The JYLP ep 096 with Jordenelle Tsugawa - The Forever Umbilical Cord, And Grand-Mother Ayahuasca

[00:00:48] Intro: Knowledge is power reality is and professional like this and you got like your headset on I know I'm like a pilot actually maybe you are uh for some people that's true yeah in multiple ways actually yeah pilot is a is a multi-dimensional term really too because there's like a like pilot in your oven too as well right to heat it up and the first episode of shows a pilot right big flight who's the driver

[00:01:37] Jordenelle: Oh I love that I'm so excited to be here

[00:01:40] Jacob: Yeah I'm so excited to see you um I mean yeah let's just I mean we'll crank it so uh you've been on the podcast before so people can definitely go check out those um and I also think it's like exciting to go see just you and me both are growth I'm sure that we've like expanded so much since even those episodes you know like just within the last few years so like we've been you know throughout throughout this journey I feel like of self-exploration and trying to like serve people and whatever that means to us and I feel like you and I always every few months we intertwine and we have like these intense like synchronistic moments through Instagram messages and meeting up and stuff so yeah it's always beautiful so um I will definitely include like a bio of yours so people can kind of get filled in on who you are and what your background is and kind of what's what led you here so assume that is below you um but otherwise like how are you Jay what have you been up to what's going on

[00:01:40] Jordenelle: Thank you so much yeah the witnessing your girl with those dresses especially from where we come from so

[00:02:39] Jordenelle: Those of you who don't know us we've been we've seen each other in it you know I met Jake at a house party I think I was like 15. and I remember this like it was yesterday I can like go back to that memory and we both actually connected because our parents were in recovery are still currently using so we kind of had that like we know what it's like to have parents of substance abuse you know so I feel like even though we were I was drinking and quote lost I feel like our connection has always been like solid you know even before we knew what solid meant as connections I feel like in the beginning when he said that growth is so true because when you live where we live a lot of people don't get out of it they don't grow I live where we live and it's I witness people who never exit the cement the dandelions that never sprout in that cement you know and I feel like for us we are those dandelions that you see in between those cracks especially coming from Longview Kelso area where it's not really the energy doesn't really support and nourish growth for thinking outside the box right they kind of want

[00:03:47] Jordenelle: Us to follow XYZ work at the Mill until you die this is just the way it is you know you were there you were at the Mill weren't you like you kind of were like

[00:03:56] Jacob: Yeah and I remember like you've been making music and I'm like this is your full-time job like go for it like I've always seen that in you like the entrepreneurship and like just the growth really comes from being an entrepreneurship like leading that ship of service which you kind of touched on and how I'm doing is just being of service with every single connection I have that's why the celestian prophecy I recommend it to you because it's really crazy that book is just getting into your awareness because that book completely changed my life um it's a true story but it's all about being of service and being open to being of service and what I mean by that service doesn't mean you have to be in the service industry right it's actually checking out at a gas station and looking them in the eyes and being like how are you feeling today that's service like it gives me goosebumps because yeah like it's like that to me is being of service going on here and talking about being of service like I've personally I'm in the service

[00:05:02] Jordenelle: Industry you know as a full-time Reiki practitioner water la right my job how I get paid is to be of service but I also choose to be of service with every interaction I have like I literally and I believe that everyone that I come in contact with they have a message for me truly if you like don't look at what they're look like get out of like how people are like presented and like I go like what does this person have to actually offer me and the book talks about that everyone that you meet there's a message there and when he's in the keys it's kind of like we're on like this map like life like right like Ford life and everyone you meet is like if it doesn't matter what their role is we each have you know when you're really in tune and you're really connected to the consciousness of Oneness which I am I realize everyone I'm seeing is myself so what does myself have to teach myself you know it's like this constant mirror this constant like reflection and I've noticed since I really honored and accepted the Oneness that I don't get triggered by people's actions anymore yeah I'm like oh well I mean I feel like when you show

[00:06:16] Jordenelle: Up and you're really here with someone like you know someone who's you're out of capture you know you go to a gas station a convenience store and that person is going through the motions and they're thinking about their own thing and everyone's just like yeah hello hey how are you and it's just no eye contact and it's just the money exchange whatever boom they don't exchange energy and then suddenly you get like someone like you or I in there and we're like how are you really hi and and they're just uh you know in a so I what's interesting and I'm I'm over halfway through of the uh Celestine process I mispronouncing it the book that you recommended um is it Celestine process or celestian tomato yeah whatever um but yeah no it is the synchronistic nature of everything involved in that book is just mind-blowing I've been so excited to talk to you about it just because you recommended it in a synchronistic way because I had this like amazing conversation the night before with a co-worker who mentioned it and um it's just been a while but so something that I was talking with that same co-worker that relates back to this situation of us going to the convenience

[00:07:18] Jordenelle: Store and kind of being able to pull someone out of um their loops and their cycles of our uh who we think ourselves to be when you show up in a situation from a place of service you're not thinking about yourself I think the biggest thing you're blocking synchronicities when you're thinking about yourself and that seems like well what do you mean by that but I think that you'll notice if you walk around in life um and you feel like you're not connecting with people you're not having these synchronicities are you thinking about yourself what is the loot playing are you feeling sorry for yourself are you trying to benefit yourself are you trying to how do I get what I want so I can be this so I can feel this that thing that you're trying to feel in the end if you keep asking yourself these questions why am I thinking about myself it's just here it's just being with people that you're meeting you're trying to arrive at a place where you're not neurotically just constantly thinking about yourself so the active service I would love to expand on service Jay because I have come um though I was I think I was mentioning about it the last like month

[00:08:22] Jordenelle: Or so maybe a little bit longer um I've actually come back around to like re-reading some like Christianity type stuff and listening to like some I'm coming to an understanding I used to have such a block about it and I was I love all this Eastern philosophy and I'm like that's the way and recently I've like come full circle to understand what's being said in like Christian and I feel like service is so big but I think it's often misunderstood um yes in a lot of these so yeah I want to I want to talk a little bit more about service what do you have to expand on that yeah it's interesting so I never grew up religious I've been to church like a few times I had too many questions honestly that couldn't be answered which I know that's probably common um but I'm also not a follower let's just put that out there and I and anything I do I feel like I'm always like trying to just be myself and I felt that I feel like when it comes to the Christian you know this is going to be triggering for a lot of people who are quote unquote maybe brainwashed we are taught that service is to get to

[00:09:20] Jordenelle: Somewhere better after this life and sometimes with that Christian mindset they're serving for the afterlife they're thinking well where am I going because they have that well if I'm bad I'm going to hell I'm good and then they have they have that so when you're coming a place to be of service from the idea that you're gonna go somewhere better after this you might not be in alignment do you know what I mean I'm giving this person ten dollars because Jesus up there is keeping track of XYZ of my good deeds like it's Santa Claus I'm a naughty nice list or something to me that's not being of service if you're donating and you're showing it and you're like I don't hate it you're that's for yourself that's not actually to me so I sat with that because like what are the intentions of service and to me um I know when I sat with Ayahuasca one of my intentions with the medicine was uh I get chills talking about it I was like I'm here to be of service I've always known that you know I went into nursing trying to be of service unfortunately it wasn't in alignment I don't um agree with a lot of Western medicine

[00:10:23] Jordenelle: Um I didn't feel of service in that

[00:10:25] Jacob: Right so if I don't feel enough service even though it's a service job I don't feel like it's in service for me then I'm doing a disservice well that's another thing with service to me is is it actually in alignment with how you are supposed to serve because we all serve in different ways some of us are messengers right like some of us are literally here to speak to spread messages some people are really here to wash dogs and that's them being of service they love animals so much like so whatever it is like I feel like we often get caught up and like what am I here to do what's my purpose oh we get so caught I've been there in that Loop like how am I supposed to serve and it's like ask ask literally that's what I did and I mean I

[00:11:12] Jordenelle: Mean Reiki to me is full of service because I'm just connecting people to whatever it is up there out there in there and to me being of service like to sum it up is really serving the Consciousness to elevate the vibrational frequency of every single thing I come in contact with if that's planting a seed in the garden it's not always with physical people that I'm being of service with right it's feeding the birds at my house right it's emptying the it's emptying the pond and putting new water in for the frogs to grow in healthy water it's cutting Ivy off a tree to help that grow because that tree can't do it itself to me being of service is fully being lit up because I'm a light worker um to me being of service is being authentic so I can help other people be authentic by just being me being of service is also staying true to myself and the best thing that you can do if you're listening to this right I don't even know what to do is focus on your own vibration at first be a little selfish if you need to tell you because you can't be of service if you don't have

[00:12:25] Jordenelle: Any light with it if you're dimmed oh sorry go ahead what does that mean focus on your own vibration what does that mean okay so focus on your own vibration so I'm all about where he is Reiki is an ancient style Japanese technique for stress reduction relaxation essentially I'm channeling the universe through my body that sounds insane I know it's still freaking I still don't get it I but I do it people come up people show up I'm like here I am that to me is being of service but vibrational frequency everything is vibration everything is vibration and I look I not me I don't look I have the inner awareness that this computer screen this microphone the tea I'm drinking has a vibration in it

[00:13:09] Jacob: Right I mean I'm sure you've seen like the water the water things when you have one water it says I hate you a note in it and the other water says I love you that water that says I hate you molds doesn't grow the other water grows just with a piece of paper with words on it so vibration to me is and keeping your vibration in alignment and high is that's your personal responsibility until you can master that or at least have some awareness of that it's hard to serve other people because you're doing a disservice to your own frequency once you can tap into your own vibration what I mean by your own vibration is what are your thoughts if it's constantly negative it's really hard to even hear how you can be of service like you're kind of mentioning how if you're looping around in that neurotic like me it's really hard to be of service for me I don't know how to describe it was just like I just am of service like it's like it's like this something happens where you just shift into it like you said like you don't even know it's happening sometimes like it really does just shift into it and to me about my vibration is

[00:14:18] Jacob: Just being pure hearted really coming from the heart space and whatever that looks like for you if there's some wounds in there if there's some hurt in there it's gonna be also hard to open up because being of service means that whatever you connect with shoots through your body um my inner voice like talk to that person I don't want it well I'm embarrassed I don't give up like go talk to that person yeah what is that why is there that thing saying go talk to that person like why is there that little feeling you know in the different times in our lives we're a little more in tune little less in tune I think we can all resonate with some sort of like yeah I feel like this sort of thing and I feel like things are acting in my favor um and I feel like I'm meeting these people whatever and then you know maybe go through some times where you don't have any of that and you're like what's going on and life seems a little little maybe gray or um something I think you could like look back and go oh I was I was thinking about myself or maybe I was caught in my story again

[00:15:18] Jordenelle: Something really amazing that I love in this The Celestine prophecies so whatever um uh is the um like there's this emphasis subtly it inadvertently kind of like they painted beautifully on healing our childhood trauma okay and um but I really loved the expansion of it I love hearing every different view of this like I was just talking with some friends the other day um and I found myself trying to explain childhood trauma and I was going to like Gabor mate and um a couple of these intellectuals that like have written these books on trauma but I found myself wanting to really expand the definition of look it doesn't mean that you were just like you know when you were a defenseless child an adult you know physically harmed you or an adult sexually assaulted you or you were neglected or your parents had to work all the time and you never saw them and you had to raise your sisters or whatever it is you know essentially there is a pattern a belief system um that you were taught to survive like you learned this is how humans learn how to survive and adapt and belong in the world okay so if I in order to get

[00:16:28] Jacob: Love which is part of our being we want to feel love it's part of what moves us forward is what moves us forward we find these we're pattern seeking machines so we see our parents we're like oh okay well I did this I said this that didn't give me love I did this I said this that got me love okay you have this pattern and it will follow you through your whole life in the huge the huge thing is is that I was trying to expand with my friends was kind of like we all have childhood trauma let's say that everyone has something from their childhood some structure that could use unwinding that could use a second look because it might be blocking you it might be the reason why you're neurotically looping and you can't talk to these people at the convenience store um so it's so I don't know I think um childhood trauma seems like this closed door to so many people because they're like whoa like you know it seemed like my life was okay like my parents loved me

[00:17:24] Jordenelle: Um you know I still I'm still friends with my pair I'm talking to my parents so like I don't really want to go around saying I have childhood trauma and I just want to invite those people you know like don't wall this off you know these these terms like childhood trauma they're it's not there's no gatekeeping here it's essentially as humans we're discovering and we're using different words and maybe some people have more severity than others or whatever but the worst thing you've ever been through is the worst thing you've ever been through so you can learn at whatever age as an adult you can look back and go huh maybe I'm not in alignment or maybe there's things that are no longer serving me that I that I can unwind so and that's part part of the process like so I think things like um you know people like you and I seem to be helping people understand and teach these things within themselves um so what does that does that resonate with you Jay um this thought of childhood trauma yeah and you know even deeper than that you want to get into DNA and ancestral trauma the wounds you know when you're in your mom's womb you

[00:18:27] Jordenelle: Got your grandma's eggs on you that science you might not have trauma did your mom did your did your grandma have trauma I mean I think all of America and all of this world can say yeah it was pretty tough back then that's in US do you know what I mean so yeah childhood trauma if you're like oh my like how he you know you're saying like oh my life was good getting yelled at in preschool is trauma like it doesn't always have to be from parents it can be from outside stuff like feeling left out feeling neglected

[00:19:00] Jacob: Right all of those wait like you're mentioning like there's so many ways it comes up and it shows up and as someone who again does energy work I've never had anyone on my table that I haven't cleared or felt some sort of childhood trauma I've done over hundreds of sessions and it might not always be in this life and those of you who maybe don't are new to that like I believe I know I've lived thousands of if not hundreds of thousands of lives and the DNA is a staircase everyone that's walked before us is walking in our DNA right now you know I'm someone who focuses a lot on ancestral clearing ancestral healing I do sweat once a month I call in a different ancestor and I clear that trauma okay on to the next we have seven generations behind us minimum and seven before us so something else of being of service is I don't have children yet if I don't know I haven't decided yet um I'm working for Seven Generations before me you know I have a lot of

[00:20:00] Jordenelle: People coming to you I don't know if I'm a good mom if I'm like are you being a better mom than how you were raised yes then you're doing it so that's just a tip for the moms out there like my trauma I'm causing trauma if you're doing better than your mom you're doing it right easy on yourself be easy yeah you're doing okay yeah but the trauma thing yeah it's um the pattern and I like how you mentioned like patterns and Cycles because one of my gifts is I have the ability to actually recognize when people are in a cycle in a pattern really easily like looping like it's almost like I can see especially if the chakras are wheels

[00:20:36] Jacob: Right so I can see where the stories are circulating at and I can actually pinpoint what chakra that story is sitting in and I can actually pinpoint how that story activates this and activates that and how when we're constantly talking about our trauma too like personally I used to do this like talk therapy yeah yeah but sometimes like let's just get it out of the body like I mean for real and you're like how do I do that go lay in the forest go scream right go to go find energy work go to meditation go to DNA stuff look at what you're eating like a lot of times I find that people don't get better one because I don't look for the help but two because I don't even know that trauma is sitting in there like looping like looping looping around like especially women in the womb if you had a traumatic birth like there's so many ways that trauma shows up and it affects what I was going back to in the beginning is your vibration that trauma is secondary to a feeling so sometimes like you said we're pattern Seekers I really like that because we are but we're also if you are sensitive and you're empathetic empath meaning you

[00:21:50] Jacob: Can feel stuff if you feel someone else has trauma in their body and you're an

[00:21:55] Jordenelle: Empath and you don't know how to protect yourself you're transferring that into your body and then you're like oh my God what's going on I don't feel good that person like we can go into like how to protect your energy because I know personally I used to just suck everyone's trauma out of their body for them and then go home and transmute it like this started happening when I was a child I know I've been I was depressed most of my life but looking back I'm like probably was I was just not even yours exactly yes I was like that girl at the party that's like having those like deep conversations with someone I just met and I'm listening and like people are crying like you know like have you ever met someone you're like wow I feel so comfortable I want to tell you my whole life I'm the person on the other side

[00:22:40] Jordenelle: Yeah I've actually always had that and when we're like that and if you're like that and you're listening it's because one we've been through a lot but two because we can actually hold genuine space and three our energetic design is actually it's a type of energy it's called a transmuter so every soul everybody has different energetic gifts I believe everyone's psychic I believe everyone has sensitivities we all are different some are blocked right gene expression yada I can go deep into that but some of us have the role of being a transmuter so Jake and I are transmuters and what I mean by that is we have this innate gift whether we are aware of it or not where people are actually talking to us trauma because one the soul has an inner awareness that our soul can [ __ ] process it right yeah so as our job is to one Listen Hold space but three not take it on I think of it as like a like a like a filtration system for the for the and that's another way I serve I listen and I filter it and then it's gone it's a talk about it let's get it out it's done get out of the DNA when I sat with

[00:23:52] Jordenelle: Ayahuasca I saw all my DNA like a freaking movie and she's like cut cut this out cut that out cut this out

[00:24:01] Jacob: Oh yeah this happened when you were three it's still messing you up cut it out like the in the way DNA replicates right it just it's four letters our DNA is made up of four freaking letters it's three blocks codons the way it replicates a protein goes on top of a DNA it rips it in half and it just slides across but if you cut the trauma out DNA cellular healing the trauma won't get recreated it won't be in the DNA so what I was seeing on an energetic level and something else that I recommend is DNA cellular healing epigenetics it's finally getting caught up that our DNA changes with our environment yep is epigenetics is like amazing and I'm so excited for the future of epigenetics and also just what it what is here now I actually have had profound understandings in um uh um I feel I got into like a few years ago I got into epigenetics this guy uh there's Joe dispenza Greg Braden and Bruce Lipton Bruce Lipton is a genetic guy yeah I don't know if you've read any of his Jay but um yeah he really changed my perspective on epgenetic because I I think we grow up thinking that there's things like hereditary or genetics or um

[00:25:19] Jacob: You hear everybody say it like they're I I was man I have this example um I was working with these people I was basically working with this older gentleman and his son who was uh like 2021 was working with us as well and uh the way that I perceive people's interactions I don't get into their business unless I'm invited in so I didn't say anything to these people mind you but um the most clear 100 clearest day display of like a trauma the way that his dad was talking down to him the way that he was condescending him the way that the young child would interact and then I would hear these conversations like he would jump he'd like jumped down off the stage and then

[00:25:58] Jordenelle: Said something about his knee and arthritis and his dad goes yep you're gonna have arthritis just like me like there was just this exchange between these two and I'm from the outside going oh no stop saying like hell yeah there was I almost had to resist the temptation I actually had to like because I started to feel a little bit of um I don't know if I was maybe taking on the energy or something I started feeling like a little bit anger like this guy like he needs to not talk to someone like that let alone his son like he's harming his son and he doesn't know you know I kept my mouth shut was it this wasn't a situation where I was invited to an interject but I think that we get so caught up with these stories of hereditary genetics we forget about genetic expression we forget this a lot of who we are is learned by like I was saying ages zero to seven you're watching the people around you oh I don't get love from this here's how I get this I get approval from this when I cry I get this when I don't cry I get this and we will go about our life like that and we call

[00:26:55] Jordenelle: That hereditary often we call that we don't see it as something we have control over unwinding um and I think that yeah epigenetic expression like what strands of your DNA are you activating yeah and are you accepting that okay well my dad said this and so that's truth you're turning it on yeah like what genes are you turning on isn't that an incredible thing to think that we have power over that I mean what a what a terrifying thing at the same time like a lot of people might hear that and go whoa I don't want that like wait so what I what I think about and what I learn is is my responsibility and it's like yeah

[00:27:32] Jacob: Yeah in a sense you can you know oh my gosh yeah that just brings me back to that story I told you about it's just kind of deep this is woo-woo as it gets but when um it's all about DNA though so I love all that and even the word unwinding you know in second before I forget I maybe you were witnessing that experience because maybe that's how your dad treated you and you were witnessing that and you were healing that moment within yourself and you didn't realize it and that anger you felt is that inner child witnessing that and someone else oh that's something worth oh I'm gonna sit with that I like that came through yeah see maybe I was yeah oh wow okay interesting yeah okay yeah sorry that's what I saw when I was seeing so many people tell me stories I actually can go to that event and witness it from a higher point I don't know if that makes sense met a perspective yeah is that what it's called yeah cool so yeah yeah that's right that's what I call it but yeah um so uh seven years ago like my

[00:28:33] Jordenelle: Awakening happened Kundalini um I'm in Pal's book and this book flies off the shelf like I'm not kidding like literally flies off the shelf I'm like

[00:28:42] Jacob: Okay this book I'm gonna buy it's called we the arcterians I'm like oh okay it was like 500 pages I'm like I meant I go back home nursing school at this time so I'm in Tri-Cities and I'm in my bed and I'm reading this book but I don't even want to say I'm reading it I'm like absorbing it like I've never read a book before like that like it was like like 500 pages I like I just and it's what the book is it's a it's a direct channeling from arterians arterians are believed to be on the 5D but spaceship they're in our Sky you can see them it's one of the brightest star constellations arcturians or anyway and the book is channeling from them from a lady in New Mexico and so it's all the art so it's written from arterians think of it like that whether you resonate or not those of you but it's pretty much an arcturian is writing this book everything that was in there was so true for me they're explaining how arterius is they're explaining how they are they're explaining how they are with procreation they're explaining like the vibration they're talking about healing they're talking about sound they're talking about how they do school like

[00:29:54] Jacob: So many things that they talk about like that their species is about is how I've always felt because when I when I'm on earth like I'm not gonna lie to you guys I look around and I'm like I don't understand sometimes why I'm here I know why I'm here but sometimes I'm like I know I'm not from here so I really do resonate with being a starseed we can dive into that too but anyway I'm reading this whole book it's like 500 pages on a game after I read it's probably like 3 A. M right when all the beautiful things happen in life and I like go into a trance I'm not trying to I'm not like meditating like it was just like and I could tell I was like Lucid or acid asteroid kind of pre I don't know how to describe it I was aware that I wasn't sleeping or awake it's kind of

[00:30:38] Jordenelle: Like we know when you can't move your body but it's not like sleep paralysis scary it's just like you're in that like kind of like in between and this fit

[00:30:45] Jacob: Yeah and this figure comes to me blue like arctarians have blue skin and he's just like in my awareness like floating in front of me but it's like more like a vibrating like it's not like I see like an alien being like in my house with like a spaceship even though lights were kind of going off but it was

[00:31:03] Jordenelle: Just like this like figure out silhouette thing and I was like kind of like vibrating like light because if you're from 5D it's just light vibrations it's not always like aliens are coming it's like no it's a frequency and he's like vibrating with me and he shows me my DNA the reason I'm bringing sucks this is about DNA he's showing me my DNA which you guys know it's double helix spiral strand so it's they can't see me doing that but it's spiraled right and the way DNA gets replicated is it actually rips apart

[00:31:30] Jacob: Right and then it copies what's there so he was literally I was seeing my DNA get ripped apart by this being and he was replacing it with gold Golden Light and he would to me and after the and then the next morning I look on my mirror which my mirror was facing my bed which you should not have your mirrors facing your bed by the way it's a portal

[00:31:53] Jordenelle: But anyway I didn't know that at the time and on my mirror and I can post this picture the left hand corner which is crazy because the day before I cleaned my mirror and I lived alone at this time there was like three like fingerprints but they weren't mine it was like and then above it there was like above it but they weren't and it was kind of like triangle shaped so it was like kind of like human print and then above right above those was like triangle shaped fingerprints I put my fingers next to it those things were way bigger so I was like they and to me that means yeah we were here what you saw wasn't like all woo-woo in your meditative State like that was here just in case you woke up today and wanted to forget about that you know like no dude it kind of put me into a psychosis and like it might be my wake up my Awakening wasn't gentle you guys like my Awakening was like uh my Kundalini woke oh my gosh my Kundalini like was self-inflicted I didn't do it on purpose it just and I like was in nursing school at this time I was taking

[00:32:55] Jordenelle: A lot of Adderall like I was like live by myself like just nursing school textbooks like super textbooky nursy like am I Awakening happened and then I was like I am in a simulation like my Awakening was harsh I'm like I'm in a simulation none of this is real what am I doing here like I was never suicidal but I was like jump off a bridge what's gonna happen like I got to those intrusive thoughts of like is this real like am I real I'd look in the mirror I'm like who is this after my Kundalini Awakening like I didn't recognize who was in the mirror and it scared I don't want to say it scared me but it put me into kind of like a really alone headspace because I was still going in nursing school I was showing up like but no one knew what was going on I was spending all my time alone I was either in class studying or at my house like meditating like I just started to be upset I quit eating meat I just started running I started doing a sauna I was reading and I just started to meditate constantly like it just started to organically happen and I just felt like I was in a

[00:33:56] Jordenelle: Dream like it just started to happen so after the DNA thing and all that sort of stuff happening I started to remember past lives being on these other planets and I started to really tap into like well I'm not supposed to be a nurse I kept doing it anyway because I was already in that program yada but I knew I wasn't going to be a nurse that long I knew and I know to this day it sounds really insane to the outside looking in but I'm here to speak to people to awaken DNA and to bring awareness of who you really are at the core everyone has Stardust DNA we're all Cosmic I mean come on like we come into a freaking womb yeah follow the umbilical cord and keep following it you know like it's not that far-fetched to be incarnated on other planets like Earth isn't that old to me anyway and so when I realized I'm like okay like I have lived on other planets like that's real like I remember like when I was younger I would just lay I slept outside like that was my safe space my home wasn't safe so I slept outside a lot and I would just stare at the stars and I'm like

[00:35:10] Jordenelle: I'm ready to go back like I remember being little like saying that to the Stars like so those of you who ever are if you are a starseed and you don't know that yet and you don't feel like you fit in just find your tribe find other people that you connect with because that's how I felt at home was I started to actually meet other star seeds I started to meet other people who never felt like Earth was home and never wanted to be here and it felt homesick how can you feel homesick from a place you don't even remember it's that inner longing of home that we don't even know and remember that we have a tangent but no it's beautiful and I actually want to talk more about your Awakening experience I actually just a couple days ago recorded like sat down hit record and said I had a spiritual awakening four to five years ago here's what happened and I'm gonna try to tell you about it without using words like God and whatnot and it was like it is it was difficult to watch I think I want to try to get him maybe it was just a rough draft but um uh but but uh yeah the Awakening

[00:36:12] Jordenelle: Experience I it's interesting you talked about like you know so I think there's this innate part of you that knows like okay I'm a Healer I want to help people like that seems like without even intellectualizing that's just like you're almost working from I have this feeling that is the capital T truth I'm trying to catch my intellect up to it where do I look we look around in our society says be a nurse be a doctor you can heal that's the way you heal when you have a I'm a Healer and our society has an answer intellectually of well we have this system set up for you it's called being a nurse and I think that

[00:36:44] Jacob: Yeah like that's part of your Awakening too of going into it and going you know ramdas um he was a psychologist at uh was it Stanford Harvard whatever um and he he talks about so elegantly where he's at this place he's at these like he's got yeah like he's looking around he's like he's like surely somebody has it all figured out like you know you keep doing these courses you do these psychology degrees he's meeting with these other psychologists he's he says um he's like I have a nice BMW I have a nice house he's like I have my pilot's license he's like supposed to know it all and somehow he's basically described he's looking around and like somehow still nobody knows like they don't know it like they're we're all just playing this game of being a psychologist and Rhonda started to become aware of that you know and then I think that's you know his path soon led into he met up with Timothy Leary and they tried psychedelics and he lost his not only his body in that s in that experience of taking mushrooms but he also lost his identity he lost um being a psychologist being a professor um and he had to what is there left you

[00:37:55] Jacob: Know and he had he had to sit in that and that's like kind of been his path path to God but um yeah so I think that um you know everything that happens to us is so it's so intertwined it's so interconnected and sometimes it doesn't

[00:38:09] Jordenelle: Feel like it when you're going through it sometimes it's like even now if someone's sitting here trying to think of their traumas going oh that was supposed to happen to me yeah are you sure it's like I'm sorry yeah you chose it yeah you chose that's dude and I love I have loved coming to an understanding of that as well um uh Karma and reincarnation took me a long time to wrap my head around to wrap them well it took me a long time to get my head out of the way um uh because there is this okay so listener contemplate this even just like not even me trying to tell you this is this is how it is but just contemplate a what if what if before what if before you came here you had a conversation with everyone in your life with your parents with everything you said hey look I want Spiritual Development just like you this is our purpose what's going to give me that and you shake hands with your parents as Souls and they say all right I'm gonna do that and you're gonna do that and you say all

[00:39:12] Jacob: Right fist pump boom you shot into you're born you know you come out

[00:39:17] Jordenelle: And there's light and you're at the hospital and uh and that and you've just gone through the veil of forgetting as some call it you know um and you don't remember any of that handshake but now your task is Spiritual Development your reincarnation here is to have trauma and quarrels and um things happen with your parents with your family with the people that you interact with your life with your Society with your city with your state with your with your world and your job is to somehow stay above water to navigate and like try and be clear-eyed and understand it so you can now help other people who have the same handshake afterwards um uh I guess that was a bit of a change I'm not sure what I was circling but I love that yeah and I actually have a reincarnation story personal one that's trippy as yeah all of that so those of you again reincarnation if that's new for you like I'm just about to just so um I was like three years old and I'm going up to my grandma my dad's mom who her and I had like a really good connection like from birth when I was born she saw angels around me like she

[00:40:27] Jordenelle: We just have a really tight knit connection and I'm three years old I'm at her house I'm like popping around and I like go up to her and I like tap her stomach and she's like what I said remember when I was in your belly and she's like no you're in your mom's belly and I'm like yeah before that and I'm three okay she's like I'm like before that and she's like no honey you've only been in your mom's belly like your mom and I'm like forget it well my Grandma had a baby die of SIDS and her name was Jamie and that baby died at four months old June 6th name j-a-y-m-e why do people call me Jay my name is Jordenelle so

[00:41:13] Jacob: Yeah interesting the connected nature like so it could literally be an agreement that you had like

[00:41:21] Jordenelle: And I chose and I chose my mom so my mom and dad like they had sex like not that much and I actually remember going in to my mom's womb wow like I actually have that I had that awareness of um going within and I actually remember I've done so much like um healing with within the womb because like something else about trauma is oh the waters you were birthed in like the Waters of the womb what words were around you when you were in your mom's womb so for me personally no one knew I was in there for seven months I was grown and hiding I think 11 months and they did she didn't know if she was pregnant no my mom was 16 and she just avoided it and the first thing when she did tell someone the first thing was go get an abortion so the first thing upon finding out I'm in there and yeah my mom goes into the clinic and they tell her you know you have a week to decide and she's and I remember that I've gone back in meditation and I actually remember being in her womb in the clinic with her and she said she's in the clinic and she

[00:42:30] Jordenelle: Said that she just felt this like no I can't I can't do that again if you've had an abortion like there's no judgment this is just like an experience that my mom went through and my mom birthed naturally I was due the date that they said um she was about to go to work that day like my mom worked until she's at Birth so that's another thing like how our mothers held US during pregnancy also affects us it's not just childhood it's like even your birth your birth story affects you right like you did you get a breastfeed with your mom right how was your mom's mental health when you were breastfeeding how was your mom does she have postpartum I invite you to ask your moms like how was your birth did you connect with me right away my mom didn't connect with me right away my mom actually you know she wouldn't be able to say this but my Mom hated herself so she hated me my dad left her the day I was born so I was kind of like that baby in the crib that just like got pushed hmm so again my mom and I've done so much healing together we're like I said we did Ayahuasca

[00:43:33] Jordenelle: Together to actually heal generational curses so beautiful like that's so amazing D but when you're talking about trauma and you're talking about like stuff like that ask your parents like how the birth was did you want to get conceived right or were you whoops all that intention that's why we talk about conscious conception like so when I do have a child I plan to be very conscious about who I'm bringing in the soul that wants to come through who is it you're gonna be birthed in love whatever Soul decides to come into my womb I've been prepping for but I've also like when you're being intimate with your partner and you're trying to have a child calling in a con a soul is going through me that trips me ah dude that's why I haven't had a kid yet I'm like I'm respond like what yeah what greater responsibility to take on though you know that's why I haven't because I'm like I'm not there yet I wouldn't know I wouldn't be so sure about that I mean I don't know I think you I think you'd be in a great position um but I would like to so I have actually heard this Loops right back around I have actually heard I

[00:44:47] Jordenelle: Can't recall who somebody on a podcast talks about they had an Ayahuasca trip and uh in there like their purging was so intense and the big thing that they came out with was they um it was they had a difficult birth like when they were birthed into this world through their mother it was either umbilical cord wrapped around the neck um you know these were they couldn't breathe right away and that alone had like traumatized them throughout their life and they had this on everything yeah they had all these issues and they never knew they had no idea like it wasn't even like a known thing in their family like oh yeah you had a difficult birth you got the umbilical cord Raptor in your neck I think it was like something he had to just ReDiscover but he basically had all these like mental uh quarrels that were harming him in his life affecting him from being the highest version of himself he takes Ayahuasca and mother Ayahuasca is like you were traumatized from your birth canal and uh you know here's how you deal with it you know whatever and he was able to expand it and like come through on the other side and speak about it so there's just these things

[00:45:49] Jordenelle: That are underlying the surface that we may have no we you know we want to put our intellect around them and try to here's what happened you know but there's I mean things you have to really be open to hear them so um I would love to Jay yeah when you had told me this uh about a while back ago you had an experience with Mother Ayahuasca you traveled across the world and you did Ayahuasca with your mother so I would love to I would love to treat this um if some someone's tuning in right now

[00:46:17] Jacob: Yes if they've never if they've maybe

[00:46:19] Jordenelle: Kind of heard Ayahuasca they're like oh it's like a psychedelic like some sort of like you trip out or something can we start from like someone who really doesn't know anything about this and invite them in and then share whatever you're willing to share I'm so I'm so excited to hear about this yeah so okay Ayahuasca okay so I went to the Amazon which when I was about 11 12 I'm like I'm going to the Amazon to do Ayahuasca so I've always had this innate

[00:46:43] Jacob: Yeah this innate connection with

[00:46:45] Jordenelle: Ayahuasca um Ayahuasca is considered to be grandma of the planet Grandma Spirit um it's actually a Vine and the way they found the vine is they heard it talk to them they actually found it through mapacho which is father grandfather which is tobacco so Ayahuasca and tobacco are married Union so you actually like smoke a lot of tobacco when you're with sitting with Aya because they're together so think about everything as having a spirit

[00:47:18] Jacob: Right plants have spirits think about just think of it that way and this Vine like Divine we're connecting to Divine the tree of life it makes sense that this medicine is a vine and it's underground and the vine talked to these people and said hey I'm here to heal the world essentially this is what you do because you can't just eat the vine like it's not like a mushroom where you actually pull it up and you brew it for like 48 Hours like it's a process like she they really had to be connected and she gave instructions for how to do it's not like pick the vine eat the vine you're high yeah there's basically these two different things that are at different sides of the Jungle and they basically were given guidance to like hey you have to combine these things together because our stomach our microbiome does not process the DMT without this other part of it itself and so like even if we just take the Iowa or the one part of it that we think has the psychoactive effects it does not affect our system without this other piece so yeah super ceremonial like so I did it in a tribe with the shapibo tribe who

[00:48:23] Jordenelle: Have been in the Amazon since the beginning they speak shapibo so that's another thing if you are interested in Ayahuasca I highly suggest going to the Amazon because yeah you can do it in the States but you really want to be protected like uh uh yeah you want to be with shamans let me just leave it at that so anyway there I lost this essentially it's you're actually yeah you're hallucinating but they actually say that's a distraction so if you find yourself like frying and you're like going on all these Vision quests that's actually a distraction you're not actually supposed to follow that you're actually supposed to live so in the middle of the trip um I guess I'll start from the beginning so you have to go on a dieta so 30 to 60 days before you can even sit with Aya no marijuana no tobacco no caffeine no meat no sugar no salt no spices like you got to be intentional With Your Vessel you don't have to but at people that didn't follow the dieta I could tell because they were not having a very good experience um because our vessels are the temple that the medicine sits in right so they're going to go in there and kind of

[00:49:32] Jordenelle: Clear it all out so you are in a maloka and a maloka is just like a term for the building that we're in um and there's shamans in the middle so there's like four shamans particularly this tribe was a mother a father a son and the daughter's husband and the son he started taking Ayahuasca at seven so these people have been doing it's not like again random and this should people tribe their whole life is to serve Ayahuasca that's why they're here they know that at Birth when you're talking about being of service like that's their role on this planet and they're facilitating deep healing so with Ayahuasca you kind of set your intentions you know there's um Maestra and I went to a place called Arcana which you can look up but she Christina um Justina like they're amazing healers um she sucks bugs out of people it's insane yeah there's a video on it um and you it's dark you fast that whole day so before actually where I was at before I did I was like I did combo and combo is a frog medicine so combo's gonna clean your blood so it's kind of they take like an instant type stick and they burn

[00:50:40] Jordenelle: Your skin off and then they put this frog medicine which is the Venom of a frog but they do it in a way that's not harming the Frog and then they actually put that frog Venom in the burn hole and what this is you throw up your blood gets hot is it psychoactive do you have a trip no DMT no cycle I did do that too but this is just more to Clan your cleanse your blood before we even receiving Aya so it's a whole prep it's not like I'm gonna take a bag of mushrooms today and Fry like it's a it's a it's definitely something to prep for but it also brings it up like who are you without all your addictions who are you without food who are you without caffeine who are you without wheat I used to be a stoner I'm not anymore I actually don't smoke but um I so then you do combo you throw up and again you're throwing up around everyone like there's no chill here like you have coolers in front of you and your projectile vomiting in a room with like 13 other people in the middle of the Amazon like it's an experience and when you say with Aya they smudge you

[00:51:41] Jordenelle: Like Shaman comes in and blows on you protects you again it's so much about protection because when you're tapping into these realms it's deep it's not like a mushroom trip it's not like an acid trip like there's moments of it if you have taken those it but it's um because it's not supposed to be like a fried trip Ayahuasca heals the mind that's the point she shows you where you're looping around in Cycles which we're talking about in the beginning so my first night so you go on you take a little cup and you only take like a shot glass like you don't even need a lot and it is bitter it's so I loved it honestly it's earthy it's bitter and you and they actually ask you to sit up the whole time if you can because I guess when you're laying down you're more susceptible to other things coming in so if you can keep your channel sitting upright and you guys so during this there's four shamans in the middle and they're screaming the whole time so and what they what I mean by screaming is they're singing because they're protecting you so they have songs for the plants so the words that they're saying is in shapibo but they're

[00:52:50] Jordenelle: Speaking for their it's songs of the plant it's Ayahuasca songs are they harmonizing at all or if you were to see from like if you were watching from the outside of the circle would it sound a little chaotic or would it sound like the four of them are working together because I feel like I've heard before that it almost sounds like they're like battling in some senses uh well they're clearing out demons so they each kind of have different roles okay so like let's say someone's having a really bad trip which happened then it does sound chaotic because they're clearing them out because you're supposed to listen to The Voice so kind of follow one like I connected with I connected with all of them but they it's all in harmony if you're in it because if you can tune in and you're supposed to listen to them sing a lot of people don't because they're in their own head and they're scared they're not surrendering but I have a really I can surrender pretty easily when you listen to the voices it's guiding you it's kind of like Alice in Wonderland like the work the plans are guiding you so you're listening to them and they're singing and it's

[00:53:52] Jordenelle: Ayahuasca talking to you through them because they take it too they take away more than us they take like way more than us so they are Ayahuasca and they're singing for and every night was different so I sat with it four nights the Rhythm and the the way it worked was different every night like the vibe and the intensity and the electricity it was different every night because like the last night I was like one of the only people who sat with it everyone was done like they were like I don't want I'm like I'm ready because my first few nights people around me were suffering and it was actually I told the shamans I'm like it's hard for me to surrender when people next to me are suffering and I feel like I can help so that was a big lesson for me was like wow like even though I'm sitting with Ayahuasca I still have this awareness of how I can help people around me like I don't let myself surrender to my own healing like I'm always focused about other people so that was a big lesson for me um but essentially you can't you are seeing visions like everyone experiences different Honestly though someone next to me he was like super

[00:55:03] Jordenelle: I don't know the correct words to say it but not a psychopath but psychopath energy you know how they kind of aren't as connected like that theory they don't have souls I'm not saying he was but he didn't see anything he didn't even feel the medicine he got he was angry every night because I would have these profound he sat next to me eventually he had to move because I vibrated him out because he was mad that I was having these profound visions and these experiences and Ayahuasca and I just like it was like when I drank Ayahuasca I just felt like oh my gosh like I've missed her so much like she feels like my grandma but if you don't have that interconnection not saying that this was like a rare thing but just everyone's experience was really different and that's something I want to say too even though we all took the same medicine everyone had different intentions so you tell the shamans your intentions when you get there so when you're drinking your cup you're thinking about your it's so intentional it's so intentional and honestly like for my experience the first night um I for me I got lost in the Visions because I was seeing like the whole

[00:56:13] Jordenelle: World like I was seeing just the suffering I was seeing the child trafficking I was seeing just the suffering on the planet I was like going deep in that I was seeing like the Monopoly game board I was seeing the players I was seeing the Matrix I was seeing the makers of the Matrix like I was like I was so profound and I was like oh my because one of my goals was to become unplugged fully energetically from The Matrix those of you that know the Matrix that's a true story um so the first night I was seeing everything I was seeing the corruption I was seeing just the slavery the modern day slave like I was just it was really like this awareness of like I was just seeing it and then I also then I started to get in my Loops of all the thought patterns that I usually have and I was like oh my gosh it's time to exit so it was like the inner awareness of like exiting right my second night was really interesting um because so I've had an abortion and then I had a miscarriage and they were

[00:57:14] Jacob: Exactly a year apart May 6th and my abortion story is just crazy because again aliens came by it came through and took the baby but yeah that's yeah there's so much with my life that I'm like it does not sound real but I'm a living testimony that this [ __ ] is real

[00:57:29] Jordenelle: But when I was sitting with ayahuasca I was like I saw the first baby in my womb but I saw myself go to the full term but I never thought about the baby like when I had an abortion like it just wasn't an alignment for me and I never felt guilty about it maybe because I didn't process it obviously so I'm sitting with Ayahuasca and I'm seeing myself go full term like I'm seeing if I didn't have the abortion so I'm literally watching my stomach grow full term to nine months and I birth a baby I like pull a baby out and I'm looking at it and it like has like a little Hawaiian tank my partner's Hawaiian and it's a boy and I [ __ ] you not there's a baby in the room it's one of the Shaman's babies

[00:58:13] Jacob: Okay as soon as I pulled this baby out of my womb astrally the baby in the room started to cry for the first time that night like and another thing that's really crazy is that baby would be the same age as this baby okay sidetracked when I was pregnant um the first time I told Dane I said

[00:58:35] Jordenelle: This baby needs to go to the Amazon I like I get chills talking about I'm like we have and when I got pregnant I was on shrooms whoa yeah no this is trippy yeah like maybe you were like wrong door you know yeah like keep going you know you keep going down the hallway baby you know like what it was because I got pregnant on shrooms like it was like and as soon as I got pregnant as soon as it happened I was like oh my God I'm pregnant he was like you don't know that I'm like I am pregnant I felt like I think women know that I think I think that yeah often yeah I mean I'm really into my body anyway so when I was pregnant I said Dane I was like I don't know what it is but I have to go to I'm like if I if we keep this baby it has to be born in the Amazon like it was just this like crazy thought pattern like I said I am not the right mom for this baby like I and I'm not I'm not like I just I had this like deep thing on me I was like I'm not the mom for this baby this

[00:59:31] Jordenelle: Baby needs to be in the Amazon so when I saw that baby in the Amazon and it just had this like smile I mean I don't know I have a good babies love me but when I had that awareness of birthing this baby astrally on Ayahuasca and when I pull it out of my womb the baby in the room started to cry at the same time the baby hasn't cried all night people are screaming you don't even know the baby's in the room as soon as I birth the baby as if a newborn came out the baby in the room started to cry and I'm like what in the actual to me like I just I at that point I'm like what is this life and then I'm like it's time to purge so I go in the bathroom and I'm purging and it's kind of graphic sorry but I'm purging up like baby Parts almost as if when I had the abortion and the miscarriage not all energetically the baby didn't come out

[01:00:24] Jacob: Wow I was like when I was not literally baby Parts but what I was seeing in the toilet was and then I looked around like on the bathroom and like when you're walking it was trippy right and I'm like looking on the bathroom wall and there's a fat frog which means cleansing and then this huge moth which means you know death and rebirth and I'm like okay that was that was meant to be that was like really big experience for me because I was like I did that confirmed to me that I did the right thing with the abortion I don't have to question that choice um and secondly but this wasn't even I'm

[01:00:58] Jordenelle: Sorry to interrupt this wasn't even something that you went like I'm going to the Amazon to deal with this guilt of abortion you know it wasn't intentional

[01:01:04] Jacob: Right like this is just something I had no idea I guess I have to remove this block or this or understand this situation that was sitting in my womb still I had no idea you know so that's another thing women if you've had a miscarriage or an abortion and if you haven't looked at the energy it may still be sitting there and guilt and shame maybe cycling around in your room preventing you from getting pregnant again or blocking your abundance or blocking your creativity or blocking your pleasure and feeling safe to be pleasured do you have I don't want to derail too much uh I want to still talk about the story but if someone is in that position and they're not in a

[01:01:49] Jordenelle: Position right at the second to like travel to the Amazon and go to do Ayahuasca is there something you can maybe recommend that how do we you know women who might be like ah man maybe I should bring that back up and sit with that is there anything that you recommend yeah I would first literally ask your body so with your body like well like is there clearing that still could take place within my womb and feel how your body feels and feel emotions come up and if there is just YouTube sacral chakra healing put a healing frequency on super simple background noise that's going to be the sacral chakra so anything sacral chakra healing you don't have to go to Amazon to clear this let's just I'm just extra

[01:02:30] Jacob: Beautiful no I love that

[01:02:32] Jordenelle: Though I think that's so great though because I yeah I would love if someone is resonating with that um I think there's not a lot of guidance or conversations about that within our culture so I think yeah totally psycho Shockley shock or healing I'm with that cool yeah okay Carry On Your Iowa I'm sorry that's so much but I mean there's so much right like I'm gonna write a book because I just saw so much but what's crazy again remember my mom's across the room and my mom's never taken any psychedelics my mom went there because she had cancer and it wasn't genetic so she's like what caused this so it's really cool to be in the same room as my womb the womb space that I'm healing from it was just really cool but another part of my journey that was really prolific is I guess I'll skip to the last part just because I know we're short on time the last night of Ayahuasca again I took the most of anyone in the room no one else tripped I'm like ah finally I can let go because no one else is crying I can do this and I'm sitting there and um I see these three agents in my aura

[01:03:38] Jordenelle: Like literal like Matrix type agent like Mr Smith's

[01:03:42] Jacob: Right there's like three of them in my aura this is graphic again okay and I'm like oh no I don't want these in

[01:03:49] Jordenelle: Here because remember one of my intentions was to unplug from The Matrix fully so I can help other people unplug so I saw your taxes your money like student debt like I was seeing all these attachments and like you're a nurse your license like all these like things that had me still connected that were deep in my subconscious I literally took a samurai sword out and I sliced their heads off I'm not even kidding like I was like oh yes like yes get out of my aura and like in my subconscious like programming me badass I don't wanna

[01:04:25] Jacob: Yeah I was like dancing in the blood like calling moth style like I don't

[01:04:28] Jordenelle: Know if you know her but she's like a deity I connect with and just like just felt so liberated like oh my gosh like oh I just felt free I felt like okay to just be a soul without all attachments of the matrixly world and to just be free in that current moment and to remember that for when I do feel overwhelmed by money and all those things and after all that happened so many other things happen but I'm sitting there and precursor one of my biggest fears since I was a child is getting eaten by an anaconda like just precursor to this yeah I don't know why so Anaconda is the spirit of Ayahuasca so you guys know she shows up as anacondas an anaconda opens its mouth this is how my trip ends last night Anaconda opened its mouth it goes on the top of my head and it swallows me whole literally and in that moment the trip was done and to me that means Ayahuasca accepted me into her forever and she's always with me and I'm a walking vibration and spreading them out like that was like a sobering like that was like all right that's the end of your trip yes that was the end and I knew

[01:05:42] Jordenelle: That was the end that's how it finished an anaconda swallowed me whole and yep that was it I wish we could talk about death for another three hours I think I really want I would love to talk about I think maybe we'll do another podcast we'll just talk about death I think it's actually something our culture really needs to talk about um oh my gosh okay so I love so much no oh wow okay so incredible okay so what um uh you know your mother's journey is her personal Journey so I can share a little bit about her she's open to it yeah it was there what was your journey together did you guys have any sort of um you know you see each other from the cross from across the room and this it's just absolutely Divine space of Consciousness was there was there mother child healing was there anything between you and your mother in that situation so honestly I'm the role of the mother in this relationship I've always been someone she comes to advice for but my mom had a night where it was super scary for her super dark you know she had some bad trips and she was I was talking to her about it and

[01:06:51] Jordenelle: She was like I don't get it like why was this dark and I said most of your life has been dark she's like what do you mean I'm like you use meth for 10 years you're physically abused we've been homeless you didn't like

[01:07:09] Jacob: Yeah like you were checked out of your life for like 10 years getting like just house to house to house getting high you don't remember my childhood you don't remember your childhood the reason it's dark is because that's literally you've had so much trauma that you've literally blocked it out I'll tell her this is something that's been hard for me not now but I would tell her memories of my trauma and my life she goes I don't remember and I'm like so is this in my head yeah did I make it up no one else remembers this trauma Okay cool so I'm you know it kind of frustrating because she doesn't remember so but I would say the most profound moment that I had was actually taking bufo buffo is a frog five DMT I loved it you die it puts the chemicals in your brain that you experience when you die told medicine it's like the back it's a different toad than combo and you smoke it like in a in a little bubbler and this is like it's not as like it doesn't last as long and four people kind of go at once and the main thing is to surrender and again I'm really good at

[01:08:15] Jacob: Surrendering like I don't know I just I've mastered that skill I shouldn't say mastered I've really good at it you have experience from past lifetimes yeah and so my mom and I actually the same time like a little different dude but my mom was screaming and when she was screaming it sounded like my grandma that tripped me out and I when I'm I took mine and I was like light language like I was like attuning myself like these like Galactic codes and these Galactic beings were like I love death like I'm so comfortable in that realm so that's what it takes you it takes you to your body but if you aren't comfortable with surrendering and letting those ego die I've gone through a lot of ego deaths you're gonna fight it my mom was fighting it like screaming pounding like literally like wrestling herself she would not surrender she couldn't let go and that's why she got cancer because she has all this in her that she doesn't even know it's there and it's just like let me out see me so if anything I me being able to surrender and me bringing to her the awareness of validating her trauma that she doesn't even remember was really key for us

[01:09:32] Jacob: Because I'm like Mom like if you don't remember your childhood it's bad if you don't remember your adulthood it's bad yeah like where were you for it you know what you were checked out what were you doing what you were you protecting yourself from even seeing the truth of what was going on the entire time so that was like something that I was really cool for us to I don't say cool but it was beautiful for her to experience was wow maybe Jordan knows what she's talking about with energy work maybe she because when I quit nursing it was a really big deal for my family actually a lot of people like stopped liking me because I was like interesting when I stepped into the role of an energy worker it's really interesting like the transitions of ego for my ego death actually like I was dead to people when I quit it was so interesting like I'm not a person I'm not here anymore now that I'm not in that role it actually reminds me uh just to talk about myself again you know loop after Loop but uh it reminds me of when I started this podcast after my Spiritual Awakening I

[01:10:38] Jordenelle: Did not know that I had a spiritual awaken I didn't understand what was happening to me I was just in this state trying to like find ground and uh you know looking about like I said like the first like the first hundred episodes of of my podcast I could I could say are like this is like the beginning of my journey as I was understanding it you know so like have hope give me a little Grace but I remember um the beginning just my numbers like I'd never cared about the numbers but it is interesting to watch at the beginning everyone was listening to my podcast and then over the course of a couple months less and less and less because they started I think when they opened my podcast they're trying to hear Jake the DJ the cool guy the cool charismatic fun popular guy and they hear it and they're like what who is this who is this and they don't connect with that because the person who they thought they were connecting with had died I mean he is completely gone and I don't know if I didn't really I mean it's taken me up until more recently to even fully understand and like you know I've talked

[01:11:36] Jordenelle: To you about Kundalini Awakening and I had the same thing I had I had a crudely Awakening that I didn't ask for I didn't know it existed I didn't know it was a thing I accidentally caused it to happen but also it was exactly what was supposed to happen right you know um but uh yeah it is interesting like you kind of Disconnect with these people who are connected with a version of you that no longer exists and uh it's triggering for them but it's also they they suddenly like they just you just they lose interest and you're like all

[01:12:04] Jacob: Right see you later um but it's been it's been this beautiful like guidance because you know the numbers will begin to arise again for people who need to hear it not not people who want to reaffirm that Jake is still cool guy and he's a cool DJ guy and he's popular but more for people who um are need to hear what I'm here to be of service of you know so um yeah the part of you that has to die off that's so okay so what has been your um I think we're like pretty close up here on time but what has been your integration so how long ago was this and what because with a psychedelic trip I think it's similar to a psychedelic trip where it's not like you know the day after you do have these profound things but it really takes from what I hear as months maybe even years of integration of understanding okay here's what happened

[01:12:49] Jordenelle: To me here's what happened to that moment here's how it connects to my life when I was a child here's how uh it will make my actions going forward so what was the integration process after taking this Ayahuasca for you yeah so I December Exactly the 2021 ish yeah um coming home was interesting because it was cold right and it's kind of interesting to come home to my partner because he was like I'm trying to explain it to him and trying to like you know explain that I'm Different you know but then it'd be like I would have those moments of still being triggered and

[01:13:24] Jordenelle: He'd be like well I thought you're different I'm like oh like me too hey like okay you know I promise I'm not gonna do this anymore um but honestly the integration for my mom was really hard because she wasn't living in her alignment for me I already was kind of living in alignment before I left so it was really easy for me to keep going I was already I already was on that I was already doing Reiki I was already like on alignment so it wasn't as much of a hard transition for me but watching my mom like because she didn't know about child trafficking she didn't know about this all the all the reason I bring that up is because that's shattering to people who don't know about that yet right she didn't know about all this darkness in the world and she got super deep into like conspiracies after so she's like did you know about this did you know about this and we lived together she said did you know this and I said I know all these things not that I know everything but I'm like I've already so it was interesting because I for me it honestly showed me how much work I've already done I'm always work in progress

[01:14:24] Jordenelle: Um but it also showed me how aligned I am to hold space for people's healing because I Ayahuasca was really easy for me I could do it every day it wasn't challenging for me there's moments of but I just I have such a deep trust in conviction to whatever created us you know again not that I'm really you know but I I don't know when you hit this point in your life and your journey where you just kind of quit questioning it and you just know it that's kind of what Ayahuasca did for me it just it just is I can channel the universe's energy it just is people keep showing up I get new clients every day people are calling me asking me to do this helping them to do that like it just is it honestly just brought this inner awareness of like

[01:15:21] Jacob: Yeah you're in alignment good job good job that's kind of what I felt like yay you're doing it like yeah like you already knew but like the universe said you know you're doing good keep going you know to Loop it back to

[01:15:37] Jordenelle: The beginning of what we were talking about with Christianity I mean you know in the Bible he talks Jesus is not acting as Jesus it's God acting through Jesus yes and that's this thing of Life can become this series of coincidences and knowings without your mind and understandings without words um and um um you know life is painted you know time itself is actually Unwound in these instances of allowing God or whatever this thing is to move through you and be through you and you become one with God you know um yeah so oh my gosh I wish we could talk forever but I to let you go Jay so um thank you one more thing on that okay is that one thing to talk about because because air loved so much that he she wanted to experience it in flesh that's what I feel about us being here on 3D heaven or whatever realm we couldn't touch there's no sex there's no food there is no it just was right and there was no questions there was no mystery it wasn't fun and that's what I come down like it's fun to be a human like I don't know everything how fun is that I don't

[01:17:04] Jordenelle: Actually know I get to eat I get a hug I get a feel people on the other side don't have that they don't have touch like they don't feel that so that's another reason to have fun like to be thankful that we do get to experience that and that whatever it is loves us so much that we get to actually experience that love and when you let that love in it's just it's amazing I mean I think about like the first time that you fell in love I mean maybe you didn't even feel it so much at that moment like I can I can sit and just really like Envision the first time that I truly felt love or like the first time that someone like told me that they love me and I truly understood it and felt it

[01:17:43] Jordenelle: Yeah and like I can't even imagine this it's beyond words it's this gift that that like wow I'm able to experience that and like there's these Celestial beings who like know so much but like if they didn't go through the third density like they wouldn't be able to experience that wow what a gift indeed like to yeah to feel love in flesh form yeah love is the only thing that's real yeah love is the only thing that's real the answer it's love yeah thank you so much yeah okay we totally have to do this again um if you would we'll talk outside of this but um I would love to um talk about death with you I think we could have a wonderful conversation around death um it's something that uh it's been a lot of my path and again I just thank you've always been a space for me to be open um you've always been you know you came to my house in Castle Rock in a uh you were like one of the you walked in you're like wow thank you for allowing me into your mind you know you said something along those lines and it made me feel very like okay wow I don't

[01:18:47] Jordenelle: Feel so like crazy and nutty you know I feel it's a scene for who I am you know and so I've I greatly appreciate everything that you've done within our Friendship and everything that you're doing for you know the planet in service of everyone and um so sometimes I get caught up in a little bit of Daydreams about the future of seeing like how powerful you are in the future the future is bright and Beautiful and I think there's a lot of people who uh will be hearing there's a lot of ears that will be thankful for your voice in the future and I know it to be true thank you so much for holding space

[01:19:22] Jordenelle: Always holding space in the ways we've known how and just yeah like not get not getting those numbers and everything and I've always told you like this is you just gotta trust and believe and when you're doing it of service it will touch those you know most great artists don't even recognize till they're dead anyway speaking of death you know then leaving your mark leaving your mark That's here to help and Rippling out for Generations you know so thank you so much for having me and all that you do and just showing up and being of service you know it takes it takes a special individual to actually be of service and to choose that to actually choose that right so thank

[01:20:04] Outro: You it's cool that you ended on that because uh yeah I've had recent synchronicities with choosing and uh you know basically like giving myself up to service of God for whatever that means you know so I've had those experiences lately so Jay will be in touch I love you so much listeners love yourself please reach out uh check out Jay uh what does your Instagram handle again

[01:20:04] Jordenelle: Uh Cosmic Merrmaid

[01:20:04] Outro: Please follow Jay on Instagram she's a wonderful follow she Posts great things every day and she also has a Linktree with a bunch more things if you're in town you need some Reiki healing um I think you don't Underestimate Reiki healing and just the way that you feel when you're with Jay and the way you feel afterwards so it's just wonderful love yourself I love you guys see you later Jay have a good rest of your day my friend

[01:20:46] Jordenelle: Bye-bye