'm like hanging out my backyard I'm like mmm I should go take a bong rip because playing with my papi or mowing the lawn is just gonna be like a little bit cooler stoned but so like I try to

[00:24:51] Joseph: Like watch it when I'm like trying to get myself too stoned all the time when I'm just like Oh am I trying to just make everything a little bit better than it needs to be or am I like because when the lawn can be just as fine play my dog could be just as fine without it yeah I think it's much like social media where it's okay if you get that up from it but

[00:25:10] Jacob: Can you get the same thing petting your dog or having fun with your dog without it if you need weed to have a good time you need to check yourself if it is enhancing your time I'm **** cool with that right like that is completely fine I don't know like I kind of have I

[00:25:26] Joseph: Don't really know so much what it's like to not feel hi or what is the word

[00:25:33] Jacob: **** mind-altering substances my mind

[00:25:37] Joseph: Altered I when you met me in eighth grade I was using meth heroin at 14 15 years old I've had been smoking weed for a long time I had been drinking for a long time I've been doing that for a long time and there is only a very short periods of my time in my life where I know what it's like to be me completely

[00:25:57] Jacob: Unaltered at all usually those are very

[00:26:01] Joseph: Very uncomfortable times in my life and

[00:26:04] Jacob: Usually they're also very clear like I have the most clarity and the most awe-inspiring epiphanies of my life at the same time I've gotten a lot of my motivation and a lot of my sense of self-worth from when I'm sober when I'm sober is when I tell myself that I am a **** beast and I can do this I tend to get down not get down on myself but like ah man you just did you're just a **** slacker bla yeah go truck some mouthwash type deal when I'm into mouthwash I need ice telling you everybody on the internet thinks I chug mouthwash on a daily basis he does I do but uh I forgot what I was

[00:26:41] Joseph: Saying but I'm the motivation to like actually what were we talking about the mouthwash thing totally **** threw me off but

[00:26:51] Jacob: Yeah **** just using things in moderation in like having like a regular consciousness of sober like yes I don't have as good to do grasp on it and so it's hard for me to decide am I using this weed for a good reason am i drinking for the right reason I've gone through times in the past two years where I have been a stone-cold blackout drunk alcoholic and now at that point in my time in life that sounds completely unattractive to me okay which part of me is the actual base level where I'm going to slake where I operate from am I an alcoholic trying to be sober or am i a sober person who just had a weird year you know cuz I don't I've never had a problem with alcohol before so like I try to like why was I doing that what was I getting out of or why am i smoking weed now and as long as I feel like it's for I can enjoy life

[00:27:47] Joseph: Without it I can do things without it like I don't have to be drunk or stoned when I go on stage I don't need to be drunk or stoned to perform I don't need to be drunk or stoned to be with my girlfriend to be with my friends but it enhances it so I'm cool with it the moment that I stop hanging out with my friends cuz I don't got any weed is the moment that I stop smoking weed

[00:28:04] Jacob: Right I feel instantly so that takes chug a beer yeah right now see I don't I don't drink I don't really get like **** up too often like a couple times a year like we have a couple trips that we do and I'm like yeah I'm get ready man I'm like taking extra fiber and I'm like I gotta be drinking this much more water because next week we're doing this thing but now I don't know I feel like the under tractors my thing for a long time was coke I just **** love cocaine there's never a thing for me yeah it was a for me you know what's crazy is I think a lot of it was I would get together with people in we would just be dreamers man like we it was a lot of like the one time I gave myself permission to feel something I think yeah and I also so I started doing a lot more coke I try it before but I started doing a lot more coke Wow when I when I got off antidepressants

[00:28:53] Jacob: Because I had this **** I actually had a reddit comment that like flipped my something in my **** brain that like hurt me and I was on antidepressants they went through a bunch of stages if I hated all of them and they sucked and they weren't working for me and then I finally up my dose up my dose and I was like okay I had a few days or a few weeks it's like okay I'm feeling pretty levelled out like I but it was a weird feeling and then I was reading this reddit comment that was like it basically said like you know inner presses work for me really well and then I suddenly realized that it wasn't actually me and I was just using the you know I was just feeling that because the drug was blocking out so it was like something that just put it like bling like bluntly and I was like oh no and then so I went through a few more months of like getting off of them and cold turkey and then it turned into and

[00:29:36] Jacob: This is not all blaming like what I would do cocaine just because it's **** fun like how it was you know but this kind of led me into this like oh is that this weird not feeling anything like because a lot of times antidepressants can make you they level you out but it's like you don't feel the extreme sadness but you also don't feel the extreme like yeah and I'm someone who's like I'm just sometimes I am up and down like some you know ADHD or whatever like so it was kind of like

[00:30:03] Joseph: Giving me something to feel whereas before I was just not feeling anything and it was at one time you could actually start to like talk from me my true self because I was actually letting myself feel excitement talking about dreaming like what I want to do I think that resonates with a lot of people do I

[00:30:19] Jacob: Because I instantly when you said that I kind of like oh wow so many people that I have because I'm not a very big cocaine guy but I have a lot of friends who have been and I've been in those rooms you know what I mean so many people I've talked to I want to be a singer I actually want to do this is my actually have a dream of this and then they never tell you that until your yeah that room gets lines deep and it's almost like they needed that to feel comfortable with themselves because how dare I ever be a singer how dare I ever have a dream and it lets you feel that right it allows you to become the thing

[00:30:56] Joseph: That you are hoping to be without ever actually having to do the emotional work to get there right like oh yeah it's so crazy how excited I feel now just knowing that like I don't just talk about it and I'm really like accepting what I want for myself and I'm like yeah I am work and I'm more realistic about like the timeframe of like everything you do everyday is just a little more **** chipping away at it's actually interesting to think about just like the inability of our sis of our not society but a lot of us to like dream out loud without feeling that we can and without feeling like put down for it or without trying to explain our way out of it or without feeling silly like especially if you're self-aware yeah ooh

[00:31:39] Jacob: Okay so I heard this thing I heard this thing so the Martin Luther King I have a dream speech that apparently and I just heard this a couple weeks ago he had a friend or a family member somebody who was actually behind him and he was going on and he was he was on the script and he was saying what he had to say and I have a dream speech it was actually off the off the dome I guess wow that was that was a freestyle of some sorts right surely somebody behind him was leaning forward and going tell them about the dream

[00:32:06] Joseph: Well Italy so I want to fact-check this for sure I wish we had a Jamie but it's Joey's got I quite imagine if you were there what a mess if he wasn't there do what would we be **** talking about what would our world be I think that like in that's what I want this podcast to be to inspire people to do that too is like **** dude if you got a friend who's telling you about some **** tell them I know you more than a lot of people do bro and like if you really look into it but like dude I know that you can do this yeah you gotta **** just put some work in be realistic but don't **** crush anybody's dreams well you are that thing the dice that you have rolled that of like that you've landed here because so far you haven't really been trying you have rolled a lot of people you have just kind of landed where you're at my mom did this my dad did this we lived here I went to school here I got offered a job here this is my life secretly I want to be a singer that place that you landed is not you that thing that you

[00:32:58] Joseph: Are dreaming quite possibly is really that's the actual you the thing that you're like telling yourself that you can't talk about unless you're on cocaine that quite possibly is your actual self that's why you're so it's that Jim Carrey quote it's your avatar telling you that you're not in the correct spot you just landed here you're not guy who works at the mill that's not you bro your cousin got you a job that doesn't define you that's not your **** goal in life and you're telling yourself that you can't be **** guitar player or whatever did when that is so much more true to your bones than anything else you've ever done in your life you're just scared because people landed you in a place or you landed in a place and that's what it is that's the thing I've always had a hard time accepting where I've landed mm-hmm I cannot land here this is not it

[00:33:43] Joseph: I know I know for a fact that this is not where I'm supposed to be and I think people have a hard time stomaching that from me cuz it can come off as narcissistic when I'm like this is not gonna be my career but I know that this is not it for me and I think that a lot of people are not realizing that it's like living someone else's truth or something yeah like it's just crazy like to see like how many and when you are a dreamer or someone who is on the on the fringes or you're somebody who's just a creative or like I'm just like you probably have it too like it seems like people are more apt to tell you like panic and I wish that I was like a stand-up comedian Oh more than any other art but go ahead yeah right but it's I don't know I think just

[00:34:28] Jacob: To put a little plug in that's that specific thought so a listener I think just realized when you're when you're on either sides of these coins like if one of your friends is kind of just like casually given a little like oh or maybe you guys are **** up and it's 4:00 a. m. and you just did three grams and your friends like bro I want to be an actor so bad story today you know what tomorrow bro let's stop doing cocaine at 10:30 tomorrow bro let's stop doing cocaine and at some point at some point

[00:34:57] Joseph: Next week let's stop but no what you're

[00:35:02] Jacob: Saying is correct and I think that goes with the Jim Carrey quote of you feel like you are this person but if you actually what you think is uncomfortable for you think that the most uncomfortable thing in the world would be to put yourself out there and really try acting oh my god that sounds terrible the most uncomfortable thing in the world is what you're doing your job that you hate that is the most uncomfortable thing in the world even if you failed and you went and tried to be an actor you would be a lot more comfortable doing that because you'd be happy and you would die knowing **** I tried and you would have that sense of like okay I did the thing I did it you beam more comfortable being what you truly want to be at your heart then the job that you were assigned at birth in your town you know you think you're more comfortable you're not you so much more comfortable in your own water well so we have a whole we have a whole generation

[00:35:57] Joseph: Is such a generalization but like think

[00:36:01] Jacob: About you know our parents like how they were raised our parents ages they're raised to like work you know work in factories and work in jobs and what you do whatever it's a our way of like thought is completely different like it's I'm just kidding I'm just I'm always trying to look at like the kids who are going at now in trainers yeah our parents right they were taught

[00:36:27] Joseph: But it's so different like it's so like it's like here's exactly what you do and if you question it they're like it's because you do it come on it's cuz they're like well why would I why would I apply at that job if I don't really want to work they're like cuz you need a 401k you idiot and you're like why do I need a 401k because you want to retire when they don't you and you're like this isn't mean like this

[00:36:48] Jacob: Reminds me not to like **** bring up

[00:36:51] Joseph: My own self promote right now but I have a song called something about working and the lyrics are something about working every **** weekend you say it is not worth it they say you're overthinking no I'm not I like that yeah like you're not overthinking there is something about **** working every weekend and it's killing you right stop figure out a way to make it to marry the two because I understand you have to survive I understand that we have to pay our bills and everything but you cannot keep on just talking about this part of you when you do cocaine you have to let it all live together it has to all be free I did not become a full person and realize Who I am until I started being comfortable with the fact that I want to be a stand-up comedian if I only talked about it when I did cocaine dude I would have been that a long time ago no I

[00:37:37] Jacob: Would have given up a long time ago I you have to be comfortable with your dreams you know let yourself have it yeah let yourself feel like you were saying earlier it was the only time that you would let yourself feel em hmm dude **** that's heavy like as soon as you said that I was like yes I think that's probably resonant for a lot of people who have cocaine problems is it is okay I can let it out now it's never been a thing for me I don't know if I have a TD or ADHD but I tend to have the symptoms of it where uppers are very overwhelming for me and I've never liked that kind of stuff I get very anxiety-ridden and I already have enough anxiety and depression as it is but I've never been a fan of that

[00:38:17] Joseph: Hallucinogens even that type of thing is a little scary for me I got offered DMT last night but I was in the world I was scared I was scared I was in the woods you would have been in another **** dimension you know I like to be on someone's couch it two-sentence setting is the psychedelics and I'm just saying that because I list do it a lot I have not done psychedelics anything I did LSD on accident I think that's a way to do it I had done three triple stacks of ecstasy we're at a rave in Seattle I was **** up beyond belief and I took a pill from a stranger and then I was seeing comic book bubbles with the letter R **** was crazy it would be hard to differentiate into like what's really going on with you when you're that deep into a **** no I always happening like I was I was convincing was it convincing myself that my friends weren't my friends it was like weird I would not be not to say that the person I am today is very great but I am very proud that I am not the

[00:39:12] Joseph: Person that I was going to be and I think that I am a lot better than I was and I would not be the person that I am without hallucinogens without psilocybin and without dimethyltryptamine I would not be me you need can you tell me why when I was about 15 just to give you

[00:39:28] Jacob: Some reference to like what kind of kid I was at the time Jake kind of knew me back then I was in and out of juvie every other week every other weekend I smoked meth I smoked heroin three weeks

[00:39:39] Joseph: Before this life-changing psilocybin trip I got the tattoo **** happens on my knuckles when I was 15 years old so that's the kind of kid I was I had no hopes of a future if you asked me what I wanted to be I would have said I just want to skate and be a functioning drug addict I'll do whatever

[00:39:57] Jacob: I'll sell Joe like that was my goal you know what I mean I had no sense of I am

[00:40:04] Joseph: A good person whatsoever my buddy

[00:40:07] Jacob: Who shall rename nameless but let's call

[00:40:10] Joseph: Him Jordan because that's his real name he sold me these shrooms and he was like hey listen I grew these in my basement they're not normal and I'm like Oh normal only eat one or two and I was like okay so me being me I the whole bag which was 1/8 and it was a way too much

[00:40:31] Jacob: And the initial thing happened of I'm just seeing crazy things right I would blink my eyes and all of my friends we were sitting around a campfire all of my friends would disappear and then I would blink my eyes again and they would come back it was pretty wild um my friends tried to bring me some food it looked like it was covered in maggots the classic stuff my uncle walked around the corner of the house and he looked like he was 20 feet tall and he was like resting his elbow on the **** roof just all kinds of things like that my cousin looked like he was covered in scales and had a tail whatever my

[00:41:03] Joseph: Girlfriend's this is my favorite one though I have to say this one my girlfriend's nose the end of her nose started blowing up like a helium balloon oh and then it popped in my face and the flesh man all over me whoa so at this point wait did that flip it traumatizing all sudden like that's not fun at all none of this for some reason Rob really

[00:41:21] Jacob: Tall uncle it was so funny because it's right it was extremely unsettling and frightening my chain my figure Oh 2006

[00:41:30] Joseph: Gangster chain turned into a snake crawled down my pants so I thought everyone was trying to kill me I needed my mom or my brother to come and pick me up this is very common when you trip out the only people you trust is your mother that's the only person who wasn't trying to kill me I have my brother come and pick me up of course he messes with me the whole entire ride home convincing me that I'm

[00:41:48] Jacob: In a spaceship whatever you know I get home and my mom as soon as I get home I enter this realm of safety mm everything becomes less dark it becomes okay I literally I'm 16 15 years old I have my mom cradle me in her arms like a baby and I make her put her hand in my mouth and people can't see this but I make her

[00:42:10] Joseph: Put her hand with her fingers in my mouth and her palm on the bottom of my chin kind of like you would facemask somebody in football perfect **** description I did that because if you've ever seen The Grudge when people's jaws fall off it felt like my jaw was doing that and I needed her reassurance that it wasn't happening so I sound fun it no it was traumatizing and to this day I have nightmares about it was not fun but I closed my eyes and then I went into this nowhere place I didn't have a body but what is the body huh what is me I don't

[00:42:44] Jacob: Even know what the concept of where's the edges yes I was just a floating ball of gas and I was in this black realm and then my probation officer at the time shows up from the abyss and starts walking towards me I didn't know that's who it was she opens up a case folder and starts reading me basically someone's like life stats you know I mean like what happened in their life she was telling me about myself but I had full amnesia I did not know who I was whatsoever I was just like why are you telling me this and then she was like this is you and it all hit me at once instantly every memory I ever had of all my whole life and I'm not a good kid I'm on heroin meth all this **** my reality hits me how it would hit a stranger you know what I mean right I am seeing myself from someone else's

[00:43:26] Joseph: Perspective and it **** me up and my mom was going through this with me like I'm asking my mom like this is really me I'm remembering things like this is who I am I go to juvie all the time I smoked heroin like this is really me mom and she's like yes son this is this is really you and I'm like **** I don't like this I'm gonna change and I didn't fully change I've still had battles with drug addiction since then I've still had bottle battles with the look I will say this I didn't have a run-in with the law or do anything criminal for ten years until I got a DUI after that I completely changed my life like I completely changed the way I was as like a like the stealing and robbing and lying and terrible kid breaking into people's houses I robbed every elementary school in store in this town whoop statute of limitations anyways it was more than 10 years ago kids I already checked so I was just this

[00:44:21] Jacob: Terrible person and I stopped doing that

[00:44:25] Joseph: I stopped being that I still had my faults I still was a cheater I still wasn't the best husband I wasn't the best boyfriend I wasn't the best son but I changed a lot about me and I would not have done that without psilocybin mushrooms it showed me to myself I got

[00:44:37] Jacob: To meet me man do you think it like Mike it pulled the real you out from in there like it's like Oh like you didn't even know it was in how we were saying like that's not the real actual you like yes it showed me to like because the person was saying oh that wasn't actually me it was the drugs I was underneath all of that yes it made me realize ik no you're not a piece of **** dude you're not some punk rock spit on someone's face and you

[00:45:02] Joseph: Didn't want love yes I wanted that blood I wanted to be cool when I was a kid really bad well I'm just saying like the essence of everyone's being in this whole world like what the one thing like what are you kind of leaning towards more than anything love yes that is the goal yeah that is what we all want is to be loved and to love that showed me a lot of things and I still had a really rough go from there like I still had a rough go at being a father I still had a rough go at drug addiction I never was addicted to heroin as a teenager but later on around 20 19 years old I picked it up randomly get this because it made my voice sounded cool and when I would record started is I liked the way it made my voice sound now the way it turned into a real addiction but even then I kind of managed it and maintained it to where it was never anything public it was never anything that like was like holy **** Joseph go to rehab but it was always a problem but

[00:46:02] Jacob: Um I wasn't perfect after that

[00:46:05] Joseph: Psilocybin trip is what I'm saying but the DMT trip that I had that did a

[00:46:11] Jacob: Whole nother Mindwipe and changed a bunch of perspectives on me too that is a whole different ballgame I recommend if you feel like you have the mental capacity to handle it and you can be in a safe environment and you can do it in a controlled environment even if you can go to a therapist in a state where it's legal I recommend hallucinogenic therapy

[00:46:30] Joseph: Psychedelic therapy it's really good DMT really helped me to I study a lot of this **** and I kind of like I have my projections for where I think the future is gonna be with it and I think that psilocybin especially but like a lot of these hulusi genetics are going to like weird sick see five-year-old Debbie is taking **** psilocybin in three years for sure like so there they have so much **** success rate with people and depression and anxiety in PTSD and all this **** and I'm so excited for a little bit so yeah dude I thanks for sharing your **** story that's so awesome that you shared that it was advanced change would you like to share your DMT one as well that one's good that's not so long that was a quick one I can okay so that one was a whole different so the first one was psilocybin and they all react differently to you and you react differently to them the best way I ever heard someone put it is acid is like you're the driver and psilocybin is like you're the passenger DMT is like what the **** is a car on a rocket yeah so I did DMT I was with my ex at the time

[00:47:35] Jacob: This was before any of our really toxic things have happened and everything was honeymoon and great vibes you know I mean I'm in a hotel room with a lovely shag carpet it was great perfect setting you know I mean I never seen a hotel room with a loveseat that was great or no not a loveseat but like a full it

[00:47:51] Joseph: Was like a house it was lovely so it got presented to me I didn't plan on doing it just kind of popped up we were offered it we go to this hotel room we do it I kind of did this weird thing where I broke through but I did something which is really rare breaking through is you could trip out on DMT or

[00:48:08] Jacob: You could break through which is like a life-changing experience like you blast off into the cosmos and you know when you broke through because it's like you come out of it crying and **** um you could either have a little trip or you could break through I did this weird middle plane thing where I still had function over my body and I could walk around and control myself but I was not **** here tell you that much it basically did this for me I felt

[00:48:31] Joseph: Everything bad that anybody had ever done to me in my life all at one ****

[00:48:40] Jacob: Moment like every single wrong that had ever happened to me that I perceive is the wrong that the my stepdad beating me the my father abandoned me like just random things you know what I mean any wrong I ever perceived in life was thrown on me all at once and it was in the metaphor of mud dolloping on me and like taking me down til I was like in a fetal position and when it was all along and I felt like I was gonna suffocate at this one moment this light appeared in my mind and it told me to just let it all go and I forgave every and I mean this

[00:49:11] Joseph: I'm not just saying this is like oh stupid new and this is why I don't like to talk about DMT because it makes you seem very like hippie-ish I'm very skeptical and not a very spiritual person guys like this is very evident to me what happened to me everything that I ever felt in my life that happened to me I forgave people everybody whoever did anything I forgave that's the **** power of that and the mud fleN off of me in like this weird explosion and I like it was like those memes where you see the chick like fling her hair out of the water all sexy or Jason Momoa I did that and the mud flew off of me and then I felt every bad thing I had ever done to somebody else ooh yeah that was way worse yeah way **** worse all the things I had done to somebody who how God our psyches are

[00:49:56] Joseph: So **** like how could you possibly just pull all of that like alright here's everything I've been taking Italia the back of my mind and all of it's right here and I just tip the bucket over so how does our psyche understand that it was like walking through a long corridor with a thousand to a million doors on each side and each

[00:50:12] Jacob: Door you look in there's you having a conversation with yourself and you know each conversation as they're going on you know exactly what was being said it was insane but then in the sense in the same instant that I felt all the wrongs I did I forgave myself and one thing that rang true in my head was we are not our fault we are not defined by our faults the bad things you've done are bad you shouldn't have done them but

[00:50:37] Joseph: That's not you and that goes at this whole cancer culture **** that's why I don't feel it like other people feel that I don't feel the need to take this man's livelihood away or this woman's you're not defined by that I'm sorry you're not the bad things you did in life absolutely I mean there's exceptions like if you're **** Ted Bundy you're kind of your faults okay

[00:50:54] Jacob: For the most part for us everyday people man don't define yourself by the bad things you did that's something I struggle with every day to this day is I am the bad things I've done but I'm not I'm not **** they're just bad things that I've done yeah they're not they're just they're just they're just things in my that are like hey you need to learn about this more than you the more than you know yeah thank you look in we're a trip over some **** sometimes you know what did you do that brought you to that point it can't all just be my nurture it

[00:51:25] Joseph: Can't all just be what happened to me what is your nature what part did you play in this I once got cheated on and I'm not even playing I really and I know it's not my fault she shouldn't have cheated I mean that's okay I get it guys I really evaluated what I was doing to cause

[00:51:40] Jacob: Myself to get cheated on mmm I didn't have my own place at the time I was kind of a loser I was sleeping on a couch or

[00:51:47] Joseph: In my car I didn't have any motivation

[00:51:50] Jacob: You know what I mean I wasn't like being everything I could like out you know and I evaluated like how could I have prevented this you know what I mean I still shouldn't have got cheated on and I hope you **** know it you broke my heart but I did way out what did I do to

[00:52:08] Joseph: Make myself uh cheat honorable right you know yeah you got to bring that awareness there's two sides to every story I was being a lame I was so poor but yeah there is I want to I want to swing back to your band I don't want to miss that just because that's Newhall

[00:52:25] Jacob: Yeah so I didn't know you as and we to skate together back in the day not that I like **** super knowing now at all either but nobody really does tell me about do you write the music like because I'm asking as someone who is I'm a new musician I've been a DJ for a while but I'm not a musician I'm well I'm new I'm not I'm getting less afraid to show people the world my **** but it still sucks I hope it's good to fifteen years but so I'm just really curious about bands and writing I think we are very much so in the same either mind whether we whether it's true or not were very much so in the same state of mind in the same realm right now we're on the way over here I was like Jake is my DJ

[00:53:08] Joseph: Friend he knows about music not me like

[00:53:10] Jacob: So you know what I mean like even I am in that realm of like I **** all's I know is how to hit notes that's all I got baby I got pipes that's it yeah and I actually wanted to create a we're gonna be doing a lot of things on our YouTube channel it's an interview series based around the fact that I don't know **** about music and all my friends do yeah yes my friends are super knowledgeable and I want to ask them about it you know I don't write music per se my friend does all the guitar he comes to me with ideas or I come to him with ideas Scotty biscone or my **** guitar seems amazingly talented he's one of the more talented musicians in terms of guitar I would say in the Pacific Northwest and he's in a really great band called outlet they're signed to ten city records he's the lead singer of that check that band out um outlet and

[00:54:00] Joseph: He does all of the guitar picky stuff

[00:54:04] Jacob: Every once in a while I'll bust out a **** harmonica or a tambourine or something you know and I'm pretty sure I have a harmonic on me right now I always keep one on me I keep that bang on me to go yeah I guarantee you I do but um we write it really cohesively and almost jam band like where he comes to me with something and I will just start singing and it didn't Evatt ibly becomes a song

[00:54:26] Joseph: But um right now we're about four songs

[00:54:29] Jacob: Deep into our first album EP we don't

[00:54:32] Joseph: Really know what it's gonna be our band is called Stay In Prison our first project is gonna be called is called four loko green-apple strong cider honey is it four loko **** it's a grocery list that my friend had one day and it's I love it I didn't know I was a musician I kind of sung in private when I was a kid and I did a lot of impersonations singing like if a song came on the radio I was really good at sounding just like that guy whether it be Phil Collins or all my voice like that yeah I love doing like God was in Garth Brooks so that whatever and then lo play yes I was great at doing that and also changing the lyrics I've never sung a song correctly in my **** life she will vouch for it I just letting it my girlfriend obsessed Haley's gonna be laughing so hard when she hears this because I'm not was what I love to make her I just love to make her laugh by changing the lyrics I am the weird I love my life so I never really took it

[00:55:30] Joseph: Seriously though much like stand-up comedy when I was a kid I was just like oh that's something that I kind of do that's cute but I'm not like passionate about being a singer around like four or five years ago my cousin died I was trying to figure out what I wanted to do with my life inspired me to pull myself out of that I

[00:55:47] Jacob: Am NOT my job at the chicken factory saying you know and I was trying to figure out what I wanted to do journalism singing comedy and I started teaching myself how to sing mostly by just being in my car and being very loud and obnoxious and every day I would

[00:56:04] Joseph: Get a little bit better and a little bit better and then people started to hear me singing because I had friends who are musicians and then people are starting to ask me to be in their band and then people are starting to ask me to be in their projects and that's how I met Jake the bass player for Rose tan we were in a little project called Ross Avenue **** about a year and a half two years ago I Jake is the **** one of my

[00:56:26] Jacob: Favorite musicians in town he's a good dude love that guy me and him jammed very well together and I love row Stan but then eventually it much like we

[00:56:36] Joseph: Were saying where it becomes evident like I put something out and people go hey that's good I sing in people like hey sing in my band and I'm like okay I did it I wheeled myself into the I made people think that I am a musician I'm not I just taught myself how to sing two years ago so I'm learning as I go it's a learning process every day I'm learning how to record I'm learning how to structure music luckily my friends are **** geniuses I have a lot of support and help in that realm I knows a lot of the I'm in the scene luckily I weaseled my way into it whereas if I was just in my living room or in my bedroom making YouTube videos doing my own thing and not putting myself out there not going out there and oh you play guitar play let me sing or just a meeting people and put yourself out there in the art that you want to be in and eventually that bobber is gonna dunk under and someone's gonna ask you to do something or you're gonna get to do it if you that's great don't not make

[00:57:36] Joseph: Videos at home keep doing that but definitely try to put yourself out there in the scene because if I didn't do that I wouldn't be in a band right now and I think don't wait till you think you're good to like don't wait till you like because me like I'm I sing a little good comedy I don't care if you suck ass get out there and do open mics dude right open mics are a super super important thing we're talking about that we'll just flip the script on that so open mics I think a lot of times when we go out we go out to see let's say we're just someone who doesn't do any creative we're never up on the stage we're just someone who consumes we're someone who just goes out to bars without - comedy clubs once in a while I would see comedians mm-hmm as an audience member we have a job right yeah like I think that you know and we can we can dive into hecklers - like I'd love to talk about the ridiculousness of Henry I don't think people realize they have a job and they often time get their job confused right bro okay so let's Dive in that I think I feel very

[00:58:36] Jacob: Strongly about this and I'm looking

[00:58:39] Joseph: Forward to hearing your opinion because

[00:58:41] Jacob: As a DJ you deal with a different kind of it's a different kind you deal with drawn girl coming up with a dollar bill telling you to play uh sure yeah yes

[00:58:53] Joseph: **** it's hilarious but I but you do it's super true I think that people don't see it as a suicide relationship they don't understand like the same as like a girl coming up to me with a song request saying I want to hear the song okay well if I just took if I took everybody's favorite song in this room there's 150 people if I took 150 songs everybody's favorite song and I **** mash them together it'd be garbage it'd be **** trash your opinion sucks yeah let me work I know what I'm doing dude

[00:59:27] Jacob: Literally it's like you're trying out society you're like where's society at how come and push against it I'm like reading this room I'm looking at what you're wearing from head to toe the second you walk in the door and seeing what your vibe might be like it's been my goal for the past month to make sure that this is good don't you get that you've just been thinking about it for the last three minutes I've been I've been working 24/7 everywhere I'm DJing I'm every time I get in my car I'm looking at what's hot I'm looking at the new songs I'm like liking I'm putting into this place and put it in that place I'm more into lyrics I'm literally making mashups in my head as I'm driving to the gym for my gig next **** 18th of the month like in your doing the same thing your life is being worked at all times I actually was hoping that we would get to something along these lines of conversation because I have a big love hate relationship with crowds man it's because I've done a lot of local shows

[01:00:20] Joseph: Bar shows comedy shows I performed in every aspect you can think of I've hosted concerts you've DJ the DJ the concerts I've hosted I've seen all different kinds of shows and all different kinds of people so there's different kinds of audience members and there's different kinds of people and there's different kinds of venues I could say for a fact that you do have a job as an audience member and it is not to be a part of the show in any more of a factor than to laugh if I ask you a question answer me if I ask the crowd a

[01:00:52] Jacob: Question and to me trust me the thing that you just thought of is not as good as the punchline that I've been thinking up for the past three years in practicing and you're throwing me off and now I have to make the whole thing and now I sound like a dick I know but you guys I love you and I want you to keep coming but let me work just know this thing okay and there's a big difference between performing in a bar and performing in a comedy club I call it combat comedy when you perform in a bar when you perform in a bar it's uh make me laugh when you perform at a comedy club it's make me laugh yeah I'm it ready to laugh yes I am here to laugh let's do this people in bars tend to think that their job and what comedy is my ability to react to them that is

[01:01:36] Joseph: Not what being a stand-up comedian is that's what being a person is my ability to react to what you're saying that is not what's going on here you are not on the flyer you're not on the bill it's not Joseph and audience it is Joseph Crum just let me do my thing guys I will

[01:01:52] Jacob: Talk to you guys I'll come out in the crowd trust me but just let things happen the way they're gonna happen you have no idea how nerve-racking it is when you're about to say something and somebody else says something and you have to switch and then go back to that thing and then the thing loses its power dude you can timing is everything that's

[01:02:09] Joseph: Like a typical saying but literally you could miss the beat and fall off the joke yeah and a lot of people I don't think they realize when they're seeing me perform is a lot different when they're seeing other stand-up comedians perform because I lost my ability to drive because I fell asleep in a talk about drive through very drunk one night don't do it and it makes it very hard to get to open mics and perform like I used to get that open mics perform like I used to 2016 I was at every single one but I can't do that now so a lot of times the only time I perform all year is when I get booked for a gig I am very thankful for the fact that I am a four year comedian and I get booked for gigs that's unheard of that's you don't get booked for gigs - you're ten years in usually so I'm very lucky in that sense but that means that most comedians when you see their half-hour or their 15 minutes or their hour they have been doing it every night repeatedly over and over and over again I prefer perform once a month once every

[01:03:08] Jacob: Two months - the same crowd which means I have to write a new thing every month half hour long and it has I can't say the same thing because you guys were there last month and I don't get to

[01:03:21] Joseph: Practice it at all and when you talk that's scary man yeah and now I hope you guys like think about my performances where they haven't like gone so great at blue sky or whatever and frame it in that sense that half hour speech I told that was the first time I ever told it I didn't get to practice it I didn't get to go to open mics I didn't get to I am different than other comedians I don't get that privilege dude I think that being a small town comedian or

[01:03:48] Jacob: Being a small like I always say it with DJs - like if you can impress a crowd as a DJ in a small town yeah of people who don't realize that they're even opinionated I'm not there being let's get a **** dude is it's good you learn

[01:04:00] Joseph: The diverse things and you also are forced to just you can't just beat the same horse it's like even if a joke killed for me like I would make I was looking back at my Mixcloud the other day I was like updating my am like names on there cuz like kind of fading out the Khronos name and I was like **** looking back at my old catalog for my 2015 2014 and I was like I got like you

[01:04:19] Jacob: Know 50 mixes on here whatever and like they're each an hour long is I Beach like so much **** time that I put in because a lot of them were shows a lot of them were like specific nice to the club like I all tried to treat the night as it's as a one special moment in time like in when

[01:04:35] Joseph: You listen to the mix you can kind of go back to that and I feel like as a comedian running in a small town when you're really trying to write like what's going on right now and where am i but you have to abandon those mixes huh yeah that's it once I once I release them especially online I don't even like to use the same transitions between two songs anymore earlier we were talking over the phone about Andrew Schultz and how he's kind of changed the way people are viewing comedy in the sense of less is more like I can't tell you if you come to see me and you've already seen my hour online you're not gonna laugh you're gonna actually be very mad at me it's not like music we're play the hits there's only been one or two comedians who have ever been able to do that in the history of mankind that's Andrew Dice Clay and Sam Kinison I think maybe we can't do that

[01:05:20] Jacob: So usually you're not gonna see a lot of output from stand-up comedians and once I let something out to you guys if I put something on Facebook if I put something on Instagram I don't that's it that's it

[01:05:31] Joseph: Yeah I don't get the joke that's it I don't get to replay it I don't get to tell it again yeah I don't get to use it onstage you're gonna be really mad at me if I start reciting my facebook post on stage you paid 10 20 bucks to see me you're gonna very upset and I'm not trying to fight so but yeah and I think that's the mix is the very same thing and I can't get married two things but I also have to protect certain aspects like there's bits that I have that I love that people are never gonna see until you come and see me you're never gonna see on Facebook you're never gonna see on an Instagram I will not give this up until it's on my first hour special

[01:06:06] Jacob: But Andrew Schultz he comes in and says okay that's great I'm gonna film every set I have and every bit that I can give away every one that I can give up for adoption everyone that I can abort everyone crowd piece of crowd work that I'm not married to and you know a piece of crowd work can turn into a bit he could have took that three-minute clip and took that piece of crowd work and fleshed it out and materialized it and saved it for his hour special and then people would have watched the first 20 minutes of it on Netflix and then they would have clicked off and he's a white male and he wouldn't got that much traction what he did instead was all these three minute for minute five minute in flooded Instagram and Facebook and changed the way Facebook comedians and stand-up comedians and online comedian just how you operate changed it completely I need to start doing that as

[01:06:53] Joseph: Well I'm not gonna be able to do that until I start regularly doing open mics though right I got to get out there and do open mics I have footage of me on stage but I said I don't put it out because I **** likes those jokes and I want to keep telling them but we are in a new age with social media a tik-tok age of vine age whatever you want to call it where that hour-long special a year that is not conducive to how the **** internet works anymore mhm that it next no yeah that's not gonna work but I want more every day all the time okay luckily to you **** I'm funny 24/7 but hold on let me figure out how I'm gonna put this out like it I can't just throw it out there I have to put it and present it in a pretty way people even take it serious so like Andrew Schultz was doing a lot of it cuz wasn't he on with like Charlemagne didn't they have a then they have a podcast together brilliant idiot so I was just listening to it yesterday it's good **** yeah I mean I think that he was smart and it's kind of look at what

[01:07:50] Joseph: Joe Rogan's do it does his comedian like what he started doing is like where do you get good content is from **** regular conversation yeah you just you get out there and you just keep doing stuff it sounds like you've been doing a lot of **** - just trying to like keep working keep the momentum going trying to pull it out yeah that's totally derailed everything I had going but I'm putting out an hour-long special a year at this point is like putting out a 15

[01:08:15] Jacob: Minute podcast and expecting to get something out of it mm-hmm you know what I mean like you're gonna need more I need to work way harder I need more and it's like okay I'll give it but okay so how does okay so we were talking about audience and then we're talking about just kind of the different comedy in a live setting and comedy on social media what's our audience on social media like do they have a job is there because like you can't just let it turn into a **** cesspool of comments - I think there's also an audience on the other end of I'm in the midst of trying to figure out how to monetize this and make it a thing now it's I don't think I've ever actually said this on recording and I hope nobody from any other art takes us in a bad way it's not anything I'm saying about this art it's just kind of the way comedy gets treated my jokes don't get

[01:09:06] Joseph: Treated the same way my photography fee front my photography friends photos get treated my jokes don't get treated the

[01:09:14] Jacob: Same way my friends song gets treated you know what I mean there's a different realm of support for

[01:09:21] Joseph: Jokes and for comedy than there is for other things and you kind of have to do it on your own yeah it's way it's with it's a do I personally feel this specific content or not oh this is a great joke from my friend who I want to support in this way yeah exactly like my friends don't share my stuff because they're being supportive of me they only share my stuff when I really make them laugh yeah it's so if it has nothing to do with them personally the joke its I even have to win over my **** friends

[01:09:49] Jacob: But luckily my friends love me and they're great they share my **** all the time so that's wonderful but there's just a different way that the audience when it comes to stand-up comedy in person and on the internet there are way

[01:10:01] Joseph: Different things the way your friends react I don't expect anything for my friends or family I know that's not the way anybody become successful you need a good support system yes you need people to believe in you that helps you also need people to not believe in you but you have to just let your content go onto the internet and speak for itself I think when it comes support is always a **** weird word to me I always felt weird about people supporting me just because they know me yeah I like I would always say like people like would repost my stuff and say come support Jake because he's local and I'm like what if you don't like the music yeah don't **** come out man I don't want to take your time and if you don't like this **** what if it's bad I want to say here's what I'm doing and if there's a thing that you're into like come enjoy it and let's have a wonderful time together like it and I feel like it's like you almost have to do that like well it's like hey do we need to do cocaine a self-promote on the internet

[01:10:55] Jacob: Yes like we were saying earlier like the

[01:10:57] Joseph: People who need to have it to feel something to like let their dreams out do I need to do a line to post something saying hey I'm a face I'm a stand-up comedian will you come to my show because that is my biggest downfall I'm very bad at branding myself and putting myself there and going hey guys will you support this will you share this will

[01:11:15] Jacob: You come to my show well it's dude it's the same thing it's like it's almost like believing in yourself out loud like you almost feels like you get look at like rust you know the rapper rest yeah like at me you introduced me to rust four years ago holy **** I said you I was working out at the gym and I was like send me some music and you sent me Russ oh man **** at eleven right next to you this **** it I'll do it myself on the wall I know I saw ya but a but so him like so there's not really a world that exists like in our society if you believe in yourself you can't really say it no I can't really like be about that but not has to say it yeah it's a in its

[01:11:50] Joseph: It's a it's almost like what like what

[01:11:54] Jacob: Have you really in your **** heart like you think you're neo like you're like dude I'm literally like

[01:12:00] Joseph: I think like you can't say that out loud because people are like you know it's a weird barrier that exists I'll make myself super uncomfortable right now here's something I never say out loud and I just said to her yesterday this is very narcissistic I think I have obtained a certain level of comedic genius I know that sounds crazy guys but that's what we're talking about is people are scared to say these things about themselves Jimmy they're afraid it shouldn't be **** it just say it what is it gonna hurt people are gonna think I'm crazy good talk about me talk about how crazy I am make people go look me up yeah what about me get my name out there what if somebody walks up to me in the treatments a man I think you're crazy you be like oh wow that's crazy and you can walk away like that your life is not meant by other people's **** reactions to what you say or their opinions of it but then again it's not like it's an amalgamation of what your definition of yourself is what you actually are and what exists in the

[01:12:55] Joseph: Ethio in the ethos that is not to be judged or predetermined by anybody just like what your state is like if a non-biased like entity came here like what would they think of you there's what people think of you what you think of you and then what the gods would think of you where does it all exist I don't know hey have you ever tried DMT - not my nose here I'm breaking the third wall third wallet it's the fourth wall

[01:13:27] Jacob: Actually the fourth wall yes just Joe when's the last time you changed your mind about something dude all the **** time all the time I think that is one of my biggest strengths it's such a strength isn't it yes I am and she probably thinks I'm crazy for then when I say she guys are referring to my girlfriend that's sitting behind me she probably thinks I'm crazy for this because I will get mad about something or we'll argue about something in within three seconds I'm like hey I'm sorry you were right you

[01:14:02] Joseph: Were right and she'll think I'm **** with her I'm not **** with you I really think I was wrong look I changed my mind yeah and the ability to change her mind the ability to say I don't know the ability to say I was wrong is one of the

[01:14:13] Jacob: Things that is like so punished these

[01:14:18] Joseph: Days but also super valuable as a human being when I see that in somebody I value that so much but I also understand that it's super dangerous to do that in today's day and age people will your whole entire word can be thrown away if you don't believe the same **** that you believed when you were 13 okay like hey you tweeted that Digimon is better than Pokemon you're 13 yeah it's a lake I don't think that way anymore guys like that's better I think did you month better but no it's it's the same thing like I changed my mind all the time and probably the last thing I really like had a heavy like well **** there's the coronavirus

[01:14:57] Jacob: Thing every other week every other day I'm sure that it's I need my mask I need my gloves I need to be as safe as I possibly can we need to be patriotic and do the heroic thing and stay inside and then the next day I was completely wrong you

[01:15:15] Joseph: Know but that's more of a day-to-day thing that everyone is kind of changing their mind on if I really had to pinpoint something that I'd changed my mind on where I think that this is wrong I got it boom just popped up in my

[01:15:28] Jacob: Facebook memories today two and a half years ago three years ago and maybe you remember this is when I first got on Facebook and social media three two and a half years ago I promised myself to never argue online again and I did it oh **** I've not gotten in an argument on social media and when I say argument I mean I don't even bother I don't even if I disagree with you I'll state my one thing I'll let you say your thing I'll say you know what I see so many ways in which you're right I love you goodbye and everybody is always usually like what the **** okay sure or I'll compliment someone's hair sure sorry she knows this like I'll just randomly if I feel like an argument is about to happen I'll be like dude your hair is so dope people will be super thrown off by it but I just don't want to argue three years ago that's the big thing I changed my mind on because it was draining me as a person it was making me feel bad it

[01:16:20] Joseph: Was making me angry my significant other at the times tapped on my shoulder one day while I was in the middle of a heated Facebook argument and I stretched like I snapped around and like what and in that moment I realized like oh my god

[01:16:35] Jacob: This dude from Colorado arguing with me

[01:16:38] Joseph: About whatever is affecting my mood to

[01:16:41] Jacob: Where I just snapped at my girlfriend right like even though it wasn't I wasn't matter she tapped my shoulder and I got kind of alarmed you know but still like still and 2018 New Year's Day I promised myself to never do that again and that it's pointless I'm not changing

[01:16:56] Joseph: Anybody's mind the best thing I can do

[01:16:59] Jacob: Is find ways that those people relate to me and then let them find their way to my beliefs on their own if they want to it's not my job to make anyone think anything I used to really think that part of my purpose on this earth and that's where I say I guess this is where I changed my mind I used to want to be a journalist like really bad after my cousin got killed in the jail by the corrections officers I was super social justice warrior and everything it changed my life and I'm not sjw but I was very just like this is how yes you

[01:17:29] Joseph: Know activists and um share where were

[01:17:35] Jacob: Wanting to be a journalist okay so what were we speaking of changing my mind yes I used to think it was my job to change

[01:17:42] Joseph: People's mind to like I see things that

[01:17:45] Jacob: Yes people don't see no like I am I am just and I am righteous and you guys are wrong and if I am good at speaking I always have been and if I can in any way articulate my point of view in some way that can lead someone to the light as I saw it then that is my purpose I really thought that no that's not my job my job is to relate to people my job is

[01:18:08] Jacob: To get people to relate to me and my job is to understand people and get them to understand me it's not to change their mind like see you know it's interesting as you were says you were telling me that you have that position I had a very similar position but mine was always like okay I can be the one who solves the problem for everyone maybe like people are arguing the comments okay I see your sign I see your side and I'm sitting there I'll take an hour with a Facebook comment sometimes I or I not anymore I used to a few years ago and I would be like I guess I you know I do see Janet's side but also Debbie you're being a total **** and in Clint I you know Clint I know his background so I know why he's being like this yeah like it's like I've tried to solve these problems and I try to get like one hard-hitting comment that's way too long to read and I'll give 38 likes **** and that would like reassure me but it'd be **** we love

[01:18:54] Jacob: It but then it's like what was that really solving an argument like were these people really having like a logical argument in the first place and you're spreading yourself so thin I understand and I see what you're saying Debbie but also Jim said that you're spreading yourself so thin because that was my thing was I felt like I was the only logical person are you guys not all seeing this from every perspective at all times I do that same **** yeah I think that we're very similar in that sense in a major way um

[01:19:23] Joseph: Well I'm more logical about that whole

[01:19:26] Jacob: Situation yeah okay sure I feel like I

[01:19:28] Joseph: Am sometimes the only person who's seeing it from all perspectives but at the same time I feel like you could all easily see it if I just word it the right way and then you're gonna go ding and be like okay we all are kind of right but know what a trap everyone thinks they're so right just like I do I think I am so right in the sense that we're all right when probably one of us is actually more right but it doesn't **** matter is my point we should just be relating to each other and just finding what we do then we can start to adore each other once we relate to each other then we can admire each other once we admire each other we can start to copy each other okay I **** like Jake he's funny also he does this thing really healthy over there all your **** that's setup I'm doing that when I get home bro your schedule on your wall oh yeah

[01:20:17] Joseph: I saw I had been following the last couple months I'm thrown for a loop but I'd love to talk you through it I like I like ADHD coronary thing cuz I've mastered it but I relate to you then I admire you then I copy your actions you can't just be like hey guys you should think this and then expect people to be like oh ding duh right he's right Wow

[01:20:35] Jacob: Okay so I actually had a you just help

[01:20:38] Joseph: Me explain kind of like you bro always trying to figure out ourselves like why am I the way I am so I'm always like I'm a super chameleon personality I'm like what like how because that like naturally it's like how can I fit into this and I think it's for me youngest I have three older sisters and I was probably on a bunch of people and I'm probably how do I just like fit in with whoever I'm with right here that's probably where is born of but so chameleon personality when I'm always trying to like I'm just trying to find where we level with each other like we're like so you like next time that we

[01:21:10] Jacob: Hang out you know all this information that we just shared amongst these three or you know four hours whatever that's static lovely where we can all operate yeah and so you have you start having that with like individual people like and it's almost like different sides of your personality it's like I don't know I just think that I want to advocate for

[01:21:28] Joseph: Being a chameleon kind of yeah like just like it's not you know watch when you're not being true to yourself and don't laugh it don't laugh at things and just agree to things and say yes when you don't want to say yes but I don't want you what you connect with if I had to guess I would say that's more of a natural state to be in is I am NOT one thing and I am constantly changing which eat with each person I am around when you step into a situation around new people in different situations and you don't try to find that level ground you don't try to find that static level and you just go this is what I think that's how you start wars that's how you fistfight people that's how you ruin a party that's how you have awkward meetings find that level that's the natural state that people are supposed to be and I think we're we are constantly changing with each person we're around because just like there's

[01:22:15] Joseph: That thing we're like a cell changes every time you like you serve it like any time you observe something yeah every time we're around somebody we become a different cell you become a different version of you and I think that's okay like that's important you should be getting aspects of each of that pulling it all in to make like one okay I've pulled in from all these different realms of thing and then I've reached this realm of like absolution this is cool I've reached from the people I know over here the people I know over here and I didn't step into those situations going I'm this and I'm gonna leave as this right I

[01:22:48] Jacob: Think it's a it's a good practice of

[01:22:50] Joseph: Being those people in those situations and then for me I know that something that was really good for my mental health because I would get too caught up and being what everybody else needs that being everybody is everything and like that little peep documentary I was I didn't want to call you out but I was trying to take that like it's to be from the dog but no but like trying to

[01:23:11] Jacob: Be that without kind of like resurfacing back at home without like coming back into your own brain when you're like for me like the you know the introverted like just recharging

[01:23:23] Joseph: Function of like huh yeah be everybody's everything but come back and like make sure you kind of focus and center yourself so like you like my it might be

[01:23:31] Jacob: You know if like Tony Robbins like manifestation sort of thing you don't have to like do your mantras but like when you get back home maybe you have

[01:23:39] Joseph: Some sort of like I'm a comedian and I Know Who I am and I want to be this kind of person to these kind of people I know I jumped a big gap here yeah but I'm wanting more and more every day to just be a human and a person and not a comedian you okay like um I'm finding myself bummed out that I don't have normal social media I don't have a social media where I can post my food and go dinner date with my girlfriend today or had a hard day I don't get to

[01:24:09] Jacob: Do that if you don't have something

[01:24:12] Joseph: Funny to say don't say anything at all that's what my social media is and I

[01:24:16] Jacob: Wish so badly sometimes to just be a

[01:24:20] Joseph: Person really just not have to define

[01:24:24] Jacob: Myself by what is over here on social media what is in my mind of Who I am in terms of an artists to a creator I just wish I could be

[01:24:35] Joseph: Plain-jane sometimes and just be normal and what is normal right I know that but be able to say what you want without any sort of yeah thirdly to just have what everybody else has where I don't have that expectation to be funny because I'm not a stand-up comedian I can just say things I get introduced by people as a stand-up comedian sometimes and instantly I'm like oh now I don't get to be normal like you know like **** I don't get to just sit here and be quiet no um I find myself more and more every day wishing that and I could make it I could go and do it but I don't think that I would get the same validation that I get or the same thing or I don't even think I would like it maybe I'd be like this is **** boring and I inevitably would end up posting something hilarious anyways right I don't think that I can be here's my dog

[01:25:28] Jacob: And check out my **** lawnmower I don't think I can be that guy I don't know but I want to be let me **** dope maybe one day maybe that'll be the new retirement maybe it'll be like in the future like now that you're over

[01:25:46] Joseph: This age and you've done these things in your life we're gonna give you your in on the private your on the private social media accounts you get on this and everybody is over the age of 65 I don't have to be anything other than themselves Miami knows that people naked nudes here whatever the **** we want

[01:26:00] Jacob: Thank you yeah I don't um I actually

[01:26:04] Joseph: I've never taken a nude in the sense

[01:26:07] Jacob: Yeah of lake this is if you saw that picture you'd be like that's Joseph naked have you like a full-body nude have you ever done that yeah for sure and have a lot of tattoos that would just be like yeah they're probably in my phone but they're probably less about the nude you gotta ask me and I don't have any saved so I have to go to my bathroom now at my aunt's house dude I

[01:26:30] Joseph: Was thinking about this I mean is she what if she has the only full-body mirror exactly I'm not at her house I drove over there she just has a really good mirror oh you like it I just needs bad but no I don't know I'm I've never done anything like sorry to take it to that place I was just wondering I'm weird about nudes and I'm really bad at flirting on social media uh I don't do it even when I'm single and everything like that I'm very bad at it dolly this is how she got me she just sent me a fire emoji okay and then we met each other we met each other two days later that's all you need that's all if she would have said anything more I would've been okay too much now I got elaborate on my thoughts and think yeah not good at it man yeah

[01:27:17] Jacob: What have you been doing during the quarantine in what is next in the in the

[01:27:22] Joseph: Comedian world and in your world so like it's obviously when it first hit it was it was a big like punch in the gut for just everybody doing anything it's really scary the **** to do but like what are you what's next like not what are you avidly doing everyday like what are you thinking of what where's your head at with what's next

[01:27:39] Jacob: Right out the gate kovat corona happened

[01:27:42] Joseph: Two shows got canceled my first show for my band and another comedy show that we had planned in April both got canceled so okay got a rework what am i doing now cuz I'm not allowed to be a stand-up comedian so now I'm an Internet comedian so what are we gonna do I have trust me when I say this you're gonna want to be following me on social media in the next month or two no doubt give your ass real quick we have it follow me on Instagram at crumb_guzzler see our UMB underscore

[01:28:13] Jacob: GU zzl er same spelling on Twitter but

[01:28:17] Joseph: An underscore and a crumb_guzzler underscore guzzler at crumb underscore

[01:28:23] Jacob: Guzzler underscore you get it and then Joseph creme on Facebook but I basically went into content creation mode whether or not I was gonna put it out that day or not I just started writing and recording things like a flippin maniac and I've gone viral a good amount of times in the past like half year a good like six seven eight times and so I was

[01:28:43] Joseph: Like okay I'm kind of resting on my laurels without I have a new audience I have a good whole new crop of people who are just not introduced to me what am I gonna do I have a backlog of videos on

[01:28:53] Jacob: My phone that would mail it's it's ridiculous dude it's just clips and clips that you have things that I probably will never be able to put on the internet with and be able to go back to my family and look at them straight face yes did I have a lot of material that is ready to go I have been saving up and writing so basically my plan is this I'm going on a full social media attack as soon as I have all this stuff edited and everything set up kind of like the format of one I do me and

[01:29:27] Joseph: Stay In Prison the band we're getting our YouTube set up today I'm meeting with Scottie after I leave here you guys will be able to follow all that if you check out my Instagram and my Twitter you'll be directed to there but as soon as I get done with this whole Co vid stuff I'm just going to be releasing as

[01:29:43] Jacob: Much content with as many content creators and collaborating as much as I can spending the money really making stuff for you guys it's going to look good and feel good like you're going to look at it like nice and it's gonna be hilarious because I'm hilarious but then I'm gonna be working with people like Max Payne if you guys love max everybody loves him on the Internet we're gonna be doing a lot of stuff I'm gonna be putting on my own shows we're gonna rent out venues we're gonna be doing backyard shows hopefully saving up and getting investors for the near future to own our own venue we're gonna be working on that but that's basically it is I'm really devoting my time to it like it's actually my job no more I go to work and then I sometimes post

[01:30:23] Joseph: Funny stuff after my shift I am actively working hard every day to put out content like I've never done before I'm really trying to make it look professional do it in a way that is gonna shine back on me in a nice way and that people will want to share and it'll look good something to make me proud of at least two because I've gone viral I've done this before it's not anything I haven't done I've I know how to make my stuff pop and everything but it's never really been anything I loved and the comedy that I'm making right now is comedy that I **** love I enjoy making it and I enjoy watching it pleased to be I'm just flushing myself into it like I've never flushed into it before I'm this is my this is what I'm gonna do with my life there's no other options that's basically it you'll be able to follow me on Twitter Instagram YouTube all that good shed and it's just

[01:31:11] Jacob: Going to be flooding okay I do as much as I possibly can I think that's amazing all I can do really

[01:31:18] Joseph: Yeah and then go into the stand-up shows and we'll be putting shows like I always have billed on probably once a month in town and then I'll be going to open mics all the time and people will be able to see me doing that and all that **** yeah is that is there a constant open mic in our area in Ellis County no never there's not an open mic anybody listening if you've ever had an urge to open up little place or maybe go to a place and say hey I want to be the organizer of these things and I'm gonna do it right that'd be great and reach out to us we're thinking about setting up one the problem is with a small town is um making it sustainable to where you have new people coming in every month and new comedians coming in every month so it most open mics are once a week

[01:32:00] Jacob: Ours would probably be by monthly or

[01:32:02] Joseph: Monthly but we're looking to set that up too me and Andy Kiggins have been talking about that last time we did a show I'm setting up a more monthly regular thing you should get him on the show eventually - have you already well so technically we recorded my first five episodes of this podcast I **** deleted that's like that it was it was my main **** bro it was some it was some I saved

[01:32:25] Jacob: Them sloppily on to my desktop in a folder and then when I rerecorded some more I just replaced the same files cuz it was like file zero one it was like do you want to replace the files there it is this I'm like of course I do and I just deleted them like some just dorky **** to do did you but hey Andy

[01:32:41] Joseph: What did you have like an actual like

[01:32:44] Jacob: Outward burst of anger was it visible or were you just like cuz I'm the type of person I'm gonna be honest I don't have I don't get you can like have sex with

[01:32:55] Joseph: Like my mom I'm sorry mom

[01:32:58] Jacob: Or like slap me in the face not that guy that's cool but like all like accidentally like my lighter won't work

[01:33:06] Joseph: And I will freak out did you have like an actual outburst of I don't know I mean I'm trying to think back of like how my reactions are when I'm just by myself like because I'm definitely not an aggressive person I don't like freak out and don't act like crazy but sometimes I will be overly dramatic as **** like I am no like my hands are on my head and I'm no see the whole room goes yeah so I often question like I don't know if I'm questioning God or just the ethos but when something happens to me I am a face to the sky why me person yeah are you serious why me what have I done to you I don't

[01:33:42] Jacob: Know it's always you is you know to me it is I'm doing that isackson thing but I know it's there's a mirror I'm looking at that's like you **** you know you did it like because it's always **** that you know you should have done a little bit better like just throwing files on my like I'm so excited to start this podcast in the first five episodes I just named ste - 0 1 through 5 God you dick but so anyway yeah that was our long rant but Andy was on this yeah and I'm gonna get him back in here so Andy Kagan's is an event promoter he's like been doing his thing just learning as he goes the same way that we are we've worked a lot of shows together he's a smart dude he's less often yeah we've listed like he's the one who got me booked with Cheney jingyang twins hey Jones afro man I'm just rattled so I found cool a few other people yeah a lot of cool shows but dude the like yeah you know I haven't caught up with him in a while so as soon as I'm trying to manage

[01:34:42] Joseph: With a coronavirus like how many people

[01:34:45] Jacob: That have over like how to keep the distance how to be respectful how to you know my mom lives with me upstairs I'm not trying to murder her yeah you know because that's the thing is like is what what a lot it's on a lot of our minds I feel like but we're not really allowed to talk about it's like as a young healing your mom well okay yes Killer Moth Keep Calm but as young so we have kind of

[01:35:10] Joseph: Cocky like I know I'm a pretty **** healthy **** I'm yeah I like supplements I workout like all these things I'm like I'm gonna be fine if I get it I feel pretty cocky about that but like there's also so much part of me that's like while my mom lives with me

[01:35:22] Jacob: Yeah if I did get it she's dead or you know she might not be she's probably fine but she is older did you see the Michael yo episode I don't Rogan yeah bro his mom got it and beat it his mom yeah he's a young man so you know

[01:35:36] Joseph: But the thing is dude it's so what deficiency did you hear about did you listen to that son that's what we get it from the son typically but this is 70% of people in

[01:35:50] Jacob: America are vitamin D or not that vitamin D insufficient and then 30% of people are too vitamin D deficient which means like they **** need it so everybody go on Amazon right now thorn it's $15 th o R and E you can get 5,000 vitamin D you can get a month supply of honey for $15 or $12 or something go on Amazon to it I'm fine it's like I don't know I feel better even though yes I it all makes me feel better all jokes aside be as safe as you possibly can but someone like me with an immune system like I have I have done some wild stuff I have units dude I don't even want us I can't say in front of everybody do I know what you could tell me about is this time when I saw you got hit by a **** van remember that cool did I or did I not land on my **** feet I can

[01:36:47] Joseph: You okay let's uh we're getting up here in time I think we could price send it off around here but I just love to end on you tell the Jake saw me got ran over when I was a kid okay so yeah I got kicked out of it's gonna be a short story but let me give just some kind of backdrop to how cool we were when we were younger because we were a very cool young man in middle school so I got kicked out of my middle school because they wouldn't let me call my mom so I went on a rampage through the middle school tearing out all the phones from each classroom as I went through the school that got me kicked out I went to Huntington middle school and I met this young man sitting right across from us now so we become friends we start skating together to go into eighth grade and everything we're full 2006 skinny as

[01:37:33] Jacob: Jeans as you can imagine at a Michael Locke haircut yes he sure did My Chemical Romance t-shirts in full effect random parts of our shirts just cut off and wrapped around our ankles and arms for no reason you know eyeliner a lot a lot a lot and so we're skating one day full --mode up and there's this store that's kind of like it kind of reminds me of a very New York type feel where the store is like on a triangle do you know what I mean like that like you've seen buildings in New York that are like this way or that way yeah did that triangle building yeah it's a store that's like that and you go down one side of and there's an embankment that goes into the street I'm drinking the lovely beverage vault at the time I don't know if you guys remember $0.89 vaults very good I'm drinking this like it's a like it's a mountain Dew commercial I have my head tilted back and I'm skating down the embankment like it's just delicious and I looked down and wouldn't you know a big red truck there's this lady going about 30 25 miles an hour in an SUV hits

[01:38:35] Jacob: Me perfectly on the corner right where like I looked like probably like a hood ornament I was just like hugging the

[01:38:42] Joseph: Front of her bumper and it popped me into the air I did this weird 360 somehow my feet ended up in the wheel well of the tire I feel like and I landed and I landed on my feet I look up Jake and gunner and is it Seth yeah I look up at Jake and gunner and Seth and they all have like food falling out of their mouths like they're each in a different state of shock one of them was crying in the fetal position I feel like it was it was scary not really but they were shocked and I look up and I'm just laughing that was I was I didn't believe landed it bro I hit my car and landed it 10 feet into the air I did a little flip and I landed on my feet and I looked up at them and I just started cracking up and that pretty much explains what my teenage years were like in a nutshell just me getting hit by cars landing on my feet and going it

[01:39:32] Jacob: Takes another sip of alt and then I didn't go to the hospital we didn't call the cops we didn't call the ambulance I actually went skateboarding later that day and I continued my journey I well we had a weird life I mean years was way more savage than mine in different ways but like it was weird like what we did all time what were you saying you were saying earlier about sometimes like you were cool one of the things that makes me feel great to this day is when I still run into people from when we were kids and they were like dude you were so cool oh my god I was that bad news bear kid like who life was a mess I'm glad you enjoyed his smoking cigarettes like in the lunchroom and just being bad that was me and it was great and I don't regret a second of it was awesome but to this day people like you were cool and I'm like I was traumatized I was really hurting inside

[01:40:23] Joseph: Good well Joseph Crum I'm super glad that you came over I appreciate it out of it this was fun dude yeah great times we could do this again I'm glad that you came in here like I texted you I was like bro I think I'm gonna mention like I've been uptight I just want to talk about where the **** were actually at I don't want to pretend the coronavirus isn't real surprisingly I feel like we were more deeper than I thought we were gonna be because normally there we could get there this is the most serious I've been for an extended period of time in a long time I am normally all gay butts and poop jokes so well you're in you're an

[01:40:58] Jacob: Intellectual like I'm not putting that on you like you have to show up to be one you know **** comedian I like whenever I go on about stuff I'll be talking about the meaning of life and I'll tell people about Buddhism and then I'll be like I'm just a **** DJ though like you so you can go there and then I'm just a comedian it's your job to see what people feel and it is my job to see I think with comedians and DJs if

[01:41:21] Joseph: That makes any sense yeah it's just my job to look around at things and be like what the **** yeah we're always we're always looking at situations as a whole where I was looking at things on a linear longer than just now timeline

[01:41:34] Jacob: We're looking at not just our perspectives but the whole rooms perspectives it's a different way of being than a lot of people I have a challenge to people because I know that a lot of these episodes squirt circle around mental wellness and just you know how can you help yourself the next time like you feel like you're very certain about something even if you don't feel like you can genuinely get there in your heart try to come full circle and go to

[01:41:58] Joseph: The other side of it and see if you can relate to those people just see like I think this is this and that's the way it is just talk yourself into a circle and see if you can find how they got to that thinking like oh that's why you have that belief on that thing just see if you can do it and if not whatever cool I oftentimes don't people but if you can just see that's

[01:42:18] Jacob: All I'm saying you're really a man I appreciate you coming on here I appreciate talking to me good I died

[01:42:25] Joseph: Three weeks later I'd be so all right

[01:42:27] Jacob: Man one more time give him all your ass

[01:42:30] Joseph: Instagram it's gonna be at Crum does at underscore crumb_guzzler see our um be

[01:42:36] Jacob: Underscore guzzler and same thing on Twitter but underscore at the end at under scrum underscore guzzler underscore you guys will get it hey and you'll be seeing some more Joseph Crumb around town if you are from the area if you're one of those listeners and be on the lookout for Stay In Prison we're gonna be releasing a lot of music and you guys will be able to see us at your local coffee shop or a punk rock bar in town We're looking forward to all right listen here drink some **** water man love you