062 with Abrielle Dunn - Aspiring Towards Inspiration, Creating Connection and Smiling Back At Life

[00:00:06] Intro: Hello and welcome to the Junkyard Love Podcast At what age do we learn how to have Better conversations At what age do we learn to have better conversations with ourselves Welcome to the Junkyard Love Podcast it is me your host Courage the Cowardly Dog i'm happy You're here today before we get rocking and rolling i've got a recommendation for you in the form of a book i'm reading this one on audible um i'm not even done with it yet but it's already been so profound it's already taught me so much it's already just had so many revelatory moments where i'm just saying What no way if you believe that a book has the power to change your life this is the one it's called Breathe by James Nestor breathe the new science of a lost art Check out his podcast interviews check him out online if you want like just a little bit of tidbits of what you're getting into with this book but just let me say if you suffer from sleep apnea or any sort of breathing Problems snoring any of these things this is your answer definitely check this book out

[00:01:21] Jacob: Breathe by James Nestor n-e-s-t-o-r I'm reading it now it's fantastic i might just go on talking about it multiple more times on this podcast i think it's going to be a huge answer to a lot of people's different problems throughout the world so breathe James Nestor check it out today We've got my friend Abrielle Dunn on the Podcast can't wait for you guys to meet her here we go let's get rocking and rolling I am i am recording on my end um We can have just kind of a soft start i figured i can just say Welcome to the Junkyard Love Podcast i'm here with Abrielle Dunn

[00:02:09] Abrielle: That's me

[00:02:09] Jacob: Do you go by is haley your Middle name i know your model page is Abrielle Hayley

[00:02:12] Abrielle: That's just because um i think Abrielle Dunn has a very strong finish to a name I don't know so i feel like Abrielle Hayley sounds a little bit more majestic Abrielle sounds like that's my business name i actually feel that i feel like Abrielle Hayley is kind of the um the more feminine side of yourself in a Way yeah plus that account is sort of um you Know it's not really it's not my personal stuff it's not i just post very rarely on that i've only just recently started posting so um you don't really get an accurate Picture of me so it's kind of who i want you to see and so everybody kind of sounds like nice and relaxed and that's not really who i

[00:03:03] Jacob: There was a am tinkle in your eye when you said that um Yeah i isn't it interesting how With social media it's such a strange thing we talk about social media a lot and just kind of it's our fa its effects on who we are and what we do and on society and all that I think it's interesting because i have a i have a separate poetry account That is oh i follow it yeah it's It's in my freeness there like i feel my My vulnerability can be even more vulnerable and more open like whereas my jacobfromtheinternet account is i try to be as authentic as possible but there is a little bit of boxing because there's a brand you're trying to communicate right even if your brand is authentic i don't know do you ever feel a different poll like say you're posting to your you know to your personal account that doesn't have as many followers like for your friends is to be authentic here's what i'm really doing and then your modeling account

[00:03:30] Jacob: Do you feel different i actually on my personal account i've actually illuminated some followers and so i think i'm down to like 60 people like i have nobody on there i it's And it i purely feel like oh i can just post whatever colors on my feed i want i can post whatever caption i want or no caption or i can just post whatever i want and then on my other account i Everybody and their mother that i know sees it so literally like my friends and their moms follow me so it's i my Goal in my center and i posted it My last post said this is my center and it's a picture of me going like that um that's kind of like the center of my energy where i just feel like everything is light and everything is good and it's just relaxed and like Glowing i like white i like all that Kind of stuff like it's just pure good and

[00:04:56] Abrielle: That's kind of like my brand and the Message i like to portray and the energy i like to give out and just in my general life like i try and be that energy and that happiness and the Positivity and just the good vibes and you know everyone Obviously isn't that way but that's kind of like my brand that's what i try and put i was just nice at ease let's breathe that kind of thing i love that do you what tell me more about your brand like when you think of my brand or what i'm trying to communicate um does that does that change your actions day-to-day is it something that like motivates you trying to represent a brand and uh It's not that i'm trying to represent a brand it's that i've aligned my brand with who i feel like i am and so my brand is Mostly my identity and I try and keep that in all things so Like i am very authentic i'm very vulnerable i like to i analyze my own thoughts so

[00:05:55] Abrielle: I'm happy to share my thoughts with other people i like to you know talk about my struggles and how i've gone through things how i figured them out and then how like what the outcome was and how i came out on top and um i value authenticity because

[00:06:10] Jacob: It just makes you feel good and i feel like that's just like the right type of energy that people should have and i feel like if more people were authentic with their own feelings i know a lot of people who um think that they feel one a certain way but maybe they haven't thought about it enough and um It's very like sorry i just got Distracted um the way i feel about myself is the way i Put myself into other things and so In everything that i do i'm like representing that brand but it's just who i am i'm never gonna represent another Version of myself i always have the same me

[00:06:53] Abrielle: Like there's no difference when i talk to children you know i don't curse but i'm the same i talk to them like they're a person i talk to them like they're an adult if i'm talking to you know anyone i work with i'm the same like i'm me when i'm talking to my boyfriend i'm me when i'm talking to my parents i talk to my parents just like i would talk to anybody like i don't have any secrets i don't hide anything and that just like brings that like glow About me that's what i that's where i try and do that and so in My work like i'm constantly trying to Be my best and be on top and i don't give excuses because that's just hiding and i'm always trying to just be

[00:07:34] Abrielle: So authentic and then i've started my own llc and so i do my own video work and i talk to my own people for that and even in that like i put my best work out i put my best foot forward i'm just always trying to like i'm passionate about your project i'm passionate about what you're doing you're passionate about working with me and like this is just a passion project that we're both doing and like i it's the creativity that's around And everything just makes me feel like Have you ever seen um harry potter And the chamber of secrets of course so When he stabs the diary and tom riddle like explodes with light that's what i feel like on a daily basis i feel like i'm just like exploding with light i'm riddle exploding with light yeah but i'm not dying yeah I like that do you uh what comes to mind Is uh this term i forgot who said it but being in right relationship with yourself and i feel like as a as a creator like Any content or any sort of branding or

[00:08:35] Abrielle: Any sort of venture that you're going on when you can be in right relationship with yourself you have this circle of like self Reaffirmation of like oh this is what i'm supposed to be doing this feels just right this is i'm not strangling this to get it to how i need to go i'm just doing my thing you talked about your brand and your llc tell me more about that i kind of want to i want to make sure everybody knows all the cool stuff you do i feel like you Have your hands my llc is kind of on the Dl but not purposefully it's just that Um number one i don't have a lot of time And so i'm really just working very slowly On it getting its legs and things like that but what it is it's what i do It's creative and digital media and design and production and things like that but it's less of what you and i do the events and it's More of just the digital side the videos The um marketing material the Graphic design things like that um And i want to specify uh that i've

[00:09:43] Jacob: Learned the difference between a graphic artist and a graphic designer And i am a graphic designer i Can design assets i'm not great at like

[00:09:55] Abrielle: Making my own assets i'm not an illustrator i'm not an artist i'm not any kind of like that but if you tell me like here are the things that we have can you put them into a design and make it look nice yes that's my background i've done a lot of newspaper design layout design I've won awards for my newspaper layout designs i've just i've always been doing digital Design and then as i got into video editing That's my flow state video editing is Where i'm like oh my god what time is it Five hours i've gone past i haven't eaten i haven't moved i haven't done anything wow like and my video looks great yeah getting into the zone yeah that's Where i am so um with my llc I am doing that because that's what

[00:10:42] Abrielle: Makes me happy those are the types of i hope to move from me doing the projects to managing others doing the projects to help me grow and get more clients and things like that um but right now that's what i love to do so that's what i'm focusing on and i've chosen my niche market to be Motivational speakers because that's you know something that We are both familiar with and something that so the llc is Called Ellevate Media and it's spelled e-l-o-e like my name elevate um i added two l's and some people think It's wrong but it's not wrong i like it i like it thank you um so The point of it i want to elevate Designs and it's a little cliche with i've looked up a lot of companies called elevate and it's all the same thing like we're trying to lift we're trying to elevate we're trying to whatever you're doing we're going to make it that much better whatever so i'm on that train of i want to elevate everything in there you're doing but I think it aligns with my personal

[00:11:43] Abrielle: Goal in life to just which i don't know yet Obviously i don't know my full potential but i just feel like i'm supposed to spread all of this energy like i feel like i'm just full of it and exploding with it and i want people to have it there's just it has come from when i was younger that I'm was always that person that you could come to and i would just send you novels of advice and how to help you and i'm here for you and all of these kinds of things and i was always that person and i still am that person and i just i'm the type of person like when anyone needs help i will drive however many hours to go help them if they need it like i'm just like i'll drop everything and go like i just want to help i just want to spread good stuff and so i found that a way to spread

[00:12:31] Abrielle: There are people who are putting out good messages but they're not being heard because they either don't have good enough videos they're not making videos they're not putting themselves out there whatever and so i want to help people who are Putting positive messages out get their messages heard and so that's Kind of where i am i've been working with someone who He works in like business strategy and He just had an event called the uprising and so he had Ellevate Media produce his uprising videos and so that was pretty cool and we had a great relationship so i'm building that relationship there um and it's just been it's been really fun to build my own llc and figure out what i Want to do with it but it's also you know it's kind of scary but i don't Want to get into the I don't want to paralyze myself by how Many options there are and how many people i'm sure are doing the same things that i'm doing right because there are so many opportunities and i think there's enough for everybody and I'm a huge proponent of failing

[00:13:37] Abrielle: Forward so if i continue to invest my time and Nothing happens or nothing comes of it or um you know i make it i make a business Relationship and it turns out poorly or You know anything happens like i'm going to learn from that experience and keep moving forward and everything i've been doing with the company so far has been awesome so i'm just happy to do that and I'm happy to see it grow and i'm happy to hopefully get more people who you know are into the motivational speaking that need video services you know the guy that i ended up with um he was just thinking

[00:14:14] Abrielle: He was telling me he was just thinking about how he didn't have anybody to produce videos for him and he wanted to do video projects and i was in his inbox that day being like hey do you need any video projects so i'm putting myself out there i'm just contacting random motivational speakers on YouTube that i'm you know like doing cold emails but it's me personally emailing being like hey i saw your stuff i really like the message you're putting out and i work with you so yeah i love that's actually cool to hear i feel like we've briefly touched on this but i didn't know is this in depth i'm super excited for you that's awesome do you find because so the work we do we both um We've worked together on a lot of student organizations where there is a lot of motivational speakers keynote speakers um so we've both seen quite a few Um it's something it's part of the job that for me um especially when we're working live

[00:15:06] Abrielle: For audio for so when i'm working audio that's the time when i get to like all right well he's talking i'm good so i get to absorb it and i value that honestly in my job like i really enjoy listening to motivational speakers um i Do awesome yeah like so we've seen a lot over

[00:15:25] Jacob: The years what it when you think of motivational speakers or when you Even the feeling that you feel that you Are trying to like now that you have you have a company going forward you're like the feeling that i've felt within me when i hear motivational speakers i want to i wish that on other people uh what Is that feeling too because i'm always trying to pick up a couple extra people like people who are like well the motivational tony robbins thing isn't really my style But i think that everybody values from these um just corners of human Communication and speech especially when someone's up on a stage and they're telling you their authentic story here's how i conquered this part of my life here's how i deal with these parts of my human emotions and here's how you can too I think that when people receive Something they can receive it as many Times as they do in their life but it takes that one time that they receive it correctly that it really resonates with them and so

[00:16:29] Jacob: I think what you're mentioning about the tony robbins thing i also i feel that like i'm not a fan of tony robbins but i'm a fan of motivational speakers and people who speak like him i'm just he just doesn't do it for me You know what i mean and so i think it's important For people to be exposed to higher Levels of thinking people who were lower and have gotten higher because of whatever they've gone through and whatever things they've overcome because i think a lot of people Don't think that it's possible to Overcome something or they don't even it's not that they don't think it's possible they just don't it's not in their realm of thinking at all and so like i know people who Um i won't name any names but uh someone That's really close to me or close to me um she just kind of Lives her life and works a minimum wage Job and doesn't really care and her boyfriend's a minimum wage job too and they live in like a nice apartment That's You know whatever but they're they just

[00:17:37] Abrielle: That's it like they are fine with that and she works at like plato's closet or something and it's just that's what she's just gonna do and i Don't i want more for her and i want her to See that there is more out there and i feel like some people just their Life is so their life that they just can't imagine anything outside of it and my message every day to anyone i Talk to is that you can wake up every day and do it differently and like you can wake up and quit your Job if you want to you can quit your job and then find a new one like you can quit your job lose your apartment and you have a completely different life i've had in my life i've moved out of an Apartment in one day and i had nowhere to go and i Was i put stuff into storage units and i was Sleeping on friends couches and um then i moved into a friend's room and

[00:18:34] Abrielle: Then i moved into a house i found on craigslist and then i moved back into a friend's room and then i lived at home and then i Um finally found an apartment and it was just you know it's crazy but that's what i made my life because i was uncomfortable with what it was and i feel like people are So comfortable in what they're doing that they don't reach for more and i feel like listening to motivational speakers or just having access to them and knowing they exist and hearing their messages that's just so important and that's what that's why i'm always that's what i'm Always trying to get people to do and so your question of what do i want People to feel inspired like i want i want them to feel inspired i want them to know that there's more i want them to know that Their way of doing things is not the only way there's there are so many things in life that you've been taught that aren't the only way to do things you know like um my mom when she cooks she always cuts

[00:19:34] Jacob: The fat off meat and i started cooking and keeping or the fat in the skin I started cooking and keeping the skin on me and i'm like this is delicious why would you do anything differently like so just there are just little things everywhere in every aspect of your life that can be done differently that you've been taught are the way to do things and then you do them differently and you're like this is so much better why wouldn't i have done that before right yeah Do you do you Do you feel that because i Share some of those sentiments i'm always um i guess i haven't always Been this way but i do i think naturally try to See the good in people to put it simply like it's um like we you know talking about you know your friends you're mentioning it's like it's not that you know their life is terrible or they're messing it up or anything it's just like dude i know you and i know you're amazing so i want you to tap into that like because for me it's a lot of this hey

[00:20:30] Jacob: Like don't you remember we're gonna die one day like you should really try to live a self-actualized life um i think a lot a lot of people like us See we just see the best in people Or we the parts that we do Connect with in people that are that we love about them we want the rest of the world to meet them on that level and so when you kind of kind of wake up every day or um just add that momentum to Your life of what can i do today that's Incredible like how can i feed the good wolf in me rather than the wolf who just wants to be comfortable like because today what i can do i can wake up and i can um just do the bare minimum like the i okay my bills are paid my you know i didn't fight with my neighbor i you know i took care of my business But um i didn't go the extra mile i didn't push myself i didn't think about my future i didn't think about what could i do for 10 minutes a day for

[00:21:30] Jacob: The next 10 years that will add up to something incredible that i'm going to be very proud of Yeah and i yeah i think tapping into that and just seeing that in people shines through i feel like and you definitely have an ability to do it because we've been friends for a while um and i feel like we'll get into these long text streams where i feel more confident in myself Afterwards we'll kind of empower each other you know i always like to say easily inspired I love to be inspired and sometimes We're easily down on ourselves especially as creatives we're always comparing ourselves we're talking about social media sometimes we feel a little confined by our brand or what we want to do but uh when someone can believe in you or insert that inspiration into your life it's kind of like cool yeah i'm going to lean more into that so yeah i feel like you would be good I mean just as like a manager spot you Know creative director you're

[00:22:27] Jacob: You're good at understanding people where they're at and you can connect with that version of them really well you've always been really good at that where did you go ahead i think i'm very emotionally Intelligent about myself i spend a lot of time Studying myself analyzing my thoughts why did i think about thinking that thought you know i just i get very into it and So i understand where i'm coming from and i understand my creative struggles and so it's i also um when i was in school i studied Video games and i was the producer and to be the Producer just to major in video games you have to Enter into every single part every role so i've done coding i've Done illustration i've done the um What is it game design level design Um i've done ui design i've done You know the story design coming up with the narrative just i've done every role in video games and so as once i got to The producer status doing all the documentation and managing my team and i managed a big team of 16 to i

[00:23:41] Jacob: Think at most i had like 20-ish people um I had to understand what they were going through and if i was assigning them deadlines what i was asking of them like i if i Was to say i need you to have this feature done tomorrow i need to know that i'm asking them to do 48 hours of work in 24 hours And so i'm very conscious of that in my Job and the work that we do like i'm a creative person i know i kind

[00:24:11] Abrielle: Of i try to wrap my head around what everyone is doing and so whether it's lighting design and i know someone needs to sit down and plug in their console and figure out how the lights are going to do their thing and go through the script and find those moments and then pick the colors and then show them to the producer and then have to fix them and then have to go back and go through the script and fix all the parts that had to be fixed or whatever i know that those things take time so when i'm asking someone to do something and they're frustrated i have to think you know what have i asked them to do and i have to be understanding because i feel like that's that sort of pressure is um i think Comes from an old way of thinking in an old way of managing and i don't think asking the impossible of People is nice and whether or not it's nice you Know like it gets the job done but i also you know it's important that you keep people and you can you can keep people by

[00:25:08] Abrielle: Treating them nicely like you know if i were to just make sure everyone was doing their jobs Happily like that doesn't even necessarily keep people it's making sure that they feel valued and so that's why i'm constantly like whether you're doing your job or not like i want to know why what makes you so good or why are you struggling and if you know there are people who um Haven't met deadlines like what's going on and why and you know then i find out they just got out of the hospital and i'm like Okay and they're like no but i'll have it to you tonight and i'm like damn this person is a trooper you know and so i just i My energy flows into my work And so when i connect with another Person i feel like i connect with their energy and i have to understand them like My only way for understanding people is Trying to learn i have to become emotionally intelligent about them and so in all my relationships and

[00:26:11] Abrielle: And every person that i know i know i can go to people for certain things because i become emotionally intelligent about who they are and how they'll react to certain situations and so i try and test the waters a little bit sometimes where i'll text something that maybe i wouldn't have texted them before or i'll say something that i wouldn't have said before and i'll see how they react and if they don't react well then that's just not something i talk to talk about that with that person but you know sometimes i react really well and i'm like okay you're a great source for this type of thing and so like i know i can go to you for specific things and you'll always come back with good feedback and good thoughts and good advice and things like that so um that's kind of how I learned to be that way but that just Comes naturally my name Abrielle means mother of all Things oh does it i didn't know that yeah that's awesome that's like the coolest that's the best name ever then

[00:27:07] Abrielle: Yeah so like i said i feel like i'm exploding with energy like i feel like my energy is everywhere and i am in everything and I it just when i am talking to people i'm Experiencing them and i'm trying to i'm Working on being more present and so i had a problem with it when i Was you know just getting out of college and I was like i have a job i'm in school i got this to do i got this to do like yeah give me a second i just have to do this thing and hold on give me a second and Okay i'm with you but i gotta rush and i gotta do this thing and i'm working on compartmentalizing and not necessarily slowing down but You know like i'm with you today from this time to this time and between that window i'm all with you Like there's my house yeah and like i Know i have other things to do and i know um before i was with you i was doing something else but all of the things surrounding that and everything in my day is just compartmentalized like i'm

[00:28:09] Abrielle: Here so the importance of fighting You know things like distraction it comes up so when you because this is something that I used to struggle with too is um you know like i would identify someone with adhd and so it's like as i'm talking with someone i'm just like pay attention pay attention keep listening okay what'd they just say think about that no don't think about that like you're just coaching yourself through this being present but for me it's something that i've learned you know certainly with meditation and practice and the podcast and just all these different things that i've done um now i'm good at being present i'm good at being here and tentative and i'm not thinking of um All these other things so there it almost becomes a skill of yes i

[00:28:52] Abrielle: Know that i have these other things going on but i'm here so i'm going to turn those off because thinking about those while i'm trying to do this is not helpful actually i can't fully be here and i think that being present with someone there's something about you know even through even through video even through text even through phone calls there's something that we can intuitively feel like okay this person is here listening to me this person is sharing this space with me they're really um listening to that part within myself that i want to be listened to it's connections that Human connection that we are built off of biologically you know i Feel like even through a screen it doesn't matter like i lose sight of it being through a screen i feel like i'm talking to you it doesn't it doesn't feel weird it doesn't feel whatever and i also feel that in On the phone you know i don't live with my family my brother lives in gainesville my parents live in west palm beach and um i call my parents and then we phoned

[00:29:51] Abrielle: In my brother and then i put my phone down and i start making breakfast and we're all just hanging out in the kitchen together you know like it's i don't i don't see The barrier of technology i'm happy to have it but um you know like it facilitates so much It's obviously detrimental in some ways which we've talked about but i I love it and so i don't it's that human Connection that's important and that's why you know i watch so many podcasts and things like that i just want human connection and i just i love Learning and growing myself and finding new ways to Build and spread my energy and listening to other people talk helps

[00:30:32] Jacob: Me do that and hearing other people and talking to other people just satisfies that connection so 100 Do you think that I feel like the ability to do that and Just kind of what um not just social media but our ability to connect in different ways like this is i mean it's still pretty new just as humanity of like what we're able to do uh we talk A lot about kind of like the future and um you know what technology has effects on us and that sort of thing that's always super fun to get into with you um Do you think that like right now I mean there's a lot we're losing out on in the world you know i think of kids in school and stuff and they're I mean they're adjusting to this whole new thing and there's a lot of charisma and interaction with other Humans that like they're probably getting worse at you know like we're more in our homes but there is this there is this you know i Think of i just had um trevor may on last week And just the fluidity of his kind of

[00:31:34] Jacob: Conscious thought because he's a game streamer like he's just being himself he's just with himself and he's and he's you know there's young kids there's older guys who are just laughing along enjoying his company just this stream of thought and he's not really self-policing himself he's not trying to present himself in any way it's this openness i don't know what Do you think about the I guess the future uh of us as humans As if we continue down this road because i feel like when we're more open to each other when we're more susceptible to looking for what's true In one another and allowing each other the space to just feel out what we're going through and just have kind of this fluid stream of consciousness this This mindsync is what i what i said a couple days ago Yeah so i think it varies and so what You mentioned about kids in school they're definitely going to be different because i think this stuff is great but Nothing beats being in person because Even in nature you literally give off Pheromones and chemicals and Like you are emitting things and whether

[00:32:47] Jacob: There are some people who want to talk about energy is not real and i get that and i'm not i'm not a huge energy buff i don't want to be like i feel your core near my core like i'm Not like that i'm not there but no offense to anyone That is there but my core is offended i just Like i feel people And so when you're with someone you can Feel them if you say something wrong you can feel Tension it does it's not necessarily Eliminated in these types of um formats Even when you're on the phone you know like you can say something wrong and then you hear silence and they're like what Do you mean and like you can feel like oh i didn't i'm sorry i didn't mean to say it like that or you can you can feel that there's tension but when you're with someone Even like they're in the way their entire body moves like you literally it's electricity you just feel It's in the air you feel differently and so i think That if we continue down this path of

[00:33:52] Jacob: Only being online and things like that not good for us it's just we don't get that electricity And then in the sense of kids in school I actually took on a babysitting job um Babysitting kids who were doing online school and so i got to see what they were doing And see and it was really cool i got to look at a second grader and a fourth grader and so what the fourth grader was having to do was kind of more normal school stuff like they're they've already been in school so they understand like okay you have math homework do your math homework and then the difference was like you have to take a picture of your math homework and then send the picture and so they would teach you how to do those kinds of things the second grader was learning how to Use his computer and so in order to like they would Decorate their notebook in class they the teacher gave them a

[00:34:47] Jacob: Powerpoint and it was a blank slide with a like a blank notebook a picture of a notebook on it and then the other slides had stickers that you would copy and paste to put on the blank notebook and it taught them to use copy and paste In powerpoint and move things around and scale and flip and insert an image and search to find an Image and it was a very interesting way to teach a kid how to use a computer and he thought he was just designing a notebook and so i think like those things are Very cool but also you know like he's in this Meeting with all of his classmates and he's got his headphones on and he's just like sitting there like this and i'm like what are you doing he's like all the teachers talking i'm like yeah you're supposed to be paying attention he's like oh she can't see me So it just you know it's you know you'd Be in class and you start to put your head down and your teacher's like no yeah i would always be pulling out my

[00:35:50] Jacob: Tech decks and fingerboarding and they'd always try to take those away it's funny because as i get older if i'm genuinely interested in the subject and it's something that i've committed to listening and wanting to learn um this is just in line with kind of learning how you learn i suppose and we're all kind of adjusting especially young people right now adjusting to different ways of learning um now as an adult i can i'll tech deck And i'll put headphones on something i'm interested in and it would be kind of like my leg twitch like i'll be playing with this As i'm maybe i'll pick up a pen and Paper and take some notes but i feel like i'm actually listening because this is a mindless little thing i can be doing a little leg twitch um but yeah it's kind of like The fidget spinners i feel like we all have especially in the age of technology there's some form of you know adhd attention span um not Problems but changes you know our Ability to pay attention and pay attention to more things is increasing and decreasing in you know

[00:36:51] Jacob: Maybe not so great ways so we're all adjusting to that i like what you said about that people learn how they learn um I definitely think that's a thing that kids need to learn and i experience that in watching all this virtual schooling is you know the teacher would say like you need to study your flash cards and the kids like i hate flash cards and why do i have to do flash cards and it's like it's not that you have to do flashcards it's that they're teaching you a way to study you don't have to study that way it might just be better for you to if you're a photographic memory you just look at the page and you're good it might be better for you to write them down on page and rewrite and rewrite into repetition it might be better for you to say them out loud or it might be better for you to have a flash card and go through it so i think it's important To learn how you learn but also the Virtual learning and the virtual aspect

[00:37:48] Jacob: Of all this stuff like nothing beats i know that with business meetings and stuff nothing beats getting together with your Team and you know like hashing something out in person the zoom is great and it's Much better than like being on the phone or just doing it through email for sure but it's just So different in person you know like It's just not something that we even and i don't necessarily know what it is but you know what i feel like on a zoom meeting when i'm in a zoom meeting for hours like i feel like i can't go to the bathroom or i can't eat or take a drink of water or something like that so if i'm in work meetings for two hours i'm sitting there like focused and it Is exhausting you know what i mean yeah Yeah you know the inhuman aspect is Is underrated like we can efficiently do More with zoom calls with you know um

[00:38:47] Jacob: Technology communication there but there is i mean just down you know when you think of a um a handshake like you make a deal you say some big corporation shirt and tie type guy you make a deal you shake hands that exchanges the chemical oxytocin back and forth between two humans which is kind of the feeling of trust within us um i mean we're missing in you know you Mentioned pheromones too think about all the things that we're not even totally in tune with or maybe is you know other people have proof but you and i just don't really understand it fully there's a lot of aspects of you know Where we're trying to communicate feeling and Meaning by words and in communication And talking but there's all these underlying factors of us as biological creatures that feel Differently when we're in the presence of one another our team um that we work with for Live event production for example like i feel like we all vibe really well off each other you know we're pretty close crew we um like when we're doing a live

[00:39:53] Abrielle: Show you know when i'm jamming i'm in the zone and i look over in the lighting guy or tyler or whoever is just right there with me like there's you could there's just this communication it's kind of like being in a band jamming on stage where you don't exactly have it all 100 rehearsed you know there's a couple things that are going to happen on the fly it's this communication this jazz riff i'm going to do this and you do this we got it like it's a head nod so it's uh you know humans are incredible it's cool that we're adjusting to all this stuff um i can't wait to get back to To kind of um i won't say normal but Whatever our next stage of Um modes of being Bounce back i think just based on like what we've gone through in history and where we ended up just a few years ago And now where we are now like i think it's in cycles and i think we'll be fine

[00:40:46] Jacob: I think everything is going to be fine but i like what you were saying about our team and that we vibe i what i like about that is we're able To communicate without actually speaking and we just get each other and everyone's kind of on the same page especially during a show and so if someone you know flubs something we like look over at each other and we know we did it and we're like yeah you did that but you know it's all good and we all laugh it off and we do the show or Someone's supposed to do something and they don't so someone makes up for it and the show keeps going and like everyone gets it yeah okay so i want to just because it keeps popping into my mind um I want to just skip back a little bit to motivational speakers who's your who's your juice like who's your bread and butter because you know if you're going to be the talent coordinator do you have anybody that stands out or do you just like motivational speakers is there something you listen to often or

[00:41:39] Jacob: Yeah i don't have anyone that stands out and i wouldn't say i listen to motivational speakers often um i listen to joe rogan but i don't know him as a motivational speaker like he kind of counts sometimes he gets on these rants and i'm like speaking my brother Uh there are definitely but also in my Research for the company that i have i just um I do i've started following more motivational accounts and i've started You know like i don't want to work with someone that I don't believe in my What i count as a huge blessing is that I have a job i have an income stream and i'm not worried about it So when i'm starting this company i can Make it exactly what i want I don't have to i'm not scrounging for Clients i'm not scrounging for money so i can go after the people i really believe in and so i'll watch a motivational speaker And i'm like this person really isn't interesting to me so i don't reach out to them but if i am inspired by someone i'm like i

[00:42:45] Jacob: Really love your message and i want more people to hear it and i want to give you a medium and help you facili i Want to facilitate you reaching people well i don't have anyone specifically but i just i enjoy reading quotes i Enjoy you know little motivational clips I enjoy anything that and i enjoy these types of conversations i would count a ton of my friends as motivational speakers you know like just because they don't have that title doesn't mean that when i talk to them i'm not motivated you know what i mean So there are tons of situations where I'm feeling down on myself i reached out to you recently where i was feeling down on myself and also that Problem wasn't you know it wasn't like this specific thing was wrong and that's what i needed to fix it was kind of an overarching thing that i needed to address in multiple avenues

[00:43:38] Jacob: And so i went to you for one aspect of it i went to a personal trainer i worked with for another aspect of it i went to my family for another aspect of it i went to my boyfriend for another aspect and through all of those different roads I was able to reach the solution and feel better and i'm able to mirror you know like Talking about things is so helpful and i talk to myself a lot and i figure Things out but

[00:44:02] Abrielle: I don't necessarily have other people's experiences and that's what i'm seeking is how people have navigated themselves right yeah i love that i love i mean just the ability to say man i got this thing i'm going through and i sure as heck don't have all the answers for it so like let's see what my wonderful friends have to say about it i love that you know i feel like i have my own versions of doing that i um in the description for the podcast is mining the hearts of one another um and i think that's that's been a Huge thing for me um is there wasn't a lot in my life

[00:44:37] Abrielle: That i was taught like it's all just kind of like figured out on your own and so me i'm observing everybody i'm with like my friends the parents of my friends i'm like how would they react to this situation what's you know even if it's not just going directly to them for advice i feel like when you can kind of learn by observation and learn by different people's perspectives and then you could take it in you don't have to listen to it right away you don't have to say like yes that's true but you can say like huh what do i think about that and like how does their perspective change mine in this moment and explore that a little bit more i think that's a that's a very helpful mindset to have

[00:45:14] Jacob: That you have that you're able to just take in these different um Different ways of observing the same observing the same problem you know it's also different in different cultures and i think that's important to think about too you know like as much as i haven't i've Traveled a little bit i've been to you know a few other countries but it's not like i've traveled the world But in the in learning about other Cultures and in the traveling that i have done and meeting new people like people Are the way they are because of the way they've been raised and you know nature and nurture but also just because of the culture that they're rooted into and so there are some people that it's Taken me forever to understand who they are and as i learn about the culture that they've come from then i begin to understand who they are So there's also you know some cultures Value different things differently and so

[00:46:16] Jacob: There are some problems that white americans have that in other countries just don't exist you know like they don't think about it as hard or it's not a problem that comes up Because someone else is dealing with it or you know like if there's any type of you Know if you think about loneliness if you are feeling lonely and you haven't been around a lot of people and all that kind of stuff and then you look at spanish families who just constantly have like all of their meals are together they have big meals at all their um holidays everyone gets Together spanish families are huge everyone loves each other they're just it's a huge big family it's hard to feel lonely in the spanish family i won't speak for anyone that's spanish and you know like is lonely i'm sure that's

[00:47:00] Abrielle: A thing that comes up but it's just something to think about that i'm always taking into consideration when i feel one certain way like why am i feeling this way who else could be feeling this way where does it come from how is it related to the culture that i'm in how is it related is it related to any societal pressures that i'm feeling why am i feeling those societal pressures like the thing that i was um coming to you recently was i was just not feeling good about myself or about My gym performance and just my work performance like i was just overall not feeling like i was my best or i was doing my best or not even that i wasn't doing my best i just felt like what i was doing wasn't good and i had to go ahead What were the conclusions that you came to with that well i had to sit back and say good compared to what and i had to Realize that i was comparing myself Even to things i know i shouldn't

[00:47:59] Abrielle: Compare myself to and um one of the things i've done on social media recently to you know like help my device usage is I've turned off all my notifications and i've stopped following like super pretty people and or i've muted accounts or i don't Um i don't follow them anymore like traveling accounts and just models and fitness people i Don't know that i just look at their profiles or their pictures because they're nice to look at like travel photos like places i've never been to that i you know desired to go to it's really just a Waste of time just scrolling through those things and i'm comparing my life to these girls or women or groups of people Or activities or places i want to go why Can't i go these places why haven't i been there why doesn't my body look like that why am i not you know that successful why am i not doing this it's just useless I'm the best i can be in where i am right now and i have plans to be more and i'm on

[00:48:59] Abrielle: The path of being more and i know my own ambition and i kick myself in the ass every day like I don't i don't feel like i'm actually Struggling i only feel that way when i'm looking at other people and so that whole issue was i just found That i was just comparing myself and why you know I should only be comparing myself to myself who i was yesterday or who i was when i wasn't doing as well and who i was when i wasn't doing as well was not as good as who i am today So i think i'm doing pretty good yeah no i love all that i really like your perspective on that when was your first time when you first got social media how old were you and like what was your experience with it because i'm always trying to um devise kind of you know how Has social media changed us and for me um i graduated high school 2010 And iphone came out 2008 or 2007. I say this a lot i should remember that but um i just really always observe like

[00:49:59] Abrielle: Man i wonder who i would be if we never had social media if i was never really super into social media who would i be how would i um compare myself to other people differently um so as it's something that we're learning to as we become older adults we kind of learn these wise ways Of dealing with it you're like oh looking at these this is it's cool that i get to see these fit people it's cool that i get to see these beautiful places but that's just kind of a nice picture it does actually give me this feeling of man i wish i was doing That so you being able to recognize the you know intuitively feel The feelings and emotions that these things on our feed stir within us then you're able to kind of flip the switch and be like i'm going to make this my you know my daily motivational board right so you're the beginning of social media

[00:50:49] Abrielle: For you and kind of like how you've adapted to it now to make it to your benefit so i think i started i definitely started social media on myspace and i think that was Uh like eighth grade i wanna say i got a Cell phone when i was 13. maybe 12. i know my parents said i Was gonna have to wait until i was 13 but they may have given it to me when i was 12 which i don't agree with probably pretty that's probably pretty early for back then yeah well i mean yes and no i'm There's six-year-olds getting phones now and so i know now but it's so weird is that i mean that's just the new normal though this yeah it really is but yeah so i Started on i mean i first had aim i don't know if that counts as social media but um I was on that i went from aim to Runescape which i don't it's not really Um social media either but I was on there talking um to myspace and Then myspace had its own like you could put where

[00:51:51] Abrielle: Your top eight friends or whatever and then there was like the bulletin board where you could do those fun surveys and enter your own stuff and then forward them to other people and everyone else would do your bulletin board surveys um and then there were a few email surveys that i feel like also happened that were similar to that myspace thing

[00:52:11] Jacob: Yeah and then um i went to Facebook and i had facebook until the End of high school and i deleted my facebook after high school i never i had twitter i had tumblr Um but tumblr was very i didn't share Who i was until like my later years of tumblr and then i was just posting like It was just kind of my outlet but also i posted like pretty pictures or whatever go ahead Well it's just interesting i'm wondering if you notice um looking back now like are these different facets of yourself like are these different kind of sides of your personality that are amplified when they're on certain platforms um i don't know but i know That it's easy to be someone else when there isn't a Face attached to it a face or a name So i know that specifically for tumblr i Never had like i always had my profile photos like A silhouette of me and then i just posted whatever pictures

[00:53:14] Jacob: I never really posted any blogs or anything personal and so i just kind of had a nice account with a decent amount of followers because i was just reposting other people's pretty pictures tumblr's about that mysterious vibe to it yeah but then once i got Instagram i was Against having Instagram and then i got Instagram in high school and i was like i just don't want to post my stuff like it doesn't make any sense that you would do that and here i am posting all my stuff Um but now you do modeling on Instagram Yeah and so what i think what i've Realized the difference in social media Now versus what it was when i was younger is That you would log on and like see all of your friends that you know and see what they're doing and see what they're up to and this person checked in here or you would check the myspace bulletin board and see what they answered to all those like what's your favorite color and all that kind of stuff like you would learn about your circle and then you could design

[00:54:13] Jacob: Your whole myspace page and it would be who you are and you would go on other people's pages and be like oh i want my cursor to look like that and learn how to code that cursor and stuff like that so that was a cool past time where you Were actually learning about the people that you know and now i feel like the past time that We have is mindlessly scrolling through pretty pictures that entertain our brain that aren't really teaching us and even if they are teaching us like even if they are a bulletin board of positive thoughts like what are they actually doing i'm Actually getting a little bit sick of the positivity like i feel like there was a lot of negativity and so like if you just one really small Portion of it like fat shaming people who are overweight felt bad about themselves and there was a lot of negativity towards them and all that kind of stuff and so then there's been this swing to the opposite side where you love your body love your shape All the stores are coming out with like

[00:55:14] Jacob: All the shapes and sizes of clothing and like it's really great but there's just so much like love yourself love yourself love yourself be who you want to be do this you can do whatever you want you can do it i feel like there's so much self-help that it's just Sickening like it's almost so toxic like you're allowed to hate yourself sometimes like you shouldn't make a mistake and just love yourself like you need to learn from it and feel bad about it and you shouldn't have done that you shouldn't have whatever you know and so i just i feel Like there's so much be successful be this Be that and that's what Instagram is everything is happy and everything is that brand of being wonderful and it's just it's ju it's so much like I feel like everyone is just trying to be so happy and i even see it and people That i know and i know the struggles that they go through and then i look at their Instagram and it's like amazing everything is great and i'm just like what like it's such a great

[00:56:17] Jacob: Um case study i guess to look at that Because like i know what you're going through is hard and you're just posting that everything's great and it's easy like that is such a specific example that is just like Everything on Instagram like there are women who post it whatever and They are their body looks great but if you really like if you're a girl and you know how to post like you know that they're standing a certain way in a certain lighting they've added a certain filter they've edited a certain way like you know that photo was the best of 160 photos that they took and that one Just happened to like contour their butt properly and they just look a great they look like they have a big butt and a skinny stomach but like when they moved one angle difference Like they it showed the pancakes that they ate that morning like it's just not And so i feel like that is what i have Tried to eliminate in all of my watching The social dilemma and learning about i've started following tristan's harris movement of the humane technology

[00:57:25] Jacob: Whatever the movement is signed up for it and get all the suggestions about how to use your device less and how to use it more consciously and things like that so i've turned my notifications off i told you i followed those pretty people that just make me mindlessly scroll i've just recently put my phone on grayscale mode So it's not pretty to look at and i'm not distracted by all the nice colors that are rewarding to my brain Have you noticed a difference from that yet like yeah is it kind of like this Thing where you're not pulled in by all these fantastic colors it is i noticed myself i still do go on Instagram but also on Instagram i have a timer so on my personal account i have 15 minutes a day and on my other account i have 30 minutes a day and when they go off i'm done and so Yeah i spend 45 minutes a day at most on Instagram and sometimes on my personal account i don't even get the notification until like night time that i've spent my 15 minutes for the day

[00:58:19] Jacob: Yeah well yeah i don't use them and The thing with the grayscale is that um I've designed my background to be really nice and it's really colorful and it's all these pictures from my trip to mexico and it's beautiful and when it's on grayscale like it doesn't hit the same way you know and So when i look at my phone like oh what pretty pictures i want to look at more pretty pictures and so i open my phone and start scrolling through Instagram or start scrolling through my camera roll and if they're just black and white photos are really cool and dramatic but they're just not as cool as what i know they are and so i've set up um Shortcuts on my phone to change it from grayscale to color so that if anyone's like do you like this shirt or i need this color or whatever like i can quickly change it but i've kept it on grayscale For most of the day and if i do end up changing it because i need to see something and i and i leave it just out of habit I notice that i'm more um

[00:59:23] Jacob: Taken into it i'm on it more i'm get Back into that habit of just getting on Instagram and scrolling through it and i'm like no this is what we don't want to do back on grayscale and get off yeah i Think i think that setting limits and kind of exploring What works for all of us as individuals when it comes to social media and our social media use is it's right now it's huge you know but i think it's going to be something that we're going to look back and like oh a lot of humans had to kind of like relearn the act of social media so for Me um i remember i had quit i had quit Social media i mean probably two years ago or so um i

[01:00:04] Abrielle: Quit for almost a year i got off of it and i was just really on my self-development kick i was just really like trying to find myself i went through um I started learning like um this is what i would consider i kind of had like a spiritual awakening and it's kind of an intense phrase but um just learning all these things about myself and learning why am i doing this and what's my behavior trying to get from here and um what's what validation am i seeking from this and um i remember i had we Went to this breakfast place in portland and i had been on social media for a while and it was just so great to hang out friends i was in a great mood and uh there was this i got a coffee And it was this very like hipster bottle it's portland like

[01:00:45] Abrielle: Right downtown or right around hawthorne and uh i was just transfixed by this bottle basically this thing that i got my coffee and it was just like this little stout cool shape cool color cool design and i remember being like i was noticing how much i loved This thing and i was like man this is like it's just a bottle man it's not that big of a deal but i was in the moment i was like this is awesome i really am enjoying this bottle what a great design i was going on about it was like i took a molly right before i walked in there or something um but it's but what it was You know we're so used to not only being

[01:01:20] Abrielle: Sold to but just having things be so perfect all the time as you're scrolling through it's like wow there's a beautiful waterfall but you can make it look even more vibrant and beautiful by adding all these filters and effects so does that dull the senses when we do see an actual waterfall and it's kind of a an overcast day is it not as pretty to us does it not strike us as much so just noticing the without even trying by Removing social media and removing a lot of this like want for perfection and better and more and all this stuff it makes its value our everyday interactions a little bit more like i'm pumped that i was able to see this little uh glass bottle of coffee And just be transfixed by it honestly i thought that was a cool thing but i think that also comes from you being a creative and you knowing that With anything that is made there's a Whole process behind it and who

[01:02:14] Abrielle: Who designed that bottle why is it that shape why is it glass why isn't it this why isn't it that why is it this color why is it served at that place what does it mean to that person like why did they choose this maybe that didn't go into it maybe they Were like i like that bottle that's what i'm gonna use you know like but as a person and also Humans just appreciate art and so when you see something that's nice and beautiful and it um evokes emotion that's just like a Biological thing that i think that we have so I think that's why Instagram gets our Attention because there's just all this art to appreciate but all this stuff is Just pretty for our brains to look at and it's not actually doing anything for us Well okay so i was thinking you know the you know dopamine shortcut of laying in bed and you get to experience beauty like normally like before technology before phones and you know even before let's say cameras and photos um you're

[01:03:13] Jacob: Laying in your bed and you're just in your environment so i feel like there's a in order to see beauty you have to seek Beauty i feel like um before and so it would it

[01:03:22] Abrielle: Would motivate you to leave your house to go on a hike to go find these other things that other artists are creating and really look for them so you can have that experience but now we have the shortcut like oh i wanna i'm kind of feeling down and i'm kind of feeling blah and so i'm gonna go experience some beauty and you click on your phone then you your chemicals are just going off in your head so it's interesting to see the you know there's so many benefits to social media in our are intertwining as humans with technology but i really do enjoy looking At the hey how is this not helpful to me how is this demotivating to me

[01:03:57] Jacob: Yeah i think that um and so that's the Whole thing where the um the humane technology movement Has asked everyone to delete their social media and i'm not that far because i think Social media is great for a lot of reasons there are just a few detrimental um habits that we get from it that i Think should be eliminated if you're conscious of them and so that mindless Scrolling is something that they obviously want us to do and that's not something we need to do that was never something humans did before that's never something I did before just mindlessly scrolling through my phone like no one's ever done that you never like You i always i grew up watching you know like little einsteins and informational videos and all those kinds Of things so like whenever i was consuming digital information it was teaching me something i've never done this weird passive thing Where i'm just scrolling and scrolling And like i'll be working and my brain is bored of The work i'm doing so i'm scrolling and working like it doesn't it doesn't make any sense it's just it's a weird thing to do

[01:05:13] Jacob: And it's not productive and like think about how much time you're taking away from other things and um i find myself you know when i'm I get a i'll get an Instagram notification while i'm walking to my car and then i'm looking at my phone while walking through a parking lot like that's not safe you're supposed to be aware of your surroundings especially as a woman like i'm supposed to be aware of everything that's happening around me like not looking at my phone because i got an Instagram notification that i can look at literally any other time and then when You get a notification you get sucked into whatever is happening and i will tell you that the getting sucked in thing doesn't happen as often with the grayscale that's not something yeah like i'll get a message i'll go to check the message and i'm like it's not interesting being on here so i'm off so well i think even

[01:06:01] Abrielle: Bringing those just you know bringing it to the forefront of your attention and just having that awareness of you know i think we all have our little habits so if we pull out our phone or we get a text we get a notification we respond to it and then you know we got a few more minutes until we're or we gotta we got 50 more feet till we're at our car so let's click on the Instagram icon really quick and scroll so we can fill this gap of time yeah Yeah i mean i do it all the time i'm always trying to explore within myself you know my Addictive tendencies when it comes to Social media and like what is this validating within me is this helpful um is it am i okay you Know and there's also a part with me where i try to forgive myself and i try

[01:06:43] Jacob: To say like hey it's okay to enjoy this thing that you have right now it's okay like give yourself the time um give yourself five more minutes to do this and then put that put that line sinker in it um something i wanted to switch over to Abrielle is something you were saying as you're walking you know just as a woman to um you know be aware Of your surroundings like it's something that you would have to think of more often than i like i can be kind of you know head in the clouds and not be in the same headspace as you would be you know trying to look out for yourself and i bring that up because i know that you've taken um women's self-defense classes right Yeah well it has been women self-defense but i also take

[01:07:23] Abrielle: I take Krav Maga and the Krav Maga turns Into women's self-defense classes that's mixed martial arts technically it's um it's what they train the israeli Defense forces in it's uh it's i think it translates to Like brutal street combat or something like that I don't know if that it translates to that's not the right word but that's like what it's considered is it's just kind of like the goal of krav Maga is to neutralize the threat So we learn and i especially Love the women's self-defense classes because we learn anything from if someone comes and grabs your shirt like how do you get out of that and You know help yourself out of the situation if someone my favorite recently um the instructor learned like a new Technique if someone grabs your hair how to you know maneuver out of that um If one of the women who was in there you Know a lot of women would find themselves Like on their back under another person and How do you defend when another person is on top of you and you're on the ground things like that and it also just krav

[01:08:36] Abrielle: Maga teaches more confidence In that you can do something like There are a lot of women who just when Anything would happen they may not think To do anything and Krav Maga just teaches you that there are options and there's a way to like stop analyze Choose what you're gonna do and move forward within a split second and i don't know how i would react in a Real situation but i know that i know there are options And i know that i've been told when since i've started doing krav When i'm in situations with people i don't know i'm like in a fighting stance i'm like ready to go because that's just like i'm more Aware of myself and i'm people are less likely to pick On you if you look stronger or if you look like You know what you're doing or you look like you're no you're going somewhere like if you're just walking slowly somewhere Someone can pick on you more than if you're walking with purpose So there are just things that we learn like that um but also like doing

[01:09:49] Abrielle: Any martial art i feel like would teach your body that it can do something the more often you punch the stronger your wrists get you know i've learned that my wrists are stronger now because you're punching and your wrist can't like bend or whatever so it just has to be Strong So there are those things that i learned That i know i could hit someone with the What is this the butt of your palm i know i could yeah that's the butt yeah the i don't know what is that called i don't know whatever Yeah i feel like i've heard it called the butt of your bomb that's the scientific term and something like that but i know that you can like hit them in the bridge of their nose and it hurts i've also people we've worked with i've taught them that you can take someone's nose and go like that and bring their head back seems unpleasant Yeah it's very unpleasant they didn't like it um but there are just little small

[01:10:46] Abrielle: Things you can do to the body and they teach you those things and i'm really happy to be able to do that so yeah you know that reminds me just the level of preparation that brings you for you know i like it's not that you're always guarded like you're always just waiting for like any interaction so you're just like are you about to punch me because i'll punch you first sort of thing um but it just me is this preparation uh what popped into My mind was uh kevin hart talking about he had gotten a car wreck a while back ago um the comedian kevin hart actor kevin hart and he talked about how him being in shape before the car wreck happened was his preparation for the car wreck like so if he hadn't worked out before if he wasn't an avid like uh in shape fit person then that car Wreck would have been a lot worse like his body wouldn't have handled it as much like his um i don't remember exactly the extent of his injuries but him being fit before actually kind of

[01:11:41] Abrielle: Saved him in these injuries and so that's just what pops into mind for that it's kind of just this like it keeps you In optimal shape mentally like just knowing hey if something does happen right now i can handle it my body is trained for it you know i don't even have to think my body knows the reactive things because i train them and i'd go to class

[01:12:00] Jacob: Yeah something i that i encountered recently i also teach acrobatics And so i lift weights and i go to the

[01:12:08] Abrielle: Gym a lot and i'm doing Krav Maga and the gym supplements Krav Maga Um i have been Squatting higher weight recently And then in acrobatics i just started teaching the girls back handsprings and So i'm having to catch these hundred pound girls and flip them over and i'm thinking thank god i can squat higher than your weight and i have built my arms a Little bit so i can hold you and i can pick these girls up no problem and flip them over like i every i think you know working

[01:12:41] Jacob: Out supplements everything it's just people with back pain don't work out and if you have back pain working out normally helps back pain there's just you know i used to get a lot of knots in my back and it was from my back being out of shape you know so there's yeah dude i I think i'm always I'm always you know preaching to the choir likely and just yelling at nobody from a hill but i'm always just trying to convince people to work out and move and stretch Because to me i think that our society Has this thing where working out is to burn calories if you're fat it's like no it's has all these there's millions of other benefits it makes you feel better it increases your ability it Strengthens your immune system it strengthens your respiratory system like there's all these things that um if you look at your body as uh you Know holistically affecting your everyday life which it does a hundred percent it's not just oh i'm

[01:13:40] Jacob: Getting kind of chubby oh i've got a vacation in four months so i'm gonna start working out or oh i ate a piece of cake and so i'm over my calorie count so that's why i'm going to work out for me it's just like there's so much preparation it helps your mental health to work out to Just move get your cerebral spine fluid Moving around daily it helps with i have a lot of inflammation i get neural inflammation which is a lot of my effects of when it comes to depression And just breathing doing yoga stretching it out 10 minutes 20 minutes that helps me like remove some of that inflammation so yeah I think um like just all the all the different facets of our life that are positively effective by being active some form of activity and i Know right now just to kind of put it put a stick in this part any listener right now kova times are weird All right like our gyms are canceled the council right now i don't know where it's how it is over with you abroad but they just shut off

[01:14:39] Jacob: Florida's open florida oh yeah you guys can do whatever you want yeah i mean i have to wear my mask to walk into the gym and get my temperature taken but then masked off we're good to go There's supposed to be social distancing there's not yeah it's so hard it's so Hard to compare like what's the right Thing to do like there's so many humans are so complicated we can't it's not just a yes or no a good or a bad thing but i don't know either way i think that anybody especially in these times get active like get out of your House a lot of us are on our computers more a lot of us like you said you know so many people complain about back pain or complain about knee pain or ankle pain or hips hurt or my neck hurts or all these things tired all the time tired all the time for sure and there's Something about it's like our ego protects us because our ego is like well I want to justify why i'm doing what i'm doing um And so you suggest um i have many

[01:15:38] Jacob: People in my life where um there will be those complaints said to me and i'm like why are you stretching are you doing this like oh Well i got this injury and i can't and um no i don't i don't do that or whatever like but we've got to take control and Take um responsibility for our physical Health i think my favorite is like when you ask someone if they drink water and they're like oh

[01:16:00] Jacob: I don't need that much water that's what is that what yeah like it's one of my favorites how do you know man like how do you like you know everything about the interior of your body like as your body's processing the water you think you consciously do that or something like you're sending your water dehydrated at different parts of the day you can drink a lot of water in the morning and be like yeah i drank two glasses of water this morning and you can feel great and dehydrated for three to four hours but like if you don't drink any water for the rest of the day you're going to be dehydrated by the end of the night and i think i heard some statistic 75 of americans are dehydrated Think about how tired that makes you think about how hungry that makes you and then it makes you eat more and then you're overweight and then you don't work out because you're overweight and you know you're tired because you're overweight because you retired from not drinking water it just i don't work as well i get

[01:16:58] Jacob: Headaches how many people have headaches from drinking water and they don't know it they would rather take an ibuprofen or in a leaf before drinking a glass of water absolutely and it's just it's crazy to me but I think going back to working out working out helps me just because i have so much energy i'm just a different person like i'm not necessarily crazy but i'm just like a little bit more irritable i'm a little bit more um like Let's go do this thing i'm a little bit more a little there like there's when i go to the gym and i push Myself and i get that sweat in and i've challenged myself for the day i'm good there's i'm just chill to be around Someone argue i'm not i guess but no i'm Totally with you i like getting that it really helps the

[01:17:50] Jacob: Mental like you can wake up and you got brain fog and you kind of got scattered thoughts but you go in you exert yourself and you pay attention and you do you do your job you do your workout and then at the end it's just like all right now i'm calm i'm ready i'm more precise than i was before um i Think so many people would benefit from just Physical activity it helps us it helps us all a lot and i was telling you too when i was going through that whole thing like There are a lot of things that could have made me feel depressed and anxious and given me all of those feelings because when i start working a lot i eat less i Sleep less and those kinds of things having low blood sugar and not eating enough can definitely make you feel tired make you feel depressed and increase anxiety not sleeping makes you tired Makes you depressed can increase anxiety Feeling anxiety and having experience With anxiety and then feeling anxiety again from something i

[01:18:50] Jacob: Don't really associate with like not knowing where my anxiety is coming from or maybe feeling overwhelmed and thinking associating my anxiety with my feeling Of overwhelm it's not um it just kind of contributes To more anxiety like why am i feeling anxious why am i this why am i that and then i just spiral into anxiety and depression when like maybe i just needed to eat a Hamburger like who knows like eat a hamburger and drink a glass of water maybe that's what it was when i was growing up i was very thin and um i would always have a lot of headaches and i didn't eat very much because i just wasn't hungry but what i realized and it came from talking to my aunt about what her daughter does about my um my cousin what my cousin does is She doesn't eat big meals but she would eat every two hours So i started doing that and i had less headaches i was less upset I was less crazy i was less this i was less than it all was diet related

[01:19:48] Jacob: So i can't imagine how many people have problems and feel these certain ways and they just have poor nutrition poor nutrition poor workout schedule poor um you know like not drinking enough water just not doing themselves right and i Can't imagine the difference it would make for people yeah for real i you know it's i always encourage people to really find what works for you know get in tune with how do i feel do i feel okay and like how have i felt the last couple days and why is it and what time of night breakfast and all this for me the act of fasting Is what seems to be the absolute best for me um like i you know there's been Stages in my life where eating every couple hours definitely has been the best for me but then that stops working or that stops that um allows me to be too lenient on going To vending machines or you know eating crappy food more often so

[01:20:46] Jacob: What i found that works for me um over the last like a year and a half or so is fasting intermittent fasting so i basically have like a feeding window i'm eating during these four hours or i'm just eating this one big meal and then i'm done um yeah but yeah i think getting in Touch with you know you're like okay when i eat more often i have less headaches cool you know i think getting to that Problem-solving mindset of there's an answer here is very helpful rather than just i always have headaches and so i just taken a leave and it helps because we like to alleviate our symptoms but not get to the root cause of the problems it's just kind of how we've been raised in the western society i feel like it's like when you have a problem you just you go to the doctors And they find a way to fix it and if not there's a pill that'll fix that thing but a lot of our problems are symptomatic of Our lifestyle and of what we're not doing or what we're doing too much

[01:21:42] Jacob: I think that also comes with i just bought a supplement recently and the reason i bought it was because i Got sucked into this 20-minute ad for it and i Just started listening to it and i was like okay i'm hooked like i understand the marketing aspects that i'm being addressed by right now but i'll just listen to you go ahead and she's just telling me all of these reasons i need to take her supplement and why i feel the way i do and i'm like Okay you got me i'll spend the 50 Whatever it is on your supplement and see if it helps but the supplement is for bloating Um more energy and uh It's supposed to it's supposed to decrease floating increase energy and a third thing And so then i bought the supplement because i was like no harm in trying but why do i need that supplement like

[01:22:38] Jacob: Why if i'm experiencing bloating like what am i eating that's making me bloated if i don't have enough energy what am i eating that's making me feel like i don't have enough energy or what else could i be doing that could give me more energy am i not sleeping enough am i not getting all of these things so you know i found that i'm not lactose Intolerant but i don't react well to milk if i drink milk i get Very bloated i eat yogurt i get very bloated i used to eat yogurt every single day and i used to feel bloated every single day so am i going to take a supplement to decrease bloating or am i going to eliminate yogurt you know so there's just these things and i feel like people don't realize them like going to

[01:23:18] Jacob: The gym and taking supplements and stuff like do you need them how much do you need them if you're lifting heavy weights obviously like the normal human body won't be able to do that or support that and you need to add a little bit extra but if you're just like a normal person that's just going to do some cardio like i don't think you need bcaas and creatine And although there are benefits to taking creatine i take creatine it's good for women it's good for men it's good for a ton of reasons like do we actually need these things taking all these vitamins like if we if we just ate the right things would we get the right amount of vitamins from our food you know Yeah i mean that's what supplements are it's like it's supplementing something that you're that should be in your diet um i think our modern our modern Food system is just not actually really Designed for optimal humans you know it's uh it's

[01:24:18] Jacob: Designed for our economy really you know think of fast food like i'm a sucker for fast food man i know that it doesn't always serve me well but it helps when i'm like Okay i'm like two days ago i went to chick-fil-a because i worked up in seattle um and i had to go like jet back and Get to my um other job and i didn't prep Before you know and so i got fast food So it's like it helps fill this need of needing some Food in between so i can work more but we got to look at our lives as work is a facet of my life health is also A facet of my life how i feel allows me to work better so if i'm eating fast food six times a week then I can't show up mentally and And optimally do my job and I think with quarantine we're learning that there are more facets in our life than just work and things like that like i think that's something i've talked to you about um that through quarantine and

[01:25:18] Jacob: Being locked down and there was a specific time when no one could go out and no one could work and there was nothing to do and i just learned who i am and what my Schedule is and what i need things i like to eat you know like what Makes me feel fulfilled during the day do i like To read am i more into screens am i more do i like to journal what do i like to learn about how do i spend my time when i'm just by Myself being me and then once work started to Kick up like how do i incorporate back into my schedule how much work do i really want to put into my day and i'm so lucky that i'm a contractor and i'm not an employee and i'm not in a position to where i'm scrounging for money and things like that so where i can say from these hours to these Hours i'm working and the rest of the time like

[01:26:13] Jacob: Working out doing laundry cooking learning you know like i dedicate a chunk of my day to work but that's only a part of my day i also

[01:26:23] Abrielle: Go to the gym i go to Krav Maga i hang out with my boyfriend i talk to my family i talk to my friends i talk to my extended family i read something i'm watching a movie I'm watching a video like i'm fulfilling myself in other ways that doesn't just come from work and i think that's something that i've just realized and learned that Work isn't my whole life you know right

[01:26:47] Jacob: Yeah i mean so you're i mean you're doing all these things now but i feel like even before the pandemic you have you have a huge work ethic um you have a huge drive i mean like does this come from just Knowing like hey i want to be as most self-actualized as i possibly can or did you have do you have somebody like inspiring in your life that maybe when you were younger like instilled these things in you like where does your hard work ethic come from yeah i definitely had my dad my dad worked a lot I don't know that it necessarily was inspiring because he just you know he was that dad who works so much and he traveled for work he sold microscopes But he sold microscopes like universities and big Scientists so he was doing the big bill ones that's a cool job yeah he's a sick guy he's cool Um but so like he knows

[01:27:37] Abrielle: He would be the person they call and would know all the specific things about a microscope and uh he would go to conventions and travel to the netherlands and he would always be in a different city and i feel like when i was growing up there was a lot of him traveling like he'd be gone for valentine's day he'd be gone for my mom's birthday if he's home he was always in the office and we've talked about it since he's retired and you know i'm older and i know how to analyze things and i'm emotionally intelligent So when he sees me working i ask him What it was like to be working when his family was eating dinner he's working in the car while we're driving somewhere he's working this time he's always on the phone he leaves thanksgiving to answer the phone he goes up into his office and i don't see him all day and then he comes down in a row because he hasn't gotten dressed at all and you know that's what i see and that's

[01:28:28] Abrielle: Kind of the way i am too but that's kind of where i got that from but i have to i have to know that i am Fulfilled too because work is not my whole life and when i die like when i die i don't want to say like i did my job you know i want my goal in life is to be The best in i want to be a well-rounded Person i want to be the best in everything that i can do i want to be a great friend i want to be a great partner i want to be great at communicating i want to be great at cooking i want to be a great manager i want to be a great employee i want to be a great

[01:29:07] Abrielle: Um athlete i want to be a great i want to be great at flexibility like i just want to be the best at everything and i recognize that i can't be the best at everything like i'm not very good at dancing and a lot of people will attest to that i'm not very good at dancing i have no intentions of being a great dancer but i intend on getting better Um but i just wanna i Like i want to be a total package i want To live my life fully I want my life to be filled with Love and light and just The best things i can find so

[01:29:47] Jacob: I don't how did we get there i don't even know just kind of where you got that work ethic i feel like the You're on you're on the pursuit of your best self like no knowing that maybe you'll never reach it but i think knowing that's your path you know is bound to give you the best life you Could ask for right you know when it really is it's the pursuit of my best self and it's i am a firm believer that there's no new Year's resolutions there's a new day resolution there's no like i'm going to start this thing but i'm going to start january 1st i got it like Start tomorrow start today start right now like when are you going to start eating healthy go to the grocery store and start for dinner like there's no like why tomorrow you just you've Like time is a perception so like why

[01:30:36] Abrielle: Are you going to start at a certain time or at the beginning of a week that is a fake thing like that's only a concept like why don't you just start right now your body is bad right now why don't you start now you don't like your job now why don't you quit now like why are you going to wait until you get some promotion or you make a certain amount of money or you get this whatever obviously there's going to be some reason maybe in someone's life that makes sense but you're just doing the same thing over and over and over again like why are you going to wait until january 1st to change tomorrow change today changed right now that's a huge part of who i am so i'm just i'm constantly evolving and i see things posted online that say you know i talk to people in My past and they don't recognize who i am because i've evolved to another level and that's my experience all the time anyone i talk to from my childhood

[01:31:28] Abrielle: I'm so different i want different things i speak differently i hold myself differently i feel about myself differently people used to think i was a certain way i'm not anymore i have to correct them i I don't feel that way i'm this and that and this and that like i am evolving exponentially every day that i wake up and um what i started doing recently is I started journaling in the morning i just reflect back on what i did Yesterday and how i felt about it and then my goals for today and um what i'm thankful for So that really gives me a chance to I do it right when i wake up so 6 45 in The morning and i don't check any of my notifications in the morning i just get right into my journal i reflect on everything I did and actually one thing that i realized is so many good things happen to me in a day there are too many for me to put in like a little concise journal i don't want to be too long and

[01:32:27] Abrielle: I don't want to take too long doing it i take about 15 minutes to do it or shorter if i can but i don't want it To be a long thing that takes my time otherwise i won't do it So i wanted to be concise and i realized Like if i'm talking about all the great things that happened the day before because i do want to focus on the good things i can mention the bad things but i want I want the purpose of the journal to be to teach my brain to think More positively not that it thinks Negatively but we all have a tendency to lean Towards the negative things you know like the one negative thing that happened during the day we sort of lean towards that rather than Focus on i woke up today i had groceries in my fridge i have enough money to buy more if i need to i had a great breakfast I had a great workout i had i worked on

[01:33:18] Abrielle: A project that i love because i work in a job that i love like i get to do different things every day there's variety i love what i do i love the people i work with i love the conversations i have got a nice email um Went to crawf had a great class and then I got to see my boyfriend and he was great and talk to my family and they're all great everyone's healthy nobody's injured no one has covered like everything is super good in my life I come home to my cats my cats are great i have my own Apartment that i can afford i feel like i live a great life i'm really happy obviously i want more like i'd rather not live in this apartment my whole life um but like i want a dog like i have More things that i want to do i want to make more money i want to invest i want i want more for myself but

[01:34:06] Abrielle: I think where i am right now i'm 25 years old i think i'm in a pretty good spot and then just trying to list all of the good things in a day like that's what i'm grateful for is i have so many things to be grateful for i can't even list them out shortly briefly because it's something That's so interesting the journaling has really um taught Me to focus and uh it's helped like uh reflect on myself And my experiences Yeah i mean it's because when you journal you kind of realize because you're someone who's so aware of Your thoughts and aware of what's going on um it's kind of We get into these moods where We can forget about all that other stuff like something kind of you know big could happen or something

[01:34:56] Abrielle: We could just kind of get into this thought loop of like man i'm not where i want to be in this aspect of my life and blah and like before you know it you're kind of just spiraling and you um you're kind of down on yourself and when you journal and when you show gratitude for what you do enjoy in your life what is going well in your life it has this it has this great way of um Kind of snapping you out of your own **** sometimes but i also think that doing it more often teaches your brain to do it more often like they can speak it

[01:35:26] Jacob: Yeah take it till you make it just so that's What was wrong with me that few weeks recently ago um I told you i had talked to my personal trainer and i was feeling that i was feeling like i couldn't work out or I was bad at working out and like what does that even mean you know but i was forgetting my gratitude i I am forgetting that i have two legs and I have two arms and i woke up this morning and i have the financial ability to have a gym membership and i'm able to my gym is open i live in a state where my gym can be open i can work out i there are where we live In a time where there's plenty of gym equipment i'm not you know stuck waiting for someone my gym is big enough i live in a place where i have options Of going to different gyms like thank god i can work out i'm

[01:36:19] Abrielle: I'm forgetting that gratitude you know i'm feeling bad like i'm not good at it i'm not like what am i not good at i'm not good at lifting something up and throwing it down like what does that mean for me why am i feeling that way and compared to what so i was forgetting my gratitude and i was comparing myself to other people that aren't me yeah what is your If you had to Like the strength that you have the feelings within you that you're like okay i'm proud of these things within myself i'm glad that i'm able to see um you know be emotionally aware be Emotionally intelligent These areas How would you suggest to someone who Maybe they've been on these loops of um Not being very nice to themselves not being very grateful for what they do have um you know we all get kind of caught up In the muck of it sometimes like how would you what advice would you give to someone who you know it's time for them to build some strength it's time for them to build some um self persev perseverance you know um

[01:37:27] Jacob: How would you inspire people it's repetition and it's recognizing it's perspective It's recognition and perspective there is you have to Have perspective because you i I was listening to something recently and i think it was joe rogan that it was um the worst thing that Happens some to someone can be the worst thing that happens to them but it's not bad compared to what happened to someone else and so you know like i say i'm so Grateful to live in my apartment i'm so grateful to wake up you have to have that perspective like there are hundreds of thousands of People who die every day or just don't wake up i've had Friends who you know get into drinking or drugs or they are just casually on sleeping pills They you know like they have to take medicine to go to sleep they had one night where they went out and drank a lot and then they took their sleeping pill just like normal and then they never woke up again and so i have that perspective just when

[01:38:27] Jacob: I wake up in the morning thank goodness the sun is shining through my window like i've i'm oriented in a way that however my Apartment is that the sun can come in my apartment and on the opposite side where it sets on that side you know like i there are just when you have the

[01:38:45] Abrielle: Perspective you're able to recognize all those little blessings and i hope to god i never Lose my gratitude and so that's why They're sorry alarm going off that's why there's moments where i feel like i'm forgetting My gratitude and i hope i never do because it's something that people don't have and that's also something i'm grateful for is that i have my gratitude right um because there's just really there are people who are just grumpy you know about living their life

[01:39:17] Jacob: And i hate my job and i hate this thank god you have a job can you imagine the amount of people right now who don't have a job it's just it's so sad and the amount of People who get caught up in the news and then they're so stressed out and they're so anxious and this is happening and this is happening and this is happening but it's not actually affecting you and your life is pretty good and you're Healthy and there's not a lot that's going on that's negative in your life it's just that one thing that happened to you that took 10 minutes of your day that was bad Yeah uh um duncan tressel has this Little rant that he goes off that just it struck me so hard um basically there's probably some **** who's out there in the woods right now with no cell phone staring at a beautiful waterfall who has no idea how pissed off he's supposed to be right now yeah you know like it's just this reminder that

[01:40:11] Jacob: Yes these things that you've been focusing on like maybe they have some truth to them maybe they are um you know bits of information But are they helpful to your life um are They the only truth um you know just as much as like all these things that have been going on um in the political world with all this divisiveness all this um you know separation all this Argument that we've gotten into over the last you know four or five years it's that would still you don't have to Interact with that like other that could exist for other people and you could turn your phone off and go look at a waterfall you know it's not the only reality so a lot of times we need to be able to take a little stock of how much time am i investing in my am i investing my Intention in the correct things do these things that i'm investing my attention in benefit me in the future is this helpful

[01:41:06] Abrielle: To you know the person that i want to be the person that i strive to be the person that i hope to you know someday accomplish or lean towards there's a difference between i feel like a lot of people don't want to dwell on their thoughts and dwell on things like that but there's a difference between you know Functional analysis and dwelling and that was something that i had to figure out because I was talking recently about you know like maybe i do think a lot about stuff but maybe I'm over thinking and over analyzing you know like the way that i think about something and i think about the way i think about something and then i think about the way i think about thinking about something that's just fine maybe I don't need to do that um

[01:41:53] Jacob: But so you have to just be aware of like what you're saying why did that happen why am i Thinking about it do i need to think about it or is it useless to think about i know something um that i've had to teach myself in the last few years is that That feeling of when you've either upset Someone or you haven't upset someone or you Might you said something to someone maybe um and you think they're upset with you and you just sit there thinking like did i say the wrong thing did i do this did i do that are they feeling bad like oh my god what are they are they crying are they are they mad like i'm crying because i think they're mad or i think that they reacted this way i think they feel this way None of that actually exists and i had

[01:42:42] Jacob: To teach myself that when i'm sitting on the other side of my phone my device you know like how was that message received are they mad are they do they feel this none of that exists until someone says they're mad or until someone acts like they're mad like normally they would be talking to you sending me smiley faces or saying good morning or whatever or like with in the case of my brother like normally we text a bunch if he's not communicating with me at all If someone's not communicating with you at all or if they specifically say what you said was messed up and i'm mad at you there is no reason to have stress or Anxiety about a situation that you don't know the outcome of or you don't know the status of you have to ask yeah That's super powerful actually i get in the mindset or i get in the Habit a lot of asking a lot of questions and it's a little bit you know like i ask

[01:43:39] Jacob: I ask a lot of questions about like where a person is and i know my boyfriend specifically says like don't ask me like i'm good like it unless i have a problem like i'm good and so i figured out that and i've talked to a lot of other girls who their guys are just like don't ask me i'm good yeah like Guys are just like we're good unless liberty say we're not good like i don't know and girls were like how are you feeling how did you feel five seconds ago how were you this morning did you change Yeah i mean i hey i can vouch for that i have i'm definitely more in touch with my feminine side i was raised by um a lot of women on my younger ages um So i'm definitely like that i've kind of had to learn those own lessons myself to look at this guy he's just so cute i'm cute um so i feel like that

[01:44:23] Abrielle: Leads right into we did mention the word projection before i feel like that's kind of what that is you know a lot of times we project our own insecurities on uh what we believe other People to be thinking about us it absolutely is and i that's another thing i realize is a lot of almost like 80 percent of my interaction with people is projection of how i'm feeling so you know i will something will happen in a situation and i'm like oh should i have said that now i feel bad now i feel stressed now i feel anxious Do you feel anxious Do you feel stressed why are you upset now you're acting weird why are you upset and it's like they weren't acting weird it's all me it's all me being projecting onto them or why don't why

[01:45:07] Abrielle: Aren't you so happy why aren't you and they're like you're bombarding me with questions about why i'm upset right when they're just they weren't even thinking about any of those things they're probably just dealing with their own intricate things and trying not to project their own **** you know that's right i told my brother when he went to college he you know he didn't want to go to the grocery store because he was afraid of like what people were going to see him buying and i'm like oh dude people are thinking so much about their own problems they have no idea what's your in your shopping cart they don't care they don't care whether you bought that brand of cheese or that brand of cheese like everyone's so into themselves like who's gonna pay

[01:45:45] Abrielle: Attention to you isn't that the realest **** though like i've got compassion for your brother because like i'll catch myself doing same things like that i'm like well you know i try to put out this very healthy food conscious person on the internet and so if someone sees me buy a bag of doritos i'm going to feel guilty enough to explain to myself or whatever like it's this weird thing we do to ourselves when it's nobody would ever give a damn what's in My grocery cart it's just me everybody is so busy worrying about themselves they're not worrying about you it's so true but the projection is it's In every situation but i feel it

[01:46:23] Abrielle: Now that i'm more aware of it's something that you have it's just something that you have to be aware of but you can't be aware that you're projecting onto people if you aren't aware of your own emotions and i am so aware of myself like I know that this situation happened i'm Reacting poorly to it is this person actually Upset with me or am i projecting my feeling onto them So what i had to learn first was to stop Thinking about maybe they're upset with me maybe they're not because that is just i would spend hours and nights and days Thinking about how i thought the other person felt I think you feel this way not that you Actually feel that way

[01:47:05] Jacob: I think that you think that way or i think that you're thinking these thoughts not that you actually are not that you've actually ever communicated to me that you would be thinking those thoughts or that you've said anything that might hint that you're thinking those thoughts i just think you're thinking them and so i'm just gonna be upset that i think you're thinking something just a huge waste of time and something That took me a long time to get over But now that i don't do that like It's just sounds freeing it's so Freeing it's just a breath of fresh air to just you know like uh i have younger people Who i talk to my brother his friends people in his circle i don't want this person to think this of me so i'm not going to do this or this person i think they're mad at me blah will have whole conversations about what they think this person thinks and i'm like you have no idea you didn't talk to them did they say that then don't be upset about it you know so You have to first understand

[01:48:05] Jacob: What you're feeling to be able to Understand that you're projecting and then i feel like there's even people Who might deny that they're projecting you know like oh they didn't Text me this thing so i know that they are upset but maybe they didn't text that thing because you know they dropped their phone or they are doing something else or literally any other reason in life yeah th this whole like uh Like if you if you wanted me in your Life you would um you would pay attention or you would give me your time or whatever it is it's like man maybe they're just like trying to navigate maybe they like you just fine they enjoy talking to you they enjoy hanging out with you it's just you know they just had some **** they had to take care of or they dropped their phone in a cup of water or whatever you know i'm absolutely guilty Of it where someone will text me and i won't answer for a week and it's not like I don't like you it's not that you're um Not a priority it's not that you know whatever like you

[01:49:05] Jacob: I think that you think it's just it's i open something and then I do something else and i get distracted and that's it and then 10 other people text me that day and then your text goes to the bottom of the list and

[01:49:20] Abrielle: I think about you a week later and then i'm like oh my god i never texted that person back you know what's funny is i feel like the my relationship with all of you guys over in florida is kind of like that um megan and i megan and i have go through these things of like every couple months like we won't talk for a few months and then for the span of a few months we'll basically send postcards back where it's like we're kind of talking about six different subjects and we'll just paragraph them and then Hit send you know like um but it's you know there's nothing that says that just because we have technology and we're available at all times like just because at this very moment i can call you and you could pick up and within three seconds we can be connected through our ears doesn't mean that we need to be giving away our time all the time so i think it's okay actually to not always be available in that way you Know form relationships um where you know it's

[01:50:10] Abrielle: Just an understanding where you and your friend are like hey we just hit each other back every couple days sometimes i don't hit you back but that doesn't mean that you can't hit me with a new subject next week or you know bring it back up it's not that i'm mad it's not that i'm anything a hundred percent yeah we um it's You know navigating this adding technology to Human emotion and what human feeling really is something we got to be patient with ourselves about and forgive ourselves and not be so overly analytical you know i love being overly analytical but when it comes to trying to figure out what other people are thinking good luck

[01:50:43] Jacob: Yeah it also makes me i'm more conscious Of the way i'm communicating now because i'm a very private person But i'm open to being vulnerable So i don't like to Uh talk about what's going on in my life But if you ask me i'm very open uh so Like i want there's been a lot of stuff With work going on and i have to you know obviously do my work but there's a lot of other things in my life that are going on that's preventing me from doing all of my work or doing it as quickly as i wanted to do it and i'm not going to come and be like oh

[01:51:25] Abrielle: I didn't finish it because i have this going on and this going on and this going on and this going on those are all true but i'm just going to get my job done and i'm just gonna do it and i'm not gonna say anything like i keep my stuff to myself i'm not gonna you know shout at the rooftops what i'm doing but if you ask me what i'm doing why i'm doing it how i'm doing it i'm happy to you know talk about it um where did that come From what did you say there was something else i had but i don't remember because i don't know how

[01:51:52] Jacob: I got there you were talking about Um man no i'm spacing it usually i'm Good to give you the cue right away I get that though i mean we're going off going off projection and trying to figure out what other people are thinking about it's communication and then it was um i was talking about being a private person but i'm open um i don't know what that is Whatever um asynchronous this is the end of it yeah um i was talking to my brother recently And he was on the phone with someone while in the Car with me and while he's on the phone he's getting all these notifications and he puts his phone on speaker and it's like hold on i can't talk and then i have to answer all these things and if i if i don't answer they're gonna get mad at me and Okay i can talk now hold on i just got another notification i'm sitting next to him in the car like are we gonna talk what about me

[01:52:52] Jacob: Wow what a stressful life that a lot of young people are feeling the need to live right like how much stress and anxiety Do you have because you think that this is synchronous like it's asynchronous you Don't need to answer you don't it's just like an email it's a text is just like an email unless you're I don't know like i want to say unless You're in a conversation with someone then you know like it's synchronous But even then like if you're saying like what are you up to today I don't have to answer you for hours i can answer later and be like oh i did this i did this i did this would you do today and then you can answer me in two days and be like i don't remember but today i did this like Yeah it doesn't have to be yeah i have

[01:53:35] Jacob: I have one of my friends sweetest soul ever but she was talking it makes me think of um you know she's she was talking to this new guy and there was a moment where she mentioned like so i waited a couple hours to text him back or i waited or whatever and it's like intentionally do that it's like man if you feel like immediately you were excited to talk to them respond as fast as you want bro like don't you don't have to calculate all these things um you don't you it's at the same time you don't have to feel guilty about immediately responding like sometimes dude it's just overwhelm like it's just like man i just don't know if i have i'm not able to be present with what i need to do in my life right now and respond to all these people at this moment and that's okay it's really not a Big deal and most of the time if you're just real with the people on the other end and say like hey i'll hit you back later

[01:54:23] Jacob: Or you know you hit him two days two days after and you're like hey sorry appreciate you waiting whatever it is just be where you are with your attention on that thing I don't even apologize anymore because Like that's just who i am like i'm not going to sit there i Might sit there for a while and text you but like i can't do That i have other things to do and so if i don't answer just assume that i'm going to eventually like right and they get them yeah they get it and So i don't apologize for who i am and i think it's really important to be who you are in all the situations and so For that person who doesn't text back intentionally because they don't want to seem xyz they don't want to seem needy they don't want to seem whatever they want to seem strong they want to seem whatever like you should be exactly who you are In all situations and i learned that i Learned that unfortunately from my last relationship where i was disloyal and i didn't tell him about it and he said i

[01:55:24] Jacob: Much i would have rather you told me so that i could make a decision rather than you making the decision for us and us moving forward based on the decision you made like let me know who you are and what's going on so that i can make the decision for Myself and that really opened the door for me to be to understand that like i'm gonna be Exactly who i am in all situations and everyone else can have their own reaction to it have their own perception of it receive it differently like i'm just gonna be who i am i'm never gonna act like i'm not i'm never gonna act less needy than i am or more needy than i am or like someone that i'm not like i'm always gonna come into a situation there's a lot of times in our work where i'm supposed to email nicely and i don't

[01:56:13] Jacob: And it's just that's not who i am like i'm not gonna act like someone i'm not there's i do a lot of the hard stuff for our company because i'm the person who can do the hard stuff like i have the hard conversations and i crack The whip on the people who need it because that's the kind of person i am i'm not the nice cuddly oh you didn't Do the thing like it's okay we don't need it we just wait for you to do it like there's no i don't have those bones in My body and i'm not gonna act like i do i'm not gonna i'm not gonna apologize for myself i'm not gonna apologize for if in a situation i'm Doing so many things and i forget my manners like i really like to have manners and i that's the part of being well-rounded like i'd like to be a well-mannered person but if i'm just doing so many things and i forget my manners like i'm not gonna say sorry like i just i forgot to say thank you i appreciated whatever you did but i forgot to say

[01:57:07] Jacob: Thank you that's just it is what it is and i really feel that comes with the authenticity that comes with emotional intelligence but it comes from being comfortable with who you are i'm just going to be exactly who i am in every situation all the time right yeah i mean i think the just the term allowing your own authentic authenticity is what comes up like Just allow it this is who i am um i think that you're i think you're i

[01:57:32] Abrielle: Mean i don't know you kind of you paint yourself out to be like some cold hard cold hard mean direct person or something though i feel like you are good at you know even if you are dealing with your own thing and you are still being your authentic self you're still good in those moments at serving the purpose of the person that you're talking to like i feel like you're you like you understand the types of direction that i need in through an email like as like you know because you are it's not so much just like this is exactly black and white how it goes you're dealing with creative people and when you're dealing with art artistic people and creative people you kind of have to have a different approach and i feel like you wrangle that really well you're able to be direct in yourself but As someone who's on the other end of that email as a creative person whose mind just doesn't work exactly how other people's do i feel like you look for that and you account for that

[01:58:27] Abrielle: Well it's like i said i have to understand people who i'm working with and so i have to part of me has to become you i have to think about how you're receiving an email so like there are certain things for different people who i know that work like i know you specifically like a lot of direction and deadlines and so when i give you a deadline and give you here's my vision i know that's helpful for you there are other people um like when i used to send out flight information and things like that i would ask you to approve a flight and then you would say i approve and then i would book your flight what my interpretation of that whole Charade was that when you approved a

[01:59:05] Jacob: Flight i booked it no communication was necessary there was someone else that we worked with that was like it'd be nice to receive like a confirmation email but you did it and i was like i never thought of that i just assumed like i booked your flight you said yes so i did it like why wouldn't you think that i did it But so you know i'm conscious of that and so i send that out for everyone who might need it like i'd haven't talked to everyone but maybe there are other people who also have that concern so i just send one out to everyone and so i'm just very conscious of that with each and every person i talk to is that everyone's different and you have to kind of you have to mold A little bit of yourself in those situations but you should never not be who you are you know love that Love that um Abrielle we're getting up here a little bit in time

[01:59:51] Jacob: I want to ask you two questions to end it off and then after that i want to make sure everybody knows where to find you where to find your next projects kind of what you have going on in your world so the questions that i was thinking of um something that i really enjoy asking other people is What's the legacy that you want to leave like when you think about legacy um like when you leave this earth whenever whatever comes next for you know your life being What's the legacy that you want to live and then also if you don't have to intertwine these questions but you could if you'd like um what does the world need more of Right now um i won't intertwine this and i think My legacy is that i want to be I want to raise kids who are more open More accepting more loving more full of light more emotionally intelligent and you know smart i want to raise those Type of kids I want that energy projected into the World i want my legacy to be just that overall light and positivity

[02:00:52] Jacob: And any positive impact i can have in anyone's life i want that i just want in every situation i Can i want to make someone's life better a piece of the world better any part of Any situation i can better i just feel like i have so much When i feel feelings i feel them so hard When i feel love i'm exploding with love When i feel sadness i'm just so sad when i see Tragedy happen i'm so sad for the people Who are affected by it like i just i feel the energy of everything And so i just want everything to be a Little bit better by my presence i just want to be Able to interject just that little bit of positivity and then what do i think the world needs more of I think the world needs more Um introspectiveness I think more people need to be aware of Themselves aware of what they're doing aware of How what how what they're doing Affects other people aware that What you're doing might affect people and that's not necessarily your problem

[02:02:09] Jacob: Um people react to everything their own way and that could be on themselves but they also need to be aware of how they're reacting and why i think People just i know people who are very Emotionally intelligent and very intelligent people that just kind of don't understand Themselves or maybe suppress themselves or Um you know just they i think that they have feelings that maybe they're not feeling or something um But then i also have people i know that are very they think about things just the same way i do and when we have these conversations it's just about us and our philosophy and why we do things the way that we do So i feel like communication between People will be better if we understand ourselves better more communication more honesty more on

[02:03:00] Abrielle: Authenticity not following these brands not trying to be like you are on social media just loving yourself for who you are and realizing what that means and realizing that to love yourself is to not be a good person all the time and be the best and be you know all these great things that it can you can have flaws and you can be bad at all of these lists of things and like that's who you are i like for instance i know i'm not good at being overly beautiful in my emails and stuff but Like that's who i am and i have to love myself for that i was raised to be a blunt woman and my mom is the same way she will tell you Exactly what she's thinking and that's what how it is with jewish women we're just about it like that so and i love that about myself you know sometimes i get **** for being

[02:03:48] Abrielle: Blatant and too blunt and maybe i said something mean to someone but i'm not gonna apologize for it because that's who i am i need to address maybe like if i do some say something that's insensitive that's something to address that's something to look at and learn from and um analyze but if i'm just Speaking my mind and it's not really hurting anyone's feelings like that's just who i am i'm not gonna apologize for it i think more people need to learn about themselves and i think that'll make everything a little bit easier because When you understand yourself you can understand other people and that's just what we need more it's more understanding Absolutely i'm totally with you on all of those points you Abrielle your perspective is such a gem Um you're i love working with you i feel Like we have a great friendship along with our work relationship um i mean it just

[02:04:41] Abrielle: Like we've all talked about it you know we're definitely missing each other we all work in live events and so um there's a little bit of interaction we've done some virtual stuff but we're all missing each other so um it

[02:04:52] Jacob: Was great to catch up and it was great to hear your perspective i appreciate your perspective and your friendship um Will you go ahead and give the people what's going on in your life um in like your social media handles How can they find you how can they follow more of you So

[02:05:08] Abrielle: I'm really right now i'm just on Instagram find me Abrielle Hayley a b r i e

[02:05:15] Jacob: L e h a y l e y one word all lowercase No special characters that's really all i am that's all i that's all i exist in i try to only exist in that one space i don't have a lot of social media I don't post very much on that so if you really want to get in touch with me send me a dm and maybe actually have a conversation but uh motivational speakers if you uh Yeah motivational speakers i mean that's the same are you looking to work with anybody are you are you in a place of finding new prospects like Yeah i absolutely am um my email for That is elevate me e-l-l-e-b-a-t-e-m-e Gmail. com uh send me an inquiry Anything you wanna work on anything you wanna do i'm i am myself in all platforms so i'm just Going to be if you want to send me a project on my Instagram we can talk there if you want to send me an email we can talk there Instagram has phone calls now so if you can you want to facetime me on Instagram Whatever you want to do i'm about it

[02:06:18] Outro: So um cool awesome Yeah well thanks for being here um Reach out people you know like if you if you want to work together it's a it's a good thing that we have here you know like i just imagine You know in 10 years like you Continue pursuing all these things that you're pursuing continuing your work ethic continually improving like this guy is the limit for you i think that's absolutely the truth Yeah uh listeners i hope you have a good Day i hope you work out not just to burn some calories or get in shape for that vacation coming up i hope that you work Out to feel good to do your best to live a self-actualized life i hope that you're drinking water and not making any excuses for yourself about this dang water thing Figure out what works for you with your diet be aware What's your posture like right now did i mention drink water yeah sit up straight stop this hunching thing that's happening

[02:07:17] Outro: Yeah it's funny i always mention those like at the beginning in the end of the podcast because i have a lot of friends who have told me like dude i'll you say it and it brings it to my awareness and all i said i'm like oh Yeah i need to sit up straighter oh i actually haven't drank any water so it's all stuff that helps abbrel thanks Again i appreciate you thank you jake all Right have a good rest of your day listeners i still didn't finish Knowledge is power