The Junkyard Love Podcast Episode 099 with Brent Spirit - A Kundalini Awakening Story

[00:00:02] Intro: At what age do we learn how to have better conversations at what age do we learn to have better conversations with ourselves Knowledge is power

[00:00:47] Brent: I'm really honored to uh to get the invites here I was listening to your show love it awesome I appreciate your uh authenticity your curiosity and and there's a great Vibe coming from through your voice when you're speaking I feel uh you know comforted I feel like we've known each other for a while so I'm excited to see where this conversation goes man thank you so much yeah I'm really happy to have YouTube right I've um I've

[00:01:12] Jacob: Been consuming your content for some time so it's cool too I've actually thought about messaging you for quite some time to get you on here um but is it the scheduling for my podcast is a little wonky and my schedule is a bit inconsistent so um the last thing I would want to do is have to like reschedule because I get a gig that really needs me or something so um yeah man I'm I'm pretty pumped to talk to you too I was just listening to your stuff this morning again and I kind of had that same thing like it kind of um I know it's a little dorky but it feels like we've known each other or something like there's just some relay uh relatability to the things that you talk about and I think there's something to be said about um you know there's there's an innate loneliness that comes with the Kundalini Awakening experience because you're like who do I talk to about this who knows anything about this so just hearing someone who's gone through the same thing you're like oh okay that makes sense yeah there's definitely a major overarching theme of being alone and uh confused and wondering what the hell's going on with you for sure for sure yeah and then um uh yeah and then trying to explain to someone you know because people want to listen to us people you know who love us are you know they're open eared in every way they're like I want to help you what are you going this seems like you're going through something but then you try to explain you know a way that you put it before was a snake coming out of your butt uh and that made me laugh like trying to explain to someone yeah well there's a serpent going up my spine and I'm just stressed about it and you know so it's yeah it's pretty tough

[00:02:48] Jacob: Well um cool man uh so like I said it's it's pretty casual on my end um I like to be able to have space for both of us to kind of ramble on um and uh you know stumble upon the questions that are natural um but I would love to start with kind of your bio your background who are you um how did you get into Kundalini Awakening and then we can kind of go what is Kundalini Awakening after that and we'll we'll let it rip after that so I would love to know Brent who are you what is it that you do well I go by Brent spirits of course that's uh an alias my first name is Brent uh Spirit came about uh just with the it was just a branding issue I work as a photographer under my you know my given name and when I began doing this spiritual work maybe you've experienced it yourself Jacob I know you're involved in a few things branding is a whole uh it's a whole challenge you know how do you present yourself so I was doing photography and of course I'm interested in uh you know Kundalini Awakening Spiritual Awakening some kind of weird stuff and initially I started uh you know just as my given name with these two different very conflicting uh Uh Explorations and people are getting a little freaked out and stuff so I had to separate my Brands and so I came up with Brent's spirit I just to denote the uh you know the spiritual aspect so I go by brand Spirits um and I like to say that I'm a spiritual teacher over the past uh 15 years or so I've undergone a pretty intense Spiritual Awakening Journey uh involving things like Kundalini Awakening uh Kundalini process uh there's some been some interesting shifts in perception um some ups and downs overall that we'll get into but in short uh after some of the shifts that I went through I began writing online uh back in the in the days of Tumblr I was uh just writing online about some of my experiences as a way to process things um and people began to say Hey you know similar things have happened to me I'm really stuck here I'm challenged with this do you have some information you have some insights and advice some guidance maybe even a resource and so I ended up you know responding to some of these questions and then the questions became coming you know more and more frequently and suddenly I found myself playing the role of spiritual teacher so that's how I found myself in this role but um we can uh backtrack a little bit and explore a little bit of how this all began for me

[00:05:31] Brent: So I've told my story in a few different places already so I'll try and come at it from a different angle maybe uh there's some things that uh we can discuss a little more I know in some of your episodes you were talking about things like dissociation um you know this kind of being out of your body you know being disembodied this type of thing and so and reflecting on uh you know how our conversation might go I thought maybe I could start talking a little bit about my experience of dissociation so as a young kid I felt very free in the sense that I didn't feel that I was this body or I was the mind I don't even think I had a formulated an ego per se um this identity of like Brent the little boy I don't think there was Brent the little boy there was just life and I was experiencing life and there wasn't a clear distinction between I'm here and the world is out there wasn't like a separation it was just life happening of course I couldn't articulate any of this back then Looking Back Now I can put some words to it but still I don't think it really captures it but it was basically a sort of meditative state Free from the attachment identification with the body and from that freedom also came uh uh the space to I guess what we would call dissociate so as I became to get older I would go through different experiences that would now begin to form this identity of Brent I began to feel that I was my body and the world was out there and maybe there were threats in the world and so I had to protect this body I had to protect this ego this mind uh who could be threatened um challenged offended or traumatized um you know labeled all these sorts of things so then this ego began to form identification with the body began to form but I found myself at times when I was going through something traumatic maybe even that was if I was just getting you know lectured by my parents uh because I had done something wrong I found myself dissociating and leaving my body and it felt like a protective mechanism a survival mechanism to uh avoid the intense situation so I find myself leaving my body but from there it was it wasn't like when I was a younger kid it was now a little bit uncomfortable and scary and I remember you know maybe somebody was threatening me

[00:08:11] Brent: Um or scolding me or you know one time I remember I had done something wrong the teacher took me outside the classroom I was talking to me in the hallway and I remember leaving my body she became like very tiny in my perception like a little tiny little person just her head was just you know scolding me and I was just listening to this talking happening but you know completely out of my body in a place where I felt safe um and so there's a there was like this blending of this meditative state it's dissociative state um using it initially it was Freedom now it was more of like escaping to survive so there's like these uh these themes are emerging um eventually in high school I found myself um really depressed I'd gone through some heartbreak you know the ups and downs of high school and I don't think that um it's unusual I think we all go through some sort of uh chaos in high school but for whatever reason I was really sensitive and fell into a really deep depression at the time I didn't know it was depression I didn't know what Depression was I didn't know what anxiety was I just felt I'm sad and of course I'm sad life sucks Um so you know it didn't seem like a mental health issue I don't think mental health was even a conversation back then about 15 years ago it was I imagine you two had you know very little mental health awareness back then

[00:09:45] Brent: Yeah go ahead yeah okay yeah so it was just I just felt alone sad I didn't know you know who do I talk to you know it was just like this experience I was having but I found that instead of being able to now dissociate that was like stuck in my body like suffocating in this body in the mind I couldn't find any reprieve any release any spaciousness it was me it was I was completely identified with these feelings completely identified with the minds I was a victim to the world that you know had victimized me that was out there separate from me and that meditative State I had as a child even the ability to kind of dissociate was completely unavailable to me um and so I felt like I was quite literally suffocating in my body um eventually I found ideas of meditation and mindfulness that Laid a bit of a road map and pointed me towards getting a bit of spaciousness again so if you're familiar with Eckhart Tolle he's got the book The Power of Now he explains about how we could come identified with the thoughts we think that we are the thought stream the pain in the body we become identified with it and you know they fuel each other the more emotional negativity you feel in your body it fuels more negative thoughts which fuels more negative emotions and there's momentum but what he said was you could take a step back and you can witness this unfolding you could witness the thoughts you could witness the emotions in your body and from witnessing you're able to take a step back and then you can allow that momentum to uh to play itself out and uh you know wind down and so I found this and I you know it felt so familiar to me to be able to witness and take a step back and just observe felt so familiar and then in these the Eckhart Tolle's work he says you know this is stuff that you've always known this is nothing new here that I'm showing you it's what we've always known you're just remembering and that's really what it felt like and quite literally I could think you know this is what I felt like as a child and so it validated what I was experiencing and so I said okay you know I have to just continue this practice of being a witness of observing and taking space and so I began to find ideas from the East yoga meditation Buddhism mindfulness

[00:12:12] Brent: And I thought initially interesting I thought it was Eckhart Tolle who came up with all of this stuff himself oh man this guy's a genius and so when I found ideas from Buddhism and Hinduism and yoga I thought oh wait this guy he didn't come up with this by himself he's put it into words that I can understand you know he stripped it out of the religious and cultural context so that I can digest it and then still that's a feat an incredible accomplishment still so grateful for him and so uh at some point I thought you know I'll try this thing called meditation so before this I was if I can clarify here I was practicing witnessing just throughout my day like I would just sit and become like a field of awareness and look around and maybe it was during work or play but I didn't sit to meditate so I thought you know let me try this thing you know to sit in meditation and turn inwards and see what that's all about and still my intention was to overcome depression and anxiety it wasn't about Enlightenment or self-realization or anything like that it was just finding peace so I remember being in my basement actually um as I sat down in meditation and suddenly like it instantly my neck began to Arch and my chin became to my chest and then it started to go backwards and uh you know this is really strange it's happening spontaneously I can't stop it I don't know why this is doing this and I felt almost like

[00:13:45] Brent: Like something was coming alive in me that was controlling my body in this way I opened my eyes I don't know what that was about um I'm just gonna not do that anymore I left it at that I said I'm happy with the mindfulness approaches as you know being out and about during my day remembering to come into the present moment to be a witness I like those practices the record for me I don't know what the heck that's that's scary experience was about I let it be didn't make much of it after that didn't talk to anybody about it um left it at that now I mean I could pause there um

[00:14:28] Jacob: Have you experienced something similar in terms of meditation you know these spontaneous movements and that sort of thing oh man yeah there's yeah there's there's so many things that I resonate with um in so many different directions that I can take it uh I mean firstly thank you for being vulnerable and like opening up about um you know how you came through this uh through anxiety and depression and not so much like you know you read the word Kundalini in a book and you're like I want to try that you know I think that's kind of a big point for a lot of us as we stumble into it or it's um you know Kundalini almost happens to you or you think uh what is to you and then your catapulted on this whole spiritual journey of learning like well what do I mean to me what is me who am me you know this whole thing um so yeah I totally had uh very similar um the spontaneous I think I've heard you talk about it in other podcasts as well is the spontaneous like stretching and yoga and breath work and meditation like you just couldn't not meditate like you just you start to become um obsessed with it like what like you can't go about your everyday life you know joking about um you know TV commercial ads and stuff with everybody when you're just thinking about being miles away from this meta perspective of who am I and what is this and uh you know yeah once you're I think it was the same thing for me so it's funny because it's it's both terrifying but also so interesting right so you learn about this thing you have this disassociative state and uh you recognize because your body is filled with fear and uh you recognize it as kind of a defense mechanism in some ways but then it's also like we were talking about the beginning it's this weird remembering you know it's like when you're reading akhart Tolle's book uh

[00:16:12] Jacob: He's speaking to something where you're like I already know this in a weird way he's almost just repainting a picture kind of like uncovering a picture that you think you've seen before you know um and I do think that it's often locked behind you know a lot of our modern world is kind of um this information is hid behind spiritual text or religious books or things and that kind of turns a lot of us off we're like I don't know about that or we only have one version of it and it doesn't include the whole thing um so yeah in any sort of opening to explain I think that once we start to learn about this stuff if we've had a Kundalini Awakening or any sort of Awakening experience there is um uh we just feel heard like our real self feels heard and seen in a sense you know I think that uh you're far from alone in Eckhart Tolle being one of your you know first spiritual teachers on the path I know people personally as well as there's a spiritual teacher um have you heard of Aaron abke on YouTube yeah I have yeah so he was a um an Evangelical pastor's kid and he had a lot of similar stuff he had a Kundalini Awakening but um one of his first kind of profound he had a few weeks of samadhi and it was caused by him on his break he's working at Google as a personal trainer and uh he was on his break at work listening to Eckhart Tolle audiobook and uh he said it kind of like set him into this state for multiple weeks of just like you know kind of what we would consider an enlightened State and then he describes how you know he had things in his personal you know grounded life that happened and kind of let him out of it but um yeah okay um I'm trying to think of where we could take it um so you had this you had this experience and then so you're taking some time to learn about it to read about it trying to understand what happened to me um it sounds like you becoming um kind

[00:18:06] Jacob: Of kind of teaching people was sort of a natural thing so how does this equate with your upbringing of what you knew of spirituality and um I think you were did you say you were raised in Catholicism have I heard that okay so what were the things that kind of stayed from what you knew back then um and what were the things that you kind of had to relearn I mean so like this different belief system how was it different than what you had learned when you were when you were a child well it took it took me a long time to uh to make sense of some of the uh more Western religions um Catholicism in particular

[00:18:50] Brent: And I'm still learning it and making more and more sense about it but in short I was raised to believe that God was up in the sky and that we were the poor lowly Sinners on Earth separate and we had to earn our way to connecting with God in heaven when we died um and by default we were shameful unworthy Sinners you know original sin and that sort of thing and so when I began to understand you know I recognize well there are people like Eckhart Tolle who are living in a very heightened state of consciousness and they haven't died they're still here so I thought you know to hell with this Western idea of God being up in the sky I let it all go I became uh rather um resentful of it for the shame the guilt the lies um the uh the mass manipulation that I was seeing you know the uh the industry of organized religion but coming back uh around I came to see that at least in my you know it's a general statement here but it seems that all of these organized religions were formed around a Mystic who had recognized that God wasn't up in the sky that God was Within and they began to you know share a message of that and that message became watered down and used to you know control fear or manipulation and whatnot and so if we look at uh you know Christianity Jesus was a Mystic it was a Mystic that had engaged in you know rigorous spiritual practice and devotion and recognized that he was the son of God in other words he was in a state of Union with God which is what yoga is Yoga means Union with God we look at Buddhism the same thing he recognized Enlightenment it's different ways and different ways of looking at it but in the sense the Buddha was also a Mystic and so I said well instead of worshiping these people I can do my best to try and move towards what they had realized like a cartolli and then I began to find that there were people all over the world that were living in these you know mystical States teaching about it and so that's you know snapped me out of this idea that

[00:21:13] Brent: Um you know God was separate up in the sky instead I said okay you know I'm not going to focus on religion I'm going to focus on spirituality and I think it was Deepak Chopra who said religion is about someone else's experience spirituality is about your experience and that's where my attention went it went to uh it being about my experience and so I after that experience of meditation I like I said I didn't make much of it that the sort of energetic experience with my spine moving I didn't make much of it I didn't really know what that was it wasn't really notable to me um but I just continued practicing mindfulness throughout my day um eventually it moved from trying to overcome depression because I think I had gotten a lot of I made a lot of progress on those fronts then it became just I said well I can continue these practices and move towards something like Enlightenment or mysticism or yoga Union with the Divine and so I continued on those with those practices but for a long time there was no energetic component after that it was solely um to do with these with abiding as mindful awareness there wasn't very much of an energetic component that came like it re-emerged later on in my journey hmm how so how did it re-emerge are you talking about um when you're so like your Kundalini energy actually did you have an experience where it kind of shot through the top of your head did you experience that okay cool yeah will you explain how that happened and what that was like for you mine was a bit different I never had um the shooting experience from the base of my spine to the top of my head I had similar experiences with other um what I would consider like chakra points

[00:22:58] Brent: Um but first how was it for you what was it like for you yeah so just for uh for your audience out there maybe wondering you know part of my work here is to dispel the notion that Kundalini Awakening must require a huge energetic rising of the spine for many it happens in more subtle gradual ways I like to say that this is the Divine and the Divine doesn't just move in one direction from root up to the top of the head many people also have energetic and full things that happen downwards some people have maybe like you said various chakra points at different periods on their path begin to come activated and whatnot so it looks very different for almost anyone and many people are going through Kundalini Awakening they don't even know it because they're saying oh I didn't have a huge rising up my spine and so I just want to preface with that because I in fact did have a massive rising of my spine um of this Kundalini awakens Kundalini energy so at age 15 that's when I had this meditation experience where the spine started to do that spontaneous movement it lasted maybe about 30 seconds I came out of this meditation went around went along with my day Um it was later on at I mean three or three years later or so it's 2012 and at this point I've been I've been working towards this idea of self-realization of Enlightenment as a result of what I learned uh throughout totally I began to explore more and more Traditions from the East and I began to engage in what's called self-inquiry um inquiring into you know who am I was also asking what is true what is true uh in a very intense way um because these are right these are practices that come out of Zen like coans um advaita vedanta um if maybe some people are familiar with Ramen and maharshi he had the practice self-inquiry who am I so I thought I'll continue these practices and just see what happens well eventually something significant happened I was I was asking what is true and suddenly I don't I mean nothing is true this is all a rising in Consciousness like a dream including myself and if this experience there was like an energetic opening in my head um it felt like my head became so spacious and in my head it was completely empty there was no sense of identity of Brent the ego the me I there were thoughts but I recognized that the thoughts were just there's initially a void

[00:25:46] Brent: And a thought would arise and that thought would pass away back into the void and another thought would arise and I saw it all this is just thoughts are Rising one at a time that's not that's not me it's quite literally just one thought arising at a time there's no Center there that I could say okay yeah this is me this is I this is Brent this is the ego this is myself and so this was interesting there was a significant shift I knew it was of a spiritual nature um and there's an energetic component as well I didn't use those terms initially looking back I see that there was a significant energetic component where the crown chakra or the head opened up and a lot of Consciousness flowed inwards into my head um and so I was abiding in this sort of uh what some may call a non-dual state there was no Duality here it was uh it wasn't Oneness per se but it was just it was not Tunis it's a difference there it's very subtle but there's just not Tunis I knew that if I'm not if there's no actual entity called Brent here well then how can what I take myself to be separate from anything else if for in order for separation to be here well this idea of Brent would have to be here to be separate from the world and so there was this experience of like well one with everything but with that

[00:27:14] Brent: Similarly to my dissociative States as a young child I was out of my body my head became so big almost like it had no top on it anymore and I was like almost watch myself like from a third eye perspective almost like a bird's eye view I was just watching the body and the world and I noticed that you know it was all like a very spooky dream that was unfolding on its own everything was happening automatically even the processes with my within my own body because I wasn't in control it was just happening and there was um incredible insights coming here I recognize that this is what they mean when the Dao is flowing and everything is the Dao manifesting and expressing it's just a flow and I saw the flow so intensely in this place and so up until this point I was exploring teachings from like Zen Buddhism um neoadvaita which is like a modern offshoot of invite of adanta which is a more older uh tradition from the east from uh from uh The Vedic uh The Vedic wisdom and so their philosophies were very much philosophies that describe the nature of reality as being like an illusion as being consciousness as being awareness and so it's very much a philosophical approach that felt very cerebral intellectual

[00:28:53] Brent: Um Pretty mind-based and so I thought well this must be what they're talking about when they speak about enlightenments I've recognized that I don't exist I'm not separate from anything everything is happening on its own this is the Dao I'm not in my body I'm watching my body and in that place I felt extremely numb uh no emotional experience practically whatsoever and I thought well I'm free from emotions now I'm free from all the suffering that I was going through all this time uh it felt okay you know something is a little weird here and then I said okay well maybe I'll just take some time and I'll get used to this new state then this will be my life now free from emotions just watch my body every one with the Dow and so that's where I there were some challenges there I could talk a little bit about it as well because Um I did eventually come across a a text that describe depersonalization uh also called DPDR depersonalization derealization and Zen sickness or emptiness sickness in which they describe that some people uh within Zen for example if they're meditating a lot they can experience the Zen sickness where they become depersonalized and they feel like everything has become a dream and I thought oh this is actually what I'm experiencing Zen sickness something is not complete here something is a little off and so from there I said okay this must not be the final stage clearly this is a documented experience and so I gotta figure out how to how to cure myself of Zen sickness and I thought you know I had a Buddhism teacher in a university course not uh not a spiritual teacher a professor I should say professor and so I thought well maybe they'll have some answers for me so I approached them and said hey you know I'm I'm experiencing Zen sickness and I remember talking to them feeling completely out of my body and she said oh you know that's interesting but honestly I can't help you I don't know much had she heard about it at all she I from what I could tell she hadn't heard about Zen sickness and she was into practice meditator I think she had a more of an interest in the cultural implications of Buddhism

[00:31:27] Brent: Um the ethical uh and cultural implications and that was her Focus but when it came to the direct in the experience of the individual who's practicing these uh you know these spiritual Traditions um meditation she admitted I can't help you I don't practice this could I ask you how this made you feel and this it seems important to ask like when you opened up to her about this thing like hey I'm going through this like um you know an insane thing that you're probably barely able to put words around and you just assume like she probably she could probably help me you know she knows about this stuff I've heard her mention Zen before ever you know whatever and then when she was like I don't know about it how did that make you feel did that send you backwards at all or yeah it was uh it was horrifying it was quite literally horrifying because in within Zen sickness within what I was experiencing I felt like everything was a dream I felt like nothing was real nothing was true and so when I read about Zen's sickness I thought okay so maybe I'm not actually alone in this dream and there are actual people out there that can help me get back to feeling real again and so when I approached her and she gave me this response I can't help you Brent it further validated my mindset or my perspective or what had happened to me in that I thought wow I am alone and she is like a character in my dream um

[00:32:52] Brent: That's what a character would say you know if you're in a dream and you try to say hey buddy we're dreaming and say no we're not or even if you said hey can you help me get out of this dream to say what do you mean where do you want to go right they won't they won't have anything for you right yeah what dream what do you mean so it was like okay you know she's saying I can't help you um and I could tell she felt a little embarrassed because I mean here she is Professor of Buddhism unequipped to help me and so out of her I think her embarrassment I think she tried to save a little bit of Face by saying you know I just moved here from Chicago if we were back in Chicago I would have maybe recommended uh you know like a zen teacher but I don't know anybody here and so I thought okay you know why don't I figure out where the closest Zen place is um and they can help me uh there's like a Zen Monastery or something there's got to be something um I was in Toronto and so I found a Zen Center and I thought okay I'll make my way over there so it was a long bus ride I remember being on the bus looking around at everyone's face and just thinking you know they have no idea what I'm going through like they have no idea what just happened to my mind my mind was quite literally blown apart my entire perception of the world has been shattered and these people are just you know going about their day and I remember sitting there as a very interesting contrast

[00:34:27] Brent: Eventually I found myself to the Zen Center and I walk up to the door and knock on the door it's like this old sort of a state house type of type thing Matt opens a door and I say hey look man I think I'm going through Zen sickness I need help I don't know what's wrong um and I but I know that something is wrong um and he says oh you know the teacher's not here and uh to be honest they don't really help people off the street and I thought oh my God you know another uh you know dead end um and he says you know give me a second and he comes back he gives me a paper and it's like a mental health crisis hotline so let's call these people they'll help you and I remember looking at this and thinking man This is spiritual this is a spiritual crisis or emergency that I'm going through I don't think I had those words yet but I knew that this wasn't solely mental illness this was spiritual in nature because it coincided so closely with what I had read as descriptions of these Awakenings and experiences of Satori and ego death and no self it was consistent with those experiences and so I knew if I call these people they may not they may be even less equipped than my Buddhist teacher or less equipped than even this guy who was maybe practicing Zen I don't know if he was a teacher or not but even he couldn't even give me any word of advice I don't know what somebody on a mental health crisis is going to say to me when I say hey I feel like you know I'm a dream my mind has been blasted open I don't have an ego or I've seen through my ego now what are they supposed to say to me right and so I thought this is spiritual in nature and I took stock I said well somehow I came across that term Zen sickness something is orchestrating this unfolding and I tuned in and I felt the Dao the flow of the Dao the flow of life and I said that is taking care of me it's directing me further on my journey I just need to acknowledge that I haven't yet landed and arrived a significant shift has taken place

[00:37:02] Brent: But I need to keep going and following whatever is supported me this thus far because I thought it was a great gift to even have come to realize it wasn't sickness was um I forgot to mention it but in my University course the Buddhism course I didn't do any of the readings I was so busy with trying to become enlightened but for some reason during this Zen sickness experience in my head was blasted open at some point I just grabbed the book The Textbook opened it to a random page and there was Zen sickness emptiness sickness and there was a description and that's when I recognized what was going on and so I thought well something inspired me to open the book clearly that was the flow the Dao this is my intuition something in some intelligence is orchestrating my unfolding I can trust that intelligence I can surrender it was not easy I was like what else do I got I mean people can't help me I went to the Zen Center they can't help me what am I supposed to do but trust and so I put all my faith in this intelligence that was you know that seemed to be holding me and coaxing me to keep going and with that surrender I had to let go of this belief that you know I had I'd reached full enlightenments And uh be humble enough to continue forward on the journey wow okay wow that's so incredible I mean I think uh I think many would probably uh relate to you know you picking up this book and you turn to the page and suddenly is kind of speaking about what you're talking about I have uh I've had conversations on the podcast and with friends um who have had the experience of going to the library and like a book fell off the shelf and that's the book that they needed to buy or check out you know so interesting um wow I mean yeah so I felt it important to ask how you felt in that moment um when you kind of like okay there's a clear this thing going on with me someone's gonna help me I'm gonna go to them and I'm gonna tell them what's going on and she's like man I don't know you know I haven't experienced that I don't know um because for my journey it was also I think that I had a lot of the similar thing of I would have moments where I'm kind of explaining these things to people or I'm talking about them and I'm rambling on about I'm having this and I'm having depersonalization I'm using these words that not only they don't know but then I kind of like Get present with the moment and with this person you know whether it's been like a friend or just someone I've met um and I realize they don't know what the heck I'm talking about and then it's like this oh no yeah you really are alone you know that snapping out a reminder that you know this is a in a sense a dream world you know and it's not to um uh

[00:39:43] Brent: You know negate the teachers or friends who are there like they just simply don't know they love us and they want us to feel okay too but um they don't know what you're talking about like if you haven't experienced it to like hear these things it's just so far removed from our everyday Waking Life that it's very difficult to understand you know um so yeah I think um so okay so how would you say that yeah I mean it seems like you kind of fell back on your path of okay I have to find the answers for what this is like I have to find what's true to me so you're going through this you have what you would consider Zen sickness you're having a Kundalini Awakening um I'm not sure if at this time if you knew that if you would consider it that or you have that terminology no um so how did you begin to stabilize yourself after all of this you know what started making things more normal because what I noticed something that's wonderful to point out is it's not like you just tried to forget about all of it and tried to go back to your everyday you know nine to five sort of picket fenced life um you were able to integrate this you were able to keep this wonderful information but also become more grounded you know and I'm sure that your everyday Waking Life talking with people who are unawakened is a completely normal part of your experience now you know it's because I think that when we're going through these things we're like I don't know if I'm ever going to be able to talk to a normal person again I don't know if I'm ever going to be able to like I can't go back to a job you know this is this is so far-fetched but I mean it seems that it seems that you have integrated these things and stabilized yourself so what was the next step on your journey Brent of um I guess integrating all of this because it seems like you've done so well you know it seems like now you're able to take the things you've experienced and you know you're a spiritual teacher now and you're helping a lot of people who stumble across your video so I mean what was that jump like how did you get to where kind of where you are now so to say yeah great well thank you thank you yeah so it's it's been a very long journey so this initial experience took place in 2012. so it's been about 10 years of integrating that experience as well as others that so you know we can get into as well but that experience

[00:41:58] Brent: Um going back to when we were talking about Kundalini Awakening and how it can move in different directions it can be subtle it can be intense it can look very different I would describe this as a top-down Awakening so there's the idea of the energy rising from the root upwards but then some people can have this like top-down experience where the crown is what initially has that impor of energy and I could bring about a lot of um interesting shifts and perception uh shifts in the way that we view our own ego and that sort of thing that I've been describing thus far so it was a top-down awaking that I was experiencing now I didn't know that it was a top-down experience I thought that was the whole thing because like I said the Traditions that I was exploring were very much only based about on the head they didn't openly talk about integration and embodiment like you've been describing so I recognized that I was going through a spiritual unfolding and I recognize I have to be humble and keep going as opposed to thinking that it's done still I recognize that there's a maturation process an integration process an embodiment process that has to follow in some respects so I think around this time a few days later or maybe even the same day I can't remember but Um prior to this I was I was eating a vegan diet um my intention was to support my Spiritual Awakening and I thought this was the best uh the best sort of diet for that and so when I realized everything was a dream I said what's the point of being a vegan like it's all a dream I can eat meat get all this diet stuff and so I grabbed uh there's I opened my fridge you know I had some pork chop in there I'd fried it up ate this pork chop really enjoyed it

[00:43:47] Brent: In hindsight I can tell eating the meat was very grounding for me it brought me a little bit more into my body this awakened Consciousness began to settle a little bit deeper in my body just remaining that pork chop it made a big difference especially because leading up to that I hadn't touched me in a while so energetically meat is very grounding food it's not for everybody some people it's best that they avoid it but for some I think myself included it's it's necessary to keep me uh you know in the world in my body so that was one thing that I feel like I was inspired to eat meat I didn't think I'll eat meat to ground myself I just said you know for it's all a dream who cares so I ate the meat then I mean I'm still out of my body but uh I thought okay you know this if this is my life now you know being out of my body I gotta learn how to operate in this state because you know it if an Awakening took place I gotta figure out how to navigate and go through you know learn this new way of functioning with the flow um and whatnot and so I thought I saw I said you know why don't I go to one of those yoga classes Just see what it's like to move being out of my body let's see what it's like to just kind of experience this it was kind of like I had a it's like I was playing a video game I got a controller and my body was like a third person character out there so it's kind of like that so I said okay you know maybe yoga is where I should go just see what happens so I went to a yoga class and um you know the teachers saying you know bring your attention to your breath in the belly feel your feet on the ground slowly move your arms upward bend over et cetera Etc so after the class I found myself feeling a little bit more in my body So eventually I began to understand that if I bring attention to my body I can come into my body and over the next few years I just began to kind of work on this a little bit uh not very intensely it was almost like an organic unfolding but I recognized that the more I brought attention to my body the more I settled into my body and yet I didn't lose this idea of everything being interconnected I didn't lose the sense of not being able to find a sense of Brent in my mind I still couldn't but I recognized the more I come into my body

[00:46:24] Brent: I still have to call myself Brent and function in the world as an individual even though I had this massive experience prior that showed me that it's all won my job isn't to like go sit under a tree and just say everything is one I you know especially because I'm young I recognize I have so much life ahead of me I gotta you know establish myself in the world um and then from there I recognized I um I began to feel these emotions in my heart again I was very numb but eventually I start to feel things in my heart and they weren't necessarily Pleasant I started to feel anger at times flowing through me in a like really intense ways like never before and it was like visceral and I felt alive like never before um and so my relationship with my emotions began to change um and I went through having to understand that emotions aren't a problem just because you've had a spiritual awakening or some sort of spiritual experience doesn't mean you're not a human being that's not able to get angry or upset or triggered or jealous or any of these things and so I began to explore ideas of re Reinventing my relationship with my own emotional experience and I gave myself permission to feel those things and from there There was a deep sadness and Melancholy in my heart and the sadness was

[00:47:58] Brent: A deep desire for God to be in my heart this is the only way that I can describe it a deep desire for God to be in my heart I felt you know I had known God the Divine spiritual nature of reality I've known this on my mind in a cerebral way this philosophical way and it quite literally did blast my mind open but I'm not feeling it not feeling it in my body in my heart and so I began to feel this like deep longing and sadness and Melancholy that was somewhat Pleasant I don't know if you're familiar with what I mean when I say there's something a little Pleasant about Melancholy yeah longing is a perfect word that you use because there is like a like I've experienced this before I know that it's true but I just don't feel it right now you know something like that yeah something about the pace of it's slow it's it's poetic or something like that but it felt warm and I just decided to sit with this and just be with it and so my meditation practice re-emerged and it went from being this like very psychological or intellectual or mind-based meditation of just witnessing thoughts so just feeling this intense love and longing in my heart and from there I would meditate lying down I would just feel this and I would feel my spine kind of becoming

[00:49:28] Brent: Um spontaneously moving again like how it did when I initially was meditating that very first time the spine would kind of flow and it wasn't for some reason I didn't get afraid of it this time I just let it happen it just felt like I should just let it happen it was kind of just this gentle spinal bending this wasn't yet the major Rising experience but I could tell that now my Awakening was moving into my body and it was within the context of relationships that helped me to integrate as well excuse me so you're asking about how I had spent you know but what I'd done to integrate in a body well I used relationships as a context and so I thought it doesn't matter how awakened I am it doesn't matter if I've seen you know beyond my ego or whatever you know Airy fairy ideas I have I mean how deeply can I relate with somebody can I attract a partner and keep that partner and have a meaningful and deep relationship and I if I could be honest that was challenging um you know I would maybe have it wasn't even just real in a romantic sense but you know I'd have challenges with my family with my parents with uh my friends emotional things were coming up and I recognized I got work to do like it doesn't matter what happened to me in 2012 my mind being blasted open you know I'm dysfunctional in my relationships

[00:51:01] Brent: Um you know relationships are hard I just mean I'm dysfunctional and I don't like this I feel like I could do better that's basically where I was coming I feel like I could do better um for myself and for the other people and so I found relationship was bringing up a lot of contact uh emotional contacts for me to work through and process and contemplate uh things like insecurity sadness um you know anxiety jealousy um attachment aversion um judgments all of these things were coming up emotionally and this processing it's helped me to come into my body as well because the way I understood it is that emotions are felt in the body so when we talk about embodying our spiritual awakening experiences it happens in the body and that it very much has to do with our relationship with emotions and so this didn't mean that I was trying to get to a point where I never experienced negative emotions no I just wanted to get to a point where I would stop judging myself or having them using spiritual ideas like spirituality means always being peaceful so those ideas began to uh um be challenged eventually I gave myself permission to feel more and more and I considered this to be the practice of self-love unconditional self-love so it was like I was loving myself as if I was my own child coming to me and crying and saying hey you know this happened to me I feel sad and I said that's okay it's okay that you feel this way I'm not here to tell you don't feel that way I'm not here to talk myself out of feeling those ways with spiritual philosophy

[00:52:47] Brent: Feel it fully you have full permission and this was my Approach of self-love and from their negative thoughts were arising thoughts that seem to contradict all of my Spiritual Awakening up until that point I'm a victim I hate the world's the world hates me I'm separate blah and I thought it's okay for you to think that way it's okay I'm not here to talk myself out of these thoughts based in separation or based in the illusion of the ego or false beliefs or whatever no how do these thoughts you're welcome here and so I established a safe container for myself in my practice where I would just lay down hands in my heart and feel think anything that would arise and during those periods I would overcome a lot of challenges and my spine would kind of move here and there but still this wasn't even the major uh nature Rising experience so we can get to that in a bit but I'm curious if anything's come up for you based on what I shared I know I shared a whole lot no I love it I thank you so much I want to let you keep ripping because I feel like you're making so many wonderful points this um I think this is a huge important part for anybody who's listening if they're going through any sort of similar experiences this is it the allowing period you know you really like took time to allow those things so we can live so much in the head so much in the crown and the third eye chakra that

[00:54:11] Brent: Um you know integrating like the real feel feelings of being in a body jealousy in anger and uh you know resentment and uh just all these things that are so human to feel and a lot of the times our quarrel becomes not allowing them our Coral becomes um uh like making ourselves feel so guilty and shameful for even having these feelings and you're like well I thought that I was like this enlightened dude now you know like I shouldn't be feeling anger and you know here you are nonetheless and uh yeah I think um what is a huge part that took me a while to uh it helped me give Grace to myself was man if I like there was a time in my life where I was feeling all these things and I wasn't aware of them I was just acting through them and like whoa I must I must actually if I give myself the grace of realizing that now that I'm aware of all these things now I can I can allow them to be and I can make a different choice you know meditation gives you that little that little Gap to think something but act in a different way so okay cool now that I'm aware of all these things I can realize they don't Define me they're not who I am but I also don't have to act on those things you know so maybe in relationship in a romantic relationship okay here's here's jealousy rather than like just saying that thing you know rather than just expressing the jealousy and you know getting caught up in the same karmic Loop being able to see the jealousy happen in my body be able to see the anger going on being able to feel the anger in the you know resentment or whatever it is arising from my heart it's like okay well all right that's what that feels like in the body this is part of the experience you know and you can kind of tap in it seems like to the to the crown chakra to the third eye chakra of realizing the truth of the thing and then connecting with like the acceptance you know the acceptance of it's okay that this is here it's it's all right just let it be and there is almost this like unclenching of the Fist when you allow something you know the um one of the four noble truths in Buddhism is acceptance right so

[00:56:22] Brent: It's it becomes this profound thing of allowing yourself to be so human allowing yourself to consume the meat you know allowing yourself to these other energy centers in our body um you know they deserve just as much uh um they deserve to be here just as much as is the higher chakras right so um yeah okay so man that's so great I feel like uh there's so many similarities uh in my journey with what you're expressing and um it just excites me because I think that there's probably people who are listening who um you know might feel heard and seen in the same way okay so I would love to hear about the um the release of that you had of this so like what was your step after this so you're becoming aware um you're allowing these things um you're not it doesn't seem like you're suffering as deeply in this moment um correct me if I'm wrong but it seems like you feel like you're making some progress you're integrating the spiritual version of yourself as well as the grounded um just human experience that you have going on you're not rejecting one or the other that's a huge thing I think for many years I was like I've got to be spiritual I've got to be the meditator I've got to be the like I can't have lust I can't uh given and give in to my you know like just making myself feel shameful for eating Doritos or something nothing you know like just this allowing this integration of the above and the below it seems like this is kind of where you're at in your journey here that you're explaining so uh what was this next step what was this explosion of energy for you Brent yeah so this laid this phase that I just described laid the foundation

[00:58:06] Brent: Upon which I was being prepared to go through now a real uh even more deeper and Powerful Awakening and integration period so around this time like I've said you know my spine is kind of moving I'm not looking into it much I'm just letting it happen for whatever reason I don't uh make much of it I'm just loving myself hands in my heart feel think doesn't matter it's all welcome here and around this time I began to connect online with uh some spiritual teachers that you know had YouTube videos and whatnot and they were talking about what we would call Shakti um also known as Kundalini Shakti which was this energetic components of Awakened consciousness and they were talking about it and I was also listening to some teachers that uh had Kundalini Awakenings but didn't talk about the Awakenings themselves the Kundalini experience but instead they talked about being a human being and being willing to experience the thoughts the emotions and go through the different stages of Life Etc and I can name those teachers I was I was listening to uh RAM Das who I know you're familiar with yeah very much and um Matt Khan and so they're they're teachers that have a very heart-centered approach um you know like you were speaking you know earlier you know you may have uh used spirituality against yourself you know I can't eat the Doritos that's not spiritual or whatever it is but these guys you know they never seem to imply that we should use spirituality against ourselves come as you are to the path and it's okay it's it's welcome in fact the path is welcoming and accepting yourself as you are with your thoughts feelings and emotions and so I was hanging out with these teachers that were talking about these things and there was a couple others um one of them I like his name is David Sparrow uh he was talking about Kundalini I'll be honest I didn't even know what the hell this guy was talking about I would just listen to the videos and just kind of go into a sort of meditative state now just listen I don't even know what he's talking I don't know Kundalini I don't know what he's talking about it's listening for some reason I was just drawing these videos and I'm just listening and I would listen to Matt Khan and he would talk a lot about like I was saying using relationships to contacts for our Awakening I'm not feeling like we're a victim

[01:00:42] Brent: Um ramdas of course would talk so much about you know being in the heart and loving God and tell their human stories and he was so vulnerable as well as well at times about some of his own shortcomings as a teacher and so I was hanging out in the vicinity of these teachers I would say that looking back I was hanging out in their energy Fields even it was transmitting and radiating through video through audio it doesn't matter it's it's transcends uh the limitations of the physical and in their fields was this Radiance of Shakti it was this Radiance of Kundalini and like I said I didn't know about any of that so I'm just enjoying their teachings living them outs I eventually um connect with uh I began dating a girl and um the relationship was very mystical and wrapped up in a lot of synchronicity these odd coincidences and Serendipity and you know um just a lot of interesting stuff that seem to imply that I had found my way into the spiritual perfect relationship you know the spiritual you know like a peak of all relationships is what I felt like um soul mates whatever you want to call that's what it felt like it felt like the Dao had brought me here the flow the universe had brought us both together we seem to both know it and recognize it there's a lot of synchronicity that seemed just undeniable

[01:02:19] Brent: Um and it all just made sense and when I say synchronicity I don't mean you know just texting each other at 11. I mean like just layers and layers of deep meaning like some sort of Blockbuster movie and when we were together this energy in my body would become activated and I felt energetic phenomena and I just kind of let it happen it kind of just felt like well this is what of course I'm with I'm with my soul mate of course the energy in my body and my talkers are going to do all this opening and of course I'm gonna have these things and I it was just very mystery and magical and um the relationship event went really

[01:03:02] Jacob: It's really deep very quickly and I was on the top of the world finally I love myself with self-love to the point where I was able to attract this partner and of course they say you know if you want to attract a great partner love yourself first overcome your uh you know your neediness find confidence Etc love yourself if you want somebody else to love you I'm like I did it and this is proof here I am in this relationship you know I made it uh her and I um decide to explore um psilocybin along with another friend as well it was also you know very much uh in wrapped in this spiritual uh Journey Of Us Together and um you know it's interesting because I've done a lot of work on Kundalini

[01:03:53] Brent: Um on my channel and I actually haven't told the story uh in the detail that I'm about to tell it so uh it's exciting for me I was you know waiting for the right time um and so together

[01:04:07] Jacob: We uh you know we take a little bit of these uh psilocybin mushrooms and now if I can preface here a lot of people do mushrooms a lot of people do drugs very few have a Kundalini Awakening and I'm not saying this to come across as arrogant I'm saying it just as a warning for those who may be listening and saying I'll do it and I'll have a Kundalini Awakening yeah I a lot a lot of spiritual practice like I've mentioned has gone in um I was already in the midst of having energetic phenomena without the uh the mushrooms so I just want to clarify that they're powerful tools useful tools but um not for everybody okay um and so and of course you know there's all the health and legal issues ETC um but um so we Begin this trip and uh you know I'm the experienced one here and so I feel a little bit of uh like I'm the guide and we're hanging out um in uh you know the bedroom there and I'm in the middle of the bed and they decide you know we're gonna go grab a glass of water or something and so they leave the room uh and I'm in the middle of the bed there hands in my heart just loving myself Saying I love you over and over with each breath and I feel simultaneously that I'm being held and that I'm holding myself it's like I'm holding someone else and someone else is holding me but it's still me and I'm I'm you know I'm really with myself and I'm really going deep I mean this is the practice that I was doing even before like I described No Hands In My Heart and I'm just loving this it feels incredible I'm held by God I'm held by myself I am God I'm a child I'm nobody I'm everything it's incredible and certainly have a thought an anxious thought oh no they're they're gone you know they've been I don't know how long they've been gone you know I thought time can get a little weird on those experiences I don't know how long they've been gone maybe Something's Happened maybe they're you know somebody got hurt I need to go check on them I need to leave this incredible state that I'm in and go check on them and I hear a voice that says hey whatever's taking care of you right now Brent just taking care of them too so just relax and so I said all right I could trust that and so I went deep into this meditation again you know just saying I love you over and over I love you and in the background I was playing music by Ott

[01:06:49] Jacob: It's like a sort of a psybian side dub type of artist um similar to Shpongle if you're familiar with Shpongle but I like trippy hippie music so I'm just really in this incredible experience um in this room here and uh our friend she's got us she's an artist she's got a lot of cool art and I'm in a pretty uncomfortable place and you know I'm doing this practice I love you I'm just feeling it's so fully my heart is growing and growing and suddenly I feel my spine Arch and it was like this explosion of energy from the base of my spine up my spinal column in two huge jolts like that and it was orgasmic it was the orgasmic times a thousand and I can only describe it as a freight train moving at light speed squeezing itself through the shaft in my spinal column all the way up to the top of my head exploding out of my head and I found myself in this vast spaciousness

[01:08:25] Jacob: And you know it was like this incredible relief was here as well and so uh I came back out of this experience after I don't know how long but here I am in the room and you know I was like oh my God you know whoa and I recognized whoa I'm alone I thought I was quite literally having sex with my partner and I look at my uh you know my clothing and I'm completely dry you know I thought I had a at a release I thought what the heck was that like that was some really intense orgasm that I had that blasted me up you know out of my body into the ethers holy moly and so then soon after they returned back into the room and I'm looking at them and I can't tell Who I Am anymore I'm like did I just come in the room Who are who are we and they're looking at me saying like I don't know who we are like Miu are you me we're all one we are we all were experiencing this Unity type Consciousness type experience of open-hearted love but it was I mean I could look back at it now and say it was debilitating in the sense that I didn't know who I was like I could have been anybody in the room um which was fascinating it was incredible um but I just want to clarify that because some may be thinking well that's the way that we need to that's a state that we need to get to right so operating the world no you can't operate in the States you gotta have a sense of Separation but in the moment it was this total dissolution of ego and Oneness and connection to three of us and um sorry they were experiencing this too like they were the ones yeah so yeah I think that's so fascinating wow yeah it was it was very incredible um I think it has a lot to do with the Psychedelic experience yeah not that the not that the psychedelics were like tricking us into experiencing that I think the psychedelics put our nervous systems in a state of being in frequency and vibration in order to experience that um it's not just a hallucination I think it's a real experience that we were having 100 yeah because I know that people do experience these things without the use of psychedelics right

[01:11:04] Jacob: Um so we had this experience and so you know I'm telling them you know what just happened to me I'm like you know I have this huge orgasmic explosion of my spine and uh my partner said you know we were laying on the floor in the room uh in the next bedroom looking up at the stucco ceiling and suddenly there was this massive explosion of uh the stucco and I just knew that it was that it happened at the same time you know that I had this explosion so from there you know we uh We just enjoyed this experience together and you know eventually you come down and The Oneness experience began to fade and dissolve it was a little bit more functional but still there was a ongoing perception like feeling not just in knowing but there's a feeling of you know I'm connected with everything and um you know we went out uh later that evening for some reason I felt called uh to just eat something vegetarian which was unusual for me but I just that's just what felt right um and so we continued that day with having like a pretty incredible interconnectedness Um that was waning but uh a deep intimacy it had formed but uh the next day you know uh I went to say bye to this you know my quote-unquote who I thought was my soul mate at the time and uh I can tell that way as I go to say goodbye to her there's like this little bit of distance between us that hadn't perceived before and I said oh you know you know I don't know if you've ever experienced that but it's like this oh it's like a hit and it's like getting punched in the chest like oh yeah there's some distance here oh what happened and uh the next uh a couple weeks that distance began to grow and I was experiencing a lot of emotional unsteadiness loopiness anxiety uh feeling like yeah like I was like kind of frantic and uncontrollable emotions and I was mourning the end of this relationship before it was coming because I somewhat knew it was coming and um

[01:13:36] Jacob: I um I didn't know that this was Kundalini Awakening up until this point so I was just I was just tripping out feeling very emotional ungrounded anxious vibrating my body was buzzing you know issues with sleep and the impending end of this relationship that I could just intuitively I just knew um that's you know something was gonna you know the shoe was gonna drop or something you know like uh whatever and so um I'm at uh I'm working at this car dealership I had uh somehow found myself there and I was very new to the job but wasn't treated well I wasn't respected well I wasn't trained properly and there's three people in my department two guys were going on extended trips and um so they sit me down and they tried to explain to me a long confusing process of what I'm supposed to do while they're away to manage this parse Department and I can't handle what they're saying I know that you know like um I'm uh going through this extreme emotional instability energetic instability I'm very ungrounded psychological MMS this relationship went from being incredible to now suddenly this distance and they're telling me you know I'm gonna take a lot of responsibility on it this job that I haven't been trained for and they're both leaving on these trips and so I'm like I can't handle this like this is just so much that they're asking of me Plus in my state of being here and so uh they say okay are you got that you're gonna you're gonna be okay and I'm just like yeah don't worry man I got you know we're good we're good and uh

[01:15:18] Jacob: So uh I got a text message from my girlfriend at the time and she says hey you know Brent's um I met up with my ex yesterday and uh you know we're gonna get back together and you and I are done and I have this panic attack at this moment this huge panic attack and uh these two guys had left to go for a smoke break something came over me find myself grabbing my jacket involuntarily I look at my feet quite literally it was like I was Associated but I looked out of my face my feet are walking out the door and I remember thinking I'm walking off the job interesting I walk out the door I get on the bus I head home and I just sat in my room and continued to love myself because that's all I knew it was working in the past I just have to continue loving myself through all this ordeal eventually um I described some of the experience to a friend and she said hey you know that sounds like Kundalini Awakening ramdas spoke about his Kundalini Awakening you know talks about the energy rising up his spine and I thought oh my God I had a Kundalini Awakening

[01:16:30] Brent: And suddenly I'm like I was listening to these guys the whole time you know Ram Das I was listening to Matt Khan he had a Kundalini Awakening he doesn't talk about it much I was listening to David sparrow and he would talk openly about Kundalini Awakening and like I said I would just kind of listen I wouldn't I didn't know what this guy was talking about so I'm like oh my God I experienced this what I was aware of this whole time and it took me a couple weeks to make sense of this experience to make to come up with what I had gone through and suddenly I'm like oh my God I had a Kundalini Awakening and that explains why I'm so messed up and out of my body and you know excuse me energetically unstable and feeling all this electricity and vibrations in my body and can't sleep okay and so I knew um I did a did a research or something I said okay I'm going through a purification period the energy is bringing up all of the on uh addressed issues that I've been carrying in my life much of it maybe I thought I was over you know maybe I thought I had maybe I thought I'd ex I had overcome insecurity nope I thought I'd overcome grief and confusion and sadness trauma I thought I had addressed all of that no and so I sat in my room and I continued with the practice that I was doing before the Awakening the practice I was doing during The Awakening which of course hands in my heart saying I love you to whatever was arising and intense things were coming up

[01:18:05] Brent: Um a lot of grief around the Heartbreak things from the past from childhood um raw things emotions without a label without content just raw sadness grief and I could tell that this was something from the collective not that I was healing the world per se it was more like this is a collective wound that I've inherited just because I'm a human being on this Earth those things were Rising past life memories were arising um all sorts of difficult things emotional I was crying vomiting fevers oh the fevers were intense sweating cold sweats all sorts of really challenging things but fortunately I knew what I was going through I knew it was Kundalini up until this point I had developed this relationship with like I was saying the word I'm using lately has been the Dao I had this relationship with the Dao I knew that I was supported it had supported me from day one just by bringing me Eckhart Tolle's book and I just gave all my faith to it I said please just like don't drop me now don't abandon me now um I'm trusting you like you know like I'm trusting this is going to work out it's not happening for no reason and so I moved through this process six weeks straight I just meditated six seven hours a day not Um because I was a monk or something I just I didn't know there was nothing else for me to do the intention the emotions were coming up so intensely I had no other choice I just had to sit with it and I would go through a healing cycle and when I refer to a healing cycle I mean like uh a phase it could be a couple days it could be six hours it could be one night it could be a weekend whatever where I would be processing some difficult emotions but when that phase ended quite literally I felt healed transformed more peaceful more spacious more safe in my body and so I caught on to what was going on here I caught on I said every time there's a cycle of something coming up I go through it I come out on the other side transformed and so I developed more and more faith and confidence in the process and so I continued with this process for uh like I said six weeks for the most intense then eventually I started to get a little bit more gradual and subtle and I felt more stable um and eventually I found myself being able to look back and say wow you know I think I'm through the most difficult parts of that I think I'm stable I'm steady I'm calm I'm centered things will still come up and things can still come up so this happened to me back in 2015. so about eight years I think so things can still come up but up from that point on I caught on to the game I understood

[01:21:01] Brent: Um and so there was a willingness to heal and face what I have without you know like I said using spiritual bypass and you're using my spirituality against myself and so the if I can describe the energy initially awakened up in my crown the top of my head then it awakened from The Roots all the way up to the top of my head so now the entire body was awakened you could say and I found myself abiding for the most part in my heart which I'd like to call like the center because it's the center of the spiritual awakening it happens up at the top of the head as well as the emotional and bodily awakened that happenings happens from the root and so in the heart I'm able to like integrate the two and I like to think that you know I'm working towards more and more deeply embodying my spirituality as a human being in the world and so um you know I can pause there and you can see uh but it's coming up for you any questions I know it was intense it was good to finally talk about it in that way I was waiting at the right time oh beautiful yeah I mean dude thank you so much for sharing all that like it's such a you know it's such an innately personal thing but uh like I said I mean and I think probably like your journey as well is when we hear other people telling about their versions of it or like how they went through it's like such this feeling of being heard you're like oh gosh you know like with you're like oh wow that's what's going on a Kundalini Awakening like I had one oh geez and then suddenly you kind of have a mile marker of sorts like you're like okay so there is a some sort of apparent direction in which I'm I'm heading right you know so okay so I had this now what you know it's the because it's such a destabilizing process for so long you know and I think um uh you know for some of us it varies I mean I've heard people talk about how it could be you know anywhere from a couple months of an experience to you know 10 15 years of experiencing this and you know I don't think there's a wrong way or a right way or a um set

[01:23:08] Brent: In stone way but I think that um you know once it starts to happen once the Kundalini begins to rise or even like the you know it's interesting because like very much in you're saying this too is it's there's so many experiences that lead up to it that are for sure a part of it you know it's not like your Kundalini Awakening only starts when it rises up your spine and you have like some sort of Awakening experience like for you on the psychedelics where um you know you kind of like saw this white light it was like this orgasmic feeling through your body like that's as much the Kundalini Awakening as the things that led up to it over the course of the few years so you know one thing that I noticed for me um I've always had this fascination with time like time is always so interesting to me in so many levels like my um my first eight years of being a DJ and Performing and stuff it went by DJ Kronos who's the Greek Titan of time um and I was just like man if I could just you know there's those moments where an artist on stage could make you just like time just goes by so fast suddenly you realize it's been 45 minutes but you've just been transcended and transported in this way you know I thought I always thought that was fascinating um but I think that it's funny because I didn't even realize my fascination with time is like spiritual it's uh because when these things happen to you start to realize the connectiveness of everything and once you allow um you know your journey to happen you're like oh of course so I had to have those things happen to me when I was a child or else I wouldn't be this version or I wouldn't be able to like you know speak about these versions of these things that are happening to me now

[01:24:48] Brent: Um yeah so the understanding of time itself seems to uh kind of change when you're on a spiritual journey and I don't know if it's just with Kundalini or Awakenings or whatnot but um I think a lot of people can kind of resonate with seeing how the series of events that led up to the spiritual awakening and where we are now are you know it sounds kind of cheesy but like they're also perfect you know they're 100 it's like oh of course those things had to happen for me to be this integrated um you know not you know for lack of a better term actualized like a you know some version of my actualized self or I'm where I'm supposed to be on my path you know not an arrival of being you know an actualized avatar or something but um yeah it just kind of gets you to be right where you're at now um wow okay so now that now that you have gone through these things um I think um I think I think for me there was moments where uh I was so enthralled and so like obsessed with I because I had I had a similar uh where I was like I couldn't help but meditate like for a long periods of time I couldn't help but do yoga like my it's so interesting because it was such like a kooky weird insane moment of my life but it was all I could do like so I would I'd wake up in the morning um and luckily for a while I had this like schedule where

[01:26:23] Brent: Um I would have like long bouts of I would have weeks or months where I'm not really working or I'm not really having to do much I'm not really having to be social so I can kind of be in these esoteric realms for a long time where I'm reading a ton of philosophy I'm listening to audiobooks I'm like going on long runs listening to you know Ram Das or any of these spiritual teachers so I'm I'm in this mindset um and I feel like I'm I'm not really having to be grounded in a sense which is I don't think I really recommend in some ways but I think it's also how what I had to do um I would walk outside I had this wonderful backyard of like privacy and there was nature and birds and there was like tons of squirrels and like sometimes I'd be meditating and like a deer would walk right up to me where not like touching distance but probably like within like 15 feet and I would sense their energy or something and kind of open my eyes and realize they've just been staring at me like what is going on so I was in um but also at the same time I would be walking out to to my meditation spot and I would just lean over and vomit like I would just throw up and like I'm like okay yep there's my morning bomb and I go sit down and meditate and like now retrospect me like me like what was going on like I was just accepting that as normal in that moment

[01:27:36] Brent: Um so yeah man I uh just uh just to Ramble On I mean it's so interesting in these experiences they really are so far-fetched you know and then some time comes on and you're able to kind of come down into grounded reality you know and uh I've said this before you might have heard me uh repeat this over and over from ramdas's uh always remember your Buddha nature and your Social Security number you know around us has said that and I always love it because that's that's kind of part of what it was you know I think anybody going through an Awakening we have these moments of being extremely spiritual or like we can't even fathom like we can't even hold a conversation um in kind of the grounded realm of things you know uh I remember for me I went to uh after the pandemic I work in Live Events and so I wasn't able to work and make an income for a while and so I got to the point where I was like I need a job like I got to pay the bill sort of thing and so I was working at um UPS I was a supervisor over there and I remember like my first few weeks I was nervous I was like man I have been I've been on Mars for many months and now I need to like go like I'm sending people's packages you know it's like a very grounded thing and I remember um introducing myself as Jake and they're like oh Jake from State Farm and they would say like things like that like just jokes from the TV and like you know just our typical and I was like oh no I've gotta I'm gonna need to run out of this building I can't handle like the like and it took me a while then I would start kind of like accepting that and joking back with them and talking about not talking about spiritual stuff not trying to talk about God in every moment not trying to teach everybody about meditation but just having a silly time at work with the people I was working with and you know then slowly I was able to kind of like see their beauty and I would appreciate ah man this person like they're not like me but that's okay like they're like them and they're pretty awesome you know and start seeing the beauty in people and so you know there's just like this integration process of there's a lot of fear of thinking that you're gonna like lose your spiritual knowledge or like man I think I was up there on the mountain and I've got to descend down and um I think that you've described it in your way Sprint like a beautiful way of having both you know in a sense like there's this uh

[01:29:54] Brent: Um I'm probably not the right term but as above so below like you're you're able to kind of um the integration of being spiritual and being a grounded a human we're in this body we're in this you know uh meat suit and all this um and um I think yeah I don't know I think that's an important part to point out because there's often points for me um another experience that happened for me was when I first kind of had um mine didn't shoot out of my head but I had my mind connected to my heart and it was this insane experience that like lasted multiple days of being in this like it was disassociative but I felt very stuck in my body and I remember searching on online I was just on Reddit even I even posted on a Reddit Forum I forget which one I'm like asking for help and I was like I think that I went too far I think that I opened my third eye I can't close it I didn't know what I was talking about I was literally searching up YouTube videos how to close your third eye like because I was just so ungrounded in so many ways but you know now my understanding of those sorts of things like it's not you need to shut down one or add more to the other there is like a Natural Balance and integration that um seems to happen um so yeah um Okay so we've still got some time left I do have like so I had a couple notes for you Brian um and

[01:31:18] Brent: Of course if there's anything else you want to mention for sure bring it in but um I did I was curious so you were talking about this moment where you had this experience and you had two people around you two people who were close and you kind of had a synchronistic um like you felt this bright white light you had this orgasmic feeling and they also had some correlation of feeling the same thing and they walk in the room and you're like who's like is this my mouth is this your mouth who are you who am I it is sort of like I mean oh wow how fascinating is that like what an incredibly interesting thing as far as I'm concerned you know um have you and what do you think about the uh have you heard of like Joe Dispenza's Retreats um have you heard of Joe Dispenza so he I mean I don't know how exactly to put it but I think that he's basically having giant like Convention Center level Retreats multiple days long where he's activating people's Kundalini um and not just him you know I'm sure these people their life has led them to these this is like maybe like a self-help sort of seminar if anybody who's listening a sort of Tony Robbins um I think it's it's kind of up there with that I think Joe dispense is a little more esoteric and a bit more intense but Brett what do you think um based off of your spiritual experience what you've read what you've gone through personally what do you think about this fascinating thing you know we're having Retreats of people coming together to um whether intentionally or not if that's the word they use but kind of awaken their Kundalini like I mean what do you think about that and how much have you heard about any of that yeah so Joe dispense is a fascinating guy of uh like a lot of admiration for him I feel like he's one of the people who are tactful not to openly discuss Kundalini Awakening

[01:33:09] Brent: Um blatantly maybe in the way that I do because it turns off a lot of people and I think that's conducive to why he's able to attract like you said convention level Convention Center size audiences and people from going on Retreats from around the world because um a lot of his work centers around healing in general emotional healing physical healing even so I would say that's um I don't know too much about his work but I know I'm gonna Tarboro a strong guess that he's dealing with awaken Kundalini himself he had an interesting uh traumatic experience and I've read a little bit of his work and he does refer to an energy that seems quite synonymous with Kundalini I'm sure he's must have referred to it as Kundalini uh you know in a clear way at some point or another as well but um I think that what his work involves is tapping into that energy that we all have to use it for healing transformation but doesn't necessarily mean that everybody is going to have their Kundalini awakened per se I think that we can all um experience it from time to times uh in a sort of active State and then it goes back into sleep into dormancy um so it's kind of like a stirring of it or a stimulation of it or tapping into uh you know the different ways we could look at it like the life force or the chi and using that to facilitate some form of transformation but

[01:34:40] Brent: Um I don't know if he approaches it as like a directly and obvious like Kundalini Awakening event but there are some that do um there are some that uh you know serve as like um at least if they're operating in a sort of Indian uh tradition they would call themselves a guru and some offer what's called shaktipot which is a transmission of Shakti which is synonymous with Kundalini it's this transmission of the spiritual power from the guru to the aspirant and this can serve to awaken another's Kundalini so in the same way that uh my friends and I had that shared sort of experience it's because like this our energy is contagious you know even if you're sad right it's it's it's radiating outwards and we can pick up on it and so if you're in a high state of consciousness others can also pick up on it and if they're receptive and open they can begin to vibrate with you the nervous system can begin to become co-regulated with you and they can experience their own energetic shifts within their own nervous system within their own chakras and for some that can lead to a full-blown Kundalini Awakening for others it can be a temporary state of expanded Consciousness that then they return back to an ordinary State later on

[01:36:10] Brent: Um it varies greatly across the board it all depends on uh what a person brings to the table in terms of you know the type of work they've done in the past uh their openness their receptiveness the themes that they're exploring in their life what their uh you know their mission is in life as well not everybody's meant to have a Kundalini Awakening and become a Kundalini podcaster or something right but some are meant to have an experience connection between mind and heart maybe like what you describe or maybe they're meant to have an expanded State of Consciousness in their mind and they kind of tap into incredible creativity and that's how they bring forth their gifts everyone has sort of different things um but there are some events like that I would also just say as a preface not a preface a disclaimer you know some people offer these shaktipot Transmissions or they may are they might advertise that they're going to awaken your Kundalini and they may genuinely have some spiritual um skills but that doesn't mean that uh you know in a weekend you're going to become enlightened it doesn't mean that those people are also Beyond taking advantage of you because some people with great Spiritual Development um still have unaddressed wounds and tendencies and it can lead to uh toxic Dynamics Um you know you can quite literally call it you know I can lead to abusive Cults you could say so it's important that everyone uses their discernments um but that doesn't mean we avoid those places you know like I said I was enjoying the transmission from guys like Ram Das David Sparrow Matt Khan Through YouTube through YouTube so uh like I said you know the energy is contagious and it's not limited to the material world it can be transmitted through a text message even yeah absolutely yeah I think that's a very fascinating thing to point out too is uh I mean it's really kind of you know in the uh you know Eastern philosophy there's we'll hear about um Saints where people will you know line up to meet these people we have a AMA the Hugging Saint if you if you've heard of her um I've heard from experiences of people you know like not really believing in that sort of thing but then they go there and they're in her vicinity and they're just like it's undeniable like there's just this thing where you just love this woman like you're just you just feel intense love when you're around this and uh yeah for anybody listening you could pretty much this is a saint uh she's still alive today actually um and she's called the hugging scene because she just lines up for countless hours I mean I think it's they have like I feel like I've heard people mention that she does multiple days or like at least a day straight where she doesn't like Sydney she doesn't get up and use the restroom or anything she just yeah one person after the next gets to hug her and they feel as intense Bliss and it's she's present with every single person and she will be you know like matching their energy and um yeah so it's so it's interesting uh that we have these beings

[01:39:12] Brent: Um and where all these beings too is what's actually very interesting um that we almost have like um have an influence on other people's energy you know we have um there's like a permission to see some form of Truth with some versions of the spiritual path um and I think uh yeah I guess when I brought up the um Joe Dispenza thing um because yeah whether they use a language or not that kind of seems like what they're doing like I again before I really knew much about Kundalini or anything about Kundalini I was doing some uh just like guided meditations from Joe Dispenza um and you know you're you're kind of intentionally like squeezing those different areas of your body and you're kind of like imagining things going up through your head so I think that I don't think that he's trying to like cause massive Kundalini Awakenings but he certainly is you know it's it's the through the realm of healing you know but I will say you know it's that's why I'm so I'm grateful for your work I'm grateful for people like you who are um you know you're just you're peppering your YouTube channel with just such perfect tools to use along the way you know so like maybe people who have listened to your channel um are coming to you from Reading Joe Dispenza's work or not um you know not even just him just these various teachers who are um you know I Expediting the spiritual process along the way and you come out the other side and you're like dude what is happening because in the Western World we don't have a lot of this language like we said in the beginning is hidden behind religious and spiritual texts and a lot of our modern ways of speaking about these things it's very like whoa keep that woo-woo stuff away from me or keep that religious stuff away from me but there's there's a lot of wonderful stuff in it you know and so um me as someone growing up I think I would be you know like a self-diagnosed agnostic or some sort of like atheist Without Really Ever thinking deeply about it I just like to call myself that

[01:41:21] Brent: Um uh you know and I started going through all these experiences myself and um I think maybe I could have helped myself more along the way if I um if I had a you know childhood and upbringing in teenage years where I read these sorts of books that I find fascinating and wonderful now there's just a lot of good juicy real human energetic slash being uh grounded human being it meshes very well in that realm um right yeah so um we I don't know did you have any more thoughts on that Brent did you have any more um yeah well I wanted to just thank you for uh for checking out my work in general I appreciate the support the reason that I do that work is for exactly that reason uh the reason I talk about Kundalini openly um is because when I understood that I was going through Kundalini Awakening that was the greatest gift that could have gotten on this path um in a sense and so I just want to give that to other people because like you said I'm I'm I just want to validate what you said many people are going through different meditations on YouTube or some sort of breath work or some sort of psychedelic experience even facilitated by a so-called professional or a shaman or somebody that's you know offering these things as a service and they're having genuine Kundalini risings and Awakenings and the facilitator or the teacher or the YouTube guide or the app

[01:42:53] Brent: Has no resources for them there's no support um they have to go out and figure this out on their own um now we could argue that yeah that's part of the journey it's part of how the Dow wants to unfold and I can make you know we can make a strong argument for that for sure but I think that we do still have the responsibility that if we are playing the role of some sort of energy healer or Reiki master et cetera Etc meditation teacher yoga teacher if we're you know facilitating breath work or psychedelic workshops you need to understand that very significant powerful energetic unfoldings like Queen Elaine Awakening can take place and they can turn the person's life upside down and I feel that it's important that not everybody has to go through kundalin Awakening you don't need to be a go through Kundalini awake in order to teach meditation but just become aware of these things become aware of some resources just so that if somebody approaches you and says hey in that meditation I had a huge explosion of energy from my spine in my head in my heart I can't stop vibrating after that meditation what's going on and somebody can say like how my friend said to me that sounds like Kundalini just hearing the word then they can go off and Google and they'll be okay it's just I just think that's so important because I've come across like many yoga teachers who

[01:44:22] Brent: Who don't know what this stuff is they don't know that yoga has a very strong energetic component to it I just think it's about stretching and being you know finding a little bit of peace or something that's a component to it but the energetic potential of these practices is massive and um that's why I'm doing this work and I encourage anybody out there just to if you had an experience like yourself um you know your podcast is incredible you've got so many different topics that you're talking about from so many different perspectives and people coming out from different uh walks of life but you still mentioned Kundalini here and there in your process and your Awakening and how you're going through this that alone these little hints just get the conversation going it's out in the Zeitgeist of our conversation collectively it's a known thing now right so somebody listening to your podcast that's interested in maybe the you know your experiences with uh mental health they may hear something that you're talking about Awakening they may say whoa what's this guy talking about it's kind of happened to me finally I have a words describe what I've experienced so the more we get it out there here and there the more people have a little bit of breadcrumbs to pick up it's like you know if I can just like belabor this thing it's like you know putting a little bit of like Flags in a forest that Mark the way out if somebody gets lost they see a flag like okay I can find my way now it's like that so that's my intention with this work because you know

[01:45:47] Brent: It's powerful profound transformative stuff and we need to raise awareness we need to raise awareness I think that's where the collective is going because more people are going to be going through these shifts more and more people um I just wanted to just uh comment briefly on Amma I think uh she's incredible I actually uh attended one of her meetings in Toronto and yeah a huge crowd um now did you experience lineup did you did you hug her or did you experience like the energy like I was mentioning yeah so I mean even just being within the vicinity of that place there is a palpable uh field energetic field that she is you know radiating um I think it goes in conjunction with the people that are attracted to her as well we're all collectively rating a very uh High vibratory energetic field you could say and uh yeah so I went uh up for a hug I had gone with my with my girl my current girlfriend um a few years ago and She'll hug individuals and she also will hug couples together and so I went up with my girlfriend and the host uh you know one of her helpers there uh ushered me to get a hug and so I hugged Emma by myself and you know you it's very possible you can feel like this great piece it's like you're really being held by like the Divine mother or something to that to that nature at least that's what I felt I feel like everyone might have their own experience and then the uh help or recognize it oh this woman is his partner all right send her up give them both the hug together so I got a two hugs out of it so I got to hug uh partner with my with my girlfriend as well so it was a special experience for sure it was uh it was exciting and she you know gives a talk um uh so sort of a thought song to the big group um and she just on the topic of integration and embodimenting being a human being you know she's the Hugging Saint incredible you know she could quite literally sit and just hug people all day or even just not say anything and just be in silence but she's uh a humanitarian

[01:48:02] Brent: Um you know she's helped a lot of poor people I think she's done a lot I mean the philanthropy that has come out through her organization is it's unprecedented and so it's just another example of what it means to be human and yeah she may be enlightened herself realized or whatever you want to call it but she's still you know got her feet on the ground helping people to you know have a bit of a better life and I think that's really important as well it's important message for sure yeah I mean yeah it's it's a it's just a great example of where uh service seems to reign supreme you know that you hear that in all these sort of just all the religious and spiritual teachings they'll have some sort of like serve people and you'll see you know and it is that I think finding your own version of service there is some uh like freedom and it's um you know Terence McKenna says uh um what is it like you jump off the cliff into the abyss and realize it's a feathery bed or something like that you know it's the as you walk upon the path the path will appear you know it's those sorts of things and I think service is uh you know we have our own version of service and it just feels right to us like not trying to mimic the way that somebody else does it but just being you know I mean I'm an artist and so I it's a constant um you know my work is to figure out what's what's me like what's my art what it what am I expressing you know and oh am I trying to mimic somebody am I taking them as inspiration or am I you know really giving what I only I can give and um that's kind of the rule of the artist but I think it's also the role of a spiritual teacher in a sense too you know I think I feel like I see spiritual teachers as artists themselves you know you know learning about their own paintbrush and learning um you know ways in which they can uh paint reality for other people um to make us all feel more grounded while also feeling connected to the divine you know um I would like to round about so I have this uh one of the books that I bought was I don't know if you can see it nice oh yeah backwards yeah I don't know if you've read that one um but uh it's Kundalini video the science of spiritual transformation uh it's from Joanne uh Shiva parita hair again I don't know why I just butchered that so bad um but so I read about that um I got that book and I feel like it helped me in some senses

[01:50:26] Brent: Um I will also recommend for anybody else going through Kundalini um there's a podcast called Buddha at the gas pump I mentioned that to the to you the other day um you said you've checked it out there's actually a whole category on the back Gap Buddha at the gas pump website of Kundalini and it's a just this wonderful man Rick Archer uh who talks with uh spiritually Awakening beings and uh there's just like a lot of good resources in there and again you're hearing people talk about their Kundalini Journey so it's there's really something very grounding about feeling heard and seen and like oh wow I'm going through these same things and like it's okay for me to allow them because other people have gone through them and they've in their you know reassuring me that's going well um I will also mention Aaron apke has some good stuff on YouTube about Kundalini Awakenings I just wonder if you had um of course your channel like your channel is so great for anybody going through Spiritual Awakening I feel like your thumbnail those are great for it your titles are great really you draw people right in where they're gonna need to go so like man keep doing what you're doing thank you so much for your work but um do you have anybody else that you might kind of throw in throw into the pile for anybody who maybe they've listened up to this point and they're like wow I think I have gone through this or I am going through this or I know a friend who's going through this what else might you throw their way what other you know books or resources

[01:51:45] Brent: Um I recently read a book by an incredible woman named Dr Yvonne Cason it's called touched by the lights I found that to be a really clear documenting some of the after effects the physical After Effects the energetic After Effects psychic after effects of the Awakening process um she's incredible she's been through her own uh really significant ships there's a book called the spiritual awakening guide by Mary Weller chutan which I really enjoy as well uh uh especially after the major shifts uh on the Mind level like how I described earlier on in my journey that massive Awakening in my mind seeing you know non-duality or the shift out of ego and no self I found the work by Adia Shanti to be very uh useful for me so he has a book called The End Of Your World uncensored Straight Talk on the nature of Enlightenment and so he speaks about integration and embodiment uh in that book and uh really clear ways he is another teacher that doesn't openly talk about Kundalini before from what I understand he's been through Kundalini Awakening it's not uh within the wording that he uses often um but it's there and you know there's many teachers that have gone through that don't don't talk about it openly Um because of course it's it's polarizing uh and scary for some I can turn some people um let me see here um I love um of course uh The Power of Now uh the work by Matt Khan has been very incredible for me to uh to lay the foundation for what it means to Unconditionally Love I found Matt Collins work uh to really be incredible and uh for a bit of a uh I guess I could say light enjoyable read ROM Das would be here now oh yeah uh a plus yeah incredible yeah I love how you mentioned um you know not a lot of these people really they don't use the same terminologies they're not always talking about Kundalini Awakening but I think once you kind of have a grasp of what it is um you can hear a lot of these spiritual uh you know conversations are kind of talking about Kundalini waking I've heard um I don't think it was you I've heard somebody talking about how uh you know a very like if you imagine in your mind a very um Christian uh like older lady uh who you know maybe her hobby is knitting uh and maybe I'm maybe I'm playing this from around talk actually but uh like she has she may have gone through a very profound Kundalini Awakening but she would never use those terminologies she would use um you know christ-like Consciousness or you know probably wouldn't even say that but um she would

[01:54:47] Brent: There's many different ways of describing this experience you know I think Kundalini in a lot of ways is just another way it's another way that we can gain information in some grounding and you know I think if you're listening and this sounds like you know enticing to you maybe that's your path of learning what's going on in your experiences maybe you pursue a little bit farther down Kundalini Awakening um whether you typically use those terminologies or not um just to say that many different people are going through what we would probably consider Kundalini Awakening if it's something that we all had a um you know the a similar language for so yeah um well said yeah uh so man I think we're getting up here in time I would love to wrap it up I would love uh of course please mention where to find you I will link things um in the description of course but I would love one more thing just whatever pops into your mind for anybody listening who is going through a Kundalini awaken or has going through a Kundalini Awakening or they're just on the spiritual path uh do you have a message for them do you have anything that comes to mind like what um speak to these people who are on the Awakening path anything pop into your mind Brett Yeah I feel like saying you know one step at a time when things are difficult just be with that one step that one difficult step when things are going great you can also recognize that you are you're walking you're moving even the great things may change as you continue forward so you enjoy those things but be mindful as well that's uh nothing lasts good or bad one step at a time be fully present with whatever's whatever's there the difficult things the exciting things the mystical things I like to think of it as uh as a Journey part of my aim is to really squash the idea that there's ever a Finish Line no Finish Line not in my view we keep going and uh exploring new things and revisiting things in new ways and no matter what you're going through it's all welcome unconditionally unconditionally the real deal spiritual path with an open heart

[01:57:11] Brent: Does not push anything away nothing at all it's all welcome here yeah

[01:57:13] Jacob: so beautifully said so beautifully said yeah uh Yeah allow it allow it that's absolutely beautiful um all right man uh real quick drop where to find you out you're under Brent sphere on Instagram and YouTube and everything yeah Brent Spirit yeah and uh you can also find me on my website brentspirit.com uh I've got my podcast on uh Spotify and apple it's called the spiritual awakening show excellent cool definitely check that out um Brent thank you so much for your time again I will link all those sorts of things and um man certainly stay in touch I really love talking to you man and I really love uh just consuming your work and um I I love you know as I'm scrolling through on Instagram and stuff just seeing your Clips so please keep doing what you're doing and thank you so much for doing it oh thank you're so welcome and right back at you man keep doing what you're doing I've been uh listening to some of your music spoken word cool stuff man I really had a great time today so thank you thank you so much cool excellent man we'll be in touch I'll let you know I'll tag you in clips and whatnot as I make them and then once I drop the episode I'll shoot you a message okay sweet all right take care now love yourself everybody peace out much love peace hello and welcome to the Junkyard Love podcast

[01:58:43] Outro: At what age do we learn how to have better conversations at what age should we learn to have better conversations with ourselves